5 Signs He’s Not That Into You post image

5 Signs He’s Not That Into You

There is nothing more exasperating in the world of dating than a guy who seems really interested, but then also maybe not…but then yes…but no again. I’ve been there, and I know most of you have based on the comments and e-mails we receive.

When a guy really likes you, it’s usually pretty obvious. So too when a guy doesn’t like you. The uncertainty usually runs rampant if a guy seems to fall somewhere in between.

He disappears for days at a time and then texts you the sweetest message you’ve ever received. He says he really cares about you, but doesn’t really act like it. And while you’re on this topsy-turvy ride, all you want to know is does this guy like me or not?! You see, a guy can be somewhat interested, but not into it. Instead of seeing it for what it is, women make up excuses and justifications to rationalize the bad behavior away. They say he’ sending mixed messages or playing games or is afraid of getting hurt.

Ladies, my many years of dating and writing about dating have taught me one thing: there are no mixed messages. Either he’s into you or he’s not.

Here are five tell-tale signs that he’s not:

1. He doesn’t ask you about yourself or your life – If a guy shows no interest or excitement over finding out who you are, it’s bad news bears. I dated a guy like this once and it was the strangest thing. He literally asked me nothing about myself! And when I offered up pieces of information it didn’t even register. When I told him I write about relationships for a living there wasn’t even a flicker or intrigue (I mean, I know I’m not curing cancer here but come on!).

When we like someone, we can’t get enough. We want to know every story, every detail. My litmus test in determining how much I like a guy is how much I want to know about him. If after a date I feel satisfied and literally don’t have any questions I feel were left unanswered, it’s onto the next. If he shows no interest in your life, your hobbies, what you enjoy, he’s really just not all that interested in you.

MORE: 5 Tell-tale Signs He Likes You
2. He doesn’t reveal things about himself. On the other side of the coin, if a guy doesn’t tell you anything about himself, it  also means he’s not really feeling it. When we share information about ourselves with someone, we are investing in them. We are inviting them into our world because we see the potential for them to become a part of it. When a guy sees no such potential, he’ll offer up the bare minimum. You’ll get the basics: where he’s from, where he went to school, how he got into such and such line of work….all the things you can just as easily find out on Facebook and Linkedin.

If a guy is into you, he will open up and will peel back that outer layer. He might not necessarily bring out all the skeletons in his closet to play, but he will share information that is more real. There is a big different between knowing about someone and knowing someone.

3. Waits too long to set up the next date-   If you go out with a guy and he makes no indication of ever wanting to see you again, or he waits a few days to call (it’s one thing to do this after the first date, quite another to keep doing it after the second, third, or fourth), it means he’s on the fence about you and isn’t really feeling it. Why does he continue asking you out? Probably because he has nothing else on the horizon and… why not? If a guy is into you, he’ll make it known that he wants another date. He might mention other date ideas he has for the two of you (he’ll find a way to slide it in there, like you say you love Indian food and him being like “I know a great Indian restaurant I’ll take you to next time), or he’ll flat out tell you he wants to see you again.

4. He gives you excuses about why he didn’t call-  He’s busy, he’s stressed at work, he has a million things going on, blah blah blah. If he’s into you, it doesn’t matter how busy he is, he’ll take 30 of the 86400 seconds in a day to reach out to you, even if it’s just to send a quick text. A guy pulling out the excuses early on is always a bad omen.  There’s no stability or certainty in the beginning of a relationships. For all he knows you have a line of guys waiting for their shot with you. If he’s into you, he won’t risk some other guy snatching you up while he was “too busy” working on a project.

Another bad sign is if he doesn’t call when he says he will.  If a guy says he’ll call you tomorrow and then doesn’t call until two or three days later, it means you’re just not a priority to him and he’s neither here nor there with the relationship. If you wanna go out with him again, great. If you start dating someone else, whatever. If a guy is into you, he’ll call when he says he will.

