Exactly How to Know If a Guy Likes You FOR SURE post image

Exactly How to Know If a Guy Likes You FOR SURE

“Does he like me?” is by far the most oft-asked question amongst girls in the dating world.

They discuss with their girlfriends, they read articles about what “signs” to look for, they analyze every interaction, every text, every facial expression, all in the hopes of finding that elusive answer.

The sad fact is, this is a huge waste of time and energy because deciphering whether or not a guy likes you is incredibly simple. In fact, I can sum up this article in one sentence: when a guy likes you, it’s obvious!

Every day, on Facebook, in the comments section, in the forum, in my inbox … day in and day out I hear variations of the same question: Does he like me? How does he feel about me? Is he committed to me?

And really, when you get to the heart of it, if you have to ask … you already have your answer.

It really is as simple as that, but I know people love to look at signs, because that just makes it more tangible and easier to see. So I will give you a list of signs that a guy likes you, and then we’ll go a little deeper and talk about the number one thing to look for, the thing that matters more than anything, as well as why women get so confused by these situations. We’ll also look at ways we set ourselves up for heartbreak. Let’s begin.

The Biggest Signs a Guy Likes You

1. Body language cues

He might not be saying anything with his words, but his body language will let you know exactly where he stands.

The biggest sign he’s interested is that he stares at you, a lot. This makes sense. Men are visual creatures. When they see something they like, they look at it, and can’t stop. Another thing to look for is the “eyebrow flash.” If basically means he raises his eyebrows when he sees you. But this is one of those blink-and-you’ll-miss-it sorts of things, so don’t get too hung up if you didn’t spot it.

Next, he makes eye contact and stares at your face when talking to you. His eyes may bounce for your eyes to your lips and back again. He will also lean in when talking to you and angle his body facing you.

He may also preen a bit when he sees you. He may fix his hair, straighten his tie, straightening his shirt. This is another reflexive thing we do because… well, he wants to look his best for you.

Another thing you might notice is he gets fidgety, almost like he forgot how to use his hands.

Make sure to read this article for the exact body language signs that mean he likes you.

2. Eye contact

The eyes are the window to the soul … and they’re also a window into knowing how a guy feels about you!

We covered this a bit in the section on body language cues, but it bears repeating and going into more depth.

When a guy likes you, he will look at you. When talking to him, he will most likely make eye contact. This is probably the most intimate you can be with a person without actually being intimate. If you want to do a test, try to hold his gaze for four seconds. If he stays engaged, he’s interested. If he looks away and starts scanning the room, he’s probably not interested.

And like I said, if his eyes wander to your mouth, well he’s definitely into you and attracted to you.
What if his eyes are shifty and all over the place? Well, it doesn’t always mean he doesn’t like you. It’s possible he’s just shy or nervous or insecure, so you have to look at everything in context. If he doesn’t show any signs that he like you and doesn’t make eye contact, then he probably doesn’t like you.

You can also pay attention to his pupils. Studies have found when people look at something or someone they like, their pupils will dilate. Don’t get too hung up on this one, it won’t work if you’re in a dark setting, and you’ll also look a little crazy if you try too hard to scrutinize the size of his pupils.

Finally, look at what he does after making a joke or telling a funny story. If a guy likes you, he’ll look in your direction to see if he made you laugh.

3. He talks himself up

If a guy likes you, he’ll want to present himself in the best light, and often, guys can’t help but trying to make their case via words.

Pay attention when he talks to you. Does he talk about himself? Does he tell you about his accomplishments or achievements? Is he doing a little of “humble bragging” (I only ran 8 miles today, no big deal). If so, he likes you and is trying to prove himself a worthy candidate.

Also, watch how he reacts when you say things. Does he lean in closer, maybe gently stroke your back? Or does he look away and shift uncomfortably as if looking for an excuse to exit the conversation?
A guy who doesn’t like you will feel uncomfortable if you encourage on his personal space. A guy who does like you will welcome all intrusions with open arms!

4. Speaking of touching … how does he react to being touched?

If a guy likes you, he will find ways to touch you, whether overtly or “accidentally.” And he will welcome any touches from you.
Pay attention to all signs of physical touch. It could be obvious, like an arm around your waist, or more subtle, like your legs accidentally touch while sitting and he doesn’t move his away. Or maybe it’s a high five that lingers a little too long. The point is, he will find ways to make your bodies meet.

Also, pay attention to how he reacts when you touch him. Does he tense up and back away, or is he warm an receptive?

The caveats here are he might be a shy, awkward type of guy and maybe feels extra nervous when touching a girl he likes. Or he might be a playboy who welcomes female physical affection in any form with wide open arms. Again, look at the full picture, not the tiny pieces.

5. He treats you differently

When a guy likes you, you will have a different status in his life, and he will treat you differently. Maybe he’s the kind of guy who flirts with everyone, but he’ll flirt differently with you.

If he’s a macho guy, he might tone things down when he’s around you and show a softer, gentler side. He may act a little protective toward you, like holding your hand when walking down steep stairs, angling his body to almost shield you when walking through a crowd, and just looking out for you.

Pay attention to the way he acts with other people and compare that to the way he behaves around you. If there is a difference, it’s probably because he like you.

6. He gets nervous/fidgety around you

Even the most confident guy will get a little nervous around a woman he likes. Some signs of nervousness are sweating, blushing, fidgeting, stuttering, stumbling over his words, taking deep breaths, it’s one of those things you know when you see it.

Quick note: don’t call him out for it, this will just make him feel embarrassed and clam up even more. Just take silent comfort in the fact that you make him nervous.

If he’s nervous around you, it means he really wants to make a good impression and doesn’t want to say or do anything stupid to screw things up.

