Are men flirting with you without you even realizing it? How do men flirt? Here’s 21 giveaway signs that women often miss for when a guy is trying to get your attention and impress you.
Is there any feeling more intoxicating than when you’re flirting with a man and he actively flirts back? It’s one of the best parts of being a single woman. Whether it’s across the table on a first date or with the mysterious guy next to you at the bar, flirting is just fun.
Where it gets less enjoyable and more stressful is when you can’t tell if the guy is reciprocating. Most guys are not particularly coy about their feelings, so this doesn’t end up being a common problem.
For those men who are a little on the shy side, or just more reserved about their intentions, it can take a smidge of investigative work.
If you’re feeling up to the task, check out our list of 21 ways that men flirt.
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1. He can’t stop smiling.
When you’re around someone you like, you tend to be unable to hold back your smile. Maybe it’s because you’re laughing at a joke that wouldn’t have been quite so funny had it been anyone else saying it. Maybe there’s something so charming about them that even though your face hurts from grinning, you just can’t stop.
In this area, guys are no different. Being around someone you like makes you smile. We can all tell the difference between a genuine and a forced, polite smile. If the guy you’re into is unable to stop beaming at you, there’s something about you that’s making him feel that way.
2. Eye contact.
For something that requires zero physical touch, eye contact can be insanely intimate. Even someone hanging onto your gaze for just a few seconds longer than what would be normal is enough to surprise you.
If you’re into someone, extended eye contact can send a powerful jolt through you. It’s a popular option for guys who are a little on the quiet side but still want to show their interest. Without saying a single word, they can convey their curiosity about you. Bonus points if his eyes travel from your eyes to your lips and back again … In this situation, we all know where his mind is wandering.
3. He licks his lips.
This body language cue can stem from a few reasons. If he’s feeling flustered, he might lick his lips because his mouth is dry. It can be a nervous tick for some people, done subconsciously when they’re jittery.
But lip-licking can also, of course, be suggestive. Biting, licking, or generally playing with your lips can be a discriminating yet evocative way to signal your interest in the person you’re looking at.
4. He leans in close.
In addition to showing that he’s listening to you, leaning in close is a way to express intimacy. We all have a personal space bubble, and we always catch it when that perimeter is infringed upon. You don’t want an unwelcome stranger stepping into that boundary, but when the guy you’re into does it, you take welcome notice.
It may be a subtle difference in the distance between you, but don’t take it for granted. It takes some nerve to close the gap between the two of you, and he’s doing it for a reason.
5. He mirrors you.
It’s a natural human instinct to mirror the movements of the person you like. If you’re picturing a mime copying your exact movements, think more indirect. It’s not all about posture. Do you ever notice that you pick up certain words that your close friend uses all the time? It may not be something you’d normally say, yet you find yourself easily reaching for it during a conversation.
We mimic the people close to us, especially the ones we want to impress. Observe if the guy you’re flirting with takes cues from you. He might simply adjust his expression in accordance with yours, or even alter his level of enthusiasm in a topic. He may mirror your body language- crossing his arms when you cross yours, leaning in when you lean in, as well as your tone of voice.
6. He touches you.
There’s a way a man can gently make contact with you that is a pleasant indicator of his interest. It’s not overbearing and it’s not accidental, but rather it’s somewhere in between. It might be a brush of your fingers when you walk side-by-side. Maybe he playfully punches your arm in a conversation.
However he chooses to make contact, you can be certain that he’ll be studying you for a reaction. Make sure you respond in a way that lets him know how you’re feeling about him, whether that’s leaning in or pulling back.
7. He’s nervous around you.
Try as we might, it’s a real challenge to be our coolest selves around the person we like. If there’s ever a time you’re going to fumble with your keys or forget what to do with your hands, it’s when that person is standing next to you.
If a guy seems fidgety and anxious around you, there’s a good chance he cares a great deal about what you think of him. This is especially true if the guy is normally relaxed but appears on edge when you’re nearby.
MORE: Foolproof Flirting Tips
8. He checks you out.
Okay, so there’s a smooth and a not-so-slick way of checking a woman out. When it’s done poorly, it elicits an icky feeling. At the same time, a guy giving you an impressed up-and-down look can make you feel pleasantly lightheaded.
It’s usually not hard to pick up on it when a guy is appreciating your look. Maybe his eyes linger on your necklace or he compliments your dress. A gentlemanly acknowledgment of how good you look on a particular night is definitely a sign he’s paying attention.
9. He makes an effort in his appearance.
While the idea that a man “peacocks” (dresses flashy to gain attention) around women he likes may be a bit extreme, it’s got an element of truth to it. Just like you doll up when you’re going to be around your crush, guys make an effort when they’re going to be around someone they like.
It’s not always as obvious when a man is dressing to impress, but you’ll still see the signs if you look closely. Whether it be in an ironed shirt or well-styled hair, there are always giveaways when a guy has put in some prep time.
10. He acts differently when you’re around.
If you’re flirting with that cute guy across the bar, you may not be able to use this particular sign to figure out his intentions. But if you’re around a guy enough, you’ll pick up on whether or not he turns it up when you’re around.
A naturally quiet guy might suddenly become more loud and exclamatory when you’re around. If he’s nervous around you, the opposite might be true. It could be a very small change, such as his posture straightening and his attention focusing when you walk closer. Whatever the change is, acting differently around you means something significant.
11. He blushes.
Blushing doesn’t require much explanation or interpretation. This involuntary bodily function can be maddening if you’re trying to “be cool,” but it’s a great way for someone to get an idea of your feelings towards them.
