10 Giveaway Signs He Doesn’t Want to Be With You Anymore And Doesn’t Love You post image

10 Giveaway Signs He Doesn’t Want to Be With You Anymore And Doesn’t Love You

I know it can be heartbreaking when you feel like the guy you’re with no longer loves you and doesn’t want to be with you anymore.

He hasn’t said this to you outright, but you know in your heart something’s off.

You might have even asked yourself, why doesn’t he just break up with me instead of lingering and dragging things out?

The truth is break-ups are hard, even if you are the one who wants to leave the relationship. Inevitably, feelings get hurt and he may genuinely not want to hurt you.

MORE: 11 Definite Signs He Doesn’t Like You 

Knowing for sure where the relationship stands will give you what you need to take the next best step.

Oftentimes when we want a particular outcome in our relationships, it’s easy to overlook the glaring red flags. Instead, we hold onto signs that indicate that the relationship is the way we want it to be, no matter how minor those signs are. I’ve fallen into this trap too often in my relationships until I was finally able to see that wanting a fantasy led to all the heartache I’d been facing.

Seeing things clearly, for what they are, prevents us from wasting time chasing fantasies and gives us the clarity to see the paths that will lead us to the love we want.

Important Point Before We Begin…

It’s important to note that a lot of the signs that he doesn’t want to be with you have to do with him putting in less effort. Maybe he’s no longer opening up to you and has gotten really cold lately. Or, maybe he doesn’t want to go on dates like he did before. Whatever the specifics are, the point is he’s not putting in as much time and energy as he did at the beginning of the relationship.

And while that is a good indicator that he doesn’t want to be with you, it’s not true all the time. There could be other reasons your boyfriend is not stepping up as much as he used to.

Maybe he’s just gotten complacent in the relationship, or lazy. It’s also possible he’s just taking you for granted and doesn’t feel like he needs to show up in the relationship as much to keep you happy because you keep showing up for him despite his lack of effort.

Sometimes all it takes for a guy like this to step up is to face the possibility of losing you. Sometimes guys just need space in a relationship and this isn’t a big deal.

If that’s the case, just back off for a while and focus on yourself and see what happens. If he’s interested, he will come back. But, if he genuinely no longer wants a relationship with you, he might take this opportunity to leave the relationship for good.

If you want to know if he just needs space or wants to be out of the relationship for good, read these 10 definite signs he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.

The Top 10 Signs He Doesn’t Want To Be With You Anymore:

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you...

  1. He’s annoyed by you

The laugh that he thought was the cutest thing about you, now irritates him. Simple questions get short or harsh responses. The way you used to cuddle next to him while watching a movie now makes him too hot or too itchy or uncomfortable. And, it seems like any little thing you do annoys him. That’s a good sign that the relationship doesn’t feel good to him anymore and he wants to end things.

A healthy relationship is gauged by how good you feel with your partner right now. And, while it’s very tempting to look at how great the relationship felt in the past and put major effort into regaining what you both had, only how you both feel now is relevant.

So, if in the past he was fun and easy-going, but now he is always frustrated with you, take it a sign that the relationship is not working.

Granted, this may be a phase. Your man might be going through a hard time right now. Maybe it’s a very stressful time for him at work. Maybe he’s feeling uninspired or like he’s not achieving his life’s mission. These things might have him be a little more short-tempered than usual.

But if you can’t point to anything that could be affecting your man, he doesn’t seem to snap out of it and keeps getting annoyed at you, take that as a sign that he might be having second thoughts about your relationship.

  1. He seems withdrawn

He used to be really open with you. He often shared stories about his day, about his feelings, or really anything that was on his mind. Now he’s closed himself off to you and seems to have shut down. That might be a sign that the end of the relationship is near.

MORE: Exactly Why Men Withdraw From Relationships 

Like I’ve said before, he might be experiencing a phase of being withdrawn that has nothing to do with you or the relationship.

His pulling away could very well be the result of something happening in his external or internal world that has him preoccupied. Or, he may feel the need to withdraw to solve a problem on his own. And that can be normal.

However, if this lasts for an extended period and he’s at the point where he is not even communicating with you anymore, that’s not normal and more than likely a very bad sign for the future of the relationship.

  1. He takes forever to reply to your texts

In the beginning of a relationship, things are normally quite intense. You want to see each other all the time and there’s a lot of texting back and forth.

As the relationship matures and you both get firmly settled in, it is expected that some the initial intensity would die down and the texting would decrease over time.

But if he’s routinely disappearing for days at a time and getting annoyed at you for being upset about it, it’s a clear sign he doesn’t want to hear from you and might not even want to be in a relationship with you anymore.