Again, take it into context. It’s also possible he’s just a nervous guy in general. So if that’s how he is all the time, it doesn’t mean much. But if the nervous guy gets extra nervous around you, then he probably likes you.

MORE: This Biggest Signs He Doesn’t Like You

7. He shows interest in your interests

You tell him you just went to see a concert, he asks what band, how it was, what your favorite songs are, how long you’ve liked them, he basically wants to know everything.

He shows intrigue and interests in all the things you’re interested in. And he uses those interests as a means to get to know you better. He may dig a little deeper and ask more questions. This is another major sign he likes you. When we like someone, we want to know everything about them.

8. He mirrors you

Mirroring is a subconscious thing we do when we like someone. It basically means he copies your actions. He may mirror your or the way you cross your arms.                                                                                                                       Closeup portrait of young couple talking while walking along a beach. Young man and woman strolling on a beach.A good way to show reciprocal interest is to mirror him. Touch your face when he touches his, shift your stance when he angles left, cross your legs in the same direction as his, etc.

Him wanting to be in our close vicinity is another major sign. If you’re in a crowded place, you may find he always seems to swim your way through the sea of people. When he’s around, he always seems to make his way to you.

9. He playfully teases you

Remember in elementary school when a guy would pull your pigtails to show he liked you? Well, not much has changed except the ways of teasing have become a little more refined. But we never really grow up all that much!

If a guy likes you, he will playfully tease you. He might make fun of you (in a lighthearted way, hopefully, he won’t be exploiting your biggest insecurities and vulnerabilities!). He may playfully punch your arm or playfully tease you for a stain on your shirt or something else silly and innocuous like that.

Just beware of a guy who gets a little carried away with the teasing. If he crosses the line from teasing to being aggressive, then stay away.

MORE: Unmistakable Signs He’s Into You

10. His friends know all about you

If he likes you, he most likely told his friends about you. He may not have come out and said, “I really like this girl,” but he most likely would have told them stories about you, or something that happened when he was with you. The point is, your name has come up in conversation!

Pay attention to how his friends react to you. Is there recognition? Do they just seem to know a lot about you? Do they give you that special smile that says, “Ohh, so you’re so-and-so!”

11. He notices things about your appearance

A new haircut, a new sweater, a new makeup look, he notices any time you tweak your appearance. The reason is obvious, he stares at you a lot, he’s memorized every feature, so of course, he notices when something changes.

12. It’s obvious

Above all, when a guy likes you it’s obvious. You know, he knows, everyone around you knows. That is really the only sign you need. The sign that trumps all others. I talk about this a lot more later in the article, so keep going.

Why is it so confusing?

Okay, so if the signs are so clear and it’s so obvious, then why are so many women so confused in this area?

I don’t blame you – I have been through the exact same thing many times. You meet a guy and you feel chemistry, maybe he asks for your number, you send flirty messages, maybe you hang out a few times, but he doesn’t officially ask you on a date, and he gives you no indication of how he feels.

He seems into you, and you know that the chemistry you feel can’t possibly be one-sided, so what the heck is going on? Are you wasting your time on a dead end, or do you need to just wait it out a little longer before landing in relationship-ville?

The excuses I have come up with over the years when trying to figure out if a guy liked me and to explain away why he wasn’t asking me out are truly out of this world.

Maybe he’s afraid of ruining the friendship…maybe he likes me so much he’s scared … maybe he’s intimidated by me … maybe he thinks I’ll reject him. I would entertain every possible scenario except for the obvious … that maybe he was into me, but not enough for it to matter.

MORE: 5 Signs He’s Not That Into You

Where most women get confused is in that gray zone, the area where he shows interest but nothing really comes of it, and you just don’t know how he feels.

But here’s the thing: you do know. It’s obvious. He is somewhat into you, he has fun with you, but he doesn’t like you enough. Or maybe he does like you but just doesn’t think you would work out as a couple – and if that’s how he feels, then he probably isn’t the right guy for you.

I know how hard it is not to take such things personally. I mean, if you like him and he doesn’t like you in the same way, then there must be something wrong with you, right? Wrong. Not everyone is a match, not everyone is compatible, and sometimes the timing just isn’t right, and that is something that is totally beyond your control.


The Fantasy Future

Another reason a lot of us get so confused in this realm is that we cling to the vision of how we want things to be, rather than seeing what is. You want a relationship with him, so you cling to any sign that he wants the same thing.

You focus exclusively on tiny pieces of the puzzle instead of putting it all together to see the larger picture.

When looked at individually, a puzzle piece can be completely ambiguous, so you create your own interpretation of what it means.

This obsessive line of thinking is what Eric and I often refer to as playing “emotional detective.” Women will dig into their memories and observations and go through every detail, no matter how small and insignificant, to try to uncover a “hidden message” or “secret code” that the guy is sending. The reality is that by playing emotional detective, you usually only succeed in doing one thing: driving yourself absolutely crazy!

The problem is that it can feel like obsessing and analyzing will have some sort of payoff, like there will be a reward for all this time and energy spent attempting to figure out what’s what…but there won’t be.

Guys Don’t Hide Interest

Men, in general, are goal-oriented. They see something they want and they pursue it. It’s how they’re wired.

It goes against a man’s nature to like a girl, see an opportunity to pursue her, and turn the other way.

Men don’t typically play games or do things to intentionally mislead or manipulate you. When a guy likes you, he is drawn to you. He wants to be around you, he finds reasons to talk to you, he becomes a presence in your life, and he gives you a special kind of attention that no one else is given.

He lights up around you, he is excited to see you, he loves spending time with you, and he wants to get to know you more. Once he does, either a relationship will develop, or it won’t. (If it doesn’t, it’s probably because he realized you aren’t compatible.)

