We probably all have that one friend who, despite being shown all the right signs a guy likes her, remains uncertain. Maybe you, yourself, are that friend. It’s easy to second-guess yourself. Maybe he’s just really friendly! Maybe he’s flirty with everybody. We’ve all run these scenarios through our minds.
We’re also all likely familiar with the friend who assumes someone is into her, when in reality the evidence isn’t there. This situation is, of course, much worse. Even without a risky assumption like this, the world of romance is ripe with potential embarrassment and heartbreak.
When considering all of this, it can be tempting to throw your hands in the air and say you give up. You might want to wait until a guy spells his interest out for you before letting yourself get caught up in the wondering.
To help you avoid this defeat, we’ve compiled a list of 16 signs that he’s truly interested in you.
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Signs He’s Definitely Interested in You
1. He puts effort into his appearance.
Do you notice that he puts in a little extra effort when he knows he’s going to see you? Maybe you catch a whiff of a nice cologne or note the gel in his newly styled hair. Some guys automatically put in the time required to be coiffed, but others reserve that for when they’re dressing to impress.
If the guy normally wearing sweats dons his best outfit to see you, he’s concerned about how you’re going to view him. Your opinion clearly holds some weight.
2. You somehow sense it.
Sometimes our gut tells us what we need to know. It’s a useful, almost indescribable tool that can assist us in all kinds of situations. A gut instinct can steer you out of a dangerous situation, but it can also guide you into a promising one.
All of the signs in the world can’t compare to the feeling you get when you’re around him. Don’t let yourself get swept away in romantic notions but respect your intuition. If you think he likes you, there’s a good chance he does.
3. He initiates the conversation.
No guy is going to regularly hit you up if he’s not interested in pursuing something. Pay attention to how often he texts you out of the blue. If he’s calling you, this is an even greater sign. Talking on the phone requires a level of focus and intimacy that texting doesn’t.
Initiating a conversation in person, especially when there are other people around he could be spending time with, is also a giveaway sign he likes you. If you’re at a party and he goes out of his way to keep talking to you, he’s making his intentions known.
4. You engage in meaningful conversations.
Speaking of conversations, take a moment to consider the quality of your chats. We’re all used to the day-to-day small talk. Whether in line at the grocery store or passing time with a fellow co-worker, inane conversations are a huge part of our days. That’s why it’s so refreshing when you meet someone you can truly converse with.
People crave genuine connection. In our modern world, real human kinship can be a hard thing to come by. If he’s able to be honest with you and talk without pretense, that’s a valuable asset. It shows a level of trust and familiarity that men don’t share with just anyone.
5. He really listens when you speak.
Being an active listener is a somewhat rare commodity. Most people usually nod along just waiting for their chance to speak.
Probably the biggest clue that he’s really listening to you is when he remembers your conversations. It’s hard enough to recall all the minute details about the people in our lives who mean something to us. You don’t also keep track of important information for people who you don’t sincerely care about. Remembering specific dates or events happening in your life is a clear sign a guy is thinking about you.
If a guy goes out of his way to ask you about how your aunt’s fiftieth birthday went, or if your cat is feeling better, take note. He’s clearly trying to show you that what’s going on in your life is of interest to him. Demonstrating this kind of supportive behavior is a strong hint that he’s into you.
6. He invites you into other parts of his life.
Everyone has social circles that are separate from each other. The peers you talk to while waiting for class to start are in a different circle from the friends you grew up with, or from your family members. You only start blending these groups when the person in question is important to you.
If the guy you’re interested in starts inviting you to spend time with his other friends, he’s trying to bring you closer. Of course, if he asks you to family events, this is an even more obvious effort. While it’s not 100% certain that him asking you to hang out with his friends is a sign he wants something more, it’s definitely a firm nudge in that direction.
7. He’s a flirt.
While this should be a straightforward sign, some people are naturally flirtatious. We all know people who can’t help throwing amorous energy to just about everyone they meet. By spending some time observing how your crush acts around others, you can decipher if his flirty behavior is normal or unusual.
Even if he is a naturally flirty person, the way he flirts with you will be different. And if he really is into you, he will probably dial down the flirting with others and increase it with you. By consistently pursuing you with his witty banter and winks, he’ll show you where he stands.
8. He seems different around you.
Some people automatically lift us up, while others are a drain on our energy. When we’re around people we like, we automatically smile more, laugh more, and generally appear uplifted. We all know what it’s like to exhale a sigh of relief when ending certain social interactions. That’s why it’s such a relief to spend time with people who have a positive effect on your mindset.
If he seems to slide into this peaceful mood when you’re around, your presence has a powerful impact on him. There’s no better feeling than knowing your mood is going to improve just by being in someone’s vicinity.
9. His body language changes around you.
Our body language always changes when are with someone we like. Our stance shifts in response to where that other person stands. We can’t help wanting to face them and move closer. Despite our nerves, we’ll likely try to maintain eye contact. Any opportunity to move closer or to touch will be seized. As cliché as it is, we’re like moths to a flame.
A negative change in body language can also help you decipher his intentions. If he shifts away from you, avoids eye contact, or has guarded arms crossed against his chest, these are not great signs. Of course, sometimes we display these characteristics when are nervous, but generally, it signifies a lack of interest. (Read this article for more on body language signs that mean he’s definitely interested in you.)