MORE: 12 Signs He’s Never Going to Settle Down With You 

  1. He doesn’t make time for you anymore

When your man is no longer making you a priority in his life, it is a good sign that the relationship might be over. No matter how busy he is, if he really sees connecting with you as important, he would carve out time to spend with you.

When he says he’s busy as an excuse not to hang out, see it as an avoidance tactic. He wants to avoid you because he is not ready to face the reality that the relationship might be over. He doesn’t want the responsibility of dealing with the issue, and so he chooses to avoid you all together.

If your man turns down a date or two because of prior commitments or because he’s tired, then that’s understandable. But, when he has an excuse every time, it more than likely means he doesn’t want to spend time with you at all and the relationship could be coming to an end.

MORE: 7 Telltale Signs He’s Not in Love Anymore 

  1. Doesn’t try to comfort you when you’re upset

One of the major benefits of being in a relationship is having a reliable support system. There’s no better feeling than knowing your partner has your back and you can rely on him to be there for you when things get rough.

I’m not talking about relying on your partner to “make” you happy or even to be responsible for pulling you out of a bad mood or fixing your problems. What I’m pointing to here is having someone in your life that allows you to be yourself and is happy to be on your side and help however they can when you’re experiencing difficult times.

MORE: The Top 10 Reasons Men Fall Out of Love 

It’s what brings intimacy and fosters emotional bonding. When your man is not interested in comforting you or supporting you when life throws you lemons, he’s stifling one of the most important ways to connect emotionally in your relationship and it’s a sign that he could be thinking of moving on.

  1. He jabs you between the ribs during fights (not literally, I hope!)

When two people of different backgrounds, upbringings, or simply two different brains come together arguments are inevitable. One measure of a healthy relationship is a couple’s ability to fight fair. Are your arguments serving to move the relationship forward, or are you fighting to hurt each other?

If your man argues with the intention of hurting you rather than solving a problem or moving things forward, it’s a good sign that the relationship is about to end.

MORE: 5 Things That Turn Men Off to Relationships 

His cruelty and meanness during arguments could be the result of a lot of negative emotions bubbling up to the surface. Maybe he feels anger, resentment, or frustration in the relationship and arguments provide an easy outlet to let these emotions come to the surface.

If this is the case, it is a good sign he is miserable and doesn’t want to be in the relationship any longer.

  1. He just doesn’t care about your needs anymore

Your man was once very attentive to your needs and the needs of the relationship, now he only focuses on himself. He wants to just hang out with his friends. He only wants to do what he wants. He doesn’t even want to hear you out anymore when you need a shoulder to lean on.

This could mean your relationship is coming to an end. Or, it could very well be another case where he is taking the relationship for granted or just testing boundaries.

Whatever the scenario, when your man stops putting as much time and energy into the relationship as he used to, it could make you feel crazy, longing for something that used to be.

MORE: 7 Biggest Reasons Men Leave Women They Love 

It’s important here to remember what you want in a relationship, the vision you had from the beginning, and to have enough self-love and courage to accept nothing less without blaming anyone or expecting anyone to behave in a certain way.

If it turns out your man is just taking the relationship for granted, stepping back to focus on yourself and your wellbeing might be the thing that encourages him to step up.

But if he shows no intentions of putting in more effort even after you’ve taken a step back and made your needs clear, that’s a strong sign that he’s not interested in doing what it takes to continue the relationship.

  1. Your intimate life doesn’t exist

It’s very common for there to be a lot of intensity at the beginning of a relationship, a concept we’ve discussed before. You want to be next to each other all the time, you can’t keep your hands to yourself and this is normal.

Over time, it is expected that your steamy sex life will slow down to a pace that is more natural for you both.

However, when you’ve stopped having sex altogether and it doesn’t seem like your guy is even attracted to you or turned on by you anymore, it’s a big sign the relationship is over.

MORE: Biggest Signs He Might Not Love You Anymore

  1. He just seems unhappy

Most people experience a bad mood from time to time. And it’s common for one or both partners in a relationship to experience the doldrums every now and again.

But, if your man’s bad mood seems to be constant and you can’t point to anything outside of the relationship that may be causing him distress, then it’s a good sign that the relationship is what’s bringing about his bad mood.

Relationships are only as good as they feel right now. If you man is constantly in a bad mood and there is no sign of his mood improving, this is a strong sign that the relationship may be coming to an end.

MORE: Why Men Fall In Love And Why Men Leave “Perfect” Women

  1. He doesn’t tell you he loves you

If you’ve found yourself asking “Does he still love me?” lately, it’s a bad sign for the relationship. When a guy is in love, he makes it obvious. He is enthusiastic about the relationship and wants you to know how he feels about you.

