5 Things Guys Secretly Want From You (But Will Never Tell You) post image

5 Things Guys Secretly Want From You (But Will Never Tell You)

One key difference I’ve observed between men and women is that women seem to be much more aware of what they want and need in a relationship…and aren’t afraid to express it. Men, for various reasons, aren’t always so in tune with what they really need in order to feel loved and fulfilled in a relationship, and the ones who are aware will seldom come right out and say it.

It makes sense from an intellectual standpoint. From an early age women learn to cultivate close, intimate relationships and they learn what makes them feel cared for and understood. Male friendships don’t usually have the same depth and level of closeness, so men typically enter the realm of emotional awareness later in life, usually when they form relationships with women.

A guy generally won’t ask for what he needs because a lot of the time, he doesn’t even know what it is. But then when you give it to him, it feels amazing. He feels appreciated and loved, and he comes to love you even more.

And with that, here are the top five things guys secretly love and want from you, but will seldom ask for.

1. Compliments

No man will ever come right out and tell you he likes it when you compliment him because it’s a weird thing to ask for, and also not very “manly,” if you will. But just because he doesn’t ask, doesn’t mean he doesn’t crave.

Men also feel insecure about their physical appearance, and they don’t get nearly as much validation as we do. Think about it, when a guy posts a picture on Facebook or goes out with friends he doesn’t have a loyal band of cheerleaders commenting on how great he looks. When it comes to his physical appearance, you’re really his only source of compliments, so load him up! Tell him you think that shirt is sexy on him, that you can tell he’s been working out hard at the gym, that a certain color makes his eyes look even more striking, that his hair looks sexy pushed back … you get the point!

2. When you ask for his advice

You know how amazing it feels when your man cherishes and adores you and showers you with love? Well he gets the same feeling when you ask for his advice. Men have an overwhelming need to feel useful, to feel like they have something of value to offer. This is true in all areas of his life and especially so in relationships. He wants to feel like he is adding to your life in a meaningful way, and you can help him feel this way by soliciting his advice and opinions.

When I get relationship questions from readers I love sharing them with my husband just to get his take and insights. Usually I already know the answer to the problem (I’ve been doing this for quite a while now!) but I still love sharing it with him and getting his feedback. And he absolutely lights up when given the chance to offer his input.

Men in general are very solution-oriented and thrive when there is something to be solved. That’s why a man will typically try to solve your problems when you talk to him about something that’s upsetting you, something most women get frustrated by because all we really want in those moments is emotional support, and men don’t realize that giving said support is more of a solution to the problem than actually solving the problem! (And if your guy does this, try not to get angry at him, just kindly tell him you appreciate his advice, but right now you just want his emotional support.)

MORE: 5 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men

3. When you desire him

You don’t always need to wait for him to initiate physical affection. Men love feeling like they’re irresistible—like you are turned on by him and can’t get enough—so flirt with him, seduce him, initiate physical intimacy. A huge turn-on for a man is seeing how turned on his woman is by him!

MORE: How to Turn a Man On

4. When you tell him what you want in a way that makes him feel good

Men want to make the woman they are with happy; this is actually one of the biggest driving forces for a man in a relationship. In fact, if a man doesn’t think he can make a particular woman happy, he most likely won’t want to continue a relationship with her. And men appreciate it when you tell them how to make you happy as long as it’s done in the right way. The right way does not include nagging, guilting, lecturing, or shaming. It entails lovingly telling him what you like and what you want in a way that makes him feel good. Framing something as, “I really love it when you …” rather than “Why don’t you ever …” is a good place to start.

When you lecture a man or come down on him for what he’s doing wrong, he feels like a failure. He also feels like a little kid being scolded by mommy for misbehaving. When you tell him what you want in a way that makes him feel good, he feels good about doing it and good about himself because he knows how to make you happy.

