This topic contains 125 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Ianthe 9 months, 3 weeks ago.
July 27, 2018 at 2:01 am #714831
Do you guys have experiences with ghosters coming back? I was wondering if it’s possible that the guy that ghosted me will come back around with an explanation or apology.July 27, 2018 at 2:34 am #714834
I doubt it – the whole point of ghosting is to avoid providing explanations and apologies.
It’s also an incredibly rude and hurtful thing to do so you would gain nothing from actually talking to that guy again.
I’m sorry this happened to you! Try to forget this person as soon as possible – he is not worth worrying about.July 27, 2018 at 2:42 am #714838
Btw, sometimes they do come back. Mostly because they are bored. It’s never out of concern because if they cared they wouldn’t have acted so badly in the first place. So really, you don’t want them to come back because all they will do is disappear again and create more emotional stress for you.July 27, 2018 at 3:06 am #714840
Highly unlikely, I was a ghoster and only went back to one, I apologized and we ended up being in a relationship for some time. For the rest of the people who called me out on it I simply forced myself to tell them I wasn’t interested. Otherwise till this day I have no regrets and have no desire to be with any of the people I ghosted. Although I realize it’s rude so I don’t do it anymore.July 27, 2018 at 3:07 am #714841
When they do come back around, their excuses are lame- just like them…July 27, 2018 at 4:05 am #714842
I have had one or two ghost me (one after a serious relationship) and both came back begging and pleading for another chance. I told both to go fly a kite. A man that has it in him to do it once, posesses a certain type of coldness, a capabillity for cruelty and a complete lack of empathy. I don’t want such a man in my lifeJuly 27, 2018 at 8:36 am #714857
henriette is right on the money. When a person feels ok to do such a thing it speaks volumes about their character. Why do people don’t understand that?
You ask yourself if he’d come back. But ask yourself why he would do that. 90% of the time it is because things did not work out with someone else, they were dumped by someone else, and then they go back to a “nice” girl (or several) who took crap from them, to see if they can get validation and ego boost. They can have several “exes” they ghosted, so rotating them while going through a difficult time would provide them a type of therapy support for free.
Ghosters come back a lot! I would go as far as to same that many of them ghost specifically so that to have an “excuse” (in their mind it is an excuse) to come back as if nothing happened. If they end things with you, they would feel they have to come back and plea. But if they ghost, they just show up as if nothing happened and try to use you for their emotional needs. When a person’s mind works this way, it is better to stay away from them, because WITHOUT EXCEPTION this type of a person would be bad news in other ways down the road.
Stop being naive! Stop waiting for them to come back, this is foolish. You think they’d come back because they felt sorry, because they had feelings for you, but it is a delusion. A smart women would be UPSET if a ghoster comes back, because it would mean that more trouble, more emotional damage is on the way.
I am not talking about cases when you met once for a cup of coffee and oyu never heard from the guy before. Even those this is still very rude and impolite, these days it is almost the norm.
Ghosting is when you’ve formed some bond, when you talked, exchanged personal information, met several times. When a person ghosts after such things, you should tell yourself, it really feels awful but it is good I found out NOW, so that I can cut this person out of my life for good, I will not waste my time and emotions on them.July 27, 2018 at 8:39 am #714858
I guess I just refuse that someone is capable of being this emotionally unavailable especially spending months being so intimateJuly 27, 2018 at 8:45 am #714860
Even though the comeback may not be sincere. The possibility that they may apologize someday gives me comfort and closure that this can happen I don’t think I’d want them back but knowing helps at least for meJuly 27, 2018 at 8:47 am #714862
In my experience, most of the men who ghosted me came back always with a bad excuse and an apology.
It’s never OK to ghost a nice person. I recognize that there are bad situations where you need to get out. But if you’ve gone out with someone a couple of times and are well into the process of getting to know them, don’t just go poof.July 27, 2018 at 9:43 am #714869
KK, did you do anything that you think would cause him to up and ghost you? Were you nasty and mean? do you have bad breath, don’t shower and smelly? did you steel from him and lied all the time? Were you bad kisser and horrible in Bed?
Yeah the point I am trying to make is if none of the above apply to your situation you should not be wanting this A hole back in your life.