Looking back on my own extensive dating history, the guys who called when they said they would were the ones who were serious and very into me. And things never lasted more than three dates with the guys who made me sweat it out. When a guy likes you, he’ll bring his A-game. Men are competitive by nature. No guy is gonna let a girl he likes get snatched up by some other dude.

5. You can’t tell if he’s interested. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, when a guy likes you, it’s obvious…as in no secret codes or hidden clues to uncover. If you have a suspicion that he’s not feeling it, it’s probably because he isn’t (I recommend you read my article on the importance of trusting your gut for more on this). What women call “mixed messages” is actually one very clear message: he doesn’t want to be with you. He may want to hang out with you, but that is not the same as being with you.

I know this one is the hardest to digest and you’ll probably fight it with all your might and think that your own insecurities are the reason you suspect he’s not interested….and not the fact that he might actually not be interested.

If a guy wants you, you’ll know it. He won’t make it a mystery, he won’t try to confuse you. In fact, he’ll do the opposite, he’ll make it clear as day that he’s interested so as not to risk losing you.

Got more signs a guy isn’t interested? Tell us what you got in comments!

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I meet this guy online 5 months a go at first I didn’t show any interest on home but he never give up he keep on sending sweet messages everyday whither I reply or not until at the 4th month I realized that I already like him as well so I ask him why he never give up even I ignore him many time and tell him am not interested. He said he really like me and all he is asking is to give him change and maybe we can meet in person after a few months because he is about to come on my place for his job. So I give him a chance and I focus on him we had fun getting to know each other, we have so much in common and I think we can get along very well even in person. But this past 2 weeks he started to change he started not to text me everyday or even not reply my messages and he is always has an excuse that he is busy or stress. Thats what makes me confused! ????

Reply August 18, 2015, 12:05 am


These 5 are so true. Once upon a time, I fell into a trap seeing a guy, who once didn’t come up to our last date. That really hurt, and I learned my lesson I guess. Since he is a childhood friend, he still communicates once in a while. But it is clear to me now that he is not just into me.

Reply July 29, 2015, 8:59 pm


You seem to be a nice person.In the past I was ( at least ) tried to be a nice/good girl but today no way..
If a guy, even if he was a childhood friend, did that with me without any explanation, I’d put him in my list of the deceased people and wouldn’t say even a “hi” or “goodbye” to him.

Reply July 30, 2015, 2:18 pm


As a guy, I can say that this article is 100% accurate. If your response is something like “I told him that if he wasn’t interested, just say so and I’ll move on, but he doesn’t say” or something to that extent, that is not going to happen.
The last part of this article is the most important. We guys are not that hard to figure out. If a guy is REALLY interested in you, you will know it.

Reply June 18, 2015, 9:36 pm

Anabela G.

Thank you Joe! Yeah guys are not that had to figure out, girls typically are! And wait is this website only for adults? And I agree with you, I am a young adult. And I have a guy friend whoI used to like, he seems interested in hanging out kinda. I used ask him twice, and now he can randomly text how we should hang out. at the same time, he doesn’t text me unless I text him “Hi” first. He came to my house for a pool party I had, and know him from church. I want to stay in the Friends Zone for now though. Because I’ve always wanted a true guy friend. I think it’s because he is bored, wants to hang out with friends this summer, & I am the easiest one to go for. Usally when I say “good morning”. He says ir back with an explnation ponit & a smily face, and he usally askes “what’s up”. He is a very nice guy, and i know him from church. We don’t really hang out at church though, my group of 3 people I hang with. Does not get along with the group of his 5 friends. He hangs with all guys, and me all gals. Zack and I are the only peopel from those groups at church who get along. And we have spoken over the phone for about an hour once before, it was kinda deep. And he says “he only texts, and does answer his phone”. Oh haha sure xD. Too Long? That wasn’t even all

Reply July 25, 2015, 9:04 pm


“Never treat someone like a priority when they treat you like an option.” Personally, I agree with that. I’m straight in general, if I’m not interested in a guy, I say it to him. I think this show more consideration , instead of simply illuding people. The only thing I regret about a guy I liked is wasting almost a year to figure out he was not interested. If he had just said it, I would move on without being hoping mad with me as I am now.