5. Support

One of the greatest feelings to a man in a relationship is feeling like he has a woman in his corner, someone who believes in him no matter what and sees him for the great man he is and the amazing man he could be. There is comfort in knowing that you will be there for him even if he fails, especially since failure is the hardest thing for men to deal with. When you support him and believe in him, and it comes from a true and genuine place, he feels on top of the world, like he can do anything. Most women don’t realize the enormous impact our approval has on men; in fact, I would say your guy is starving for your approval. When you’re proud of him, it is a huge driving force. Conversely, when you’re disappointed in him, it’s crippling and makes him feel like a worthless loser.

MORE: The Main Difference Between Men and Women in Relationships


All the five things listed actually fall under the umbrella of the number one thing all men want but will never tell you and that is … appreciation.

Appreciation is probably the biggest motivator for a man and it’s something most are starved for. In order to keep your relationship happy and fulfilling, it’s crucial to express appreciation for all the things he does, both big and small. As I mentioned, men are starved for your approval and they need to feel like winners. When you express genuine appreciation, you’re killing two birds with one stone and giving him the greatest gift you can give. The worst thing you can do is to expect certain things from him or act entitled.

Appreciation isn’t just about what he does for you, it’s about appreciating who he is. Show appreciation for his good qualities, his values, his ambitions, his life choices. Find those things you love about him and show him you appreciate them. Don’t assume he just knows, because he doesn’t. This is probably the most powerful and transformative relationship skill that you can ever master.

Got something else to add? Share it in comments!

– Sabrina Alexis

Want to understand men even better than they understand themselves? Buy our book “10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men,” available in Kindle and paperback on Amazon.
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Written by Sabrina Alexis

I’m Sabrina Alexis, the co-founder, and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing relatable, insightful articles that help people understand relationship dynamics and how to get the love they want. I have a degree in psychology and have spent the last 10 years interviewing countless men and reading and studying as much as I can to better understand human psychology and how men operate. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Instagram.

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Hi Sabrina I have done the best I can to be there for him . THE hardest part is the fact he lives and works as the property manager . HE says he has my back because the neighbor across from me has harassed me for the last 4 years . So now I have decided to move because of her and him . HE tells me cares about me and wants me but I think he just said that.

Reply June 28, 2024, 9:45 am


I’ll take your advice try it and see how it works but I do have a question…. My boyfriend for five months I see he has some flaws that I’m worried about in the future.. Eg. Every time we have a small disagreement and I’m the one who’s suppose to be mad, he takes it and turn it on himself, why does he do that? If he did something that I’m not pleased with and I talk to him about it, it’s like he becomes the victim, start saying that his feelings doesn’t matter and so on… And why when I need something I always have to ask him for it, like he never just know he can do a nice gesture, I always have to ask.. Why ia he like this???

Reply September 23, 2020, 9:11 am


Nice TeachingI Really Learnt Something Thanx For Advice

Reply September 7, 2020, 12:19 pm


I’m gonna try all those out and see if its gonna work , thanx so much guys

Reply December 3, 2019, 9:04 am


I’ve been with my guy for 6 years. I’ve given him all these things and yet he has broken up with me 5 times. It’s because I’m not working fulltime and he’s worried he’ll have to support me. During our 6 years together i have worked FT for 2 years and he broke up with me during that time because that job wasn’t good enough. It’s like we get closer then he freaks out and breaks up. I don’t know what to do at this point.

Reply October 31, 2019, 7:46 am

Susan Volcan

Leave that guy…

Reply December 11, 2020, 5:02 am


This article is just so awesome, it made me see, know and understand why, it’s just so awesome.
Love it

Reply June 17, 2019, 9:30 pm

Raquel Ph

This article is a blast! It really helped. All of your articles are of great help even Eric’s. I also get those mails with ‘ads’ but if you will read it tillthe end it’s actually fleshy and helpful too. Thank you Eric and Sab!

Reply June 7, 2019, 8:23 pm

Phyllis Berry

Women want the same things as men. We all want to be loved and appreciated, complimented and valued. We need approval too.

