How to Know if a Guy Doesn’t Like You
“Don’t spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you.” – Greg Behrendt
Dwelling on all the potential signs that a guy isn’t into you may seem like a bit of a downer. It’s definitely not the filter with which you want to view the person you’re crushing on. We all want to get swept up in the exciting feelings that accompany falling for someone. In that intoxicating rush of emotions, it can be supremely challenging to take a step back.
As hard as it may be, it’s important that you do try to look at the situation objectively. In the long run, this is the kinder thing to do to yourself. It will save you time, energy, and possible heartbreak. Looking before you leap may not sound romantic, but it’s exactly the step that will steer you towards the right romance.
Before you fall head over heels for that mysterious fella you’ve had your eye on, take a beat and study the situation. Despite the endless, sometimes conflicting, streams of advice regarding how to understand them, guys are not as hard to read as you might expect.
Here’s our list of 31 signs that he’s not interested in you. Apply them to you and your crush and see if they ring any bells.
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
Signs He Isn’t Interested
1. He isn’t interested in getting to know you.
It’s not an accident that this is sign number one. If a guy shows zero desire to get to know you and your quirks, it’s a dead giveaway that he’s not interested. When a guy falls for a girl, every little detail about her seems worth learning.
2. He keeps his (literal) distance.
Putting physical space between the two of you is a pretty strong sign of disinterest. An enthusiastic guy will go to great lengths to close the gap between you, not widen it.
3. He avoids physical contact.
Instead of leaning into contact, he’ll pull back. Rather than mirroring your movements, he’ll make it clear that he’s doing his own thing.
4. His body language is guarded.
Avoiding eye contact, stiff shoulders, and crossed arms are all indicative of a reserved attitude. He’ll also likely look around the room and at other people more than he looks at you. Being shifty or uncomfortable might mean he’s keen to get out of the situation.
5. He doesn’t laugh at your jokes.
When you like someone, you probably laugh at even the jokes that don’t quite land. Laughing expresses fondness, so if he doesn’t show an appreciation for your jokes, he’s sending a message.
6. He doesn’t compliment you.
When a guy likes a girl, he’s eager to comment on her beauty. He wants her to know he’s observed her strengths and admires them. Withholding compliments shows a lack of desire on his part.
7. He never notices when you change your appearance.
In the same vein, a guy who’s into you will always notice when you make changes to your appearance. Whether it be highlighting your hair or adding a new jewelry staple to your wardrobe, he’ll pick up on the alteration.
8. He flirts with other girls.
You may think that flirting with other girls is a tactic to make you jealous. Even if that were the case, you’d be better off investing your time in someone who doesn’t play those mind games.
9. He asks you for dating advice.
This is also not a crafty way to turn you into a green-eyed monster. If he’s asking for relationship or dating advice, he likely just wants a female opinion on something. It means his romantic energy is pointed in a different direction. Don’t invent some twisted narrative about how he’s just trying to get a rise out of you. Usually, the simplest explanation is the correct one.
10. He doesn’t initiate conversation.
If you find that you’re always the one starting up the conversation, that’s a sign that he’s not as interested in you as you are in him. If he were, he would be coming up with any and all ideas for striking up a conversation with you. Men aren’t that dense, they will always find a way to get attention from a girl they like.
11. No flirty banter.
We all know what it feels like to flirtatiously chat with someone when there’s a mutual attraction. There’s a giddiness and playfulness that will be missing if he keeps the tone serious and professional. Maybe he needs to ask you a question about something you would know. A guy who likes you will use this as an opportunity to flirt and talk about other things. A guy who doesn’t like you will get the answer, say thanks, and move on.
12. He’s not impressed by you.
When a guy is into you, he’s your number one fan. If you do something worth congratulating and he barely musters up a “good job,” that’s a bad sign. A guy who likes you will pay attention to your accomplishments and praise you vigorously for them. A guy who isn’t interested, just won’t show any interest!
13. He’s not jealous when you’re with other guys.
He sees you talking to another a guy and has zero reaction, just total indifference. This isn’t an act and he isn’t a master at hiding his emotions. He’s showing you exactly how he feels and he feels … indifferent toward you. Take a lack of emotion in this area at face value.
14. He avoids being seen with you at events.
As unpleasant as it is, pay attention to it if a guy avoids being next to you at social events. It might be that he wants other women to know he’s available. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to give you the wrong idea. Either way, it’s a strong sign he doesn’t like you. When a guy likes you, he’s like a magnet and can’t help but be pulled toward you.
15. He’s never at the same place as you.
Similarly, notice if he never seems to end up in the same places as you. A guy in pursuit of a woman will find every opportunity to turn up where she is, whether that be at a party or her favorite gym. Remember what I said above about the magnet? When a guy likes you, he’s just pulled toward you.
16. He never calls or texts you.
Texting offers an easy, casual way to maintain contact with someone you’re interested in. If a guy doesn’t seem to be taking advantage of this modern tool, he’s probably focusing on someone else.
17. He talks to you about unimportant things.
Does your conversation with him resemble the kind you’d have with a brother? If the topics remain a little dull, that’s a sign he’s not trying to woo you with his wit or passion.
18. He doesn’t prioritize you.
When a guy likes you, he won’t cancel on you last minute unless there’s a really valid reason. If he bails on you for reasons like something better came up, he’s not in the mood to go out, he fell asleep, he forgot you had plans, and so forth, he’s just not that excited about you. When a guy likes you, it doesn’t matter how tired he is or what plans came up, nothing will compare to hanging out with you!