TAKE THE QUIZ: Does He Like Me? 

It’s Obvious…

When a guy likes you, you just know. You see it in the way he looks at you, in the way he talks to you, in the way he factors you into his life. You see it in everything.

When I first started dating my husband, like very early on, I remember that if he took a little while to text me back he would always give me an explanation as to why, something like, “I’m sorry, I’m at a noisy bar and didn’t feel my phone vibrate.”

I would never expect him to reply to my texts right away, and I would never expect or need an explanation. People get busy; sometimes I go hours without responding to texts. It happens. His explanations for his texting lag-time were his way of showing me I mattered, that I was important to him, that he would never read a text from me and not reply to him. It was a small thing that spoke volumes. And when a guy likes you, you will have countless examples like that. You don’t even have to ask, you just know.

You don’t worry about the relationship or stress over it and doing so would almost seem silly. Even if you’re just dating but you aren’t official, you don’t worry. You know how he feels. And the people around you know how he feels. Your friends will see it, your family will see it, the waitress will see it. It will just be obvious.

MORE: How to Stop Stressing Over Your Relationship 

If he likes you and wants to be in a relationship with you, he will make sure you know it and he will pursue it. If he likes you but doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, then …who cares? Why are you even thinking about him?

I have made the mistake of waiting around for some guy to get his act together, and those situations never end well. You have to live for yourself, you have to live according to your timetable, you can’t invest in what could be, and you need to see and appreciate the what is.

Where to Put Your Focus

Putting your focus on getting a guy to like you, or figuring out if he likes you, doesn’t serve you in any positive way. Where you should put your focus is on really liking yourself and on finding happiness in your own life. Trust me, I know it’s way easier said than done, but that’s what makes all the difference.

The fact is, you have to trust the timing of your life. Trust that things will unfold as they are meant to. We don’t have much control over anything in this life. You can’t control how a guy feels, or when, and if, certain things will happen to you and for you. All you can do is find a way to be at peace, to accept yourself as you are, and to love who you are.

I dated my husband in high school for a few short months and was absolutely crushed when it ended. While I have dated many, many guys over the years, none of them could quite measure up to him and I could never pinpoint why.

We didn’t stay in each other’s lives after our breakup but our paths would fortuitously cross every few years somewhere totally unexpected and every time this happened I would be filled with a renewed sense of optimism and hope. I would convince myself that now was our time, that this was it, the chemistry was so palpable, so how could he possibly not feel it too? After each run-in, we would maybe talk once or twice on Facebook, but then he would fade back into the abyss.

Last summer we ran into each other, yet again, in Central Park, but this time I didn’t do what I had done so many times before.

I didn’t analyze our interaction, I didn’t read into what was said during the brief Facebook chats we engaged in following the run-in, I didn’t question or try to figure it out. I lived my life, I focused on ANM, I spent time with friends, I went to Italy, and then on Labor Day weekend — I really can’t explain why — he reached out to me and asked me out.

From date number one it was obvious that this was it, that we were in it for the long haul. It was so, so obvious. And now we’re married.

MORE: Exactly How to Know if a Guy Likes You

You could say that I always knew, that I always felt it, and this is true, but there was no point in dwelling on any of it because he wasn’t there yet. In fact, I wasn’t even on his radar as someone to date for the entire decade we spent weaving in and out of each other’s lives. Yes, the raw potential was always there, but it couldn’t be manifested until he reached a certain point in his life.

There’s no point in figuring out if a guy likes you if he isn’t taking the steps to be with you. Fine, maybe it’s validating for like a minute, but if he can’t give you the relationship you want, then there is no point. Maybe someday it will work out, maybe it won’t. You can’t know such things, so don’t waste your energy trying to predict the future.

You can’t always explain why things happen and you definitely can’t make someone feel a certain way and want certain things. You just need to trust that it will all be OK and try not to panic in the middle of the sentence. Trust me, life has a way of really surprising you.

So in sum, stop asking if a guy likes you. Stop looking for the clues and the signs. If you have to wonder, you have your answer. When a guy likes you, it is obvious.

I hope after reading this article you know exactly how to tell if a guy likes you. Whether he does or doesn’t, it’s really important for you to be aware of the one key moment in any relationship that determines if it will last forever, or if you will wind up heartbroken. At some point, he will start to pull away and may lose interest. He’s not as responsive to you, he’s not as excited by you, and it feels like you’re losing him … do you know what to do in this situation? If not, you might make one of the major relationship-killing mistakes that many women unknowingly make. Read this now so you don’t fall into that trap: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...

The next issue you need to be away of is at some point, your guy will ask himself: is this the woman I want to spend my life with? His answer will determine the fate of your relationship. Do you know what inspires a man to commit, and what makes a woman stand out from the rest in his eyes? If not, you need to read this right now: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman

Written by Sabrina Alexis

I’m Sabrina Alexis, the co-founder, and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing relatable, insightful articles that help people understand relationship dynamics and how to get the love they want. I have a degree in psychology and have spent the last 10 years interviewing countless men and reading and studying as much as I can to better understand human psychology and how men operate. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Instagram.

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I’m not really sure why everybody says that “if he is into you, you will know it”… I’ve had a couple of guys who I had NO idea were into me… who I adored… and I only found out later (when they told me, but it was too late). So…. work that one out!

