Ask a Guy: Signs He Does Not Like You post image

Ask a Guy: Signs He Does Not Like You


I read your “Does He Like Me” post (very helpful!), but my question is:  Can you help me decode signs a guy doesn’t like me?

There’s this guy I really like from work. We’ve talked a few times – he’s really cute. To be honest, I have a total crush on him!

Problem is, he’s been more stand-offish lately and I’m afraid I blew it, but maybe I’m just being paranoid. Can you let me know common ways to tell if a guy isn’t interested?

I haven’t had a crush in a while. Count yourself lucky – it’s nice to have crushes.

Stand-offish isn’t exactly a promising sign, but who knows? Let’s go through the checklist of ten ways to tell a guy is not into you:

1. He’s not around you.

This is the biggest sign of whether or not a guy is into you. If he’s not into you, he won’t be “around.”

It’s funny – guys will act 100 different ways around the girl they like… they’ll even completely ignore her! Or tease her. Or be annoying.

But if they’re into her, it’s not a matter of how they’re acting. It’s the fact that one way or another, they always just seem to be acting that way around her.

He’ll find reasons to be close to you. He’ll always just seem to end up in the same parts of the room as you.

You may not have noticed it before, but once you start paying attention you’ll completely notice it. And if you don’t see that tending to happen with this guy, it’s a sign he does not like you.

2. He talks to you about being interested in other girls comfortably.

So maybe you and him talk on a regular basis. If he talks to you about other girls, or a relationship with a girl, casually and comfortably, that’s a likely sign he’s not into you (in a romantic sense, at least).

Now, a guy might talk about how another girl is hot randomly, and sometimes that can be innocent. However, if you notice that he not only talks about other girls, but talks about liking a girl on more than just a physical level, or wanting to date her, then that’s a very clear sign he’s not interested in you.

3. He has no interest in talking to you.

This is plain enough. If he doesn’t have an interest in talking to you, it’s pretty much a given that he’s not interested.

But don’t assume he’s not interested based on something like him not texting you back immediately. Guys and their texting habits can be tricky, and you can’t use that to assess his level of interest.

If he has ample opportunity to talk to you and never acts on it, that’s a sign he’s not interested. On that same note, if you talk to him and he always finds a way to stop talking to you, or always lets the conversation fizzle out and die, then it’s very likely a sign he doesn’t like you in a romantic sense.

4. His body language/general behavior.

Negative body language cues include: avoiding eye contact, positioning his body away from you, not engaging in the conversation (non-verbal signs of this are him not smiling while talking to you, or not nodding and showing active interest in what you’re saying), maintaining distance from you, looking around the room while talking to you… It’s usually pretty obvious when someone isn’t focused on you.

If he does any of these things, he most likely isn’t interested. There’s enough dating advice / flirting tips stuff out there that beats those points into the ground, so I’m not going to spend time talking about body language.

5. He’s always busy. No rain check. He sets up dates last minute, he keeps rescheduling, he flakes constantly on you – if any of this sounds familiar, he’s not that into you (as they say). Missing a date or two is one thing, but if this is a regular occurrence then it becomes telling. A guy will make the time for a girl he’s interested in. Period.

6. There’s no difference between how he talks to you vs. other friends. Casual tone of voice. When a guy is interested in a girl, there’s always a slight difference in the way he interacts with her. It may be subtle, but you’ll notice it. He’ll have some special way of talking to her, or extend some special kind of attention to her that he doesn’t generally extend.

The best thing you can do to tell if a guy likes you is pay close attention to how he interacts with others in general. Which brings me to my next point…

MORE: 5 Telltale Signs He Likes You

7. He flirts with you… but he flirts with everyone else, too. This is where I see a lot of girls get confused. They get all wound up because some guy totally swept them off their feet. He got her number, they had a charming conversation, she texts him and…

Nothing! Where did he go?

The problem is this particular guy flirts with every girl. That’s just his way of being.

In fact, I used to have a habit of calling girls pet names like sweetheart, “hun,” and stuff like that. I thought it was affectionate and nice, but I meant it in a platonic way.

I didn’t realize it, but I ended up leading girls on and they took it to mean I was into them and started crushing back on me. I honestly wasn’t talking to them this way to be flirtatious, but it came off that way.