19. He cuts your time together short.
Bailing on a hang-out early might mean that something he’s more excited about came up. Being willing to cut your time short means he isn’t placing the proper value on it. When a guy likes you, he’ll never want to let you go. He won’t want the conversation or the date to end. When a guy is in a rush to say goodbye, he just doesn’t like you.
20. He’s indifferent when you’re not around.
If you say you’re going to leave a social setting, observe his reaction. Does he immediately come to attention and ask where you’re going, or maybe even try to persuade you to stay? Or does he barely notice? This reaction will be very telling.
21. He doesn’t care who else you’re hanging out with.
A guy crushing on you will likely be barely able to conceal his curiosity about your life. He might do a poor job of veiling his jealousy if you say you’re going to spend time with other guys. He’ll show an active attentiveness to who else in your life. Doing the opposite of this means he doesn’t really care where else you spend your time because he isn’t interested in you.
22. He finds his phone more interesting than you.
When you do spend time around each other, if he opts to scroll this phone instead of engaging in conversation with you, move on. A good romantic candidate will make you feel worth listening to and won’t feel compelled to check what a bunch of strangers on Twitter are ranting about at this moment.
23. He’s not concerned with your safety.
A guy who’s invested in you will do things like offer to walk you to your car at the end of the night. He’ll take little efforts to make sure that you are safe and accounted for. If he doesn’t seem concerned about it, he’s not into you (or he’s kind of a tool).
24. He doesn’t try to console you when you’re upset.
A guy who likes you will jump at the chance to make you feel better when you’re down. If he seems to shrug off your sadness – or doesn’t even notice it – take it as a sign he’s not interested in you.
25. He never surprises you with a sweet gesture.
Whether it be offering to help you move or simply sending you a good luck text before an important meeting, a motivated man will always find ways to show you he cares. If these gestures are missing, so is his interest.
26. He’s guarded around you.
Instead of opening up and being vulnerable, an indifferent guy will keep his secrets to himself. Avoiding telling you all about himself is a way to maintain a distance between the two of you.
People, especially men, are selective in who they open up to. If he shuts you out, it’s because he doesn’t want you on the inside.
27. He doesn’t try to impress you.
Does he wear sweatpants or a shirt with an old stain on it when you’re around? Or does he look his best and maybe find a way to mention his cool accomplishments? Observing how hard he tries to impress you will help you figure out which way his heart lies.
28. He doesn’t jump to help you.
While an interested guy will look for opportunities to assist you, an uncaring one will overlook them. He may even treat helping you like an inconvenience.
29. He makes excuses instead of attending things you invite him to.
Whether it be a birthday party or a movie, if he finds reasons he can’t join you on an outing, take that hint. A guy who’s crushing on you will not only not make excuses, he will duck out of previous commitments at the chance of spending time with you.
30. He’s fine going long stretches with no contact.
When a guy is into you, he’s impatient to make moves. He won’t be able to resist reaching out, whether it be to send you a funny meme or just to say hello. If you go long periods without talking, it means he’s not feeling it.
31. He doesn’t try to figure out your relationship status.
When a guy likes you, the first thing he’ll want to know is if you’re single. If he doens’t pry into your personal life whatsoever, it’s because he doesn’t care.
32. You can just tell.
Guys will always make their feelings about a girl known. Even the shy ones will find a way to show their intentions. If it seems like you’re grasping at straws or struggling to find evidence he likes you, you probably know the answer.
Don’t be disheartened if it seems like your potential new crush is not feeling the same way. The sooner you find this out, the better. Take a moment to be grateful that you figured it out before you became too invested. Don’t let yourself get strung along by a guy who has one foot in and one foot out. Your time and your heart are worth more than that.
I hope this article gave you clarity on how he feels. I know it’s hard if a guy you like doesn’t feel the same way, but just trust that all it means is that he’s not the right guy for you. Now there are two more aspects of relationships you need to know if you want to have love that lasts. The first is that at some point, your guy may start to pull away. You notice he seems less engaged, he’s a little cold toward you, he’s withdrawn, and it seems like he’s losing interest. Do you know how to handle it so you bring him back instead of pushing him further away? If not, read this next:
If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
Next, there will come a point when a guy asks himself: Is this the woman I want to commit myself to? His answer will determine everything. Do you know what makes a man see a woman as girlfriend/wife material? Do you know what inspires a man to commit? If not, you need to read this too: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
Signs Your Crush Doesn’t Like You:
- He isn’t interested in getting to know you.
- He keeps his (literal) distance.
- He avoids physical contact.
- His body language is guarded.
- He doesn’t laugh at your jokes.
- He doesn’t offer you compliments.
- He never notices when you change your appearance.
- He flirts with other girls.
- He asks you for dating advice.
- He doesn’t initiate conversation.
- He keeps the conversation professional.
- He doesn’t make a fuss about your accomplishments.
- He’s not jealous when you’re with other guys.
- He avoids being seen with you at events.
- He’s never at the same place as you.
- He never calls or texts you.
- He talks to you about unimportant things.
- He doesn’t prioritize you.
- He cuts your time together short.
- He’s indifferent when you’re not around.
- He doesn’t care who else you’re hanging out with.
- He’s more enticed by his phone than by you.
- He’s not concerned with your safety.
- He doesn’t try to console you when you’re upset.
- He never surprises you with a sweet gesture.
- He’s guarded around you.
- He doesn’t try to impress you.
- He doesn’t jump to help you.
- He makes excuses instead of attending things you invite him to.
- He’s fine going long stretches without contact.
- He doesn’t try to figure out your relationship status.
- You can just tell.