Reply September 4, 2021, 6:41 am


So I’m not used to dating I was married for 15yrs we broke up 3 years ago and the first guy I dated ended in a year relationship. He wasn’t the one so I ended things. So I just started to date a very handsome guy had a good career and he’s been wanting to take me on a date for over a year now but it never happened. So finally we went on a date a few days back and he was super nervous at first but then we clicked super well he told me never felt that way before that he usually ends his dates fast because he finds no profound connection and never dates on a second time. So we went on our second date and I have to say that we have such great chemistry but he confuses me because he tells me things like I think its love, at first sight, I feel butterfly’s with you that if I need anything to please call him money, etc.. We can kiss for hours and one thing is he doesn’t disrespect me. But he tells me.how deep his feelings are and I can’t believe it because he just met me. He tells me he sees wife material in me. So my response to him Is ok lets her to know each other better I’m not the type of girl to sleep fast with man and by u telling all this sweet things make me thing that’s all you want, he denies it he says he can’t wait till I’m ready that of course he Would love it to eventually one day to happen but that he’s not in for that. How can a person have strong feelings without knowing the other person well?

Reply June 24, 2019, 12:00 am


Hello Sabrina,
So I have this crush on this guy I been crushing on this for 4 months I’m a teen and I was new to his school everyone knew that he liked his bff but she did not like him he is nice to everyone mostly girls he has a lot of girl friends but he seems to care about me (well that’s what I think) every time he sees me not talking he asks me if I’m okay we been getting closer he even gave a nickname one time when we were alone I tried to talk yo him i did not know to start a conversation so we starred questions I asked questions about him but he did not ask me a single one well we come to this movement we gaze at each other for 5 seconds I felt butterflies in my stomach none of us moved our eyes we gust stayed there looking at each other eyes but we got interuped and it seemed like nothing had happend we find his friends and he starred talking to them more than me I would rather tell you more about this but I’d rather in private please tell is he into me or am I another girl to him

Reply November 9, 2018, 7:50 pm

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Reply October 3, 2017, 12:51 am


I was wondering if y’all could decipher this text?? Apparently he is claiming that I read it wrong and I don’t see how I have. Like he is meeting my son and I at parks, inviting us over, we talk everyday, he will text me out of no where with good news, or if he is having a stressful day, he gives me long hugs when I leave, he babysat my son so I could get get my nails done, etc etc so I am greatly confused by him telling me I read this wrong…

” See, this is where things get tense. Do I have proactive interested in learning about you? I think that seems obvious, even if that sounds callous.I don’t go out of my way to find out much, about you or anyone else. And that’s not intended personally, although I don’t know how else you could take it. The flip side of this coin is that I do still pick up my phone and interrupt stuff I am doing to talk back to you, and I am actively trying to avoid pushing you away.”

Reply August 23, 2017, 9:11 am


I have done some rousing with this shearer quite a few times now as hes always getting called to come by my grandad. Hes really nice and everytine he always initiates converstaion with me. We always talk about our children life etc and its nice. He brings up topics a lot as i can be shy at times until ive opened up a bit more. Hes gives me full eye contact when we talk listens carefully and is alwsys smiling as he makes me smile. Hes older and has 3 kids. And 1 lives with him full time. So ive added him on fb he hasnt accepted yet. Im just wondering have i read the signs correctly? From my eyes i feel as though he likes me from his signls he puts off. Just need some thorts.

Reply July 27, 2017, 6:16 am

Ann Hathaway

Hi! There is boy and I have a huge crush rather i m in love with him from past 4 years.He first wrote on a paper that he likes me even before i knew his name then i fell in love when i went to ask he said its nothing like that.Then i fell in love.We both are in same school but diff classes . We live opposite to each others house and we can see what sgoin on in the house.He wears the same dress code as i do sometimes and finds and unnecesarry reason to come out from where i can see him.We have am unusual eye contact. But neither he nor me is taking a step .What should I do?Is he in love with me. Its been 4 years the love for and from both of us increases day by day and has now grown v strong but no one is approaching

Reply April 1, 2017, 4:21 pm

Ann Hathaway

Hi! There is boy and I have a huge crush rather i m in love with him from past 4 years.He first wrote on a paper that he likes me even before i knew his name then i fell in love when i went to ask he said its nothing like that.Then i fell in love.We both are in same school but diff classes . We live opposite to each others house and we can see what sgoin on in the house.He wears the same dress code as i do sometimes and finds and unnecesarry reason to come out from where i can see him.We have am unusual eye contact. But neither he nor me is taking a step .What should I do?Is he in love with me.

Reply April 1, 2017, 4:19 pm


I met this guy and had a great date with him exactly one week ago. During the date he suggested meeting a few days later on the weekend, I said I would love to but we didn’t make any solid plans. He text when he got home saying he had a nice time, he also text the next afternoon. On the Saturday he texted good morning and I replied but no response from him after that and we didn’t end up meeting. The next day, another good morning text….these good morning texts have come every morning since the date (except one day I said good morning first as I hadn’t replied to his message from the night before) and we exchange a few lighthearted texts from there on and I never text back right away-Usually just because I am busy at work or driving. I believe that I have shown I am interested in him by being responsive without being too keen or trying to pursue him. I don’t know if this is backfiring as he didn’t follow up the suggested second date (I thought he maybe just forgot but I know I am probably kidding myself) and he hasn’t suggested another since. YSo what gives? Why initiate contact every day but no plans for another date?

Reply March 30, 2017, 4:17 am


so theres this guy i was into..long story short.. he wasnt /isnt over his ex. and i knew it.. but i fell for him. anyway.. i would get mixed signals from him all the time (i dont wanna go into detail unless discussed in private). eventually, i confessed how i felt and got friendzoned. said he saw me like a sister.. so naturally, i distanced myself and started doing me.. last weekend i went to some party, i said hi then minded my own business (didnt pay attention to him like i used to but still acknowledged his presence) and he would pull me in to dance with him which he never does. and i was the only one he would pull in to dance with him.

