In today’s world of endless social media and digital communication, sexting is more relevant than ever, and it’s an important and effective way to seduce a man.
But let’s be real, not everyone is so comfortable sending sexy texts. The big fear is coming across as awkward or desperate.
The most important rule to keep in mind when sending sexy texts is to do what feels comfortable and natural to you. This is about getting in touch with your sensuality, and sharing that with your partner (which, in turn, will get him very much in touch with his sensuality, and from there the flames of passion will really ignite!)
Your vibe is everything. If you send him a text from a place of feeling insecure and trying too hard, then he’ll feel it and will not be turned on. If you text him from a place of genuinely feeling turned on by him, then he’ll feel that too and it will create a whole different reaction!
In this article, I’m sharing specific text messages that will definitely turn your man on. There is a big variety to choose from so you can go with what feels the most natural to you, no feeling awkward or uncomfortable. Use these texts verbatim with a copy-paste job, or put your own spin on them. The most important thing to remember is to always be true to who you are!
Now let’s get to it and look at 103 sexy texts to get him in the mood:
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Benefits of Texting
Sexting has a few key benefits:
- You can brainstorm your text (vs. dirty talk in the moment).
- Sexting and texting can create intense sexual tension.
- It can be your “training wheels” for talking dirty (which most men do love as long as it’s genuine).
- Gives you time to construct your text (and not be under pressure in the moment).
- Gives you time to type out what you want to say (or even visually show) but you have no obligation to actually say anything out loud.
MORE: How to Turn a Man On
Just Keep In Mind …
I am going to provide specific texts you can use as a guideline. You can even copy and paste directly from here. Read the text, if it applies to you and you want to send, go for it! If it just feels wrong to you, as in way out of character and far beyond the walls of your comfort zone, don’t do it. If you’re a sexting novice, ease in with something a little more subtle and innocent. If you’re a sexting champion, go for one of the bolder options to up the ante.
For some texts, you can change the details around to match your situation. The point is to use these scripts as a starting point, not a be all end all. These texts are by no means the “only ones” to use.
Categories of Sexts
To make your life easier, I’ve included not just texts but specific types of texts.
If you’re into being direct and forward, you’ll get those texts. If you want to be innocent and teasing, you can go right to that section.
What matters most is to make sure your texts match the reality of your situation. This means: don’t send explicit texts if you haven’t even kissed the man yet. I knew a woman who met a guy and thought they hit it off. The guy was sort of interested but did not expect the crazy text she ended up sending him.
Note: don’t use this text ever: “I secretly stopped taking birth control 2 months ago.”
3 minutes later…
“Just kidding. I was just messing with you. Sorry. What I was thinking was I need you to make me pregnant. It’s so hot.”
So that’s an example of what not to do. Now let’s talk about sexy texts that actually work.
Here are the categories of texts I’m going to include:
- Joking (Half Joking)
- Anticipatory Texts
- Intriguing Texts
- Romantic Sexy Texts
- Explicit (Not Safe for Work)
- Visual (Teasing and Super Sexual
Innocent questions are good for two reasons.
#1: You don’t embarrass yourself or feel awkward—you start slow and don’t have to worry about coming on too strong, etc.
#2: Men are often turned on by innocence—not in a creepy way—more like a “wanting to corrupt the innocence” way.
Some of these texts (like number 4) are perfect if you don’t feel comfortable yet, but want to hint that there’s a whole different sexual side that you haven’t expressed:
- “I’m so shy, but you have no idea what I’m thinking.”
- “This makes me blush. I can’t help it.”
- “I can’t believe how out of control I feel sometimes when I think about you.”
- “I want to tell you things, but I’m not able to be fully exposed yet. When I’m comfortable, you will see a different person.”
- “Hey you – I’m in a really odd mood right now. I just took a bath and I feel restless. How are you?”
- “I just took the most amazing shower ever!”
- “Wait, are you alone right now?”
- “Do you like me with or without makeup? Natural or done up? Just curious.”
- “Favorite kind of underwear on a woman?”
Half Joking Texts
These are good, but only if he gets your sense of humor. Don’t send these if there’s a chance he will misinterpret it. Also, don’t send these unless you know him pretty well:
- “Ummm, I would love if you randomly got turned on in front of everyone at work.”
- “What is your secret fetish? You must have one, come on.”
- “I can’t stop thinking about some very dirty thoughts … can you help me?
- “I know you’ve been thinking about me all day… want to stop thinking and start doing?”
- “What’s your favorite word for your favorite part of my anatomy?”
- “I can’t stop laughing about the movie sex scene I just saw.”
- “Ok so for real what’s your crazy fetish? Vampires? Dominatrix stuff? Jk jk well maybe not jk no really I’m kidding haha. I’m just being silly.”
- “I have such a perverted sense of humor!”
- “Why can’t everyone just have sex and calm down? It just feels so nice. Especially if you’re open and comfortable.”
Teasing a man is going to drive him nuts. This is good as long as you get together later and don’t just tease him and leave him with a sad case of blue balls:
- “I’m so bored and not sureee what to doooooo w/ myself. Any ideas?”