10. He acts nervous when you’re around.
On the topic of nerves – a little anxiety can be quite telling. Sometimes approaching the person you have a crush on gives you similar sensations to being chased by an ax murderer. Sweaty palms, adrenaline coursing through your veins, twitchy movements. All of the cool things you rehearsed in your head suddenly come out stilted and strange as they try to escape your nervous lips.
Guys are no different. Even the most confident man can become a rambling mess around the woman he likes.
Does he abruptly appear at a loss as to what to do with his hands? Is he jittery and fidgety? Timid laughter can also be a common betrayal of anxiety. Some guys are just naturally nervous and socially awkward. So if that’s his natural mode of being, it doesn’t say much. But if he’s normally relaxed and self-assured, and totally crumbles around you … then you should take note!
11. He’s protective of you.
No one likes an overly possessive or jealous person, but a little protectiveness can be charming. It’s also a subtle sign that he’s attracted to you. It may be hard for him to exhibit this kind of behavior in the beginning, especially since it can come across as overbearing from someone you’re not actively dating.
One way he can show his warmth to you in this way is by jumping at any chance to help you escape an uncomfortable situation. If there’s an overly pushy guy pestering you at the bar, he’ll likely dive in without needing to be asked. If you come to him with a problem you’re having, he won’t be able to resist giving you his best advice and assistance. If you need help with someone, he’s the first to volunteer.
12. He puts in an effort to see you smile.
There’s a reason most girls have “good sense of humor” at the top of their boyfriend wish-list. It feels good to laugh, and we instinctively want to spend time around people who make us giggle. Guys know this and try their best to make the girl they like laugh. It’s also a potential indicator that a girl likes a guy if she freely laughs at his jokes, so it’s an additional incentive for a guy to be at his wittiest around a girl he likes.
Apart from being funny, he’ll go the extra mile to put a smile on your face. It could be remembering your coffee order and surprising you with it before class or work. Or maybe something as simple as sending you a goofy or cute video shows he’s trying to brighten your day.
13. He’s not afraid to be vulnerable around you.
Since guys tend to have more pressure to appear tough than women do, it can be harder for them to show their sensitive side. If a guy is able to open up to you and admit fragilities, don’t take this lightly. Sharing his inner thoughts and vulnerabilities is a huge deal for guys.
It shows a sincere sense of trust when a guy is able to be real with you. To safeguard that responsibility, keep anything sensitive that he tells you to yourself. A guy would never tell things of a susceptible nature to someone he didn’t care about. It’s safe to say that if he’s opened up to you in this way, you rank highly in his life.
14. He compliments you.
No guy is going to lavish compliments on a girl he isn’t interested in pursuing. This is one of the most candid things a guy can do to express his attraction.
Sure, some outgoing, friendly guys might pass on an occasional compliment to a woman with no ulterior motive, but that’s the exception – not the rule. Generally, an appreciative comment on your appearance or on things he likes about you is an indication that he has romantic feelings for you.
While any compliment should be considered a sign of affection, pay special attention to the ones that are specific to you. For example, any guy might say that you have beautiful eyes. A more noteworthy compliment would be, “I love those flecks of green in your eyes.”
15. He finds every excuse to touch you.
Not in a weird way, hopefully. But does he always find excuses to jokingly punch your shoulder, poke your ribs, or even tickle you? Touch has been a tell-tale sign of attraction since the playground days. Instead of tugging on your hair while in line for the rope swing, guys now find slightly more sophisticated ways to initiate contact.
Physical touch is a way to test the waters. If he initiates a playful touch of some kind, he’s definitely going to be studying your reaction. That light touch on your knee when he sits across from you means he’s reaching out in more ways than one.
16. He tells you he’s into you.
Well, this one requires no explanation. If he tells you he likes you, take him at his word. It takes guts to confess your feelings to someone, especially if you’re not 100% sure how it will be reciprocated. Don’t let any niggling insecurities prevent you from seeing the reality of a situation.
However, it’s not just about the words. Also, pay attention to his actions. If he says he likes you but seems indifferent toward you, or he doesn’t demonstrate any of the other signs on this list, then his talk may be cheap. If he tells you he likes you and shows you through his actions, then you’re onto something.
I hope this article helped you better understand the signs a guy is definitely interested in you. Now that you know what to look for, there are two very important moments in every relationship you need to be aware of.
The first is that at some point, your guy may start to pull away. You notice he seems less engaged, he’s a little cold toward you, he’s withdrawn, and it seems like he’s losing interest. Do you know how to handle it so you bring him back instead of pushing him further away? If not, read this next:
If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
Next, there will come a point when a guy asks himself: Is this the woman I want to commit myself to? His answer will determine everything. Do you know what makes a man see a woman as girlfriend/wife material? Do you know what inspires a man to commit? If not, you need to read this too: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
In summary …
Biggest Signs He’s Interested in You:
- He puts effort into his appearance.
- You somehow sense it.
- He initiates the conversation.
- You engage in meaningful conversations.
- He really listens when you speak.
- He invites you into other parts of his life.
- He’s a flirt.
- He seems different around you.
- His body language changes around you.
- He acts nervous when you’re around.
- He’s protective of you.
- He puts in an effort to see you smile.
- He’s not afraid to be vulnerable around you.
- He compliments you.
- He finds every excuse to touch you.
- He tells you.