Reply November 21, 2016, 12:32 pm


Don’t get taken in and confused. I even told a guy I cared. He told me to my face he didn’t want me! The signs were there.. Sitting outside my house the stares the standing close etc. Now he married ex left him and now he’s doing same thing. He can’t commit he’s darn weird. Tired of waiting for nothing. What a waste. Moving on 2017 with new attitude. That’s it. I’m finally free in heart and mind over this person. So happy. I’m sure I will find a real man soon. And so will u.

Reply December 22, 2016, 7:38 am


I was dating my boyfriend for 2 yrs before we broke up just before the holidays in nov. We lived together and currently still are. He wants me to take the time I need to find a place that is best for my daughter and i. Which I appreciate. Reason for the split was that it was hard to blend the kids, he felt I was to hard on his kids, and we are both stubborn and always right. We didn’t communicateven well. He said he tried but I feel I tried. He tells me he loves me very much that he just can’t do this anymore. I give him space and mind my own but the minute I do. He is in my face talking about what our problems werected. He tells me he is very hurt and this is tough on him too. That he thought I was the one. I went and stayed with a friend and the whole time it was where are u? are u coming home?I thought space was best. Now I’m not sure. We have slept together a few times…I know the love is there but how can I get him to see that? I’m not sure where to go from here…like I said I can see the pain in his eyes and I know he loves me…my thing is though, if he loved me that much would he let me go?

Reply December 26, 2016, 11:38 am


This is by far the best and truest article about dating I’ve come across.

Reply October 21, 2016, 10:58 am


That’s for sure!

Reply December 22, 2016, 7:40 am


There’s this guy I really like at work, we used to text a lot – even on our days off and we talk about other things. Recently though, he hasn’t been texting me as frequently and even if I text him first, he won’t reply to one of my messages, but will reply to something I needed to be resolved at work. People at work think that there’s something going on between us – it’s obvious to them. At work, he’ll come find me and we’ll talk and my coworkers catch him sneaking glances at me. This may seem redundant to ask, but I really can’t tell what to do from this standpoint on! Any advice?

Reply October 16, 2016, 12:36 pm


Well, not always true. My last relationship that lasted for 4 years started after almost a year when I liked him a lot, but he just didnt give me the signs. I would text him, we’d exchange a few messages, and then he’d never reply. When we were with friends, he talked to other girls more than me. Very seldom did he reach out to me first and he never asked me on a date. So I friendzoned him, thinking that he was not into me, and started dating someone else. When we finally got together, he revealed that he kind of fell in love with me the week we met, but as a shy and unexperienced guy with low self esteem he thought that I was out of his league and any attempt to date me would lead to rejection, failure or both. And it was only after I persuaded him that I had strong feelings for him and would not reject him that he finally opened to me. Had I asked him to take me on a date when we barely knew each other rather than ten months later, he’d see it as a joke and reject me regardless of his feelings. So the thing is… You just never know. Guys have various reasons for acting strangely and it’s often more about them than us.

Reply August 31, 2016, 5:48 am


Hi I’m not really sure if this guy likes me. We were at a party with a bunch of friends and well the cops showed up. I wound up running in a corn field and he found me and comforted me we have never been very close but he constantly had an arm around me or made sure that I was warm or that I was okay and if I was walking behind him he would make sure I was still there and if I needed help he was there if it wasn’t for him I don’t think I would have made it but during all that I started to like him and I don’t know if he was just being a good friend or what.

Reply July 24, 2016, 10:32 pm


He might just be a gentleman. Are you guys dating now? I see this was posted back in July.

Reply August 29, 2016, 12:36 pm

Donna Glasgow

Hi Sabrina,

I realize that I never been in any relationship for longer than 6 months. I am 40 years old. I will say however that I am the one who has always broken up with the guy, for fear of being hurt. I don’t want to continue like this anymore. I want to be in a good, healthy relationship and I want to be free from all fears and hang ups about men.

I recently met a guy but he is in a relationship with someone. We met about 4 months ago while I was on a business trip and on the day we met, I believe because of how deeply we connected, being physical was something we could have done but choose not to do.

Since then, he calls me every day and has done so for 4 months now. He shares every part of his life with me and values my opinion. He is also there for me the minute I express concerns or even hint that something is wrong. He says he more than likes me.

I like him a lot but I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who is in a relationship with someone else. I must admit that he is a loving and respectful man. He makes time for me and he uses every opportunity to spend time with me.

he always says that he is glad that he never started off the relationship between us with a sexual encounter because he would not have gotten to know the person that he cares for now.

Sometimes we feel like really great friends. Best friends even, so much so that I often recommend that we remain just friends but he says no to this.

This man I possibly love more than any man I have ever met. We have not been intimate as yet but he wants to be and he says that he wants us to continue to get to know each other.


Reply July 23, 2016, 4:34 am


I am 35 yo girl dating the 40 yo successful doctor. He’a a succesful Physician Assistant in SF, divorced and has 1 son. I also come from a highly respectable Indonesian famil We’ve been in 10 months of long distance before he decided to come to visit me on July 16, my birthday. He never mentioned before that he’s taking his female PA with him even though he told me that after visiting me he’s going to go to Singapore for a medical conference. We had great times, finally made love. everything was beautiful until I got drunk and I felt that his female PA touched me. the mistakes I made was I yelled at his Female assistant, when I drunk on my birthday. I also refused to have sex with him. I didn’t remember any of the event cause I was so drunk, I only remembered that I vomit before I passed out.
The next morning he became cold and distance and kicked me out from the apartment we rented, his PA told me that he needs to go to Singapore to attend a meeting and I better leave cause they want to finish some work before going to the airport. at first I complained cause he promised to stay with me at least for a week but he told me that he is also shocked with the change of schedule and asked me to leave soon. Before I left, I apologized directly to his PA about what happened when I was drunk and also apoloflgized to him for pushing him away when he tried to have sex with me while I was drunk. He kissed me and hugged me before I go and told me that he’s proud of me for being calm and showed dignity under the unexpected circumtances. Shortly after I go I sent him long messages to thank him for a memorable birthday and the effort he made to fly from San Fransisco to Jakarta to visit me, I also apologized for my attitude when I was drunk. I told him that I will give him space and time he needs, I told him I love him and I don’t need another man to make me whole and I will just do the things I do and keep working my way to get scholarship to USA as we’ve planned. I told him, I’ll go to US with or without him. This is the first time I made mistake and for the whole 10 months during our Long distance I showed him I am no drama queen, I am strong, independent and have qualities he needs in a partner.