- “Why am I slightly turned on?”
- “I’m having some trouble unhooking my bra. Can you come over and do it for me?”
- “I am in such a weird mood right now…”
- “What’s the hottest thing I can do for you when I see you?”
- “I was watching a movie earlier and forgot how intense the sex scenes were. Seriously. I was kind of taken aback. My goodness.”
- “Wow, all that yoga has made me super flexible!”
- “Umm, I’m not wearing panties. They’re not comfy.”
The purpose of these is to create sexual tension before you have some “special” time together:
- “I can’t wait until I see you later.”
- “I’m so sad that I can’t be in your bed. But in two days …”
- “I can’t wait until later on … I get excited just thinking about it.”
- “I am sitting here unable to focus because I know I’m seeing you later.”
- “So … what should we do after our date tonight?”
- “I can’t stand how much I want it. You know what I am talking about.”
Intrigue is sexy. These texts will get him thinking and will spark some fun, flirty, and sexy banter … and maybe even lead to something more:
- “Craziest fantasy?”
- “Weirdest turn on?”
- “Tell me if this is weird … I don’t want to say it out loud but it’s an awkward embarrassing turn on.”
- “What is your biggest sexual fantasy? Tell me. I don’t care how crazy it is, I want to know.”
- “I had a really naughty dream last night – you were definitely there…”
- “Would you rather have sex in public or in the car?”
- “What’s the hottest sex you’ve ever had? I find it hot hearing this kind of stuff.”
- “Are you fond of a woman being in control sometimes?”
- “I am so odd I have a different side of myself that comes out when I’m super turned on.”
- “Wanna guess what I’m wearing right now?”
- “Just wanted to text you that I am lying naked on the bed thinking about you.”
- “Wanna play Simon Says? You go first.”
- “Are you turned on by me being turned on? Like I’m turned on when you’re so turned on you can’t control yourself.”
Romantic Sexy Texts
These texts are perfect for couples, especially those who want to bring some heat back into the relationship:
- “I love you so much that when you’re turned on it makes me feel extra turned on.”
- “I can’t sleep – all I can think about is what we would be doing if you were here with me …”
- “I wish I was laying there next to you … naked.”
- “When you touch me I feel like I’m on another planet.”
- When you kiss me it feels electric like something is running through my body. It’s so intense.”
- “Making love to you feels different than anything I’ve ever experienced. I’m in another world.”
- “I could feel you touching me forever. It’s the best and most peaceful feeling in the world.”
- “I need you. All of you. And I want to give all of myself … every part … to you. I’ve never felt this way before.”
Some men can’t get enough of a woman who is direct and straightforward, especially sexually. Now, I am not saying you need to be a dominatrix; all you need is clarity. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
If you’re in a relationship, straightforward is good. Or if there is clear sexual interest between the two of you, being straightforward is a good approach. Obviously, don’t send these sorts of texts very early on, and don’t send them if you’re uncomfortable! Send these only if you feel really open and comfortable with each other:
- “I loved how you **insert naughty thing he did** last night. It turned me on so much.”
- “I’m trying on lingerie but need a second opinion. Can you come over and help?”
- “If we were together, what would you want me to do to you?”
- “Ugh you’re so sexy it’s not fair. I can’t get enough of you. Jerk.”
- “Oh my God. I want you so badly.”
- “My body needs to be pressed against yours. It’s not even a choice. My body demands it.”
- “Have you ever done it in a public place? Just wondering. Lol.”
- “Would you consider me hooking up with another woman cheating?”
- “What do you prefer “down there?” Shaved? Trimmed?”
- “What’s the most sensitive part of your body?”
Explicit/not safe for work
These sexy texts get straight to the point. They’re raw, bold, and super direct. He definitely won’t question how badly you want him if you send any of these, that’s for sure:
- “I need you. Here. Now.”
- “I love it when you ___ **insert specific sexual thing he did that turned you on**.”
- “Every inch of your body is perfect. I could stare at you all day.”
- “Why can’t I stop thinking about you and me … and the back of a car … ?
- If he asks what you’re doing right now say, “umm, I am doing… myself…”
- “I can’t believe how good you made me feel last night. ___ describe an explicit detail that made you really turned on.
- “You don’t know how hot it is seeing you turned on.”
- “I want you to use me as your own personal plaything. I was made for your pleasure”
- “You know what turns me on? Being fully naked and in front of you and you looking at me and my …”
- “I love letting you see every last part of me.”
- “I’m so turned on by enjoying myself in front of you. I dunno it’s just so hot to me.”
- “I love it when you grab my hair and push me up against a couch or something. And just take total and complete control.”
- “I think there is something insanely sexy about a woman being in control. Agree?
MORE: 30 Sexy Questions to Ask
- “Try to forget how turned on I was last night. It’s embarrassing.”
- “I’ll never forget how I felt when you first kissed me.”
- “I’m slightly … lol. I can’t say but it’s kinda naughty.’”