Reply February 9, 2019, 8:01 am

sabeeha dealmeida

how do I know if a guy has feelings for me

Reply March 27, 2018, 12:55 am


I did everything right. Loving, supportive, no nagging, bragged about him always, took care of myself, independent, asked his advise. He loved cars and rebuilding them I build cars for a living we clicked he is a poet I am a writer it was a crazy connection. He lost his job I stayed he totaled his car I helped him get another one. But he was always having issues with his family (mom dad step mom stepdad sisters exes baby mommas) it got to be a bit much. One evening he couldn’t come over because of this I suggested he take care of his issues and I’ll see him when We can. I thought I was being thoughtful & he would appreciate me. Instead he lost it and in a tirade of text told me to F off and bye! Blocked and deleted me and I haven’t spoken to him since. 2 weeks of silence. So I tried that following Monday to text him someone saying it was his sister answered saying he was sick in the hospital. Not sure if it’s true I don’t think it was. Just being mean &’childish so I walked away. It bothers me but he made his decision. I did everything right though. I think he’s in a bad place &’took his dissatisfaction with himself and his situation out on me. He may be regretting it but has too much pride to apologize so that’s that. Guess I’ll never see him again. Sad. We really connected. Hadn’t felt that in forever.

Reply March 10, 2017, 12:15 pm


I don’t think you did anything wrong but maybe you were too nice. This guy already has mental problems if he has baby mamas and is willing to ghost you like that. I have had the same thing happened to me to a guy I was really nice to you. I think maybe me and you are just too nice sometimes. I think you can find somebody much better and it hurts now but with time it won’t feel so bad and you will find somebody who will treat you better and with less emotional baggage who is more normal. Chin up! I am rooting for you. Please don’t get back with this guy. It will just be the same s*** on a different day. Xo xo

Reply May 3, 2017, 10:48 am

Corinne Bell

dear Eric ,
Since finding your website you have helped me understand my boyfriend so much better. And also helping me , learn more about myself and where I am going wrong.
I was just wondering though if you had any advise on how to sustain a loving relationship in a long distance relationship? To a man who’s first priority is work( he is a workaholic) I get it cause he wants to be successful in life and has great ambitions and that’s one of the things that drew me to him in the first place… However, just struggling cause he is always working, even at home so when I ring we don’t really chat for too long and I don’t see him … I didn’t see him in over a month last month. Obviously , I want to let him do his own thing and be his own person but at the same time … I still want to feel like I am I’m a relationship if you get what I mean? And I don’t want to be the nagging girl that says phone me (as it’s me always phoning him). I don’t want to lose him as he is the best thing in my life and I love him so I want this work… I also want to be the best gf I can be. Thanks

Reply November 30, 2016, 6:50 pm


I thank you for your advice Sir.I am grateful.But I need your comment on this:the man I love I have known for four years but .he never comes I mean we talk via skype and he promises each time to come and,ask for my hand. But he does not.If there us any explanation please help me know the reasons for this delay.

Reply June 14, 2016, 4:09 am


Hi Eric, You’re doing a great job. I have been getting emails from you guys for a long time. I had never taken advantage of it. I’m going through a divorce of marriage of 5 years. I recently started dating and see that I’m having a problem with success in 2nd dates and fizzle out. The emails are encouraging to me. I just don’t know where to start. I’m really interesting in your and Sabrina materials. Now days guys want to text instead of talking and busy schedules. I want to make the most out of the communication and building a lasting relationship as I can. What materials do you suggest for me now? Where do I start? I wish I would’ve stated sooner. I’ve met a couple really decent guys. I’m tired of loosing out and not understanding guys in dating and romance. Please help! Thanks, Sharon

Reply February 2, 2016, 8:43 pm

Eric Charles

Thanks a lot Sharon!

Naturally, I would recommend you:

1) Get on our free newsletter (but you said you are, so you’re set there)
2) Check out our books – He’s Not That Complicated (http://www.hesnotthatcomplicated.com) and 10 Things Every Woman Needs To Know About Men (click the Amazon link here)
3) Read what I’m about to say…

Society makes relationships out to be a big, long, complicated thing.

If you’re approaching things right, love is the easiest thing in the world.
If you’re approaching things wrong, love is impossible.

The problem for most people is that they make love a GOAL, when really, love is best viewed as a bi-product of having the right attitude towards life.

That “attitude” or outlook is that you’re already happy and whole.

You don’t need a man or relationship or love to “make you” happy.