it’s been 2 days since the night. He’s going back to his country now. and still no call nor messages.
He’s not blocking me on the apps we use to communicate though. I stop messages him and I9 don’t even call him not even once until now. I show him that I mean it when I said I want to give him space he needs.
Do you think I still have a chance with him?
I’m still trying to accept the fact that he broke my heart and he might slept with his female PA. I guess I’m still on that classic denial state.
Any help/advice is warmly accepted.

Reply July 20, 2016, 8:48 pm


Nina, I’d say move on from this one. He might be thinking that you do not know how to hold your own when under the influence of alcohol, to him he might not think that those are qualities he wants in a partner.

As for his female assistant, did you all sleep on the same bed? When you say she touched you, touched you how? It seems like you were jealous of her, did he give you any reason to be?

I would give him space but move on, if he comes back-great, if not, you know not to make this kind of mistake again. Also, please work on your behavior when it comes to consuming alcohol, it’s a huge turn off for me especially those looking for life long partners.

Reply August 29, 2016, 12:35 pm


Dear All,
I recently took the quiz about ” Doe he like me?”, the results that I have received explained exactly what I was blinded to see.
I meet this guy about 3 months ago, and we hooked up the first night of meeting, I thought that was the end of meeting him, until he started inboxing me, and thereafter we started chatting via messaging. We messaged everyday, and I went to him whenever had plan. But I also went to him and he never planned to come to me. I invested a lot of my time into him and got somewhat attached knowing that I had him to go too, whenever I needed to chill and hang out. We talked a lot about the fact that he wants to hook up with other girls because his single and young, and I don’t like that, but nevertheless, we have no title, so why would I want to stop him from doing what he wants to in his life. So I decided to keep my distance and I stopped chatting to him, after I did the quiz and it mentioned that I should keep some distance until he initiate the communication. Which he has, but I am trying not to get my hopes up because I already know that there isn’t any hope in forming any relationship with him, because he has already made that choice for himself about what he wants to do. Thing is, How are we going to make a friendship work, if whenever we hanged out, we hooked up, We don’t know how to just hang out with being sexual. Am I investing too much time in an hopeless situation?

Reply July 20, 2016, 4:09 am


A guy who wants just a hook up is using you and breaking your heart. Stop cold turkey break off this person. Don’t be used ever again. He will never commit. Your life is more valuable than that.

Reply December 22, 2016, 7:47 am


Is There Anybody On Here That I Can Chat With That Can Give Me Any Advice On Love

Reply July 19, 2016, 8:26 pm


hi am really confused…i approached the guy i completely fell head over heels for, he seemed interested. about a wk later we hooked up, i thought that was the end of it but it wasnt, he would come over on his lunch break and just chill. my thing was i would trip out on him when he didnt txt or call me bc right away. he would explain why, he recently seperated so he was trying to get bck on his feet so he wrkd alot. we eventually hooked up again, but once again i got ugly and he txtd me to relax let him do what he gots to do and things would change. i tried but unfortunately he started to no contact rule…i nagged about wntin tme and attention. now he lives a few houses up from me, he seemed mad at the world but nw hes smiling again and ive caught him lookin dwn my way a few tmes. can u help me to figure out if he still wnts me or its over? what should i do?

Reply July 11, 2016, 10:21 pm


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Reply April 25, 2016, 8:39 am


I’m so glad I ran across this article, because everything that you are saying is true and every point you have made I felt, I have been talking to this guy for about a month we have school together and he told me how he wants to be my forever. at first I wasn’t buying it but then he was always texting me and wanting to be around me. so I had gotten use to the idea of being his girlfriend until one day he picked up lots of hours at work so we never had a chance to have our first date yet and I started getting curious but after reading this article I realize where I went wrong. I went in paranoia mode and felt as if I could explode at any minute. I did everything in this article and now I realize. I shouldn’t make accusations up about our future. the future hasn’t even started yet, slow down chica. don’t get yourself worked up over something that isn’t there yet. So what I got from this article is to be patient, focus on myself first and then the right man will come along and bring joys in my life by loving myself and putting myself first he would love to be around me and never want to leave, so thank you I love this piece

Reply April 23, 2016, 11:20 am


The thing with the guy I like is that… ummm maybe I should start differetly. I’m kinda in the situation that I really want to succeed in my studies plus there’s this guy. And I kinda feel that when I really lighten up in pursuing the studying goal he’s no match. Pursuing my studies is like a vision to be fulfilled and every man, except the one’s who also have a vision, would be kind of like a disturbance. At least it’s the thing I think that this is the case – so we’re maybe incompatible? Is that the thing of incompatibility you’re talking of? I really wonder if having BOTH would even be possible??? ;)

Reply March 22, 2016, 2:18 pm


Dear Sabrina,

Thank you so much for this! A very wise piece of advise indeed (which I shall endeavour to take on board!). It is one of those things that make you feel good already as you read it! And thanks for your personal story too. Anyway, sorry, just thought I’d share. I now feel embarrassed I’ve even been googling the ‘does he like me’ kind of stuff but it turns out to be a very pleasant sort of embarrassment. :)

Thank you!