Stop going on about closure, have some pride and dignity and find your own closure by blocking this loser on every thing possible.
You won’t listen this advice anyway because it seems you would gladly take him back however someone like this will do the same thing again. There are much better men out there for you to be with.July 27, 2018 at 9:55 am #714871
Poor hygiene, bad in bed, bad kisser aren’t excuses to ghost someone. They still deserve the dignity of closure. Yeah, you might be on the regret bus over dating/sleeping with someone who is inept in bed, but that hardly makes them a bad or toxic person.July 27, 2018 at 11:25 am #714888
The reality is that they left without acknowledging me. It’s like I never existed. I don’t know why I can’t get over it. I feel so hurt. I know I should hate him.July 27, 2018 at 4:21 pm #714925
@KK, it is one of the worst experiences, that’s why yo are hurting so much.
You can’t hate him but you can be smart about yourself, can you not? Nothing excuses this type of treatment of another person. This guy is bad news, it is really for the best that he ghosted, you need to take it out of your personal ego and use normal judgement.July 27, 2018 at 8:20 pm #714954
Dang you guys are tough! I wish I was as strong and willing as you all. I thought this happens early on like from 1 or 2 dates didn’t think it would happen months later I would think he’d let me go with an explanation but now I’m learning that’s not the caseJuly 27, 2018 at 8:21 pm #714955
Had wake up call reading all the responses thank youJuly 28, 2018 at 12:48 am #714970
It’s easy to be tough when you’re not the person involved. It’s like when you can give good advice to friends because you’re seeing the situation objectively. It’s so much harder when your emotions are involved.
If he could treat you like that, he’s not a man you want in your life. It’s as simple as that.July 28, 2018 at 9:31 am #714996
They do come back around, but they are the same person and they will either ghost again or do something cowardly. Avoid at all costs getting involved with a person like that a second time.July 28, 2018 at 11:04 am #715027
Lame if this is what dating has come to. Leaving doors open just to conveniently walk back in. I was hoping for positive outcome from second chancesJuly 28, 2018 at 12:37 pm #715038
In my experience, they do come back, but never out of sincerity. Just the other day, I received a text from a guy that went ghost about 3-4 months ago. We were supposed to meet up, but he flaked on me and never apologized. Then he pops out of nowhere, texting AND calling me. I blocked his number right away. No second chances.
Stop giving these people your time. You deserve someone that stays.August 3, 2018 at 11:03 am #715890
It really depends on how long you were together. If you were together for only a month or so, most of the time they don’t come back. There are always exceptions to the rule though. If you are together a few months which is what it sounds like, then there is a possibility that he will be back but you do want someone who thinks it’s okay to do that? I guess we need more information. Sometimes guys can get a little freaked out around the three or four month mark. And if they start to pull away and you chase them, that causes them to pull away even more. If that is the case, then you want to give him his space completely.August 3, 2018 at 11:20 am #715894
Choose happiness and soldier on. Men like that are not worth your time. Life is short and we waste time feeling bad (which is a choice). Choose to be happy!!August 3, 2018 at 1:02 pm #715905
Ghosting is the worst, I’m sorry this happened to you. But, for what it’s worth, you usually don’t truly know someone until about 6-12 months into a relationship — sometimes more! Up until this point, you thought you knew this guy and that he was a good one, and now you’ve learned something new about him that is NOT attractive. Thank your lucky stars that it happened sooner rather than later. I know someone who got ghosted by her FIANCE!! Found out months later that he’d moved in with another woman. Blegh.August 3, 2018 at 3:58 pm #715933
Yea they come back…but that is when you should send them back to the road hole from which they emerged haha
If it didn’t work once, it is highly unlikely it works a 2nd time…their flighty status is Intel you luckily have for future reference ;)August 3, 2018 at 10:04 pm #715957
And please stop thinking in terms of some “emotional unavailable” crap. Those terms are flashy modern cover ups over immoral rude and insulting behaviour. You say “emotionally unavailable” and every a-hole can look like a prof. Screw that BS.
Think in terms of normal human values. They did not go away, putting sociopathic terms over them do not change that. It is a deception in a way, to fool people. To prevent them from using normal judgment.
He is not emotionally unavailable, he is not brain dead. He is a-hole with no consideration for you as a person.