MORE: How To Know If He Still Wants To Be With You

Granted, he may not profess his love from the mountaintop or write love songs, but he will let you know without uncertainty that he loves you.

If your man is not showing you he loves like he used to and has even stopped saying he loves you, it might mean that he doesn’t.

Final Thoughts

If you really wanted your relationship to work, I know how hard it must have been to read these 10 signs your man doesn’t want to be with you. This is especially true if more than one of these signs rings true for your relationship.

I also know what a blow something like this can be to your sense of self. It’s tough to be with vulnerable with someone, show them who you are, and then have them decided that you are not what they want.

It’s a hard pill to swallow. I know first hand how painful this can be to accept. You don’t want to take no for an answer. You want to prove that you are worthy of their love, time, and affection.

I’ve been through this a few times. Looking back, I’m am so grateful those relationships didn’t work out because I can see now that none of those guys were the one for me.

MORE: 38 Signs Your Relationship Is Over

Accepting the reality that someone doesn’t want to be with you is the first step to finding the love that you truly desire.

Letting go of what’s not working can be the biggest gift you give to yourself. Seeing a breakup as the only sensible step toward having a relationship that works gives you the freedom to walk away powerfully and be excited to see what’s next.

If a guy doesn’t want to be with you anymore, know that it doesn’t mean you’re unlovable or unworthy. It just means he isn’t interested in dating you.

MORE: 7 Signs He Doesn’t Love You Anymore

People do what they feel is best for them and most of the time it’s not personal. There are plenty of men who would love the chance to get to know and love you for who you are. Focus on that.

I hope after reading this article, you have a better understanding of where your guy’s head is at and how he really feels. Before you decide what to do next, there are two things you need to be aware of. At some point, a man will start to pull away and may lose interest. He’s not as responsive to you, he’s not as excited by you, and it feels like you’re losing him … do you know what to do in this situation? If not, you might make one of the major relationship-killing mistakes that many women unknowingly make. Read this now so you don’t fall into that trap: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...

The next issue you need to be aware of is at some point, your guy will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to spend my life with? His answer will determine the fate of your relationship. Do you know what inspires a man to commit, and what makes a woman stand out from the rest in his eyes? If not, you need to read this right now: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman

These 10 Signs Mean He Doesn’t Want To Be With You Anymore:

  1. He’s annoyed by you
  2. He seems withdrawn
  3. He takes forever to reply to your texts
  4. He doesn’t make time for you anymore
  5. Doesn’t try to comfort you when you’re upset
  6. He jabs you between the ribs during fights
  7. He just doesn’t care about your needs anymore
  8. Your intimate life doesn’t exist
  9. He just seems unhappy
  10. He doesn’t tell you he loves you

signs he doesnt want to be with you anymore

Written by Sabrina Alexis

I’m Sabrina Alexis, the co-founder, and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing relatable, insightful articles that help people understand relationship dynamics and how to get the love they want. I have a degree in psychology and have spent the last 10 years interviewing countless men and reading and studying as much as I can to better understand human psychology and how men operate. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Instagram.

18 comments… add one

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I’m going through this right now with my boyfriend I dont know why I still want him

Reply September 25, 2023, 8:41 am


I am not sure of anything when it comes to women and men’s relationships. I hear a lot of men just do not want to tolerate a women. If she isn’t exactly what he wants or looks the way he wants or talks the way he wants. I guess we are a dime a dozen. I’m sure I sound negative and I am sorry. I have not been blessed with a good relationship with any man. I have tried. At least I have been told that..But he said it’s him not me. I want to believe that their is a man that’s out there and we work. I feel men have almost everything they need in their male friendships. Plus some men have been jaded. I now think I am. He was so nice, my husband, then as soon as I moved in to his home, boom life as we knew it went down hill. Yeah it took about 4 years. He still plays nice. But he has no interest in being with me, only trumping me. Honestly, I don’t want to be with someone that can’t grow or doesn’t want to grow together. I am now jaded as well. Just because a guy is nice to you doesn’t mean he wants to be with you. It takes more. I now will accept that I might be without a man in my life. But I sure do not want to be around a man that is not giving equally. I want to show my man how much I love him, but I can’t because I don’t trust them. This is why I do not understand relationships.

Reply June 2, 2021, 11:13 pm


My fiance just churked me ,I now done with love I will never love again

Reply March 20, 2021, 12:53 pm

Siri Mahkala

I feel like my boyfriend is hiding something from me. I also feel like he doesn’t like me anymore because he doesn’t compliment me anymore or say I love u anymore. I am just feeling sad, lonely, and empty in this relationship. I need help.

