Ask a Guy: Signs He Does Not Like You post image

Ask a Guy: Signs He Does Not Like You

I read your “Does He Like Me” post (very helpful!), but my question is:  Can you help me decode signs a guy doesn’t like me?

There’s this guy I really like from work. We’ve talked a few times – he’s really cute. To be honest, I have a total crush on him!

Problem is, he’s been more stand-offish lately and I’m afraid I blew it, but maybe I’m just being paranoid. Can you let me know common ways to tell if a guy isn’t interested?

I haven’t had a crush in a while. Count yourself lucky – it’s nice to have crushes.

If you are asking this question because you think the man you want is losing interest in you, then the best thing you could do right now would be to take this quiz immediately (it’s highly accurate and will give you point-by-point advice on exactly what to do):

QUIZ: Is He Losing Interest In You?

OK, on to the rest of my answer…

Stand-offish isn’t exactly a promising sign, but who knows? Let’s go through the checklist of ten ways to tell a guy is not into you:

1. He’s not around you.

This is the biggest sign of whether or not a guy is into you. If he’s not into you, he won’t be “around.”

It’s funny – guys will act a hundred different ways around the woman they like… they’ll even completely ignore her! Or tease her. Or be annoying.

But if they’re into her, it’s not a matter of how they’re acting. It’s the fact that one way or another, they always seem to be acting that particularly different way only around her.

He’ll find reasons to be close to you. He’ll always just seem to end up in the same parts of the room as you.

You may not have noticed it before, but once you start paying attention you’ll completely notice it. And if you don’t see that tending to happen with this guy, it’s a sign he does not like you.

2. He talks to you about being interested in other women comfortably.

So maybe you and him talk on a regular basis. If he talks to you about other women, or a relationship with a woman, casually and comfortably, that’s a likely sign he’s not into you (in a romantic sense, at least).

Now, a guy might talk about how another woman is hot randomly, and sometimes that can be innocent. However, if you notice that he not only talks about other women, but talks about liking a woman on more than just a physical level, or wanting to date her, then that’s a very clear sign he’s not interested in you.

QUIZ: Am I Accidentally Destroying My Love Life?

3. He has no interest in talking to you.

This is plain enough. If he doesn’t have an interest in talking to you, it’s pretty much a given that he’s not interested.

But don’t assume he’s not interested based on something like him not texting you back immediately. Guys and their texting habits can be tricky, and you can’t use that to assess his level of interest.

If he has ample opportunity to talk to you and never acts on it, that’s a sign he’s not interested. On that same note, if you talk to him and he always finds a way to stop talking to you, or always lets the conversation fizzle out and die, then it’s very likely a sign he doesn’t like you in a romantic sense.

MORE: 10 Guaranteed Signs He Doesn’t Like You

4. His body language/general behavior.

Negative body language cues include: avoiding eye contact, positioning his body away from you, not engaging in the conversation (non-verbal signs of this are him not smiling while talking to you, or not nodding and showing active interest in what you’re saying), maintaining distance from you, looking around the room while talking to you… It’s usually pretty obvious when someone isn’t focused on you.

If he does any of these things, he most likely isn’t interested. There’s enough dating advice / flirting tips stuff out there that beats those points into the ground, so I’m not going to spend time talking about body language.

In fact, I lay out the foundations for all the most common relationship advice problems here, so you can check that page out.

5. He’s always busy. No rain check.

He sets up dates last minute, he keeps rescheduling, he flakes constantly on you – if any of this sounds familiar, he’s not that into you (as they say). Missing a date or two is one thing, but if this is a regular occurrence then it becomes telling. A guy will make the time for a woman he’s interested in. Period.

6. There’s no difference between how he talks to you vs. other friends. Casual tone of voice.

When a guy is interested in a woman, there’s always a slight difference in the way he interacts with her. It may be subtle, but you’ll notice it. He’ll have some special way of talking to her, or extend some special kind of attention to her that he doesn’t generally extend.

The best thing you can do to tell if a guy likes you is pay close attention to how he interacts with others in general. Which brings me to my next point…

MORE: 5 Telltale Signs He Likes You

7. He flirts with you… but he flirts with everyone else, too.

This is where I see a lot of women get confused. They get all wound up because some guy totally swept them off their feet. He got her number, they had a charming conversation, she texts him and…

Nothing! Where did he go?

The problem is this particular guy flirts with every woman. That’s just his way of being.

In fact, I used to have a habit of calling women pet names like sweetheart, “hun,” and stuff like that. I thought it was affectionate and nice, but I meant it in a platonic way.

I didn’t realize it, but I ended up leading women on and they took it to mean I was into them and started crushing back on me. I honestly wasn’t talking to them this way to be flirtatious, but it came off that way.

I learned my lesson, and the lesson I want to impart here is that you have to pay attention to how the guy interacts with others in general, not just with you.

8. He’s a friendly, outgoing guy in general.

Similar to above. Pay attention to how he interacts with others.

MORE: 11 Enormous Signs He’s Not Serious About You

9. He doesn’t talk about feelings, doesn’t say “I love you,” or says he’s “not sure what he feels” (a.k.a. I know what I feel and you would not respond well if I told you).

This is more in the realm of relationship problem advice, but I figure it’s worth mentioning here.

In fact, I think the very best thing you could do right now is read the following article:

MORE: Signs You Are In A Toxic Relationship

If you’re dating, or “seeing,” a guy and it’s been going on for several months, the common warning sign that he’s not really invested is if he doesn’t share his true feelings with you.

This isn’t exactly a relationship advice post, so don’t get too bent out of shape since all of this should be taken in context. Guys go about expressing their feelings in all different ways, so it’s important that you set your antenna to their frequency and let things unfold over time. In general, giving a guy space and time to show his feelings is the best policy.

The only major red flag is when it’s been many months (say, six or more) and any conversation around feelings has him saying he’s “not sure” or “doesn’t know” how he feels.

10. He ignores you and/or shows you disrespect (putting down your values, thoughts, ideas).

Some guys have their own issues to work out … and unfortunately, some women get caught up in being the medium through which the guy works them out.

To be perfectly honest, I’ve been that guy. I regret saying and doing some things I’ve done and said in relationships. The truth is at those points in my life, I was working out my own issues and I took it out on the woman instead of addressing the person who really had the problem: me.

Still, if a guy regularly ignores you, disrespects you, or puts you down, you need to seriously consider moving on.

This is tricky, usually because when you’re on the receiving end, the painful parts feel bad… but the good times, by contrast, feel amazing.

It feels like progress… like you made a difference… like you’re worthy. It feels like an emotional roller coaster. And it can be addicting.

The problem is, it usually ends in emotional wreckage. If you notice a pattern like this, my advice is to get out of it!

OK, those are enough signs he does not like you to get you by. If you want more, we have a whole chapter devoted to figuring out if a guy likes or loves you in our book “He’s Not That Complicated: How to Crack a Man’s Romantic Code to Get the Relationship You Want.”

There’s also our very popular (and extremely accurate) “Does He Like Me?” Quiz, so you can check that out here too:

QUIZ: The “Does He Like Me?” Quiz

I hope this article gave you clarity on how he feels about you. If you’re interested in him and you’re getting the sense that he’s losing interest, or pulling away, then you need to read this next article right now so you don’t risk losing him for good: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...

Also, did you know that there is one pivotal moment in a relationship that basically determines your fate as a couple? At some point the guy will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to settle down with? Do you know what inspires a man to commit, as opposed to seeing a woman as just a fling? If not, read this next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman

Hope it helps,

– eric charles

These Are the Signs A Guy Doesn’t Like You:

  1. He’s not around you.
  2. He talks to you about being interested in other women comfortably.
  3. He has no interest in talking to you.
  4. His body language/general behavior.
  5. He’s always busy. No rain check.
  6. There’s no difference between how he talks to you vs. other friends.
  7. He flirts with you… but he flirts with everyone else, too.
  8. He’s a friendly, outgoing guy in general.
  9. He doesn’t talk about feelings, doesn’t say “I love you,” or says he’s “not sure what he feels”
  10. He ignores you and/or shows you disrespect

Written by Eric Charles

I'm Eric Charles, the co-founder and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing articles to help people free themselves from suffering and have clarity in their love life. I have a degree in Psychology and I've dedicated the last 20 years of my life to learning everything I can about human psychology and sharing what gets people out of struggling with life and into having the life they really want. If you want to contact me, feel free to reach out on Facebook or Twitter.

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I talk to this guy for a week or two and he would call and text but didnt want to meet and hang out said cause he was in a 3 year relationship and didnt want to rush any thing told me he liked me called me baby my phone died while we was talking and he hasn’t talked to me since told me to leave him alone did he really like me or just playing me

Reply October 14, 2023, 7:13 pm

Pretty Lady

I realized he did not like me when he sent me sexual memes. We are not sexual. Why would he think it is appropriate? Oh…because he sees me as one of his boys and not an attractive love interest to respect, value, court, etc. Got it.

Reply November 1, 2022, 1:58 pm

Lorinda Remiszewski

Thanx so much for helping me.

Reply February 6, 2021, 12:23 pm

Derek Frederson

Never date anyone you work with. I was fired for sexual harassment after our breakup, and then regained my position after a long court case. It is simply not worth it. Separate your work life from your personal life. Besides, you need to do this anyway. You need to get away from the workplace when you go home. She fortunately eventually got another job, but it was terribly uncomfortable having to see her everyday. I will never date anyone I even ASSOCIATE with at work. It’s a dumb idea that can lead to unfair lead judgments. I won my case because she was just pissed at me just like I was pissed at her. The only difference is that I did not sue.

Reply September 19, 2020, 11:51 am


I like this guy in my junior class I did everything possible to get him and it worked but the way he is behaving never seems he liked me but he told me he liked me but one day I put courage and asked him he said he don’t how can I get him back

Reply April 7, 2020, 1:47 pm


Hello I was dating this guy for about a year everything was great we had did have some bad times but we got through them at least I thought! So in September of 2019 he broke it off we with me but still wanted to be apart of the kids life even through my kids are not biologically his so I said no cause I could bear the fact of seeing him fast forward in October fo 2019 he decided to pop up and see the boys and we spoke so I asked are him proceeds to ask him about our relationship he says this and that and in my mind I did everything possible to keep this man happy everything I only asked for simple things that I thought he would be able to do such as we only saw each other once a week and we were not even intimate to say we were together. So he left 3months later he’s calling my phone at 3 in am in feelings but I don’t give in ignore him he takes it upon himself and calls my best friend acting like he missed the boys, so that night he called me wanting to come over i said yes WHY did i do that thinking we had something but it was only for one night cause after that I didn’t hear from him till maybe around Christmas night once he got in his feelings again in my mind I’m not gonna chase you you said that we Were done and I thought just that does he keep continue contacting me if we done and yea I shouldn’t respond but out of respect for my kids I do and he acts like I broke it off with him i did not he did I’m the one who suffers in the process i need answers I’m still in love with him yes and I guess I’m not ready to let him go but I know I have to because he’s already seeing another woman. If you loved me the way you did why is it so say easy to move on from what we had.

Reply January 15, 2020, 7:18 am


Hey. I’d really like some insight, I’d greatly appreciated. ☆
I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for a year.
He called me daily, we talked about everything and anything. We would hang out almost every weekend. For a whole year..!
And then, he disappears.
Before he does, we had an argue. He kept saying that I never showered him with enough attention or appreciation, even though I called him days before but he never answered.
I admite I wasnt the perfect lover, I would sometimes sleep whilst chatting with him. Ignore how his calls, and act busy.
But I always apologized after doing so. I love him so much, but sometimes I needed my personal space. And I wrongly thought that the more “fly” I act, the more he desires me. But thats just ridiculous.
I love him and I think he knows. I mean..why would we be in a relationship for a whole year if it was just a one side story?

I truly love him. And I’m so hurt.
He decided that he wants to stay away from me. Our families are friends. My mom talked to his mother and his mother said the same words he told me! That I never showed him appreciation and that she actually told him to stop talking to me.
And he did!
I’m so hurt and confused.
It’s been almost 2 months now..
That never ever happened before.

Do you think that he never loved me? Do you think I should just forget him forever?
What do I do?
Please help.

Reply December 27, 2019, 6:02 pm


Sounds to me like you both have different love languages and don’t understand each others he thinks judging by how you act you don’t care but you do so some type of talk need to be had here other than that they could be just playing games ?

Reply April 20, 2023, 5:01 pm


Thank you Eric you just saved me from making another mistake you showed me what to look for so if I’ve got a crush on a guy he doesn’t feel the same way I do I now know how to end the friendship immediately I’ve done it a thousand times before and I’m not afraid to do it again you know I’m very happy that I learned how to avoid the friend zone too man I actually learned something from this article thank you once again Eric you confirmed that I did the right thing ending the friendship with Dominic well I had a crush on him and he was a horrible friend so yup pretty much that situation was a mess and needed to end forever and it did now I’m doing better and have met a new friend that’s even better then Dominic is and I would never be friends with a guy that told me about the girls he likes or is dating that’s not really what a friend is for at least not friends that are girls when Dominic did that I never listened to a word he was saying

Reply March 11, 2019, 5:06 pm


i like this guy in english class (never spoken with him) and i told my friends about it. one of them yelled it out at him (telling him i like him) and the other went up to him to talk even after strictly telling them to not interfere, he then told them that he might talk to me and when i heard this i was kinda happy and mad at them but now im just mad because he hasn’t spoken to me at all and i blame them for it.
also i feel like he feels like he’s being forced into a relationship(maybe) when really all i wanted was to befriend him first and then see how it goes instead going head first into him knowing i like him, overall i feel like my chance with him is messed up.should i go up to him to talk instead and if so what would i say? please help.

Reply February 28, 2019, 12:44 am


I think I gave messed up big time …

We moved into an open plan building at work last Oct. I have had a crush on one guy in a different area (but who sits a wee bit back behind me). He has been staring at me often. Since we moved in. I initially caught him at a morning tea from across the small room.
He then started talking to me 2 weeks ago. We really hit it off and got on very well. He talked about stuff that I was interested in and he remembered stuff that he coukdnt have possibly rembered.
We just got on Even in a conversation last week with some else in the corridor. He looked up and stared at me eye to eye.
I asked him last week if he would like to meet for coffee he looked at me with a definite yes and raised his eyebrows.
This guy is very quiet and shy.
I touched him on he arm last week. He never flinched.
He always says hi and looks to the ground.
Last night I went up to him at his desk after work and said if He wanted we could meet for coffee on th weekend. He said he couldn’t as he was going away. So i mentioned thurs or fri after work. He said that thurs he had to finalise something for work and Fri he was leaving to go away. So I left him. Then I went back to him and said that i needed to apologise as I had a crush on him. He then said it wasn’t both ways…but he was very cold and not even the same guy. It was like I had raised something that he couldn’t deal with.
Interesting…as I would never even mentioned coffee if I wasn’t getting the look…
So I am back at work this morning. He is quiet like normal. We haven’t spoken. Now I am confused.
Is he or is uninterested.
If so can the damage be repaired ?
Thanks for your advice

Reply March 6, 2018, 6:38 pm


I am in 9th grade. I have a crush on a newbie in our tuitions he is very cute and innocent and bit of stupid he and I have become frnds but I think I like him just more than that I have a different liking. After our tuition left today I told my bestie in tuition that I want to ask him if he has a crush on someone or a girlfriend. My bestie knew that I liked him and she told me to approach him but I wasnt confident. I somehow managed to ask him and he told that he has 10 crush but never had a girlfriend. Pls help me what should I do ?

Reply June 24, 2017, 7:35 am


Help! I am receiving mixed signals from a certain guy. He constantly flirts with me and shows nearly every sign of being interested in me. However, he never makes it clear whether he is comfortable with me because he sees me as a sister or a friend, or as a lover. He talks about other females appearances constantly but never talks about if he’s actually interested in them. I’ve read nearly every article there is and I still have no idea how he really thinks about me.

Reply June 24, 2017, 12:10 am


Refusing to have sex with me? Calling me a dog in heat? Is he getting it from someone else or is he not attracted to me anymore? He did stay out till four in the morning so he says talking to his friend about football in the Walmart parking lot even though it was 20 degrees outside 5 pm to 4 am what do you think? I think you can’t talk about football that long you just can’t

Reply April 21, 2017, 12:01 am


He does not respect you and you don’t demand it. Women put women emotions into men. They are simple…he is telling you he is not interested without flat out telling you. He will be cruel eventually to get you to just go away. And why would you want to be with a man that is making you guess? Rip that rug out from under him and get under someone deserving.

Reply May 16, 2017, 11:01 pm


Thank you for letting me know what kind of guy to avoid even as a friend that’s pretty much the only thing I learned here is how to avoid being friends with guys that I like that act like this so thank you Joey I appreciate it a lot

Reply March 26, 2017, 5:02 pm


Plz advise me. There is a guy who flirted with me but at same time told my friend that i am mean n when i confronted him he said ha didn’t meant it. Ehat shoul I do?

Reply March 25, 2017, 11:54 am


I really don’t know what to do. Ive been dating my boyfriend for almost 8 months and for the past 7, they’ve been some of the happiest months of my life. We both go to different high schools and we’re both young but we have a pretty serious relationship. We use to talk before but we ended up stopping and I had another relationship but as soon as that one ended, a month later he starts talking to me again and everything’s fine. We talk and see each other for about 2 months and then he finally asks me out. I say yes of course and we’ve been extremely happy ever since. Until a few weeks ago. His grades were really dropping and he was faced with the fact that he could fail if he doesn’t bring his grades up soon. So he started focusing more in school and has refrained from texting me as much. We used to text all day long and then at night he would call me and talk until I got too tired to stay awake. I understood maybe just not texting AS much, but it’s gotten to the point to where he never texts me at school at all. He’s also a part of hisschool’s football team. I love that he plays how passionate he is about it. But now that that has started up, he’s been even more distant. School ends at 3pm then practice is from 4-6 and he doesn’t get home until around 7. Then he usually eats dinner, takes a shower, and then it’s around 9pm. During this whole day, all I get is a “good morning baby” around 7am and then I’ll respond and try to start a conversation, hoping that he’ll text me throughout the day. But by the 3-4th text in the conversation, he leaves me on delivered and doesn’t answer until around 7-9pm. So I hope to call him but he usually ends up falling asleep before I even have the chance to. I talk to him about his change in texting and he just says he wants to focus more on school.. which completely understand. But now he’s been becoming really rude and acting as If it really doesn’t matter if I exist at all really. So I confront him and then all I get back is a “hm”. That’s it. No answers or anything. I only get to see him on weekends so I try to plan ahead to make sure everything goes well and I get to see him that weekend. I ask him to ask his parents if it’s okay for me to come over but he doesn’t ask until the last minute. After I’ve been asking for 4-5 days. I see him in person and he treats me great and like everything Is completely wonderful. Then the week starts again and he starts doing the same stuff again. His not texting back has gotten so bad that I can literally count the amount of texts he’s sent me today on 1 hand. So I call him tonight and he’s talking to me but I can hear his phone keep vibrating as he’s talking. He explains it’s some girl he’s friends with. No big deal right? But literally as soon as he gets a text, he tells me to hold on so he can go text her back. But he can go hours and hours without texting me back? Even when I KNOW he’s not busy, he still takes at least an hour to respond. But he texts her back in a matter of seconds. I try to express how that makes me feel but it just pisses him off and he tells me he’s tired and wants to get some rest. I tell him goodnight but he doesn’t even respond as I’m talking to him on the phone. Silence. So I wait a little and call his name. No answer. So i hang up. I haven’t gotten an actual “goodnight” In weeks. I’m always the one that has to say “I love you” first. Or “I miss you”. He just seems so distant and rude and like he really just doesn’t care at all. He tells me that I’m important to him and he loves never and cares but then turns right back around and will literally tell me “I really just don’t care, just being honest, I mean what am I supposed to do” when I tell him something such as how I’m really not feeling good. All these rude comments and when I get excited over something he kinda is just like “oh that’s good” no enthusiasm. I could go on and on but the point is, I’m completely stuck and don’t know what to do. I love him to death but he doesn’t understand how much his words hurt sometimes. He won’t listen. If I could, I would love some advice on all this because I’m basically stuck between a rock and a hard place. Any suggestions would be fine, and I thank you so much for sparing your time to read and/or respond to this. Thank you.

Reply March 23, 2017, 11:11 pm


So theirs two possibly explanations here he’s focusing the energy he once had on you now on school which personally I think is good because his future is important and you should care more about this aswell , he could possibly show all the love and attention he use to once the exams end, but yes he should still acknowledge you more and make you feel secure in the relationship, I would try to arrange a proper date , invite him out on the weekend
for a small amount of time and clarify things
Alternatively, on the bad side he could be focusing more on school and now sadly someone else leaving little time to interact with you which I feel if is the case you’ll know sooner or later anyway
You’ll know for sure by either talking properly about it or waiting for the exams to finish – if he goes back to how he was then you know he was just focusing on school and needed to hold back in order to succeed but if he’s still distant it’s most likely someone else has come in the picture and you should move on x

Reply April 20, 2023, 5:10 pm


In the realm of too popular articles. Noone will ever read this here ;)

Reply March 2, 2017, 1:01 pm

Elizabeth Ward

Your preface to listening to your video is way too long. What nonsense.

Reply February 24, 2017, 11:51 am


I got a mutual match on tinder from a guy I’d met briefly in real life. I was looking for casual because I have too much goi on in my life but liked this guy. He suggested calling round and I figured i felt safe with him and he suggested we might talk about some political topic (we have common interests and values). He came round said a bit later it was obvious as soon as he walked through the door that we liked each other. We talked a bit we’ve both had recent tragedies and it seems he has a lot going on too but suggested maybe our daughter’s could hang out. But he soon made moves and because I’m naughty and weak willed I suggested we went upstairs and we had sex three times. I gave him my phone number when he left. I foolishly messaged him on tinder and he said ‘maybe in a few weeks’. Is there a chance he’s just too busy and preoccupied? He has work to do on his house and a daughter he cares for half the time and he works. He’s also recently stopped drinking heavily following the tragedy he experienced (whereas I’m still having half a bottle of wine every night). I can do casual but it’s difficult when the person seems the sort that in other circumstances you’d like to have a relationship with. I realise I’ve done this all wrong.

Reply January 17, 2017, 4:31 am


A guy from my last school texted me on Facebook about a year after I had left that school. But we never talked to each other while we were in school, we used to travel by the same school bus but never even said a hi. Then I started talking to him and he kind of started to flirt and eventually I fell for him but due to some reasons we stopped talking for a few months. Then after 2-3 months we started to talk again had some video chats….flirted…I thought he likes me as he gave mixed signals but one day he said that I am a friend and added that he has a girlfriend….Was he playing with my feelings or why did he do so?

Reply January 9, 2017, 2:03 am


I made a check-list for one guy and he scored 2:
– he is friendly in general
– he ignores you, disrespects you etc.

I guess he does likes me then, but has some serious problem with me. What he is doing recently is similar to stonewalling, sometimes putting down my values… quite passive-aggressive.

Not sure what he’s problem is… We’ve been very flirtatious, I believe we both developped serious crushes on each other, but then I found out that he has a gf. So I decided to withdraw, but was trying to remain friendly (we work together). And now he seems to be punishing me for my withdrawal…? I don’t know really…

I think it’s me who should be angry at him (he’s been hitting on me and hiding that he has a gf), but I was trying to be understanding and mature. And now he is angry at me.

Reply December 4, 2016, 11:52 pm


So there was this guy… He seemed to like me but work got super crazy and chaotic and so he hasn’t been able to see me in a while. So we have mostly kept in in contact via texting for a while. Anyway he randomly stopped texting me in the middle of sexting not quite two weeks ago and I have not been able to elicit any response from him since, granted I have not been trying to message him everyday, in fact I haven’t even tried the last four days. Anyway I just found it very odd and abrupt especially since he was the one to initiate the conversation almost two weeks ago by saying he missed me. I’m just very disoriented by this whole thing and any insight would be totally appreciated. Like what does it mean? Should I make a couple more efforts, if so what should I say/do? I mean I really liked this individual, and the way he just stopped messaging me is very confusing and a little disconcerting.

Reply November 30, 2016, 12:53 am


Okay, so I’ve been dating this guy for almost two years now. At first it was nice, we went on dates, ge was just so warm and down to earth. I was the first woman he’s introduced to his family, and the first to really have a real relationship with. After time he began to work more, we fought daily and he wouldn’t really want to make time for me, he’d always tell me “you’re not happy unless your spending money!” not true id like to sit in the park just simple things. Of course it was not of his interest. Valentine’s day we argued, even on my birthday he didn’t make me feel special. He always justified his side by naming things that were expected like taking to and from work/ other places when needed. Or he’d occasionally buy me things and thought that made him great. I wanted his time, if we weren’t watching movies or just being in the house we did nothing to really build outside of that. (Btw we lived together). He grew to become disrespectful, I noticed I developed great relationships with his family and we would actually foe more things spending time together than me and him or he has with my family. He’d often time blame me for everything that was going wrong. Grew insecure we fought because believed he had to be seeking attention/ affection from another woman or women. We broke up for about a month having a huge fight because he was fed up with my lack of trust. So he then put me out his apartment. He then immediately seen other women, then I stopped communicating with him. Then he came pleading and was serious about getting together. I noticed a change and thought it was sincere but when time went on I was more passive and he was more aggressive, disrespectful, and unsure. Every other week we’ll argue he will force me to leave the apartment then try to get me to come back in a couple days. I just ended the cycle and stoppeed communication with him. I was just confused because he would provide no problem, would act like he loved me but it was conditional to how well we were doing.

Reply November 25, 2016, 4:09 pm


I sent my crush a email saying ”If i hugged you what would you do”. He said shut up. The next morning i said it was just a dare trust me i didn’t want to say it but i had to. He hasn’t texted me back yet. He saw my message and deleted it.

Reply November 19, 2016, 8:32 pm

Winter Whipple

Ok so me n my man have been together for 5 yrs. We just spent 11 months in jail because his family made lies. He said it will make us stronger and that he misses me and loves me and it killed him to see me get pulled into it. He said he lost his friend and that he will always love me. But sense we got out were both on strict orders of no contact. But he wont even tell me he loves me anymore or barely texts me. He says he cares but why wont he tell me he loves me. After everything he told me in jail. He said he dont want to get us introuble but y wont he say he loves me. I feel like he just dont care. What should i do.

Reply November 2, 2016, 2:08 am


So I’m in 9th grade at an all girls school and there’s this guy I met at one of the football games who goes to an all guys school. So we’ve been texting each other about every day for at least 2 1/2 hours a day for the past month or so. And for the past 4-5 fridays we see each other at football games and we hang out a bit. When it’s just us two it’s awkard, when I’m with his friends it’s awkard but not as awkard but when I’m with my friends it’s not awkard for me because I’m comfortable and I’m not as nervous. He’s been making most of the effort to talk to me at the games when I’m in a group of friends, even though he hates one of them, and stands closer to me. But at last weeks game when him and his friends were sitting in a straight line in the bleachers with them leaning back on each other or something his foot was right next to my hand and he kept tapping or playfully pushing it so I did it back. And also at that game I was having a one on one convo with one of my friends and he was talking in a group of his friends and my friends. He comes over and sits next to me and all 3 of us started talking. And my friend kept saying some embarrassing stuff about me while we were talking. But of course, he didn’t seem to mind from the looks of it because he probably just got to know me better. But he only texted me once after that but we talked until about 1:00 am. And the other day I think one of his friends took his phone because he started the conversation differently and then later it seemed like it was him but he ended it about 10 minutes in. He hasn’t texted me in about 2 days now and I can’t tell if he’s loosing interest or if I’m just paranoid?? And on top of it we aren’t officially dating or anything and he even asked if we were dating and I put I guess and he put you guess and then I put yeah so that really confused me. Also today on one of his friends(girl) Snapchat story had something if him and I got really confused even more because he that’s he’s best friends gf. Idk what’s going on right now or he’s been waiting for me to text first or something.

Reply October 27, 2016, 2:26 am


Oh and also he’s seen my past Snapchat stories and he usually asks about them but he hasn’t so but yet the other day he started a snap streak with me…..

Reply October 27, 2016, 2:32 am


This is bit of a tricky situation. usually I don’t have a problem with knowing if a guy Is attracted to me. But 3 months ago we got A new Co manager. I’m a department head but obviously we’re not on the same level. His first week there rumors were already started about us. We hit it off instantly. We went out after work once and it was within that first week. We haven’t been out again. I’ve tried. But he’ll either say he’s tired or I took to long to respond back. I’m assuming he’s lying haha. But he still seems very interested when we see each other. We talk until 3 in the morning. Not something you do with someone who’s just an employee, right? He’s let me off the hook for my tardies… I can’t ever make it anywhere on time. Lol. But lately it seems different. I feel as if he is constantly poking at me. Telling me to do things that are completely outside my department. And he will keep coming back and telling me to do these things. I won’t. And yes I understand he has to make things not look obvious which in the beginning was fine. But he clearly sees the things he’s asking me now is pissing me off. I just don’t get it at all. Idk if it’s because he’s my boss. He’s weird. He’s not like guys I normally go for. He’s kinda shy but I wouldn’t say too shy. I’m very blunt and will say what’s on my mind. Some things I have said makes him uncomfortable and he won’t know how to respond back. Which I find hilarious. But he’s never actually told me that he likes me or he’s attracted or anything. And usually I am always the one to start a convo through text. But at work its him. He always finds a reason to be in my department but then there’s times he just ignores me? Could it be his age? I’ve never never never dated someone younger… he’s 21 fresh out of college and I’m 24. Should I just work up the balls and ask him myself like what the hell is going on with us?

Reply October 27, 2016, 1:27 am


He’s one of my close friends. I hangout with his family and we always do things together and then there will be times when he doesn’t answer calls or will just be distant. There are things he does that makes me think he has feelings for me but that could be because he cares about me. The way he looks right into my eyes and holds a gaze makes my heart go crazy. But then he will always try to pursue other woman. We are so happy together but its always very hot or very cold. I wish i could understand what this is. This has been going on for three years and he’s always had these short term girlfriends that he meets at his gym or the club. Its like he doesn’t want to stay single. There was time when he completely ignored me and my existence. Sometimes when we went out with our mutual friends, he would ignore me completely. I did the same. Couldn’t keep up with his phase. It was so bad, it affected me a lot. We never spoke about it. I let it go and we fell back into place as if nothing had changed or happened. I can’t move on because I know in my heart that what we have is as real as it can get. But i don’t know why he isn’t pursuing this. I’m always there for him and he acts like a complete asshole sometimes. Its so sad and confusing :(

Reply October 21, 2016, 2:58 am


Can a guy said “I love you too” 3 days ago ignore me (totally no sound no picture) for a few days?

Reply October 17, 2016, 10:50 pm


Yes men behave like that sometimes. They don’t know what to do and i feel that sometimes they don’t understand what their words or action could mean to someone. Just give him some space. he should come around if he meant what he said.

Reply October 21, 2016, 3:03 am


I’m in high school and I like this guy that is two grades above me. He always looks at me and makes eye contact with me. Also looks at me after doing something funny. But he said he’s not interested but I just can’t believe him from Thai behaviour. Also he got annoyed when I was talking to his friend earlier. Is he just keeping it a secret or is he really not interested?!?!?!

Reply October 4, 2016, 9:43 am

Emma Obrien

I’m in highschool and basically I like this guy who’s really sweet and we play the same sports and we have hung out alone once. He’s really nice out of school but in school I’m not that popular so he doesn’t talk to me as much and when I say to him let’s hang out or do something he doesn’t want anyone to know.

Reply September 14, 2016, 10:03 pm



I was online dating. Came across this really cute guy adn thought id send him a message – we instantly hit it off. Mind you this was all quick the process of whatever happened. The Sunday we started talking, tuesday we decided to meet. He picked me up with his sister/boyfriend. I didnt mind and he told me. It was a lot of fun and we had so much chemistry. He even said he really liked our time and that he cant believe how much he is into me. The next day he wanted to see me. He came over and we watched a movie … we had sex. but I just felt right. The next mornign he had to go to the hospital so I asked if he wanted me to come by. he said it was okay but if I wanted to then he would love for me to. So i started to head that way. He sent me a message saying all was good but it meant so much I did so. That evening I asked said to him i know things are moving faster but are you liking where things ar eheaded. He responded saying 100% and that he wouldnt lead me on. The next day he was going to come to my baseball game. But messaged that he couldnt do to low on gas and no money – he had his wallet stolen. I offered to come his way after my game and let him borrow some money – 80 bucks to be excat – yes, Fool move. Well anyways he was so thankful and said he would love to see me later and his sister wanted to do somethig. I said of course. The time rolls around and he said he is waiting on his sister. 2 hours later nothing and this point its 1130. I write hin saying it would have been nice hearing from you especailly after today tbh. Night” He didnt write me. The next morning he ignored what I said and said “goodmorning”. I respond back and he asks how I am. I said good. you and he said good to. We started talking about baseball. Around 5:30 pm I said to him I have to let him know how it bothered me that he just left me hanging all evening without even a word. he wrote back right away saying he understands and he will explain when he gets home (his cell phone was at work so he only cold connect to wifi”) I say ok. 12 hours goes by. its 9am. I see him online…nothing. I wait another 3 hours and I decide to write him and just say “Just drop off the money in my mail box or e-transfer it” He was online all day without a response to me. I wrote him and said he wasnt even worth it and blocked him’. The reason I reacted that way was because i went on the discovery on instagram and saw a girls photo pop up. He commented on it that morning saying “beautiful”. Did I handle this right? I am so sick of dating.

Reply September 12, 2016, 3:07 pm


Hi I’m in high school and I like this guy but I don’t know if he likes me back. Recently he’s been talking to me a little bit over snapchat, and he poked me on Facebook too randomly. About a month or so ago, I kept asking him who he liked because we were just good friends and he told me who he liked. But after I found out that girl liked someone else so I told him that. I guess I just don’t know how to talk to him more and be close. I have a class with him at school but his friends are always surrounding him. But sometimes I feel like he likes me because of his behaviors but sometimes I think that’s just what he does with every girl.

