So you want to know how to make your ‘bf’ miss you? Use this simple guide with a guy and you’ll have him missing you like crazy (and loving you all the more).
Who doesn’t want to feel missed by a man? Whether you’re crushing on a new guy, in a relationship with one, or considering getting back together with an ex, it’s always preferable to have him miss you.
There’s a fine line between being your most charming self and getting lost in mind-games. One way to help distinguish which side of that line you’re on is whether or not you feel like you’re being yourself. If you find yourself resorting to methods that don’t feel true to you, that’s a red flag. Even if you do manage to snag the object of your affection, are you really going to want to keep up these tricks during the relationship?
Just like we don’t want guys to manipulate us into feeling or behaving a certain way, we should aim to avoid scheming. No guy is worth you warping your personality into someone he might like.
Having said all of that, there’s nothing wrong with working your best angles and acting with a goal in mind. There are some tips and tools you can try out in order to be the most winning version of yourself. Fortunately, most of these steps will lead to you thriving in a fulfilling life – whether you end up with your current crush or not.
Here’s our handy list of 16 ways to make him miss you.
1. Don’t be available 24/7.
If you spend all your time apart from him with your phone in your clenched fingers, waiting for it to vibrate with his name, put the phone down. This isn’t ideal for either of you. Of course, you love talking to him, but you have to leave some energy for the rest of your life. Don’t be half-invested in a conversation with your friend because you’ve got one eye on the phone.
You don’t want to be too easily accessible. If you know that the second you message someone you’re going to have an instant response, doesn’t that answer lose a little value? Meanwhile, if you’re not 100% sure how quickly someone is going to reply, you don’t take it for granted when they do.
It’s okay to let him wonder what you’re up to occasionally. He doesn’t need to know exactly what you’re doing every second of the day. Leave a little room for mystery.
Now I just want to add, the best way to do this is to actually be busy with your life so much so that you’re not glued to your phone waiting for him to text, as opposed to pretending to have a full life when really you’re just sitting at home waiting for him to text and then not responding for a certain amount of time to make it seem like you’re busy with other things.
It’s about where you put your focus. If you focus on a lot of things, not just him and how he feels, then you will naturally be a little less accessible and hence, more intriguing.
2. Don’t always be the one to message first.
Speaking of phones, take a look at your message history with your crush. Do all of the chats begin with you sending the first message? If so, hold off contacting him. It’s OK to give him the space to take initiative. If he doesn’t, don’t be too bummed. It could be that he loves talking to you but has grown accustomed to you being the one to start things off.
When you stop messaging, you could end up not having any contact for a while. That’s okay. It might take him a minute to realize you’re not going to reach out. If he’s on the shy side, it could take a little extra time before he initiates. But if he likes you, he will kick things back up again.
If you never hear from him again, then it’s possible he was never all that interested, to begin with.
3. Look your best when you see him.
It’s not breaking news that men are visual creatures. You can capitalize on this by always putting in extra effort when you know you’re going to see him. Depending on how well you know what he likes, you can even cater to his particular quirks. For example, some guys go crazy for red lipstick and a pony-tail. Others like loose hair and a natural look. If you happen to know his preferences, there’s nothing wrong with playing to them. If he knows that you know and that you’re doing this on purpose, this has an added element of flirtation.
Just like you would be turned off if a guy wore two-day old sweats and inadequate deodorant when you were around, downplaying your appearance sends a message. When you put in zero effort to look nice, he might take this as a sign you’re not into him.
4. Have a great day – and tell him about it.
Don’t put off fun things you want to do because you’re hanging onto a daydream about doing them with him. If you want to check out a rock-climbing class or the cool club you keep seeing on your social media, go for it. There will still be all kinds of worthwhile activities you can do with your crush later.
In addition to being enjoyable, this has the helpful benefit of showing him what an exciting life you have. He’s naturally going to be drawn to a woman who finds joy in her life. No one is wildly attracted to a person who just sits around and talks about doing something interesting “one day.”
While you don’t need to jump to volunteer the details of your adventures, don’t shy away from it either. If he asks you how your weekend went, tell him all about it.
5. Speak with your body.
As seductive as that sounds, we’re not talking strictly about the bedroom. (Although, don’t be shy about showing off your best moves in that area, either.) Our bodies communicate for us whether we’re aware of it or not. Sometimes we subconsciously pick up on the vibe someone is giving us without even realizing it. In most conversations, what we remember is not necessarily what the person said but how they made us feel.
