5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Men post image

5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Men

Men and women. Women and men. We’re not that different, yet we can’t seem to figure each other out. Don’t despair – I have a little secret that is sure to perk you up: men – yes, those creatures who are so often the bane of our very existence, the ones who puzzle us and tear us apart inside, the ones that cause so much grief but always keep us coming back for more – are not all that difficult to understand. In fact, I think I have an easier time explaining why men do things than I do with women.

I have been writing about relationships for a while now and over the years I have noticed some prominent points of confusion, ones that seem to be shared by women of all ages from all around the world (no exaggeration). I can relate to all the questions we receive on a personal level because once upon a time, I too was banging my head against the table in an effort to understand why.

It wasn’t an easy process, but I eventually reached a point where it all made sense and all my questions and confusions suddenly evaporated. Fortunately, I’m not the selfish type and am more than happy to share everything I’ve learned.

Read on for universal male truths that can save your relationship and your sanity.

1. He doesn’t care about the texts (and neither should you!)

I don’t know what the biggest relationship concern was back in the days of touch-tone phones, but these days, it’s all about a guy’s texting habits: why he used to text so much in the beginning and then stopped, why he takes so long to reply, why he disappears for days at a time, why his texts are so short, etc., etc. The really sad/funny thing is that men have NO idea how intensely their texting habits are being scrutinized. None!

There are all kinds of reasons why this is such an issue for women and why men are so oblivious to it – reasons we’ve discussed at length in previous articles– but the takeaway is that this whole thing is a non-issue for men. Most men see texting as nuisance. Yeah, they’ll text a lot in the beginning when they’re trying to win you over, but it’s not sustainable or realistic to continue at that level indefinitely. In the beginning, it’s all new and fresh and if he’s really into you he will be thinking about you a lot and will feel the urge to text you frequently. After some time has passed and the relationship is a bit more established, this urge isn’t as pressing and it begins to feel like work.

Sadly, a lot of relationships collapse before they even get off the ground because the girl can’t handle the sudden decrease in daily texts and instead of dealing with it, she lashes out at the guy and demands explanations for every text he doesn’t reply to. The mistake that many make is thinking that the sudden drop in texts means he’s losing interest or doesn’t care. That’s not usually the case, though. Most often, he’s just settling back into his normal routine.

You can’t measure the depth of a relationship by the amount of texts received on average per day or how much time has elapsed in between each text. You measure the depth of a relationship by the quality of the time you spend with that person. You can spend all day going back and forth with some guy about nonsense. This doesn’t mean you have a great and profound relationship, it doesn’t really mean…anything.

MORE- Ask a Guy: When a Guy Doesn’t Text Back

Guys don’t think about relationships as often as women do. It’s just not where their head is at. It doesn’t mean they don’t care; it’s just not a central point of focus. Countless studies have shown that women primarily gain their sense of worth and self-esteem through their interpersonal relationships while men measure their worth based on their ability to have an impact in the world and contribute in a meaningful way.

If a man is at work, then that is the sole center of his world and nothing exists outside of that. The fact that a man doesn’t text you as much or as often as you’d like doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you – he’s usually just focusing on something else and most men have a difficult time seeing beyond a given task at hand. This is hard for most women to understand because women can switch from one task to the next and back again with much more ease.

2. Men communicate through actions more than words

We get a lot of questions that go something like: “I’m really confused, my boyfriend says he’s crazy about me and I’m the most amazing/wonderful/smart/funny/etc girl he’s ever dated but he always blows me off and he can’t hang out and doesn’t have time to talk on the phone or text back or take me out on dates and I really only see him late at night when he feels like it.” OK, maybe not exactly like that, but close enough. Men intuitively know that words are important to women. Some men exploit this by saying things they don’t really feel or believe in order to get what they want, and other men hold back from expressing how they truly feel, knowing that once the words are out there the dynamic of the relationship will irrevocably be altered.

If a guy says he’ll do anything for you and then calls late at night and begs you to come over, claiming to be too tired to make the drive over to your place, then he has a very loose definition of anything! If he says he really cares about you and misses you but then goes days or weeks without calling or making time to see you because he’s swamped at work, or some excuse along those lines, what he’s really saying is you’re not important enough to make time for.

The opposite is also true: a guy may not be saying something with his words and instead, express how he’s feeling through actions. For instance, let’s say a woman is in a truly amazing relationship and the only problem is her man has yet to say those three not-so-little words. She may start to obsess over why he hasn’t said it and what it means. While she’s trapped in her head, she’ll ignore all the amazing things he does for her, the things that should show her beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loves her!

Love is a big and scary word for a lot of guys. This doesn’t mean they’re incapable of feeling love, – it just means they often have a hard time saying it out loud. Women get so tripped up in relationships by honing in on the words while it’s really the actions that say it all. If he is there for you, if he is considerate of you, if he goes out of his way for you, if he opens up to you, he loves you.

Quiz: Does He Really Love Me?

Look, I don’t think I’m making any radical claims by saying men are the less communicative of the two genders. If you want to know where he really stands, pay closer attention to what he’s doing and put less emphasis on what he is and isn’t saying.

3. They want to give and make you happy – they just don’t always know how

Hold onto your seats, ladies, this might come as a major shock: men want to make you happy. Yes, that is correct. I know it can sometimes feel like he’s intentionally trying to make your life more difficult, and while he may be driving you nuts, deep down all he really wants is to provide for you and give you what you need. The only problem is he has no idea how to do it.

Men aren’t women (sorry to throw another shocker at you there!). They aren’t able to intuit the nuances and decipher the clues. If you want him to give you what you want, tell him what it is that you want! The trick is to do it in a way that’s encouraging, not one that’s threatening, demanding, or nagging. When he does something you like and appreciate, acknowledge it and reward him for it. Show him how happy it made you when he did such and such. Nothing is more attractive and appealing to a man than a woman who is thoroughly happy with him. When he sees he can make you happy, he will be motivated to do whatever he can to keep you happy.

You might be thinking: “But I always tell him what I want and he still doesn’t do it! I tell him all the time to bring me flowers and call me more and take me out and nothing changes!” In this case, yes, you’re telling him what you want but you’re doing it in a way that makes him not want to give it to you. If you discourage him or nag him, he will feel defeated and will withdraw from you. The best strategy is to ask for and encourage what you want without complaining about what you don’t want.

4.  He’ll get over his baggage if he thinks he’s going to lose you

Whether it’s a breakup, a demanding schedule, a stressful job, o a painful past, it will become a non-issue the minute a man thinks he’s losing you. Guys will resort to all kinds of excuses to avoid being in an exclusive relationship – this usually has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his natural aversion to being tied down (more on this in #5). If he knows that he can give you some excuse about still being devastated over his last relationship and you’ll stick around, then you can be sure said “broken heart” won’t be mending anytime soon. If he senses you will leave if he doesn’t commit (or if you actually go ahead and say this isn’t what you want and actually cut the chord), he’ll get his act together…fast!

MORE: How Guys Deal With Breakups 

It may sound like an immature game, but why would he (or should he) put in more effort when he can get the exact same reward? If you find a Chanel dress on sale for $20 would you absolutely insist on paying the original market value of $2,000? I mean, that’s how much the dress is worth. The obvious answer is no, you wouldn’t. If you can get something for less, you will happily take it and would be a fool to offer more than the minimum amount.

This happens in relationships all the time. If a man scores an amazing girl who is there for him no matter what, he won’t put in an ounce of effort more than is necessary to keep her around. If a man really cares about you and knows you’ll leave if he doesn’t commit, he will forget his ex-girlfriend’s name and commit to you in a heartbeat. He won’t delay for a second and risk some other guy swooping in and snatching you up. And if he doesn’t commit and still insists he can’t give you what you want? Well, he was probably never that into you to begin with and it’s better to know before you get in too deep.

5. Their number one concern is losing their freedom, always.

In the interest of making your life better and your understanding of men crystal-clear, I’m gonna skip the sugar-coating and cut right to the heart of it: men are terrified of losing their freedom. It may sound ridiculous or immature, but it’s the truth. This is the reason men are so afraid of commitment, it’s the reason they withdraw when a relationship deepens, it’s the reason they go hot and cold, and it’s pretty much the reason behind almost every relationship issue you’ve ever had. Does this mean all men want to run around and sleep with every female that crosses their path? No. However, they will do whatever they can to hold onto the fact that they can go out and do whatever, whenever, for as long as possible.

Men don’t want to be locked down or shackled to the proverbial ball and chain. The nature of a man is to seek newness; men love to live in a world of unlimited possibilities.

You might be the most wonderful girlfriend in the whole world, but he still won’t abandon his inherent need to be free. The best thing you can possibly do is continue to have a strong sense of self and a life outside the relationship. Don’t rely on him to be the sole center of your universe because the moment he feels that kind of pressure, he’ll run. Once you start pressuring him and demanding to know where he’s been and why he hasn’t called or texted and why he’s being shady or quiet or moody, he will feel like he’s losing his freedom and he’ll withdraw. If you persist and hound him further, he’ll keep withdrawing until he’s nothing more than a distant memory in your life.

If you continue to have your own life and are whole and complete, he won’t be afraid that a relationship with you will mark the end of his days as a free man. And this isn’t just about him –  it’s also for you. It’s extremely important  ... (continued - Click to keep reading 5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Men)

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Ha ha ha ha. I am a male dating a women for the past year and a bit and I just have to comment, all these 5 points about males are all about the female in my relationship, she doesn’t put as much effort into me as she use to, she doesn’t seem to care much if we are talking or not, she goes disappearing without messaging me. I’m at a dead end I have no idea what to do or what I have done wrong?
Women help.

Reply March 23, 2015, 2:12 am


She’s either taking you for granted; or you’ve done something (or NOT done something) that has ticked her off which you’re supposed to work out for yourself, naturally. Maybe you didn’t show the same enthusiasm when she looked in a jewelry store window, or didn’t pick up on the fact she wants to go on a trip. The thing is, though – you’re not going to know conclusively unless you ask her. As a woman I prefer the direct question rather than dancing around on eggshells: it causes way too much stress. Of course, you might not like the answer, but at least you’ll know!

Reply March 23, 2015, 3:48 pm


My bf and I started our relationship in october last year. Before that we phoned each other almost everyday even though we have not met up yet. He lives in a different city. I have to take a plane for 3 hours to get there so it’s kinda hard to arrange for meet up. So for 6 months we had been contacting each other only through phone and we finally met up in oct. We had a great date for 4 days and he already confessed to me. I guess we had a very strong chemistry so I accept him. The day after that I had to go back to my city. At first it was still okay. We skyped almost every nighT. Though we’re in long distance i could still feel his love towards me. He often texts me sweetly (saying he loves and misses me alot) and we talked about our future Of living together. But gradually he became cold and distant. And on our 1st month anniversary he asked for a break. He said he couldnt stand long distance. We both cried during video call Though i dont know why he cried coz im the One who’s supposed to feel sad. The day after i didnt text him. He was the one who initiate it. I only replied with a cold manner. Like a stranger. Suddenly he became like his old self. He said he was lonely and regret everthing for taking me for granted. My heart softened. So our relationship became to get better like how it used to be. 2 months later he became cold againnn.. i said i love u but he never replied love u too. He said hes not sure till we meet again. So i met him this february. We had a date like lovers. (Hugs n kisses). I went back back home. He doesnt become cold now but still feel a little distant. Its still different compared to the time before the break. He is not as sweet as the old times. And hes so busy recently. I said I miss him so much and ask him if he miss me too. He said he does not miss me because he is busy. It hurts so much. Does he really love me or just enjoy my company? Please someone help coz im so confused. Are boys really like that? Coz if not all boys are like that then i would dump him for real. I am so tired of him. It feels like he doesnt try hard enough to keep me.