Reply August 23, 2016, 9:13 am


Hi, I need help on figuring out if a guy is into me or I’m overthinking things (Im a girl). For starters, theres a guy renting in the same house I am renting so i guess you could say we’re sort of roommates. We just met not to long ago and he’s the type who can be funny and out going but when we hang around the house, he’s mainly into his homework and most of the time silent. He’s very academically focused and because I notice he’s working and trying to concentrate i don’t try to push for conversation. We share the same test in music and if I start humming to a song he will begin singing to it or when he has his headphones plugged in he keeps one earbud in and the other out. I feel like sometimes hes glancing at my direction but I can’t tell if he’s staring or just thinking about things to write on his homework. There are times when he smiles when I catch him staring or does some sort of silly face. Our conversations our short and brief but other times he will tell me about the things he dreams of and how his day has gone. He’s invited me to the movies and to the the gym with him and has taken time out of his day to introduce me to things he likes that I have never heard of. He did once mention about a date he went on and how he would go on it again because there was no spark. When we come out of class he has missed his bus to accompany me while I wait for my bus and he has also considered doing things that I like even though he doesn’t like them or is really bad at it (like dancing). He jokes around with me sometimes especially before he goes to bed by calling me a nickname and stuff .There are also times when I ask him something and I feel like I’m getting a cold shoulder. Help me, I don’t know if he likes me or if he doesn’t, or if he does but he’s trying to keep a distance because we live together and wouldn’t want drama in the house.

Reply August 8, 2016, 4:55 am


Actually a guy ws back on me for one yr n it ws lik we were frnds n he helped me in lot of situations and then i fell for him n i proposed him n we were in relationships for 3 months everything was good bt sudden off he said he wanted to break up with me n i ws lik no n i begged him to pitch up with me bt he ws lik no i want to get settled in my life n he gave back the things which i gave him and even i gave d things which he gave me n its been 2 yrs i cant move on its lik i want to knw whether he still feel for me or has he moved on ….and couple of weeks ago i read d conversations of mine n him it ws lik i had been so rude n mean to him so i feel lik asking sorry for tat bt shld i ask him sorry because i dont txt him n i dont want to disturb him because he asked me not to disturb him but i really want to ask sry and am so confused i dono wat to do plz help me out

Reply August 5, 2016, 11:49 am


There’s this coworker I have never been able to figure out, we exchanged numbers from the first time we met because he offered that I could text him anytime I needed work related help, but he has never texted me on his own. I have caught him staring at me, praising little things I do to others, he sometimes goes beyond to do little things for me even complimenting me on my looks casually but sometimes he would just ignore me completely. I always have to start conversations with him online, and he takes forever replying back and keep the conversation going but if I need something he makes time for me. He starts conversations in person when we are together, shares personal details but he disappears sometimes and then shows up again when I think I’m bugging him and start keeping my distance. I am not sure if he really likes me , he hasn’t said anything and I have never been invited by him to hang out during breaks or afterwork. I tried showing that I like him by doing subtle little things like giving him a b day gift, helping him out with work when he’s busy. I do feel we have chemistry and a lot in common but it’s hard to know what he thinks of me.

Reply July 30, 2016, 1:12 am


this guy wasmy neighbor two years ago and he says we dated then although I don’t remember it happening and he said we broke up because it was too awkward because we were friends then he moved to another state and we can only text how would I ask if he still likes me and if he wants to start a long distance relationship?

Reply July 17, 2016, 1:52 am


Dear Emma: It sounds like you don’t even remember dating this guy. And if he’s pretending you dated when you didn’t, that’s kind of weird. Also, if you actually did date, it was apparently too awkward. Now he’s in another state. Everything about this situation tells me it’s just not a good idea to date him. For one, long distance often doesn’t work out. For another, a relationship solely based on texting will almost never work. Also, this guy seems to be a little nuts. It’d be better to just remain whatever you are now… friends? Exes? I’m a bit confused. In fact, maybe just don’t talk to him at all.

Reply July 18, 2016, 8:43 pm


I need help i have a guy friend wean we were little we were best friends and know he’s 14 and I’m 13 he does not talk to me not even a hello or eny thing what do I do

Reply July 3, 2016, 4:16 am


Dear Dayan: It sounds like you’re in that time when some guys ditch their friends that are girls because it’s not “cool” to hang around them now. Or it could be he has feelings for you and doesn’t want to talk to you because it would be too awkward for him. But don’t immediately assume that. The thing is, boy-girl friendships get more common later on. Just be casual around him and don’t text or call him endlessly. Either he’ll snap out of it, or you’ll realize despite being friends with him for a long time…he might not be the kind of friend you want if he’s willing to ditch you.

Reply July 18, 2016, 8:49 pm


i have been with the guy past 2 years as friend i never think to foll for him or to have anything than normal with him recently i start to look him differently and when i told him how i feel about it he told me that he don’t want to discus anything about it,, and we shall continue the way were, nothing more. what is that mean?

Reply May 22, 2016, 9:25 am


Dear Princess: From what you said, it kind of sounds like the guy panicked and didn’t even want to talk about being more than friends. But if he says he just wants a platonic friendship, you should believe him. Don’t think too much of it, and don’t try to read between the lines or figure out what he “really” meant. He’s obviously just not comfortable with the idea of a relationship with you, and you shouldn’t try to change his mind. I’m sorry! Hope you find someone else :)

Reply July 18, 2016, 8:52 pm


Can you give a little more information?

Reply May 11, 2016, 9:57 am


Tania – Unless he has proven himself time and time again that he is a really good man, worthy of your affections, then you SHOULD be ‘aware’ of certain aspects of men’s behaviors. There is nothing wrong with awareness, which is knowledge, and knowledge sometimes hurt and makes you mad, BUT it’s power, and power is a good thing when used in the right context.

P.S. You’re right, no one is perfect. BUT don’t let his imperfections distort the BEST of you. If that’s happening then you SHOULD be worried, but if you’re comfortable within yourself and not getting lost in him, then you’re fine. Just my opinion.

Reply May 11, 2016, 9:43 am


Right! Just pay the man and move on.

Reply May 11, 2016, 9:20 am


Joe – I think it would be a mistake to pursue this guy after he has already told you that he doesn’t like you romantically. I think you would be putting yourself at a disadvantage, perhaps to be used by him, because people will sometimes take the liberty to use the other person, when that person is displaying too much of a need for their affections, therefore, they will use your neediness against you, to benefit themselves…if you get what I mean? But not only that; you shouldn’t surrender your dignity to an unworthy cause. Just my opinion tho. :-\

Reply May 11, 2016, 8:50 am


Leanne – I think you should tell him if he wants to continue dating you, he needs to show a little more interest. Tell him you are not accustomed to dating a person who puts so much space between contacts. If he needs that much time between contacts, then you’re not the one.

FYI: Stand by what you say. Good Luck :-)

Reply May 11, 2016, 8:30 am


This page has helped me loose my mind am always thinking the worst about my man…Anyway we are not all saints lol buh ey say wen a woman loves she loves for real

Reply May 10, 2016, 6:17 pm


Hello I have not found on search any of the following ways of a boys not interested iI she works in a fast food restaurant .So here goes what I do right now.Sit with back to her While waiting to collect order stands looking every where else A common problem while her friends working in restaurant they try to look at your phone-but I have nothing to hide.- Just ask to look! Girl interested says see you later but NO reply from me! This is certainly a Not Interested in you. She should have put not in with meal, asked a brave friend or why not ask in person I don`t bite & 99.9% would say YES. Certainly not interested in making conversation at any time. When leaving never look at her. If by bad luck she walking near you then blank her. I thought the girls were the clever ones? I`m a head of you. I may have had love at first & smiled lots plus me getting really hot for a couple weeks but interested no longer. Don`t forget looks are not everything for me. But how do you now you really want me? So you & some of you friends may get the hump but it won`t change my decision & very rarely regret not being interested now of in the future. This is the Richard Rules of Not Interested In You. . Come on girls why can`t you tell if a boy`s interested? My Personal way of sorting this problem. Ok she tries to get me interested for an unknow time but won`t change mind. Richard Norwich.

Reply May 10, 2016, 7:26 am


So my daughters dad n i have been together for 8 yrs.
I recently caught him cheating.
He ignored me for weeks n chose ger over me.
Now he is back around 75% of the time.

He still sees her i know and but still he comes back to me. We are foolong around everynight and he brings me to climax everyway but when i ask him to have intercourse he makes lame excuses and tells me im ruining everything. He always wanted me before her for last 8 years. So what is his deal he will do everything else but intercourse Why????

Reply April 1, 2016, 4:10 pm


Dear Cyndi: I don’t even think doing ANYTHING sexual with the guy who cheated on you is a good idea. He went and had sex with some other woman, and you let him back in your bed? That tells him it’s okay to disrespect you. And he can do whatever he wants and still get off with you! It may be that having sex with you doesn’t excite him. It may be that he’s still doing it with someone else–maybe even the same woman he cheated on you with! It doesn’t really matter what the reason for it is. All you need to know is he needs to get out–now. It doesn’t sound like he lives in your house, so put your clothes back on and tell him to leave. You owe it to yourself–and your daughter–to dump the cheater.

Reply July 18, 2016, 8:58 pm


There’s this guy
We had two classes together and in both classes he used to stare a lot like a lot
And before I liked him his FREIND would stare at me a lot too
After that we started to lock our eyes to gather and I would look away blushing
He was really into what grades I was getting and would show off if his grades were good
After a few days the teacher made me sit beside his FREIND
And he would usually come to visit his FREIND and he would touch me a lot by accident
After our classes ended we barely see each other
But whenever we do we always lock eyes still
Idk if he likes me or if I’m thinking too much but he’s really cute and smart any girl would fall for him

Reply March 16, 2016, 3:25 am


I like this guy from day one of new job. He was my co-trainer. Every time he used to be subtle, nice, gentle, helpful for all of my batch mates which made me fall in love with him. He was behaving weird with just me like fighting for silly reason n not speaking for months however with others he was not. The more he started avoiding or not speaking the more my mind started giving space to him . each time we fight I was the person asking for forgiveness n requesting to speak. Even after multiple texts too no response which totally made me think non stop about him coz I haven’t been ignored by anyone to such extent. I have cried many nights thinking about him n his behaviour. He is always away from gals however for few days close to me. He was staring on n on in the workplace(after d training period), speaking loud to othersseekibg attention of mine which all made me go more crazy….one day I said him that I like him….in turn he said “m sorry I m already committed” I didn’t know what to respond at that moment as the proposal happened in text(coz when I see him my mind goes blank n scared to speak to him directly)…he now moved to different process/program within same company after this incident. I m not feeling like going to office or work in an environment where he doesn’t exist…i am 100? sure that he i s not engaged n is still alone…..m regretting for proposing ….I don’t know wt to do to make him to have feelings for me…….I truly love him badly….wondering y don’t he understand my feelings n make me think abt him…………

Reply March 9, 2016, 10:33 pm


I’ve been casually dating a guy for a few months. He said he’d text me a couple of weeks ago and never did. He left me hanging with no explanation. I am crazy about this guy and want to continue dating him but maybe he has lost interest? If I see him again, and he asks how I am, should I lie and tell him I’m doing well, or should I tell him the truth and tell him I miss him?

Reply March 7, 2016, 7:21 pm


What if I see him everyday like I have classes with him and I keep on talking to him like nothing happened.He used to like me but he lost feelings for me but he still single.I don’t know what to do about this because it just mess with my mind not my emotions.I still kinda like him but the other half me like him as friend as well as he dose.Since i found out he didn’t like me, my friends still see us flirting each other and talking like we did before I even know about his feelings.I find this hard but i don’t know if I need a break from me or everyone else who near him.

Reply March 7, 2016, 7:05 pm


i like this guy and basically i told him and he said he likes me as a friend……now he keeps acting weird with me and he keeps on hinting about the me liking him thing.i really like him i just need your help on how to make him like me back

Reply March 6, 2016, 5:41 pm


Okay, so there is this guy that was in the same class with me last year. I liked him alot. I had a friend and I trusted her fully. She asked who I liked and in return she told me who she liked. After while she started being mean towards me. And then in class about a month later my bff for life told me some news that I didnt want to hear. That the so called friend that I trusted fully was now dating my crush. At this point EVERYBODY knew I liked him including him. When I was around him he was nice and super goofy… alot weirder than normal for him… and would laugh at my corniest jokes. This year we dont talk but sometimes I look over at the lunch table he sits at and he is staring. This may be a coincidence but do you think so? Also if it isnt just a coincidence then how do I walk up to him and talk without being totally awkward in every way possible? If ANYONE reads this then can you please reply to me?

Reply March 2, 2016, 8:14 pm


hey i have just read this and omg your so called friend is an idiot but listen if he knows you like him and still doesnt make a move talk to him… tell him your feelings and if it doesnt work u know u tried and to be honest he is an idiot for not talking to u

Reply March 6, 2016, 5:46 pm


So I met this guy we were really good friends then the next year we met a girl he told me he likes her and I should set them up I’m like ok sure…. The thing is when I met him he always flirt with me I didn’t pay attention to him because I just saw him as a player. I also didn’t believe that he likes me. So I would always push him away. But we were always close like we would tell each other every abd just be completely honest with each other. At the moment when I introduced him to the girl I didn’t like him that much until I noticed that he’s not a bad person in a relationship he would continue to tell me everything until his new girlfriend got mad and thought that we were doing something…
He told me what she would say about not wanting him around me but he would still come.. We were always with each other…. Now I fell in love with him and I asked him if he likes me and he says he always had but it wouldn’t work now because of the girl. Woth all that we still had sex and continued to have sex but it’s like whenever they are going through something and I have sex with him I feel hurt because he starts treating her good..( most times he don’t treat her good because of how she is) . But now I feel like I lost my friend because we are not that close anymore and I don’t know what he’s thinking but I love him and he knows but I don’t know how he feels about me.

Reply February 19, 2016, 1:43 pm


So basically there’s a boy that I have known for years and we have always been close like best friends close maybe for like 6 years now and o have always had a crush on him.Never felt anything for anybody else.Never loved anybody else but in Year 9 now which is 14 15 16 is ages and his mum and my mum have always been really good friends so we’d always go to visit them and they’d visit us all the time.Hes always been the kind of popular one in a sense.Now here’s where it get interesting.over the period of the last 5 or 6 months things have gotten heated.about five months ago he came around to my house while my mum and his mum are downstairs we go to my room to watch a film we normally do this anyway so no biigie. And when we layed down on my bed I noticed that he’d if his arm under and around my waist and then he pulled me closer.We stayed like that for the rest of the film.During the week he came over same thing his arm under and around my waist but he started playing with my hair. A little later on in the week we started watching another film this time he wrapped his arm under and around my waist and held my hand and my neck was exposed and I felt him gently kiss it it felt really good so I just let him do his thing same thing for the next month or two.But the thing is after this time he asked if he could check his Facebook on my computer I sed Ok go ahead and right infront of me he was messaging a girl that lives in our town she’s real pretty and he was messaging her with lots of kisses and just generally flirting with her I shook it off cause u guess I didn’t want to think about it. A week later he came round my house watched another film same thing kissing my neck but this time he moved his body and his face so he was moving closer to my lips I guess he wanted to kiss me. I never kissed a boy before so I guess I was nervous.I didn’t kiss him that night but the next day he came around and we went to my room I turned out the lights and just played blindfold in the dark aha it’s our fave game and he pushed me on top of him on my bed and I flipped my hair onto one shoulder and then he kissed me but it wasn’t a peck it was full on tongue in and everything BUT here’s where I got pissed off and upset and confused.after he was done kissing me it lasted like half hour he asked if he could check his Facebook I sed Ok and he was messaging the same girl flirting and everything.but he KNEW I could see what he was doing I was really confused.Over the period of a few months whenever we was alone in each others houses it would be the same kissing and tongues.But it got a little more heated as he would touch my bum squeeze it and all of that and all of that .But after this one time about a few weeks ago he messages A DIFFERENT GIRL flirting and lots of kisses and stuff.Thing is when we’re not alone and when he’s with mates he always goes on about the girl he’s messaging like its a disguise covering us up and stuff.I know it sounds cliche but I generally love him even though I’m young it’s kept me up CRYING some nights there’s more parts to the story aswell but this is aleady long enough I guess ????????

Reply February 19, 2016, 1:44 am


So what if a guy is normally really outgoing, but with you he isn’t as outgoing and more shy?

Reply February 12, 2016, 6:41 pm


He likes you.
He’s either a total people person who gets nervous around you (good sign) or he’s a naturally shy person putting on a people-person act but feels safe enough to drop the facade around you (also a good sign).

Reply February 18, 2016, 10:51 pm


Please respond, its really driving me nuts, what kind of signals is he giving me? I have been seeing a coworker (a guy) secretivly, no one knows about this relantionship. NO one. its been mostly via text a few phone calls (sexually) and at work we communicate, we have seen each other outside of work a few times, the first couple 3-4 of times no sex, the next couple of times hanging out, then going back t his place always with sex definatly always involved. This is over a 6 month period of time. But almost everyday even after having long email and text convo’s at work, my whole evening was more text convo’s on everything and anything, him opening up and being gaurded at the same time. We both initiated the convo’s. Always ended up with him calling me babe, and other cute names. sometimes we made plans sometimes we didnt. a few times we did end up doing something and then the next time he would totally ignore my text when i would confirm plans.,. Then it goes to no texting at all, we still are civil to one another at work, to him eventally texting me about something, tv shows movies, songs or just any kind of convo just to see if i will respond. He never talks about any other girls, he talks me about his family but we dont have that kind of relationship that we want to or are even anywhere close to meeting a family member or even one of his friends? He seems like he is into me and then backs off and then always finds a reason to text me, but just doesnt give my any kind of signal to whether he likes me enough or not?? Can you please respond, its driving me nuts, i have read all your things about if he is into you or not, or am i driving him away I have read all of them and he fits some of the categories and then he does not, most of those questions seem to not fit the sceerio? Help help, help me please>>

Reply February 1, 2016, 11:24 am


It sounds like he likes you on a semi-casual level (more than friends, less than romantic) and he just isn’t willing to commit to anything more. If he didn’t like you on some level, he wouldn’t keep spending time with you.

Reply February 18, 2016, 10:46 pm


What happens if a guy likes you but he does wants to tell you.

Reply January 29, 2016, 9:20 pm


then u have to make the first move dont be scared

Reply March 6, 2016, 5:48 pm


I have been talking to this guy for about 5 months no dating, we hang out like 2-3 week and go on dates. The things that is killing me he will say nice words to me and make me feel happy, ask me if I am ready to be his lady! Then a week went by and things change he won’t ask me to come over, he will go a day or so without texting and when I ask he just tells me he needs some space. Then when we see each other in couple days he hugging and kissing on me. I mean I could be over thinking about it but something doesn’t seem right and I don’t want to wast my time for nothing. Help me please

Reply January 28, 2016, 10:21 am


I went through this whole list and the guy that I am talking to does not do any of these signs to show me he is not into me. But he has gotten really busy lately. I guess that’s because the semester started 3 weeks ago. But he hardly contacts and I text and call him first almost everyday. I just don’t want to allow myself to grow feelings for someone that is not interested in me……

Reply January 27, 2016, 1:43 am


Hi eveyone. I would like some advice on two things. Okay here goes:
1. I have two classes with this one guy and I think he is really cute. He seems fun to be around and nice to. I really want to get to know him but for some reason whenever I’m around him I can’t! I just blank out and try not to stare at him cause I’m worried to come off as weird. But I want to get to know him as I said. How do I do that…. I always freeze up and am either awkward or weird.

2. Sadies is in 2 weeks. I have thought about who I am asking and all the guys in my school are either taken or something I really do not want to be around. I don’t have really a guy friend.. But now that I think of it there is this nice guy, he is a little bit of a stretch to ask because we are just friends but not as like close friends so. Well if u understand what I am saying thanks. Another thing would be to tell me it really is not right to ask this guy I like because I haven’t really talked to him at all and I don’t know him right?
Thanks a ton

Reply January 21, 2016, 3:40 pm


I would really like an answer ASAP!!!

Reply January 22, 2016, 10:40 pm


Please. I’m so bad at this..

Reply January 25, 2016, 4:44 pm


Okay don’t ask him, you can’t ask a guy you barely know to sadies. When I first started reading your article I relate because I have two classes with this really cute guy like and we have a 60 day snap streak on Snapchat and I wanted to ask him to Sadie’s because it’s also in two weeks and I know him at least a little but you seen a stranger to him so I wouldn’t risk it if you don’t know who he actually is first started reading your article I relate because I have two classes with this really cute guy like and we have a 60 day snap streak on Snapchat and I wanted to ask him to Sadie’s because it’s also in two weeks and I know him at least a little but you seen a stranger to him so I wouldn’t risk it if you don’t know who he actually is in personality

Reply January 28, 2016, 8:10 pm


hey so I’ve been dating my current boyfriend now for 8 months. Our relationship is great but I cant help but feel like he still misses his ex. He gets really defensive when I try and ask what happened between them. And all I know is that she broke up with him and he was devastated after the break up. Early on in the relationship he was stalking his ex and his ex-crush on fb. Does he love me or m I just a re bound that got out of control? :(

Reply January 16, 2016, 7:27 pm


Definitely a rebound

Reply January 17, 2016, 12:52 am


Hey there! I habe a crush on this boy I don’t know that well, so we don’t talk a lot. I’ not very popular, I don’t have that many friends, so I intruduced myself and we talked a couple times, and he seemed friendly, but even though I try to meke hom laugh and talk about what he likes, he just seems to enjoy himself more when he’s with other girls, not jus a specific one. I don’t know what to do, I really like him and don’t know how to become close with him.

Reply January 12, 2016, 10:02 am


Hey I just had a question, just some advice to do the right thing, I live in Vegas and I work at a station casino, there this security guard I been eyeing for the past few months, I told myself not to tell him that I liked him but on the other hand I thought take a risk and see what happens, its been a long time since I found a guy that I actually like. Well I told him that I liked him I gave him my number and so he gave me his, that we started chatting for a week or 2 it started out talking about one another he told me I was beautiful and he wanted to take me on a actual date, but he always said “just in the matter of when” so I gave it time and the next thing I know the text messages get less and less and Its less conversation like hey or how are you just little stuff like that than he tells me I am not looking for a relationship I been single for 2 years its my choice so I just told him I wasn’t looking but just wanted a chance, I am I gonna get that atleast and he says ya just the matter of when..He stares at me at work, but like in the smoking section when it just 2 of us left and everybody else is leaving he leaves with rest of the group there has to be something that I said or Idk what todo at this point, Should I just stay away? I don’t wanna push but I really like this guy, sometimes I wonder if he is talking to somebody else…. Thank you.

Reply January 3, 2016, 9:48 am


Well you should end the friendship if he likes someone else he has no right to force you to be his friend you do have a right to reject his friendship

Reply December 27, 2015, 12:21 am

Sandra Wagner

At Christmas party, my ex boyfriend follows me in my space talking with friends, I caught him across the room walking along with me, I went to the dessert table to cut the pies, he was behind me at the food line at the same time. He comes to my table gave this older person a slap cheek to cheek hug when he didn’t talk to her at all. What is he decoding? Is he trying to drive me crazy this person is a ex friend he told me he did not want anything to do with me when I felt things were moving too quick

Reply December 16, 2015, 5:44 am



Last year, after much deliberation, I moved to a new city to be with my boyfriend. He’d got a new job, moved to this new place where he didn’t know anyone, and we were madly in love. The move was okay but I soon realised that I missed my old job, friends, and the sense distaordom. Our relationship went from being amazing to almost always being irritated with each other. I guess I lost that ‘vibe’ you write about.

To make matters worse, I began drinking heavily, which didn’t help things at all. Thereve been a number of incidents where I’ve misbehaved. Naturally, he’s been furious with me during these times, but he’s also forgiven me and told me that that’s a separate problem we have to work on.

I’ve stopped the drinking bit, tried to clean up my act but I think there’s been too much water under the bridge.

I was always so carefree and fun and now I feel bogged down, surly, vindictive, jealous of his relationships with others. I dont want to be like this anymore. I want to be my old self.

He too has become distant, critical of a lot of my traits and things I do or say. Nowadays, I’m unsure about saying anything in case it bothers him. I always have my guard up.

Also, anytime we’ve sat down to talk about these things it always end up as a shouting match.

He tells me he loves me still. But I’m not feeling that love, for him or myself.

What can I do to get out of this rut, go back to my former self? I can’t stand being like his this anymore. He has his faults too but right now I just want to know how I can be happy.

Reply November 30, 2015, 2:36 pm


I been in a relationship for 6year and he left bout two weeks ago when I text him he want respond on right then .but I don’t text I’m he would text me so I’m trying to see if anything I’m doing for him to act out he do this every year and then come back so how do I handle this because I don’t want no man to think it’s okay

Reply November 29, 2015, 9:26 am

Mary Nik

Hi. Thank you for being there answering my question. There was this guy that i got acquainted with via my manager. He was his friend. We took an-hour class together and i didn’t feel anything for him till he started coming to our company for the first time and as a result he talked to me about that day and how i saw that class and actually he gave me a great deal of look which I didn’t take seriously because I didn’t know him very well. Days pass and he comes to our office 2 or 3 times a month but I don’t see him. Then on a start of a new project he decides to cooperate with our manager and be one of the investors. He gave me some kind of trying-to-hide looks while i was among my other girlfriends and I returned back some of his look the way he looked at me without trying to be flirting. Then he came to our company for some construction changes as he is a building designer and while I was talking to my manager he reached us and stand totally in front me and directly toward me and stared at me while talking to our manager. As he was there for some days, he did the following just to me and not to my other girl colleagues as they themselves told me he is so indifferent to them: 1- He came toward me straight and stand by my side and his body completely toward me looking and smiling at me a great deal in front of every one. He talked to me about the person on the phone and said that she talks too much!! He had his cellphone on speaker mode when he reached me and that girl was continuesly talking about some business issues. 2- He respected my ideas, listened to my view points about different things; he memorized them and once repeated what i have told before to our business partners. 3- He imitated my body language. He greeted me differently and with smiles and i smiled at him in return. But he suddenly stopped flirting and started being totally indifferent like I wasn’t there at all. He completely avoided eye contact with me and talked to me only if it was necessary. I had definitely no idea what was going on. I was confused. He left with no explanation but 2 days later he called our office and asked my colleague to connect him with me and asked me about the project which wasn’t really necessary for him to ask me. The day after i called him to tell him about the question he asked me and he answered but when i introduced myself he couldn’t say even a word anymore. The day after we had a business meeting in which he and I attended and others as well. He was again ignoring me and he was very sad, was dressed messy and didn’t really was there, in the meeting i mean. In the end, I took the plunge, I somehow told him I liked him and told me that he was just friendly and he meant nothing at all. And I said ok, maybe I was wrong. Some day after he text a greeting message to me and i answered the same way. Later I sent him an infographic picture and he asked me if I knew a good doctor for hair loss problem and talked to me about his problem and I listened to him and I gave him some advice but he stopped texting after 45 minutes of texting without saying goodbye or thank you. Another night he ended up saying this sentence: There is no game for us! Just your imaginations to which i answered: You made it clear to me once and I have a good memory, sir. And I didn’t text him anymore, he either it has been 21 days and haven’t seen him even. I have no idea about his behavior.
Thank you, in advance, for your advice.

Reply November 12, 2015, 4:41 pm


I have been seeing someone for around 5 months, we got on really well in the beginning for about 3 months and lately we have just been arguing so much just over silly things, he feels like I get on his case too much and that I keep putting the relationship down, I don’t mean to but where this is my first real relationship its all new to me and unfortunately Im the type of person who needs constant reassurance over things like what we had, but he does this thing where he goes from being very into making this work to changing his mind and I think anybody would understand that its quite frustrating, a few weeks back he randomly just stopped replying to my texts which was quite different, we’ve been through this sort of situation before but he’s never ignored me for days, its been really off for about 10 days now and this time it just feels real, he told me the other day that we are good around each other but we cant be together and told me he still likes me but he got really annoyed the other day when I started speaking to my old friend which is his cousin because he feels like she let me down as a friend, why would he still get frustrated over me being treated like rubbish if he didn’t care, he still talks to me like he dislikes me, why is this ? I want him back as I do still love him and cant just cut my feelings off from him, what would you advise me to do ?

Reply November 12, 2015, 4:00 pm

lisa wheeler

How u know if a guy likes u. I like this guy alot. He hardly texts me we spend four nights a week togethet when he is not out of town working. He wont talk or see other females. He said he likes me more than a friend. He also said he wants to see where things go between us. He knows of my past so am i just being perinoid he dont like me or do i need to relax cause he does like me. Please need some advice. We really do like each other and he is so amazing. Just want to know his true feelings about me is all

Reply November 12, 2015, 1:27 pm


Ask him.

Reply December 13, 2015, 5:27 pm

Lindsey McCel

I have a question, i know the texting is weird u said. But he hasnt been texting me first in a while and i always have to text him first. But when i see him in public he’s all nice and flirty to me. Is this texting thing a problem or is it just another guy thing? And if it is another guy thing will he get annoyed and think im too attached to him if i txt him first

Reply November 5, 2015, 10:12 pm

Paris Amour

Well practically all of these things u daid were opposite, so does that means he likes me? My friend thinks he likes me and I do too. But then I get this doubt like im just self centered and he dosent actually like me

Reply November 5, 2015, 10:09 pm


Hi. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half….yet have been haunted by his ex-girlfriends ghost. We met at work a few years ago where he ironically dated and met his ex to . They’ve been broken up for six years now and from what I’ve heard…the relationship was doome . She left him and moved on quick. On the other hand..I am the first serious relationship my boyfriend has been in since that breakup. He was devastated.(although I think he didn’t treat her as well as he should’ve) anyway, flash forward six years and I still hear stories about how she changed him for the better. And how miserable he was after the breakup and how he became a drinker afterwards. Oh and even better…I found him stalking her on Facebook almost daily very recently. Trust me. I know he loves me. But is it normal that I feel super uncomfortable and insecure about this?

Reply November 2, 2015, 1:27 pm


You feel super uncomfortable and insecure because you’re picking up his nonverbal communication (what he REALLY feels) and it conflicts with what he SAYS. So pay attention to your feelings. They are correct. Anxiety is caused by a conflict between what a person says, and what they really feel, and we pick up that conflict by the nonverbal clues, and our anxiety results.

Reply December 13, 2015, 5:31 pm


I’m so glad I subscribe to this blog’s and email. I have just return to the dating scene and it has been 10 years reason taking care of parents. I learned relationship are hard all kinds of situation out there are crazy to many rules. I am learning a lot about guys and how to handle things. I feel I have to say thank you

Reply November 1, 2015, 8:29 am


I met this guy three months ago. At first he was pretty aggressive and I told him I wanted to take things slow. He was fine with that. Our first date was at a party I went and he met me there. We had a good time and plenty of time to talk. Next day he called and we met again. he calls me basically everyday and he also text me couple times a day. We went to three get togethers together. All three at my friends places. We went to few walks at the park and all these are my invitations. He has spent 6 to 8 nights at my place. I have a 9 years old son, so when my son is not with me I say it is OK for him to spend the night. he has introduced me to many of his friends. He says he cares about me often. Not sure what that means. He says he wants to continue a relationship with me, but I am thinking what relationship am I in here? He is legally separated and his ex-wife lives in the bottom floor apartment and he lives on the second floor. They have a two family home. I have introduced him to my friends and invited him to events and engaged him on things I do with my friends. He has never invited me out to do anything. He has not taking me out for dinner or not even coffee. When he is with me he gives me his full attention and is a real gentleman, but he told me he has a lots of friends from his work and he goes to parties and he will not bring me because some of his friends are married and their wives knows his ex-wife and he does not want the word to go to his ex that he is with a girlfriend. he said that might get her upset and leads to divorce and he is not financially ready for it. Last week we were talking on the phone and he told me I need to concentrate all my free time on my son. That I want to have a social life and go out with my friends and I should be a full time mother and not a part time mother. I went to Florida for a weekend as a girls only weekend, and also went to a friends evening dinner two weekends ago and that I want to have a social life and am not giving my extra time to my son. I told him is not the case. I take Martial arts classes with my son and for the past two weekends I have not gone because I hurt my back and am not feeling good enough to return to the classes. He told me even If I don;t take the classes I can sit in and watch or be there to pick him up and have lucy ready or so for my son. Now, to clear this, martial arts is something that I do with my son and his father. We chose to do it as a family just for my son’s sake. So I asked him if he was saying all these because1- he cares about me and my child? 2- he was basically saying, going spend your free time with your child and not me. he said if he did not want to see me or be with he would tell flat out. I have not seeing him since Saturday, October 17th. He went to a dinner party with me and stayed over my place and left early Sunday to work. This Saturday, 10/24 was my birthday. He did text and called me but never mentioned my birthday. It was around 11;30PM when I spoke with him last, and during our conversation he asked where did I go and I said my son had taking me out to celebrate. I did not say celebrate what and that is when he said, OH I am sorry, I forgot your birthday. Happy Birthday! and said we will have plenty of time to celebrate. I can take you out for dinner some other time, since you were busy this weekend anyways. I did remember two days ago , but i forgot today. I did not put on the calendar because than would go on for every year and I did not want that to show up since my ex can see my work calendar. Also. he had problems performing and than he got some pills and once he took the pill two weekends ago it worked. Was after that, that he started with this conversation of me spending all my free time with my son. He said he is not a selfish ass that wants me to spend all my free time with him and not spend time with my child. Believe me when I tell you I spend most of my time with my child, specially on weekdays. I am not sure what kind of relationship he wants here. I am not sure what he means by ” I care very much about you”. He also mentioned yesterday that who knows,, maybe I meet someone on the corner and I will fall completely in love with this person and call him up and end it all with him, or maybe that can happen to him too. So I am on the other end of the line thinking, WTF? one minute you say you care for me, next you are telling me I might meet someone else and fall in love with? I am not understanding what is that he wants and what am I to him. He says I would not spend two hours on the phone talking with you If I did not like you. I really enjoy my time with you and we do have a physical and emotional connection. Yet, he has never invited me out. He does not have a place for us to go, he comes to my house. I just feel right now that to him it does not matter if I stay or if I go.
Can anyone give some in sites here?

Reply October 26, 2015, 3:32 pm


I have a problem…I love my boyfriend and we kissed after months and I loved it, but I don’t think that he liked it at all…now he blocked me and I don’t now why I can’t ask him because he doesn’t answer me and yes I tried calling him,but he doesn’t pick up the phone…what must I do I really like him,but I don’t now what is going on…can someone please help me I really need…HELP!!!!!!!