I learned my lesson, and the lesson I want to impart here is that you have to pay attention to how the guy interacts with others in general, not just with you.

8. He’s a friendly, outgoing guy in general. Similar to above. Pay attention to how he interacts with others.

9. He doesn’t talk about feelings, doesn’t say “I love you,” or says he’s “not sure what he feels” (a.k.a. I know what I feel and you would not respond well if I told you).

This is more in the realm of relationship problem advice, but I figure it’s worth mentioning here.

If you’re dating, or “seeing,” a guy and it’s been going on for several months, the common warning sign that he’s not really invested is if he doesn’t share his true feelings with you.

This isn’t exactly a … (continued – Click to keep reading Ask a Guy: Signs He Does Not Like You)

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Riz

After all taking all the quizzes and pass proclaming his love and liking me no question then all of a sudden after 5 yrs he said we do not have a future , I could not understand just told him well end it that way you have said enough I was so hurt , that situation I was not prepared pls advise

Reply August 4, 2015, 2:04 am

Chelsey

I have been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks, it was going well. He left for a vacation two weeks ago and he had texted me few hours before he had left for his vacation (that was his last text). Most of the times, he initiates the text. I know he was supposed to come back from his vacation a week ago and he hasn’t texted me. Should I text him or does this mean he is no longer into me?

Reply August 1, 2015, 8:00 pm

lonelymj

So I believe my boyfriend of 3 years doesn’t love me no more. All the love he showed me the first year I thought he was the one. Now I don’t get nothing. I used to get texts and phone calls. Now I am lucky to get one text if that. I don’t think I am his first thought st all I am the last. He says he loves me and wants to be with me still, but he changed. He gets mad easley.when he is home most of the time he sleeps, like so he won’t talk to me or do stuff with me or my son. Sex is good. He used to compliment me a lot saying how hot sexy beautiful ect. Now is yeah that looks ok. My self esteem feel. He doesn’t kiss me during sex anymore, hardly caressing no passion. Talks to me like a friend. Always on the phone, gets mad if I ask him what he is doing, were he is at, and when he is coming home. I should get off his ass and everything will be ok. I am like ahh no. But if I don’t tell him what I do or who am with he gets mad.

Reply July 27, 2015, 3:36 pm

Kelly

I would like to ask..I met the guy online and we went out movie and dinner once 2 weeks ago. He sent me message..like ‘thanks for a nice evening’ bla bla bla, at that time, I thought, he was being polite.

Then, he keeps text me every day but a bit more slow response.

I thought he was not interested in me, as he didnt ask me out again, then I texted him to say, if we couldnt be more than fds, Im ok to be friends. Then he replied ‘thanks for my message and no problem being friends at the moment, as many things happened at the sametime (he is divorcing now), then all in sudden, his messages come more often again…and he keeps sending me everyday, morning, daytime and good nite(with my name).

Im really confused now that whether…he wants to keep me around as he may have other ‘better’ option or really is interested in me..as he never asks me out again…since the 1st date.(or meeting)

Reply July 24, 2015, 4:43 am

M.J

Hi I need some advice… This guy I really like I’ve known him for three years now n we were kinda seeing each other before but we ended it just cause of some situations anyways we always on n off talked through the years n we both love each other or at least he says he does but my problem is that I’ve grown more attached to him n he tells me he wants to date me but first he wants to get his shit together like get a job n move in with his buddy n that he says he wants to give me 100% not half ass that’s why we’re not dating right now but I feel like it’s just exucess plus I don’t believe he actually loves me so am I right am I just wasting my time or should I hang in there for a few more months n see n if nothing happens then walk away?
Thanks
M.J