Stay a step ahead by being aware of your body language. Lean in close when he talks. Maintain bold eye contact and hold his gaze for a couple seconds longer than a friend would. Let your eye wander to his lips. Trust us – he’ll notice.
When he makes a joke, use it as an excuse to laugh and touch his arm. Let your legs touch when you sit down next to him. All of these little details go farther than you’d think.
MORE: How to Seduce a Guy
6. Mirror him.
In some ways, mirroring includes – but is not restricted to – body language. If he places his elbows on the table to get closer to you, you can follow suit. Physically mimicking someone can increase your sexual tension as well as make you feel emotionally closer to the person. You could accidentally take this to an amusing level if you copy him too closely, so follow this advice with moderation.
However, mirroring goes beyond the physical. You can adapt your level of enthusiasm in conversations according to his. Don’t send smiley faces and exclamation points if you’re getting one or two-word answers. If he makes an adorable gesture, reciprocate with one of your own.
Most guys like to take the lead in the relationship. Subtly showing that you are receptive to this could increase his confidence in pursuing you.
MORE: How to Turn a Guy On
7. Open up to him.
Don’t spill your guts on a first date but be aware of the power of admitting something personal about yourself. There’s a reason that your best friend in the world is the one who knows the most intimate details about you. We bond over admitting our worries, dreams, and insecurities with others.
Once you’ve opened up to him, he’ll also feel more secure in doing the same with you. One person has to be the first to amp up the level of trust between the two of you, and it’s okay if that person is you.
Again, protect yourself. Don’t start off by sharing something you’d be horrified to have other people hear about. Just share something lightly intimate about yourself and watch his appreciation for your vulnerability.
8. Encourage him to spend time without you.
There’s nothing worse than a clinger who can’t handle you spending time on your own or with other people. A relationship with zero alone time is one that’s doomed to fail. It’s very appealing when a woman is secure enough to suggest a man have a guy’s night. He needs that male bonding time just like you need your girl time.
When you spend adequate time apart, it makes your time spent together that much sweeter. Having had a chance to miss each other, you really cherish whatever it is you’re doing, even if that’s just snuggling up and watching your favorite show.
Once you’re in a relationship, this part is especially crucial. Part of the learning curve of a new relationship is figuring out how much alone time each person needs. In most cases, there’s always going to be one person who needs more alone time than the other. Don’t take it personally if he’s the one that needs more introverted unwind time than you do.
9. Send him sweet messages.
This one probably isn’t the best idea if you’re still at the beginning of the flirtation phase. It’s more disconcerting than cute to get a “goodnight!” text from a girl you don’t know very well. Avoid coming on too strong by adjusting the tone and frequency of your messages according to the development of the relationship.
Once it’s appropriate, a well-timed and romantic message is a perfect way to make sure you’re on your man’s mind. It could be something like, “Hope your meeting goes well, thinking of you today XO.”
For an advanced relationship where you feel safe to do so, you can add some sultry tones. You could acknowledge a new move he tried in the bedroom last night and tell him you’re still thinking about it. Maybe you send him a snap of some lingerie you bought and say you’re looking forward to him coming over later. These kinds of messages are a sure-fire way to have him thinking about you all day long.
10. Be there for him when he needs you.
Before a guy can fully fall for a woman, he has to feel safe with her. Trust is a vital component for a thriving relationship. Without it, you’re building on a fake ground that could give out at any moment.
One of the best ways to establish trust is by showing him that he can count on you. Dropping what you’re doing to be with him in a crisis shows him how highly he ranks in your list of priorities. Listening to him talk about a problem in his life without inserting an opinion every two seconds is also useful.
Essentially, you want to show him that he doesn’t have to have his guard up around you. You’re stable and you’re committed to being there when he needs you. This is a really beautiful thing to have, and it’s not something he’ll take lightly.
11. Show interest in what he’s interested in.
When he talks about something that’s important to him, follow up with additional questions. Remember what he says. Even if it’s not an interest that you share, be willing to learn about it. Who knows, maybe it’ll end up becoming something you’re passionate about as well. If not, being receptive to it regardless will show him you care more about him than doing exactly what you want with every second of your day.
As an example, if he brings up his favorite band, ask him to show you what he thinks their best tracks are. Even if you’re a country-loving bumpkin, keep an open mind about his heavy-metal. If your relationship grows, you can show your devotion by surprising him with tickets to that excessively loud, long-hair-whipping band. Though you may be hiding earplugs, he’ll appreciate you tolerating the base pulsing through your chest.