Reply March 19, 2015, 6:25 am


My ex boyfriend cared about texts, he lived by texting. Our entire communcation was based on texts. When I called, he didn’t answer nor did he call me back. It was a huge problem for me and it helped my decision to finally end it (after a year +). Even after ending things, he sent an apology via text….so annoying! I have never felt so disregarded before with other boyfriends (by means of communication). Am I to assume he just wasn’t that into me, or just immature?

Reply March 18, 2015, 11:02 am



Reply March 10, 2015, 4:00 pm


This article has some good points and some average points. Bottom-line. 5 things girls need to know about Men….. What you need to know is
1. Focus on yourself the relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have and needs to be cultivated for the rest of your life. It’s the one that will last you a life time no matter what don’t abuse you, cheat on you or leave you be your own best friend everything else is secondary. You will find everything you need within yourself.
2. Focus on a higher power, God, angles, Buddha, Allah, whatever that is for you is fine. Turn inward God lives there and or to a higher power for your answers… Do not put your faith, trust, and worth in the worthless people and things that do not know your truth. Your truth does not change with the seasons, fashions, boyfriends, hairstyles it is forever perfect and good. Your truth will sustain you. Do not invest in illusions of curvy or skinny bodies, doing tricks in bed, or thinking something outside of you will get a man! Do not bet your most valuable parts and self – heart, body, mind, spirit, into relationships that may fail you… Find Empowerment within. You are the most important thing you OWN treat yourself as such. You must come first that is the order of life. Nothing is more important than your own happiness. Oddly enough all that you are seeking is within you already. The love, approval, and peace all in you not outside or in his pants. You have to cultivate the relationship with yourself to experience the jewel within, the joy and the empowerment. Stop worrying about boys and what they want and know what you need and want first.
3. No one gives or takes away your worth! You are born with endless deserving, value and worth. You have to pay attention to yourself and have a healthy relationship with yourself to experience it for yourself. He does not take it with him when he breaks up with you or give it to you when you have sex. Please! You are the Goddess you attract you create your life. You have the power.
4. Be Blissed out it’s the only thing you need to be attractive. Your happiness and that you feel good about you is the main ingredient to being alluring.
5. Always get a contract an agreement -everything on the table – clarify both your needs up front before you do anything. Must have your needs met first before you please, move across state, have sex with, agree to engagement, move in with, help, sacrifice yourself in anyway especially with a man/ relationship. Let him show you he can do- has committed, is being consistent, before you move from your Pedestal.

Reply March 10, 2015, 2:06 pm


Wow, I read your entire post. Quite true and re-enforcing : )

Reply March 17, 2015, 8:23 pm


This article has some good points and some average points. Bottom-line. 5 things girls need to know about Men….. What you need to know is
1. Focus on yourself the relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have and needs to be cultivated for the rest of your life. It’s the one that will last you a life time no matter what don’t abuse you, cheat on you or leave you be your own best friend everything else is secondary. You will find everything you need within yourself.
2.Focus on a higher power, God, angles, Buddha, Allah, whatever that is for you is fine. Turn inward God lives there and or to a higher power for your answers… Do not put your faith, trust, and worth in the worthless people and things that do not know your truth. Your truth does not change with the seasons, fashions, boyfriends, hairstyles it is forever perfect and good. Your truth will sustain you. Do not invest in illusions of curvy or skinny bodies, doing tricks in bed, or thinking something outside of you will get a man! Do not bet your most valuable parts and self – heart, body, mind, spirit, into relationships that may fail you… Find Empowerment within. You are the most important thing you OWN treat yourself as such. You must come first that is the order of life. Nothing is more important than your own happiness. Oddly enough all that you are seeking is within you already. The love, approval, and peace all in you not outside or in his pants. You have to cultivate the relationship with yourself to experience the jewel within, the joy and the empowerment. Stop worrying about boys and what they want and know what you need and want first.
3. No one gives or takes away your worth! You are born with endless deserving, value and worth. You have to pay attention to yourself and have a healthy relationship with yourself to experience it for yourself. He does not take it with him when he breaks up with you or give it to you when you have sex. Please! You are the Goddess you attract you create your life. You have the power.
4. Be Blissed out it’s the only thing you need to be attractive. Your happiness and that you feel good about you is the main ingredient to being alluring.
5. Always get a contract an agreement -everything on the table – clarify both your needs up front before you do anything. Must have your needs met first before you please, move across state, have sex with, agree to engagement, move in with, help, sacrifice yourself in anyway especially with a man/ relationship. Let him show you he can do- has committed, is being consistent, before you move from your Pedestal.

Reply March 10, 2015, 2:05 pm


I think you might be a genius

Reply March 8, 2015, 8:15 pm


Literally all of this is trash. Who ever wrote this is literally giving the worst advice ever.

Reply March 4, 2015, 8:49 pm


Non of this is true about men.

Not one word.

We care about the relationship more then women , we know from time and ecperience if you dare show your feelings emtionally evolved women…. Bullshit … Mature women bullshit will spit you out in five seconds flat.. Thats a sad truth. If you show your hand your done. She owns your nuts and will utimately shit on you for not beingva man. In the end thank feminism for fucking up the world. It be tough to hear but its the case. If we seem needy youll never be with a man. Us opening up is some needy shit women ask for but couldnt handle the shit we burry inside. If men support one another you take it away from us. Do you think guy time is just about chasing women around. Women listen to other women about men … Right go idea. And women lie about other men. I mean our heads are so twisted, what women want.. Or they say they want.. The love and emtion woukd send your thongs up your ass. So honestly take it for what its worth were are totally fucked up. But what choice do we have. Anything that is manly is bad. Boxing , football. Just a good looking giy may fall in love with maybe to other women a less attractive women. And other women just stare at you. You think youve had it hard. Females sexualy harrash men like meat. Yeah we love fucking but it gets old be treated like shit for what your golden vagina. Good luck.if we are confident and get secure you go ape shit. Its insane. Truth is we are the same . Neither of us is honest and true. We all have dark fucked up secrets and fantasys we all liveba list of likes and thumbs up and instagram and trends. We are all sherp trying to figure out what happened. We all listen to the crowd instead of grabbing our nuts and ovaries and yell our friends and familys to fuck off. We like that shes slutty or motherly or hes ripped or you like your hair pulled. Who fucking cares.we play the roles no matter how much men lose or women gain you kill the family unit the man the kids and by extention yourself. We need each other its a sick animalistic joke. We are all afraid of what someone else will say or that we dont match up with the goals of basically big business. What happened to being rich or poor and just loving that crazy bitch or dickhead. Seriosly most men just want a women to love him deeply like he does her and afraid to show you because here comes the chevklist. Big cock check not as big as that one drunking nught in college but , I can wear heels yay and hes rich yay , and im going to plump up and make babies. I guy version. I wont tell my boys but she makes me feel whole inside and she hates that her butts getting bigger but I love it. Or when your prego and feel like shit if you werent bat shit crazy about feeling unattractive you would be open like 711 men and women are animals. Stop listening to other women about men , stop telling your gfs stupid shit you dont mean , do you think you actually grew up faster and are more emotionally evolved because thats a crock of shit. Youll play with 20 mens heads. One hot guy blows your doors off and because he learned to do what women do and have options which is what scumbag men use to do and now. Youll sit aroynd and cluck till youve totally fucked up the whole world ! Jesus fucking christ. You wonder why we said fuck marriage , will split custody or just make me a baby and im good raising him or her myself.. News flash you are now a weak beta omega version of douche bag men … And have become as stupid as you claimed us to be long ago. I literally read a comment we have brains the size of peas.. Funny what you seek the most is inside of that man burried because of this.. We dint need instagram and if your man has you should think about that. We dont need baby books and pictures and ten thousand people to be there. Because its you and our babies for the few good alphas that said fuck I raise my child and bang on the werkend that make us happy we were there we know how awesome it was. We live in the moment with you while your off in neverland… Total foodie gf yeah ! Ill ten mins to text him back. Seriously when you look at the dismal pool of men look in the murror because babies dont come out of a dick and dads and men homestly stopped caring, you compete with another women. So honestly im going to catch hell for this. Emtionally even the most Alpha rich big swunging dick male has traded emtions with you… Your fucking welcome you ungreatful idiots !

Reply March 1, 2015, 2:29 am


Feel better now that you got all that out Evan. I know i feel better having read it. lol

Reply March 2, 2015, 7:02 pm


You came fully loaded Evan. Pretty insightful from a mans perspective.
We have a drink sometime! LOL

Reply March 17, 2015, 8:29 pm


Love the rawness of your comments. Nothing is more attractive then telling it like it is.

Reply March 24, 2015, 1:12 pm


I still don’t understand. I like this guy so much and I’m sure he likes me just as much. He has not asked me to be his girlfriend yet and it has been almost 4 months. We hook up like 3 times a week. He has met some of my family and friends. He use to text me back all the time and I would not text him that often because I did not want him to feel like I was blowing up his phone, But like I said he was really good about texting me back or he was always the one to text first. But things are starting to get to the point where he doesn’t text me back at all. I am starting to get worried that maybe he is not into me anymore and I don’t know what to do or even how to feel about this. Should I leave him alone and just wait for him to text me? Or should I ask him if he is ok? I know I am not his girlfriend but he tells me he loves me. I am so confused.

Reply February 19, 2015, 7:10 pm


you hook up three times a week! why buy the cow when your giving the milk for free? your his weekly sex ticket you screwed up it will never work now so move one and next time get a cometment before you sleep with a guy……..what are your pathetic mothers teaching you for gods sake, NO MAN respects a women who sleeps with him before a commitment period!

Reply March 4, 2015, 9:16 am


My bf of a yr. and I live an hr away from each other.. He has expressed concern of the distance repeatedly.. And now has told me due to me actually saying I Will move out to you, if it’s with you.. His response was we are not there yet.. But, yet says he wants me to move to him but in my own place.. And if I don’t move to him that it will only end up the end of us.. I’m willing to move to him and even my own place, but my issue is why?? If you want me to live by you, why not with you??

Reply February 19, 2015, 12:18 pm


Interesting…. He say you are not there yet. Where is there to the place he is clear he wants to sleep with someone else or there he wants to dump you. Look my dear you have to have everything you want in a relationship before you go moving anywhere. He is not sounding secure,and stable in this committment yet. Have you talked engagement yet, seeing you as a lifelong partner yet? Have you met all the important people to him and he your people. Are you feeling that he is in love with you, and you him willing to give you the level of a committment you desire? And what is up with if you dont move there it will be the end of you. Really well I hope you are moving for more then just him cause he sounds like this is a fun test for him. I would not move unless and untill he puts a ring on it or you have more reasons then him to move. Dont ever move in with someone with out a sold agreement of what are your terms. What you want for this move. Dont let him tell you how your life is gonna go you do have some say you are the prize here. Dont rearrange your life for someone that is not 100 % sure you are what he wants you deserve a stable clear headed partner that can give you want you want. Be empowered, be fem! You have your own life to manage let him him come to you. You are the sure one in this not him… Let him sell you on why you should move there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply March 10, 2015, 1:12 pm

Natasha chaudhary

My boyfriend is very good and looking handsome. But he is very tough personality. When we fight together he’s being so rude after fight he said he is very happy when he was single and he wants leave him alone. After few days he’s normal and talk to me very soften words and romantic mood. In every fight he makes me that I am wrong. And then he treated me like nothing for him. And when I am trying to call him or msg he treats very rudely. I feel like, I have no self respect. Sometimes I thought that broke up this relationship but I have no dare to do this i love him so much. Mainly we fight on this issue that he has no time for me. When we meet and discuss on this issue, he told me that in anger he forget all the feelings and he hates those person who fight with him. I don’t know how to explain my feelings please help me to solve this issue. I love him so much, and he knows that. He also love me. But those time is very typical when we fight and he’s being very rude. Please tell me what should I do :(

Reply February 18, 2015, 5:28 am


Dump him! hes got issues with having a real relationship……dump him and if he wises up then hes a keeper if not then he is not ready for what you want!