You live your life in a happy way. You are full of happiness and you bring happiness INTO everything you’re a part of.

Instead of trying to get things and extract happiness from them, you “live happy” and you allow your happiness to flow out into life.

I realize that might sound a bit airy fairy, so I’ll put it another way…

Your vibe is what determines how much love you attract from the world.

Your vibe is determined by your mood. So when you make being in a good, inspired, happy mood your top priority in life, your vibe naturally becomes radiant and irresistibly attractive to everyone around you.

You will naturally and effortlessly attract love from all angles in your life.

And as a bonus, you’ll avoid a huge trap that many women fall into: since you are already happy and whole, you don’t go seeking out a man to “give you” love or a relationship.

Rather, you are open to love… and when you spend time with anyone, your focus is on enjoying your time with them because, after all, you’re not trying to get anything. You’re already happy and whole!

If you re-read this comment every day and take a minute or two to contemplate it, I think it will massively help bring about the kind of love life you want.

You don’t need one million tips and tricks. You just need to realize that love starts from within and flows out. And how do you know you are filled with love from with?

You feel good inside: happy, whole and at peace.

Hope it helps.

Reply February 2, 2016, 9:35 pm


Your welcome Eric,
There is another individual introducing similar programs, but the way you present it is very professional. The many articles you and Sabrina submit and email are also very insightful and encouraging. With your personal stories and experience, I trust you guys absolutely and loo forward to learning from your programs. I’m hopeful to soon be able to share my own success story. Keep up the good work!
Thanks again,

Reply February 2, 2016, 9:57 pm


I asked a guy if he was interested in pursuing things as I didn’t want to be in the unknown again. Is it safe to say I’ve ruined things now seeing as he hasn’t spoken to me for the week since?

Reply November 28, 2015, 4:08 pm


Good riddance! People usually find out months after going out that the other person doesn’t feel the same. It’s good to know now than later. Good for you, Sullivan.

Reply January 11, 2016, 3:01 am


I have been talking to a guy for a month, the first week we started talking we would text all the time and we talked on the phone 3 days for 3 hours each time. He is a single dad and has his son full time with no family around. We met while his son was with the mom, the date went well. We did sleep together on the first date and I stayed there. We saw eachother a couple of days later and again slept together. We talked on the phone several more times and text everyday. However, we havent seen eachother in 3 weeks and talked on the phone for a couple of weeks. We had been texting more often(Especially when our Royals were playing, Go Royals) but the texting has seemed to fade. He still replies sometimes but not as frequently, still everyday though. Typically I initiate conversation. Should I be worried? Is it ok to ask if he is still interested? or do I give it time and wait for him to initiate more???

Reply November 5, 2015, 4:38 am


Hi Eric,

I love your articles. They are high quality and I really appreciate the honest and valuable advice you give to women.
Unfortunately some people are quite oblivious to the fact that you have to make a living as well. Maintaining a website costs tons of money and time..
Please keep up the good work, there are many of us who really appreciate what you do!

Reply November 4, 2015, 7:39 am


I am so glad I know this now

Reply November 2, 2015, 1:10 pm


I always love these articles. Sabrina and Eric have helped me a lot. Most of the emails are useful too. Thank you

Reply October 26, 2015, 12:23 pm


You don’t have to click on the videos. No one is forcing you.

Reply October 17, 2015, 3:52 am


I am in a situation I have not really seen you write about yet. I started seeing this guy about two months ago. He has not had a relationship in 4 years (since he had his son with his baby mom). After about a month and a week he asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed. After that things progressed quickly with in two weeks I had meet his son and his family was pestering him to brig me around. Then his sons mom started pestering him about her meeting me (their relationship is rocky). The day after this happened I noticed him acting strange so I asked if everything was good. He said I just needed to be patient with him that this is his first relationship out side of his sons mom which was terrible. He then went on to say he felt like he wanted to take a step back and slow things down. Take the title off our relationship but remain exclusive. He said he doesn’t want to see anyone else but that he is getting freaked out by how serious it is getting and he feels like I could be the “the one” and we are heading down the path of marriage and he wants to continue on our path but slow down and build our relationship more before we bring his son, family, and sons mom into the mix. I tried to suggest us just ending things or not talking to each other for a week and reevaluating but he refused and said he doesn’t want to take a break or not continue dating he just simply wants to take the title off. Is he blowing smoke and trying to slowly end things or is he being honest and what should my next move be?

