How do you know when you’re in love?
Given all the ridiculous and highly idealized visions of love we’re flooded with on a pretty much daily basis, it’s no wonder so many people have no idea what love actually is.
A quick Google search for “How to know you’re in love” will give you a litany of nonsense that is more of a depiction of lust and infatuation than true love.
Most people engage in what I call “chicken love.” What’s that you ask? Chicken love is the man who really loves chicken. He can eat chicken for every meal. When you ask him if he loves chicken he’ll say, absolutely! But he doesn’t love chicken. If he loved chickens, he wouldn’t be eating them, he would build a chicken coop and spend time with them and take care of them. He loves the way eating chicken makes him feel.
Yes, love can make you feel really good, but that’s not all there is to love. The fact is, sometimes love will make you feel really bad, and I’m not just talking about breakups! Even in a loving relationship things aren’t always going to feel good.
That’s the problem today. The second the road gets a little rocky, people assume it’s because the relationship isn’t right and they bail. Conversely, people think when the road is a little too rocky it must mean you’re meant to be and need to keep fighting because isn’t that the vision of love we always see? Two star-crossed lovers fighting against the odds to make it work?
So what is love really?