Reply March 4, 2015, 9:19 am


It does not matter if you dump or not If you dont work on the relationship with yourself you will only attract another looser like him. You must get your self esteem as high as you possibly can! pay attention to yourself, and love yourself know you deserve the best from all relationships! Your answer will be so clear once you work on focusing on yourself. What you want in a career, education, health, spiritual life, financial, friends, what you want and what you are willing to do to have it. Focus on the type of relationship you want how you want to be treated and FEEL…. Ia m sure this is not how you want to be treated or feel so why put up with it. You dont have to be in a relationship. Get you right and a good person will match. the committment is to yourself not this fool!

Reply March 10, 2015, 1:20 pm


This is the best article I’ve read in a long time. Well written and informative. Thank you! I feel a lot better about my love life as an independent woman and I am happy to have read such a great work of art. So many great points!!!

Reply February 11, 2015, 2:43 am


Number 4 is oh so true!
My boyfriend was acting weird, he disappeared in the middle of a conversation (texts), cancel dates sometimes, he was kind of blaming me saying “I’m not sure you’re the serious type for a relationship” until one day I got so tired of his bs and I told him via phone that I was tired of it and that if he wasn’t to put any effort, on to the next.
He lives 2 hours and a half away from me, he came to my door almost begging for me to come back, he was ready this time to be in a relationship and that he was sorry. He was so afraid of losing me cause I was practically breaking up with him that he drove 2 hours and a half to apologize and be in a serious relationship with me. It surprised me completely and I’m not saying you should complain to him about everything cause that wasn’t my case at all. I was just saying the truth and not even in a violent way, I explained why I didn’t want to be with him cause I wasn’t liking how I felt at that moment of the relationship.

So yeah, men will get over his baggage if he thinks he’s going to lose you.


Reply February 4, 2015, 7:16 pm


I text my bf goodmorning 3 days ago.. then later that night i called. ..no answer. . im debating if i should try again?… r wait it out. ..

Reply January 26, 2015, 10:06 pm


Definetely stop and wait for a reply! You’ve already reached out plenty. Let him chase.

Reply January 28, 2015, 5:10 pm


got into a little fight with my boyfriend i texted him and said hi he never responded what do i do

Reply January 10, 2015, 1:38 am


While this article is on point with our differences and why they occur, it’s solution is the same of every other article written on the subject: “Men are this way and won’t change, so you need to change by not caring about your own needs to make it work.”

For once I’d like to see an article with the solution that men should be more considerate of women by showing their feelings, being willing to talk about problems, and recognize women need a lot more love and attention to feel wanted by their spouce, then giving them that love and attention. Although this is the exact way articles are normally written, but for males gain, try posting stuff like this and watch all of the men who would fear a world ruled by changing for women freak out. Redirected name calling, bullying, bashing, and out right unfocused anger because they have no logical reason to be upset.

But I’m just asking for equality. Stop with the pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen jokes and I’d gladly stand on the front line and take a bullet for my country.

Reply January 5, 2015, 2:27 pm


I completely agree, why do women have to change in order to please a guy? IMO if he’s not giving you the attention and respect that you deserve then eff’em. I just don’t understand how women are considered too sensitive when this article makes it sound like you have to walk on eggshells for guys so that they don’t flee from commitment. Sounds pathetic if you ask me, if you’re into me then show it, if you’re not then eff off.

Reply February 2, 2015, 2:01 pm


This is a website to women, Eric Charles actually has a relationship advice job for men too :)

Reply February 4, 2015, 7:18 pm


I agree with you, and this article puts men like the girl frien should learned how to live around him but knowing “the things she has to do to not upset him”. Is terrible that people actully think this is how is should be, and i even worse that they publish this stupid things.

Reply February 8, 2015, 5:25 pm


Why do I put up with someone who clearly only wants me for a booth call someone who I only see when he wants to see me that I am not happy with stayed faithful to for 21/2 years weather or not he has doesn’t matter I don’t ask question I don’t ask for much at all. I know I am attractive I know I am a good women but I can’t seem to let go when were together it’s great but the next day he’s as cold as ice and I don’t see him for another 2 or 3 months he has kids that live with him I know he works hard but I also know I deserve to be treated better why oh why can’t I walk away

Reply January 4, 2015, 10:15 am


i need help with my relationship. seems like its over as i found texts from woman on his phone. he said i dont trust him and assured me shes a friend. we had a chat and said we wd speak on sunday. which is today. i have text couple of times but hes ignoring me. im feeling like i dont want to contact him. shall i just wait for him to get in touch. feels wrong. x

Reply January 4, 2015, 6:50 am


This article is nowhere near true. Should get the facts right.

Reply December 25, 2014, 3:12 pm


#3 – I disagree. Men are in relationships for themselves. They want something from the other one. THEY– want to be wooed. I DID NOT do much in one relationship because I wanted to test the waters to see if he would give FIRST. The relationship went NO — WHERE. I expected romance. Maybe a candle-lite homemade meal or a romantic happy-hour at his place. You get it, something simple. NEVER happened with several. When I got divorced I realized the ex and many others liked to be wooed — I NEVER got wooed. I gave an gave and really got very little in return — actually nothing. I would visit him after work (10pm) there was never any snacks or hot chocolate, no hot tea waiting for me, especially in winter! No ice tea or lemonade in summer, either. I don’t woo anymore. They have to woo me — first.

Reply December 22, 2014, 2:14 pm


In all seriousness, this is a good article. I am a guy and I just wanted to see what this was about, and she hit the nail on the head. NOW, all we need is a female version of this so I can feel better

Reply December 16, 2014, 11:16 am

Dasha R.

What if your boyfriend used to spank you, but doesn’t anymore?

Does this mean he’s found another booty?

Reply December 14, 2014, 1:51 pm


no it means he is starting to respect you like a women who could have his children……its normal as a man starts to get attached he doesnt want a porno girl anymore but a Women in thr bedroom or at least thats what i hear.

Reply March 4, 2015, 9:25 am

Real man

All women are good for is to be impregnated and then kill them off after they give birth. They are filthy sub-creatures.

Most of the guys agree with me, gimme a high five!

Reply December 12, 2014, 1:09 pm


So true man…. I beat this broad up recently, she cried so much hahaha!

Women, if you dare mess with me, I’ll break your necks – I lift 50kg at the gym and they better be scared.

Reply December 12, 2014, 1:12 pm


Can someone say jaded loser napolian syndrome. Probably drive a big oversized truck too because we know men with super small packages talk this hateful.

Reply February 25, 2015, 12:46 am


Ya, I agree. If you’re in class with “them” all they talk about are — babies! The only current events that they are interested in if it’s about — babies! If you work in a job that employs mostly women, they only open their mouths to talk about — babies! They only bond with other women that have — babies! They don’t acknowledge single women! Another takes over their work when they leave to have a — baby. When they come back from having a baby, they special hours but nobody else is told so when the business phone calls come in you’re not told when they would be in OR out! They’re a lot of trouble during and after a pregnancy in the workplace. As far as school, they only return to show everyone the — baby and then drop out!

Reply December 12, 2014, 2:40 pm


I’m a female and I give you a — HIGH FIVE. I wish there was an island to discard them and leave them there to ENJOY their live with kids! In the mall, they’re in the way with their wide strollers, they dump the diapers in a store INSTEAD of the mall trash cans, Their greedy and lazy when shopping! This new generation, doesn’t teach social manners to their kids. Their kids belong at — home, not out in public. Their raising whinny brats. Since they don’t know how to conduct themselves in public then I don’t think they’re very equipped with raising kids into adults!! They only care about themselves in a workplace or school setting.
KTAR stated the NUBMER 1 secret men have: they’re afraid they will be forgotten, the kids will take over and they will NEVER get their wife back! At this age, I understand why men cheat! It’s a fact, a man loses his wife especially if there was NO friendship to begin with and most women don’t know how to have a friendship with a man. A women delivered coffee to this office that I worked at, she was shocked that when the kids left to college, there was no relationship with her husband — he left too.

Reply December 12, 2014, 2:55 pm


Wow you three have issues. Do you write just to stir the shit? I cannot believe you three think like this.

Reply December 16, 2014, 11:04 pm


You can’t handle the truth?

Reply December 18, 2014, 2:01 am


I smell ugly filthy TROLLS.

Reply January 10, 2015, 10:32 pm


I’m with Victoria , truth is always good, just amazing how you all think( sad), don’t forget you all have mothers and.. hold on .. wait for it…. they are women…..
shocking I know.

Reply January 20, 2015, 11:18 am


Those brainless idiots made me laugh. I do feel for them though, hopefully they’ll come to their senses. Poor creatures.

January 27, 2015, 9:29 pm

Johanna Lloyd

he says hes in love with me bt always on tango or fb texting girls j just don’t gt it he’s very pleased with me in bed and he’s alwSys horney hummmmm ?????

Reply December 9, 2014, 12:24 am


Look. This is really simple:

ALL MEN ARE WORTHLESS DICKS. They only exist to hurt women, to use us, and to discard us when they are done.

That’s all any of us need to know about them.

Reply December 4, 2014, 10:02 pm


And you’re a worthless feminist inflicting poison on everyone. I’ve known plenty of women who have been nothing but predators on the take trying to clean out a man of his possessions and self worth. No gender has a monopoly on inflicting damage.

Reply December 10, 2014, 1:28 pm


Travis, what the heck des feminism have to do with her views? Grow up you idiot.

Reply December 12, 2014, 1:03 pm


Travis, what the heck does feminism have to do with her views? Grow up you idiot.

I’m sorry at, we guys can really screw up sometimes, but we are not all bad nor jerks like Travis.

Reply December 12, 2014, 1:03 pm


God help us all

Reply January 6, 2015, 11:36 pm


haha love this comment bobby!

Reply January 27, 2015, 9:32 pm

Sam Rikart

I’ve read so many of your articles. It doesn’t matter that I’m a guy. Just like I read stuff written for men I also read stuff written for women. I’ always interested in learning new things, or in seeing how the other half thinks. The problem is that almost all of your articles don’t really tell me anything useful – they’re all just written to hook me on reading more until you try to sell me another book. So far I’ve learned almost nothing from your website just as I learn nothing from similar self-help websites that cater to men. You’re all just a waste of time. Often, the book itself has practical suggestions, but always at an exorbitant price and always nothing really new that can’t be found lots of other places for nothing. What a waste of time.


Reply November 27, 2014, 5:14 pm


After reading this, i feel so at ease. I really hope this is true.

Reply November 27, 2014, 8:44 am



if ur bb doesnt luv u then leev him. spune will be bad.

Reply November 30, 2014, 2:43 pm

A guy

This is not true.

Reply November 26, 2014, 12:16 am


What do you mean not true? Care to elaborate?

Reply November 27, 2014, 8:38 am


Thank you! This article chilled me out.

I recently moved one state over and a guy I used to work with said he always liked me and we’ve been talking a lot. We went on a date and it was awesome. Now he’s talking about coming to see me. When this first started he was texting nonstop and now it’s less but he still checks in, likes my stuff on FB and Instagram and is making plans to visit in a week. So I need to quit overthinking everything and just calm down.