Reply July 30, 2015, 2:37 pm


So I really am not sure that any of the advice in this article is accurate for all men. All men are different. I know a lot of the above sounds good in theory, but then I can think of tons of exceptions where this doesn’t really jive.

Not showing interest in a woman’s life – Ok, some men are very nervous in early dating and talk too much. Some men who aren’t interested ask women lots of questions and seem interested but they are faking it.

He doesn’t reveal things – Once again, he might be nervous, he might be shy, he might feel he need to listen to the woman. I know men who freeze up around a woman they are interetsed in.

Waits too long to set up the next date – Well, some men set up the next date at the end of the date, but sometimes they just want casual and want to seem interested. And sometimes men overestimate their interest and ask then meet another woman and cancel. And sometimes men are busy and are dating slow. Some men think if they seem too interested they will scare a girl off.

You can’t tell if he’s interested – What if the woman gets nervous on dates and her perception is off. What if the guy is nervous and it comes accross as disinterest.

I know men who did all the things that would indicate he liked a woman and he really did not at least not enough. I know men who would fall into the category of not liking a woman but they really did like the woman.

I think at a certain point some of these things might be valid but early dating is full of too many uncertainties for formulas.

Reply June 1, 2015, 5:35 pm


I have a problem, i have met a guy online. We Both have been texting and a few phone calls. Though now phone calls have dimmed. We both had relationships but we are single now. Though we live in different states. Im not sure if im ready for the leap to meet him, out of fear. Fear that he will not want me and fear that it could be real Feelings Even. Though he wants me to travel to see him. Also I have kids, he says I am complicated..

Of late he has died off in message’s. I have backed off but im crushed he hasnt messaged me. Its been two days, and nothing from him. I dont want to give in and text but i think hes waiting for that because normally I do cave in.

He has said he likes me and my smile gets to him and he trys to hid from it. but he doesnt like to make something out to be more than what it is because well to him ‘im not real!’ he cant touch me so how can I be… whatever that means. Is he saying im too good to be true or does he really just think I was just a random fantasy thing he was trying out. Or is he freaking out as much as I am.

Just need an input.
Little lost.

Reply May 9, 2015, 3:10 am


I don’t know what my situation is probably bad like usual, got this guy at work that works in a different department catch him staring once in a while when I walk by made eye contact other day finally big smile and asked how I am doing today decided to talk to him on a smoke break think he’s shy, could tell he was nervous puffing very hard on his cigarette I could hear it had to initiate it when it was something about him he was responsive than when I talked about something else about not having car with me today at work finished his cigarette and excused himself politely and went back inside maybe I made a mistake approaching him just going to ignore him for a while wait and see confused probably not a good sign been to blunt or its just me

Reply May 2, 2015, 10:11 pm


I’m a guy. He is shy and got nervous and did not know how to keep the conversation going.
Next time you see him, make eye contact and smile. If he reacts positive, he is interested. If he looks away, folds his arms, or doesn’t smile, that is a bad sign in my view.