This showing interest thing is a two-way street. Make sure you’re doing this for a guy who’s happy to do the same for you.
12. Do little things for him.
It’s easier to do charming gestures for a guy when you’re actively in a relationship with him. Making him coffee before he wakes up for work or secretly sliding a note in his lunch are endearing acts of kindness. Once you know a man well, it’s not as challenging to think up these moves. You know what he would find most adorable and you can use that your advantage.
You can still work this angle when you’re getting to know someone. If you go out for coffee, make a mental note of what he orders. The next time you’re going to see him, surprise him with his favorite drink. This doesn’t take much effort but will strike a chord with him. It could also make you pop into his mind whenever he orders that drink.
13. Give him the benefit of the doubt.
If you send five angry texts when a guy doesn’t respond right away, that’s going to be a major turn-off. Don’t assume the worst before you know the details of a situation. There are plenty of good explanations for a delayed response. Until it becomes a pattern, don’t immediately give him grief about it.
The same goes for if he has to cancel a date. We like to say that a guy who wants to see you won’t give you excuses, and while that’s certainly true, there are always going to be exceptions. It would be unfortunate timing if he bailed on plans early in your relationship, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.
By showing him that you’re willing to listen and not jump to conclusions, you’ll appear attractively calm, reasonable, and secure in yourself.
14. Boost his ego.
A little disclaimer here… if a guy’s already overflowing with confidence, don’t work to inflate the size of his head. Additionally, don’t overdo this until you know the guy is worth the energy. But if he’s a nice guy and you want to leave an impression, there are small ways you can stroke his ego in a positive way.
Laugh at his jokes – even the ones that wouldn’t quite make the cut on SNL. When he’s standing with a group of guys, make it clear that you’ve got eyes only for him. If he wears a new shirt, tell him you like it.
If you seem apathetic to him, he’s going to feel unattractive in your eyes. By letting him know you’re buying what he’s selling, you’ll boost his confidence. A man who feels appreciated is going to yearn for the woman who made him feel that way.
15. Don’t play hard to get.
The ironic thing about playing hard to get is that it can work, but it’ll work on the wrong kind of guy. If the only reason he’s into you is that you’re hard to catch, what will you do once he’s caught you? You can’t stay in the limbo phase of the relationship forever. If a guy isn’t interested in the authentic you, playing the enigmatic mystery girl will only work for a brief period of time.
Don’t be confused by the earlier advice to not be overly available. By resisting the urge to jump for your phone the second he texts, you let a guy know not to take you for granted. That’s not the same as trying to make him view you as some magical being impossible to keep track of. When you value the rest of your life instead of constantly obsessing over your crush, you automatically become more desirable. This is genuine instead of manipulative, and eventually, a guy will pick up on which one you’re doing.
MORE: Let Him Miss You
16. Enjoy your life.
Follow your bliss. Engage in the hobbies that make you happy. Pursue the career that makes you excited to jump out of bed in the morning. Spend your spare time with the people who make you lose track of time altogether. Take care of yourself.
By focusing on yourself, you become the most attractive person you could possibly be. People who are in love with their lives are magnetic. You can’t help wanting to be closer to them, to soak up some second-hand passion. Without even trying, you’ll bring positivity wherever you go. That’s a guaranteed way to make someone miss your presence.
It’s a blessing that by devoting time to yourself and your happiness, you’ll naturally attract the right man to you. Trust the process.
I hope this article helped you learn what it takes to make a man miss you and want you even more. But that’s not all it takes to have an amazing relationship. Do you know what really inspires a man to commit? Do you know what it takes for him to see you as girlfriend material, as a woman who is a cut above all the rest? If not, you need to read this next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
Also, there will come a point where it seems like he’s losing interest. Maybe he pulls away and seems to withdraw. Do you know what to do to get your relationship back on track? If not, read this too: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
How to Make Him Miss You:
- Don’t be available 24/7.
- Don’t always be the one to message first.
- Look your best when you see him.
- Have a great day – and tell him about it.
- Speak with your body.
- Mirror him.
- Open up to him.
- Encourage him to spend time without you.
- Send him sweet messages.
- Be there for him when he needs you.
- Show interest in what he’s interested in.
- Do little things for him.
- Give him the benefit of the doubt.
- Boost his ego.
- Don’t play hard to get.
- Enjoy your life.