Ask a Guy: Friends With Benefits Rules post image

I’d like to know your rules for having a friends with benefits arrangement.  I’m not looking to be in a relationship right now, but I’m only human and I have needs.  I want something that’s dependable enough that I can take care of my needs without having to jump from guy to guy or pick some guy up at a bar or club.  Yes, I understand that this isn’t what women say they typically want, but I just got out of a long, difficult relationship and I don’t want to dive right back into commitment again.  

Can you tell me the best friends with benefits rules so I can make this happen without drama or complication?

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Letting Go of Your Dream Guy … So You Can Find Love with the Right Guy post image

Dreaming is good.

In America, “dream big” is often the mantra of success. It’s not uncommon to hear actors, entrepreneurs, politicians, musicians, and athletes attribute their accomplishments to an undying commitment to never abandoning their dreams, no matter how bleak the path ahead may have appeared. In the words of Jim Carrey, “It is better to risk starving to death than surrender. If you give up on your dreams, what’s left?”

It is indeed inspiring to hear tales of perseverance: stories about people who held onto optimism and the hope that somehow, someday, the life they were living would match the life they could only imagine. That the wait would be over, and the finish line would make the whole journey—all the pain, the disappointment, the rejection—finally worth it.

But does dreaming big work well for your love life?

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Ask Dr. Jen: How To Get a Thigh Gap? post image

Question: Hello Dr. Jen, I have a two-part question. The first is I’m wondering what I can do to get a thigh gap. Also, is it true that it’s impossible for some people to ever have a thigh gap?

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Relationship Reality Check: 5 Harsh Truths About Being in a Relationship post image

When you’re single, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everything will be perfect when you find the right guy. I’ll admit that I was once guilty of this line of thinking. It can seem like a relationship is that one missing piece and once you have it, you will finally have it all. Then maybe you meet a guy, you click, you start dating, and all seems to be running smoothly until certain unpleasant realities of being in a relationship start to creep in, either slowly and by degrees or quickly and all at once.

Relationships take work; there is no way around that. You can be totally perfect for one another, you can love each other like crazy, you can be wildly attracted to one another, you can even be soul mates, and you will still have to work at it. When you’re in a relationship, it isn’t just about you anymore. Your choices, your actions, your behavior, your tone of voice, your mood, and so forth all affect someone else (and vice versa). A relationship is a partnership, and having a partner is amazing in many ways, but it also means there is someone else in the picture who matters. And like you, he also comes with a fair amount of baggage, issues, unresolved pain from the past, etc.

When a relationship starts to get real, it can be confusing and overwhelming. You may wonder if you’ve made a mistake, if maybe this isn’t the right relationship. You may feel wronged because this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.  All relationships will hit points where you struggle, and actually, the struggles are a good thing. When handled right, they can make you even stronger as a couple. But when dealt with improperly, they can cause irreparable harm (to both you and the relationship).

Here are five not-so-fun facts you must face about being in a relationship:

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Tighten Up: Top 3 Pilates Moves for a Toned Booty post image

Looking to tone up your booty for the upcoming short shorts season? There are a variety of Pilates exercises that are perfect not only for glute strength, but for hamstring, back, and ab strength as well. Many of us who spend a lot of time sitting during the day have tight hip flexors. Hip flexors are a group of large muscles that connect the front thigh to the pelvis and are in charge of flexing at the hip joint. Tight hip flexor muscles can pull your pelvis out of whack, which can lead to bad posture and low back pain. Performing exercises that focus on the glutes and hamstrings is perfect for realigning the pelvis and opening up tight hips while also shaping up that booty.

In my last article about toning your abs, I mentioned that Pilates is a full-body workout with an emphasis on the core. Meaning you never just work one muscle group; instead, you use the core to develop a deep connection through your entire body, from head to toe. Strengthening the core connection can help correct posture, heal back pain, prevent injuries, and rehabilitate.

It’s no surprise that Pilates is gaining immense popularity in the fitness world. I truly believe that if done mindfully, it is the healthiest and most efficient form of exercise.

Here are my three favorite exercises to tighten and tone your backside:

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Ask a Guy: Is His Reason for Not Wanting to Commit Real or Just an Excuse? post image

I have been seeing this guy for a little while now, it’s a long-distance relationship and we aren’t exclusive. When we’re together, he seems super into me.  He talks about me to his friends, engages in PDA, and compliments me all the time. He initiates every conversation, checks up on me if I don’t reply, makes plans in advance, clears his schedule for me, etc., and I know for a fact that he isn’t seeing or hooking up with anyone else. 

He tells me he misses me and that distance sucks because we can’t be together, but adds that we should keep our options open in the meantime. I tried ending it, but he begged me not to (although he also said he would understand if that’s what I truly wanted). In the end, we both decided to keep the lines of communication open.

I can’t wrap my head around the fact that he says he genuinely likes me but still wants to play the field when I’m not around and doesn’t mind if another guy snatches me up. Is distance a legitimate reason not to commit, or is he just not that into me?

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