Do ghosters come back?


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This topic contains 127 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  anon 4 days, 8 hours ago.

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  • #714831 Reply

    KK

    Do you guys have experiences with ghosters coming back? I was wondering if it’s possible that the guy that ghosted me will come back around with an explanation or apology.

    #714834 Reply

    Sandybean

    I doubt it – the whole point of ghosting is to avoid providing explanations and apologies.

    It’s also an incredibly rude and hurtful thing to do so you would gain nothing from actually talking to that guy again.

    I’m sorry this happened to you! Try to forget this person as soon as possible – he is not worth worrying about.

    #714838 Reply

    Sandybean

    Btw, sometimes they do come back. Mostly because they are bored. It’s never out of concern because if they cared they wouldn’t have acted so badly in the first place. So really, you don’t want them to come back because all they will do is disappear again and create more emotional stress for you.

    #714840 Reply

    Dandy

    Highly unlikely, I was a ghoster and only went back to one, I apologized and we ended up being in a relationship for some time. For the rest of the people who called me out on it I simply forced myself to tell them I wasn’t interested. Otherwise till this day I have no regrets and have no desire to be with any of the people I ghosted. Although I realize it’s rude so I don’t do it anymore.

    #714841 Reply

    Raven

    When they do come back around, their excuses are lame- just like them…

    #714842 Reply

    henriette

    I have had one or two ghost me (one after a serious relationship) and both came back begging and pleading for another chance. I told both to go fly a kite. A man that has it in him to do it once, posesses a certain type of coldness, a capabillity for cruelty and a complete lack of empathy. I don’t want such a man in my life

    #714857 Reply

    Emma

    henriette is right on the money. When a person feels ok to do such a thing it speaks volumes about their character. Why do people don’t understand that?

    You ask yourself if he’d come back. But ask yourself why he would do that. 90% of the time it is because things did not work out with someone else, they were dumped by someone else, and then they go back to a “nice” girl (or several) who took crap from them, to see if they can get validation and ego boost. They can have several “exes” they ghosted, so rotating them while going through a difficult time would provide them a type of therapy support for free.

    Ghosters come back a lot! I would go as far as to same that many of them ghost specifically so that to have an “excuse” (in their mind it is an excuse) to come back as if nothing happened. If they end things with you, they would feel they have to come back and plea. But if they ghost, they just show up as if nothing happened and try to use you for their emotional needs. When a person’s mind works this way, it is better to stay away from them, because WITHOUT EXCEPTION this type of a person would be bad news in other ways down the road.

    Stop being naive! Stop waiting for them to come back, this is foolish. You think they’d come back because they felt sorry, because they had feelings for you, but it is a delusion. A smart women would be UPSET if a ghoster comes back, because it would mean that more trouble, more emotional damage is on the way.

    I am not talking about cases when you met once for a cup of coffee and oyu never heard from the guy before. Even those this is still very rude and impolite, these days it is almost the norm.

    Ghosting is when you’ve formed some bond, when you talked, exchanged personal information, met several times. When a person ghosts after such things, you should tell yourself, it really feels awful but it is good I found out NOW, so that I can cut this person out of my life for good, I will not waste my time and emotions on them.

    #714858 Reply

    KK

    I guess I just refuse that someone is capable of being this emotionally unavailable especially spending months being so intimate

    #714860 Reply

    KK

    Even though the comeback may not be sincere. The possibility that they may apologize someday gives me comfort and closure that this can happen I don’t think I’d want them back but knowing helps at least for me

    #714862 Reply

    anon

    In my experience, most of the men who ghosted me came back always with a bad excuse and an apology.

    It’s never OK to ghost a nice person. I recognize that there are bad situations where you need to get out. But if you’ve gone out with someone a couple of times and are well into the process of getting to know them, don’t just go poof.

    #714869 Reply

    Marie

    KK, did you do anything that you think would cause him to up and ghost you? Were you nasty and mean? do you have bad breath, don’t shower and smelly? did you steel from him and lied all the time? Were you bad kisser and horrible in Bed?