Reply June 18, 2015, 9:41 pm


Of all the 5 signs, my guy gives me only the 5th one. That is, everything tells me he is very interested, except of the fact that he says… he isn’t. He made it clear that he doesn’t want a relationship, but he looks like he is truly in love. Maybe that is because our situation and history is quite complicated. We’ve had an affair when he was married. Then he got divorced and he wanted to be with me. But I was in a relationship at that time myself, so I didn’t really give him any reply. And then he started to seeing someone else (not too seriously). We’ve met after few months, ended up in bed again, but he said that he doesn’t want a relationship (before having sex, I have to make that clear – he was honest with me). He says it is a really complicated moment in his life now and he is not for any relationship at the moment – with me or with the other girl that he’s been seeing (he claims he’s honest with her as well in that regard). So now… I am confused. Everything would be clear – no relationship, just sex and hanging out. But what confuses me is that not long ago he almost proposed to me. And he has this look in his eyes of a deeply in love guy. I really don’t know what to do with that. Will he commit? Are we just going to have sex from time to time? What the hell is going on between us? Is he really so confused or is he simply manipulating me? We are going to see each other soon and I am really not sure what to expect. Also, I don’t know if I should continue seeing him (having just sex is not the best for me, as I’m afraid I’ve already started to develop feelings for him.)

Reply April 22, 2015, 8:00 pm


I’m a guy. My guess is that he was hurt a lot and has trouble trusting.
You cheated with him, maybe he is worried you will cheat on him. More likely though, it is just a general ‘I can’t handle commitment involving trust because I was hurt’ thing.

Reply June 18, 2015, 9:44 pm

miss s

Also I really love him and I tell him at all times but all he says is hmm hmm iknw you all might think this is wrong but age is nothing to me than just numbers I’m 23 and he is 45 but he dosnt at all look his age honest truth he is such a handsome black man a little tall but not much I’d say 6ft sumert and he is thin/skinny well not to skinny! Anyway going back to where I was saying something!!! Well basically the way I’ve spoken makes him sound bad but he himself is such a kind hearted man he has actually been the only one there for me as I have nobody all my family disoned me the only thing makes him bad is him cheating even tho he says he isn’t but iknw he is just by certain text I’ve seen in his phone without him knowing and because I took a number and added her to watsapp and we got speaking she thought it was him and sent me nude pictures of herself! He thinks I cheated on him but I didn’t and without fail if we argue does he mention the guy or sumert bout sleepin with him or someone else he goes on and says he dosnt care but if I say sumert about a man he gets really hyrated so I can see that it does hurt him! the big change in us is just breaking my heart I don’t knw were I’m coming or going if he wants me if he don’t as he dosnt really speak with me like we use to we don’t play he won’t kiss me he dosnt wake with me as he dosnt sleep in my bed he don’t hold me in his arms let me fall asleep or watch movies like he use to he is more time out rings when he wants sometimes ask if I’m ok tho he feels to touch me when he feels to what I have noticed aswel is everytime I get a bath and get ready to go out well only just recently well without fail does he want to make lov to me or sex what ever he says now days but to me its lov the way he does it! He has his ex pics in every phone he has even new ones recent but says he hasn’t seen her but he dosnt knw I’ve been in his phone!! Cus since the day he told me what he did I’ve always mentioned her name to him but he has always got funny its like he gets deffensive and sticks up for her but if I tell him he says no I don’t u just piss me of stop liv peoples life and stop live hers iknw he does but he trys to go on like he don’t yet he knows he does himself!! If an argument happened cus she would see and tell me they been together and he was in front he would keep quite but if she wasn’t there he would say she isn’t what he cares about the only thing he will love is the father up above he says he didn’t sleep with her but why is that why change when she gone and when she here he quite! I’m so heart broken right now because he is such a good man with a heart of gold and before him I was in a vilont relationship for 4/half years and meeting him was the best thing just wat he is doing but keeps denying! Everytime he is around me well when he is I feel so amazing I love him in the same place as me even if he sits on the other sofa all times and dosnt really respond to me but then when he goes I end up crying and constantly calling him just to try start a convo to say I lov miss and such and such ect hoping I will hear it back again but that hasn’t happened in a while now couple months I feel as if he does love me and dosnt wana let me go but cus he thinks I cheated cus was around a guy when we had a fall out but me and the guy we just friends well was but he dosnt believe me because when he started being funny with me I played it back like a fool and lied wouldn’t tell him owt and then he find out the truth at all times so that’s why he dosnt believe me but honest I didn’t anyway its like he goes on with me and says he dosnt care but the things he goes on like tells me he dus lov me don’t wana let any1 else av me but he can’t get close cus he thinks that thing of me!! Sorry if I’m going on but I’ve never spoken to any1 b4 I always hold how I feel to myself and just constant cry!! Please someone just help me bacause I don’t wana lose him or another girl to have him so do you think there is a way I can get him back the way we use to or do you think that will never happen? Just beg somebody helps me on all of this cus I don’t understand. It myself to be fair if I’m his or if I’m not does he care and love me or does he not I love him I sure do know that he atracts to me always he always on ma mind I also get really horny when I’m near him but if he isn’t near me I don’t bother he turns me on a lot does that say how much I like him to any1 but even if I feel that way I av to keep it to myself cus he hardly touches me! If anyone knows please reply back to me thanks miss s