It’s just hard not to have control!

Reply November 25, 2014, 4:12 pm


Question. Isn’t there a limit as to giving the man freedom? I was taking to a male and female co-worker one day during our break. The guy said that a woman had the right to be a “bitch” to a guy from time to time and not just give him a clear walkway. I didn’t understand what he meant though. From personal experience, I dated this one guy and I was the ideal girlfriend I guess you could say. We spent about a year together I never had any doubts, I trusted him completely, and I felt that we completely loved each other. Turns out he had cheated on me about five months into our relationship and I was completely oblivious to it. I actually found out through one of my friends. I confronted my now ex and told me it was true. I gave him freedom, so I don’t understand what happened. This is why.I need some clarification as to what my male co-worker said.

Reply November 10, 2014, 10:58 pm


Spot on – especially the texting and freedom part. I’m a 28-year-old self-sufficient male. I travel wherever I want, whenever I want, I make all of my money online as a full-time writer, and I don’t have a boss. My freedom is the most important thing in my entire life along with my solitude. I have frequent short-term sexual relationships, but it inevitably all turns up the same. Doesn’t matter if I’m in Brazil or Thailand, whether I’m dating a local or an expat, there is always the same old song and dance about texting. I hate texting. I think it’s pointless. I get a text from my best male friends and I go days without answering, and most of the time I just never answer. Unless we’re planning something, meaning I’ll meet you in an hour at X location, there is no need to text. Whenever women I’m with start to pull this stunt, I immediately leave them.

I have a very specific set of ideals. If a woman is not able to give me space, it signals to me that she has no life. Because my work (my writing), my freedom, and my solitude (when I desire it) are the three most important, most fulfilling aspects of my life, I expect any woman I’m with to have goals for herself as well. When a woman begins getting hung up about every little text and phone call and what the tone of my voice means, then I know emphatically that she is weak, that she has no life, that she has no goals. I believe that no one can possibly over-think that much about mundane shit unless they simply don’t have anything going on in their own life. I mean really – who has the time to think about all that and obsess over it if they have actual goals they’re trying to accomplish in life? S

That’s why I see that as a warning sign. I don’t try after that – I just leave. I hope one day I find a woman who is strong, stable, and independent – doesn’t NEED me around and is able to meet me in the middle to enjoy the quality time we have together, not the superficial time she tries to create to provide herself with some kind of false sense of validation. If you can’t feel validated when no one is around – when you’re all alone, by yourself, and your friends are a thousand miles away – then you won’t ever feel satisfied no matter how much attention a man gives you or how much you whine about how he needs to hold your hand more, send you more flowers, and respond to your texts seconds after you send them.

However, I doubt that will ever happen. Because I’m so comfortable being alone and because I find my validation in work rather than relationships, this has never bothered me. But, still, I’m always curious to see if there are women out there who are strong and stable who don’t latch onto the bullshit in life (oh he didn’t text me on time!).

We shall see.

Reply November 29, 2014, 10:22 pm


Very interesting that you are comfortable with being alone yet you are on a website about relationships and dating. I think when you meet the one, whatever that exactly is for you, you might have a change in ideals. Not sure what you consider bullshit that us women are hanging onto but if you want a woman that’s like you and doesn’t need you around then why bother being in a relationship since you don’t need each other.

Reply December 16, 2014, 10:37 pm


I think it is more about WANTING someone rather than needing them. It is healthier to be in relationship because you want to be not need to be.

Reply December 21, 2014, 4:44 pm

Stephanie Elizabeth

I am sure that if you traveled the whole world, you will find someone who is not only a renaissance girl, but someone who inspires you. If a person knows you hate texting, they should find a creative way to let you know they’re thinking of you. I write letters-scented! I remember sending one out to an old childhood friend of mine and having her say “I got nothing but bills in the mail, along with your letter Stephanie.” I guess my ways are antiquated. I’m writing a story too for my childhood sweetheart and love, a book of coincidences that brought me back to him, which takes time too. I’ve been writing it now for the past two years, so that, along with my regular teaching job and all the other things I have added to my bucket list, is a great deal of work, but little by little I’m doing it. It’s a notebook about our life growing up in our neighborhood and the things that happened that led me back to him, my best friend and love, my lebenslanger schichsalhaus and my past, my present, and my future. And when he holds me in his arms, there is no place I’d rather be. Relationships are important. I have seen what can happen to a person who has no real friends. Don’t be that person.
A girl who inspires you will always be different, not only because of what makes her unique, but also for her sense of comfort with herself. Most girls I have met are concerned about mundane things, such as texting or cup sizes. There are girls out there who are passionate about what they do, like me, and you should be a part of their life, not their whole life as you said. I hope you find the girl who makes you feel inspired, and that even if you tried to, you wouldn’t want to be without. It may take a long time to find her, but when you do, you’ll be “home” with them. That’s how I feel when I am with my soulmate, and it is very rough, because he runs hot and cold and gives me so much and then withdraws, but I couldn’t imagine a life without him, and I will write about him and talk about him until the day I die. I hope you find your destiny. And when you do, don’t run away from it, as mine does sometimes. I hope you find your best friend and love, for that in my opinion is the best kind of relationship. Mine told me he traveled all over the world while serving our country, and all he had to do was go around the corner, and there I was. I hope you find the love of your life worth going to the stars and moon for.
Love Stephanie
p.s. Don’t ever get married, unless that person is your best friend and love, and that even if you tried to, you wouldn’t want to live without. Just my opinion :)

Reply December 30, 2014, 12:18 am


You come off as very arrogant, selfish and immature. Real strong, stable and independent women will not want men like you. Why? Because you don’t understand real women. You project your own thoughts onto women and disrespect them without trying to understand. The irony here is the fact that you diss women because they lack self esteem and “need” you for validation but apparently you have so much self esteem that you come to a site like this to validation your own.

Well let me tell you: real women want men who are responsible, mature and can handle their own weight in a relationship. They want a man – someone with strength as great as theirs, and not a boy – someone who just does as he pleases.

With your standards, you will only find someone like you instead: an arrogant, selfish and immature female version of yourself.

Reply January 3, 2015, 11:16 pm


As a person yearning and reaching to be a wondering writer such as yourself, I agree and understand that having the ability to go anywhere, anytime and do anything is important. As a person, not just a woman, however, who also knows what it’s like to truly be in love, I have to comment that you seem to know what you want, but not how to get it. Classifying every woman as needy and controlling is not fair since their actions stem from your same need, to feel secure in something, not that you were grouping all women. The majority of women, even today, are taught to let the man provide, be strong, and take care of them, which makes us think when you choose not to spend time with us that you don’t want to provide, thus find us not only unattractive, but unwanted. The need to feel safe is not met, we lash out in fear, and you are driven further away by your clostrophobic fears. It’s a vicious cycle that is only broken if you find a woman who you can teach you love regardless of distance, and proving you will provide completely and solely to her. You get your distance, she gets support. Even better is if you find a woman like yourself who strives for your same goals and dreams and won’t hold you back, but you find so captivating and completing to your own personality that you form an unstoppable team without questions of trust, dependability, and freedom. Then you travel the world experiencing everything with a mind as adventurous and cunning as your own, and nothing feels better than that.

Reply January 5, 2015, 3:00 pm


lol.. that was the best piece of advice I’ve ever heard about men. I’ve bought books, watched hours and hours of videos… read heaps of articles. And never quite got it. I have been told to play head games, mirror their image. That all sounded like too much work. Who wants to make keeping a boyfriend your full time job. Honestlyl.

Your article just tells it like it is. No scamming with a build up to make you buy a book. You spoke in lamens terms, and it made me giggle, and smile, and look at my man in a whole new light. I’m going to try it, and I think me and my baby will be just fine now.

Thanks for that love,

You’re the best!!!

Reply October 31, 2014, 2:34 am


What a fucked up and sexist article. None of the things on this list summarize an entire gender. Readers, please don’t believe this.

Reply October 29, 2014, 5:20 pm


sometiems u hav to let ur man be himself. u can always spawn next season

Reply November 30, 2014, 2:34 pm


The relationship I am currently in is the exact opposite of your article.

Reply October 27, 2014, 7:19 pm


helo frands, i tink sometiems its okay to admit u dont have an gf. sure, it kinda makes u an lameo but that’s o k.

call meh xoxo bean

Reply November 30, 2014, 2:35 pm


I have recently split up with my ex..he did wrongvin the relationship..yet he seems to keep changing his status so I see..one he put was he loved so much to loose so little not sure wot he means by this can u help me out thanx

Reply October 25, 2014, 8:41 am


This article was really helpful. Especially the part about withdrawal. It’s true. Freedom is the most important thing, and once he feels compromised and obligated and/or tied down, he’s going to feel pressured and run away. Thanks for your help..

Reply October 23, 2014, 10:23 am


Answer this my man left me after 2 years because I would not go out and sleep with other men. I’m at a loss.

Reply October 21, 2014, 8:42 am


If he really love you, he wouldn’t want you to sleep with other men. You deserve a better man than him.

Sorry for my english,it’s not my first language.

Reply October 22, 2014, 11:08 am


What if all the no-no that you have mentioned above is done by the guy instead? Like being very demanding, asking why am I moody and this and that, where have I been, why didn’t I reply INSTANTLY anymore like I used to, making me feel pressured that he can’t live without me in his life etc. How do I deal with it? I did tell him a few times that it’s sometimes kind of annoying, but he says he gets it and goes back to doing it. And I feel I’ll will burst if I have to repeat it again.

Reply October 14, 2014, 4:23 pm


That’s what most guys are like hun. Sorry.

Reply December 12, 2014, 1:05 pm


The problem with most people nowadays is that they really on stereotypes, and frankly you’re used to live by those stereotypes!.This is stupid, and I don’t think people will ever change, if they ever relay on the media or their parents to guide their hands.Wrong, wrong, wrong personally I think everyone should visit a therapist, if they are having relationship issues what’s the point in doing the same thing over and over again!.

Reply October 11, 2014, 2:57 pm


Well my experience…

My ex-husband was very kind at first , somewhere along the line he became a devil, my new boyfriend is acting like a robot being over nice ,promising me marriage , saying he wants twelve.. as soon as I told his brother this on phone, he replied his brother telling him I was hallucinating wtf!!! .. and telling me it was just a joke ??? Like seriously and what help ed me not to fall for this was experience and relationship advice. Now he wants twelve babies out of wedlock, I told him you use Condoms and everyone is happy , cos I will never be pregnant for a stranger, when the fun is over we all go our separate ways without baggages. I am sorry for any girl that falls for such guys. My gynecologist had an affair with me for three years (said we should move in together) I didn’t believe him though and will never move in with a guy just because we are ,or he is super rich or whatever. So he broke up. ,but I think it’s good riddance. I am so heartbroken but I work on myself and that gives me my joy and happiness.. I don’t give a damn about what men want …

Reply October 8, 2014, 12:30 pm


I didn’t believe him though and will never move in with a guy just because we are ,or he is super rich or whatever. So he broke up. ,but I think it’s good riddance. I am so heartbroken but I work on myself and that gives me my joy and happiness.. I don’t give a damn about what men want …

LOL, LOLer, Lolest.
Hahahahahha. You said you don’t give a damn about what men want, but you come here ranting about men? It shows you were really pained and gave real fuck about men and still do.
I don’t have pity on any person who has bitter baggage and still hates men. You divorced his fellow man (your ex-husband) and took half of his wealth and still ongoing his paycheck monthly (according to law) and you think that the 2nd guy should not be wary of you and fear for his own wealth ( obviously you care about this gynacologist wealth because you mentioned it. This gynecologist is right to want you to move in with you without signing any paper until he is very sure you are not just about to rip him off. He has to take as much time as he feels right. 5 years? 10? 15? doesn’t really matter.

