Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He needs visual
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N.
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N
Hi, I will try to make it brief.
Bf of 6 years, told me last night that he needs visual to have sex.
We always have sex in the living room, lights on, TV on everything bright. But sometimes I want to have sex in our bedroom in a more romantic way. Candle lights or just a dim lamp in the corner. NOT pitchblack (And I explained that to him) But for him that’s not bright enough. He even called me “old”. I was initiating last night and it totally changed my vibe when he said that. I feel like he can’t use touch and his mind to be more intimate that he needs to see my parts in the brightest white light to be aroused.
He told me it should be a good thing that he wants to “see me” rather than the opposite. He even asked me if I’m insecure about something on my body. Lol. Been with this man for 6 years he has seen my whole body it’s not insecurity it’s just moods and vibe.
Bottom line I just don’t want to think that he only has sex and doesn’t “make love” anymore. I know we’ve been together a while and things do get boring etc..but he does nothing to spice anything up he always expects me to, and I do of course occasionally but why can’t we balance it out? Now I have to always be in the brightest light in the house for him to want me? Might as well hand him a torch.
Any thoughts or experience on this topic is greatly appreciated.
Raven
What are your ages?
32 and 33
Well N, Men are visual creatures. They like watching, and that yours still wants to look at you is very good thing.
I did a Google & men build intimacy with lights on- “visual stimulation, increase emotional intimacy, and feel more connected to their partner.” So he is making love to You.
He’s also in his prime.
That doesn’t help Your cause though…
Have you tried having a conversation with him when you’re not in the heat of the moment?
Men are from Mars.
Eric Charles
KeymasterI wouldn’t overthink this. If anything, it’s a good thing he wants to see you.
For most guy, the visual aspect is the biggest turn-on. They’re not looking for theatrics or stunts, your body is enough. And if he’s saying to you that he “needs visual” the sub-text is that he likes your body, he wants to see it and it will turn him on.
Again – this is a good thing.
Men are FAR more forgiving about a woman’s body than it’s presented in society.
Men typically gravitate towards what they like about you visually, so chances are you’re being looked at in the best light.
Thanks for the responses. Doesn’t make me feel better but at least I don’t feel worried.
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