Reply October 15, 2015, 6:10 pm

Lawanda Ransey

I believe what you said is very much true!! I also will keep these things in mind for when I begin to date again. I have been guilty of nagging lol, I will try your approach. Men tend to be more sheltered and it is very hard for them to express their feeling. I’m glad I been reading your articles because at first I was skipping over them but the other day I actually took the time to read through them all & I was like OMG I’ve been missing great advice! so keep sending them & I will continue to read.

Reply October 15, 2015, 12:14 pm


As a woman who has been in a new relationship for five months, I have to agree with everything that Sabrina said. It hasn’t been easy either, since I’ve been divorced, single for a long time and won’t settle for the wrong man. BUT, that has been part of MY problem. I’ve become so independent and picky that when a good man comes along, I seem to do everything to sabotage any potential. I seem to only see what’s wrong, not what’s right, and boy that doesn’t work with the man I love now. So, I changed my thinking….just like that, overnight. I decided to see what I appreciate about him, how I admire him, desire him, and tell him, no matter how small anything is. And it’s made all the difference in the world! Now this man that I love is really with me, doing things that I don’t even expect, surprising me with flowers, love and support, and things like that. And now there’s even more of a reason to appreciate him and to tell him!!! Appreciation for a man is a miracle and our relationship couldn’t be better! Had to pass that on.

Reply October 14, 2015, 2:38 pm


You are spot on Sabrina. Great article and good advice. I’ve missed you and have been at the point of unsubscribing from the newsletter because Eric’s letters have become annoying. When I see that his content is filled with links to a video, I go ahead and delete. They are such a waste of time.

Reply October 14, 2015, 9:16 am


I’m with you on that Daisy. Eric is on autopilot. If I see it is from him- I delete.

Reply October 18, 2015, 1:02 pm

Eric Charles

Well that’s a bit hyperbolic… yeah, I re-use some emails from time to time to promote relevant products, but I always have written tons of free content for you guys… I challenge you to find anyone who gives away as much quality content as we do. It’s a balancing act — we need to pay the bills too and running ANM costs a lot to run, so this is how I keep the business going… and before you accuse me of being money driven, I did this kind of work for free for 6 years and operated A New Mode at a loss for 2 years before making a dime… I do this work because I love it, money was never a motivator… but money is a reality and promoting other relevant offers in the space is one way to ensure the site continues. Hope you understand and I’m trying to be diplomatic about this, but it feels really crappy to give as much as we do only to hear complaints about stuff that makes it all possible. I get that you might not have thought about that, but that’s the bigger picture you have to acknowledge…

Reply October 18, 2015, 8:24 pm

Bonnie Devin

There’s always gonna be haters! I’ve literally just written your response (the other one) in hand in my pad. It makes sense what you said and was the right response, whether you’ve used it before or not. Read it each morning to help train your mind how to be positive, how to love yourself and how to be the best person you can be. It does start with yourself. Your mind is your tool and it’s up to you how you use it. Just wanted to say thanks Eric you’ve really given me something to work on!! Keep up the good work.

Reply May 9, 2019, 1:38 am

Eric Charles

I already spoke to this in my comment at the bottom, so I don’t have to repeat it here. But this has been addressed so feel free to see my comments below.

Reply October 18, 2015, 8:16 pm


I agree, but he isn’t the only one who does it. The videos are quickly deleted in my box. I just look for content. Don’t need to waste my time with lengthy commercials.