Reply April 1, 2015, 1:31 am

miss s

Can you please comment at the bottom of it thanks don’t really know how these things work lol!

Reply March 31, 2015, 8:47 pm

miss s

Hi can I get abit of advice please? There was a guy who I had met 2years ago now well basically when we got together he was so nice saying the most romantic things and stying with me for the first few months non stop untill one day he didn’t come to see me and didn’t answer his call well when he did eventually get to me he acted a little difference well in my heart I had a feeling he was cheating one day I bumped into a girl he use to be with and we got into a conversation she was saying things trying to drop about him cheating on me with her but didn want to fully say it out well in the end se just told me well I had rang him and asked he denyed it and sid no so I believed then one night we had just made love and he addmitted he cheated after that I just didn’t trust him as he hardly wasaround me sneaking phone contact well he stated to act really different to what he was like when we got together anyway I constanly mentioned the girl to him untill he just didt take notice and hardly come home I ended up taking omething of his not because I wanted but I just wanted him to realise me again he then started to fade didn’t sty with me at allhardly had sex with me so then I got so upset I started to talk to a guy and hang with him in a friendship way untill arguments hapened and I come back home well my boyfriend thinks I cheated on him and I didn’t he also thinks I’ve sold my body and slept with my cousin but I havnt well he know won’t kiss me at all hardly has sex and if he he treats mesort of like whore and ask me to suc his dick and he never asked that before he dosnt even say he loves me at all anymore stays out a lot well if I mention the girl o him he gets really mad he has pictures of her in everyone of his phones but he dosnt know I’ve seen them can someone pleas help me and tell me what his signs are ezactally sayin to me as I don’t really understand myself?

Reply March 31, 2015, 8:45 pm


Hi Greg,

Hope you are well?

I’ve recently discovered your blog.. I’m in my third long term relationship.. The longest lasting 3 years.. I know you have a habit of saying guys are not into the girls they are dating but I kind of need to know if I’m wasting my time with mine.

I’ve been with my current guy for just over a year.. I’ve always been the guy in the relationship.. I’ve bossed them around and had them tell
Me excactly where they are, who they’re with and what they’re doing… With this new guy it’s a totally different situation..

I know you say that you can’t rely on man to make you happy but it’s all I have.. I had a really tough upbringing and so as a result I don’t have a family, I still keep in touch with my sister although she has her own family so she can’t mother me all the time and I don’t like to put my stresses on her..

Anyway.. So I’m a bit of a home bum.. I love staying in, watching tv, having a takeaway, I love the cinema and spending time with my family. My boyfriend likes to rave.. He takes E and occasionally takes cocaine if his friends are doing it.. I personally don’t like it.. I’ve asked him if he ever plans to stop he’s said yes.. Which is probably the reason I’ve stayed with him.