Reply October 25, 2015, 8:40 am


This guy is not interested in you at all.(I’m not saying this to be cruel) It took him months before he kissed you!!.trust me if he was it would not have taken him that long to kiss you. He’s not answering your text or phone calls!. it doesn’t take a brick falling on your head for you to see he’s not interested. Please don’t waste you time and move on to someone who care enough to shower you with attention!!l

Reply October 28, 2015, 4:41 pm


Ok so my boyfriend who is also the biological father of my 2 year old son was texting a girl I went to school with flirting and telling her he will single I caught him doing this twice and the first time he said he did it because he was jealous that my ex had messaged me .. The second time he said he did it because he was testing me to see if I would leave him. A few years ago we net and basically fell for each other pretty fast n I ended up leaving him because he got into drugs really bad and I was pregnant at the time. We are back together and he’s changed and gotten clean. We have been doing great untill all of a sudden he withdrew himself emotionally and physically out of the blue. I kept blaming myself thinking I did something wrong but turns out he was talking to the other girl. He didn’t say anything sexual or really bad just wanted to hang out with her like go to lunch but she refused cbecause she was still a friend of mine . she told me all about it and he did admit to it. I guess the question I’m trying to ask is does he really love me like he says he does and was he actually scared like he says he was or is he playing me? He wanwants me back and says he does love me and wants no one else but I’m scared hrl do it again he never slept with her or anyone else he was with me 24-7 besides work and he says hel be more affectionate n loving this time cus he knows I care he was just scared I’d leave him again. But I don’t know if I should take him back even tho I do miss him like crazy.

Reply October 23, 2015, 2:51 pm

Mid Life Love

I am in a very unorthodox relationship at a distance of which I am told that he is staying up wearing himself out just to spend time with me.

As a result ..I have made it a point to say goodnight early, but I know for a fact that he is not spending that time with me. We spend minutes together in that a day and it is because I engage him most of the time. He stays up to work yet I get the blamed his for losing sleep etc. We spend less and less time with each other now.
I have seen needy women demand and get lots of time from a men yet still complain, but that is not the case here. If there is less time spent together then it would be safe to say that he ditched the relationship.

I am not sure how to handle this since he claims he loves me madly and has waited for me so long yet the actions are clearly otherwise. I do not want to be drastic or create drama, but clearly he does not want this relationship right now or he would not use me as the thorn in the side when he applies time elsewhere. I have been supportive for a couple of years of doing this now. Always too busy for me.
Why would be claim that he loves me more than anything and has waited so long for me yet blame me for wearing himself out when it is clearly not due to time spent with me?
His line of work is Clandestine, so this is making it even more complicated. I have no idea what he does at all.
I need need a wake up call or sound advice.

Reply October 22, 2015, 4:59 pm


I met this guy in my neighborhood. He started doing some work for me and was getting paid. He offered to help me out with additional handy man stuff for free. At first he was distant and did not talk much. He works three jobs and has three kids so his time is limited. He will make time to help me with whatever I need. Our conversations are limited. He came to help one night and we were intimate. I explained that I could not do a “fwb”. He has respected those wishes and keeps me at arms length. For the last two weeks he has called almost every night a nod we talk for 2-3 hours. He has not mentioned wanting to have sex again. But, he makes sure he tells me he does not want to be in a relationship. I need to move on. Right ?

Reply October 14, 2015, 10:37 pm


Hi I’m nineteen and I’m friends with a 23 year old guy. I’m not the type who quickly falls in love but its been 5 months since we became friends and I’m so in love with him. He once told me he got really hurt in his past relationship but honestly I’m not that kind of girl. we normally text each other and meet up sosometimes. I also see him updating Facebook statuses saying he is not looking for love and always calling girls bitches. It’s kinda disrespectful and I wanna step back but I still keep on falling For him. He he recently told me that he almost fell in love with me but he held back because he didn’t want to disturb me. I’ve asked him to hangout with3 times me to which he agreed but he never showed up and he is always giving excuses. I really like him a lot and would like him to be my boyfriend. I need help please.

Reply September 22, 2015, 6:48 am


I’m 16, and I fell for a guy thats is 23.. I dont understand at all, sometimes he’s just like the signs you wrote about and sometimes it’s the complete contrary.
He teases me a lot and say some mean stuffs or say that am a child but I know its just for fun.. I never get mad for that.
But I know that the fact that I am underage is a problem for him.. Yesterday I tried confessing to him but indirectly.. he said “I am screwed, I don’t know what to do, I think we should stop talking for a while.”
I really, really don’t understand.. its my first time having a crush on someone and honestly it hurts more than it makes me happy.
What should I do ?

Reply September 12, 2015, 2:43 am


you have to do the only thing u can do really….you have 3 options
just say it to him speak to him about ur feelings
say it to him but if he seems grossed out tell him u r gonna back off
back off without saying nothing
but honestly do what ur heart wants

Reply March 6, 2016, 5:51 pm


I’ve been talking to this guy for almost a year now, we have been out a few dates and recently had sex, it was good but a little weird since we both are coming from a painful divorce. We like each othwr and that is obvious and I know that because of past relationship is hard to trust again. But he is always around, always texting and we even met each othwr kids in a really casual way. Is hard for me not to think a lot about where this is going, my past experience was horrible and this person is so amazing. I can wait and see but how about I wait until he feels sure enough of his feelings and is not the same as me, is just frustrating sometimes. He make plans with me about future places to go and things to do, but still I need to know a little bit more about where this is going. I enjoy completely what we have but I’m not sure about where this is going or how he really feels about me.

Reply September 11, 2015, 11:02 am


im not sure yet because he not introduste me to any one thats close to him

Reply May 12, 2022, 8:37 am


Stay or Go? So confused. 6.5 years. The longest relationship for either of us. He turns 40this week and im a few years older. His mom passed when he was a teen so he says he can never “love” someone. Although he has shown love the first years but never talks his feelings. The past year im tired of his lack of help financial and otherwise in the house. We moved in together after a year of dating and being together every day. He barely helps with bills and doesnt do housework. I work 40+, he does side jobs. I tell him Im unhappy and made plans to leave a few months ago. Im gettin fed up but then i see hes texting and flirting! I get so jealous now i want to make it work- all because im in competition? Idk!! Now im sad and confused. I discovered a heart problem and was in hospital. Now hes away so much but still home reasonable time and its sex every night but we dont go out together anymore… I want to buy a house and he keeps saying i can’t afford it but i kno i can. Should i just go, move on and leave him in this apartment to take care of alone?

Reply September 11, 2015, 7:42 am

single forever

all those you mention is exactly one guy is doing to me .i was talking to him for while another guy came talking all of sudden i became invisible .when i talk to him he looks every where but at me .he always ignoring me nealy to point of nearly knocking me with as so much as sorry .he always too busy to talk to me . when he does get chance to talk to me he rather sit down at computer and look at graphic then give me time of day its happen for very long time .i beginner notice more and more .i never had boyfriend its looks like i never i keep meeting his type the whole time

Reply September 6, 2015, 10:56 am


im in a live in relationship about 5yrs past 2 yrs distant and hardly go out anymore. Sex is gone. He claims its tiredness from job now lately an”unspoken” health issue ( I know it). The little things are gone. Thank you I missed you…conversations seem like I annoy him.
Has he lost love for me ?

Reply August 19, 2015, 6:30 am


You gave it all away for free, so now he doesn’t value you. He also doesn’t seem to want to do anything to rekindle it either. He’s a dud and doesn’t have a clue how to work at a relationship. Cut your losses, learn from mistakes. Set boundaries in your future relationships and you’ll have more success.

Reply August 25, 2015, 9:49 pm


I love him so much, I would do ANYTHING to make him happy. I still wish him all the happiness in the world. However, like every other guy, he didn’t give a damn about me…even if I worked hard to improve both my physical appearance and my personality! This life is so meaningless. Why did I meet the perfect man if it is solely to see him ignore me? I’m an atheist, but if ever there’s someone up there he must be laughing right now!!! :(

Reply August 10, 2015, 2:03 am


You’re probably an agnostic. If you want meaning, consider being a Theist via a personal relationship with God. Read/listen to Ravi Zacharias, who specializes in these type of philosophical debates. Stop trying to make a man happy by jumping through all these hoops. Nothing wrong with improving your health, but do it for you because you want to. He’s not a perfect man, even if God hand selected him for you. Ultimately you’ll never be completely fulfilled by a man’s love, that’s God’s job. Everything rolls from there.

Reply August 25, 2015, 9:57 pm


After all taking all the quizzes and pass proclaming his love and liking me no question then all of a sudden after 5 yrs he said we do not have a future , I could not understand just told him well end it that way you have said enough I was so hurt , that situation I was not prepared pls advise

Reply August 4, 2015, 2:04 am


Don’t spend 5 years with a guy. He doesn’t own you. Keep your boundaries firmly in place. He’ll buckle when you don’t give into sex and treat him like the husband he’s not. He needs to win you over and feel like you’re extremely valuable and need to be taken off the market. It’s difficult for a man to see that when you’re giving him all of yourself without a true commitment. Learn from the mistakes, and move on. Don’t beat yourself up. Look around online for other advice and support. Improve who you are as a person…and don’t make a man an idol.

Reply August 25, 2015, 10:56 pm


I have been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks, it was going well. He left for a vacation two weeks ago and he had texted me few hours before he had left for his vacation (that was his last text). Most of the times, he initiates the text. I know he was supposed to come back from his vacation a week ago and he hasn’t texted me. Should I text him or does this mean he is no longer into me?

Reply August 1, 2015, 8:00 pm


Yeah, just text him. I’m surprised you haven’t tried contacting him earlier. Maybe he lost his phone, etc. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

Reply August 25, 2015, 9:39 pm


So I believe my boyfriend of 3 years doesn’t love me no more. All the love he showed me the first year I thought he was the one. Now I don’t get nothing. I used to get texts and phone calls. Now I am lucky to get one text if that. I don’t think I am his first thought st all I am the last. He says he loves me and wants to be with me still, but he changed. He gets mad easley.when he is home most of the time he sleeps, like so he won’t talk to me or do stuff with me or my son. Sex is good. He used to compliment me a lot saying how hot sexy beautiful ect. Now is yeah that looks ok. My self esteem feel. He doesn’t kiss me during sex anymore, hardly caressing no passion. Talks to me like a friend. Always on the phone, gets mad if I ask him what he is doing, were he is at, and when he is coming home. I should get off his ass and everything will be ok. I am like ahh no. But if I don’t tell him what I do or who am with he gets mad.

Reply July 27, 2015, 3:36 pm


Move out. Get your own place. Concentrate on raising your son. The rest is not a priority…and this guy used you because you gave him everything without putting up boundaries that would make him want to take you off the market. He doesn’t value you. He may come around after you move out, but it would probably be just for sex.

Reply August 25, 2015, 9:36 pm


I would like to ask..I met the guy online and we went out movie and dinner once 2 weeks ago. He sent me ‘thanks for a nice evening’ bla bla bla, at that time, I thought, he was being polite.

Then, he keeps text me every day but a bit more slow response.

I thought he was not interested in me, as he didnt ask me out again, then I texted him to say, if we couldnt be more than fds, Im ok to be friends. Then he replied ‘thanks for my message and no problem being friends at the moment, as many things happened at the sametime (he is divorcing now), then all in sudden, his messages come more often again…and he keeps sending me everyday, morning, daytime and good nite(with my name).

Im really confused now that whether…he wants to keep me around as he may have other ‘better’ option or really is interested in he never asks me out again…since the 1st date.(or meeting)

Reply July 24, 2015, 4:43 am


This guy is in the middle of a divorce. Leave him be until his divorce is final.

Reply August 25, 2015, 9:41 pm


Hi I need some advice… This guy I really like I’ve known him for three years now n we were kinda seeing each other before but we ended it just cause of some situations anyways we always on n off talked through the years n we both love each other or at least he says he does but my problem is that I’ve grown more attached to him n he tells me he wants to date me but first he wants to get his shit together like get a job n move in with his buddy n that he says he wants to give me 100% not half ass that’s why we’re not dating right now but I feel like it’s just exucess plus I don’t believe he actually loves me so am I right am I just wasting my time or should I hang in there for a few more months n see n if nothing happens then walk away?

Reply July 7, 2015, 11:46 am


Do you really love him? If you answered yes, you’d honor his wishes to improve his life and give him some space. Don’t hold your breath. Work on a better you and explore what life has to offer. You never know, you may find someone else who is ready to give you his love now.

Reply August 25, 2015, 10:03 pm


Hi Joey,
I would like to know if this man really likes me, we met from a dating site last sept2014, i am from Phils and he is from US then we met last april2015.. He stayed here for 20days but i ddnt sleep with him in hotel which is i think its not necessary for first time meeting. When we are in chat session he is always being nice even we exchanging presents. Then we meet, The problem is he always drunk, he always making dramas about his family, he doin trouble and out of control..we hiked in a falls he has his shoes and im just wearing fitflops which i felt belittle tho im not asking for a shoes coz i dont take advantage. And i saw of his emails and messages he flirting also other girls in chat which hurts me and he said thats only for friends and he chose me! So in my part i gave benefit of doubts if he just using me or playing me.. So i didnt give a sex even he likes that makes him frustrated because he thinks he spend money going here then i ddnt give any.. Then i also lend our car with him but he just ddnt clean and lots of trash before he left back in US.. Then still until now continuing communication but we dont have any commitment. He telling me he loves me he has a plan for us and believe him and he wants to be his rock. Then i saw an fb page where he likes he is dating site for interracial so i frank him if he just playing me stop im not one of those girls if he likes a game. I didnt do anything bad at him and my intention were pure.. Then he said to me its only a page im so paranoid he loves me and will never let me go.. But until now we are like this, its so hard.. I feels like he just playing my emotions tho we have a picture together on his facebook but i dont know his passwords.. Makes me feel sad i have been nice why he just dont be frank that he isnt interested with me!!! ????

Reply July 3, 2015, 4:03 am


So this guy is:
1. A drinker
2. Drama-queen
3. Out of control
4. Sex first, values second
5. Female attention seeker
6. A foreigner
7. Won’t commit
Sounds like a recipe for disaster…let him go.

Reply August 25, 2015, 10:13 pm


I’m so confused about it,in first my neighbour give a number of my new relatives, that I never see him before.then I start texting to him,then finally I meet him in my house with some he’s workers, then after that I still continued to communication with hem,but I feel so

Reply June 28, 2015, 1:02 am


So I read these articles everyday, looking for advice. I feel like i am def NOT “needy,” I just want a normal relationship like everyone else. My guy and I talk every day… text mostly. But he always seems to be too busy to see me in person. So I fill my time with friends and stay busy with my own life. But it frustrates me because I want to see him more. I want to be more of a priority in his life. I read articles that say if he’s not wanting to be around you then he’s just not that into you, and don’t freak him out by getting too serious too soon, don’t start planning your wedding after date one, etc. But what if HE is the one initiating that stuff and making comments about moving in, getting married, and having a family eventually. Its hard for me not to mentally start planning my life with the wedding and baby carriage when he’s the one who brings it up from time to time. Now, all of a sudden, he has backed off a little and says he has a lot on his mind. I am trying not to be needy and to give him his space. When I try to talk about things, he apologizes for not giving me the attention that I need and says he’s just super stressed out about life and work. So I’m left in limbo not knowing what to do here. Do I kick him to the curb, move on, be patient with him, see where things go, etc. Don’t want to waste my time. I’m 32 and never married and/or kids. And I also don’t have time for games anymore. Life is serious now and I need him in or out, but giving a guy an ultimatum like that only pushes them away.

-Waiting in Limbo,

Reply June 25, 2015, 10:58 am


why would he need space unless the issue is with you? I dunno, but when I was in a relationship, I would turn to my girlfriend for support when I was stressed about something. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for more time together at least.

Reply August 14, 2015, 7:27 pm


Hey Joey,
there’s this guy I met almost one year ago… we met through our friends that we share. He is really handsome and he tried to initiate contact with me whole night, talking with me, teasing me around and we ended up kissing on the dance floor. Then he invited me to go home with him and I rejected that mainly because I just couldn’t and well it didn’t seem just right. Maybe it offended him but that was a some time ago… Now he’s super confusing when it comes to me. I don’t really know if he likes me or not… Most of the times he seems to be little intimated by me and I don’t understand why, like he’s afraid of me. When he gets drunk he eases up a little bit and tends to be closer to me. We slept together last month, we got drunk and there was always this tension between us and it sorta just happened and I don’t regret it we agreed that we don’t wanna date but I’ve never actually told him that I like him and that the reason I don’t wanna date him isn’t that but just the fact I don’t know him well enough and I don’t feel secure around him. Last time we saw each other he was acting super weird. He acts totally differently around every other girl but ME, he treats them normally but when it comes to me he has trouble speaking, he gets all nervous and stiff.. then he says stuff like it’s dangerous to keep partying with us it makes me think he doesn’t like me, then he never said anything like that and he doesn’t avoid me although he says some stupid things about having sex with some other girls but it just seems he’s doing it on purpose. I always felt like he’s afraid of something when it comes to me but maybe he just doesn’t like me…?

Reply June 23, 2015, 5:20 pm


Maybe he likes you, or else why would he be nervous? Its possible he feels bad about that one night stand. Dating is really the only way to get to know someone. If you don’t, you won’t be able to help bring his walls down. Comfort sometimes comes right from the get-go, but it also can come over time. If you both have verbally agreed not to date, then you’ve hedged yourselves in. There’s no way to get to know each other now, but just enjoy the awkwardness of each other’s presence. Communicate with him about your feelings, or get away from him.

Reply August 25, 2015, 10:30 pm


A guy that I work with had a crush on me for a few months and I had a crush on him too I just didn’t know he was into me like that. So recently I gave him my number. He didn’t respond it turns out he met this other chick which is ok I’m not upset cause all I had was a crush. The thing that’s getting to me is that he now finds it awkward to be around me. Cause he tried to talk to me and apparently was looking for me a lot the other day. But I didnt say hay back to him at one point during the day( by accident) ever since then hes avoided me. I guess i made him upset or feel awkward..Sucks cause I would like to at least be friends. I feel like i should go up and talk to him about it but i dont want to make it worse.. i dont know what to do to make him feel comfortable other than that.. or if I should do anything at all…

Reply June 6, 2015, 1:13 am

Grace Nehema

there is this guy i have known since my childhood, he start dating me when i was 18yrs and he have never asked anything apart from kisses. Things started when i was celebrating my 21st birthday, he asked me to be his wife and since my parents doesn’t approved our engagement; he suggested that he shld pregnant me and with that nobody will stop our married. It take me a full year to excepted his requested cuz i love the guy so much n i don’t what anything to separate us n also the problem of been virgin i have fear in me, my worries was how painful it will be, hw will he see me after showing my nakedness to him and so many other. I gave myself to him at the age of 22, it was on 25th Dec 2014 when i last my virginity to this guy, my aim was to have a baby with him but God didn’t allowed it but to my suprised the guy is not like the one i need before; he hardly call, it has been four months now without hearing his voice n don’t even wanna call him cuz i am heart broken. he always said that he wanna minimise talking thru the phone n when i called him i alwys got him talking so i give up. i don’t wanna have another man in my life apart from him so please help me am desperate i don’t know what can i do.

Reply June 5, 2015, 2:27 am


Over the past few months I started talking to this guy. We talked to eachother last year but we had a falling out. After 2 months of us just talking and hanging out he says that he has feelings for me. I had grown feelings for him so I told him how I felt. But I am afraid of getting in a relationship because he is in a love triangle . (he hasn’t dated her since we started talking) He says that he wants nothing to do with her because she broke his heart and I believe that is true. But I am afraid that she will come back into his life and snatch him away. What should I do?

Reply May 30, 2015, 8:58 am


Hie! This is Gauri. I met a guy at the gym he’s an instructor there. He’s really handsome, sweet, adorable, charming along with a pleasant to die for personality. After many hardships in life I dint take much interest in being close to somebody. But, but now I’ve really started falling for this guy. I don’t know that whether he is interested in me or not. Initially he showed interest but now I’m confused whether he’s ignoring me or not. I’m most of the time thinking about him, I’m really unable to control my feelings. I know this really sounds stupid but can’t help myself from resisting him. It’s really difficult for me to judge his body language. Kindly help me out through this situation.

Reply May 14, 2015, 2:44 pm


I’m so frustrated. So this guy talked to me a bunch, and we always kind of went back and forth on texting first, and once even stayed up till 2 in the morning just chatting.he would meet me at school to talk and seem to be coming up with reasons to hang out together. He invited me to hang out with him at the library and we watched some short videos and stuff for like an hour and I was really getting the impression he was into me.
I finally asked him and he didn’t say yes and he didn’t say no he just said he wasn’t looking to be in a relationship. So things continue like normal after that but he still does things that are really confusing me. Like one night we were texting and I noticed it was 9:00pm and I said “you’re skipping out on prom isn’t that like a big deal?” Or some,thing like hat and eventually they were like “well if I asked you next year would u go with me” but I don’t know if they were being serious or not so I just sent back “probably.”
My point is they’re are really confusing and I don’t know what to think

Reply May 4, 2015, 11:35 pm


hey jooeyy!
I recently developed a huge crush on this guy (after not liking anyone for about a year) and he’s really flirty with everyone (except me it seems ..) . He’s flirty with me but I can’t decide if it’s just his personality or he’s actually interested?
Also, I think he likes my best friend.Which is totally heart breaking. He’s a couple years older than me but I still want to try and get with him. Is it worth it or should I just move on? (PS idk if I can move on…)

Reply May 4, 2015, 9:20 pm


You can and probably should move on. Many times, a crush is the result of seeing things in someone that you lack in yourself but really want to have. Ask yourself why you like this guy so much. What about him do you see that you lack in yourself? On the flip side, have you given him any hints/signs that you’re interested? Girls have subtle ways of doing this…find out what they are and do them! Perhaps even touch his arm when he flirts with you, etc.

Reply August 25, 2015, 10:43 pm


Hi Joey. …. im Reena nad I’m 14.. I jave a huge crush on my best friend. . That day I wanted to know if he cares or not so I cut in front of him n he goot really sad.. but when my bff when to him and questioned whether he liked me or no n he said no.. he shows signs such as staring smiling making me laugh very usual but doesn’t admit that he likes me.. he acts very different around me.. Once he even told me on atext that he had a crush on me but then told my friend he’s just kidding. .. I don’t get his signs as they’re weird.. but many of them say he likes me.. pls I need your hhelp…

Reply May 4, 2015, 11:45 am


I need some advice. I’m 18, I’m probably over analysing everything but oh well. I’ve started at this new gym and I have the biggest crush on this personal trainer (not much older than me). We always look at eachother and smile in the gym, he started initiating short conversation before I left the gym. I caught him staring at me while I was sorting out my weights until I looked up and we both smiled at eachother quite cheesily. He was in the room quite abit and I think? He was looking at me on and off while I was working out but I’m not 100%. Anyway, that same day, he came over to me and sat right next to me while I was training. He initiated conversation, it was really flirty and we both were laughing, he kept asking me questions about my job, training, family etc. like he really was genuinely interested. It ended up us arranging doing something together and so we exchanged numbers. He text me about half an hour later, it was flirty but his texts were every few hours. We text all of that evening and then the conversation just stopped. We haven’t spoken since and I’ve not been gym to see him. What does this mean? He showed obvious signs of interest so why isn’t he following up on the date or texting me? I’m really interested and he’s just my type. I never over do it over text, don’t double text so I’m not showing over eagerness or anything but im showing interest with my texts? Help!!!

Reply May 3, 2015, 6:40 pm


Alice – how long has it been since he sent you a text? If it’s only been a day or so, give it another day or two, then follow up and see if he’s ok. It definitely sounds like he’s interested. Something may’ve happened. Give him the benefit of the doubt. I had the same thing happen to me with a girl i liked that worked at the gym I go to also. We had the same vibe going for a while, after several months I asked if she wanted to go to a local minor league baseball game with me (I had extra tickets), she was excited and interested, said yes. We emailed a few times about which game to go to, she liked a friday game, so we were going with that. Then two days later, she completely cut off all communication with me. About every day or two I would contact her to confirm the date, but she never responded. I never understood why she would agree to a date, then cut off all communication, but it is what it is. She eventually moved on to other gyms in the area and haven’t seen her since. Its strange how people can act. They’re hot one minute and cold the next. I don’t think she meant any harm toward me, but may’ve been creeped out suddenly, scared, found someone else, lost interest, etc. Perhaps you’ll have better luck. Just check in with him from time to time, remind him of your interest to go on a date, etc. If he doesn’t seem interested or even respond back, then let it go.

Reply May 3, 2015, 8:47 pm


Thanks for replying! erm it was a few days ago, we spoke to today in person when I went training. He was staring at me as I went to leave and we both kind of walked towards each other, we just had a friendly conversation with a little bit of teasing. I then decided to bite the bullet and text him today, it wasn’t a bad conversation but hours in between texts and he’s decided to not reply so I think I’m gonna let it go. I did genuinely think he liked me with how interested he was and his body language when speaking to me, I’m not too bad a reading guys but maybe he just wants the flirt and the chase of dating? – Alice, Surrey

Reply May 4, 2015, 4:21 pm


Please someone help me.. i have been seeing this guh for 2 months now.. he is sooo hot and cold towards me. He told me that he really likes me and loves me around but doenst want a relationship. I am fine with that honestly and told him that. But it buggs me that he makes comments like; “it feels like im laying with my girlfriend” or “its like we are in a relationship”. I ask him if it makes him uncomfortable and his answer is always “no not at all”!! He keeps on repeating himself about the not wanting a relationship and im at the point that i dont respond because i get it!! Now since 4 days ago he stopped texting me / calling me / wanting to go on dates and keep going. I also found him on a datigsite through my best friend. I wont take it to heavely because i know.. he doenst want commitment blabla.. i dont text him but im worried that all intressed in me is gone eventhough we both have the same ideas. When i attemt too talk about “us” he changes the subject.. im so lost someone PLEASE HELP ME

Reply May 3, 2015, 6:15 pm


Rose – don’t feel bad. This guy is all over the place emotionally. MOVE ON. That’s my best advice. Focus on other things, other activities, and other possible guys. He’s saying things that are contradictory. Don’t involve yourself with a guy like that. You’re wasting your time. He’s immature.

Reply May 3, 2015, 9:05 pm


Hey I’m Reena.. I’m 14… I kinda like really like this guy from my school.. he’s ny best friend. . Whenever I ask him whether he likes me not he keeps on saying no n he acts likes he really likes me and then one day we had a fight about this I started cutting in front of him and he seemed to be very worried he keeps on asking my best friend about me but he told my bestie that he doesn’t like me but act like he does…. I seriously don’t know what to do… I need u r help

Reply May 3, 2015, 12:07 pm


Reena – You cut yourself in front of him?? If so, you may have more important issues to deal with than with a boy from school. You probably creeped him out, but he seems to care about you genuinely. Focus on improving your mental and physical health first. Get into more positive groups, music, books, etc. You deserve better for yourself. Don’t let what this guy does or does not feel for you determine what your state of mind will be for the day. Free yourself of that. Focus on helping others, contributing in places that need your time/skills. You’ll grow in so many ways and you’ll forget why you were so caught up about this guy. There’s more to life…

Reply May 3, 2015, 9:00 pm


Joey u see I seem to really like him… n he seems to care for me I don’t cut every time. . I cut on purpose to see whether he cares he really does.. but is afraid of telling me he likes me.. can u please help me.. my friends keep on saying we make a cute couple… and his friends too say that too him

Reply May 3, 2015, 10:07 pm


Cutting to make him show he cares is called manipulation. It’s a BAD sign…for you and for him. Get some help, don’t listen to your friends. If you and him were together, it wouldn’t be long before you were cutting to get his attention, get him to do/say something you want, stay with you, etc. See my point?

Reply August 25, 2015, 10:47 pm

confused girl

Hi Joey,
I’m 16 and I have a problem.
I am friends with this big group at school. there are heaps of guys and a few girls. There’s this one guys in the group I was really good friends and we were kind of flirting. My other friends said that we would make a cute couple and that he so liked me back. Everything was awesome until we were messaging each other one night, when I told him I liked him. he didn’t respond to the message and unadded me on all social media. At school the next day he didn’t say anything to me so I just let it go. That afternoon I asked if we could talk over message again and he said he took it too far and we could be friends again. but the rest of the week at school was awkward. he told a few of his friends about it, he hasn’t talked to me yet and if I am talking to his friends first he wont join us he goes to another group. Some of his friends have no idea what is going on and I just need to know what I should do and what I should say and he is sending mixed messages as to whether he likes me or not.
Please help me.

Reply May 1, 2015, 9:57 pm


Make sure you don’t take his reaction to hard. It seems like he likes you to a point, but it’s rather unclear if it’s romantic feelings since he retreated…it’s possible that he’s just scared, or just not interested in that way. He might feel like he’s on the spot to do something now that you told him how you feel towards him. You both are young, and he probably has no idea how to deal with this yet. Just be yourself, and focus on caring about him, yet give him his space if that’s what he needs. Keep yourself light-hearted about it. Things may simmer down in a little while. You can send him an email if you want to just clear the air, saying that it’s ok if he doesn’t feel the same, you understand but still would like to talk once in a while as friends. Other than that, just move forward and don’t hang your head! Perhaps even find guys outside your circle at school, maybe even outside the school completely. Whether its through meetup, church, sports, book groups, etc., just challenge yourself to go beyond those walls and you never know, you may find someone who’s been looking for a nice girl like yourself!

Reply May 3, 2015, 8:15 pm


I’ve been seeing a guy for 3 months now. Everything was going great ,until 2 weeks ago . I was getting off from work and he called me to ask if I was hungry. I said No thanks it’s been a long day .. He then asked if I was going to his house and I said yes . He said I’ll be right behind you I will stop and just pick me up something to eat .. I get to he’s house and hour later I text him (NO REPLY) I wait another hour and call him again (NO REPLY ) .. I was starting to go crazy ,so I left because I have been needing to get me some summer clothes for the next day anyway .. Well after another hour he finally text me saying he was cow chasing and be be here in a min .. I was on my way back to hes house ,When i get a text saying WHATEVER .then i stopped and when back to my house .He was so angry that we didn’t talk for 3 day’s and then he said he wasn’t going to date anyone but I could and we’ll play this by ear .. I’ve only seen him 2 hour’s in 2 weeks .. We had a date planned but he called and canceled and that Friday he disappeared and I text him Sat morning around 10 and asked him where did you go ,, He said the Bar and now I’m on my way to Houston for my job…..What do I do ???????

Reply April 27, 2015, 8:39 pm


I have this really big thing for this cute guy but I’m not so shore that he likes me in that way… HALP ME??????????????????????????????????????

Reply April 21, 2015, 5:51 am


hes cute hes funny but just does not have eye contact hes looked at me and smiled at me. hes winked at me too but the thing is there is this girl that is ugly and gets between us . she has pimples and dresses so ugly she looks poor

Reply April 20, 2015, 10:39 am


there is guy who talks to me on social networking site everyday.I have really started liking him very much.But he says he is looking for a girlfriend.He is often in the dilemma to how to make a girlfriend. He says that he feels lonely because of that.i have tried to check him through various ways and i am afraid that he would say a NO to me if i just proposed him. i am simply not able to get out of him .i think about him so much and he does not know anything. instead he tries to ask me things how to impress a girl.he talks to me very nicely and flirts with with sometimes(actually praises me very much… sometimes even for no reason) I have fallen for this guy and i feel helpless please help me…….

Reply April 17, 2015, 11:37 pm


why a guy still date a girl when he doesn’t like her that much anymore??

Reply April 14, 2015, 12:00 am


So i met a guy during my final semester of college and we became really good friends, i gradually started liking him and we became closer and closer. Now we talk everyday, know everythjng about each other and are comfortable with saying anything. He says he likes me but doesnt want a relationship because it brings alot of drama but he always mentions how theres noone else like me in his life. He doesnt talk to anyone else like he does to me, i am sure of that. Problem is the whole 2 yrs we been talking, weve only met up twice and its more of a friendly casual thing. He never mentions hanging out or meeting up and it scares me. Is he using me for my time or is he genuine and cares about me and really wants to take this far? He is a very shy guy and is very genuine his not a player of any sort. Really respected and honest. Anyone has any advice? It would be greatly appreciated.

Reply April 1, 2015, 8:42 pm


I’ve been in my relationship for 3 years now and he won’t touch me. He won’t hold my hand, kiss me, doesn’t get intimate often and it’s more of a wham bam thank you ma’am kind of event when it does happen…we are expecting a child so I guess I should feel the love but I enjoy the touch aspect of a relationship….which he is VERY aware of. His normal response when I ask for a kiss or a hug is that he’s been “lovey dovey” with other girls before and it’s never ended well so he’s not going to be that way with me. We’ve been through quite a bit the two of us together, he used to yell at me and shove me but the last year he’s really cleaned up his act. I’m not sure what to do, he has never left me and the one time I left for a week he stayed and waited for me to come home so we could fix things but he really just seems to hate to touch me and I’m not sure why…maybe I’m not appealing? Maybe other women really have messed up that aspect of our relationship before I got a chance to show him I’m different? He’s always saying how different I am and how he wants to be with me but I can’t help but feel like he’s not really into me…any suggestions?