Reply July 7, 2015, 11:46 am

Zhyzhy

Hi Joey,
I would like to know if this man really likes me, we met from a dating site last sept2014, i am from Phils and he is from US then we met last april2015.. He stayed here for 20days but i ddnt sleep with him in hotel which is i think its not necessary for first time meeting. When we are in chat session he is always being nice even we exchanging presents. Then we meet, The problem is he always drunk, he always making dramas about his family, he doin trouble and out of control..we hiked in a falls he has his shoes and im just wearing fitflops which i felt belittle tho im not asking for a shoes coz i dont take advantage. And i saw of his emails and messages he flirting also other girls in chat which hurts me and he said thats only for friends and he chose me! So in my part i gave benefit of doubts if he just using me or playing me.. So i didnt give a sex even he likes that makes him frustrated because he thinks he spend money going here then i ddnt give any.. Then i also lend our car with him but he just ddnt clean and lots of trash before he left back in US.. Then still until now continuing communication but we dont have any commitment. He telling me he loves me he has a plan for us and believe him and he wants to be his rock. Then i saw an fb page where he likes he is dating site for interracial so i frank him if he just playing me stop im not one of those girls if he likes a game. I didnt do anything bad at him and my intention were pure.. Then he said to me its only a page im so paranoid he loves me and will never let me go.. But until now we are like this, its so hard.. I feels like he just playing my emotions tho we have a picture together on his facebook but i dont know his passwords.. Makes me feel sad i have been nice why he just dont be frank that he isnt interested with me!!! ????

Reply July 3, 2015, 4:03 am

kim

I’m so confused about it,in first my neighbour give a number of my new relatives, that I never see him before.then I start texting to him,then finally I meet him in my house with some he’s workers, then after that I still continued to communication with hem,but I feel so

Reply June 28, 2015, 1:02 am

Michelle

So I read these articles everyday, looking for advice. I feel like i am def NOT “needy,” I just want a normal relationship like everyone else. My guy and I talk every day… text mostly. But he always seems to be too busy to see me in person. So I fill my time with friends and stay busy with my own life. But it frustrates me because I want to see him more. I want to be more of a priority in his life. I read articles that say if he’s not wanting to be around you then he’s just not that into you, and don’t freak him out by getting too serious too soon, don’t start planning your wedding after date one, etc. But what if HE is the one initiating that stuff and making comments about moving in, getting married, and having a family eventually. Its hard for me not to mentally start planning my life with the wedding and baby carriage when he’s the one who brings it up from time to time. Now, all of a sudden, he has backed off a little and says he has a lot on his mind. I am trying not to be needy and to give him his space. When I try to talk about things, he apologizes for not giving me the attention that I need and says he’s just super stressed out about life and work. So I’m left in limbo not knowing what to do here. Do I kick him to the curb, move on, be patient with him, see where things go, etc. Don’t want to waste my time. I’m 32 and never married and/or kids. And I also don’t have time for games anymore. Life is serious now and I need him in or out, but giving a guy an ultimatum like that only pushes them away.

-Waiting in Limbo,
Michelle

Reply June 25, 2015, 10:58 am

Baru

Hey Joey,
there’s this guy I met almost one year ago… we met through our friends that we share. He is really handsome and he tried to initiate contact with me whole night, talking with me, teasing me around and we ended up kissing on the dance floor. Then he invited me to go home with him and I rejected that mainly because I just couldn’t and well it didn’t seem just right. Maybe it offended him but that was a some time ago… Now he’s super confusing when it comes to me. I don’t really know if he likes me or not… Most of the times he seems to be little intimated by me and I don’t understand why, like he’s afraid of me. When he gets drunk he eases up a little bit and tends to be closer to me. We slept together last month, we got drunk and there was always this tension between us and it sorta just happened and I don’t regret it we agreed that we don’t wanna date but I’ve never actually told him that I like him and that the reason I don’t wanna date him isn’t that but just the fact I don’t know him well enough and I don’t feel secure around him. Last time we saw each other he was acting super weird. He acts totally differently around every other girl but ME, he treats them normally but when it comes to me he has trouble speaking, he gets all nervous and stiff.. then he says stuff like it’s dangerous to keep partying with us it makes me think he doesn’t like me, then he never said anything like that and he doesn’t avoid me although he says some stupid things about having sex with some other girls but it just seems he’s doing it on purpose. I always felt like he’s afraid of something when it comes to me but maybe he just doesn’t like me…?