    Yeah the point I am trying to make is if none of the above apply to your situation you should not be wanting this A hole back in your life.

    Stop going on about closure, have some pride and dignity and find your own closure by blocking this loser on every thing possible.

    You won’t listen this advice anyway because it seems you would gladly take him back however someone like this will do the same thing again. There are much better men out there for you to be with.

    #714871 Reply

    anon

    Marie-
    Poor hygiene, bad in bed, bad kisser aren’t excuses to ghost someone. They still deserve the dignity of closure. Yeah, you might be on the regret bus over dating/sleeping with someone who is inept in bed, but that hardly makes them a bad or toxic person.

    #714888 Reply

    KK

    The reality is that they left without acknowledging me. It’s like I never existed. I don’t know why I can’t get over it. I feel so hurt. I know I should hate him.

    #714925 Reply

    Emma

    @KK, it is one of the worst experiences, that’s why yo are hurting so much.

    You can’t hate him but you can be smart about yourself, can you not? Nothing excuses this type of treatment of another person. This guy is bad news, it is really for the best that he ghosted, you need to take it out of your personal ego and use normal judgement.

    #714926 Reply

    Ok

    Kk
    You have a lot to learn in this world if you refuse to beleive people can be unattached. There are definitely people like this who will use and abuse and toss you away. Not many, but they are out there and if you keep walking around naive about such things you will get hurt many times. If someone disappears on you, just let it go,

    #714954 Reply

    KK

    Dang you guys are tough! I wish I was as strong and willing as you all. I thought this happens early on like from 1 or 2 dates didn’t think it would happen months later I would think he’d let me go with an explanation but now I’m learning that’s not the case

    #714955 Reply

    KK

    Had wake up call reading all the responses thank you

    #714970 Reply

    Hannah

    It’s easy to be tough when you’re not the person involved. It’s like when you can give good advice to friends because you’re seeing the situation objectively. It’s so much harder when your emotions are involved.

    If he could treat you like that, he’s not a man you want in your life. It’s as simple as that.

    #714996 Reply

    alia

    They do come back around, but they are the same person and they will either ghost again or do something cowardly. Avoid at all costs getting involved with a person like that a second time.

    #715027 Reply

    KK

    Lame if this is what dating has come to. Leaving doors open just to conveniently walk back in. I was hoping for positive outcome from second chances

    #715038 Reply

    Paige

    In my experience, they do come back, but never out of sincerity. Just the other day, I received a text from a guy that went ghost about 3-4 months ago. We were supposed to meet up, but he flaked on me and never apologized. Then he pops out of nowhere, texting AND calling me. I blocked his number right away. No second chances.

    Stop giving these people your time. You deserve someone that stays.

    #715890 Reply

    Kos

    It really depends on how long you were together. If you were together for only a month or so, most of the time they don’t come back. There are always exceptions to the rule though. If you are together a few months which is what it sounds like, then there is a possibility that he will be back but you do want  someone who thinks it’s okay to do that? I guess we need more information. Sometimes guys can get a little freaked out around the three or four month mark. And if they start to pull away and you chase them, that causes them to pull away even more. If that is the case, then you want to give him his space completely.

    #715894 Reply

    Bets

    Choose happiness and soldier on. Men like that are not worth your time. Life is short and we waste time feeling bad (which is a choice). Choose to be happy!!

    #715905 Reply

    Really

    Ghosting is the worst, I’m sorry this happened to you. But, for what it’s worth, you usually don’t truly know someone until about 6-12 months into a relationship — sometimes more! Up until this point, you thought you knew this guy and that he was a good one, and now you’ve learned something new about him that is NOT attractive. Thank your lucky stars that it happened sooner rather than later. I know someone who got ghosted by her FIANCE!! Found out months later that he’d moved in with another woman. Blegh.

    #715917 Reply

    L

    How can you tell if a ghost comes back if they are invisible? Is that like seeing dead people?

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