Atimes I wish all men should stop marrying single mums and divorced women. Their failed relationship is a proof of their unsuitability for marriage business. And these kind of women are always men hating, men killing , men nagging, men shaming feminists.

I know some guys will still go ahead and remarry these idiots. So unfortunate

Reply October 15, 2014, 11:28 am


“Atimes I wish all men should stop marrying single mums and divorced women. Their failed relationship is a proof of their unsuitability for marriage business. And these kind of women are always men hating, men killing , men nagging, men shaming feminists. I know some guys will still go ahead and remarry these idiots. So unfortunate”

Reply December 12, 2014, 3:03 pm


I am a single mom and my failed relationship was due to him cheating while I was at he with our 5 week old baby..he said he needed some because I wasn’t giving it up…..I still wasn’t able to have sex because having a baby hurts. I am not an idiot, I don’t see all men as the same. We are all different with different happenings in life. I would be an amazing wife, I am very independent and take care of my own, I don’t need a man I want a man to share this amazing ride with .

So please don’t generalize I understand that most are just needy females that can’t settle down and accept shit for what it is, but I am not her and nor will I ever be.

Reply January 2, 2015, 8:48 am

Shawn D.

Texting is significant to me because I’m hearing impaired. Every guy I’ve dated understands that I can’t talk on the phone. So texting is my primary mode of communication. Not sure how all this advice helps me, because basically, if he stops texting, he’s stopped communicating/contacting me, period. It doesn’t take much to just text, “Just saying hey, busy for a bit, but talk to you later,” especially when dealing with someone like me.

In my case, not texting boils down to lack of consideration and non-interest.

Other opinions?

Reply August 29, 2014, 3:27 pm


Total agreement

Reply February 18, 2015, 6:41 pm


I really liked this article. Very helpful. With regards to the texting I have some questions though. I’ve been on three dates with a guy. And we’ve been talking for about a month. He is awesome in person but makes very little effort over texts. Yeah he never ignores my texts and he shows interest when I ask him out. But nothing more. Very passive effort. Is it too soon for this kind of behavior? I mean shouldn’t he be trying to give me attention and show he likes me? Or should I only pick up on what he’s showing in person since what you’re saying is texting isn’t that big a deal? Due to his busy schedule we only have dates once every week or week and a half so it kinda makes me question if he’s interested if we aren’t really talking during that time between dates?

Reply August 27, 2014, 1:38 pm


I have been with someone for almost 2 months we hit it off great however we may have moved too quick I stayed over a lot talked everyday met his family he met mine & he just recently made the decision he doesn’t want to be in a relationship I was crushed I fought to save our relationship but it just made it worse. Everyone says just give him time but how do I know he won’t miss me or he will just forget me like I don’t exist? I’m sure I screwed up but how do I deal with this guilt & not knowing what went wrong. He claims I did nothing wrong that I am a great girl but it’s just want he wants.

Reply August 20, 2014, 2:36 pm


Babe he him some time. He will likely miss you if you play your game right.
You have to act like you don’t care but in a good way.
Now this is the game plan:
Each time he calls you or texts you, act really happy and excited. Do this even when you guys cross paths. But it doesn’t end there, another thing you have to do is to act really busy immediately and promise to call him/text/meet him back once you are through.
All these should happen within 30 seconds. And you leave.

FYI I am a man and what this does is to make him doubt his influence on you yet without feeling unwanted nor insulted/degraded. You will see him rush immediately and he wil even forget he needed time off completely.

This kind of thing always works 100% on me and ALL MEN EVERYWHERE ,ALL RACE ( I Know this is bold )

Reply October 15, 2014, 11:44 am


eix I dnt lyk tht part

Reply October 30, 2014, 8:10 am

Anna Khan

Really good..
I have a question a guy hates me little,he doesn’t talk to me…what should I do?I text him but he reply after some days…plz plz plz tell me what to do?

Reply August 16, 2014, 8:23 am


If a guy doesn’t like you there’s nothing you can do. What I would recommend is to DELETE his number and meet other guys.

Reply August 17, 2014, 3:33 am


I think these articles are very informative & it’s really helpful to know how men think. Having said that, am I the only one who thinks it’s annoying that women are told to accept that men freak out and get over it? Why don’t the men get over it? They’re the ones creating a problem. When they play Prince Charming early in the relationship, they should be a little more understanding that women are going to have hurt feelings when they stop this behavior out of the blue, without explanation. It doesn’t mean we are needy. It means we’ve taken men at their word and believed them to be sincere. Ladies, don’t fall for these men who sweep you off of your feet. There are plenty of men who are sincere and let the relationship progress at a healthy pace, thereby avoiding the freak out mode. Men who pour it on thick in the beginning, only to call you needy when you return the gestures are not good men to be with.
If they do this, just move on. The more we give into this behavior, the more it becomes accepted.

Reply August 15, 2014, 8:33 pm


Thank you

Reply August 12, 2014, 5:24 pm


good job! i like reading all your articles.

Reply August 6, 2014, 9:44 am


Thank u sooo much for this article! It was really helpful for me and explained a lot of things that I was previously confused about.

Reply August 3, 2014, 2:38 am

Ramona Rose

This is such a great read! Thank you for writing it, it’s liberating, empowering and real.

I have a question: do you agree that making plans in a relationship, is a given? That is, that a man will automatically make plans to see you and he will WANT to make plans?
Or does the idea of making plans for men equal losing their freedom? And therefore it is something to avoid, even when they commit to you? Can you puts things straight for me please.

The reason I’m asking is that when this guy wanted to make things official with me, he still didn’t want to make plans. He absolutely hates making plans, and that’s a big part of why he likes being single, that he doesn’t have to plan. It’s obviously something he sees as entrapment. He just doesn’t like to make plans. Even when we were talking about spending some time together one weekend, he wasn’t that fussed and the day before I was going to come up to see him, he just said ‘I don’t know what the guys are doing’.

Reply July 25, 2014, 6:51 am


Whoa, girl, that guy is bad news. If a guy likes you he will make plans with you no matter what ‘the guys are doing.’ A mature adult can schedule friendships and a relationship and this guy is blowing you off/treating you like his backup plan. Delete his number.

Reply October 1, 2014, 9:10 pm


You said one time in a comment that, Men only invest in a relationship (but I forgot the res tof the comment). Can you refresh me? Thanks

Reply July 23, 2014, 10:37 am

Gita kukreja

I dont know how to ask a question

But i am in problem , i am engaged girl its 2 months ago but i know he is not at all interested in me from starting we dont have love relation it is arrange marriage i dont thing so he ever fall in love with me

I cant break this engagement coz of family but i really want solution please highlight some solutions i am subscribed to nem mode also

He is not in love with me but he is not behaving anything bad with me his behaviour is good with me but he doesnt love me

I need help please

Reply July 9, 2014, 12:58 pm


Hi Gita,
I feel for you, actually I dont believe in love but I also DO NOT believe in forced marriage, every individual has the right to chose who to marry or choose to stay single if they wish. Have you spoken to your parents or to the guy about how you feel?

Reply July 10, 2014, 2:01 am

Gita kukreja

Hello Helen,
My parents have very simple living and thinking so they suggested to continue.
Yes i talk with my fiyancee i said indirectly also and directly also that u dont like me but he is saying it is nothing like that .
Most important thing is it is not that i am unhappy it is just that i am not happy i am a kind of girl i will not fall in love until n unless my fiyancee will fall in love with me thats the problem if there are any chances that he will fall in love with me i will become happy
One important thing is he is totally mam’s boy now everyone say every guy is mam’s boy but no no no he is very much listening to his mother n sister i dont know how to manage. But it doesnt mean he is not listening to me but only 10%
Is there any way that he will fall in love with me please please please help

Reply July 10, 2014, 3:52 am


Dear Gita,
Your problem seems to be the traditions of your culture. Like you, your fiance is obeying his parent’s by marrying. I dont know how you can make someone “fall in love”. You can either choose to go ahead with the marriage and risk a life of no love but with the possibility of peaceful co existence OR tell your parents you do not want to go ahead with the marriage. From what you wrote it sounds like you have some feelings for the guy.

Reply July 10, 2014, 6:35 am


simple solution! Be INTERESTING TO HIM. A song says, “do the things he likes to do. Wear your hear for him.” If a person likes you then there can be love. When my marriage was falling apart, I loved him but didn’t like him. I dreaded him coming home from work. I got a new relationship and we were the best of friends, lovers, partners. He is married today to another and sent me a mess thru classmates telling me that we had a great time TOGETHER. I’m reading between the lines — this one is BORING!! Make yourself interesting. Pay attention to current events, have an opinion about something. Men want a friend, an interesting partner in a relationship, whether a girlfriend or wife. Good luck!

Reply December 22, 2014, 1:35 pm


Oh, be a good cook. Good food, good conversation can bring you close, closer. The ex — when he left said about the new one, She — can really cook!

Reply December 22, 2014, 1:38 pm


You’re spot on, this article really helped me understand my boyfriends behaviour pretty well. He is all about actions and the texting part is definitely just a sign that he is still having his own life as I do as well. I mean I can’t always reply to him cos I work at all hours of the days but he doesn’t nag me and asks me why I haven’t replied to him, I would be like WTF if he did, so I see now how silly I was when I demanded and nagged in the last about not getting a response from any boyfriends I had in the past. I guess it boils down to respecting one another and being considerate of the fact that people have their life’s to live also. Thanks again for such a well put article. I really do love all your practical advice :)))

Reply July 3, 2014, 12:49 am


I love how this is an article about men wrote by a woman. I might as well write an article about how to to breast feed your newborn. Like how would I have a ******* clue?

Reply June 26, 2014, 3:25 pm

Sabrina Alexis

Maybe because the woman who wrote the article has been studying human behavior and relationships for over a decade and doesn’t pull the things she writes about out of thin air, but from information gathered via research and hundreds of interviews with actual men? Oh, and also the fact that she has been collaborating with a man (see Ask a Guy) since the site’s inception and every insight she provides is shared by him as well?

Reply June 27, 2014, 10:16 am


Thank you so much Sabrina!
The article made perfect sense to me! It actually presented almost everything I’ve been through in my relationship, and it gives absolutely true and helpful advice!
Although I learnt to deal with everything that is mentioned here, but sometimes you start getting in doubt… Reading this article every time gives me loads of positive energy and helps me stay strong and happy!!

Thank you very much! You have no idea how many people you’re helping with what you’re doing! You’re a world changer!

Reply June 30, 2014, 8:37 am

Eric Charles

Richie – is there a specific point (or points) you disagree with? Start there… it’s silly to say that a woman can’t write about men… she’s not claiming to *be* a man, she’s speaking as a woman who’s made observations, researched, etc.

Whether it’s my articles or Sabs, I’m not against someone having a counter to it, but you’re not exactly objecting to the content itself… you’re objecting merely based on the fact that she’s a female as your end point of the argument… Do you have an objection to something she said in the content?

Reply June 27, 2014, 10:30 am


This artical is total BS.
Totally one persons opinion through out the whole thing, and you should stop reading this trash unless you are trying to be just like the author.

Reply May 13, 2014, 2:00 pm

Eric Charles

Lol… well, this isn’t a scientific journal, nor is an editorial on the internet, so yeah it’s someone’s opinion.