Reply February 17, 2021, 1:28 pm


As I was reading this he comes out the room and slaps my phone out of my hand and tells me he doesn’t want to be with me and asked me how long?? Wth!?! Guilty much

Reply February 11, 2021, 1:31 am

bridget sunday

thank you

Reply January 19, 2021, 4:20 am


My boy friend did not have for me, he don’t use to call again

Reply October 29, 2020, 7:40 am


my boyfriend has stopped recognising me, even when he is online he doeznt say hi like before..what should i do? am fade up

Reply August 5, 2020, 7:37 pm

Stela brown

I love my guy so much and we are leaving together ,we do play a lot but whenever we have any issue he even when he offended me ,he will be expecting me to apologized, I always cry and apologized to him,but my anger is he always answer women calls in front of me and don’t even care whether it pains or not to the extent he will lo9se his appetite because of another woman, so I got angry that he rejected my food because of a woman ,he became angry too and stop talking to me anymore and he is waiting for for me to first talk to him but I decided to pack and leave the house when he come back and couldn’t find me ,he started sending me abusive words,,,,so I can I continued with such a person

Reply June 18, 2020, 11:16 pm


The only way I get it is if he’s drunk or passed out

Reply June 16, 2020, 2:34 am


In a relationship for 25yrs he days he needs to by himself for a while has a few health issues we both have our own homes he doesn’t even want me to cook for him anymore and says he wants to get closer to the Lord not accepting calls will call me when he’s ready to talk it’s been 2weeks so hurt he tells me it was nothing I did

Reply March 7, 2020, 6:14 pm

Rocky Stone

I think most of us already know and see these redflags in our relationship, we just need confirmation. I mean, i’ve been with a guy for more than a year now but i kind of already knew it’ll turn bad just 2 weeks into the relationship. But I made the mistake of holding on, and hoping… Now that i thought about it, I should’ve done both of us a favor and ended it the moment i felt it was going wrong. Could’ve saved us both the heartache.. Now i’m left crying almost every night wishing that i could’ve just left us as friends.. That would have been best for both of us. Now he’s disrespectful, he’s irritable, he’s distant.. He treats me as if i’m the bane of his existence. He treated me better when we were just friends. Sad.

Reply October 15, 2019, 8:06 am


Very hurt

Reply September 17, 2019, 1:10 am


Take it from a guy in this exact situation. This is complete BS. Most of the time when I see this, the girl in the relationship is not putting the effort.

This is the main reason why guys lose interest. Forgive him.

Show interest in him. Ask what he did all day. Listen to what he says, and give him a chance to speak.

Buy him some flowers and say your sorry, then keep it up!!

Be easy going!! That’s what guys really want.

He will turn around, trust me.

Reply June 26, 2019, 10:27 pm


@kim smith, that is really sad, he masturbated in bed next to you, thinking your sleeping? He should be having sex with you! Along with everything else it looks like he wants out. Have you considered leaving him? Imagine having your husband like that. Is that how you always imagined your husband would treat you? I think it’s better to be single than unloved and in a “relationship “. I know it’s hard but u already know he’s lying to you. I did the hard thing and got the ball rolling on me and my ex breakup. We were supposed to get married the next day (a court wedding ) not the kind of wedding I wanted but that’s not the important thing.). Anyways things kept getting worse and worse with us. He seemed annoyed and quick to drop us being married. Now that I think about it, he called it off! We even have 2 kids together but it looks like he’d rather be single still! What can I do? Everyone makes their own choices in life. I’d rather be with someone who really loves me and wants to spend their life with me. It’s hard, a lot of the time I still miss him and it’s been 4 months! I can tell he’s over me and the family thing must not be what he wants. Learning to accept it and work on my own life. Maybe I’ll meet a good man who WANTs to get married, who knows.

Reply July 29, 2018, 12:39 am

Kim Smith

My fiance is not so nice anymore. He never wants to here what I’m saying, he says I’m nagging. He on the defensive with me. I tell him were supposed to have a partnership..im the first girl he’s ever been serious relationship with. I feel like I’m the odd one out. He’s a terrible liar, so it really sucks. Because I know he can look at me in the face & lie. I already know he’s lying. He sneaks, & thinks nothing of it.. Hes masturbating next to me in bed when he thinks I’m sleeping. He says he loves, but I just don’t feel it

Reply July 7, 2018, 12:49 pm


That is sad and yes i find the article is not talking about long term relationships where people share their living space or are married with kids… i mean yes wow ill certainly find another man who is highly into me.and comitted…but with time… they always end up losing interest.. so what you end starting over with different people all your life??! Thats what i find sad and makes me disappointed in live life :(

Reply August 28, 2019, 5:41 pm


Really informative. Thank you!

Reply December 7, 2017, 10:07 am

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