Reply April 1, 2015, 2:15 pm


He won’t show you any affection after 3 years together? Some guys show more than others…but how in the world did the two of you end up together then?? Anyway, sounds like he’s using you if that’s the only time he shows affection is in the bedroom. Something is WRONG, big time. He knows it too, but probably, like most guys, doesn’t have the first clue what to do about it. He’s about to be a father too, and that probably weights heavily on him also. Who knows what all the issues are, but I don’t think past relationships with women have been as big of factor as he believes. Affection comes naturally from a loving heart. If something isn’t right, usually relationally/emotionally, then it can hinder his display of affection. It may not have anything to do with you at all. Normally, my advice for something like this would be to LEAVE, immediately. However, he’s about to be the father of your child, so raising the child with both of you working together, preferably as a married couple, would be whats best for the child. I assume you’re already being careful how you approach him on this topic, as you don’t want him to feel like he’s being nagged/pushed. There are scores of women who are going through the same thing too, your’e not alone…and neither is he. Inject some positive energy into the relationship, and encourage him constantly. Notice the good things he does, even in his failures. Compliment him, and expect nothing in return. It’ll be difficult at first, but it may produce some positive results down the road – and may elevate your mood as well, and it costs nothing financially. You’ll have to make some changes in your routines as well. Get away from negative people, degrading TV/music, etc. Read positive, encouraging material. Find ways to make a difference. The tide will turn in your own life – and may infect others near you as well. Also, you could enlist some help, maybe his family, best friends, professional counselors, etc. Always keep perspective: it could be worse! Hope this helps

Reply April 13, 2015, 8:11 pm


Others a man that has been coming in to where I work for almost a year. He started giving hugs the second time he came. All the while telling me how beautiful, sexy, etc
.. I am. About 6 months later he started missing me on the cheek or forehead before he left. I fell for him months as go, but wasn’t ready to act on anything. I was scared. Last summer I gave him my phone number so he could send me a picture. He began texting every morning with “morning beautiful” & every night ” night sweetheart”. He would call me at various times around the clock just to let me know where he was. Now, he goes MIA a Lot! I finally decided it was time to start seeing him when we can in January. He even stops by to give me a kiss if he doesn’t have a delivery at my job. He’s the father of two boys, divorced and a truck driver/reserve police officer. I’m recently separated, and work two jobs. We both work out and we live in different towns. I know we’re both very busy, but texting and phone calls are our main line of communication. Now he won’t text and rarely answers his phone. What’s my next step?

Reply March 29, 2015, 9:25 pm


Everyone shut up!

As a guy i say one thing.. If he thinks your an idiot then he doesn’t like you…. Do something cute, if he is attentive then he likes you, if he thinks your a idiot then move on… Simple!

Remember every hot woman will virtually seem like a genius to most men…

Reply March 29, 2015, 8:55 am

Ronnie Greenspan

I agree. Plus it is not fun when someone thinks your a idiot and your not one. Let him have his
hot girl who he thinks is a genius but is not one.

Reply April 30, 2015, 7:44 am


So there’s this guy and i like him a lot but he is dating the most popular girl in school and she’s cute and i don’t know if the girl will get mad at me if i tell him i like him because she has a lot of friends and i don’t want to mess up their relationship. What do i do? Do i tell him or what untill they brake up? Life is so hard when it comes to this because hd is the only guy i truly like but hes dating the most cutes stylish and popularest girl so i guess i should give up and backk off there relationship

Reply March 28, 2015, 12:17 pm


Unfortunately, it may feel like it would be a good thing to get that off your chest to him. It’s unlikely any good will come of it, and it will very likely cause tension or trouble. If someone is in a relationship, a third party telling them that they are interested in them won’t help much. It’s extremely unlikely that the best case scenario would happen. That being: he says “me too” and dumps the girl to be with you. Unfortunately that only really happens in fantasy and movies.

“i don’t know if the girl will get mad at me if i tell him i like him”

Yes, she will get mad. You will be interfering. She will probably tell her friends, and her friends may even harass or bully you for it. This happened to me when I was in school and did the same thing as you are thinking of doing.

Either wait until they break up, and try to get close to him. Or move on and find someone else that takes your interest. This is probably not the answer you’d want to hear. But it’s one based on direct experience.

Reply March 29, 2015, 1:54 am


I moved into a new school before Christmas last year because of being bullied and made a new friend called let’s call her X. We became best friends and did a talent show together. After that I got a crush on a really nice guy (he’s 13 im 12 almost 13) I have a lot of confidence issues social anxiety trust issues and suffer from depression. X was really nice about it and even helped me arrange to go to the cinema and my crush (she is going to come to back me up). After that I felt happy but really shaky and scared. So I tell the guy I like him I said: this might be a bit shocking to hear but I like you… Something like that. I sit there waiting for 2 hours and no reply my best friend x just suddenly dissapeared and I am really upset. She might blocked me or deleted her account. I’m just really scared tbh right now. Please help. I’m trying to fake illness for school tomorrow. Feeling horrible right now ????

Reply March 26, 2015, 7:02 pm


You need to calm down. You shouldn’t label your self that’s just a crutch you use to explain a weak character. You are 12 or 13 that’s is the most awkward point in life. If he likes you then you will both get board and find new people within two years and if he doesn’t like you then oh well on to the next one. Just Try to relax and remember that you will grow into yourself one day but if you label yourself then you will grow into your labels

Reply July 24, 2015, 11:51 am


A girl met a guy on net..he starts liking him…he never seen him..jus in pics…once she tell she likes her..but in anger…the guy insults her..make fun of her..n his friends also..guy have a different religion too…now the girl is not talking to the guy for about 4 years..the girl thinking that guy likes her…but may be his ego comes jus to say that….is that girl is wrong???

Reply March 25, 2015, 12:28 pm


I feel desperate! I hadn’t seen him since we were little. We are in touch for a few years now, once in every six months we’d text each other, just check in and ask how life is going. We’ve seen each other on a wedding six months ago. He was like ‘you’re prettier than I imagined’ and I was all shy because I had not expected to be this drawn to him. Ever since he texts me almost every day. He wants to know all about my everyday things. If there is something going on like trouble at work, he goes out of his way to call me for hours, and likes to share his stuff as well. He underlines that he is not much of a sharing type and feels comfortable with me etc. BUT. He never wants to meet up. He is always too busy. And I know he really is. But it’s been six months! He still texts me ‘I want to know all’ EVERY day, he is the initiator 90%. But he doesn’t want to hang out. I’m frustrated as to what he wants. I know there is no one else. I don’t feel we are just friends. I’d know because I have a lot of male friends.

Reply March 25, 2015, 12:29 am



It’s been a while since you posted this not sure if your situation changed etc. But to me it sounds like this guy has a girlfriend that’s why he doesn’t want to meet up, that’s why he’s always “busy.” And of course he’s not going to tell you because he likes you and doesn’t want to lose you. I may be wrong but eh this is what I believe is going on based on what you wrote on here .

Reply May 19, 2015, 5:35 pm

silke janssens

Hi Joey,

I need your help! There’s this guy I’ve known since I was a little kid, but we never really spoke to each other. That changed 6 months ago, when we were at this party. I must say I was a little drunk and he was probably too, and all of a sudden we were outside, just the two of us, talking while he was taking a smoke. When he finished his cigarette, he suddenly started kissing me. I would’ve never seen it coming, it was totally out of the blue and I kissed him back. It was one of the best kisses I’ve ever had. I totally didn’t/and still don’t understand why he did this: he’s one of those guys that every girl has a crush on, and he knows it. That’s probably part of why I was so shocked he kissed me, I’ve always found him attractive, but I simply never acted on it because I thought I could never get someone as goodlooking as him to like me. The next morning I found out that he actually had a girlfriend, and that she broke up with him because his friends had texted him about him kissing me. I should have felt guilty, but I didn’t. Since then, I couldn’t stop thinking about him and all these ‘what if’s’ came up in my head. What if he might like me for who I am? What if he is interested? What if we kiss again? You can imagine… And it didn’t make it any better that he was a phenomenal kisser. Moving on, the next time I saw him, he was always joking around with the things I said, and I could feel that he was looking at me more than usual. More weeks passed by, (i don’t see him that often), and it felt like he was really opening up to me. One day, the two of us were walking in town, it was a sunny day, and it was one of the first times I actually was alone with him, and with that I mean, alone and sober ;). I thought it would be really awkward, but it wasn’t awkward at all. He told me a lot about his personal life, like how his mom wants him to stop smoking but she knows how difficult it is because she had a really tough time quitting herself, how his ex broke up with him because she thought he was too immature (although I don’t really know if talking about your ex is that much of a good sign), and he asked a lot of questions too. And the entire time, right at the moment when I thought it would get awkward/silent, he started telling a new story. You can sort of imagine that I was very positively surprised by his willingness to open up to me, especially when he’s one of these guys who can get any girl he wants. But here’s the struggle, after that, we went to a couple of parties, (we didn’t go together, we just have the same friend group), and that’s when he didn’t showed any interest in me whatsoever. We did say hi and talked a little bit, but I honestly hoped for a little bit more… Now we are 6 months further, and this weekend we went on a group weekend with 15 friends, including me and him. And this is where it seems to really bother me: we barely spoke to each other. He’s very attractive, and I know he knows it (he can be so goddamn arrogant and full of himself, but in some weird way, that’s exactly what I like in guys), but this weekend I just couldn’t stand it. It was like all he was trying to do was impress his friends with his witty comments. I really don’t know where I stand for the moment, and I can’t move on (I’m such a girl.) because if there could be like this tiny little bit of hope that he might be into me, I don’t want to miss my shot. What do you think? Please help me!!!!

Reply March 23, 2015, 3:01 pm


Hi Silke,
So he opens up his life to you for a while, now he’s aloof? It’s hard to say really. There are a lot of possibilities as to why he’s acted toward you the way he has. You’re hoping for the version where he’s into you, but might be a little tentative about asking you out. That’s probably the best case scenario among a multitude of scenarios. You have a few options though. 1.) Do nothing, wait for him to make a move. 2.) Ask him if he wants to do something together. 3.) Tell him how you feel, and wait for his reaction. Don’t come off needy, just be honest about some of the positive feelings and experiences you’ve had with him thus far.
Now, with that said, let me give you a word of warning: Be very careful how this moves forward (if it does). If you already feel like this after one kiss and some time together, imagine what would happen if you were both sleeping together, then he went into “aloof” mode like you described earlier…not talking to you, doing his own thing, etc. Establish some unspoken boundaries…for your own sake. If you feel like he’s using his good looks and charm to have his way with women (sex, attention, etc.) you should be very wary. If he’s truly arrogant and self absorbed, that’s not really someone you want in your life…is it? Good looks come and go, but a person’s character runs deeper. Maybe dig deeper and find out what this guy really made of…how loyal is he to commitments? He “committed” to a girl, but kissed you also…and he was drinking so…maybe he can’t be trusted to make proper decisions when he’s under the influence? Will those thoughts pop into your head if you and him were a couple? You have some things to think about…I wish you the best

Reply April 13, 2015, 7:07 pm


Hi ,

I know this guy and we were very close but he got upset with me over reading some old conversation and even though he never committed ,we really had a strong liking towards each other. I dont want to end things and want to settle things down but really dont know what to do as he does not want to talk to me at all.

Though after not talking for 4- 5 days i sent him a text and the following day he sent a song and the conversation was very abrupt and strange .

Please help me as i really dont want to lose him and want things to be normal and him to understand that it was in the past and even without any commitment when he was in my life i was a 100 % with him.

Waiting for a response.


Reply March 21, 2015, 3:31 am


hey eric,
can i please get your email. i was to discuss something really important

Reply March 10, 2015, 9:49 pm



Reply March 18, 2015, 8:00 pm


Ok so I have known this guy for a little over a year now and I really like him and everyone tells me that he likes me too but to be honest I’m not sure that they are right even if I want them to be. I dont see him all that often and when I do we don’t always Talk but when we do talk it seems like he likes me. I might be ready to give up and just move on. I also just messaged him and told him I liked him straight out which may not have been the best idea but I did and he never messaged me back. What does this mean is he just shy like everyone says?

Reply March 8, 2015, 11:21 pm


If everyone is saying that he likes you back then he probably does, especially if when you talk to him it seems like he does. He’s probably just shy and doesn’t want to ruin your friendship, If you really like him try telling him again in person as just say you don’t want to ruin the friendship but I have feelings for you and if he says he does too then there you go but if he doesn’t then just say that’s fine lets just keep being friends.

Reply March 31, 2015, 5:20 pm


Months Ago.there this guy who actually admitted to me that he have been sending off clues that he actually likes me .. I responded with are you messing with me ?
And that was it since then..
I responded like that bec my friends have been telling me how he is attached to someone to some extent and sending off signs ..
I m not sure who to consider his words or my friends observations

Now I feel regret for blowing my chances for something
I wasnt accepting at that time and now I am..
Please Help ! Is there anything to do ? Or wait for ??

Reply March 5, 2015, 2:19 pm


Alright, I need an outside point of view on this. I like a guy, and I think he likes me back, meaning he makes eye contact a lot, and who I see/ run into frequently. He has a lot of girl friends, but not in the romantic way, and I’m positive he hasn’t dated anyone before. He moves on quickly from other girls that he flirts with quickly, but for as long as he’s given me attention he’s moved on from several girls. I’m not sure if this means he has feelings for me because he’s paid attention to me longer, but I’m not sure. An outside opinion would be helpful!

Reply March 4, 2015, 10:23 pm



Reply March 13, 2015, 4:51 pm


Don’t listen to Thulichrist, that is lame advice.

Uncertainty doesn’t mean give up, it means try to find out. It’s also better to find out, even if it’s not the answer you want, than to wonder for the rest of your life.

There is a lot of risk in coming out and saying “hey i like you”, you don’t have to that.

He may or may not be flirting with you more intensely than other girls, you can’t really know that, because you will (obviously) see it more when it’s happening to you. Maybe try escalating it, just a little bit. Nothing too obvious, but subtle things. If there is eye contact, maybe make it a bit more intense, see what the response is, if any. If there is a hug involved, see what happens if you hug for just a little bit longer. Things like that. If he reciprocates each time, take it a step up each time with little things. Each time you do it, there is a low risk, but eventually it will become clear, if he doesn’t reciprocate those things, then you will have been able to tell whether he is interested without having to be overt and risk humiliation.

Reply March 29, 2015, 2:04 am



I’m in a tricky situation with this guy…so I met this guy on tinder…we spoke for nearly 6-7 weeks before we actually finally met…we went on a few dates and everything was going great he would always call me gorgeous and beautiful and call me babe on Messages etc…anyway this weekend was THE weekend and on Sunday everything seemed Abit odd. He wasn’t very cuddly or touchy feely with me and as a woman that made me feel Abit pissed off…I didn’t say anything to him as i put it down to us both probably having a hangover

Anyway all day Sunday he seemed okay he was still calling me babe and said he had a great night etc.

Since Monday he’s not sent one flirty message, called me babe, called me beautiful said I’m gorgeous like he normally does…all he’s done is call me ‘Em’ which is fair enough but normally he would be like ‘night babe etc etc…’ We’ve not really spoke a lot either to be fair and he’s not very talkative with me. We’re going out on Saturdah and I’m getting to the point now where I’m thinking…what’s the point in even going out if he’s going to be like that with me?! It’s as if he’s calling me ‘Em’ for a reason and its standing out more because when we speak it’s like he’s making a concious effort to replace ‘babe’ with ‘Em’ all the time. So I’ve started to replace ‘babe’ with his name.

It’s really upset me to be honest and I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal but us girls are so observant and it would be nice to be spoken to the way he has in the past…ive done nothing to merit him being like that and he doesn’t even send me any flirty texts anymore or make me feel wanted. I just don’t know what to do?! :(

Reply March 4, 2015, 2:59 pm


Girl, stop being so insecure. When a guy really likes you he’ll want to say your name more. sounds like he’s being more comfortable and committed with you, especially knowing he has already planned your next date. Have fun and don’t get too stressed out over what he calls you. Him making time and definite plans with for you is a bigger indicator of his feelings for you.

Reply March 4, 2015, 3:11 pm

anonymous girl

I have the same problem as Avie. I really don’t understand this guy that I like. I need to know if he likes me or not. I want to be his girlfriend so bad. He once asked me out and I screwed it up. I said really like five times. Then he said he was kidding, and that he wanted to see my reaction. Then he said, “What would have said if I really meant it?”. I told him that I would have said that I would have to think about it. The after that, like 3 moths after, somebody told him that I liked him. That happened today. Anyway when they told him he got surprised. I really need help to konw if he likes me or not.

Reply February 24, 2015, 7:40 pm


Wow, why would a guy jokingly ask you out? He must be immature. My first instinct is that he likes you, but because you second guessed him 5 times, he may’ve felt awkward because his approach wasn’t well received at first take (or 2nd). Take what he says at face value the first time. Just remain actively interested in his life. Ask him specific questions, how he’s doing with such and such (sports, projects, classes, etc), if he wants to eat lunch together, go shopping, bowling, etc. Otherwise, just sit back and wait for the guys to reel you in. Make sure you give those signals that girls should give to let the guy know you’re interested, the rest is up to them.

Reply February 25, 2015, 8:08 pm


Hi Joey, You share great advice. Maybe you can help. Here’s a situation: This guy has known this girl for almost a year. They worked together briefly, but got a chance to know each other during that time. The girl has reached out from time to time to say, they guy has reached out maybe once or twice. At one point he expressed interest in a physical relationship, but the girl turned him down saying she’s not into things that does not involve emotion. He had come out of a long-term relationship so the guy could not handle emotional commitments. Later on, the girl noticed he was dating some girl. They apparently have spent some Holidays together. The girl found out, because the new girl he is dating posted pics of them together on facebook, however, the pics he posted do not mention the new girl he is dating or that they were together those days. The girl asked him if the new girl was his girlfriend he said no, but they were dating. The girl basically told him she wanted to date him, but only if he stopped seeing the other girl. He responded to the girl that he was only into dating one girl at one time. She thinks maybe he needs some time to sink in what she said. The guy and the girl who likes him -(not the one he is currently dating)- have never been on a date, speak mostly via text she initiates, and he has never asked her out, although they made tentative plans to that never solidified… (Writing this out is actually bringing clarity to the situation…) But, what are your thoughts: Is that new relationship serious? How long would it take for him to really consider what the girl (who likes him) told him? The girl said she is going to just back off and is even thinking about defriending him on facebook, because she really likes this guy and has put it all out there that she wants to date him… Would love to hear your thoughts on this situation.

Reply March 11, 2015, 1:02 pm


I like this guy, and he acts like he likes me back. The thing is that when I asked him if he liked me back he said no. I’m not sure what that means. Can somebody help me?

Reply February 24, 2015, 7:30 pm


Avie – No means no…sometimes lol. Depends on maturity level, age, personality, etc. He might be shy and doesn’t want to admit his feelings for you. If he likes you, he should approach you for a date. If he doesn’t, he’s just scared/immature, or he just isn’t interested in that way. He may just like talking/joking with you because he’s comfortable with you. Don’t overthink these things. Be yourself. Have fun and enjoy your life. Take interest in other things to keep your mind off of this guy.

Reply February 25, 2015, 7:55 pm


Hi Joey, I’m very confused at the moment and this drives me nuts. Help! :(
This guy started texting me two years ago and it wasn’t intense until probably begining of 2014 til recently. We used to text each other from morning to night every single day! All this while though, he never ask me out. It’s ok i understand it took some courage to ask a girl out. So he finally did late December 2014 and we went out quite a few times. Though I did suggest rain checks from some of his invitations (he couln’t be turned off by these turn downs, could he?) The dates were good, a bit awkward but good. And not long after that i felt that he changed. He didn’t text me as much anymore and so I did my bit and text him first and ask him out and he said yes. Again, a good date. From then on, nothing from him at all and it’s been three weeks now. Question is, does he like me or not? Or am I just thinking too much? If he does like me, what could’ve changed in such a short time? And if he doesn’t like me, why keep the conversation for years? He showed mixed signs and he never really say he likes me and he’s kind to almost everyone but I call feel that he’s different with me. I don’t know what he’s thinking. What should I do next?

Reply February 24, 2015, 7:34 am


If he’s not contacting you, then check in with him from time to time like you have been, but you may want to be more direct in terms of a possible romantic relationship with him. You might have to just ask him if he’s ever considered it. He may not be interested anymore, or he may just need a jumpstart to get comfortable with being with you. It’s difficult to know. You might want to let him know that you’re interested but aren’t going to wait around…or you can just demonstrate that by moving on in silence. Guys have to learn to take more initiative if they want a woman. Women need to know the obvious signals to give a man so he knows they’re interested and can make an approach. If you know those signals, and have given them, then you can be confident that he isn’t interested.

Reply February 25, 2015, 7:48 pm


Hey so me and this guy have been talking for about 6 months we went from hanging out every weekend to hanging out every 3 weeks now. Could it be because he needs his space with his friends?. This recently just started happening. He’s a really nice guy and tries to write to me everyday of the week. I know a lot about him and he knows a lot about me. But he’s never told me he likes me or is into me. I mean I feel he does. But then i don’t know. I could be wrong :/ I’m 22 and he’s 22.

Reply February 23, 2015, 8:20 pm


Many possibilities. Write to you? You mean texts, emails? He may have a busy schedule, personal problems, or he’s losing interest (if he had that). Don’t hound him. Perhaps check in with him every now and again to see how he’s doing, maybe even slip in a fun, stress free hangout. If he says yes, try to get some information out of him as to what’s going on in his life. Tell him you’re there for him to listen, etc. If you’re having sex with him on these weekly, every 3-week hangouts, he may just be using you. Be careful, unless you don’t mind the “FWB” tag. Other than that, just act interested and concerned. Meanwhile, chat up some other guys, enjoy your life and explore your interests.

Reply February 25, 2015, 7:36 pm


I honestly don’t understand my ex. I was the only girl he ever loved and he broke up because he wasn’t sure about living me passionately anymore. Two days later he is helping to move me out and is acting like he is 100% happy and that he is already talking to other people and already had a girl he wants to date who is prettier, with a better body. I told him compassion is what stays in a relationship and passion comes and goes but it is like he is in denial or something. He kept bragging about all the people he is talking to because he heard I was on tinder and meetme (I was on it just for fun). He told me he made a point to swipe left on me on tinder. And when we were leaving his apartment, he saw this creepy guy check me out and he said “why don’t you go out with him?! He was checking you out!!!!” He acts like he 100% doesn’t care about me and that he is completely fine. He is talking to a ton of girls that he isn’t even interested in. He claims his feelings for them might’ve changed but honestly they are girls that either liked him in the past or he thinks likes him. What is his problem??

Reply February 23, 2015, 11:18 am


Sarah –
He’s immature. Don’t be sad that he is gone. That’s a blessing! No more wasted time of your life on that guy…there are plenty of guys that will adore you and treat you like a woman. Choose your boyfriend wisely next time, and learn from past experiences…oh, and don’t harbor any ill feelings toward him at all. Make sure you purge those if/when they develop.

Reply February 25, 2015, 7:29 pm


I have a fella who gives me really mixed signs….
We met as roommates. He was close friends with my ex (who later became my x husband) . We all lived together for about a year. So I know him comfortably. Eventually he moved to another state and I got a divorice . We had kept in touch and when my divorice happened he was very supportive and even bought me a vacation to spend time with him…..I thought this would be it be cause I always felt there was an attraction there . But than nothing did…. (Mind you we were both a little depressed at this time which was another reaason for commin together) The last day when he takes me to the air port he kisses me ! Than tells me he misses me already.

Confused by this, I let it go figuring I’m in no star to start a complicated long distance relationship . Through our the next year we see each other 3 more times dispute being in other states…. He is sweet to me. Pays for everything and takes care of me when we are near….. I’ve told him I love him, he has told me he loves me . We talk openly. He had a short relationship with another woman durring this time …. I never got to meet her, but on one visit to her family (which is in my home state) he joined but didn’t stay with her. He stayed in a hotel and we hung out everyday.
I feel like there is obvious tension…. I don’t know how to Handel it, he’s a dear friend so I guess I’m afraid that if he doesn’t feel like I do it will hurt our friend ship .
I usually have good response with the men I’m attracted to and they get the hint and make the first move. So this is different because he doesn’t make moves, even though we’ve been in pretty good predicaments to make something happen…. I’m confused . Any words of advise? Fellas what does this sound like to you?

Reply February 23, 2015, 11:09 am

Lakia Dula

I just don’t understand my ex boyfriend said that i was the sexiest woman he has been with and I am I’ve seen his ex’s and I am. Now he lives like 2 hours away from me and one day he randomly messaged me on facebook saying that he misses the people he left behind he didn’t say me directly and then he told me that he is moving back towards were i live and he said he wanted to meet up again.. And he told me not to be offended if he doesn’t message me on fb again because he said he is going through some things and is focused on bills and his kid? Am I a distraction ? why is he avoiding me?

Reply February 20, 2015, 9:16 pm


He wants to meet up? Could be for romance, or could be a booty call. Looks aren’t everything, if they were, he would still be with “the sexiest woman he has been with”, or perhaps his relationship with you was mainly physical and it never evolved beyond that? He may be busy with bills and his kid, but that doesn’t stop a man from communicating with someone he really cares about. He’s giving you mixed signals, typical guy thing. Be careful. Don’t let yourself be used, physically or emotionally. Put up some boundaries with guys. It’ll keep you from being hurt more than you should be, and it’ll help you find a guy that really, truly desires you. He may have a lot going on, but that’s his issue. We all have things going on in our lives to deal with. If he needs time to deal with his life, then give it to him. Sounds like he needs time to sort things out….but again, beware of the booty call if you really want to establish something more with this guy.

Reply February 21, 2015, 9:14 am


Hi Joey! I have a boy problem. I’m not going to say I’m in love, I’m only sixteen. I do, however, feel a STRONG affection for an eighteen year old boy from my church. He has told me that he likes me, then that he doesn’t know how he feels, then that he wants to be with me but it isn’t the right time, then that he doesn’t want what I want and I am so confused! He wants to talk about “us” tomorrow, but I don’t trust that he will be completely honest while he’s sober. He manages to have an effect in me that keeps me from saying what I need to for fear that he will become upset. What should I do?

Reply February 19, 2015, 10:09 am


Ruth, well sorry I got to this a bit late. How did the talk turn out? One thing I noticed, is that you said you don’t trust he’ll be honest with you while he’s sober…how often do you see him under the influence? That’s a red flag to me. And why are you afraid of telling him how you feel and getting him upset? So we have a guy that 1) Is using drugs to feel better and 2) Makes you feel like you can’t be open with him on how you really feel? You don’t need to tell him all the feelings you have for him. If he’s wishy washy he’ll have to eventually move past that – and leave the drugs behind so he can deal with himself properly, and effectively communicate his feelings toward you. He probably knows what he wants, but he doesn’t want to commit to one person yet, or he’s just afraid about making the wrong decision. You need to keep a handle on your feelings – they can cause you to have affections for someone that wouldn’t be a good companion. Look at the obvious signs. I don’t know if you have, but make sure you don’t ever begin a physical relationship with someone like this – they can and will break your heart and leave you in shambles.

Reply February 21, 2015, 8:27 am


I’d like to make a short reply on this; I usually don’t do this but it’s cold her and I’m bored. Okay, you have a crush….probably one of your first ones. Don’t like the while he’s sober line in there with church. TO help, being you are young–make this happy.light hearted…I know you have all these hormones”feelings” so it’s hard sometimes–try fun, dates….even with friends. bowling, church events, school events, picnics with the family, shopping for a gift for your Mom’s birthday…stuff like that. and yes, even hang out with him and his friends too…there’s got to be something you can do–super bowl party, whatever.I’m much older and all I can say is have fun now…because as you get older, life and relationships get much more complicated. Hopefully, your church is offering advice on you know “waiting for the right one”. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t flirt some…Remember, you are the one who sets the rules on what a guy can and cannot do with/to set the boundary—that will make it easier.He has to fit into your boundary–you are the young girl. Any church should be teaching you about values. Don’t count on the guy to have them–you set the rule on that one. The last thing this 18 year old wants is serious relationship–that’s why I suggest dates with friends..have fun.

Reply January 20, 2016, 6:01 pm


I really like this one guy in my class and my friends try to get me to talk to him, but every time I try to talk to him I get all nervous. Plz help me -(-///-)-

Reply February 18, 2015, 7:47 pm


Capria – You’re not alone, guys get the same way. Find out a few thing he’s interested in, or involved in. Come up with a few questions related to those things that you can ask him…or even better, ask for his help on something that he’s good at. If he has a good grade, maybe ask for his help on some homework, maybe even working out a time to work together on it. It may get you headed in the right direction and eventually develop into something more…or it could be fruitless. Either way, it’ll give you good practice talking with guys you like and are nervous around, instead of practicing letting fear be a giant obstacle. You’ll see pretty quickly it’s not as big of deal as you thought!

Reply February 21, 2015, 7:45 am


i been talking to this guy for a week,when we met we had a god time & stuff. we kept in contact with each other but now he doesnt reply & blames on work & him moving to fast with life. Friday i told him lets hang out just me & him, he wanted to bring his friend i told him no . what do i do ?

Reply February 18, 2015, 5:55 pm


Sounds like something may’ve changed. Either he’s telling you the truth, or he’s no longer interested in pursuing you. Let him move on with his busy, “fast” life. You really don’t want a part of that. He may come around later on, but for now just take what he said at face value, and don’t make any assumptions.

Reply February 21, 2015, 7:35 am


Joey I feel so heartbroken, I feel inadequate. Just feel like I wasn’t good enough I know I shouldn’t. Feel that way and that I’m not inadequate but I just can’t help the way I feel. It’s like in my head I know I’m ok and that it’s his loss, but in my heart I keep feeling like I there’s something wrong with me, mayb I wasn’t pretty enough, or fun enough or interesting or I loved too much. Do you get?

Reply February 17, 2015, 9:01 am


Bella – Actually it’s pretty normal to feel those things, especially after what you just went through. I know it doesn’t feel “good” to feel them, but keep this short phrase close to your heart: “This too shall pass”. It won’t last forever, but make sure you’re not feeding the fire either. Allow yourself to get over it, just let the feelings come as they may. Something isn’t wrong with you – this guy wanted to use you and act out of line. Let the grieving process do its thing, then let it go and embrace the idea of moving on. Don’t be a slave to your feelings. They don’t always tell you what’s true and what’s good. They just appear – sometimes due to chemical imbalances, sometimes they’re legitimate, and sometimes it’s something else.

Nobody can be “everything” to their significant other – ever. We’re not meant to be. No matter how pretty, or funny, or successful, or interesting you are, it will never ultimately fulfill the deep longings of the heart for someone else – even a “soulmate”. You can never love too much, just make sure it’s real love and not lust, or idolatry, or covetousness, envy, etc. Love at it’s highest level is willing to sacrifice life for life, with no strings attached. Work on being someone that can love to the fullest, forgive, nurture, encourage, teach….and also receive correction. Be humble. Be loyal. Commit yourself to these things in healthy balance, and understand that in life lows will come so that we can greater appreciate the highs.

Reply February 17, 2015, 8:37 pm


Thanks Joey, you’ve been a great help to me. Thanks.

Reply February 18, 2015, 9:49 am


I am not a coworker just a friend of the family. That was asked to take him to work, he has no other way at this time. Did not mean this to happen it just did. He will have his drivers license soon. I am helping him to get them. Then I will not see him as munch.

Reply February 15, 2015, 7:29 am


Forgot to tell He knows that I am gay also.

Reply February 14, 2015, 4:31 pm


If you know he’s straight, what are you hoping for? Don’t let every feeling be your guide…just be a friendly coworker, and if that is too difficult to handle emotionally then have him get a ride to work with someone else so your heart can move on.

Reply February 14, 2015, 9:26 pm


I am 63 year old male. I feel in love with a guy that’s only 22 years old. He is straight. I take him to work for his grand mother. I feel in love with him almost that first time I picked him up for work. It has been about 6 months now that I have been taking him to work. We are very good friends to him, but I love him and I want to tell him but I don’t no how well he will take it and I do not want to jeopardize are friend ship. What should I do or do not do?

Reply February 14, 2015, 5:54 am


Hi I need help. Okay so my crush knows that I like him. He likes all my pics on facebook but we dont talk. He is very shy. Earlier whenever he came in front of me I turned around and now he does the same thing with me.

Reply February 12, 2015, 9:08 am


Aniahh – You’ll need to provide some more details on your interactions with him. Are you saying that whenever he approached you, you would turn your back on him? Now he’s doing the same to you? Well if that’s true, you’ve given the impression that you’re not interested in talking with him – even though you “like” him. Btw, how does he know that? Are you 100% sure you portrayed that to him properly? Sounds like you both need to just work on communication. Perhaps start with chatting online, then move to a quick discussion. What you may want to do is approach him, and ask for his help with something – maybe something he’s good at or really interested in. That could ignite a conversation, but don’t hang in there too long talking and talking. Bring it to an end after a few minutes or when you think it’s a good time without being rude, and tell him something like “Ok! Let’s talk about this more later…thanks for your help! Meet me at …” Think it through. That may help bring down the barrier for him. Perhaps there’s a way to get this same advice through some friends of yours and his so he can do the same thing to you! You have nothing to lose…

Reply February 12, 2015, 7:41 pm


Hey, so I’m in love with a guy, hence why I’m here. Recently I had the guts to ask him on a valentines date. He said yes! Unfortunately we both work that day so we decided we’d go on another night. However when I text him my schedule a day ago and suggested a day he still hasn’t gotten back to me. I get that people get busy I know. I just figured if he wanted to go on a date he’d be more enthusiastic about it. He seemed pretty happy when I asked and over all he’s an extremely honest guy and doesn’t seem like the type to say yes to a date if he didn’t want to. Am I over thinking everything?

We tease each other constantly, we can talk for hours without getting bored. He’s told me things he normally doesn’t tell others, I’ve seen him get emotionally and he’s held me while I’ve sobbed over a crisis. He’s been there for me more times than I can count. Surely those are signs he has feelings towards me?

Reply February 12, 2015, 12:48 am


Shae – Sure, he definitely has feelings towards you, in my opinion. Does he feel what you feel? Maybe, maybe not. Have you talked with him at all since? Just send him a gentle reminder from time to time…or when you see him next say something to him. There’s a lot of reasons why he may not have responded to you by now…I’m not going to speculate. The verbal commitment has been made though, which is good. Lets see if he follows through or not. Be patient. If he shrugs it off constantly then he may’ve changed his mind. I’ve had girls commit to a date, then suddenly fade off not long after…not sure exactly why but probably for some of the same reasons a guy would do the same thing. People can be finicky…I know, it sucks but it’s true. Good luck

Reply February 12, 2015, 7:33 pm


Ok joey I know u prolly tired of hearing from me by now, but I jst saw a picture of my bf and a girl, in diff postures, she was sitting on his laps in one, she was standin with her leg on him in another and him holding her bum, he was holdin her in another, I think he’s cheating on me, what do I do? Do I confront him, I was looking thru his emails wen I saw it so I wasn’t actually supposed to see it, I was kindoff snooping I know that’s not right but I just wanted to know watsup, my hands are shaking as I type this. What do I do?do you think he’s cheating?