I’m writing this because I need to know whether to work at it, whether it will get any better.. We’ve been out on a night out.. It was one of his work colleagues leaving drinks and he invited me, me mingled.. On the way home we decided to grab a kebab (disgusting I know) I ordered a kebab and chips.. He was planning to go next door and get a Chinese.. He then decided to get a kebab.. I said just get dinner meat and share my chips (I only have a couple) … So then he absolutely flips on me and shouts at me saying ‘don’t tell me what to fucking order or change my order’ I’ve never changed his order/ordered for him before.. And after we pay he storms out at too speed.. Then as I’m trying to keep up with him he stops and gives an exasperated sigh as if I’m miles behind him but I’m actually only a metre away and then powers off again.. Then when I ask him why he’s angry he starts shouting at me.. This is how it is every argument .. My friends dislike him and my family dislike him but I’ve never loved anyone more than i do him..

I just want to know if I should move on.. I’m 26.. I just want someone to love me as much as i do them…

Sorry for the long winded story but i just need a guys help.. None of my guy mates will get involved..



Reply March 13, 2015, 5:49 pm


i have been dating a guy for a year and some month nw he does nt call but whenever i call him or flash him he calls back and start telling me the reasone why he did not call becuse he was bizi at work he normally gives me details whenever he calls back but the thing is that if i dont call him for a week if he should call back he would get upset and askd why i didnt call him if he should tell me he would call me back he will not but if i call or flash he start telling me the reasone why he did not call

Reply March 12, 2015, 4:13 pm


Sorry, don’t agree with this at all.

I would happily give a girl my c game, even if I was totally into her. There’s tons of women out there, why would one expect to trump all the others!?

And I wouldn’t care if they did have men lined up, have you seen your average man these days!?

Reply January 8, 2015, 4:11 pm


I give up on the “mixed” signals. I mean why cant men for once just be honest. Dating is extra difficult now because its a hook up culture and you dont know if you will get the chance to bump into someone who wants the same thing that you want. I am currently seeing the guy “if he is in the neighborhood”. I really like him, but like what Eric and Sabrina says you really cant force a relationship from a man who doesnt want one. Im taking baby steps not to obsess about this guy really, and its hard. I really want him :( I thought we had something when we were dating for a week then he goes on holidays and *bam* – no communication. He just replied when he was coming back from holidays and then the communication increased because I think he is getting sad and lonely and needs a pick me up :(

Reply December 29, 2014, 8:55 am


How about the woman says “I love Indian food… I know a great Indian restaurant I’ll take YOU to next time.” This whole article implies such passivity on the part of the woman.

Reply December 20, 2014, 2:01 pm


my coworker asked me and my gf if it was ok for him to fart in front of us is this normal or is he trying to tell us something please help me

Reply November 18, 2014, 1:27 pm


can someone answer this question my coworker was in the office yesterday with my gf and I and he asked us both if it was ok for him to fart in front of us is this natural or is he trying to do tell us something please help

Reply November 18, 2014, 1:25 pm


Woops! In my comment immediately below, the following sentence should read: But now the SECOND man seems to be losing interest in me, as I haven’t really given him any clues to how much I am attracted to him.

Reply November 17, 2014, 6:43 am


I have been with a man in a very unhappy relationship for a number of years. He is going through an extremely pressing personal crisis and because of this I have been hanging on to see if things improve once the deadline has passed for this particular issue he has to resolve. We have not had sex for months and his health is bad. However, he is not willing to buy ED drugs, even though the free samples he got from the doctor do work and allow some functionality. But he ran out months ago. And we fight all the time. Meantime I met a very nice man who is obviously interested in me on the sexual level. He even told me he likes me. He knows nothing about me really, though. He doesn’t know about my relationship. I didn’t feel ready to tell him that I am also interested in him, since I feel obligated to see how the first relationship goes, especially since we’ve been involved for years and I want to give him one last chance. But now the first man seems to be losing interest in me, as I haven’t really given him any clues to how much I am attracted to him. I just told him a few months ago “I have a lot of major things going on in my life that I don’t want to talk about right now” and I left it at that. So if the first guy and I resolve our issues and patch things up, then it won’t matter about the second guy. But if I do leave the first guy — and there is a very good chance that this is what will happen — I wonder if there is anything I can do to pick up with the second guy now that he probably thinks I’m not interested. When I didn’t give him a resounding “I like you too” response, he probably concluded that I just want to be friends and that is maybe why he gave up trying to communicate on any meaningful level. And I have been afraid to try to talk with him now, for fear of looking like I’m chasing him or getting too heavy by having “a talk” which guys always hate. But when I saw him at a business meeting since then, I could tell he is still attracted on that physical level. But again not interested in talking anymore, which seemed to stop when I didn’t give him anything to think that I like him back that day he told me he likes me. I really suspect that when I didn’t say “I like you too” that he concluded I just want to be friends and that I’m not interested in him sexually — which I am. So now I am very confused about what to do or not to do. Should I wait until things are clear one way or the other with the first guy and risk losing out on the new one as more time passes? Or should I try to let the new guy know how I feel even if I am not ready to make a move? Or should I not do anything and wait and see if the new guy starts to communicate with me again on a more personal level? Or . . . ?