Reply October 20, 2015, 1:06 pm

daisy A

Hi…. sabrina thank you so much, indeed i had so many things to learn in your article and am glad i learn something from it, you see am not single but my hisband and i didnt go well too, but i accept things right and to move on, I had a crush with this guy,but since he is our director in a private hospital we didnt have a chance to date bcoz here in there culture not allowed but i know he likes me ,but i had mixed emotion on him, we get alone when where together.. we talk only about work but he tell me how great i am and how i work he knows it am good at it..its just i dont know why when we talk he stare at me looking to my eyes but not say a word really i dont know why he is like that.. I just want to know why he is like that… hoping for your advise and thank you so much…

Reply October 14, 2015, 2:06 am


Sabrina, thank you so much! I wish I would have had these type articles 20 years ago, maybe they wouldn’t neccessarily have saved my two failed marriages, but having the insight into a man’s real needs is so valuable! I am learning to love muskeg and be the best version of me!! Your articles are truly the highlight of my day! I’ll be sharing this information with my three triplet teenage daughters for years to come, for this may save them from a little less heartache. Thank you again! Keep the articles coming!!

Reply October 13, 2015, 11:36 pm


I feel like I’m ready to follow you and Eric’s advice and this new relationship I’m walking intibwould definitely last if I hold up my part.

Reply October 13, 2015, 10:12 pm


Thank You Sabrina!!!!!!!

Reply October 13, 2015, 9:51 pm


I feel like women want from men the same things listed in this article. I don’t need to be showerd with compliments or gifts but some encouragement as to my dreams and aspirations would be nice every now and then, rather than having my ideas judged or “corrected”. I’m very open to feedback, but when it is just critical rather than constructive, it hurts or destroys my intimate feelings for the man. Conversely, getting over complimented and never ever being thrown some questions or different perspectives to consider when sharing my idea/thoughts feels inauthentic. I know your article is about what men want, but thought women should also consider how they want to be treated. And yes. Eric sends too many emails with videos which are trying to drive us to buy. I know you are in business (which means you’ve got to make money to sustain), but it gets pretty annoying to the point I want to unsubscribe, but then a great article like yours here Sabrina, keeps me seating connected. Thank you.

Reply October 13, 2015, 9:01 pm

Eric Charles

Well yeah, you said it yourself — you get that we’re a business… and when people say that, most people are acknowledging that we need to do things to make money… but you also have to keep in mind that we have pretty hefty bills to pay each month in order to run a website of this size and give away as much as we do. I gave away content away for years and even operated this website at a loss for the first two years because we were so passionate about what we were doing, we only cared about building an awesome brand. We did that and we continue to give away more great stuff for free than anyone else out there… all of the articles on this website are original content, not the rehashed crap that you find everywhere else on the internet. We give so much away and continue to generate more great content that we give away.

Reply October 18, 2015, 8:31 pm


Hello Sabrina!
i find this post very inspiring, i’m excited to try and give my man this 5 things he craves!

Reply October 13, 2015, 8:52 pm


Such a fantastic article, thanks so much Sabrina as always for your awesome insights! And MANY congratulations on your wedding, so happy for you!!!

Reply October 13, 2015, 7:57 pm

Jennifer R

Love these articles. I look forward to reading them every day. Thank you for all your advice.

Reply October 13, 2015, 11:26 am


Great article, Sabrina. I recently broke things off with a man who didn’t respond to my sincere acts and words of appreciation. Very little interaction from him except when I asked for career advice. I’ve been blessed to know the feeling of when a man is into me. I didn’t feel that with this man. So this list is also a good gut check of whether a man is into you at all. If he doesn’t respond to these things, I don’t see the point of continuing a surface-deep conversation and flirting.

Reply October 13, 2015, 10:29 am


Great point. If a man doesn’t seem receptive to your attempts to show him your appreciation then you are definitely dealing with a man who’s not into you. Been there myself!

Reply October 13, 2015, 3:00 pm


So very true. If he’s not receptive to you appreciation, admiration, or just shines you on when you’re giving those things…forget him. He’s a creep and not worth your time.

Reply October 14, 2015, 2:43 pm


That is so true! At first my relationship was a little bit cold, we were distant to each other. Suddenly he completely changed. He invited me at dates, he offered to pay my bill, he was nice and loving and he said he loves me many times after that. I didn’t know what happened until i read this article. But know I realized I did some things mentioned above without even knowing! Thanks a lot. It really helps. Know I know how to make my relationship to last more. Again, thank you a lot! You are the best. Kisses!