Reply February 11, 2015, 3:20 pm


Well, he might call that “hanging out” and “having fun”, which is “fine” if that was someone else’s bachelor party and she was the “stripper”, but if my g/f were in those pictures doing those things while I was dating her, I would probably break up with her. Why? Well, that doesn’t demonstrate discretion on her part. I prefer someone who knows how to be more discreet and not provoke men. You, and others, may disagree. If you would like a man to keep his hands to himself, then I don’t think it’s asking much. Looking through his emails may be crossing the line, because you should trust him, but you obviously don’t. This won’t end here either…even if he has a good excuse. You’ll probably never trust him out with others again. I don’t know if he has a “relationship” going on with this girl behind your back or not, it may be her just flirting with everyone there, including him. Maybe the pictures are from before you were with him. Either way, you may want to think about what type of guy you are with, what his intentions are/were, and if you should move forward with him. Sometimes people deserve second chances, etc. If you ask him about the photos, he may go off on you for snooping and be so upset that he won’t want to explain the content of the pics to you. You haven’t trusted him for a little while now, he doesn’t pay attention to you, doesn’t consider your feelings in regards to affection and acknowledgement, you’re not married to him, and there’s no kids involved. I think that’s a recipe to leave and start new before it gets worse. He needs to grow up. You should work at finding better men by filtering the ones you meet through a strict “boundary” regimen. And…make sure you hold yourself to that same standard…hope this helps Bella

Reply February 11, 2015, 6:34 pm


Thanks joey, I ended things with him, don’t think he’s the right guy for me. He said it was just harmless fun, but I feel he can have fun without touching another girl. Thanks for your advice.

Reply February 12, 2015, 1:47 am


Good for you Bella! Glad I could help. I wish the best for you in your future relationships…

Reply February 12, 2015, 6:35 am


so there’s this boy I’ve known since 8th grade and I liked him ever since I saw him. we became best friends but I still secretly liked him. I was there when he was dating other girls and he even dated my best friend at the time. I waited and waited for him to like me back but he never did. and he also knew that I liked him but I would tell people I didn’t because I didn’t want him to think I still liked him for that long. I’m now in the middle of 10th grade and I’m still head over heels for him. I’ve told him recently that I don’t feel that way about him and idk if he believes me or not. but Ive never had my first kiss and he’s super duper touchy with me. he will always be super close to me and randomly grab my hand and look at me and not look away and just stare at me and when I finally stare at him he just tells me I’m pretty or that he loves me. and I can’t help but notice that he keeps trying to kiss me because he’s always staring at my lips and teasing me about not kissing anyone and has gotten super close to kissing me many times. I don’t know if he just wants to be my first or if he likes me? he never texts me, I’m the one to text him first all the time. but at school HES the one who approaches me and gets super touchy with me. I don’t know what to do. I want to believe that he likes me but I don’t want to get my hopes up.

Reply February 10, 2015, 10:22 pm



Reply February 11, 2015, 6:44 pm


Payge – yeah he likes you. He’s really confident around you too. However, all this time has gone by and he hasn’t approached you for a date yet? Wow, you’re so amazing to him that he’s delaying asking you out and thereby taking the chance of you being picked up by someone else? It’s not that he’s shy or nervous around you, so I think we can eliminate that. He may just respect your friendship and likes teasing you as a friend. Doesn’t sound real mature if he’s tempting you knowing that you haven’t kissed anyone before, and that you probably like him still. Doesn’t sound like a great “friend” to me. Keep some distance. Find other interests and activities. Build yourself into a wonderful young woman. Don’t spend any energy trying to make him feel jealous, notice you, etc. Just be YOU, and work on some things to make a better you. Read some books on relationships. Pray – ask God to free your heart (this could be a form of idolatry and covetousness). Seek wise counsel, especially from your parents, grandparents, etc. Having their support can make it feel like you’re not alone with your feelings. It may be hard to talk with them about it, but it might be one of the big steps to making a better you. Oh, another thing, don’t let your feelings push you around…which is easier said than done. It can leave you depressed if you go on without having those feelings returned. Find a PERSON to love and be loved by. Don’t chase feelings that a person can bring. Feelings come and go like the wind.

Reply February 11, 2015, 6:57 pm


Hi Joey. I have been dating this guy for 3 years now and he has helped me through everything. Recently he asked me to marry him and now we are engaged!! I was head over heels for him but then I found out he was out with another girl one night and had sex. I spent the next three months crying my eyes out. He came back to me and said he was sorry and I hit him multiple times with my heels. After he left I went onto a dating site where I found a man. His name is Chris and we have been dating for 4 days. He took me to a beach where we had sex in the water! Best thing ever by the way. And after I cummed he proposed holding my breasts. We instantly got married on a cruise together. To summ it up, what is wrong with me?

Reply February 9, 2015, 11:54 pm


Hazel – That’s a interesting question. I’ll tell you what I think is wrong based on the comments you made – which were very contradictory and confusing. You wrote about 2 different men, both in the present tense. Your third sentence and second to last sentence are baffling if taken at face value.

Anyway, I think we are both in agreement that this behavior was erratic. You threw yourself into the arms of another man pretty quickly, especially right after your ex tried to fix things with you. It sounds like it was done on a whim and in the throws of lust – not a good combination if you’re truly seeking intimacy. I would advise you to seek professional advice. Your marriage can work, but you need to ask yourself if you’ve truly dealt with any bitterness and resentment from your previous relationships. If not, those things will follow you into any relationship and will rear its ugly head eventually – destroying you and others in the process. Do yourself a favor Hazel – and own where you are at. Just analyze yourself and don’t give any excuses. You have already acknowledged that something is “wrong” anyway – which was the first big step, so now it may be time for the next step.

Reply February 10, 2015, 7:24 am



Reply February 9, 2015, 2:30 pm


He plays with other girls, dotes on them, chats but he isn’t like that with me, half the time I feel like I’m disturbing, or I’m only good enough for sex, and it hurts terribly, i’m just lonely. Beginning to think he might be cheating on me.

Reply February 6, 2015, 6:29 pm


Well, 9 months is plenty of time to have direct communication with him about how you feel. After all, if you’re going to be in a lasting relationship with him, you and him will have to hash these things out, communicate, be honest, etc. Sounds like he likes female attention, and if he’s not affectionate in public, you should tell him that being somewhat affectionate when out together would be very reassuring. You’re having sex with him though, which complicates things because, as you said, you already feel like you’re only “good enough” for sex, which probably means you’re starting to feel used. Just ask him if he wants to be with you anymore, tell him the concerns you have that you mentioned here. Just open up. If he gets defensive, angry, changes subject, trivializes it, etc. then your gut instincts may be right. What then? Well you’re not married to him, so you can walk away. Get into the habit of establishing some boundaries in your relationships to prevent from being used. Guys use women all the time because it’s easier than establishing boundaries, which they often don’t know how to do – or if they even should. If you’re “his” and he’s “yours”, then you should be treated with more affection, honor, and love. Don’t expect it 24/7, a guy has to live and breathe too…but there should be a balance. Just because he doesn’t feel comfortable with affection doesn’t mean he should ignore making adjustments. ALL relationships require adjustment and compromise, and it starts via communication. Good luck

Reply February 7, 2015, 8:06 am


Thanks joey, I tried talking to him but he said I should leave those things for children, but then I told him it wasn’t childish that I just wanted intimacy and affection and he said he was sorry, I just feel like when a guy really loves you certain things should come to him naturally, I feel like I’m forcing stuff, he swears he loves me tho, and anytime I talk about breaking up he begs me to stay, He used to be a lot more distant but when I told him I could be in such a cold relationship he made very obvious changes we use to see like once a week but now we see like four or 3 times a week, I don’t know what to make of him.

Reply February 7, 2015, 10:36 pm


He started calling more, and texting more.

Reply February 7, 2015, 10:42 pm


Hi Bella – Well if he’s responding more, then that’s a good sign I think. However, if he thinks affection is childish – that’s a big red flag. It may mean he has a lot of pride and he’s not used to showing affection… so he trivializes it. It also shows a lack of respect for what deeply matters to you. It’s not like you requested him to do something outrageous that would hurt him, you, or someone else. Although, you don’t want him hanging on you, smothering you all the time, always talking to you and petting you while out with friends, etc. That’s not balance, and it exudes neediness. I’m assuming you have a good handle on what balance looks like, but it doesn’t hurt to look at your desires and get a sense if they are off base at all (such as coming here). Sometimes friends and family can give you great advice on whether your requests are valid. All I have to go on is your description and I don’t know anything about you as a person…so I’m just saying my advice is to be taken tenuously. SO, you can simply give it some more time and see how he responds over the coming weeks/months. It’s up to you. He may be addicted to the physical aspect of your relationship, and afraid of not having a girl around to give him company rather than actually loving you. This is where strict boundaries can help identify if he cherishes YOU as a person, or just a hangout buddy that has some physical benefits. I don’t mean to sound old fashioned, but it works if you’re really trying to figure out his feelings as you move forward in the relationship with him.

February 9, 2015, 7:37 pm


I’m not childish by the way, i’m 23 and he’s 26.

Reply February 6, 2015, 2:13 pm


Ok, so I feel like when I’m hanging with my boyfriend and his friends he wants me to disappear or something, I don’t know the right word to use, yea he talks to me but it feels like there’s a barrier, he won’t hold my hand, or act affectionate, and I don’t know how to bring it up with him, how do you explain to a guy that you want to be acknowledged, you want to hold hands in public, u want ur pictures put up on instagram, u want him to give u a bit of attention and actually talk to uu even when we hanging out with others without sounding childish. Sometimes it feels like he’s attentive to everyone but me. He uploads pictures of other girls on instagram, Has so many other girls calling him and him calling. I just feel like I’m outside the loop withh him, and we’ve been together for 9months.

Reply February 6, 2015, 2:09 pm


Ever since my sophmore year my friend and i would talk all the time. Last year i started getting feelings for him. We would have picnics every other week and watch our favorite show. In the beginning of the year we would still be talking all the time but once he turned 18 he completely changed with me, he stopped talking to and acknowledging me. But when we are around other people he talks to me and flirts. And then it starts all over again where he ignores me. Ive tried talking to him but he ignores me. Did i do something wrong?

Reply February 6, 2015, 9:00 am


Dominique – He probably doesn’t have a romantic interest, just a friendly one. Those feelings developed for you, but may not have developed as much for him. It’s hard to tell. Perhaps the friendship ran its course for him – but he doesn’t have ill feelings toward you – so he jokes with you sometimes. If you want, write him a letter. Just tell him that you enjoy spending time together and miss your friendship. If he responds, whatever he tells you, just take it at face value. We can speculate all we want, but it won’t do any good. He may have a romantic interest that has captured his attention – who knows. The separation may be a good thing if he doesn’t have those feelings for you…it’ll help you to move on. Feelings are strange at this age…don’t take it too personally (easier said than done). Just take it as it comes, don’t look to much into these things. Focus your life on moving outward and forward, and don’t let rejection turn into bitterness. Let your love for others trump your pride every time.

Reply February 7, 2015, 8:57 am


At the start of year 7himhad a crush on my true love and this is my first crush. Luckily I was in the same form as hI’m I started to look at him and tried grabbing his attention to me but that didn’t work so in year 8 now I went to my cousins house and I met his neighbour and I got his phone number of her and she gave it to Me but now he says to give him sweets so I do but then today he said that why did I get his number and that I am a big liar because I used to say that I will bring him sweets but not everyday so today he said that he doesn’t like me but I truely still know that he does because he still looks at me.

Reply February 3, 2015, 4:16 pm


You have to chill out girl. If he says he doesn’t like you then move on. If he does he will come running after you later.

Reply February 3, 2015, 10:29 pm


To be honest (not trying to be rude) you’re in the creepy love phase. Every girl has this with some guy, usually around your age. Getting his number from a neighbor can look creepy and stalkerish to him. I say, completely ignore him. I think hes taking advantage of you liking him. Just dont talk to him until you’re both mature, and if you still like him, and he likes you, then go for it. Dont push “true love”. Also, relationships tend to last longer when youre not in school. High school lovers almost never make it. So just wait, and maybe he’ll come back in your life.

Lots of love,

Reply February 19, 2015, 11:26 pm


I had a crush on this guy since like last year. I think he also thought the same bcuz he always shows signs like he likes me. That happens everytime were in tuition class last year.This year, we are classmates. I was like YAY bcuz I still have a crush on him without telling the truth to him and everyone. But now, I think he does not like me anyomore bcuz we seldom talk. But I think he has a little feeling to me. Please help me. Is he still have a xrush or me or not?

Reply February 3, 2015, 12:46 pm


I don’t have any idea if he likes you or not. There’s not much to go on. Talk to him. Get to know him some more if possible. Invite him to lunch or something where you can talk about your class then get to know each other more. Find out if he’s seeing someone or not. Be friendly and inquisitive, but don’t be needy. If you don’t something may not ever get generated between the two of you…or you can just move on.

Reply February 5, 2015, 6:43 am


I’m in love with this guys 11 years now and I’ve known him 12 years. 3 years after we met, I find out we’re 3rd cousins. I was already in too deep. The first year of loving him, I told him I liked him at least 3 different times. His response was, so what do I want to do? & do I want to kiss. After I tell him how I feel, everything is always awkward the next day. He was only 12 then, I was 15. I didn’t kiss him. He tried kissing me countless times subtly but I never gave him the chance. He always finds an excuse to touch my hands, even now. He stares at me without looking away, I only see love, when we’re hanging with others. He is super handsome btw and I’m average. He had a lot of girls. He was with a bad crew, my other cousins, he started drinking and he still does. Only when he drinks he approaches me, he always flirts and the next day it’s like a different person. He’s more serious and chill and it’s like I’m a total stranger, he never talks to me. He always introduces me as his cousin. Well at 16, my aim was to make him jealous. I would always talk to guys on the phone in front him just for the satisfaction of seeing him angry. He told me I like too much men. My goal from then till now was to make him jealous, make him want to be with me. I fell for a guy at 17 and he became my first boyfriend. I can’t remember what my crush well the love of my life did to me, but at 18, he probably cursed me or something and I left him behind for 7-8 months. I limed with his crew as they were my cousins. Months after he sent his bff my cousin, to call me. I was hanging with my cousins/friends. I went, he was crying. He ran away the month before I heard. He fell in love with a girl but she had to move back to New York, a different country. I’m from the Caribbean. He was depressed, he had family issues as well. He apologized crying, drunk, I told him apologize when you’re sober. He said he will. 3 weeks after I was trapped awkwardly alone in my brother’s room with him, he just said I know I didn’t call. I couldn’t, I feel nervous around you when I’m sober. This year, he hugged me on his couch while his sister ( best friend) was sleeping. He even bought me food and canceled his Christmas eve plans and brought the lime to me, at his house. I was spending it there alone. I’m not a people person. I was not expecting anybody to be home. He told his friend I wasn’t well. That was a lie. It was suspicious that night, he almost had them leave early so it would be just us. It was uncomfortable because I didn’t know him or spoken to him in person in years. I made it noticeable and he made them stay. I came on to him, a week after kissing his neck and biting his shoulders and we even kissed. He stuck his tongue in my mouth after I teased him and we kissed for 6 seconds before I pushed him away, his finger was sliding over my private area in front. He whispered desperately for me to stay that night. Actually everytime we’re drunk he never wants me to go home. I went back old years night to spend it alone at his house and he was in a good mood ready to head out to lime. He hugged me like nothing happened and say happy new years Woo Hoo. I was devastated. I felt so used. He left with his friends. I was there alone at his house. Don’t forget that’s also my best friend’s house. She was at my mother’s for Old Years service. We don’t have the same beliefs. I don’t keep friends, only her. I was woken up by her phone call 2 am saying she’s coming. I assume he was home at 1 am bc I was having the worst New Years 12 am, then I struggled and finally fell asleep, surprisingly strong too. I got up to see him in his bedroom sleeping ( the door always open). I was surprised because usually when he hangs with them, he comes home like 6 am. The following day, I called him telling him I need to talk to him. Please don’t set me up, if you’re not going to come, just say so and don’t have me waiting. He said ok he’ll come now, he has to go home first and have a bath. 2 hrs after, bff told me, he’s home and he knocked out in the bathroom (sleeping). He got super drunk. Odd because, his stomach is alcohol strong. He slept the whole day. No phone call from him, no text. I failed to mention, during the making out, I told him he’s so perfect, I kissed his heart. He told me he can’t fall in love. He had me on top him with our clothes on, pulling my ass onto his d*c*, I was moaning and he stopped after 1 minute and I continued. He asked me if he could hug me, I said yes, he did. I was between his legs, he kissed my forehead unexpectedly and we slept away. So he stood me up. My birthday was 22nd January. My bff ask him and his friend to take me out for my birthday. I didn’t want to but she managed to convince me, they wanna hang out. His bff told me and my bff, the love of my life ( he didn’t use those words), planned for us (4 of us) to go to the beach. That beach was mostly for couples, it was romantic but cool to hang as well. Our lime was in the night. We were drunk, as usual he approached me. We had fun, he had me laughing. On the way back, his bff asked me if to drop me home or if I’m staying over by my bff’s house. My bff and the love of my life said she’s (me) spending the night. I did. He told me he loves a school teacher. I told him I didn’t want a relationship because he’s an alcoholic and my father is one, I promised myself to never go with one because they’re abusive. I told him I loved him for so long until I realized how serious it is, we’re 3rd cousins. He wasn’t making sense, he pulled me but gently and desperately saying, we are not. He was trying to convince me. Weird, because, he always introduces me as his cousin. I should mention, I told him trust is earned and he never gave me a reason to trust him. He told me to trust him. He was telling me to watch him in his eyes. He sounded so deep. He said he wouldn’t lie to me. He’s protective over me as much as he is, his own sister and mother. <– His words. Night ended with us cuddling. He spend the whole time kissing on my neck and nibbling my ears. He almost sucked my finger but I pulled away. He did already the first night though, I let him. His father caught us cuddling a couple of times. His father came home quiet and angry. He stopped kissing my neck abruptly even though his father was home like 35 minutes before. I thought something was wrong with me. I asked him after, he called me in his room. He told me he was trying not to get me in trouble. He pushed in his door and held my face to kiss me. That would've been super hot but I pulled away. I told him I thought he had feelings for me that's why I did all this before but then him standing me up that day, I realized he didn't. He took a while to explain how he's different from other guys, how all of his exes are good with him and he left all of them I asked him what is he scared off.Everything went blank there. I was drunk. He told me lie on top of him, I did. He said I'm like a teddy ( no I'm slender). He came on top me kissing my neck, dry humping me and I stopped him. He asked me to kiss my stomach. I let him. He said he liked it. I was about to push him away again, and he bit me and said that's for teasing me! Lol, He asked to hug me again and I said yes. We were about to fall asleep, when he said: Nothing we do is in vain, I like you and it's up to you what you want to do with that. My hand was in his and I rubbed it gently with my thumb and we fell asleep. Okay my question is, what's up with him?

Reply February 1, 2015, 1:58 pm


When did all of these things happen? Recently? If the two of you can’t enjoy each other without alcohol involved, that’s a red flag. Also, he seems shy and unsure about himself and his feelings for you. You’ve known each other a long time, and he hasn’t made a real move to get you to be his yet….so he’s nervous. That’s what he said. You need to be very careful with a guy like this, you could end up hurt even more, or pregnant. This whole thing doesn’t sound stable. Use caution.

Reply February 7, 2015, 7:35 am


I failed to mention I’m super shy and awkward when I’m sober. Yes this was recent, this year Jan 22nd. We haven’t seen each other since. Nothing unusual, we never text, or call. I believe he’s getting to know another girl. Before I told him I love(d) him ( I also told him I didn’t want a relationship because he drinks too much and my father drinks and he’s abusive), he told me he loves a teacher ;/. Why would he love another girl and be sticking to me and kissing me up, even kissing my forehead before we sleep. Remember, he approaches me when we’re drunk and 2 times in 12 years I’ve ever responded and hugged/kissed him. I used to be quiet when drunk, he would try to get me to tell him about myself. I never did. He would talk. Now i’m full of questions and he’s quiet. Looks like he doesn’t care. He was in love with another girl, he called her ‘the one’ in 2011, last I asked him about her (Jan 22), he said she was perfect. I don’t know what to do. I would be embarrassed to see him next time, supposing he has a girlfriend now. I really want to be his girl.

Reply February 10, 2015, 2:00 pm


Thank you so much Joey! I appreciate your time and your wisdom.

Reply February 10, 2015, 2:04 pm


I’m depressed about everything. The guy I was almost in love with played with my feelings. I am now falling off a cliff of depression. I can’t get out of it. I’ve already tried so hard with him and then he tells me me loves his ex. Do you think the whole time he was playing me up that he thought all we were was friends that flirt with each other then he ignores me. I am so sad. We even planned a date. At least I thought we did. ;(

Reply February 1, 2015, 1:19 pm


Mia – as I said before, you don’t want any part of that love triangle. It’s probably a blessing. Don’t allow yourself to be taken hostage by your feelings. What exactly are you in love with, him or your feelings for him? Most of the time it’s the latter, not the former. Allow yourself to come down from this properly, and don’t beat yourself up. You’ll get there – but don’t dwell on him.

Reply February 5, 2015, 7:05 am


I… have a problem. There’s this guy that I’ve known for almost the whole of my life but we were just like aquaintences and didn’t really talk much. I just knew about his existence and he had his own fair share of relationships but recently we just suddenly started talking alot because of this common topic and gradually it went from just texting to walking home together (we live near each other) just for casual conversations. Then things started to get awkward cause his friends would see me and make teasing remarks. Most of the time, I just simply brush them off and ignore them, but all of a sudden, he just became… cold. He’d just not reply/continue the conversation and I just really hate it when people ignore me. So I shrunk back too and everything just… disappeared. The casual convos, the texting… but he’s a guy. And I don’t understand these creatures, because even when he ignores me, he’d see me in school and drop everything he’s doing just to say “Hi” or wave IF we bumped into each other. Otherwise, he acts as if I’m made of glass and pretends I’m non-existent.

Don’t kill me, but I’m not even 100% sure that I really like him (I’ve never really liked a guy before ;yes, I’m weird and guys don’t even usually see me as a female because I game/swear/have a huge appetite/am a messy person) but I think about him all the time and it’s so lame to admite, but I feel butterflies in my tummy whenever I see him.

If there is even a way to solve this problem, please do help out this poor soul. It is about to drive me insane!!!

Thank you.

Reply January 31, 2015, 7:38 am


Nothing wrong at all with caring for someone, seeing them in a special light. It seems that the walks home, the causal conversations, etc. are what caused you to develop deeper feelings for him. That’s not uncommon at all. Good news is, you can move on and find other guys that are more interested. It’s not that he doesn’t care at all…but perhaps his friends teasing you bothers him too and he wants to keep them away so as not to upset you, but he may still have positive feelings for you, since he acknowledges you at school and what not. He may not be ready to be in a romantic relationship with you though. He may just feel very comfortable with you…which is a good thing. However, you may want to keep some distance in order to protect your heart from going into emotional distress. In the meantime, enjoy being YOU! Sounds like you have amazing qualities – but life is about change and adjustment also. Continue to engross yourself in uplifting and encouraging activities to engage your mind in positive growth. Your brain “remembers” 100% of what you see and hear, and it changes you ultimately – that’s what the neurosurgeons say at least. So, if that’s true then keep the “bad” stuff out as much as possible…focus on loving others and not as much on how they feel toward you. You’ll truly benefit moving forward.

Reply January 31, 2015, 9:49 am


This guy told me he liked me the other day and j told him that I may like him too! I used to glance his way almost every 20 seconds but I caught myself and decided I would try to fix it cause I think he would think I was creepy. But the catch is that he looked my way the same amount, most of the time we would look into each others eyes and then quickly look away. I fixed it an I try not to look at him as much but now he doesn’t seem so much into me? Do you think he might think I dont like him as much? What should I do without having a deep convo with him?

Reply January 28, 2015, 6:28 pm


He told you he liked you and you said you might like him? I’m not quite sure what that’s all about., but he may be trying to play the same game you are, you know the game, it’s called “I’m crazy about you but I don’t want you to know unless I am 100% sure you are just as crazy about me as I am about you, and even then I probably still won’t want you to notice me checking you out.” That game is lame. Love is about giving more than receiving. If you’re going to explore that with another person, you will end up having to go out on a limb to some degree. Typically its the guy who does the approach, or else they simply won’t get any women, but they FEAR the approach with great horror often times. Women would benefit from learning the signals they can give a man so he knows you are receptive to him moving in for the approach. For example, the next time he looks at you, hold your eye contact for a second, and smile. If he continues to look, push your hair back over your ear and kind of tilt your bare neck toward him, all while making eye contact and smiling. Then look away, then make eye contact again and smile…give him those puppy-dog eyes. He’ll either get it or he won’t. Repeat if necessary. Touch him on the arm as he walks by and when he looks at you say “have a nice day” with a genuine smile. Practice this in the mirror if necessary so it becomes second nature. He’ll get it eventually. If he avoids, he’s either not interested or he’s nervous. If he’s nervous, he’ll avoid repeatedly until he’s 100,000,000% sure you won’t reject him. Keep reassuring him using the methods above.

Reply January 28, 2015, 10:23 pm


Thanks for the advice, but I just found out that he still “loves” his ex!! How can he tell me he likes me then tell me he is still in love with his ex. And his ex is my best friend…. God! Now i guess I know when we looked at each other I was looking because I thought he was hot and he liked me and he was just looking cause he thinks I’m a creep for looking at him??? Can you help me out. What do you need to know to get this sorted? Anything? I am heartbroken

Reply January 30, 2015, 9:27 pm


By the way. Reese- the guy I likes ex and my best friend, does not want to get back together with him at all. She will probably never date him again.

Reply January 30, 2015, 9:35 pm


Mia – well that’s some information I didn’t know. Is your friend Reese ok with you and him dating at all? If she’s your best friend, she may not like that…that’s a love triangle that may not work out well. Plus, he still has feelings for her – sounds like he needs to sort his feelings out first before dating ANYONE, let alone his ex’s best friend. Just be patient…don’t concentrate so much on this guy. If you do, your feelings will push you off an emotional cliff into depression, anxiety, and despair. I wouldn’t recommend entertaining any feelings for this guy – get to know some other guys. Let a good amount of time go by. I dated my best friend’s ex girlfriend many years ago, it worked for a while but there was a couple years of time in between their break up and our first date. Also, her and I were no longer living in the state. He was fine with it…and happy for me. Things have to be in good order before going that route. Generally speaking, as I already said, it’s not a good idea….but it “can” work. Don’t hang on that though. Your life doesn’t depend on whether this guy likes you back or not.

January 31, 2015, 8:37 am


Thanks. Ugh. I really thought I had something going. And I am really depressed about it. But I guess I’ll have to move on. It may take a while ;(

January 31, 2015, 7:00 pm


okay so I need help .. I liked that guy for about a little bit less than a year . He’s so great and funny and the best of all SINGLE ! I met him at school ! he was my classmate ! then thanks to an art activity we both were partners at ! we became friends .. then best friends ! Its like we were meant to meet .We have the same interests , the same way of thinking , the same personalities and even the same hobbies and skills ! When I look at him its like Im looking at the mirror . Okayy anyways , I want to know whether he likes me or not so here’s some details about his behaviour with/around me .
Okay so he accompanies me everywhere ! Since that boy teased me and he doesn’t let me go anywhere (at the school) without taking him with me ! its so cute .
2- he is a bit jealous at me .. ! he hates when I call 1D cuties ! even though he didn’t admit it ! but I can see it in his eyes ! he also doesn’t like it when I talk to boys or when any boy touches me !
3- We are like tom and jerry ! he teases me .. ALOT ! we never stop teasing eachother whenever we are next to eachother !
4-I was holding something heavy once and asked him to help me so he put his hands on my hands ! and held that thing with me !
5- He sometimes puts my hair behind my ears !
6- He tells me his secrets like he tells me and only me !
7- I caught him staring at me a few times ! and his eyes light up whenever we talk and he never breaks the eye contact between me and him during a conversation !
8- some people at school think that he likes me and sometimes they talk to us as if we were a couple and he doesn’t really deny it ! he just laughs and sometimes blushes !
There are million of things he does but I’m just confused because sometimes he does thinks that make me think that he just doesn’t like me !! so do you think he likes me or we are just bestfriends ? thanks xx

Reply January 27, 2015, 9:41 pm


Wow, sounds like you both have great energy together! How long has this been going on between the two of you? I can’t be sure, but if he gets jealous when other guys talk or touch you, that could be a definite sign. The fact that he puts your hair behind your ears is also another good sign too. If he likes you, he may be waiting for the right moment to ask you out. Sometimes the next step can be difficult for the guy because he doesn’t know how to do it, the right time to do it, or if you will reject him. Be patient. It may come, but it also may not. Give him subtle hints that you feel more for him than just “best friends”. Perhaps write him a letter about how great your relationship is and how you want to maybe explore the romantic side? Or maybe keep it casual…just ask him what he’s up to on the weekend and if he wants to go to a nice dinner with you, or something where you can dress up real nice (e.g., semi-formal dress- NOT provocative!). Show a slightly different side of you other than the typical “school clothing” you wear. That may get him into a romantic state of mind. Perhaps a fun dance (if he’s the type). You have some options. Just don’t come off as desperate or needy. Set your boundaries too. If you do go out, and you both get hot and heavy…where’s the line? Beware that exploring the romantic side could possibly destroy your friendship, temporarily or permanently, if it doesn’t work out.

Reply January 28, 2015, 9:43 pm


This is a great site to get advice! I think Joey is such a great guy to be giving it too! He has helped me with a lot of things and it doesn’t even matter how old you are, every piece of advice he gives works! <3 this site!!

Reply January 26, 2015, 5:29 pm


Hey thanks a lot for the kind words Mia!!! I’m glad my advice has helped!

Reply January 27, 2015, 9:30 pm


So i’m dating this guy who claims to love me. But he rarely texts, communication between most times is just monosyllabic and 2 mins calls. He doesn’t tell me he loves me, he doesn’t say he misses me, I don’t even know if he misses me cos he hardly ever asks me to come around, when I do go to his place tho, he begs me to spend days with him. He’s not affectionate as in, he calls me by name, hardly suggests an outing or plans our visits doesn’t say I love u or I miss u, hardly uses any endearment on me, am I missing something? We’ve been together for 9months. He says he’s not the emotional type. And he doesn’t like chatting or texting.

Reply January 26, 2015, 2:26 pm


He “claims” to love you but doesn’t say it? That’s a bit confusing…If you’re not happy with his behavior and he doesn’t show interest in changing some things, then 9 months is plenty of time to know whether it’s time to move on. I know you may really be into him, and want to give him a chance, but you’re not married. Marriages go through things like this, and when you’re married one day, you’ll need to be with a partner that doesn’t use excuses as a reason not to WORK at the relationship. Lots of guys don’t like talking on the phone, texting, verbalizing their feelings, setting up dates, etc., but if he wants to keep you he needs to get it together and learn to compromise…or risk losing you. Makes me wonder how he picked you up in the first place. Honestly, leaving him may be the best thing that you can do for him. Who knows, it may just be the “wake-up call” he needs to jumpstart positive change in his life. Good luck!

Reply January 27, 2015, 9:20 pm


I met this guy on a dating app, I hadn’t really liked him at first but decided to go on a date with him just to see if we would hit it off and we did, after three dates I had sex with him, and we continued that over a period of to weeks, I then asked him were we stood over the phone, he said he didn’t like labels or did not make commitments easily, i felt like he was feeding me lines and wanted to end it immediately so I told him to make up his mind and call me when he does, he called later and told me he wanted to date me, fast forward a month now , we have been dating,he has introduced me to his stepmother (who he doesnt like) but I havent seen his father (who he has a close relationship with),on the other hand he has met everyone im close to,he is busy at work and I am in school we text a lot and he calls occasionally,he was living at home when I met him and his stepmother basically told him we couldnt have sex under their roof fast forward again I just helped him to move into a new apartment. He is always attentive in the; beginning provides basic necessities- food, medicine when im sick ask me about ma day, but I feel like when we are together in person he never really listens to what I say or that he is closed off most times. e shows me other girls on his phone in scantily outfits and ask questions like ” why would anyone dress like this?, women are getting so daring now a days” or ” you have to see this girl its ridiculous”, Also when I talk to him sometimes he doesn’t even look at me, nor respond and im feeling like the distance is growing, he is like in this little world sometimes and i feel left in the cold, we have been together a month and wonder if im over analyzing things,he also recently spoke to one of his friends for (reference sake call his friend “bob”) about a comment I made on one of bobs pics and refered to me as “this girl” not his “girlfriend” or even by name…quote from the convo “this girl said you looked goo in your picture”.*sigh* I dont know what to do please help

Reply January 23, 2015, 11:28 am


Sounds like you already have the information you need. I think you know what to do. If not, my advice is: MOVE ON! He’s using you. If you mattered to him, he would’ve introduced you to his dad by now, he’d listen to you, and wouldn’t refer to you as “this girl”. Tell him it’s over. Consider not jumping into bed so early – or at all…unless you don’t mind casual sex and having guys flake out on you. Your intentions are good…but guys too often look at women as objects instead of people. Therefore, you have to play it smarter. Go into relationships with that in mind. Hold to some basic rules and you’ll benefit from it.

Reply January 23, 2015, 9:44 pm


My husband just told me the other day he hasn’t been happy for months he misses his daughter and he wants to go he says our past is holding us back from progress which is true but when he announced he was ready to leave it broke me up really bad I have not thought of our past since he said that to me I didn’t know that I was tearing him apart with my accusations and actions, well not enough for him to leave me because I should have been the one to leave and now we are lying in bed together as I type this but I just don’t feel like we gonna be good because he pretended to be happy I didn’t know he was feeling like this I mean I’m confused should I just let this go im33 and he will be 28 soon what to do

Reply January 22, 2015, 10:22 am


I’m not sure what happened in your past – but is it all in the past? If so, then forgiveness hasn’t taken place for him, so the hurt from the past is in his present. If he’ll ever be able to move on he’ll have to deal with it – and that takes time. If he’s not getting guidance/therapy for that, it may just fester and bleed into another relationship he gets into. Both of you need serious marital counseling. Things can improve, sometimes quickly, but you have to have support – especially from both sides of the family as well. You may want to involve them to some degree and show support around him, not make him feel like getting out is the answer. He probably feels running away will make things “happier” for him, but that’s not usually the case. It’s easier to run than deal with yourself – not to mention someone else. Exhaust your resources. Pray for each other. Revisit your vows (if you had any). Stoke the fire and it can reignite again.