What point (or points) in the article are you specifically objecting to?

Reply June 27, 2014, 10:31 am


I’m going to call rubbish on this article. For starters if you’re important to the man you’re dating at all he’ll make the time to text you, it’s not that difficult to do and takes no time at all. If a man says he’s too swamped at work or too busy to spend time with you then it’s time to be concerned because clearly he’s found something else he feels is more worth his time and frankly probably doesn’t really care about you.

I do agree that men have a fear of losing their freedom though, I find it ridiculous but I’m a woman so I don’t have that fear. Personally I’ve never been a naggy or demanding girlfriend, I never said no when a guys night was mentioned or said I didn’t want him to go some where or go out with his friends. I knew all his friends and frankly I really liked most of them and I got along with their girlfriends and them so it was never a big deal to hang out with them.

That part about men wanting to make women happy? not even the least bit true in my experience, what they want is to make you happy enough to get sex after that I really don’t think they care.

Also if a man suddenly stops talking to you for days at a time it’s not because he doesn’t have anything to say, chances are he’s just too busy being in some other chicks bed to bothered with you.

Reply April 2, 2014, 4:49 am

Eric Charles

Lol… so you feel the path to a man’s heart is “should’ing” him into how he should be, should act, should see things… sounds like a very “shouldy” way to go about things…

When either Sabs or I write something, we speak to the things you can control — your actions, your reactions and your thoughts. You can’t control the other person.

And the idea that he “should” be some way (because you want it that way) isn’t the best approach.

Reply June 27, 2014, 10:34 am


#1 !! I have never read dating advice online. This site is awesome!! Me and my bf have been together almost 3 years. He’s 26 and just moved out, and has been hitting the gym, creating a better and healthier lifestyle. The past couple weeks he has not been texting me as much. In the past he has called me multiple times a day and texted, being more needy then I am in general. We talked tonight about how I feel ignored lately and I asked him whats up. He said he just has been busy and wants to feel like a man, not a guy in high school, calling to just tell me he loves me a few times a day, he wants me to focus on finishing college, and have my own life and do what i want. At first i took it personal and was upset that he didn’t want to talk to me as much anymore. Now i realize he feels like it’s time to grow up! I think he feels too dependent and needy making him feel less of a man. After reading this he wants more freedom maybe. He explained to me that he doesn’t want to feel like he has to text all the time and have a time limit on texts, when he doesn’t really have much to say, and its nothing personal. Times in the past him texting/calling often can be too much, or him worrying about me getting home safe if i am out without him, and he leaves me all these texts and whatnot. So for other girls reading this, it works both ways!! We don’t want a needy man. It’s too much sometimes. They don’t want a needy women. Sometimes you can’t take things so personal (like me) and you have to always keep your friends and your interests. Worry about yourself sometimes, and not just pleasing him always. It’s a 2 way street, I need my needs met just as much as him. If you do your own thing and give some space, I think it makes men want you more. It makes me want him more too. My bf tells me he misses me when we don’t talk as much, and wants me to tell him all about my day and asks when he can see me next. Also, when something bothers either one of us, we say hey this is whats up and then we talk (not argue) and deal with it. So that is also true in this from my experience. #4 i can’t relate to at all though. All men are different, so people on here saying that it’s not true, it’s saying in general. IGreat article.

Reply March 17, 2014, 12:06 am


Great article! I’m having problems w #3. So spot on, my boyfriend wants to buy me stuff but dislikes it when I constantly Ask for smth. My question is, how do you ‘encourage ‘ them instead of coming of as being demanding ?

Reply March 7, 2014, 10:16 pm


I think she pretty well spelled it out, it’s all about showing appreciation, when men are rewarded, they want to do more of the thing that gets the reward, like how you train a dog by giving it treats, in this case the reward is appreciation, feeling as though he’s making you happy.

I also want to note that how much he desires your appreciation depends entirely on how much he values YOU as a romantic partner, and that has to do with how you inspire him and give him confidence, if you make your bf feel good about himself as a man, his desire for your appreciation will go up.

Reply March 13, 2014, 6:40 pm


This is another great article! Spot on! Thank you, thank you!

Reply January 15, 2014, 12:38 am


# 5 is correct, no man wants to lose the freedom to bang anything that moves – and doesn’t. #3 is wrong though, most men have no interest in making women happy, in fact, they specialize in making woman very unhappy.

Reply October 4, 2013, 6:41 am


# 5 is correct, no man wants to lose the freedom to bang anything the moves – and doesn’t. #3 is wrong though, most men have no interest in making women happy, in fact, they specialize in making woman very unhappy.

Reply October 4, 2013, 6:41 am


Helen, you have been hurt, and clearly more than once. However, I am here to tell you that you are not talking about men when you say that in reference to item #3. Those are boys.

A real man, in touch with what he wants and how his actions effect others will always want to make you happy.

The hurt game is played by boys who want to keep you unbalanced and at arms length. It’s a ploy to keep his freedom because he thinks a relationship isn’t freedom.

Men don’t have any of those issues. Sadly, it sounds as if you have not met many men.

Reply February 5, 2014, 2:23 pm


the blame game goes both ways, we men can easily say that women only want to bleed us dry of all our wealth, nag us to death, and generally make our lives as miserable as possible, because “girl power” or something.

Reply March 13, 2014, 6:44 pm

Eric Charles

Blaming is just plain ineffective and counter-productive, whether you’re a man or woman.

Reply June 27, 2014, 10:35 am

Susan M DeC

Sabrina I just want to take time to tell you and Eric how AWESOME your advice is, and how grateful I am for it, as millions all over the world also are I’m sure!…I am in my 40’s and could have used this advice 20 years ago, maybe I would have spared myself alot of heartache. I have a 16 yr old son, and much of this advice about men I can apply to him also in a way…I am truly feeling much happier and hopeful in life now that I am learning how men tick….THANK YOU BOTH!! I will def be buying your books!

Reply June 15, 2013, 12:05 am


”If he says he really cares about you and misses you but can’t see you because he’s so swamped at work, what he’s really saying is you’re not important enough to make time for.”

What a load of rubbish, women, get back to banging your head on the table please.
Noone gives you the right to say what we think, or feel.

Reply May 9, 2013, 3:44 pm


Well actually it is indirect communication.. and is an indication that they don’t feel their time is best spent with you.

Reply May 12, 2013, 5:49 am


In this case, you’re wrong…or at least not right.

To paraphrase – “Sometimes being swamped at work is nothing more than being swamped at work”.

There’s far more to this issue than the oversimplification you’ve provided here. You do your readers a disservice by not exploring this in greater detail, and presenting it only as “he doesn’t want to see you”. I’ve never had the opportunity to deny work when it calls – not if I want to stay employed.

Us “mens” don’t have the luxury of not working for a living…not if we want to date.

Reply August 21, 2013, 12:30 pm


I read this article and feel depressed because I seem to be behaving more like the male counterpart . I am not male. Do other women experience this?

Reply March 22, 2013, 1:36 pm


It happens to me all the time, it’s usually the man who is after me and always planning things to do with me, falling in love fast and pinin for attention…i would think it’s more about the attitude of the personr egardless of gender that influences the opposite sex. I’ve always felt like i’m the man in relationships.

Reply September 12, 2013, 2:31 pm


thank youj

Reply January 1, 2013, 8:39 pm

Frenchie land...

Reading the article made me sad. About two months ago, I met what I thought was a wonderful man through a dating website. I only dated men that people usually call “bad boys”. I felt he was different, I thought that he would never hurt me. Although I’m frankly not very experienced in the matters of heart, I saw something different in him; there was a peaceful atmosphere between us that I really enjoyed.

Few weeks after our first encounter, he admitted that he lied and hide some details about him. Well, I just told him that I understand why he was not willing to share his whole life with someone he has just met through the web. The next two weeks after his revelations were actually very great. I could sense that he really liked me. After those few days, he just stopped communicating with me. Texting was our only way to communicate. He canceled all of our meetings for about 4 weeks (I did it once, but I have a very good excuse… medical reasons)! I know he has an erratic schedule, but he was basically spending all of his free time hanging out with friends. I was hurt, but I thought that I should not expect to become the center of his world after only few weeks.

At the end of those 4 weeks, I was just mad at him, and discouraged. To be honest, my self-esteem is already low enough, it is not healthy for me to wait after someone who will perhaps never come to me. I texted him (which is basically to only way to communicate with him), and told him that I wasn’t quite sure if there was anything that could become meaningful between us if we never spend time together! I said that I was very deceitful because I really liked him, and that I was hurt that he could not even make an hour or so to see me.

I felt that I was rude (!), so I tried to call him. He didn’t answer because he was apparently with friends celebrating their victory somwhere. Fine, I was fine with that… We continued to be in touch, and I finally agreed to see him at his place after his job on Sunday night. We were distant the whole evening -actually, we’ve been physically distant to each other since the beginning- , and just before going to bed, he even asked me if I would be more comfortable if he was sleeping in the couch! At the end, we shared some intimacy (touching and kissing). His sister in law gave birth the same night, and since the next day he didn’t work, I suggested that he should visit his family on Monday (they live outside of the city). Anyway, on Monday night, I texted to know if everything was fine. He never replied…

I just feel he doesn’t make the time to see me. And it really does hurt me. I really try to be comprehensive, but it just seems that there is no room for me in his life.

And I don’t think I’m very desperate. Actually, I can assure you that I’m being asked out at least once or twice in a week by complete strangers in the street (usually, very attractive men).

Reply November 28, 2012, 12:15 am


If he wants to be with you – he should find a way. Two way street .. If you are not available to him .. He may realize that he misses you . Either way , I relate to your story and know that the right person will always want to make it work .

Reply June 17, 2013, 11:27 pm


This article is amazing. I have realised where i was going wrong in my past relation and what he wanted . Its true that guy need their space and their freedom.

Reply November 19, 2012, 11:44 pm


I think about the woman I love every waking minute. If you actually love someone, you can no more stop lvoing them than you can stop breathing…and either leads to death. Unless some pathetic dweeb has read one of those “how to win your woman” books for the tertosterone deprived, they simply love and show it whenever and however permitted.

Reply November 16, 2012, 7:59 pm

Eric Charles

That’s a dangerous thing to say…
I say dangerous because there’s truth in there, but none of the conditions around your circumstance are mentioned and it sets on an expectation that if a man isn’t SHOWING his love constantly, then it’s not real.
There are people in my love that I love and would do anything for. Even if I didn’t talk to them for years and they re-emerged and needed something from me. Even if they were no longer in my life.
So first – people use the word love to describe all sorts of situations – honeymoon phase love, intense infatuation, family love, sisterly love, “spiritually pure” love, etc. Love doesn’t require thinking at all – it just is. Infatuation and obsession is thought-based and though Hollywood portrays obsession as love… it’s simply not and just adds to the confusion.
As for the “testosterone deprived” men reading “How to Win Your Woman” books… that sentence read like it was written by a dissatisfied or embittered woman – not by a man honestly commenting on actual his relationship. Granted, I’m able to see the source of where the comments are actually coming from so I know the deal anyway… just saying though. ;)
In the grander sense, why *wouldn’t* women want men reading books on how to improve their relationships and make HER more happy, feel more loved, communicate to her better? Why wouldn’t a woman want that?
Why would it categorize the man as “testosterone deprived” and by converse, why would the “testosterone not-deprived” audience be the “good” guys here? Are you suggesting that the only suitable men to be in relationships are extremely testosterone endowed? Would you recommend that men who are unsuccessful with women should just do steroids? That would be quite a world to see…
It’s great that you think about your woman every day and that she’s like the air you breathe. Poetic, but it doesn’t hit me like real love – it hits me like the love performance Hollywood portrays as love. Just my opinion.

