The Difference Between True Love and Unhealthy Obsession post image

I think  most women run into issues and confusion in their love lives because they don’t know what a truly healthy relationship looks like, and is supposed to feel like. And it’s not surprising given the very unrealistic portrayals of love in movies, TV, and music. There is this idea that we have one soul mate and that real love stories are supposed to be filled with obstacles and drama. While this makes for good entertainment, it isn’t real life.

Most of the love stories we see in pop culture are rooted in infatuation…not real love. Some degree of infatuation is fine, but a relationship entirely rooted in infatuation is usually doomed. It’s usually based on an obsession, or idealization, more than a genuine appreciation and acceptance of who the other person is.

There is a tremendous difference between real, true love and unhealthy obsession or fixation… but it doesn’t always feel like that.

What do I mean by love and fixation?

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10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men Review post image

We’ve been telling you about this for a little while and now it’s finally here… our new book, “10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men” is available on Amazon for Kindle and in paperback.

If there is anything I’ve learned over the last seven years spent writing about men and relationships, it’s that knowledge is power. It is also freedom. It grants you freedom from being stuck in dead-end relationships, from racking your brain trying to figure out what he’s thinking and how he feels. It frees you from the stress, insecurity, and worry that come with not knowing.

This book takes a look at the most common relationship scenarios- the ones that cause the most confusion- and explains everything. It provides a breakdown of the male psyche while also giving you a lot of insight into yourself and into your relationships. While the book was written by me and in my own voice, Eric worked closely with me as my trusted advisor and man decoder and provided invaluable insights into the male mind that I never could have uncovered on my own.

To give you a little taste of what you’ll learn, here are the 10 things you need to know as well as small samplings of what you’ll find in each chapter.

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Ask a Guy: What Do Guys Like In a Girl? post image

“There’s a guy at work that I’ve been interested in for a while.  The problem is, he sends mixed signals and I can’t tell if he really is interested in me and flirting or if he’s just being friendly.

What do guys like in a girl?  What makes a guy want to date a girl versus not seeing her as “girlfriend material”?  What do men want in a woman that makes them see them as a catch?”

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20 Questions to Ask a Guy to Get Closer post image

In this age of endless connection, we are more disconnected than ever and most relationships don’t go very far beyond the surface. Maybe it’s because we hold ourselves back or maybe it’s because we no longer have the tools to genuinely connect, like face-to-face and via conversation.

In order to build the foundation for a relationship, you need to create a meaningful connection, and this comes when you truly connect with who the other person is.

A little while back, I discovered this site called Thought Questions and I started keeping a list of some of my favorites. When my husband and I were still dating, I pulled up the list one night and suggested we play the “questions game.” We also mixed it up by seeing if we could guess what the other person would answer. It was a lot of fun, but also a very profound experience and we ended up learning so much about each other (and about ourselves!), which brought us even closer. To this day we make an effort to spend time asking each other deep, meaningful questions that go beyond ‘how was your day?’ And every time we do this, we discover new and interesting things about each other.

In his book “The Seven principles of Making a Marriage Work,” famed relationship researcher John Gottman (the dude who can predict whether a couple will get divorced with something like 95% accuracy after watching them interact for only a few minutes) cites “enhancing your love maps” as the first principle. A love map is essentially knowing all relevant information about your partner’s life, from small things like the name of their first pet to big things like significant experiences that shaped who they are. He explains that couples who have detailed love maps of each other’s worlds are much more equipped to cope with stressful events and overcome conflict.

The point is, knowledge is powerful and asking the right questions can unlock the gates for a meaningful connection and deep understanding of one another. It doesn’t matter what stage of a relationship you’re in, it could be the first date or your 10th year of marriage, people are deep and complex and always evolving so there is always something new to learn.

To help you tap into the power of knowing, here is a list of my favorite bonding questions to ask your guy in order to get even closer and more connected.

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5 Signs He’s Not That Into You post image

There is nothing more exasperating in the world of dating than a guy who seems really interested, but then also maybe not…but then yes…but no again. I’ve been there, and I know most of you have based on the comments and e-mails we receive.

When a guy really likes you, it’s usually pretty obvious. So too when a guy doesn’t like you. The uncertainty usually runs rampant if a guy seems to fall somewhere in between.

He disappears for days at a time and then texts you the sweetest message you’ve ever received. He says he really cares about you, but doesn’t really act like it. And while you’re on this topsy-turvy ride, all you want to know is does this guy like me or not?! You see, a guy can be somewhat interested, but not into it. Instead of seeing it for what it is, women make up excuses and justifications to rationalize the bad behavior away. They say he’s sending mixed messages or playing games or is afraid of getting hurt.

Ladies, my many years of dating and writing about dating have taught me one thing: there are no mixed messages. Either he’s into you or he’s not.

Here are five tell-tale signs that he’s not:

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Give Thanks Without Getting Fat: The Do’s & Don’ts of Thanksgiving Dinner post image

The holidays are prefect for celebrating, but aren’t exactly ideal for healthy eating. Fortunately, you can make it through the holidays with your figure intact. The most important thing is to be aware of common traps that can pile on the pounds which is why I’m sharing some important do’s and don’ts for surviving Thanksgiving dinner.

Time to pack on the fun, not the pounds this holiday season!

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