Reply January 22, 2015, 9:19 pm


hi cathy,,, your story almost same with me,, he ever say if he want married with me but i am just LAUGH ,,,but actually in my heart i want… he say that with all people,,and all people laugh too…he always imagine if we have children…but i know it now,,,he just kidding not serious… because he has girlfriend…you know cathy …it’s really hurt,,,i hate him…

Reply January 21, 2015, 10:45 pm


So, there is this super hot dude I had always been attracted to (still am) and eventually we ended up as best friends. Or so I thought.

I mean, I really really like him. I don’t know about him though. Been reading all the posts on ‘how to tell if a guy likes you’ especially the ones that include ‘through texting’ since we don’t meet up much and been texting everyday. Referring to those posts and his’ texts it seemed like he does like me too.

He told me he liked me a few times but I brushed them off as joke. Was i being stupid? I guess it comes from my own issue because I can never understand how would someone like me. Especially someone like him. There are 2 known women who had been pestering him about wanting to be his girlfriend and he rejected them both. And don’t get me started on those girls who gave a vibe of liking him but never actually said so (maybe it’s my paranoia but really the way those girls looked at him was wayyyy over the line)

back to him, how do i know if he was actually serious? I don’t know if he texts other girls that way. Or if he really text other girls. when I asked him he said he only text me. But I don’t know if I can believe that.

He told me he wanted to marry me the other day and can you believe it I LAUGHED at that? How stupid was I? I was so afraid of losing him I couldn’t say yes to that. But I do know I love him and in all honesty I want that. He always joke around so I always take his words as merely joke – so how do I know if he was joking or was being serious?

Oh god I’m so confused it’s killing me

Reply January 20, 2015, 11:08 pm


He told you he liked you, but you don’t believe it. He told you he wanted to marry you, and you didn’t believe it. Why? Because he jokes around a lot. What guy would joke around with you like that? I’m not sure how you ended up as “best friends” but you are going to drive yourself nuts if you don’t distance yourself from the “friend zone” thing. Why don’t you just “joke” back with him and say “So…when are we getting married? Where’s my ring? Shouldn’t we go on a date first??” See what he says. If he blows it off, he’s either scared or not interested.

Reply January 21, 2015, 6:16 pm


So I texted this guy I really like last night and we were perfectly flirting!! Like I was about to explode with happiness cause I didn’t think he was into me. So we ended up planning a date, he was so sweet but then he asked “can you tuck me in?” I felt so weird I thought maybe one of his friends was texting me instead of him to make fun of me. I flipped out and it was actually just him. I felt so bad, I said I was sorry but now he doesn’t seem like he likes me or has time to text me. What should I do? I need an answer asap

Reply January 19, 2015, 5:51 pm


Why does Joey answer some people the day of their post and Mia has been waiting for weeks! Totally not fair.

Reply January 24, 2015, 12:02 pm


Thanks for saying something Lindsay.

Reply January 24, 2015, 12:48 pm


I know this response comes late. Somehow I missed your repeated inquiries…not sure how. I apologize!
It’s hard to say without knowing more about how you reacted to him, but I’m assuming that he may’ve been turned off by your explosion to him joking around. Either way, if he’s interested he’ll be in contact with you. Do you see him somewhere regularly? If so, maybe go up to him and tell him face to face how sorry you are for blowing up, perhaps even take him out to lunch on a weekend. It might sink deeper with him, but as long as you said you were sorry, and it was authentic, I don’t think there’s much else for you to do. In the future, just relax and be calm even if someone is trying to make fun of you. Assume nothing. It’ll make you come off as confident and in control. You will show you can take a joke, or that you’re more mature. Additionally, phone calls will be better than text messages so that you don’t get mixed up on who’s speaking with you.

Reply January 24, 2015, 12:45 pm


i definitely need i have my friend ,, i always talk with him and laugh together with him…until all my friend say with us ” one day me can be his girlfriend ” …but i am just laugh i say we are just friend i think impossible.. because i love with another boy more handsome than him,,,me and him always have competition to get the best rank..and i am so proud with him because he hardwork to pay his school,,, slowly but surely i feel he likes me because when i hangout with my friend i always beside him,,,but now he has a girlfriend,,i am so confuse with my self sometimes i feel jealous sometimes not,,,and since he has girlfriend he never beside me again…. :(

Reply January 19, 2015, 3:40 am


Go up to him and ask him to talk. Tell him how you feel, things will get better, guys sometimes just need to be told what they are doing cause they don’t realize it!

Reply January 25, 2015, 11:22 am


I definitely need advice. So I met a guy on Tinder and I am aware of the skepticism of using an app that has a rep for hook ups. But I thought this was different but, well I met this guy like a few weeks ago. And we were just texting but then he called me and we talked for almost 4 hours on the phone. We had the craziest connection so many things in common. So we finally went out on a date last Friday. And it was good until at the end of the night he rushed in to kiss me and it took me by surprise. So I guess I made it seem like I wasn’t interested. So I messed up there. And ever since then things have been weird I would text him and he wouldn’t reply till like time later. And I finally sent him a text asking him is it that he didn’t like me? And he said not that I made it seem like he was a monster. And I told him he had the wrong idea. That I did want to kiss him but it caught me off guard. I basically told him that I am interested and that I thought there was something there. But that I would let him decide and that it was just one date and that there is no hard feelings. But he never replied to that text. So I guess he’s basically telling me that he’s not interested anymore. But I mean yeah I messed up but it wasn’t that bad. Now he’s ignoring me. It’s like do I have to beg??! I have pride to you know. But I do like him…it’s crazy.

Reply January 18, 2015, 3:03 pm


Hey Ashley, here is my take on your situation. I think you hurt his pride. You tried to fix it by telling him how you feel about him and you have left the ball in his court. Give him time to sift through his feelings and see if he is still on the same page. If he does like you and want to try again he’ll most likely text you. DO NOT TEXT HIM ANY MORE ABOUT THIS SITUATION! Over texting him about it could be viewed as desperate, pressuring him or your bombarding him. I have BEEN this girl, so i do know that the waiting is painful. If he doesn’t message you in a few days, send a nice hey or what up, then see if he responds if not i would suggest moving on. Like you said i was only one date. All the luck in the world. Louise.

Reply January 18, 2015, 3:14 pm


Thank you Louise. That is what I needed to hear.

Reply January 18, 2015, 3:21 pm


Your welcome Ashely, a wise girl told me that too when I was where you were. If it makes you feel any better i kicked him to the side and now im going on a first date tonight and I am scared shitless. I hate first date lol Louise

Reply January 18, 2015, 4:11 pm


I need some advice. I’ve read some of your articles on how to tell if he’s not interested versus interested and I have a situation that may encompass both but I can’t tell. I have a co-worker who I’m interested in. We got together for two weeks or so and he told me he was really into me and he went home with me a few times but he said he didn’t want to have sex. After 3 weeks or so, he backed off completely and shut down. He called me one night to apologize for it and tell me that he couldn’t do a relationship and if he kept hanging out with me, he would want one. He told me that he was terrified of a relationship and that there was stuff I didn’t know, etc. but that we should stop hooking up. I was upset because I didn’t know if that meant that we couldn’t hang out as friends either although since it’s been two months since that conversation, I think he meant that. I see him at work every day and he always stares at me and has good body language signs but he doesn’t text me or call me and the only times we hang out are at work events. Since he sent me that text, we’ve gotten together a few sporadic weekend nights but each time we’re intimate, he doesn’t want to be touched that much or have sex but he still wants to be intimate with me. Most of the stuff I read has said move on but if he comes back with me when we don’t have sex, it doesn’t seem like a booty call. I can’t tell if he’s got something else going on emotionally or if these are signs that he really isn’t interested in me anymore.

Reply January 18, 2015, 11:30 am


Okay. So I’ve had a crush on this guy for maybe like 2 or 3 years now. We’ve dated, broke up (after like 3 days because he wouldn’t do long distance), and we’ve still managed to be ‘friends’ all this time. I only see him about once a year (if I’m lucky) and after every time we see each other again we start talking more but then as time goes by we just slow to a stop. This past time I saw him was for a three day period time and the WHOLE time he flirted with me. I’m not one to notice a guy flirting with me or even begin to think that he may actually like me, but I was like 99% sure he still had feelings for me. It seemed like every time I turned around he was finding some way to just be around me or make physical contact. I probably shouldn’t have asked if he still liked me, but ii did and his response was “as a friend”.. The only problem with all of that is the fact that he had/has a girlfriend. Which makes things soo much more confusing! So my first question is: Why was he showing all the signs of liking me, saying he doesn’t, and whilst have a gf?
Also, my friend, who is a couple years younger than us, admitted to liking him as well on the last night. (I won’t get into how I felt about that bc that’s another story) Anyway, they exchanged numbers and such and began texting like allllll the time, way more than me and him. Months later from this event and he still ONLY replies to her (occasionally me on like Christmas or something) . Which is my second question: Why on earth is he talking to her but not me? Idk if they have something going on or what, it just bugs me so bad. .. I would really appreciate your help or anyone’s for that matter because I am so confused. Thanks in advance xx

Reply January 17, 2015, 4:28 am


Ask your friend if they have something going on. Sounds like there’s “something” there if they’re texting a lot…but it may just be texting and nothing more. Don’t worry yourself too much about what those two are or aren’t doing. Focus on who you are, your life, and what you are doing. I know it must hurt to see him give more attention to someone else (especially your friend) after giving you a lot of attention, and the feelings must run deep since this crush has been going on for several years now. It’s natural. I wouldn’t put a lot of stock into flirting and what it all means though. If he has a woman, then by all means let them have space. He shouldn’t be in a committed relationship with one girl then flirting like he does with you and your friend anyway. Ask yourself if you want to be with a guy like that. Can you imagine him flirting with your friend if you and him were together? However, girls and guys can look at flirting differently. For me, I may joke around with lots of girls…but at the same time not have a romantic interest. I just feel real comfortable with them and have good energy, but I wouldn’t consider it flirting. However there are times where I’ll act the same way but I do have a romantic interest, and I may show other signs like hugging them, rubbing their back quick, touching them on arm/side, etc. Not all guys are the same…and it can be confusing. For that, I’m truly sorry!!
Anyway, for you, there are a couple ways to take things from here. First, you can just move on. You’ve spent a good amount of energy and time longing for this guy, and he’s clearly not on the same page. Perhaps he’ll develop more interest over time and start talking with you more, but until then do your own thing. Besides, you don’t want to be caught in a weird love triangle between you, your girlfriend, and him…do you? Also, he’s long distance, which will only put strain on a possible relationship. Second, you could just come out and tell him how you feel. Perhaps write him a letter explaining everything, or just a face to face or phone conversation. It puts you out there he’ll know exactly how you feel. He already told you he likes you “just as friends” and he doesn’t text you much, so it sounds like you already know where he stands, but perhaps you don’t accept it yet? This is my best advice to you. Hope it helps!

Reply January 17, 2015, 3:43 pm


The other week I went out to a bar that I’ve been to before with my husband. We’ve been having challenges in our marriage, talked about them openly, and contemplated splitting up. He left me all alone for the night, and went off talking with his friends, etc. During this time, I’d been chatting up the bartender when he leaned across the bar, grabbed my hands, and told me that he wanted to have sex with me. I’d noticed him eyeballing me before, so I wasn’t totally surprised. Then throughout the night, he’d touch my back when he walked by me, etc. I was doing a little flirting back, when out of the blue he said, “I could go along with this, but you’re married, and I respect your husband.” He totally cut it off. Was he just playing around to see “if” he could get me?? What a weirdo. Any thoughts, people?

Reply January 16, 2015, 2:30 am


He was sexually attracted to you but decided not to be a home wrecker. Good decision on his part. Do yourself a favor and work at your marriage until you have exhausted all your resources. Involve your family and his for extra support. Marriages are for better or worse, and it’s possible to rekindle it if you both decide to do it. Get some counseling if need be. Don’t just give up. Honor your vows until the end – whether it’s death or divorce.

Reply January 16, 2015, 5:45 pm


Hi Joey, Thanks for your reply. I think you’re right. Sometimes it’s hard to navigate a situation when you’re so invested and involved, and feel like you’re running out of options. Having a totally objective, 3rd party opinion is really valuable. ‘Night!

Reply January 17, 2015, 3:47 am


Thanks Claire! I can imagine it can be very difficult to work through. You have many options left it seems. Don’t let feelings be your guide – commit with your actions/words, the feelings may follow later. There’s hope left. I wish you the best!

Reply January 22, 2015, 9:28 pm


I started talking to a guy a few months ago. I’ve known him since high school and we ran into each other and clicked. We spent practically every weekend and the holidays together. He tells me he really likes me and loves hanging out with me. I just recently noticed his phone is always on silent and he became friends with an ex girlfriend on FB. I had a gut feeling he was chatting with her. This girl is married and he said it’s nothing like that. He said I am not his gf and he has many friends that r girls that he talks to. He said his intentions were not to hurt me because he really likes me and likes being with me. I told him I’m hurt and I need some time and space. I’m not sure what to think or do or if he will ask me to forgive him. Another thing his birthday is coming up and I planned a party for him as well as bought concert tickets for the following month. What do you suggest I do?

Reply January 14, 2015, 6:01 pm


If you’re not in a committed relationship with him, what did he do wrong? Sounds like you developed a deep connection with him already, which is why you might be a little tense about him chatting up his ex, and other girls he knows. He might be playing the field, trying to see where the deep connection will develop for him. He already has made a connection with you – as he said he really likes to spend time with you. When you’re ready, you can start seeing him again if that’s what you want. You may want to cancel the party and go to the concert with someone else though. If/when you do see him again, be cordial, be loving, be honest. Don’t hold grudges. Make sure to put up strict boundaries though until you get the commitment you’re looking for from him. If that means no sex, then no sex. If it means no kissing, then no kissing, etc. He’ll respect that. If he doesn’t, then he doesn’t respect you. In the mean time, chat up some other guys. Good luck Andrea

Reply January 14, 2015, 9:18 pm

Nancy Kingu

Hlw pls help…..another girl posts pictures of my boyfriend or uses his pictures like her profile pictureon social medias when i ask him he says she only wants to cause peoples attention..i dont know what to do pleas

Reply January 9, 2015, 5:35 am


Close down your social media account. Problem solved.

Reply January 11, 2015, 12:32 pm


I met this guy in one of my classes and we ended up being in the same group for an assignment. However, we didn’t really start talking till after the semester was over at which he had asked me out three different times. For each time I couldn’t make it due to work, getting ill (I had let him know the day before the date that I wouldn’t make it), and seeing family as it was over the holidays and I very seldom get to see my relatives. We had finally worked out a date but seeing that I had came from work, I was extremely tired and I think it just made me seem uninterested the whole time. A week later he texts me, but I was a bit taken aback by it because I thought he had moved on. He basically went on to asking me out again. I had told him that I wouldn’t mind seeing him again but January was a really packed month for me, even worst than December had been (the month when we were trying to work out a day). He responded with a ‘if you won’t want to see me anymore it’s fine…’ and I replied with a ‘trust me, I would have let you know that I didn’t want to see you anymore, I just don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep’.

When I get into something with someone I don’t like having my time wasted as I am pretty busy as is. But with a ‘girl’s reputation’ of saying, ‘I can’t, I’m busy’ can mean, ‘I don’t want to see you anymore’ is linked together, it can get confusing and I think it happened with this guy. I also have a hard time with showing emotion at times and during our date, I wasn’t really 100% there with how tired I was. However, before the date, we had flirted over text quite a bit (which I’m also horrible at, but I tried my best) and I really did want to spend more time with him. He had also initiate most of the text message conversations.

He did not respond to the last message about me not wanting to make promises that I can’t keep, but I know for a fact he opened it (it was done through snapchat… Don’t judge). I texted him the next day saying ‘what is your schedule like? If you’d like, we can try to work something out?’ No response. I mean I wouldn’t want to be chasing someone either who constantly made excuses to see me but they were legitimate, I would tell him sometimes how swamped I would be at my internship or how tired I would be after work after picking up extra hours. I actually would want to see him again but I feel as if my emotionless facade made him think otherwise? We currently have no classes together this semester and it would be very unlikely for me to bump into him as the school is quite large. Is reaching out to him twice over text enough and just let everything fall as it should or should I make an extra effort to work something out? Advice?

Reply January 8, 2015, 7:58 pm


Sounds like you’re very busy and you don’t have the time and energy to devote to a man. Don’t worry about turning guys away, they’ll respect it if that’s the truth. In a relationship, you have to have time for each other, and if you don’t, you need to MAKE time by pushing other things out of the way. The busyness of life will always find ways to fill up your schedule. What about time for YOU? Time alone with your thoughts, to reflect…you know, like quiet time. You need that too. Reduce things in your life to the bare essentials. Concentrate on school, your internship, and your personal time. Don’t try to squeeze a guy into your busy schedule – that’s not right. Remember, you’re the one who decided to attend school full time, so that’s on you. Commit to it. See it through until the end. If you are always tired after school/work, then you need to focus more on your sleep, nutrition, exercise, etc. Your mind, body, and soul will benefit, then you can focus more on your other relationships after.

Reply January 9, 2015, 7:45 am


Hi so I have been interested in this guy on and off for the last year. He is funny and outgoing and really hot but I don’t know if he likes me. First he almost hated me it seemed like and then he seemed like he likes me and wanted to get closer to me and talk to me. This was about Two weeks ago. We had plans for him to teach me how to ski cause of course in all of my years I haven’t been skiing. I got really exited and I got a cute new coat and everything. I went to practice one day so I wouldnt embarrass myself. Now he looks at me like he did before but he doesn’t say hi or talk to me at all. I really like him but it doesn’t seem as if he is interested at all. Do I keep trying? Act like I don’t “like” him? Or just keep doing what I am doing aka feeling weird about the whole situation? Should I even bother asking if he is still up for the ski trip? I asked if he was up for it a week ago and I don’t want to nag. Help?

Reply January 7, 2015, 4:19 pm


Can someone help me? Please . I need an answer ASAP

Reply January 10, 2015, 9:36 pm


Go up to him and say “I’m really looking forward to that ski trip so is everything ready to go” in a positive and cheery voice. If he is cold and doesn’t give any firm details then leave it at that and don’t talk to him anymore.

Reply January 14, 2015, 2:09 am


I agree with Paul. If he’s as great as you make him sound, he probably has other girls in his life that think the same way about him as you do, or perhaps he’s just busy and maybe forgot. Just gently remind him of the plans. If he seems aloof or uninterested in following through with his agreement – you may want to move on.

Reply January 14, 2015, 7:28 am


Hi so I have Ben interested in this guy on and off for the last year. He is funny and outgoing and really hot but I don’t know if he likes me. First he almost hated me it seemed like and then he seemed like he likes me and wanted to get closer to me and talk to me. This was about Two weeks ago. We had plans for him to teach me how to ski cause of course in all of my years I haven’t been skiing. I got really exited and I got a cute new coat and everything. I went to practice one day so I wouldnt embarrass myself. Now he looks at me like he did before but he doesn’t say hi or talk to me at all. I really like him but it doesn’t seem as if he is interested at all. Do I keep trying? Act like I don’t “like” him? Or just keep doing what I am doing aka feeling weird about the whole situation? Should I even bother asking if he is still up for the ski trip? I asked if he was up for it a week ago and I don’t want to nag. Help?

Reply January 7, 2015, 4:18 pm


Hi. So I have been dating this guy B for three months. When I met him he told me I he only wanted casual dating. I was okay with that at the time. Then we say each other pretty much 1-3 times a week. He works shift work so some times its more than others. We slept together on our third date and we watched a tone of of movies. We had a fight about where this wad going. He said i wasnt giving us a vhance beacuse i wanted to know that if in three to six months if i asked him to be my bf wpuld.he say yes or automatic just fwb. He got mad and i told him i was not giving up on us just dont wanna break my heart. This lead to text silence for a day then a convo in person and i thought he would end it soon. However he kept spending time with me. He told me how his ex finace was not supportive of him.He came to meet my friends on Halloween. An in November I asked him too meet my family. He said he felt it was too soon. I told him I have never asked a person to meet my family before and I don’t want to pressure him. He then came to an ugly sweater party with me in December as well as two other parties where he even came and met my family. We had our own Christmas and when one of his female friends dropped by with gifts randomly. He got flustered. It didn’t bother me and I told him that. He told me that he thinks she likes him and that she knows he is dating me and that this is why he didn’t want a relationship. I should have called him on that there but I was so excited that he final said he was dating me. By this point he as told me i could keep shampoo at his house and he never commented on if i left something there. He merely said it was there when i needed it. I made sure to take it home with me next time. Before he came to the christmas party i askef him if i could call him my bf yet but he ignoref it. He also pointed out one time that he thinks my friend M likes me. I said no. He seemed realived.
He left for Christmas and we texted through out. He even told me the loved how good I am too him as well as comforting me when my grandfather was sick. He was always does when I’m worried. He even jked about it with my family. Some days we text more then others over the Christmas break. However near the end I found it was more me then him. But he would send me a message. i also asked him to come to dinner with two different sets of friend and a new years drink with just us when he got back and he said he could do that. He also would not say goodnight as much. But if I didn’t get answer it didn’t bug me I’d msged him if I thought of something funny or something he’d like. Maybe too much
We pretty much have talked everyday since I met him. But then he’d said he be home Sunday or Monday. Sunday he texted for a bit then nothing I said goodnight like normal but hockey was on and I always get ignored when hockey. Nothing was too we did he refused to call me my name because everyone else called me that so he calls me hun pretty girl or girl or babe which he was still doing until this morning. Then he told me that he wasn’t home that he was in niagara falls. I said ok well I guess I’ll see you when you get back. He didn’t answer so I may have sent too more msges then told him to have a goodnight. He said “you have a goodnight too. I’m turning my phone off so I don’t get bombarded while I’m in Niagara falls”. I had a mini melt down in my doctors office in the back room. I was sure he was seeing someone else. By the this point he had not flat out told me we were dating each other. I just had the one earlier comment.
I Went to my bffs for dinner and she pointed out roaming charges. I said oh right. Then an hour later he was on facebook and said the only reason his phone was on was for hockey. He even made plans with his bff which is fine I can stay busy without him and he hasn’t seen Alex in a while. Then this girl posted pictures of them. I was like okay. He has lots of female friends and cousins so okay and he was wearing the shirt I bought him in the pic. I liked a few pics and turned off my computer. I was able to sleep and I turned to my phone and she posted more. 32+ ppl liked the one image. A few commented. And she said when they asked who he was she said ” B. ( : ) ) he’s such a sweet heart”. She also posted a pick of him kissing her cheek. He was still wearing a he shirt i bought him. I creeped her (not my finer moment) a little bit and he has know her for a while. He doesnt call her any pet names i can see. Hes called me hun on fb a couple times for all to see but none on hers. So i msged him and said hey id like to talk with you when you get back. Now what? What’s going on? What do I say now that I’m calm. I even called him over Christmas. Phones scare me so it was a big deal. He knows too because he knows my phone feelings and he prefers it
I am however resloved to not message him again till he messages me.

Reply January 6, 2015, 4:32 am


Sorry for the double post. Phone issues

Reply January 6, 2015, 4:57 am


Louise – he’s not committed to you. In future relationships, if you can’t talk face to face then use the phone more instead of texting so much. You need to beat your fear of phones. So much is lost in a text message. Don’t waste any more time thinking of this guy. It sounds like after having sex on the 3rd date that you tried to establish some boundaries, but he didn’t like it. You may not have realized it, but by doing that you caused him to reveal his true colors. I applaud you for trying to draw the line, that’s usually what the guy should do, but this is 21st century western society. It would’ve been better if you established the boundaries right from the get-go. Telling a man no sex until committment may make them move on pretty quickly if they don’t value you. A few may try to slither their way in anyway, enticed by the challenge. Also, if you saw a recent picture of him kissing another girl, even on the cheek, it’s a big red flag that he’s not committed to you. Move on and consider it a lesson learned – set those boundaries asap and you’ll filter all the wrong guys out of your life.

Reply January 6, 2015, 7:51 pm


Hey Joey,
Thanks for the advice it was the kick in the pants i need to tell him how i felt and that I need time to myself and maybe I’d come back and be his friend later in a couple months or so. Probs not lol he finally fessed up that he likes her and me and he stated in his own words that he is not seeing anyone. Not sure hes happy that i called him on his bs and deleted him from fb for now. I couldn’t handle the picture of them. I just feel bad for her because I feel free now and I have a feeling she is even more into him then I was. Now is see everything clearly and you are night I was nothing but the girl on the side to him. So for the last two weeks I have been working on my self. Lost 7 pounds with 23 more to go. I posted an after gym picture on my online dating account and so far this week my account has gotten spammed. Not sure why. if you could fill me in on that i would love some in site. So far there have been duds but I took your advice and if they mention sex right away I walk. I am up front with what i want and I even have accepted the new moto no sex before commitment. I have already weeded out one. But there are two hopefuls lol signed Louise ps. im happy!.

Reply January 18, 2015, 12:33 pm


Good for you Louise! Sounds like you’ve had some success already with setting boundaries with guys. I’m glad you’ve taken it upon yourself to get in shape also. I don’t have much advice as to why your online dating account got spammed. Not all dating sites are what they seem though. Do some reviews on which are the best ones, you may have more success. Most guys, unfortunately, are there to find sex, and if lucky a lifelong partner. Be patient. Work on a better you. Stick to your boundaries. The right man will come along in time, but until then enjoy your single life!

January 23, 2015, 7:26 am


So my boyfriend and I have had our ups and downs but recently I have been the only one that says “I love you” anymore. When I approached him about it. He tells me that he just didn’t feel like saying it.. So I have been asking myself. Does he love me? I think he does because about a month ago he told me that he really does love me but now he doesn’t say it anymore.

Reply January 3, 2015, 4:05 am


Jenn – You’re not alone. Married couples go through this too. How does he treat you besides that? Does he show you he loves you by his actions? If he didn’t love you, what then? I’m not sure how long you’ve been dating, how old you both are, etc. There’s a lot of possibilities and without knowing more it’s hard to tell. Maybe he’s depressed. Maybe he’s feeling like the relationship is at a point where he needs to decide to take it to the next level – or break up. It’s possible you’ve given him too much of yourself without drawing some boundaries, and now he’s become complacent. Perhaps he loves the sex, the companionship, the attention, but doesn’t feel love for you as a person. Does he have feelings for someone else? It could be a combination of things. Don’t be discouraged. I look at love like a fire, it will burn hot and furiously at first, then it burns down to a steady flame, then eventually it will be just a pile of ashes. Most people think this is the point of “we don’t love each other anymore”, but it doesn’t have to be. Many times the fire looks like it’s out, but underneath the ashes it’s still hot and can be reignited by feeding the fire carefully with some small branches and paper to get it going again…then you can add the big pieces of wood. What does this mean? Your relationship may need some WORK, like boundaries, counsel, one-on-one communication, etc. Be careful not to place blame on him or act like he’s having issues or it may discourage him. If he doesn’t want to go to work in his relationship with you, or gives a poor effort and complains, that should send you a message loud and clear. Ask yourself if you want to be involved with someone who doesn’t give an effort. Think about being married to someone like that and what it could do to you. You may want to give it some time, but since you’re not married you don’t owe it to him. I hope this advice helps!

Reply January 5, 2015, 10:42 pm


Hi, so for 6 months I’ve been sleeping on and off with this guy, B. I was his first, he’s also 2 years younger than me, I’m 18. Basically he’s really attractive and sexy, he knows it as well. We’ve had to have our whole ‘thing’ in secret because his sister is my friend and his family is extremely religious. Anyways he’s been acting really rude and disrespectful for a while now and I always let it pass but I’m getting tired of it, yet I always go back to him. First he calls me bitch all the time and only calls me to have sex and then leaves, but then at other times we secretly see each other at a party and actually hang out. He invited me over once to chill at his and it was really good, no sex, until I drunk told him that I made out with his best friends a few months ago during our ‘relationship’. He was really mad but after a week he was fine with both his friend and me. We were at a party a few weeks ago and he offered to take me home instead of getting a ride with my friends and when I got to my house he whispered I love you. I didn’t say anything and I think he thought j didn’t hear and it was fine. Yet he saw me again 2 days later only for sex and he kept whispering I love you after we finished having sex, this time we were with his best friend in the living room. I didn’t say it back and he just laughed and said he only likes me and that I just got ‘friend zoned’. I just brushed it off and we kept cuddling. We didn’t see each other after that, I texted him a few times but I felt like I was doing all the effort. Especially since he didn’t even want to buy me the morning after pill and rudely texted ‘go get it yourself’. He didn’t call for New Years either, we’re now in different places. He’s in Egypt and I’m in Dubai for the holidays but still.
I honestly don’t know what to do, does he like me? Should I just move on? Why did he say I love you if I never asked him to or made him feel forced to? Is he just playing me to hurt me to get back for kissing his best friend? Help!!!

Reply January 2, 2015, 2:01 pm


Eva – He likes your body, the sex, and some of the attention you give him. The fact that he’s religious, treats you terribly, and that you’re keeping this from his sister all weighs on your conscious, in my opinion. This is simple: move on. It won’t be easy, but you must cut him off. The fact that he says I love you then jokingly says you are just a friend really shows how immature he is. Guys will say they love you if they feel it, don’t ever think you have to ask him or force him to say it. It should always be a genuine and unforced thing. There are better guys for you – trust me. Let him grow up.

Reply January 2, 2015, 8:40 pm


Thank you so much for replying!!! It’s really helpful, honestly. And no I never asked him to say I love you, he knows I don’t believe in it at this age either, yet he said it just out of the blues. Anyways thank you again!!

Reply January 3, 2015, 5:00 am


Hi,please help me decode how this guy feels about me.I have a longtime boyfriend and he knows it.We just met several months ago in the office and he is actually not appealing to me.He seems so full of himself and has a very high standards when it comes to the girl he wanted to be with.Well to cut the story short,during this pass few weeks he started acting weird to me,he teased me nonstop (he plays my hair,he laughs at everything i say,when we are in a group he always walk behind me,he always find a way to talk to me through one my co worker who is also my seatmate whenever he got a chance,he started to act as a gentleman which Ive never noticed before) but if theres just the two of us he act as if he didnt notice me,he always smile whenever i look at him,some of our co workers noticed this too but whenever they say something about it he just act as if he doesnt hear anything.Its weird because after he ask for my number he didnt text me anything, he also says that he didnt want to add me in Facebook because he is not that type of guy,he just wait for other people to add him.He is very weird that sometimes I want to set my mind not to talk to him for the rest of the day.

Reply January 2, 2015, 12:47 pm


mockingjane – So you have a long time boyfriend, you’re not interested in this coworker guy, yet….you want to know how he feels about you? Who cares. Move on. Guys sometimes like to flirt with girls at work. It’s easy, fun, and convenient. He may have the hots for you, he may not. He might want to explore things with you romantically, have sex with you, or just get your attention. He might be nervous around you when it’s just the two of you. Who knows, it doesn’t matter. Stop analyzing how he acts towards you. Concentrate on the relationship you’re in now…and if you’re interested in exploring relationships with other guys, then you MUST break up with your current man. How would you like it if the roles were reversed with your current bf?

Reply January 2, 2015, 9:09 pm


Hi, i started dating a guy i was working with, he was in he’s last stages of he’s ex relationship. It was a long relationship between them and broke up when they were about to get married. I shows love and cares for me but he’s still with contact with he’s ex. He saying because she is trying walkout of the relationship and its hard for her so he needs to help her out. She contacts and texts him often and so does he. I checked her social media sites and when she got to know it she had questioned him about it. He was so mad at me and recently too he said i screwed things up by doing checking her profile and stuff. He had said he will never do anything like that to her and he said that because he said i don’t want to just tell her off cuz it will hurt her feelings. I have met he’s family and he’s the one actually told me all these things about what he told when she questioned i checked her profile, Please help me. I love him a lot but i’m bit confused on he’s actions.

Reply January 2, 2015, 5:48 am


Get out of it fast. They will be back together very soon. Are you sleeping with him

Reply January 2, 2015, 6:04 am


so i liked this guy in sixth grade and i still do given im n sevnth but he is givin me mixed signs what to do

Reply December 27, 2014, 1:39 pm


Start conversations with him, maybe write him a letter. Get to know him. Perhaps you both can eat lunch together at school, just the two of you. Find out what his likes/dislikes are and perhaps buy him/make him a gift related to that. Maybe a custom t-shirt or something. You are both very young…his romantic feelings for girls in general may take more time to develop. In the meantime, do the same thing with a few other boys. Talk with them, complement them, ask them questions. Boys need the practice. Some will respond well, some may act aloof because they don’t know what to do, or what your intentions are. Just relax, have fun, enjoy your life before all the responsibilities come, and get to know people! Good luck!

Reply December 28, 2014, 6:31 pm


I am a junior in high school and i have a Crush on a guy for a year now. We known each other for two years and we have texted each other frequently. I would usually wait for him to text me first. However whenever we see each other in school, it would be awkward and we would not talk. Just a few months back, we have gotten closer and texted quite frequently and then suddenly he tild me he likes me. He is nice and friendly and he likes to make this type of jokes to girls. Hence i did not believe him at first and i told my friends about it. They told me that he sounded quite serious but wasnt sure an told me to ask him. And i did. He said he was serious an i told him i like him back but did not want a r/s. It was very awkward. Then he blocked me for a day. The next day he started the convo and pretended nothing had happen. Then for the next two weeks we texted each other almost everyday and flirted. But i was quite mean to him in a joking way. Then he said i was very mean and that he did not like me. I was very angry and embarrassed. He tried to calm me down by sending me pick up lines and telling me to reply him but i did not. After that, i calmed down and tried to talk to him but He ignored me for 3 months even when i apologised. However, recently i tried to start a convo with him and replied me and we talked as though nothing ha happened. Then he asked me to ask him if he likes me but i refused because i believed that he doesnt like me and wanted to embarrass me again. I asked him why he ignore me for so long and he said because i was mean to him. Then he asked me to get into a r/s with him again but he did not confess to me, he just asked me and said he is really serious this time and it was different from the last. I did not believe him and he asked me for the answer for the next two days. I said no incase it was a troll and after i said no he ignored me for a day. Then he asked me to hang out several times but i rejected as i could not make it. However, sometimes he would just “K” me and ignore me when i did nothing wrong. I’m confused whether he likes me ornot because he is quite a flirty guy,help.