Reply November 18, 2012, 3:49 pm


I like this guy
And according to people he likes me too
Everyone knows i like him he knows it too
He’s one shy guy
But he’s very talkative online

But near these days
He starts replying me with no more than 3 words
Is it suppose to be normal?

Help me what should i do
And i havent talked to him for a long time
Then people forced us to slow dance
We talked a little
And um
After that
Things kind of got awkward
I tried talking to him
And then he said ttyl
I said okayy
Then um
He didnt go online for 2 days
Does he not care
And he never texts me first

Reply November 5, 2012, 4:34 pm


i must say i resent most of what is written in this article. It is clearly placing all men in a single category, saying we are all the same and thats that. I came across this article because all this is happening to me. I’ve been seeing someone for 5months and suddenly she just stopped calling, stopped messaging. I always have to initiate calls and messages now. I know she is free and doing nothing and yet still doesnt find 10seconds to send a simple message. Its me who has ended up analysing, being frustrated and constantly waiting for the phone to ring. She comes to see me rarely, we have sex, then she leaves, now i just feel like im being used, it feels awful. When i try to talk to her all she says is ‘not now’ ‘i cant deal with it now, stop pressuring me’ she knows how much its doing my head in yet continues. I cannot agree with the advice given in this article, every person and situation is different and cannot be generalised.

Reply November 4, 2012, 11:28 am


Im with this guy for 5 months now, and he is ignoring me like to the max. He doesnt text me, doesnt call me, and whenever im on Facebook, he’ll go offline/logout. At first, he was very very close to me. We use to text/talk on phone continously. Now he says he is quite busy. But, when we talk or text, I really feel that he really cares by the way he talk. On the phone, he says ‘I Love You’ almost every 5 mintues. But recently, he is being like im a stranger. On the 20th was my 5th month anniversary, he wished me in the morning, saying that he was sorry for not being early coz he slept early last night, and he even told me that he wont be able to talk to me till Tuesday, as he is very busy. He has time for others, as he comes on whatsapp again and again to chat with others. But, he hasnt got any time for. Im very scared of this situation. I really dont wana end this relationship with him. I really need some advise on this matter. Is he really not into me now? Is he really ignoring me? Has he lost interest in me? What should I do? Need some advise. Appreciated much.

Reply October 26, 2012, 5:44 am


Nashy-this guy has obviously lost interest in you unfortunately. He is putting a lot of emotional distance between the two of you by not having any time to hang out online or even in person. It seems like he isn’t putting any effort in maintaining your relationship. It’s like he doesn’t care about the way you are feeling at all. Those declarations of love on the phone mean nothing if he can’t back them up with action. The fact that you say he is acting like a stranger is a blinking neon sign that he wants out of this relationship. Try distancing yourself from him-stop initiating all contact. If he wants to talk to you because he misses you, he will let you know in some way. If he doesn’t, then you know that there is a better guy for you out there. Wish you the best of luck!

Reply November 3, 2012, 6:10 am


These 5 things sum up exactly where I’m at with my boyfriend. In the beginning of the relastionship he struggled when he meet me if he should date me because he had planned on being free as a bird for the next year and work on his career. However on our first date he drove 50 miles to pick me up…he talked so easily the whole ride..kept saying he loved my company…after the second date he was hooked…I wasn’t tring to get him to like me I was being myself…secure and happy with my life…a few days went by and he insist we Skype eachother, we hit if off right away..he got so open right away, I loved that. We skyped alot for weeks, I live 50 miles away so we hung out a few days a week having the most fun. Everytime we spoke he always talked about the future with me…wanted to know if I’d move with him if he had to move for his job. He hated texting would mostly call..he insisted i meet his parents and friends 60 miles away before he went on his vacation he planned before we meet. Crazy thing now he accidently left his phone and I’ve only heard from him twice in 5 weeks..he’s busy with friends, love this guy but I don’t understand why he can’t find a phone card and call me..??

Reply October 21, 2012, 11:54 pm


I’m a man.. And honestly don’t agree with this article.

It’s as good an attempt as any man would make at explaining what a woman wants, but unfortunately, men know what men want and woman know what woman want.

Thank you though, this has given me insight into what woman think we want.

Reply October 18, 2012, 3:40 pm


In that case Charl maybe you can expand on what men want.

I found a few things here pretty accurate and please correct me if I’m wrong. Once again, we can’t make this a universal formula and apply to everyone.

I agree with number 4 and 5 the most. I’m not saying I should threat leaving him whenever he doesn’t treat me well. This happened t me not long ago. I was dating my bf quite casually for the past few months. It got to the point where I wasn’t sure what we were. He would give me very little attention. I finally told him how I felt and that I would feel hrrible if he treated me like a fwb. he reassured me that he didn’t and that he cherished our relationship. he wants to get serious and can see a future in us. So after voicing out myself, he became more attentive and even made up to me by taking me on a very awesome trip. It was great and I love how he appreciates me.

I do believe in giving my man freedom. Because I appreciate the freedom too. Actually, though I’m a girl, I function like a man. I like attention but too much attention turns me down. I’d get annoyed if my man doesn’t have a social life and needs to see me all the time. That’s not attractive. I use to bug my bf a lot too but once I thought in his shoe, I got over it. I don’t need to know exactly what he’s doing all the time. I don’t need to wait for his reply and analyze every message all the time. I’m slowly killing myself if I do that. Being all needy and clingy is never attractive don’t you think Charl?

Reply November 2, 2012, 11:09 pm


I remember when I met this great looking Italian guy at my college homecomming. He was standing outside a crappy bar with his friends and he was the only one that was not smoking. I looked at him and I was like wow hes hot. I had to tell him that even if he did not want to hear it so I told him he was really cute. A smile came upon his face and he said the same to me. I started to hang out with him at the bar like I had known him forever. I learned he grew up in state college and he had a sister that I went to High school with. He was in amazing shape and he was big into sports. We had so much in common and his sense of humor matched mine. We talked til 7am in the morning but after that we went on another date and dated for like two months until one day he decided to never talk to me again. I said why, what did I do, we are having such a great time with each other why would you just walk away. I learned that he did not have the best relationship with his father and his father was diagnosed with cancer. As much as my heart went out to him and wanted to pray that his father gets better and that he is able to re-establish a great relationship with his father. I also feel he probably thought why would I want a guy with a lower education level than mine but the fact was he was a christian and to me that means more than some education level statues. But the last time I had spoken to him I told him to go for his dreams to be a personal trainer because I can see how he can be an inspiration to a lot of people and per haps someday be a trainer on the biggest loser because he has that kind of ever lasting effect on people. But in my hopes I wish I could see him again and I am far away from home now and I am dating someone new but still some how I still think of the great times I had with this amazing guy. Even though the g uy I see now has a PhD and he is much older than me and pays for everything we do besides the fact we argue every day and it takes like nothing to piss him off. I hope someday my paths cross with the italian but if not I hope I meet someone like him because he seemed so perfect to me.

Reply October 15, 2012, 2:12 am


Don’t waste time!
20 years from now, you will look back & regret not doing some things, like finding where this guy is today in his life. Maybe he will fit better in your life today.

A relationship LIKE THAT only COMES ALONG — ONCE. I’m older now and see how true this is. You may not find that type of relationship ever again.

Reply December 22, 2014, 2:04 pm


I have been hanging out with this guy off and on for 5 years now. I use to get frustrated because he’d come and go, but I knew that he’s crazy about me. Finally confronted him and it’s because I have a child and he says that it’s just not how he pictured his life. I told him I understand because I figure it’s because of immaturity of being 26 and he has tried. He takes me out and has mentioned wanting to meet my son, but gets scared and takes off. Since I’m crazy about him and I know he is about me my question is…Is this just a maturity thing? Will he grow to accept I have a child someday if he likes me enough? Is there anything I can do to gradually give him confidence about the situation so he doesn’t fear it? I’m not relationship crazy so I am not pushy. I’d never expect him to be responsible for my child for my child to treat him badly for not being his father. My son would actually love someone like him around because they share the same interests. Plus just because I’m stuck at home with my child doesn’t mean I’d make him stay. Advise Please.

Reply September 12, 2012, 10:50 am

Call Me Later

I had a similar situation @ that age. Lack of maturity most def had a role, but it was mainly due to me not wanting to deal with any baby daddy drama. That changed up after I met her daughter…the freak came out of her! Now I say “if they have kids, they are down to f*ck”, @ least I’m honest.

Reply September 15, 2012, 12:55 pm


I do not understand what you just said haha

Reply September 17, 2012, 3:21 pm


What Call Me later just said is he was seeing a girl who had a kid. He met the kid (the daughter) and he was repulsed because he thought the kid was a freak – probably her behavior pushed him over the edge?
So now he considers all women with kids to be off-limits.
Many men feel this way. It’s a lot easier for a man with kids to find a woman rather than a woman with kids to find a man.

Reply October 6, 2012, 4:02 pm


No, he means that he met the daughter and it made the mom happy and she became a freak-in the bedroom so now he knows moms are good lays

October 14, 2012, 9:56 am


Yep, what Dani said.

December 4, 2012, 4:10 pm


Yes, you would make him responsible for your child; a single person knows this when getting involved with a person with a kid!! Yes, you would let your child treat him badly and then defend your child with, “he’s just a kid! CONSIDER talking about and sensitive issues that need to resolved BEFORE meeting your child!

Reply April 17, 2013, 1:59 pm


” I’d never expect him to be responsible for my child…”

Sounds like you haven’t been in a relationship long enough to know how big a word RESPONSIBLE is! As long as the child is in the room, you would MAKE him responsible. As the relationship gets serious — THERE WILL BE — more forced responsibility.

Reply April 17, 2013, 2:53 pm


Recently I’ve been through a bad break-up, so I didn’t want to date for a while. I instead got caught up on all of my college work and had began to hang out with friends more. But, one of my guy friends kept asking me out and was always coming on to me. I continually pushed him away, so he stopped after a while. It has been a couple of months and we are still great friends, but now I want there to be more, yet I don’t know whether he feels the same way still or not. What would be a good way of finding out?

Reply September 10, 2012, 12:16 pm


5 things every girl needs to know about men


Reply September 8, 2012, 7:19 pm


I like this site it gives me something I really wanna know about.

Reply August 31, 2012, 8:47 pm


well hi im quite confused because im 12 and my first boyfriend is some guy and he says he loves me alot and makes me feel special, i know that there are 10000000000 more girls prettier then me and one day he’ll fall for them, recently we joked and talked about marraige and stuff but i’ve noticed he keeps flirting with about 5 other girls calling them hot and stuff and she comments on there pictures on facebook more then mine, we talk 24/7 and know eachother inside out and never get bored of eachother, but i think hes a player because everytime we talk he brings up a different girls name, what do i do? HEEELLLPPP! Please!

Reply August 24, 2012, 7:01 am


Your 12… Its not love sweety. Trust me rather break it off with him and focus on school and enjoy your life? Your still so young, why do you want to get your heart broken by a couple of jerks? If I was you I would wait until I’m at least 16 to date. Sounds like he just likes the idea of having a gf. I’m 18 and I really don’t want a boyfriend right now, you want to know why? Because I have big dreams, dreams that i don’t want to miss out on because of a silly boy. I don’t want to waste my time when I’m not ready to settle down with a guy. Yeah, have crushes and go on group dates but even then I would wait till I was older. Your so young honey, don’t ruin your life by getting involved in things that aren’t meant for your age <3

Reply August 29, 2012, 8:56 am


Very good info to know…..but it does take two to make a relationship work! Even if a guy doesn’t think much of texts or whatever (and you think woman shouldn’t either) and in situations were the woman does think they’re important, what happened to the guy showing that he cares by doing something that the woman appreciates? Yeah, don’t judge where your relationship stands by how many texts he does or doesn’t send, but if a couple of texts through the day makes the woman happy, secure, whatever, is this too hard for a guy to understand, or are they all just that selfish???