Reply November 17, 2014, 6:38 am


Ok, is it the same if he’s shy / timid with girls. I am with guys. And the above just doesn’t apply for me anyway.

Reply October 25, 2014, 12:26 am


I recently had my first experience with a guy who seems to be in the middle. He told me he liked me but he didn’t act on it. He never asks me about myself and he doesn’t tell me much about himself either, even when I ask. This kind of hurt me because I just recently decided to open my heart up again so I can move on from my past. But after this guy, it really just showed me how I’m not ready to be hurt again. I think I’ll close my heart again for another year or so and just enjoy my life. Dating is just too frustrating and I’m at a point in my life where I don’t need any more unnecessary stress. I’m throwing in the towel for now.

Reply October 20, 2014, 12:12 am

Gail Charles

He rather stay out play with my feelings an use every things but i have to wait for time or money

Reply June 28, 2014, 3:50 am


My boy is from england and I live in America, we chat and all of that but, I don’t know if he is really into me. We chat everyday, tell jokes, he always tell me how much he want to be with me and how much he loves me (he had even made wedding plans and kids! and im not interested in that right now) and then he start talking about us having sex.
I want to know if he only want to make out or he really loves me.

Reply June 5, 2014, 10:44 pm

Kelly Ann

I really enjoy these blogs, but my situation is more complicated to really know if the guy that I’m crazy about is interested in me. That’s because my child goes to a school where this man works in & I think that it would be close to impossible for anything to happen because it would be a conflict of interest. No, he’s not the Principal of the school, but close. I have been looking to move out of the town I live in, but for other reasons & I think that then is when I will truly know whether this man will be open to a friendship with me or possibly something more, but until that happens I can honestly say that my hands are tied.

Reply April 16, 2014, 7:07 pm


When your boyfriend makes you get off the bed so that he can have sex with his other girlfriend. I let this go for a long time, thinking I might be able to get back in bed with him. Then I realized, he wasn’t into me.

Reply March 19, 2014, 8:01 pm


I agree with all the comments – this type of thing is extremely frustrating! I’ve been talking to this guy for a few months and we’ve been on a few nice dates. He seems really interested and is super friendly and enthusiastic. But I just have no idea how he feels. And I don’t know if I should bring it up with him and ask him how he feels, or if I should just keep talking to him to see where it goes! Grrrr! It’s also been about a month since our last ‘date’… and yet he’s still talking to me daily (with great enthusiasm and kindness) but hasn’t asked me out again! I’m so confused.

Reply March 15, 2014, 6:48 am


Yes I agree with some points here. A guy I’m into at the moment will tell me about his life, his family in Europe, he introduced me to his sister, everyone said he liked me, literally be in the same room with me but he won’t call me at all when he said he will. I have texted him several times but he’d make excuses to not see me. He has emotional baggage and he has commitment issues. I can tell he’s interested in me but I can’t tell if he’d like to date me.