Reply June 23, 2015, 5:20 pm

cherry

A guy that I work with had a crush on me for a few months and I had a crush on him too I just didn’t know he was into me like that. So recently I gave him my number. He didn’t respond it turns out he met this other chick which is ok I’m not upset cause all I had was a crush. The thing that’s getting to me is that he now finds it awkward to be around me. Cause he tried to talk to me and apparently was looking for me a lot the other day. But I didnt say hay back to him at one point during the day( by accident) ever since then hes avoided me. I guess i made him upset or feel awkward..Sucks cause I would like to at least be friends. I feel like i should go up and talk to him about it but i dont want to make it worse.. i dont know what to do to make him feel comfortable other than that.. or if I should do anything at all…

Reply June 6, 2015, 1:13 am

Grace Nehema

Hi…….
there is this guy i have known since my childhood, he start dating me when i was 18yrs and he have never asked anything apart from kisses. Things started when i was celebrating my 21st birthday, he asked me to be his wife and since my parents doesn’t approved our engagement; he suggested that he shld pregnant me and with that nobody will stop our married. It take me a full year to excepted his requested cuz i love the guy so much n i don’t what anything to separate us n also the problem of been virgin i have fear in me, my worries was how painful it will be, hw will he see me after showing my nakedness to him and so many other. I gave myself to him at the age of 22, it was on 25th Dec 2014 when i last my virginity to this guy, my aim was to have a baby with him but God didn’t allowed it but to my suprised the guy is not like the one i need before; he hardly call, it has been four months now without hearing his voice n don’t even wanna call him cuz i am heart broken. he always said that he wanna minimise talking thru the phone n when i called him i alwys got him talking so i give up. i don’t wanna have another man in my life apart from him so please help me am desperate i don’t know what can i do.

Reply June 5, 2015, 2:27 am

Anon

Over the past few months I started talking to this guy. We talked to eachother last year but we had a falling out. After 2 months of us just talking and hanging out he says that he has feelings for me. I had grown feelings for him so I told him how I felt. But I am afraid of getting in a relationship because he is in a love triangle . (he hasn’t dated her since we started talking) He says that he wants nothing to do with her because she broke his heart and I believe that is true. But I am afraid that she will come back into his life and snatch him away. What should I do?

Reply May 30, 2015, 8:58 am

Gauri

Hie! This is Gauri. I met a guy at the gym he’s an instructor there. He’s really handsome, sweet, adorable, charming along with a pleasant to die for personality. After many hardships in life I dint take much interest in being close to somebody. But, but now I’ve really started falling for this guy. I don’t know that whether he is interested in me or not. Initially he showed interest but now I’m confused whether he’s ignoring me or not. I’m most of the time thinking about him, I’m really unable to control my feelings. I know this really sounds stupid but can’t help myself from resisting him. It’s really difficult for me to judge his body language. Kindly help me out through this situation.

Reply May 14, 2015, 2:44 pm

Beth

I’m so frustrated. So this guy talked to me a bunch, and we always kind of went back and forth on texting first, and once even stayed up till 2 in the morning just chatting.he would meet me at school to talk and seem to be coming up with reasons to hang out together. He invited me to hang out with him at the library and we watched some short videos and stuff for like an hour and I was really getting the impression he was into me.
I finally asked him and he didn’t say yes and he didn’t say no he just said he wasn’t looking to be in a relationship. So things continue like normal after that but he still does things that are really confusing me. Like one night we were texting and I noticed it was 9:00pm and I said “you’re skipping out on prom isn’t that like a big deal?” Or some,thing like hat and eventually they were like “well if I asked you next year would u go with me” but I don’t know if they were being serious or not so I just sent back “probably.”
My point is they’re are really confusing and I don’t know what to think

Reply May 4, 2015, 11:35 pm

Grace

hey jooeyy!
I recently developed a huge crush on this guy (after not liking anyone for about a year) and he’s really flirty with everyone (except me it seems ..) . He’s flirty with me but I can’t decide if it’s just his personality or he’s actually interested?
Also, I think he likes my best friend.Which is totally heart breaking. He’s a couple years older than me but I still want to try and get with him. Is it worth it or should I just move on? (PS idk if I can move on…)

Reply May 4, 2015, 9:20 pm

manreena

Hi Joey. …. im Reena nad I’m 14.. I jave a huge crush on my best friend. . That day I wanted to know if he cares or not so I cut in front of him n he goot really sad.. but when my bff when to him and questioned whether he liked me or no n he said no.. he shows signs such as staring smiling making me laugh very usual but doesn’t admit that he likes me.. he acts very different around me.. Once he even told me on atext that he had a crush on me but then told my friend he’s just kidding. .. I don’t get his signs as they’re weird.. but many of them say he likes me.. pls I need your hhelp…