Reply August 23, 2012, 11:44 am


so i have been reading on here different things so what im getting out of it all is when a guy gets scared he closes up all over because of one wrong doing of one woman but what happend to the whole guys aren’t scared of anything

Reply August 15, 2012, 3:14 pm


they are scared of one thing only – losing their freedom
but if you can find something else they fear (spiders, blood, the dark) you can have a serious amount of fun teasing them about it when you get upset with them
they hate it – but at least you can have fun.
i know im bad at times, but im also fed up with being mistreated

Reply October 6, 2012, 4:06 pm


well written! Girls over react to everything! :D Guys will just let a girl know they like them when they know how they truly feel about her and the whole relationship thing…it may take some guys a looooooooooooooooooooooong time to know but when they do, they sweep you off your feet…so I’ve heard ;D

Reply August 14, 2012, 9:10 pm

Ashley Marie

I was seeing a guy I liked for about 7 months, it was like we were datig but we weren’t. Everything was great, just one little problem…he wouldn’t commit. I tried being understanding because I know about 6 months before we met, he got out of a 3 year relationship with a very painful ending. He told me he was scared of being hurt again and just didn’t feel ready for another relationship right now. I did badger him a bit about it but after a while with nothing changing, I got fed up and told him we wanted two different things and that we should go our separate ways. That was 3 weeks ago. I haven’t seen him since.. I’ve actually been avoiding all the places he normally goes to give him a chance to miss me. Well about a week ago, he started texting me again. He tells me he misses me, calls me gorgeous, Hun, babe, etc., always asks how I’m doing and what I’ve been up to. I’m trying to play it cool like it doesn’t bother me but it really does. I really like him, I miss him and he’s got a great deal of potential boyfriend wise. I just don’t know if I’m actually getting anywhere with him.

Reply August 14, 2012, 10:35 am

Ciara M

Just curious: Any word on what happened with this?

I was in the same exact situation. We were both fresh out of long term relationships and we “dated” each other for almost a year. BF/GF to the fullest, except no title, no commitment. It finally got to the point where I couldn’t do it anymore & I loved him too much to just settle. I told him it was all or nothing & it finally hit him… he wasn’t willing to lose me. Fast forward almost 2 years later and we’re still together, happier than ever. It CAN happen :)

Reply August 13, 2013, 10:18 am


i disagree with #5 … Freedom ??? don’t be silly … Freedom so they can hook up and find back up woman..PLEASE

well, by experience i use to give so much freedom that either i got blame of not caring or the other side was i got cheated on…. and both times it was with someone i live with

Reply August 11, 2012, 9:15 pm


Hi.I really love this gal bt I’m nt sure if she loves me too bt she said she lvs me.And another thing I found her dating another man.so me nd her dnt hv enough time cos we are nt dating openly we’re secret lovers.its like I’m her 2nd best.now I’m tired of that I want 2 own her,so what can I do plz help

Reply August 11, 2012, 11:05 am


ok i like this guy and i dont know if he likes me or not he usually texts me everyday he says he has a connection with me but im kind of confused because he tells me that he talks to other girls and he dosent want me to get hurt and i really like him alot and i care about him.so since that day he didnt text me i didnt text him back cause i wanted to give him his space and leave him alone for a while and i dont know if he’s ever gonna text me again i still have his number in my phone. oh yeah and he told me that the reason that he talks to alot of girls is because of his last girlfriend broke his heart but i just want him to like me and i really want him to trust me

Reply August 10, 2012, 1:23 am


Very well said.. This article was great.

Reply August 7, 2012, 5:18 am

danielle tinsley

I like this guy but like don’t honestly know if he likes me back he hardly speaks to me I always seem to make the effort which makes me think he doesn’t like me but he talks to these other girls I’m so jealous and I have to act like I don’t care when I really do but when I do talk to him he’s dead on but sometimes he looks at me like I have five heads and sometimes I think he knows I like him I can’t hide how I feel plus every time I like someone I get hurt and I fear rejection because usually I get it wrong I really don’t think he likes me plus there’s an age gap which kind of bothers me I’m older than him I don’t even know if I want relationship with him I just want somebody to tell me if he likes me because I don’t know also I got my hair done and he was the only guy to say it was nice he’s really nice he would do anything for anyone I need to know also how I can talk away to him because I don’t always
know what to say to him

Reply August 5, 2012, 3:19 pm

Tony@Relationship Advice For Women

Sometimes, guys have this barre to take the action due to the fear of the rejection from women. In this situation, it sounds like you both have this kind of fear. It depends on who will take the first step, sometimes it’s not a bad idea that women take the first step.

Reply August 8, 2012, 10:39 am


I am Bhavana , I am writing this from India, I am stuck in a very critical situation, I am 26 and I am not in so good condition in my career front ,I am trying hard to get on track which I will soon if my personal front gets resolved…
I am staying away from family with my roommates, I am going to this place called as “Apache Nxt lounge” ,I was going to breakup shock and I started going to this place with my few friends regularly, somehow the DJ and I got close and started dating ,we have lot in common, our bday and lot other things, which also made things more close because of the bonding, but down the line we both knew its not gonna work out in marriage because of family and religion and more likely to be frank I was not keen for marriage as the family background was very different…
Adding to it I am Virgo born on 6 sep ,I am very social by nature but don’t know why I don’t have friends In my life, I have couple of them but not the group with whom I can hangout and go for trips or dinner or even for evening coffee, so sharing what I am going through is also difficult than I decided to write you, who can be better person than you….
To elaborate more, there is another guy comes in lounge I know him through my boyfriend, I and my boyfriend in stage of breakup because it cant work out and major reason which he doesn’t know is I have madly ,deeply fallen for the other guy who comes in apache lounge, I know him last one year on /off , he had breakup with his girl friend and now he just come there to get drunk,, I have developed a deep feelings for him , I have not felt this way for any one ,as we grow old we see all the aspects of relation which can end up in marriage, I know this is the guy I can be with him, and for this I confessed him my feelings a month ago, for which he said he don’t want to get indulged as he said he never had such feelings as he always respected me as his friends girl friend to which I cleared that we are no more dating and I also told him this something which has not developed not in a day or two but its being in my heart from few month but I too wanted to give time to this …
I to be frank mistake and acted childish for persuade for the relation as I know he likes me too, but I think he is afraid or insecure of things like getting re involved in relation which I think he is not ready for , or problems in his career front, monotonous routine of work, or his ex girl friend he believes he will get her back in life is too unaware of where is his life going ,just going with the flow…..
When I started reading your book have come across important things which I have started following , I first cleared him through an sms , where I wrote him as to agreeing on his point of not getting involved as he is not ready , to make him comfortable that he can decide and settle things on professional level, I communicate him through sending few sms …now my ex boy friend has told me not to come to apache lounge anymore which is only place I can meet my beau…now this is a big barrier as somewhere I can at least see him for a while, which can make my day…..
As no one other than my roommate know about this It has make things very difficult where I am no more in relation with my ex boyfriend, so I went to the place where my beau comes daily, I am very confused what to do, I don’t have any charm in going to lounge , I don’t even drink there some time occasionally I just go there for some time ,meet my friends greet them and come back , I don’t have any place to go or hangout, I don’t even regret that what all I going in my life , what I want is to show beau that I truly have real,strong,dedicated,pure feelings for him ,its not just attraction, or affection, or sympathy, as what I feel that we don’t know much about each other as we hardly talk, we have casual interaction ,,I request you to please help ME !!!

Reply August 2, 2012, 2:55 am

Ellen @ Wannabe Health Nut

#3 is so true! I learned to just straight up tell my boyfriend if something was bothering me or if there was something I’d like him to change. I don’t nag, just a “Hey, it would really be nice if you could start…” usually gets the job done. I might have to repeat myself a few times, but the results have been worth it! I went through a period of feeling frustrated that I had to tell him (it felt so unromantic!), but “Ask and you shall receive…” as they say. :)

Reply July 30, 2012, 1:45 pm


We men are simple creatures. We love our women and if we are in love with you, our number one goal is pleasing you.

However we can’t reasonably do that which we don’t know how to do.Sometimes things need to be spelled out for us.Sometimes they even need to be spelled out VERY clearly. (As in speak very slowly and repeat as necessary.)

We need to be taught the things that please you.We are men and we (often) need to be trained. Training us however is not to be confused with changing us, and that I think is where miscommunication often begins and confusion sets in.

Reply July 30, 2012, 3:59 am


sounds great! But communicate to us whatever it is that you want! Don’t leave us guessing!! It takes 2 to make a relationship and 1 to tear it down!! MEN need to learn to communicate more and NOT leave it up to the female!!
Women are just as simple as men. “We need to be taught the things that please you.”-it’s very simple. Notice her environment. What does she like? What has she enjoyed doing in the past and add more or it. A relationship IS a partnership — a partnership can run like a successful business or not. It can EXIST or run successfully.

communication. COMMUNICATION. communication from BOTH.

Women don’t want to guess what you want.

Changing YOU is what makes a partnership OR business run Successfully. Employees must change to make a business run successfully — a relationship IS a partnership, a business!! TO run successfully EVERYONE in the relationship needs to change!

Reply April 17, 2013, 2:26 pm


Well said Andy…. you probably have a loving relationship. You sound like a great boyfriend.

Reply January 5, 2015, 3:49 pm


So letttme get this straight….. a guy doesn’t text you back quickly enough, or at all, forgive him.. don’t expect this of him because he might be busy…

But… if he says he’s missing you like crazy, but is too swamped with work to see you, then whats he’s really saying is that you’re not important enough to make time for?

Why is one okay/acceptable/to be expected and the other a signal of murky waters in regards to his true feelings for you?

Reply July 27, 2012, 3:21 pm

Love this site

I think because texting is insignificant to men you can’t use their responsiveness or text frequency to gauge the love they have for you. What I’m reading and what I’ve learned myself is that a man’s time and the amount he is willing to give you is a really good indicator. I would think if he had to work late once in awhile and wanted to reschedule that would be more than reasonable. However, if you regularly get excuses from them why they can’t make time for you it’s probably fair to say that he’s not that into you. Don’t read into texts. I’m a female and actually find it annoying when someone texts so regularly. I appreciate the effort but I recently started seeing someone in the last month that will text all day and night. It makes me feel pressured to stop what I’m doing to respond. I absolutely don’t but then I sometimes feel like a dick.

Reply July 31, 2012, 3:27 pm


This is my favorite post in ANM! Its kind of a troubleshooting guide, like the one that comes in a user manual, but for men! Excellent idea!

Reply July 26, 2012, 6:14 pm


Very well written and worth the read. Another confirmation that men and women can be easily compatible if you just learn and listen to the other’s actions. Your thoughts are all in your head, your gut is right the majority of the time. If you truly feel his compassion for you, he probably feels the same way about you. It’s no doubt a hard thing to express these feelings to each other. No one knows how to properly say “I like you” and feel comfortable that the other person feels the same.
Just continue to live your life. Force your thoughts outside of trying to read his. If you feel the connection, you are probably right that there is one.
Be the person he fell in love with originally.
Encourage his freedom, as well as your own.

Reply February 21, 2015, 1:10 pm

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