- “Are you fond of threesomes with two women? “
- “How often do you ‘do yourself?’”
- “Is it weird to be objectified as a man?”
- “Do you think strippers are hot or are they not?”
- “I wish I knew how to be more open with how I feel…”
- “Damn my brain is all over the place today. I don’t know what’s gotten into me!”
- “Question. Do you have any fantasies?”
- “Tell me a secret. An intense one.”
- “How often do you watch “dirty” things?”
- “I can’t stop sucking on lollypops today for some reason…”
MORE: 100 Sexting Examples
Sending a picture will appeal to his basic instinct, men are visual creatures after all. But don’t do this unless you trust him completely. And I am not saying you have to do this—but the truth is it works. Don’t do this if you aren’t comfortable—obviously—and if you don’t trust the person.
- Picture of you in clothes without underwear on.
- Picture of you with hair covering boobs.
- Picture biting your lip smiling cheekily.
- Make yourself look like his ultimate fantasy and take a picture (i.e. if he likes pigtails or braids, take some pictures in braids).
- Naked picture (straightforward).
- Picture of yourself in an outfit that makes you feel attractive.
- Picture with your tongue out.
- Picture of you in a low cut shirt that shows your cleavage.
- Picture of you grabbing your boobs but with clothes on & making a naughty face.
- Picture of you biting your lip.
- Picture of you spreading legs.
- Picture of you in the bath with your boobs visible.
- Picture of you in no clothes and your legs crossed so that he knows you don’t have panties on but can’t see anything else.
- Picture of you in sexy lingerie.
- Picture of you making a sexual face (such as your mouth wide open and eyes closed).
Before You Send Anything …
I can’t leave you with just specific scripts without offering key insight into what mindset makes texts sexy. This will make all the difference when it comes to whether he is turned on or not.
One key to sending a text that turns him on is to be comfortable with what you send. Don’t send a text you think should work because someone said it should. Being comfortable and relaxed is sexy. Being confident is sexy.
Men can be turned off by your vibe if you text with an agenda; in other words, using scripts that sound sexy but make you feel uneasy actually sending won’t turn him on the same way something genuine would.
Remember, not everyone is attracted to the same energy. If you change yourself and try to seem like a different person in order to please a man you might succeed partially in the short term, but this isn’t sustainable in the long term. Your true self will always emerge in the end and men can pick up on more than you think.
If you come from a place of wanting him to feel a certain way about you, and now from a place of authentically showing how you feel, then you’re starting off from a flimsy foundation and it won’t take long for the chemistry and connection to fizzle out.
What is an example of a text that has an agenda?
Trick question… the text message does not have the agenda. The mentality behind the text message does.
No Agenda: You feel turned on remembering how he kissed you and say it in a text. You say exactly what you feel. And don’t mind whether he replies or not; you don’t freak out. All you are doing is expressing something you feel.
Agenda: You think he likes forward girls so you make sure to send a text that sounds dominant and like you’re a woman in charge when in reality you just want to be submissive and shy. You try to seem different, though, because you read or heard that men are turned on by a certain kind of attitude and so you send a super direct text despite feeling completely uncomfortable.
What creates an agenda is how you feel about whether he replies or not. Would your world be crushed and would you feel stupid if he didn’t reply? This means you’re going to end up having some kind of an agenda or expected outcome (expected outcome = him replying in a certain way).
On the flip side, when you are OK regardless of whether he replies or not, then you are being authentic and don’t have an agenda.
To sum it up… an agenda means you have a specific outcome in mind that you need to have happen in order to feel OK. If you don’t get this outcome, you feel disappointed, depressed, and possibly even angry.
Having expectations creates an opportunity for you to be disappointed.
Another pitfall with having expectations is you focus more on the outcome—the end result—rather than the quality of the experience. Focusing on the end result means you pay attention to how he responds to each tiny move you make—if his response indicates you’re getting closer to the outcome you want, you’re happy.
If he doesn’t respond, or his response indicates that he’s not interested? You’re upset, analyze what went wrong, and try to “fix” the outcome by “doing things” in a specific way designed to obtain something.
Drop the Expectations
Drop the question and mantra of: “how will what I am sending and saying directly impact whether he marries me/dates me/loves me in the future?”
Enjoy the quality of the time you spend with him. Enjoy the fun of texting (sexting) and you will find that this mentality applies to almost every aspect of dating, not just sexting.
These sexy texts are sure to capture his attention and rouse his interest, but that’s not always enough. There is more you need to know, specifically, the two key moments in any relationship that will decide if you last forever, or if you end up heartbroken and alone. At some point, a man will ask himself: Do I want to commit to this woman? He may begin to have doubts and feel unsure. Do you know what makes a man see a woman as girlfriend material? Do you know what inspires a man to commit? If not, you need to read this next The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
The next issue arises when he starts to pull away. It looks like he’s losing interest in you. He’s not as responsive, he’s not as attentive, and things just feel off. Do you now what to do to get things back on track? If not, read this next: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...