Reply October 13, 2015, 10:11 am


I was in a relationship with a man whom I really cared about. I accepted him for who he was and how I felt around him. He had nothing to offer really but his love. No money, not much of a future and hated his job. He was negative most times as he had a lot of negative things happening and low life family that asked for his help all to often. Here’s the kicker; he was a former pastor, caring and giving yet would drink heavely once in awhile with low life friends when he had a really bad day. He would often tell me that he didn’t deserve me as I am much more educated than he is. He would say negative things about himself and got upset that I was being his cheerleader.
We dated 6 months. I was very caring and giving with my time, which he did not understand as I work a lot. He Had many women who were dramatic and only wanted someone to financially support them. A wife who was mean yet he used to be mean and wild when younger. All this past. Not how I am as a person.
My family and children did not like him as they thought he was a hick/redneck. I’m seeing now that he wants a passive woman who will be submissive all the time. I’m am extremely independent and he often complimented me on my independence.
So my question is this, how in the world does it seem ok to tell a woman you love them after the fest month, then stops tell you, tells you every once in awhile, freaks out when I tell him that I love him, tells me a week ago and then continues to pull away? Tells me that he just doesn’t want to feel marred and doesn’t want t feel as thigh he can’t live without me. Being a little bit confused, I signed on to the dating website which we meet. Yes, he was on one and looking again. He had it off the whole time we were eat good as I did as well. That was it for me. He wouldn’t just end it and kept giving me little windows of opportunity that I would refer to see. I told him that. Saw hm online, was very dissaponted and felt like a six month booty call therefore, told him good-bye and have blocked his number. Everyone tells me he is not worth my time and effort and that I’ve done too much for him to show him that I loved him. I am hurt that I have allowed myself to waste
valuable time with someone who is just not ready to love. Correct?

Reply October 13, 2015, 10:00 am


What you experienced s the same
Thing am facing in my relationship
Mine drinks and treats me as if he dont care
But I still love him and I want t change him
But don’t know how to.

Reply October 13, 2015, 12:00 pm

lil' thing

You will never change him/any person you can only possibly inspire them to change themselves.

Reply October 14, 2015, 7:16 am


This article is so true. I see it in my Dad, brother in laws, ex (we remain close) and boyfriend. We have to get to a point of wholeness ourselves in order to give in this way to the men we are close to. If we are needy then we cannot appreciate someone else. My man just lights up when I do these things. He just glows.

Reply October 13, 2015, 9:53 am


I totally agree with the “5 Things Guys Want”. I met a guy 5 months ago on a dating website. We hit it off really well and have been on one getaway together. When we are together usually once a week it’s great. He has met my family as of this past week.My concern is why I’m not meeting his? He has had a couple of family events with one at his house and I wasn’t invited. I know he has 2 grown step-daughters from his former marriage and they are included and that’s his excuse. I act like it’s understandable on my part. I have to say, I’m totally acting. I don’t understand and I’m not worried about meeting anyone. Any suggestions?

Reply October 13, 2015, 9:49 am


It’s crazy cause I was with my ex for 3 years and I gave him all that and more but he broke up with me he told me he didn’t feel appreciated and I always showed him appreciation for big and small things. So I don’t understand how he felt like that and everyone saw it too. People told me he was making excuses. But reading your article I know I did all that for him so it makes me feel it wasn’t me its him. So thank you

Reply October 13, 2015, 9:15 am


How do you handle a repetitive problem.
I’ve tried praising and giving affection and he is genuine but still repeats the neglect .
How do you solve this?

Reply October 13, 2015, 8:53 am

Kayla :)

Really great article . I definitely took some tips from this article . I’m gonna work on giving my guy more compliments. Your amazing !! Keep it up . Don’t ever stop giving advice or tips. This advice may be the only advice some girls or guys are receiving at all. So I appreciate you ,your advice , and you taking your time to write these articles . ????

Reply October 13, 2015, 9:51 am

Kayla :)


Reply October 13, 2015, 9:54 am


Sabrina I love your emails and articles. It makes me so happy that you just put it out there. Not a link to buy something just an offer of experience and assistance. You hit it out of the park with this one. There is no wonder your husband was shocked! Absolutely on point! Great job!