Reply December 27, 2014, 6:48 am


Yeah, he’s flirty, but he’s putting a lot of time into phone conversations, texts, etc. and you keep giving him the cold shoulder because you’re afraid he doesn’t like you? You need to have a face to face conversation with this guy so you can get better acquainted with him. Texts are shady – you can’t get to know someone through texts very well. It’s been over a year since you’ve had a crush on him. It’s time to move forward or leave it alone. He’s tried to get you into a relationship but you have rejected that because you’re being safe. Go on a few dates with him, maybe to the mall or lunch on weekends. It will get easier. Don’t worry about trolling – be yourself. Stick to your own values and don’t let your feelings for him make you so weak that you do whatever he wants. You’ll find out quick whether this guy is genuine or whether he just wants sex, but you won’t be able to move forward unless you decide to get to know him…or just cut him off completely and move on.

Reply December 27, 2014, 10:36 am


So I’ve known this guy for about two years now. I rarely see him because he lives a few hours away (we met through a mutual friend at a party). I had a little crush just because I thought he was cute, but I didn’t try to pursue it further.
We used to text only every few months or so.
But I went to a party recently with that mutual friend, and the guy was there. The whole night, he was teasing me, touching me, and just flirting a lot.
Since that party, we’ve been speaking to each other a lot more, almost every day.
Also, now he lives a lot closer than he did when I first met him (he’s started going to a college nearby).
Unfortunately, I know he’s a very flirty guy in general—or, at least, he was. But he told our mutual friend sometime before the party that he knows he’s a flirt and he feels really awful about hurting people, and that he’s trying to change.
I don’t know how I should feel about this. Obviously, I don’t want to get hurt and he is quite the charmer, but I don’t know if he’s really sticking with his plan to change or if he just returned to his old ways…

Reply December 26, 2014, 1:31 pm


Is it ok for a guy to be interested in more than one girl? I think it is…however if he’s flirting with multiple girls within the same room, it could be a turn off to a woman. You want to feel like you’re the only one he’s interested in. He wants to cast as much bait as possible and see who bites. It can also just be playful flirting, not romantic flirting. Other times it can be he wants attention from women without having to settle for one. We can guess all we want, but we may never know for sure. Seems like you are trying to protect yourself from being hurt. That’s understandable. I would probably feel the same way if I liked a girl that was a big flirt. Don’t judge him on that trait alone, but remain cautious. He would have to practice more restraint with that if he dated you, and who knows how successful that would be. Imagine being at a party with him as your bf, and he was still flirting with all the girls! That’d be mortifying. If he’s serious about you he’ll take it beyond flirting. Maybe propose he do something instead of just playing games. Take you out like a real man would. If he doesn’t, then you know he’s not serious. Say something like “So, when are you going to ask me out? Are you too afraid to commit to anything beyond flirting?” That’ll separate the men from the boys.

Reply December 26, 2014, 10:47 pm


Okay so this guy liked me for about 4 months. Then I decided to give him a chance because he told me how much he liked me then I realized that I fell in love with his personality. But then I told I liked him and then I told him about a personal secret with depression thing and he’s like I don’t want to date you because of that reason and like okay that’s stupid… He didn’t talk to me for about 4 days then I said we are friends nothing more right? and he’s like yea I guess. It’s like he lost all interest in me right after I fell for him!!! Please help I’m so, so confused.

Reply December 25, 2014, 3:48 am


I see two ways of looking at this: 1.) This guy doesn’t like you at all – he only liked his idea of you…the “perfect” girl with no problems and you shattered that for him. Or 2.) This is a red flag for him, maybe because he’s had past experience with dating women like that, or it just seems to him that you’re not relationship worthy if you’re suffering with clinical depression. He may think you should seek professional help for it first before you try exploring a relationship with him.
You can choose how you approach this. One way will be beneficial for you as a person, the other won’t be. My suggestion, is that if you’re truly hurting because of depression, then make sure you’re seeking help for it, via counseling, group therapy, improved diet, other life changes, etc. You can also disregard it and just move on without changing anything. You have to realize that depression will come and go in your life – it can be healthy and useful as long as its not for extended periods of time, because it can make you physically ill. I’m not sure what’s going on in your life, but work on improving your mental/physical health first – live outwardly and don’t focus inwardly so much (easier said than done). A better you will arise in time, if you make better choices day by day, but complacency will destroy you. Find encouragement through books, poems, music, friendship, family, forgiveness, God, prayer, and giving to others. Don’t leave a stone unturned. Exhaust your resources and challenge yourself. It won’t be easy, but it will yield peaceable fruit in due time. If you focus your time/energy on why a guy suddenly doesn’t like you, you will sink further. Let him go and refocus your life, there’s a lot of work to be done…but enjoy the journey and all its lessons. I wish you the best.

Reply December 26, 2014, 8:11 pm


Thank you for the great advice, including those found in the comments.
I do have a confusing situation that maybe someone could share some insight on, however… Why would a guy (whom I’ve had a crush on for some time) be sweet as could be to me one day, and treat me as less than a friend the next? He throws all the signs that he likes me one day (messing with me, trying to make me laugh, offer me support, convince me to join him on a trip), and the next day he could display signs otherwise… (ignoring, not wanting me around, hugging everyone in our group of friends as we say goodbye while avoiding me, messing with me in a more mean/rude tone). When a friend told me that this guy does like me, I gave little hints, being extra sweet to him (baked him a cake for his birthday, to which he responded nonchalantly). I know I should just give up and force myself to get over him. But why is he like this?

That, and the fact that guys view and treat me as the (and I quote from one guy friend) “cute, innocent, sweet little sister who has to be protected”…. I do look young for my 21 years, but I act maturely. I may be friendly and sweet, and I appreciate the brotherly love they give me and the fact that they trust me enough to share their relationship woes, but when they sometimes get my heart while acting as if they do like me as a little something more, flirting a little, and then put me back to that “sister/friend-zone” again, it does hurt. I explained this to one guy friend, and he said that it’s just how it is… “you’re one of the nicest girls; we can’t corrupt you with a relationship” — I don’t mean to be less than humble, it’s exactly what he said. And I’ve been in a relationship before — the guy was not very good to me, to say the least — so much for not being corrupted by one. So how do I get out of this “sweet little sister-friend zone”?

Reply December 22, 2014, 2:38 pm


Rue –
I wouldn’t worry yourself about getting out of any type of “zone”. I bet many of these guys are just looking for a sexual hook-up, hence why they use the phrase “we can’t corrupt you…”. How can you be corrupted by a relationship?? These guys see how innocent you seem to be, and they don’t want to spoil that. It’s a good thing because you’re keeping all the wrong guys from hurting you. Perhaps it’s also because they don’t look at you in a very sexual way, that they consider you like a sister and not a romantic partner. You listen real well, they feel comfortable with you and talking with you openly, etc. Women that are physically attractive, a great listener, a great personality, intelligent, funny, successful, financially stable, morally upright, clean mouth, nurturing, can laugh at themselves without looking immature, are the kind of women that men would desperately want to marry (or run away from because they feel unworthy). You can really make an impression on a guy if you not only listen attentively, but give thoughtful advice based on what they told you. Give real encouragement. Be authentic. Smile. Be empathetic. It shows you care. It shows you’re confident, but not arrogant. It shows you’re loving. A woman who doesn’t need to blab on and on and can sit quietly and listen without feeling the need to comment on everything will make an impact. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a guy without being overly flirtatious. Raunchy girls are the type guys like to have sex with and then walk away from. Oh by the way, don’t overextend yourself for a guy when he blabs to you about his life and problems…be empathetic, give advice…but don’t be there for their every tear. Guys who do that for girls almost always end up in the friend zone, and they hate it. Just be you and you’ll attract the right guy soon enough.

Reply December 26, 2014, 8:43 pm


This guy friend known 2 years, he’s married, I’m separated,I live where he drives to work, he has always wanted to trade drugs wife not knowing, met today I said beard looks good twice, thanks I left he text me min said was that you behind when I turned around? I text yes mom called and I said I was meeting my boyfriend, nothing back he’s shy I text just playing don’t let me scare you, he said I know flirting? Asknow him wanna go gambling? He said I spend to much money?

Reply December 16, 2014, 10:41 pm


Eve – Leave him alone, he’s married.

Reply December 18, 2014, 6:57 pm


Hi Eric Charles!

Awesome articles.
I feel like I’m a guy too. LOL

Reply December 13, 2014, 4:06 pm


Hi joey, good day!!
Thank you so much for explaining, and yeah you’re right he mentioned before when we first talked he was in love with his ex and they just broke up a year before we started talking so maybe he’s still not ready . He obviously does in love with his ex because he said he was about to visit her in her hometown but unfortunately they broke up before that happen. But he did say he’s trying to move on.

And so yeah im glad you help me understand this . Ive never been in a serious relationship(well its not me who broke up with my ex its them, it hurts though but yeah thats past i moved on)thats why i couldnt understand whats the guy-thing. ;-) sorry i forgot to mention about his ex.
I tell you , im not that picky but in online dating i honestly choose only profile that has included a photo(profile photo i mean) but its so unusual to me because i did accept his request eventhough he dont have a photo .i felt something stranged and its like there’s someone pushes/told me to accept him and either me couldnt understand why. Its like there’s something connection between us. Im not sure but yeah thats what holding me not to lose communication with him. How many times i attempted and did stop the online-dating site but there’s always a way to communicate with him. Like one day, when i came back to that site i talked to another guy and he told me try to download the whats app messenger so it would be easier for us to talk but i never expect that i could find him(the first guy i used to talk to) in that messenger. Like i said, whenever i tried to forget him , he will appear again . Its like destiny or something lol.
so yeah after i noticed that all , i did not stop communicating on him and believe that there’s something between us,
Til now , ive already been in soo much patience, do i need to move on? Or should i stick
to my feelings about that connection?? I dont know what to do actually, im afraid to get hurt again .
I know it sounds weird and confusing but yeah this is true and i actually dont believe much in that DESTINY word. Lol sorry if your a bit confuse. :-) thank you.

Ohh gosh!! I felt crazy about this ..sorry.

Reply December 13, 2014, 9:54 am


Hey Shy- no worries. You seem pretty level-headed about this actually. Don’t work yourself up too much about the whole “destiny” thing. I do feel that there are spiritual influences that try to get us to be with a person that would best fit us, but if you miss out on that person another one can come along, because all in all people get to choose despite external influences. Please also know that people through choice, forgiveness, adapting, counseling, understanding, and other methods can turn a “bad” partner selection into a wonderful relationship (it does take both working at it). It all depends on how people choose to live out their lives, but it’s never an easy journey even if you find “the one”. People change over time, slowly, day by day. Both parties must work each day at doing those little things that will bring them together, or else time and complacency will end up driving them apart.

With that said, I’m not sure what else is left for you to do. This guy is somewhat wishy-washy, and there are an ocean of possibilities as to what’s going on in his heart and life. What we do have is the fact that he wants to set up a date. He needs to fulfill that oath. If you don’t want to continue talking and growing closer to him without knowing when the dates will start, then by all means just tell him. It’s always a good thing to be honest with the guy and let him know where you stand. If he really wants you, he’ll make time to set something up. If he doesn’t, I wouldn’t entertain any more chitchat. What you said about his ex may be a factor in all of this…we just don’t know and don’t need to know. It’s been long enough, you’ve been VERY patient, so don’t beat yourself up at all, and don’t worry yourself sick. You’ve done your part and you can rest easy knowing that.

Reply December 13, 2014, 1:59 pm


Hi again!! Joey.
I know saying THANK YOU to you and to all “a new mode” staffs isnt enough but im still glad you give time to this thing and wasting your time just to help me understand this. I wish i could do something as a return for your goodness. THANK YOU so much thank you. And goodbless you all.
I know now what am gonna do, this would be the time for me to do things that ive never done before. I am not that bad and maybe i was too nice to any one , that makes unfair to me. :-) but yeah its not too late to do it right next time. So so so much grateful for your advices. THANK YOU again .. have a good day!!

Reply December 14, 2014, 7:57 am


Most welcome. I’m not staff though – I’m just a random guy that had a terrible crush on a girl at work that somehow led me to this article lol. I read through some of the posts and started posting things to people from a guy’s perspective. I enjoy it. I’ve posted under the name “JJ” also, but now I just put my name. God Bless you Shy – Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you as well :)

Reply December 14, 2014, 8:44 pm


Oopsy!! Really?? Ohh sorry about that.. i just thought your one of the “new mode” staffs.. hehehe
But yeah.. thank you.. lol

December 14, 2014, 11:10 pm


Confused!! Help me! Please…
I just want to know what this guy(i used to talk to) really mean about what he told me.
I talked to this guy almost a year , but until now he doesnt open up something peronal about himself. Funny i know! Im just stupid still continue talking to him eventhough he seems like he doesnt trust me. I just want to be friends on him (at the moment)
thats why i didnt stop communicating. He seems ok in talking with me because he really does respond in every conversation we had , well that conversation mostly about me lol. He asked me everything and i did tell him but he, doesnt tell me more about himself.We even have a laugh , something fun honesltly, he even sent me some photos on what he’s doing. He obviously ok with me.
I never had a chance to meet him in person since he always busy at work he cant leave but he did tell me that he wants to set up a date to meet me. Im not sure if he does mean it or he just making an excuse.
And then one day he’s stressed so i cheered him up but in the middle of our conversation, he suddenly say sorry if he’s distant all the time and he said he’s a bit reserved. I dont understand why he suddenly tell me that thing. What does he really mean ? Hope you can help me explain this. It does bother me eveytime. Thank you :-)

Reply December 12, 2014, 11:39 pm


Wow, after reading your post I can see why you’re confused…I’m left a little confused too. You’ve been talking with him online or on the phone I suppose, since you’ve never met him. Maybe this is why he hasn’t opened up more to you – he’s reserved like he said and he’ll need time together to grow more attached. Some guys have been seriously hurt in relationships and it’ll make it tough for them to trust someone else. I’m not sure what his deal is, but at least he acknowledged his behavior towards you. It could be a good sign.

What does it all mean? Well, spending actual time with him could clarify that. He’ll have to schedule that date – you could gently prompt him. He might be real nervous about meeting you and “messing things up”. Depends on his past like I said earlier. Are you sure he’s not married? You can do a quick background check online. Make sure what he told you matches up with the background check. Be patient. This guy hasn’t moved forward with taking you out even after a year of talking with him. He can’t be that busy at work I don’t think. What does he do? It doesn’t seem to follow a natural progression so something may be up. You’ll have to go through with dates to get answers…but don’t be afraid to walk away either. There are other guys for you.

Reply December 13, 2014, 7:30 am


Thank you again joey for making me understand this. And sorry you left a bit confused i forgot to mention about his ex. So should i forget him ? And stop communicating him again??
It would be hard i suppose especially if u felt something connection on him but yeah if thats the other way then i will try.
Thank you again.
Love lots. :-)

Reply December 13, 2014, 10:07 am


Im not sure if he will set up a date for meet up . At the moment, . i cant ask him to meet me either im too afraid if it will get worst , maybe i should wait a bit but if he still wont then might be the time to decide whats right.. is that a good idea? Or not? :-P

Reply December 13, 2014, 10:19 am


So, there’s this really close guy friend that I’ve known for several years now and I felt that my feelings for him change and so recently i confessed and he told me he would like to think about it and that he was definitely interested in me. The conversations changed and he would tell me he liked me a lot, we’d kiss and flirt, but he didn’t want to make it official yet, especially because he’ll be going overseas for a month in december. He left recently.. but for a couple days now since he’s been overseas, the only conversations he’s had with me consists of him telling me how pretty the girls are, how he wants to stay in that country because of the girls, etc. I feel really crushed because it seems like it’s reverted back to our casual conversations as friends and he doesnt think the same about me anymore. I also feel really stupid for ignoring the advice of defining our relationship before he left or at least trying to make it official… what should i do? :(

Reply December 11, 2014, 6:05 am


Sounds like you told him how you felt, things started to move forward but he didn’t want to be “tied down” with a new relationship while overseas. He made the decision not to make it official – so there’s nothing you can do with that. At least you know where you stand with him – he likes you but doesn’t want anything permanent yet. Wait and see what happens when he comes back. Let him lead.

Sounds to me like he still wants to sow his wild oats by commenting on all the hot girls there. One more thing, if he was very romantically interested in you, he probably wouldn’t have mentioned the other girls he’s looking at out there (#2 in the article). I wouldn’t hold your breath on this guy. Consider some other guys, focus on other things you enjoy about life, and don’t spend any time dwelling on this guy anymore. It’s out of your hands anyway.

Reply December 11, 2014, 7:34 pm


Hey JJ,
Thanks so much for your feedback :) ~ i just wanted someone else’s opinion.. especially after seeing #2 on the article… i guess i just didnt want to believe it because he didnt go as far as saying he wanted to date them.

Another thing is that you brought up is that he told me during one of our conversations that he wants to enjoy his single life for a while before we become official because he’s not ready yet, hence he wants to enjoy himself overseas. But he did ask for what would make me uncomfortable such as stuff he shouldnt do such as sleeping around, etc… do you think that changes anything? Or should I stop holding my breath and try to slowly move on?

Reply December 11, 2014, 10:18 pm


Hi Jen,
I’m not sure why he asked you that…he could easily keep it all to himself. It’s been said “what goes on overseas stays overseas” just like the popular Vegas phrase. If he wants to be respectful and not sleep around over there, then perhaps he shouldn’t be telling you about all the hot girls that are giving him whiplash and making him think about living there permanently. Perhaps he was joking, but honestly, I wouldn’t say that to a woman I was interested in pursuing…would you? It’s a nice gesture to consider what your feelings are on his behavior while away, but that’s about it. Actions speak louder than words, and you’ll have no way of knowing what went on behind closed doors during his stay there.

I don’t think it changes anything – try not to overanalyze the things he says. He’s been clear about not being tied down, so give him that. Assume he won’t want a relationship when he comes back either, and if he does it’ll be a pleasant surprise. He’s probably thinking he has you if he wants you when he returns – maybe for a relationship, maybe just to have sex with. Guys can be like that, so be prepared on setting boundaries in terms of his pursuing you…if he does. Hope this helps you Jen.

Reply December 12, 2014, 8:47 pm


I dated this guy for 2 and a half years. We both loved each other a lot and I still do. He thinks his feelings have changed and gone to another girl, but i still feel he likes me. One of the problems is that my family hates him but I always supported him and promised to make everything right. I don’t know whether i should wait for him or not, but i reall love him, i can’t seem to forget him. What shall i do?

Reply December 9, 2014, 2:17 am


Don’t blame yourself for being so attached to him. You were with him for a long time. It’s a good thing to care for someone so deeply. Don’t ever harden yourself to that. However, when you realized that your family didn’t like him, that’s usually a red flag. The ones that love you the most and are closest to you should have your best intentions at heart. It’s not always the case, but you need to be somewhat objective about this guy and listen to your family’s opinions, especially if there’s more than one person in your family that dislikes him. Your heart can heal from this, if in fact you are broken up…or about to be.

Feelings are weird. They are strong one day and seemingly gone the next. Feelings are important and they play their role in relationships, but they aren’t to be your guide always. Feelings will come and go for others, which is normal but especially if you don’t guard your heart properly. It doesn’t matter how wonderful that person is or how great the connection is, many people will at some point have romantic feelings for someone else – but they can be dealt with. It doesn’t have to mean hop onto the next person though.

Tell him how you feel, what you want with him, and leave it there. Let him decide what to do next. Give him a time frame – the shorter the better. Be prepared to walk away and be mindful of heeding your closest friends and family’s intuition in future relationships.

Reply December 10, 2014, 7:43 am


Im 20 this guy is 4/1 years younger then me he name Kyle but ge ia dating anirher girl i likw but we use to flirt with each other but idk he likes me

Reply December 5, 2014, 10:00 pm


I was so reluctant to try online dating. but I finally gave in and gave it a try. There was one guy who I corresponded with back-and-forth for about a month before he went out on a first date. We had a great time and went out for a second and third date. This guy was texting me many times throughout the day complementing me constantly and maybe feel very special. We had a very strong connection and he were very comfortable around each other. He arranged his weekends with mine since we are both divorced and have children. When we got physical it was amazing!!! By the time we got to our 6th D I had a feeling something was wrong. I asked him if there is something bothering him and he said no. After our date I contacted him and again asked him if everything was okay. He said he feels we moved very fast and felt a little overwhelmed. I said okay and waited a few days, and wished him a good day via text one morning. He didn’t reply. So I texted him again asking him just for an explanation, he’s the first person I’ve dated since my divorce and I felt devastated and very hurt. He responded a few days later and just said he didn’t want to end things but just needed to relax a little bit.I should’ve just given him his space, but I just couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t give me the courtesy of more of an explanation. This is someone who pursued me and even told me that they loved me. I just don’t know what happens and I am beating myself up over it. I haven’t heard from him in a week now. Does anyone have any thoughts as to what could’ve happened here?

Reply November 26, 2014, 8:38 pm


Lots of possibilities. It’s hard to say without more details. According to what you said, it seems like everything was great until after the “physical” stuff (I assume sex). He feels turned off by it somehow, probably because he feels torn. Maybe you were his first since his divorce, or he’s right and it is going too fast. Have you considered that it may be better for you if it slowed down? I would take what he says at face value and just wait for him to contact you and move things along. Don’t be surprised if it fizzles out, but if it reignites you may want to tell him that sex is off limits. Don’t be afraid to do that. If he pursues a sexual relationship with you again, he may be trying to use you. After all, everything was peachy before the sex started. I’ve done the same thing to women before. Things were great until we had sex and it changed everything deep within me and I acted distant, but would come back after a short while for sex only. I can’t explain it. Some men are more sensitive to sex in relationships than others. Don’t beat yourself up. Just learn from it and know that sex shouldn’t define a relationship, your commitment to each other does. If you withhold sex and your man doesn’t like it and leaves you, he never loved you. Any man who truly cares for his woman would respect her wishes to remain chaste until further notice or marriage.

Reply November 29, 2014, 9:20 pm


Hello, thank you for your feedback I really appreciate it. The last time we saw each other was when he spent the weekend at my house. It was his idea to spend the entire weekend together. Although there were times I felt overwhelmed by things moving so quickly I went with it because he made me feel so special and I thought he was so special. It was halfway through that weekend that I noticed something different about him. And you’re right, maybe there was something that turned him off. But if he feels the strong feelings for me like he says why wouldn’t he share them with me? I do wish I gave him the 30 days that I’ve read so much about since this happened. I did lash out at him for not talking to me. I did apologize and he said he isn’t mad. He also said that he never wanted to not continue our relationship. But I haven’t heard from him and it’s so confusing. All he talked about was spending the weekend together and how he couldn’t wait to hold me and have been close to him. He told me he had he had come to terms with how he is feeling about me and told me he loved me on that Friday night. But Saturday evening there is definitely something wrong.I am so beside myself because I waited so long to date in I finally let my guard down. I don’t know what happened or why. This one’s sweet thoughtful kind person has completely turn their back on me.

Reply November 30, 2014, 9:29 am


I am a guy who stumbled upon this page out of curiosity and ladies I have too say this site is 300% accurate about what I do when im not into a girl. Am kinda freaked out about the accuracy of it though…

Reply November 26, 2014, 10:22 am


I’m particularly curious about no. 7. yes, he flirts with me along with everyone else. I don’t know if I’m exaggerating but I still feel something different. He flirts with me less than he flirts with others, but he does more genuinely sweet things to me than others. (My opinion is, he just doesn’t tease me because every time he does, our friends would tease US.)

Whenever we walk around in a group, we always seem to walk beside each other. I don’t know if he ever stares at me but whenever we accidentally look at each other, he would hold the stare–I would always be the one to break away. He also acts a bit shy around me, never on others. So what the heck does that mean? Is it really something special or I’m just reading too much over the signs?

Reply November 26, 2014, 5:09 am


Flirting comes in all kinds of flavors, let me explain: 1.) There’s the type where you both are mutually into each other romantically, 2.) there’s the attention-whore type where you just want the other gender’s attention but aren’t interested, and then 3.) there’s the friendly flirting where you’re just joking around more like friends but aren’t interested in each other romantically. I’ve “friendly flirted” (#3) before and other women thought it was the mutual type (#1), but It wasn’t. So, which type do you want to see from him? If you like him like that it may be very difficult to be objective about his flirting towards you. Want to find out? Flirt with him, and when you do, touch him on the arm, chest, or back. This will indicate flirting type #1. He’ll get the drift. And if he starts acting differently towards you, one way or another, you’ll know.

Reply November 29, 2014, 9:36 pm


I recently got in contact with old high school friends ,one of which was a man that separated from his wife of 27 yrs. They have been separated for 2 yrs. This gentleman, started texting me stating that he wants a sexual encounter and loves the fact that we are so “LIKE MINDED”. He would text me from work and late at night. Telling me one moment that he won’t be in a relationship for a long time just wants a hook up then states What happens if we fall in love, and he is living in the moment, then states he already has a major crush on me. Please keep in mind that I am in a unhappy relationship, and he loves to go on those POF sites. So this was the attention I longed for. This man stated he has more female friends then guy friends many of which are extremely attractive. he wanted to see me and stated that the only reason he was coming to the reunion was because of me. Calling me Bella telling me how gorgeous I am …you get the Idea. Well one thing led to another and not only was I stupid enough to fall for his praise I met up with him a week later after hrs of texting. Believe me when I say this is totally out of character for me. This man was so charming with his affections but once we did “THE DEED” classic player move he stopped talking, not all together but not the marathon sessions we had before. He would take a little longer to text back, would tell me he will text me later then not until the next day, yet before he would state that and text me throughout the day several times a day for hrs. He told me he would always be there for me but I believe that was just a line… please someone confirm what I already know…. I have been played… so why did I get so emotionally attached so quick and why am I letting it bother me so much.

Reply November 23, 2014, 12:45 am


He told you from the get-go that he didn’t want a long relationship, just a hook-up, but then mixed it in with some savvy talk about “what-if love” that kept you intrigued. You don’t like your current relationship because you are attention-starved, so you cheated on your man with this new guy who gives you that to see if it would perhaps turn a flame into a giant fire of love, but it didn’t. You gambled, and lost. Do yourself a favor and break-up with your man. Have some respect for yourself and don’t dive into a man’s need for sex unless you can deal with him ditching you after (which is really hard). If you are committed to someone, then commit. If you can’t do it any longer, than have the guts to be honest with him and walk away. And one more thing: don’t mess around with another woman’s husband, which is what he is until the divorce is final.

Reply November 29, 2014, 8:51 pm


I was dating a guy for the last 7 months. Just like your article says, he would put me down, make me feel like shit about where I am in life, and then he would do nice things that would make me forget about our roller coaster. We “were” monogamous for the last 3 months -trying to see if we can work on being in a committed relationship. I had doubts checked his phone and saw that he had raw sex with a women who has a boyfriend. I’ve been completely torn since I thought we were trying. Like your article he was unsure about me and has his own issues to work on.

My question is–why do guys that have their own mental issues put women down? I had never been with someone who put me down like he did, or that made me feel insecure. Confused as to what really happened. Clearly he’s not that into me, but why the manipulation.

Reply November 20, 2014, 1:16 pm


Guys put women down because they are insecure about who they are as a person, therefore they cannot love a woman they way they should. Women fall prey to that too – it’s not gender specific. When thy see how they are treating you is wrong, it makes them feel worse. They may try to justify it, act like it’s your fault, etc. He’s pushing you down to make himself feel like he’s higher up. He needs some counseling is all. He can get over it if he chooses to. Forgive him. Forgive yourself. Move on.

Reply November 22, 2014, 12:41 pm


I have a guy but its alot more complicated.After the break up he was really messed up with what he said because one girl tryed to claim him as his gf when I really was his gf after agrueing I found out he didnt love her and wherent together and me and him broke up after argueing. Later on she started saying where in a relationship with him and he whent along with it knowing he doesnt love her or care about her. His family loves me and hates her.he told me multiple times he cares and loves me just hes being childish then I heard his family saying he wants to bring his gf to his house but his family dont want her in the house. He has plans for me in the futer which I dont know if its real or not.the girl doesnt even message him as much as I do and doesnt visit him.he keeps saying to me I wont do anything to her and I just dont know anymore everyday I feel like I’m not the person he truely loves like I’m always in the way.

Reply November 16, 2014, 1:00 pm


Get away from this guy. Tell him you’re not interested in a relationship with him. He’s double-minded and unstable. He’ll only do to you what he’s doing to that other girl. There’s a better man out there for you, you’ll find him and he’ll treat you like a special woman. You’ll never look back. Don’t settle.

Reply November 22, 2014, 12:33 pm


A neighbor has shown interest by talking on the phone, texting and dinner dates. My problem with this is…..He lost his wife of nineteen years ONLY three months ago. I Feel that he is moving way too fast and doesn’t seem to have mourned or grieved properly. He shows sign that he is interested in a relationship because he has told his children and a few friends about US, but I feel like giving up on the US until he grieves properly.

Reply November 15, 2014, 8:01 pm


If it’s a red flag for you, then you should listen to your conscience, especially this early in. Tell him you’d rather stay friendly neighbors for now. I think it’s too soon also. If you lost the love of your life, having another relationship after a few months wouldn’t feel right. He’s probably lonely and would like female interaction, but he should seek out healthy male friendship for now. If you want, talk to him about how he feels, and his thoughts on dating so soon after being widowed.

Reply November 16, 2014, 6:11 am


I don’t understand why people assume everyone’s the same when it comes to grieving. May be the guy is lonely and is having a hard time with being alone, or may be their marriage wasn’t all that great before she died. You never know what happens behind closed doors, even if you live next door. If that’s how you want to go about it that’s your choice, but don’t assume everyone grieves the same way or has to take many years to get over the loss of their significant other. It’s foolish to assume we’re all the same. Ever think about that, or did you put him in your shoes as to what you think he should do (instead of you putting yourself in his shoes as you should)?

Reply November 16, 2014, 10:09 am


You’re right, not everyone is the same. If their marriage wasn’t good, it’s reasonable that his grieving process may be affected by that. We don’t want to judge others, but without knowing any details you’re left with your own assumptions – such as the obvious – why is he trying to go on dates only 3 months after his wife of 19 years has passed? If his marriage was bad, then why? There’s a difference between judgement and discernment. There’s lots of possibilities, therefore its’ hard to put myself in his shoes.

Generally speaking, Joyce doesn’t feel comfortable with it so it stands to be solid advice to go with your conscience and take a step back just to make sure he’s not in rebound mode. She’s looking out for herself too. I wouldn’t let romantic feelings cloud things until I knew him much better. I never said she should avoid him, but instead be “friendly neighbors”. Joyce indicated that the guy seems interested in a relationship, not just neighborly chit chat. There’s a big difference there. SO: go with your gut and be a friendly neighbor. Just be sure he understands no romance until you’re more comfortable.

Reply November 16, 2014, 4:53 pm


Hello it is me again, about my neighbor losing his wife of 19 years. Well it was only 10 DAYSs then(now it’s 3mo) after his wife’s death, that he showed interest in a relationship. Yes he has seen me out walking my dog and I would speak to him AND his wife before her death. His pursuit was scary because it was SO SUDDEN, I’m still confused and he is STILL interested. He told me that he tell his mother, friends, children about me and tell they tell him the same that I HAVE been saying all along . SLOW DOWN/TAKE THINGS SLOW. I like the guy a lot. We have good conversations , one dinner date, and a few movie nights but I just think he is lonely and wants me to help him grieve and get through this trying time but I’m afraid of my time being vested in a relationship that’s going WHERE!? P.S. He does say things like “I Love my wife BUT” which might mean there was problem in the marriage but I don’t know how to pry into their relationship.

Reply December 12, 2014, 7:14 pm


Hi Joyce,
Well, it sounds like you have more than one source telling you to take things slow: 1.) your own conviction, 2.) my advice, 3.) his mother, 4.) his friends, and 5.) his children. Perhaps you should ask YOUR family and friends too, just for curiosities sake. I don’t see anything wrong with watching movies and eating dinner, but don’t let him think those are dates if you don’t want them to be taken that way.

So, you like the guy a lot…nothing wrong with that. You might need to decide, at least for the interim, what you are going to be to him. Are you a friendly neighbor or a possible romantic partner? Just decide now, and keep those boundaries in place no matter how enticing – because you don’t want to send wrong messages to him. Don’t be wishy-washy. Tell him you don’t want to pursue a relationship or he’ll get confused, especially since he’s already told you and his family that he wants you in his life and you’ve joined him for dinner and movies already. If you want, tell him you don’t want the romance, but you don’t mind coming over to talk and drink coffee…or something like that.

December 12, 2014, 9:06 pm


How do I post a question the forum?

Reply November 14, 2014, 9:45 pm


This guy and I met in party, we had sex but from the beginning he said he’s not looking for gf, he’s an expat, intern in my country. But we always met like once every 2 weeks, sex and conversation. always in his place. at first im ok to be his sex buddy, but then I like him more. We’ve been like that for almost a year. this sounds ridiculous but I believe him not doing much with other girls, because he is kinda guy who spend his time in library. but he has something with girl, I always believe it wont more that he was with me. His facebook not has many activities from other girls, and no add activity from other girl from my country. We always have good conversation, and he would hug me for almost one hour after sex. Well yesterday was last time I saw him, because I had to go for a year, and he will have to move out from my country soon. As usual, sex and conversation, I never said I like him and neither him. He just had long stop yesterday when I said I had to go, silent for few minutes and held my hand, I really hoped he would say something, but at the end he just kissed me and had sex again. We said goodbye, and he said that he was sure that we would meet me again. and I am clueless, I would like to believe he has a feeling to me but he never introduced me with his friend, never go out together, although he’s ok I post things in his fb wall and give “like” to his sister photos. I cant say that I like him, im worried I ruin everything :(

Reply November 12, 2014, 12:33 pm


Many times, feelings end up following sex. Sex is the most intimate act you can have with another person, so it’s not a mystery why people end up having feelings afterward. He obviously likes having sex with you, talking with you afterward, etc., but he doesn’t want you to be his. If he felt love for you, he would remain in contact with you over distance, he would plan things out for future dates, etc. Doesn’t sound like he has those kinds of feelings though, judging by your description of him. You should either tell him you’re interested in pursing more with him, and if he can’t, then break contact – for your own emotional health. If you were fine being his sex buddy at first, and I hate to say it this way, then you set yourself up for being used by him. In fact, you were both using each other for sex, and it doesn’t always end well. Draw some boundaries for yourself in future relationships. If the guy doesn’t like those boundaries, then he doesn’t care about you and you can move on knowing you did right.