Reply March 6, 2014, 2:30 pm


I once dated a man like this one. He took me to a family party and everyone was so nice with me and his sister and I kept talking for a while. He never called me again so I gave up on him. After a couple of years, I met him at a friend’s party, I had the courage of asking him what happened and he said that he got scared because his family seemed to like me a lot and that made him feel pressured. He was totally honest that time, I could tell. He also said that having his family approval made him feel like he should be with me but he wasn’t ready to commit then. So he let me go. That night he asked me on a serious date and I told him no. What I learnt from this experience is that I should give more time to the whole “meet the family, meet the friends” sometimes, if that happens too fast it ruins the whole relationship process. I personally have never introduced someone to my family, because no one is worth that much yet. For some people is a huge deal. Hope this helps

Reply January 22, 2015, 10:09 am


Ok so I tried calling the guy I liked yesturday cuz I wondered why he didn’t get back to my message so I called uesturday he didnt pick up but he did leave a message saying Hey I’m at the gym right now I’ll call you when I leave it was 9:58 when I called and he sent me this . I was waiting till he was done but never got a call back what happened did he forget??

Reply February 28, 2014, 6:12 am


Oh hun.. Ofcourse he didn’t forget. He’s not that into you. When a guy say they’re gonna call and doesn’t it means that he’s not that into you. It hurts. It sucks. But fuck him and move on!

Reply February 17, 2015, 8:38 am


Freakin’ a this is exactly what I’m going through right now and the writing’s on the wall..but damn it’s so frustrating. Why the hell do they still contact you if there’s no interest, it’s like so hard to move on because you keep hoping that there might be something there. It is seriously one of the most frustrating things about dating, but thanks for posting. I just have to refer back to this when I go through this situation again.

Reply January 3, 2014, 2:15 am


Yes! I’m going through the same thing! It sucks when guys won’t just tell you how they feel. Obviously it will suck because you like them, but hey, i would rather someone be honest with me and let me know straight up because I would do the same. I’m at the point where I’ve stepped back and made no contact. That’s the only true way of knowing how they feel about you. If they want you, they will get concerned after they realize they haven’t heard from you, and they will contact you. If they don’t, they didn’t care. Yes, it is hard, veeeeery hard, lol, seems like it’s a constant emotional roller coaster, but you have to stop contacting them. It might take some time but you will get through it!

Reply January 24, 2014, 4:03 pm


There’s this guy friend of mine who was totally into me like 80% of all the signs listed in every article on the internet match with his behaviour.. We had met at a tuition 3 months before and had started liking each other for only a month. This was back in March ’13 when we were having our exams. The last time I saw him he was all tensed and asked me if I would appear for the exams again, and that he would re-appear (coz he reckoned his didn’t go well.)
After that day he has been out of touch with everyone I know! I sent him a text recently; he didn’t respond again.. I’m just so curious what happened! :(

Reply December 30, 2013, 10:17 am


The same thing happened to me. Me and this guy liked each other and we would talk endlessly. Then one day he just gradually stopped. And now I text him and don’t always get replys. Or I’ll see him in person and he’ll talk to me but not on the same level as before. What the heck

Reply May 28, 2014, 12:26 am


This isn’t my experience, but this is one sign which is one of the things you guys say a lot. A guy is definitely not into you if he says things like ‘I’m not looking for anything serious’ but he still goes out with you and you think the relationship might still be headed for the long term. Nuh uh. He might be into you a little, but not into you enough to really make you his girlfriend.

I also wanted to add one of the things that might make you think he’s not into you that much but he probably is, and just has a different way of showing it. That’s the whole ‘saying I love you’ situation. I get now that there are some guys who just aren’t comfortable saying ‘I love you’ but they are very demonstrative in showing it. You just have to be receptive, and it’s probably far better for a guy to show it and not speak the words at all than a guy to claim the words but treat you like muck.

Reply December 5, 2013, 9:23 pm

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