Ana x

Reply December 10, 2015, 11:09 am


Finally…the most honest, sincere, heartfelt article all women should read. Truly brilliant and one I will pass along to my friends that continuously pine away and question whether a guy is into them. While I’m not in a serious relationship I do know in my soul that when I am seeing a guy it’s always obvious whether he’s really interested. They’ll call, schedule dates, text you to see how you are and pursue the relationship. If you’re left wondering and they float in and out of your life you have your answer. As humans when someone or something is important, we make time and invest our energy into that person or pursuit. Just something for everyone to consider. If you keep it simple and remember this it will be easy to navigate the dating world.

Reply October 22, 2015, 1:03 am


How do i speak to you personally? My depression has been causing me a lot of trouble and i have no idea if im overthinking of if im seeing things as it is

Reply October 5, 2015, 3:47 pm

shilpa m

I need help Sabrina.. Please respond.. M devastated

Reply September 26, 2015, 8:16 pm


wil a man who proposes marriage to me stil love me as am far from him.

Reply September 17, 2015, 4:40 pm


Hi Sabrina,

I’ve been following your site for awhile now, and I was wondering if you could give me some advice on my situation..

I’ve been seeing this guy for about 8 months now, and we see each other at least 2 times or more during the week and always on the weekend at sometime. We met through a mutual friend and he was the one to ask me out on our first date. I’m very inexperienced when it comes to dating but when were are together it feels natural. He makes me laugh and we always have a great time together. We share a lot of the same interests and he even invited me to play on his co-ed baseball team this summer with his friends.

He hasn’t had a girlfriend for at least 5 years and he’s told me every one of his girlfriends have cheated on him and that’s why they’ve never worked. When we are together in public people think we are a couple and it gets awkward at times when we haven’t had that discussion yet. We hang out with his friends which are my friends now a lot too and we constantly get asked if we are or aren’t a couple. In July when we were out with friends we were in our own little bubble not really paying attention to those around us, a friend of his asked us “Are you a couple now or what?” He replied “I assumed we were.” But we never discussed it so when I brought it up the next day he claimed that he never said. I’ve tried to bring it up a few months ago too just to clarify what it is we’re doing but I don’t think I did it quite right since he tried to avoid the subject. But he did say he’s not seeing nor looking for anyone else.

I’m just wondering if I push on the subject more or if I should just enjoy how it is at the moment. I know its just a label and it doesn’t bother me when we are together alone, but once people start asking questions it does bother me a little bit.

Thank you,

Reply September 3, 2015, 12:12 pm

Amanda Toure

Sabrina, I think this is a great article. This is eye opening and this is so useful! I will definitely share this with people and take this to heart. I learned so much, and it’s true…when a man likes you, he will make it crystal clear and you will not need to guess at all. He will make it loud and clear.

However, Sabrina, I believe that this article is directed towards women, not girls. I believe you are talking about men, not boys. I am a 15 year old teenage girl who is also asking “Does he like me?” But I don’t think teenage boys have the confidence, maturity or experience to make it clear that they like a girl. Therefore, I believe this article is directed to men and women, not boys and girls. Sabrina, am I right when I say this?

Reply September 1, 2015, 10:09 pm


Thanks for the article Sabrina, it’s so wise… Actually right now I’m in this after-first-date-crush situation and the article helped me a lot. I’m just gonna live my life and see what happens. And if I have worse day I’m going to print this article and re-read it as many times as needed.
Thank you! and all the best :)

Reply August 19, 2015, 4:54 am

Sabrina Alexis

You are very welcome. So happy the article helped and I hope everything works out :)

Reply August 20, 2015, 12:49 pm


Dear Sabrina,

Thanks for your article. I would like to ask for your advice.
I met a guy(English) in mid June, we went out 3 times till now(the 3rd date was 1 week ago), he didnt really ask me out, Friday around 4:30pm, then texted me ‘do u fancy a burger and beer’ or ‘do u want to grab a pizza and beer, if you dont have any plan’. It sounds like so spontaneous, no plan at all.

But we did have good time, laugh and enjoy he meal, the kiss goodbye politely. we keep texting each other for 8-9 weeks, on and off everyday, he is the one always send me message first but I feel that…the messages become less and less compare with the 1st few weeks.

Honestly, Im not sure whether he likes me or not….or keeping me around..as I really dont feel he likes me or into me…

or…it’s because he is going through divorcing now, so…want to takes thing slow? He did tell me, he wants ltr before we met the 1st time… or it’s because I told him we could be friends after our 1st time, so he now sees me a friend only?

The reason why I told him, its ok to be friends, it’s because, it’s obvious that he sent me fewer message after the 1st date, so I thought he was not interested in me, that’s why i sent him ‘friends message’, then he replied, he was no problem to be friends at the moment, as he was so busy in work and felt tired in dirvocing…

Sorry, I know…Im not good in writing, as Im from Asia, hope you understand what Im saying and thanks for your attention.

Reply August 17, 2015, 5:16 am

Sabrina Alexis

I think you’re overthinking things way too much and that is causing the problem. Try not to analyze the relationship and just enjoy being in it. And as I said, when a guy likes you…it’s obvious. There won’t be anything to think about or worry about.