Reply November 13, 2014, 8:42 pm


Wow….. Can’t believe I am writing this but guess everyone needs advice from time to time. I am an older lady working at a grocery store part time. Began to like a guy MUCH younger than me. In fact, when he found out my age tears actually welled up in his eyes. He has introduced me to his mom and she has come into the store to eyeball a few times since. Long story short…..I tried to turn off my affections but my heart would not listen. He came in back of me one day and says he wanted me to view him as older and I was the only reason he continued to work there. I did not respond because I did not know what to say to that. Anyway…..he would pop up everywhere I was at work and seem to flirt with me. I wrote him a note just letting him know I cared and that I would like to meet up with him for lunch. Left the note on his truck. He got the note and came running into the store yelling my name. I said to him in a low low voice…..” don’t embarrass me” I had a customer and he was charging towards me like a football player. The next day…..ICE COLD. I approached him and told him I did not mean to make him feel bad or reject him but I was shy and I did not want us to get in trouble with the manager. He now acts like he does not know me. Days have passed and he goes out of his way to avoid me. My heart is broken……I asked him if he read the note and he told me he still had it in his truck. Yeah….sure. The other employees to my dismay seemed to know he liked me as they would give me messages and I would just smile. I am a very private person and cannot believe I liked someone so young. Very heartbroken over his actions but confused by them as well. Never meant to like anyone at my workplace as this situation has made things uncomfortable for both of us. Any suggestions would help.

Reply November 12, 2014, 12:11 am


I’ve been through something similar myself recently. I tried to turn my heart off like you did and it didn’t work either. I hate when it gets awkward, but that’s the risk you take with coworker relationships. I’m not sure how young this guy is, but it sounds to me like he was offended at your response to his immaturity. He feels like you’re embarrassed by his feelings for you. Any decent person should know that relationships like these need to be very private until ready to disclose to everyone else. Also, you should be aware if there is a company policy for coworkers who date. Make sure you abide by it if there is one. He doesn’t like the fact that you seemed a bit embarrassed by his excitement, but he should know that you’re interested anyway so it shouldn’t be a big deal. You already approached him and set the record straight, so you covered yourself. You should work on letting this go and allow him to get over his shame. Perhaps in time things will lighten up between the two of you. If not, it’s not your fault he responded this way to you, so don’t blame yourself. He’s a bit immature apparently. Find a guy closer to your own age maturity-wise.

Reply November 13, 2014, 8:08 pm


Okay so a guy who I didn’t really know too well approached me one day and started talking to me and whenever he sees me after school he continues to do so. I started liking him and, he shows pretty much all of the signs and I was pretty much 100% positive that he was into me(WAS being the main point here). He shows all of the signs of liking me in person, he treats me differently, he’s protective of me, he always keeps the conversation going, asks me questions, breaks the touch barrier, focuses on me, etc, etc. But online he’s only messaged me once, and he’s always commenting on this one girl’s statuses, and liking her pictures and she does the same to him. I thought that he liked me, but now I’m not so sure. Help?

Reply November 9, 2014, 7:55 pm


He’s attracted to you in some way, that’s why he approached you. He’s interested to a degree, but you’re probably not the only one he’s interested in. He may be weighing his options, trying to figure out who he’ll ask out. Just be patient. Be kind. Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket with this guy though. If he wants you bad enough, he’ll make a move.

Reply November 11, 2014, 6:36 am


I really need a heavy dose of advice :( please let me know if someone can help me preferably a guy with experience with girls and relationships :'( I just feel so heartbroken and I don’t know how to feel about my relationship atm….this whole post just confused me… especially because I’m having a HUGE fight with my boyfriend of 4 years… :(

Reply November 9, 2014, 2:21 am


Hi Pearl. I can offer advice if you’d like. Maybe offline?
The post actually doesn’t clearly reflect things I have done in my interactions with women – but I’m not the average guy. I’ll respond to the items I disagree with in the article:

1. “He’s Not Around You”: I was super into a girl I worked with, downright CRAZY about her…and I steered clear of her like she had a contagious disease. That’s how nervous interacting with her made me feel. I fumbled with my words. My hands were shaky. I constantly talked about myself lol. All the wrong things to show a girl. Avoiding her made sense to me because the further away I was from her the more calm I was haha.
3. “He has no interest in talking to you.” Wrong. See #1 above.
4. “His body language/general behavior.” This is difficult. If you’re nervous, you might be looking all over the place. It depends. The girl I liked would say hi to me, then look away before I could make eye contact. Or, she would talk to me while looking down or off to the side, even after approaching me first. If she’s interested but just nervous, it could be the same for a guy too. It was with me.

Reply November 9, 2014, 4:00 pm


@Morgan: because.. They only like you for sex! Duhhhh

Reply November 5, 2014, 12:42 am


Very childish attitude and comments towards people that have problems, some serious can cause lasting damage and even harm, so comments like yours are best kept to yourself.

Reply November 5, 2014, 8:01 am


I first off want to let you know that reading everything you have to say makes me feel so much better, it’s empowering and brings me back to reality…
I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years, we have lived together and have gone through so many stages together, we’ve been through the good and the bad but always there to help eachother and most importantly being there for eachother when we need eachother the most, two nights ago we had a talk, he’s been so distant and I told him we needed to talk, he couldn’t even look me in the eye and he said he felt like we are a married couple, that he needed a break and time to work on himself and be selfish? Then he said he had fallen out of love with me , I’m the type of person that holds on to all the stuff said :( I started crying and asked him what hapoened, I found out not to long ago he had started talking to a friend who was interested in him and I had confronted him about that and they ended up not talking anymore so I asked him if there was someone else, they had plans to meet up and hangout and at that moment that was extremely painful but we decided to move on, now I’m lost Idk if I’m wasting my time with him anymore I still love him very much but if in continue in this relationship any longer the pain will be worse :( what’s confusing me is after he dropped me off he wanted me to kiss him? He said he did love me and that we could work it out.. is this normal for a guy to think like that ? Should no let go of the voices in my head or just cut ties? I’m so confused and hurt :(

Reply November 4, 2014, 9:50 pm


Yes you are bound to be feeling hurt right now and so upset, he wanted you to kiss him because he still loves you and is mixed up” some guys dont like the thought of getting to settled and would like to know if there is something better out there for them, he basically wants his cake and eat it at the same time, if he gos off he wants to know he can come back and that you will have him back! so his just checking to see if you still love him by wanting you to kiss him, Id say for get him and move on, he wants something more and is after something more than what he has with you, he wants to play the field so to speak! and hopes you will be there waiting for him if it all gos wrong. How ever painful it may be for you id cut all contact and try to move on , hoping that you will find some one who DOES deserve you as he clearly does not.

Reply November 5, 2014, 7:51 am


So in a situation where you have a talk and you give him an ultimátum, he decides he wants to work things out he doesn’t want to break up, he would just like me to make it interesting again like before? What does that mean? To show up at his house in costume lingerie? Lol I’ve tried looking up new restaursnts, walks to the park I just don’t know what direction to go towards, what does it mean when a guy asks you to make it interstitial again?

Reply November 7, 2014, 12:27 pm


In the early stages of relationships, they’re always interesting. It may or may not be directly related to you as a person. One problem with your relationship may be that you have been living a “mini-marriage” without actually being married. That’s why he said he felt like he was in a marriage. It works for some but not for others. What do you want? What does “Work things out” mean? Marriage? Here’s the deal: 4 years is PLENTY of time for both of you to know if you want to marry each other. If he hasn’t married you by now, he feels that you’re not special enough to be taken off the market. The ultimatum should be something like: “Lets get engaged and married within 6 months or breakup”…unless you’re fine living together and never getting married. Obviously he’s not ok with the mini-marriage – he’s getting bored and the easiest thing to do when you’re not married but bored of your g/f is to ditch and jump onto the next interesting ride. Relationships require actual work, which he doesn’t seem interested in. Sounds more like he wants you to take the reigns and spice things up while he measures up your efforts with other women available to him.

With that being said, you can still try different things to make things “more interesting”, such as some of the things you mentioned. You may want to consider showing him you mean business by moving out. You also should cut down time with him, it will make your time together more meaningful. I honestly think he’s strayed a lot because he doesn’t feel like he will lose you. I had a gut feeling I should’ve told my best friend he was going to lose his g/f of 3 years if he didn’t marry her, but I didn’t say anything thinking it wasn’t my business. Then almost 3 more years go by and he lost her. He DESPERATELY wanted her back too…he even proposed on a whim but she had already moved on with another guy. They were living together and having sex (mini-marriage), she was supporting him, etc. Many guys will take whatever they can get from a girl and drag their feet. It’s sad, but it’s the truth. Some guys recognize what they have is a special thing, and they put a ring on the finger asap. There really needs to be more boundaries regarding dating or else marriage can lose its value. Wish you the best

Reply November 9, 2014, 4:57 pm


Some guys “love” being in love, and a new love excites them so much that they seek another partner or seek a different sort of love just to get that new love feeling back again.. (falling in love for the first time with some one) is so special and excites both partners you know the feeling ? after some time that feeling is not there anymore …. some guys love that feeling and crave it as well as seek it else where time and time again till they are satisfied and no longer crave the first love reaction, an old love does nothing for them unless you both make it exciting again… but this is a hard one, how ? and even if you do some sort of role play or something different in the relationship, you can not keep up the interesting new love for very long …he will always want more until he has had enough of the first love feeling and settle.

November 11, 2014, 7:35 am


Why do guys always tell you they use to like u afterwards but never told you they liked you the time they did this has happened to me a lot ?

Reply November 4, 2014, 6:25 pm


Get to know a guy for a while first, i mean really get to know them!…. if they want sex, the first week or days you know there only after one thing!! and as soon as they get it, they dump you, Thats why its happening to you alot, there is more to a relationship than just sex, so explore that with your new man first. never give them what they want, a great relationship is built up on friendship then love, and sex comes much later.

Reply November 5, 2014, 7:56 am


I met this guy online and immediately we hit it off. We would text each other in paragraph format! About 2-3 months later, her told me that he liked me (this was prior to meeting) and I sort of felt the same way for him. We did end up meeting and hung out the entire day together! It was a good meet up because i took my friends and we all went out to the beach and had a really good time. After that, everything was going great we started to really have interest in one another, we continued texting and communicating with one another a lot more. The second time we met, we had decided to meet up half ways in a poor little town (we didn’t expect for it to be the way it was) and we had spent the whole day together and did little cute fun things, we pretty much tried to make the best of it and enjoy each others company! I got home and we said good night but the next day I had noticed that our texting wasn’t as fun like it used to be. It felt to me like he had lost interest. I asked him and he said that he still was interested in me, yet i just wasn’t sensing that from his side of the conversation. This went on for about half a day almost a full day. We began to text again more but I keep sensing that he’s not into me and that maybe he doesn’t want to tell me yet because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. We live about 4 hours away from each other! This is the first time I have ever been exposed to what a long distance relationship could be like. As weird as it may seem, but before he wouldn’t go on his fb and now he’s beginning to go on in constantly, i think it’s maybe to communicate with other girls? It’s interesting because he also had mentioned, after our last meet up, which was this weekend that he wanted to take things slow. That the reason for him not even holding my hand was because he didn’t want me to flip out. I’m not sure, it could’ve also been that he lost interest because i’m really shy and i find it hard to hold up a conversation when i am shy. Once i’m no longer shy, i break those barriers and can be myself 100% which is really outgoing and goofy!! What do you guys think? Not enough information?

Reply November 4, 2014, 5:38 pm


I think it’s best to just have fun and not think about how much he likes you too much. You are a confident woman and you don’t need that validation from him. I wouldn’t invest too much energy and thought into him yet and talk to other guys too since he didn’t make you his girlfriend yet. Best to assume he likes you and have fun.

Reply November 7, 2014, 11:08 am


My boyfriend(now ex-boyfriend) broke up with me this past Thursday, after being together for 9 months. He said that he wasn’t happy anymore, and that he didn’t want to be tied down. He is 17 and I am 15. I lost my virginity to him, and he lost his to me. I am very confused because he would tell me that he loved me, and he was acting normal until Thursday. Now I look at his snap chat best friends and it’s #1, his girl bestfriend, and #2 is a girl he had a thing with before me ): I check to see who’s he’s following he followed 4 girls on instagram ): and in his snapchat story he looked happier then ever, this is killing me, the pain is just terrible. I have depression, and I just started taking depression medication. I have been thinking of suicide more then ever. I feel as if he just no longer loves me, or cares about me, and that is killing me. I cannot deal with this pain any longer. I don’t know what to do. I have skipped the past 2 days of school, if I have to see him with someone else, it will kill me. He hardly got any girls before me. I’m so heartbroken and hurt. What do I do, I just want him to still care about me… ):

Reply November 3, 2014, 3:13 pm


There is more in life than this, don’t worry! I can’t imagine your pain, especially since it seems like this guy was your first real experience with deep-rooted love. There’s so much I want to say, but I want to keep this simple…you need to figure out how to move in a positive direction or else this will destroy you.
1.) Begin to find a way to refocus your mind on other things in your life. The heart is a great thing, it can survive tremendous heartbreak. You will prolong the process, and hurt yourself more, if you dwell on it. It’s out of your hands anyway. You have to respect his decision, though you may not like it. Read through some blogs on other people’s experiences with gut-wrenching breakups, it may help you feel like you’re not alone and there could be some good advice there. Also, find several things in life that are positive and encouraging to “reprogram” your thought-life. There’s an old saying “As a man thinks, so he is.” Your mind is so powerful – harness the power to your advantage and channel it by doing other constructive things/thoughts.
2.) Forgive him! Seriously. Don’t fault yourself, or him. Forgive yourself also. Now is the time, at 15 years old, to begin doing this habitually. A broken heart that doesn’t deal with pain properly by choosing to forgive (and be forgiven) can lead to a bitter, wretched heart. You don’t want that. It’ll stay in there until you deal with it, and many will tell you how many years/decades they spent bitter over a broken heart when they could’ve released themselves via forgiveness. Choose it today. Choose it tomorrow. Choose it forever.
3.) Commit some good quotes to memory so you have something to come back to when the depression comes swooping in. I like poetry and bible verses. I also like stories of epic challenges that were overcome through much adversity (Ernest Shackleton’s voyage to the antarctic, Joseph and his 11 brothers in the book of Genesis, for example).
4.) Put it in perspective. Though your pain is intense, look around at a world that is full of people in more dire situations: The infant children left on the street with no food and no family, victims of rape/incest, orphaned children with nobody to come visit them, etc. Maybe choose to volunteer at a few local shelters, libraries, churches, etc.
5.) Don’t follow him. Follow other things that will be inspiring and help you grow as a person. Following him has caused you nothing but despair. Don’t waste your time on a past you can’t change. Learn from it and move on.

You’re so young, now is a great time to challenge yourself to work through this. Doing these things may be more difficult than drugs but will produce long lasting results that you can share with other young girls as you get older. They will need someone to light the way in a world that can be so dark. I wish you the best!

Reply November 3, 2014, 9:08 pm

death by heartache

I could not have said that any better. You are a wise lady. I have lost my strength and to hear you speak so gently brought tears to my eyes. So thanks for sharing with us all.

Reply November 5, 2014, 6:14 am


You’re most welcome. I’m actually a guy – but no biggie. Thanks for the kind words. You’ve lost your strength too? You could be in a very good position right now actually…see 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. I’m trying to commit this to memory for my own sake.

Reply November 6, 2014, 9:38 pm

Online problems

Hi guys i dont know how to put this whole situation into words but here i go, Basically I met a guy online in a chat room and we hit it off, he was one of the first people i had spoken to in the room, i only spoke to him when i was in the room but we spoke everyday. i got his skype and we messaged each other alot, thing is i know hes had little friend ships with other girls before me online as he was in the room 3 months longer then me. But we had become awesome friends and i found it hard to not talk to him everyday and he didnt seem to mind as he would always reply. problem is from day 1 he made sure i knew he didnt want a relationship online and i was the same and would assure him i wouldnt “fall in love” lol. Months later i realise i have feelings for this guy and i tell him and he tells me he would love to date me too but we live too far and its just not realistic i agree with him as we live across the world from each other and circumstances just wont allow us to meet. We flirt alot and stuff but he wont show me his face, i know its odd how i can fall for a guy ive never seen besides in one picture but i have i dont go for looks i go for personality and he has one of the best out there. He has mic’d with me so i know hes a guy lol but i cant help but feel like the other girls who also havent seen him. he assures me that i am one of the only girls online he has grown to truly care about but he still treats me like the others, he said he doesnt want his real life getting influenced by whats online and i understand that but now whenever i mention him not cam’ing he says “this really bugs you doesnt it? if it does bug you that much just dont talk to me alot then”
He doesnt understand that i have tried to avoid him but i always find myself coming back, hes not a bf but i do care about him and want to be in his life and want him in mine. How can i tell him this without him using the “dont talk to me then” reply.
Oh also i call him by his name when we talk on mic or in skype but he always calls me my chat name which is odd because he knows my real name, i find it annoying because it feels like he doesnt see me as a person and i used to correct him but i just dont do it anymore.
I know he wants to talk to me too because i left chat because id wait for him and it was getting too much for me to do that and i told him that the only reason i went was to talk to him he said i was the only reason he went there too and he hasnt even been back since even though ive popped in a few times. he has talked to me on skype. I just find it hard to like him so much and for him to not trust me enough to cam (he has seen me on cam many times). i dont even know if he likes me or if hes using me for stress relief. every time i make a joke about saving myself for him he replies with “you need to find yourself a real man not one online” i know he knows its a joke but i feel like he makes a conscience effort to remind me we will never work out. Help me its been 8 months :'(

Reply November 1, 2014, 3:11 pm


You are being “USED” this guy is either married or in a relationship already and is looking for fun, he is using you for a bit of fun as that what the guys call , sex chat. Dump his ass before you really get hurt . There are many online esp on social sites, that look for girls to get there rocks off, if they start sex chatting dump them! you are worth more than a bit of fun!! and no woman should be treated like this by any man.

Reply November 1, 2014, 4:36 pm

Online problems

We arent dating so i cant dump him and i find it hard to dump him as a friend, we never talk about anything sexual and if it is its literally just a little flirting like me saying im gonna marry him as a joke. i know i sound like im sticking up for him but he is honestly a great guy and i dont know how seriously i should take the no camming thing, i might just not reply to a message he sends on my skype for a few days and then tell him i cant deal with it if he doesnt cam but i also dont wanna be that girl that is forcing him into a corner to get what she wants. Thank you so much for replying its given me alot to think about but i feel like i need a way to get him to open up and just cam already.

Reply November 2, 2014, 2:40 am


Seems to me your mixed up , one minute you care and have feelings and even joke that you love this guy, but honestly … the fact is you do love this guy” you are acting in a manner to say that you do. Even being on the defensive mode proves it, He is what he is and you clearly have problems yourself to deal with, decide if you do actually want this guy as a friend or not, because thats all its going to be and it will not be anything other than just friends, so stop complaining his not camming you. Men dont like playing games,. and your clearly playing games.

Reply November 2, 2014, 7:04 am

Vickie Van

Ok. I met this guy who I really like. We talked for s couple of months before we got intimate. The intimacy turned out to be great, especially to him, we had an altercation and stop talking for about two weeks. I really was ready to move on but suddenly I started to miss him, so I texted him and told him I missed him. He called me immediately. We talked and texted for about 2 more weeks before we saw each other again. During these two weeks he told me he missed me, he loved me, and he wanted me intimately again. The feeling were mutual. So we ended up seeing each other and fulfilling each others needs. The next day after, I didn’t hear from him by text or by phone. This worried me a little , because for we seen each other it was a daily keeping in touch. The day after next I texted him and asked how he was doing, he answered ok. Then nothing. So I asked him were we still talking. Later when I talked to him he said he didn’t feel good so I left it alone. The next day I asked him was anything wrong he said yeah he just can’t forget about what happened between us that caused him to leave his job. So he was putting the blame on me. All the time I thought he had forgiven me because he had moved on and found another job in his profession immefiately and said forget those people he was about to leave them anyway. So we continue to talk. Now I started having problems at work and wanted to change companies also. ( truck driving) I tell him what I’m going through, he gives me dierections to get my way back to terminal and I drop truck off. So when I get home we talk he really didn’t want to engage in a long conversation, so I text him something I really wanted him to know cause I felt he wasn’t really responding to me. We end up say harsh things to each other and him telling me to get a life! After this I told him I really didn’t want to fight and could we still remain friends, possibly me being a girlfriend if he cared. He text me back and ask could we still be intimate. I tell him he ismy only partner and I wanted him. He asks again, can he have more pu__y? I asked him is that all he wants from me he says no. So I ask him what else does he want, he says pu__y and money! I asked him is he trying to pimp me cause I’m not a whore he says no. I also let him know I need money too! I tell him a couple of things I need money for right now and he doesn’t respond, and I never asked him for anything. He still doesn’t respond. So I send a text telling him if he ever decide that I’m a decent enough woman to consider being a girlfriend of he’s and we can communicate, get along with each other and have fun , plus share our finances together he could give me a call. So far it’s been about 3 days and its driving me insane that I haven’t heard from him. I’m just wondering will he ever call?

Reply October 27, 2014, 7:00 pm


Dump this scumbag !!! and also tell him – every body is responsible for there own actions in life , and not to hold you to blame for his fu”k ups!. This guy just wants money and sex and your being easy, thats why he comes back because you give him what he wants, its clear he does not want a relationship with you as he would be calling and texting you, instead your doing all the running (so to speak) so its one sided. Get RID asap, your worth more and are better than he is, ,you will find some one soon who does deserve you !!!

Reply November 1, 2014, 4:48 pm


I have a crush on someone. He goes to the same college with me. Since we come from different countries, I thought that it’s not a good thing to have relationship with him. When we first met, he showed me some hints that he was kind of interested in me. I totally ignored him at that time. He is a nice guy and he is friend with most of people I know . I mean my friends. We got to know each other through friends. I told my friends to come to my birthday treat party because they made surprise birthday video for me . He came too because he was in the video ! Then, we did not know each other I mean introduce ourselves ! I was shocked when I saw him in the video. He said happy birthday to me and also told that he wants to be close with me. At the party , he sat right in front of me with the help of friends cos they changed seats when he came ! I cooked something at the party but I cooked really bad. So, I apologized to people who came . And he asked me i really cooked the foods and he ate every foods I cooked even some are burnt and some are too salty . He gave me compliment that it’s delicious and helped me washing dishes after the party. After that, I feel like he is really nice n kind and my feelings for him grew bigger and bigger . He always come and say hi whenever he meets me . Always says that I m pretty but actually I m not ! He acts shy when he sees n talks to me. Those made me think that he is interested in me. On his birthday, many friends made a surprise party n I was there ! There were so many people wish him happy bday ! So, I was not that distinct among those people but he found me n came to me and thank me . I had Bday present for him but I m afraid people would find out I love him ! So, I took my present back with me. I could not sleep the whole night , feeling sad n confused what to do . Finally, I decided to give him a card at least ! When I gave a Bday card to him, he was so happy (I swear) he was so happy and told me “this is the best I’ve got” ! I was so surprised to hear that because I gave him just a bday card ,nothing else big n special! I asked him why and he was hesitate to give me answer n then said “oh because it is a letter “! That does not make any sense , does it? He also sent me message saying that he likes my hair because it’s pretty ! When I say congrats to him for something n he replied that congrats is the gift for him ! Whenever I said something on my FB wall, he did something related with that . For example, I posted that I wanna go to a place n later he posted the photos of that place ( he went there) ! So, those things he did made me really confused if he likes me or not ! Sometimes I think he does not like me cos he does nothing to improve our relation. But sometimes I think that he likes me for what he has been acting ! I would like to know if there is a little chance of knowing that he likes me or he liked me ! Help please :) thanks

Reply October 20, 2014, 1:20 am


I started a job at a smoke shop almost 3 yrs ago. A group of Native American guys came in who were lo ud and obnoxious and would come in every day and make a dent in the quiet.By the 3rd day i decided that the only interesting man that walked in the door was one in that group. Will they pretty much disappear except for the one. He grew up and lives right down the street.He is an on and off customer as he lives on a res a lot of the time with his grandparents. But this on an off customer spends time with me. Talks to me.At the time I met him he was getting past a 7 yr relationship. (Thats done.Been clarified.) He stops in the store even if he is not buying anything to say Hi when he is in town even if it is just hi and bye or he spends time. I took 3 mos. off work and saw him walking down the street once.I came back to work. He started showing up.Sometimes to buy smokes and would be in a hurry. But other times he would just stop buy and lean on my counter for 15 to 20 minutes. In feb he had to go up north. About 3 weeks ago his brother who unknowst to him has become my little buddy over the 2 plus yrs as well comes in says says i was told to say hello to you make sure I say hello to you. he said hit him up on facebook. So I did. Went to his timeline. Ran onto another person I know who is now a friend on and off fb. No coincidences. more to that but..He started posting stuff and I fell in love with him. We were all over his timeline and news feed. His phone got shut off.HE was on an off a few times didn’t comment on all this stuff I posted stopped reading m private messages. being he was a close friend i could see his newsfeed . that was an accident. he commented on other girls picks and made to new femal friends.He had told me he would be here on the 19 and he didn’t want to communicate on facebook. i did anyway. He deleted alot of stuff including a haircut pic which is like a yearly thing that he posts pics before In the before pic i said don’t you dare on the comment. Then ne posted at the barber or hairdresser. And we had a whole conversation about it. he deleted it and a bunch of other stuff. So I took all my personal stuff off his timeline and left the friend stuff.He took a photo album he posted for me down. And then he showed up on the 21st.Told his brother that he was drunk talking o me and din’t realize how deep he got . i say bs. he knew who he was talking and where i was going and he would not make that mistake with me. not a chance because i have a business relationship with him as well and he has to run into me in the neighborhood.So he shows up . Not for me but for dinner at the taco stand next door with his 2 little brothers.Came in , while they were waitng and he said he would be back but i had to close up. He was in the next day i was at work. pretense sodas for hjimand little bro. but it as obvious little bro knew he was supposed to wait. Then he came in again. With another brother. Brother got a call from his cousin who can’t stand stand me.Made his brother wait and his cousin wait. then he sent his brother off. said he would catch up with them later.I stayed awhile longer and left. Said he would see me tomorrow. I didn’t realize I don’t work tomorrow. But he came back. Pulled up the chair in front of the counter and started talking to me.Backed off when customers came in.Polite to customers.Itting there in my store like it was totally normal for him to be there. My male customers checking him out. Didn’t phase him. I asked him on fb to tell me his hopes and dreams. He told me over the last few days. told me problems and obstacles and financial and legal stuff. Navajo law.I took a pic and asked him if i could post it before he left the 2nd time he said yes. go ahead . when he came back i showed it him and he made sure i TAGGED it. Today evrything is gone from his news feed but I stuuf I shared with him is on his timeline. plus family pics I took and sent him from my store.So the whole 1.5 hours he spent with me the 3rd time during my 15 hour shift, he made his bro and cuz wait for him outside. He went out and had a smoke and dealt with their objections once. So my questions is what is up with him ? I mean there are obstacles. I am way older than him and I am white. and now he knows I am Jewish and that carries some weight for him. Yeah there is predudice but that is besides the point. Then there is peer pressure.his family and friends liked my pics of the bro and little sis and some friends/relatives, but no one like the pics we posted together that he is here in town with me. He did not come back here for me. there is a compelling reason he is here which he explained to me. I just don’t know what to thing. He will see me the next time i am at work. That is as far as it has gone. I mean he is getting to know me and letting me get to know him. W have always talked. we can tell each other anything. There is no such thing as platonic. i has been told.Is this guy considering me or what? what does anyone think?

Reply September 24, 2014, 11:57 pm


I hope my boyfriend want to be say honestly me!!

Reply September 13, 2014, 9:58 am


About 2-3 weeks ago, i began crushing on O because of the moments we have had lately.He teases me a lot, does lil pranks on me, and every time we would walk by each other, we smile or laugh for no reason. Also I’ve caught him looking at me from afar in the store, then i look at him and he just keeps staring.That has been happening in the days we have worked together. Also he checked me out because he said “damn that ass” when he was standing behind me, but in a playful manner. So its just small things like that that has happened recently, and we haven’t had the chance to talk about ourselves. Except that he also works in a gym and used to study culinary. Then this past monday he initiated the conversation, he asked “sooo, how old are you [my name]?” and we had that lil chit chat. So do you guys think he might like me or is he just being friendly? I think he might like me, but then i think about how he is a pretty boy, fit, muscular, and hes about two inches shorter than me. I’m like 5’9, “thick” not obese or super fat just a lil chubby, trust me lol. I’ve been called beautiful and pretty and stuff, but I’m just insecure at times. So what do you think?

Reply September 11, 2014, 11:25 pm


I met this guy at work an we’ve been chattin for over 2 yrs now and started seein each other on an off when possible..I’m separated now an he stays over odd times..he seemed to be very attentive to my messages and everythin else but since he found out my age..I’m older than him..he thought I was same age..and I never told him cause he never asked and I never lied either..just seems he is on an off with txt messages..not as attentive ..although he is very carin..doesn’t show much or say much bout feelings..can anyone help..I want this to work ..he’s like my prince I do tell him that..

Reply September 7, 2014, 4:31 am


He’s been texting me and I’ve been texting him. I even left my phone alone for a few days to see if he still wants to talk if I’m not the one starting the conversation. So far everything is positive, but he’s across the country, on a NAVY base in south carolina. We both have admitted to eachother that we want to cuddle with eachother, but him being the one with the more reliable bank funds, doesn’t try to visit. Lately I’ve been thinking he only likes me because i am over here and not right in front of him. I’m safe, it just puts a major damper on my self esteem….

Reply September 3, 2014, 6:54 pm

zainab ali

So I have known my best friend for over a year now hes liked me an expressed it but stupid as I am I thought it wouldn’t work as he lives 3 hours away I had a problem a few months back N spoke to him about it tbh he took it to the next level of caring about me now he’s protective anyways he has a gf but he’s not happy with her I told him I liked him but it was a shock to him as he was with someone at the time my mates say he likes me but I think he dlesent he has family problems an when we planned to meet up he cancelled as his parentd eeded him there he hasent told me he hates me he just cant decide how he feels unless he sees me he wants to see if we get along like we do ober internet and bbm he calls me beautiful whistles at my pictures but lately he’s not been answering his phones or text whats going on please help I need to know if I should stay or leave btw hes not that spoken meanin like he bottles all his feelings up and doesent say anything for example when canceling on me he didn’t tell me he was upset cause he really wanted to see me instead he told my male friend another thing im concerned about hes cjanged a lot cause when I used to date my ex he hardly reacted to it now if I have other male friends who flirt with me he gets all hyper about ig an frustrated its like he doesn’t want me to talk to them he even asked me who that lad wad the one who spoke to him for me please help me :'(

Reply August 31, 2014, 8:31 pm


Ok so there was this boy who i thought loved me but now he wants to be friends telling me what’s wrong being friends or why are you mad or that I will satisfy your needs and wants and I care about you I just don’t love love you anymore and that he was cold and really didn’t care how I felt he’s changed and I don’t like it what should I do?

Reply August 28, 2014, 2:42 am


Sounds to me that this guy does not love you im sorry to say , but wants to be your friend… So you have a choice – Walk away and dont speak or see him again, Or tell him ok, it will just take time for me to see you as a friend because you meant more to me than just a friend, please give me time ok and then walk away …. (i know its hard but hold your chin up and walk away with pride act like the grown up that you are). When your ready and after you have dealt with the pain of rejection, and you are ready to be friends with this guy you will know when the time comes.

Reply August 28, 2014, 6:27 am


Ok here’s the deal. We both work for the same company, but at different places. He found me in the end of July, I was doing some work over there. Any ways he comes to see me, tells me he’s been looking for me for a couple of years, every time he comes to my work I’m not there I’m all ways out, well he goes on to say he that he’s been wanting to talk with with me so I gave him my #. We’ve been on several dates, had sex several times . He makes feel like no other man has. It’s like I found my sole mate. Were done having kids neither one of us want any more, all of his are out on their own, on they other hand I have a revolving door my kids are grown but they have problems of some sort that brings them back home for a month or 2 some times longer. There’s more about me and he knows all of it well most of it. He wants me to go with him on weekends but I haven’t been able to go because of work, so now I wanted to do the holiday weekend with him. He’s going to visit some relatives, so I told him I could go with him there he said I wouldn’t like it. So of course I’m asking why is it getto or worse or is it high class and he has not responded back, the only thing he said was for the following weekend. But little things like this has got me thinking. He treats me with kindness and respect and I to him . I know our relationship is just beginning, ,,,, but there is that BUT Oh I almost forgot next month we both go back to work full time and he stated that there won’t be time for us maybe a weekend but no week days, this was mention about a week ago. I really believe he’s my solemate, we have so much in common. When he does come back from his weekends it’s like I can’t wait to see him, he seems happy to see me to. Am I reading to much into this? Or am I jumping to fast. He’s like the best that’s happened to me in a long, long time….Thanks for reading!**!

Reply August 24, 2014, 9:48 pm


I started dating a guy who is in the navy about two months ago and is say we got kind of serious quick. I would see him night before he left for his underway then when he got back we continued where we left off. He recently decided that he wanted to get out of the navy sooner than planned and asked me to move with him to another state. After that night, work was really busy for him and he wasn’t texting me at all. I texted him asking if he was mad at me for some reason and he told me he was sorry and that work has just been crazy bu