Reply October 13, 2015, 8:46 am


I like Stephanie’s comment and she us soooo right. I missed Sabrina these past days but I imagined she was on her wedding. I don’t wanna sound mean or despising but Eric’s mails most of the times aren’t helpful at all.
Welcome back Sabrina and thanks for this article. I’ve been practising it already and it works so well.

Reply October 13, 2015, 8:31 am

Eric Charles

I’ve written tons of emails filled with content and tons of articles on this site… all free… and I believe the quality of this site is far above anything else out there.

Reply October 18, 2015, 8:35 pm


I have been reading ANM newsletter and I can say that this is a fluffy comment. Eric has been giving emails full of insights and quality contents for long. Too bad people only remember the recent ‘video-link emails’ from him.

Reply October 22, 2015, 7:41 am


Just wanted to say thank you for all the emails I receive from you and Eric on dating advice. It has helped me a lot. I’m not on any kind of social media, so I thought I would leave a comment. ??

Reply October 13, 2015, 8:06 am

kantariua dinesh

I want love you .
You like me.?

Reply October 13, 2015, 7:45 am

Irene Ruth

I love this, hope it works for me. Thanks alot Sabrina Alexis

Reply October 13, 2015, 6:53 am


Love it Sabrina. Thank you. Great insight. I can’t wait to put all the info to work.

Reply October 13, 2015, 6:44 am


this article just like the the others by Sabrina are amazing. I want to see more like this sent to my emails daily as Sabrina knows her stuff! I think the work you guys do is amazing but I really wish we had more like this and less emails from Eric with links to a video you need to watch that’s trying to get you to buy something. When your a student and busy with course work it’s so comfortable t read a short article and pick out the important parts that will help our relationships grow or get started. How ever watching a video just takes time that myself well I don’t have. Other thing I would add here is taking an interest in a guys hobbies. A guy I dated during the summer told me this was one way to get under his skin and be sure I tested it out on him. After going with him while he took pictures as a hobby and ask him about his Fifa he soon started to fall for me really bad in the last week before I had to leave China. Your articles has helped me respect myself and not look for any relationship but too focus on me and wait for the right one.

Reply October 13, 2015, 5:25 am


I agree with you, Stephanie.
Those long videos are really a pain to watch whereas articles like this seems to be more helpfull. Even I realized it that for a healthy relation, you good to be a healthy “You”. If you start loving yourself than people around you would love you too. And if someone doesn’t, then you don’t need them in your life (Its as simple as that). Respecting yourself is an ultimate cure for your mind, soul and body.
Your articles are very meningful sabrina. Thanks a tonn.

Reply October 13, 2015, 7:06 am

Eric Charles

Listen — I feel you… but promoting other people’s programs is how ANM makes money.

You have to look at the big picture… all this free material costs a LOT of money to pump out – the tech, the server costs, the mailing service costs, the payroll, etc. This costs money!

I would challenge you to find me someone out there who puts out as much quality information as us for free… or is as invested in our audience (see our free member’s forum and our Facebook pages)… or has a newsletter with as much quality as ours has.

I’m not saying I don’t get where you’re coming from… but if you honestly think that it would be possible for me and Sabrina (or any mortal humans) to give away as much for free as we do and invest as much as we do in giving a quality experience… you’re kidding yourself.

I realize you might not have considered it from beyond just seeing an email you don’t like, but there’s a big picture that makes this all possible. All this stuff we give away costs money… needs to come from somewhere and what we promote is relevant to the subject matter — plus all of these programs we promote are by people we know personally.

Sabrina and I have talked about it before and we’d love to find better ways to promote other people’s products and bring in money… so I mean, if you have any ideas I’m open to that.

All that said, I have no problem with what you’re say. I get where you’re coming from, I’m a person in the world just like anyone else… so I don’t blame you. I just hope you can see it from a larger perspective. We tremendously appreciate having you as part of our community. We are grateful.

Reply October 14, 2015, 6:56 pm

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