Reply August 20, 2015, 12:51 pm

Sunshine Johnson

Hello Sabrina I love reading the emails u send out and my question for u is this: There is a guy at my workplace that I like and we joke around all the time about different things and a few week ago he gave me his kik messenger name and told me to message him and now at work he makes it a poi t to find out where I’m at and he will walk by me and kind of rub on me or pushed on me in a friendly way and he smiles at me and winks at me sometimes and so I don’t k ow if he likes me or if he is just playing me so I’m asking u for your advice so if u get time will u pleas help me understand….thanks so much

Reply August 6, 2015, 8:05 pm

Sabrina Alexis

It sounds like he likes flirting with you, but he also might just have a flirty personality. Either way, don’t waste your time trying to figure out how he feels. Even if he does like you, what’s the point in knowing that unless he’s actually making a move and doing something about it? My advice is don’t focus on it, just live your life and be happy and if he truly likes you, he’ll make sure you know it.

Reply August 10, 2015, 8:33 am

Patricia Espiritu

I love reading all of your point of views in relationship . It helps me to understand how a man thinks . Questions that I ask myself you seem to know the answer . I am currently dating a man that I’ve known for many many yrs . We started out as friends and now we are seeing each other . I have strong feelings for him . He said he likes me to, but I want more . We have been seeing each other x 2 yrs . I’m afraid to ask him where he see this friendship going towards . I don’t want to pressure him . I want more them just friends .
Thank you Sabrina ..

Reply August 6, 2015, 12:22 am


Hello Sabrina! I just wanted to congratulate you on your wedding and tell you that I’m also getting married this coming February to the man of my dreams! A large part of why my relationship with my fiancé is so strong is because I’ve been following your site for a couple years and the advice here is truly fantastic! I followed everything I’ve read in your articles and Eric’s articles and (and continue to follow your advice) and I really credit your site with helping me work out some of the issues I’ve had with past relationships! Everything you guys say is so logical and makes so much sense. My fiancé and his friends have even said they don’t usually meet girls who understand men so well haha. Thanks for everything and keep the good advice coming!

Reply August 5, 2015, 8:51 am

Sabrina Alexis

Congrats to you as well! And wow, thank you so much for sharing that amazing review, I can’t tell you how much it means to me to hear that and I am so glad our content has been so helpful to you. Wishing you all the best for a life filled with happiness and love :)

Reply August 10, 2015, 8:36 am


thanks again Sabrina for your feedback you and Eric are very helpful. sometimes it’s hard to hear the truth. both of you give such good advice. we are luck to have this site. lot’s of love in S.B.

Reply August 3, 2015, 5:23 pm

Sabrina Alexis

You’re very welcome!

Reply August 3, 2015, 10:12 pm


Wonderful article as always, Sabrina! Your insights are always so on-point and you’re a very gifted writer. Many congratulations on your engagement as well. :)

Reply August 3, 2015, 5:11 pm

Sabrina Alexis

Thanks so much, that means a lot to me :)

Reply August 3, 2015, 10:12 pm

Shannon Hooper

Dear Sabrina,

You are absolutely right. I’ve made up just as many excuses as any other woman for why men aren’t asking me out. And, the times I’ve thought that I just needed to give a guy a little encouragement, I’ve never let an opportunity pass to let a man know that if he’s into me, I’m into him. And, I have never, ever, EVER once had a guy suddenly declare his interest and ask me out. If a man wants to ask you out, he will. End of story.

Life is much, much easier when you except the fact that guys aren’t asking you out because they don’t want to. There is no other reason. But, life is also much, much sadder when you have to face the fact that guys simply don’t like you. It’s a bleak way to live knowing you’re going to spend the rest of your life without any sort of romantic intimacy, without a family, without someone there who has your back when life gets rough….

I think that’s why so many of us make excuses. We’d rather be delusional than live with the truth. But life is what it is. Many of us who don’t want to settle for less than we deserve, absolutely will end up alone.

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! I find myself increasingly happy for those woman like you who manage to find someone to make a life with. I wish you all the happiness and good luck in your new life.


Reply August 3, 2015, 4:05 pm


I feel like what this articles tells me is that I’ve never really had any man actually interested in me or interested in me enough to pursue me. I’ve been approached by guys that I’ve been interested in, but then they quickly leave. I don’t know if I’m acting too interested or not interested enough. I pretty much feel like I want to give up!

Reply August 3, 2015, 3:26 pm

Sabrina Alexis

I don’t think you should focus on acting in any particular way in order to attract guys, I think your focus needs to be on feeling confident and happy within yourself, that is really the key in order to have an amazing relationship and to have anything good in life, really.

Reply August 10, 2015, 8:38 am


Men will often only approach women that are approachable, so if you are tense or scared of being rejected yourself you might unconsciously give off signals that say ‘do not approach’. So I wouldn’t give up just yet =P Work on being more approachable

Reply August 14, 2015, 2:59 am


I absolutely LOVE this article. It is so important to hear and hear and hear (because sometimes we girls says “yes I know but..” ) so hearing it more than once is good. The only thing I would add is that sometimes we make it confusing because of self esteem issues. I’m dating a guy now (after 20 years in an abusive marriage) and on our first date he drove 3 hours to see me (we live in different cities – he didn’t even ask me to meet him half way) he drove here, brought me chocolates, took me to eat, we spent several hours talking and he was a perfect gentleman the entire time. When he left he texted me about an hour later (wasn’t even home yet) and asked me out again. And I noticed myself wondering later that night “does he like me”. When I realized I was questioning things I had to step back and think “why am I even asking” – there were no mixed signals at all. But just as our brains can make up signs that aren’t even there (the emotional detective) we can also make up problems that aren’t there either if we aren’t careful. So if you ask “does he like me”- look at why you are asking – if you can’t see a reason to ask you probably have some issues with self esteem or past relationships you need to work on. (Which I know, I should have those taken care of before dating, but who has that kind of time?) :)

Anyway, thanks again. I love this site and everyting you and Eric do. If I were a better listener – you guys would make this whole being single after 20 years thing easy breezy!

Reply August 3, 2015, 1:42 pm

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