While some people are naturally more prone to rosy cheeks than others, it’s usually when you’re around your crush that you turn the most undesired shade of red. Even though this may be frustrating for the person experiencing it, it’s quite charming to be on the receiving end of. A guy who flushes in your presence is a guy who has strong feelings about you.
12. He pays attention when you speak.
How frustrating is it when you start telling a story and the person you’re speaking with starts scrolling through their phone? We live in a world of short attention spans, but the guy who wants to get to know you will not do this.
When a guy is into you, every word you say is worth noting. Instead of glancing around or checking his phone, he’ll attentively listen to you speak. He’ll likely tilt his head or nod. When you finish, he’ll have something other than “mhm” or “yeah” to contribute to the conversation.
13. He does the “eyebrow flash.”
By no means an obvious sign, the eyebrow flash is one you really have to be paying attention to in order to notice. We tend to reflexively raise our eyebrows when we’re interested in a person or what they’re saying.
It’s almost like by slightly widening our eyes, we can get a better grasp on a person or their words. It’s subconscious rather than purposeful, but it’s still a handy cue you can observe if you’re watching for it.
14. He teases you.
You probably have tons of inside jokes with your best friend. Playing around with someone indicates intimacy. You can’t poke fun at someone you aren’t close to (unless you’re trying to be a tool!). By teasing a person, you establish a stronger bond.
Teasing someone is one of the easiest ways to start expanding a relationship. A guy might lightly mock you for the silliest thing, and it’s just a sign of him trying to grow closer. If you’re receptive to it, he’ll feel more comfortable pursuing things further.
MORE: Signs He Likes You
15. He’s always around.
It’s not a coincidence if your favorite coffee shop suddenly becomes his morning go-to. Do you notice that when you hit “RSVP” to an event online, he’s always in attendance as well?
A guy who always turns up in the same place as you is a guy making an effort. This also applies to actual physical proximity at events. As you mingle throughout a party, do you find he’s always in your peripheral vision? He’s keeping you within his sights because you’re on his mind.
16. He turns into an alpha male.
We’ve all seen a guy abruptly bristle into an “alpha male” type of posture when he wants to convey a particular message. There’s usually some straightening of the spine and a slightly puffed up chest. He might put his hands on his hips or innocuously flex his muscles in just the right way for you to see. This particular phenomenon can also affect his voice, which becomes deeper.
This entertaining cue is most likely to occur if there are other guys around who he could view as competition for your affection.
17. He laughs at everything you say.
This is in no way a slight on your comedic timing, which we’re sure is spectacular. No matter how funny you are, the person who likes you is always going to find you about 10x as humorous as the person who doesn’t.
You’ve probably experienced this yourself. Do you find yourself giggling at even the mildest joke that your crush offers? We can’t help eating up everything that person says. Remember this tendency when you notice a guy grinning and chuckling at everything you say.
18. He tries to make you laugh.
In the same vein, we are instinctively drawn to people who are funny. Who doesn’t want to spend the majority of their day upbeat and laughing about something? Guys know that a sense of humor rates highly on a girl’s “boyfriend wish list.”
Don’t be surprised if a guy pays attention to your positive reaction to a bit and then brings up something similar repeatedly. In addition to trying to make you smile, this helps to establish inside jokes.
MORE: 10 Signs He’s Flirting
19. He remembers the little things.
Remembering the small details about a person’s life takes sincere effort. We all have enough going on that we don’t go around making this effort with others unless we genuinely care about the person.
This could manifest itself in a variety of discrete but thoughtful ways. If you mention an upcoming event to him, such as your aunt’s birthday, he’ll ask you how it went the next time he sees you. He could also pay attention to your favorite drink order and have it ready for you the next time you meet. When a guy shows you that he’s filed away details about you, he’s showing his hand.
20. He’d rather talk to you than his friends.
When you’re out in a group, does he single you out as the one he wants to talk to? Choosing to chat with you instead of his buddies is a clear sign he’s interested in you.
This is especially meaningful if he has to navigate you away from your friends in order to have a conversation. Doing so takes guts, and a guy isn’t going to risk embarrassment for someone he’s only lukewarm about.
21. He makes you giddy.
As usual, the way a guy makes you feel is the number one thing you should be paying attention to. Have you ever had a brief interaction with a man that was so infused with unspoken flirtation that you couldn’t stop smiling when you walked away? You might be driving in your car an hour later and suddenly giggle at the mere thought of it. Is it warm in here or is it just you? The way a man makes you feel is your best indicator as to his intentions with you.
Respectively, if you find yourself confused and unhappy, stop wasting energy trying to figure a guy out. The right man will not leave you hanging. If he seems to get a kick out of keeping you guessing, he’s definitely not worth your time.
I hope this article helped clarify the telltale ways men flirt. If he is flirting with you, that’s great! It means he probably likes you and wants to take it further than flirtation. If you want a relationship with him, then there is more you need to know. Do you know what really inspires a man to commit? Do you know what it takes for him to see you as girlfriend material, as a woman who is a cut above all the rest? If not, you need to read this next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
Biggest Ways Men Flirt:
- He can’t stop smiling.
- Eye contact.
- He licks his lips.
- He leans in close.
- He mirrors you.
- He touches you.
- He’s nervous around you.
- He checks you out.
- He makes an effort in his appearance.
- He acts differently when you’re around.
- He blushes.
- He pays attention when you speak.
- He does the “eyebrow flash.”
- He teases you.
- He’s always around.
- He turns into an alpha male.
- He laughs at everything you say.
- He tries to make you laugh.
- He remembers the little things.
- He’d rather talk to you than his friends.
- He makes you giddy.