Reply May 4, 2015, 11:45 am

Alice

I need some advice. I’m 18, I’m probably over analysing everything but oh well. I’ve started at this new gym and I have the biggest crush on this personal trainer (not much older than me). We always look at eachother and smile in the gym, he started initiating short conversation before I left the gym. I caught him staring at me while I was sorting out my weights until I looked up and we both smiled at eachother quite cheesily. He was in the room quite abit and I think? He was looking at me on and off while I was working out but I’m not 100%. Anyway, that same day, he came over to me and sat right next to me while I was training. He initiated conversation, it was really flirty and we both were laughing, he kept asking me questions about my job, training, family etc. like he really was genuinely interested. It ended up us arranging doing something together and so we exchanged numbers. He text me about half an hour later, it was flirty but his texts were every few hours. We text all of that evening and then the conversation just stopped. We haven’t spoken since and I’ve not been gym to see him. What does this mean? He showed obvious signs of interest so why isn’t he following up on the date or texting me? I’m really interested and he’s just my type. I never over do it over text, don’t double text so I’m not showing over eagerness or anything but im showing interest with my texts? Help!!!

Reply May 3, 2015, 6:40 pm

Joey

Alice – how long has it been since he sent you a text? If it’s only been a day or so, give it another day or two, then follow up and see if he’s ok. It definitely sounds like he’s interested. Something may’ve happened. Give him the benefit of the doubt. I had the same thing happen to me with a girl i liked that worked at the gym I go to also. We had the same vibe going for a while, after several months I asked if she wanted to go to a local minor league baseball game with me (I had extra tickets), she was excited and interested, said yes. We emailed a few times about which game to go to, she liked a friday game, so we were going with that. Then two days later, she completely cut off all communication with me. About every day or two I would contact her to confirm the date, but she never responded. I never understood why she would agree to a date, then cut off all communication, but it is what it is. She eventually moved on to other gyms in the area and haven’t seen her since. Its strange how people can act. They’re hot one minute and cold the next. I don’t think she meant any harm toward me, but may’ve been creeped out suddenly, scared, found someone else, lost interest, etc. Perhaps you’ll have better luck. Just check in with him from time to time, remind him of your interest to go on a date, etc. If he doesn’t seem interested or even respond back, then let it go.

Reply May 3, 2015, 8:47 pm

Alice

Thanks for replying! erm it was a few days ago, we spoke to today in person when I went training. He was staring at me as I went to leave and we both kind of walked towards each other, we just had a friendly conversation with a little bit of teasing. I then decided to bite the bullet and text him today, it wasn’t a bad conversation but hours in between texts and he’s decided to not reply so I think I’m gonna let it go. I did genuinely think he liked me with how interested he was and his body language when speaking to me, I’m not too bad a reading guys but maybe he just wants the flirt and the chase of dating? – Alice, Surrey

Reply May 4, 2015, 4:21 pm

Rose

Please someone help me.. i have been seeing this guh for 2 months now.. he is sooo hot and cold towards me. He told me that he really likes me and loves me around but doenst want a relationship. I am fine with that honestly and told him that. But it buggs me that he makes comments like; “it feels like im laying with my girlfriend” or “its like we are in a relationship”. I ask him if it makes him uncomfortable and his answer is always “no not at all”!! He keeps on repeating himself about the not wanting a relationship and im at the point that i dont respond because i get it!! Now since 4 days ago he stopped texting me / calling me / wanting to go on dates and keep going. I also found him on a datigsite through my best friend. I wont take it to heavely because i know.. he doenst want commitment blabla.. i dont text him but im worried that all intressed in me is gone eventhough we both have the same ideas. When i attemt too talk about “us” he changes the subject.. im so lost someone PLEASE HELP ME

Reply May 3, 2015, 6:15 pm

Joey

Rose – don’t feel bad. This guy is all over the place emotionally. MOVE ON. That’s my best advice. Focus on other things, other activities, and other possible guys. He’s saying things that are contradictory. Don’t involve yourself with a guy like that. You’re wasting your time. He’s immature.

Reply May 3, 2015, 9:05 pm

manreena

Hey I’m Reena.. I’m 14… I kinda like really like this guy from my school.. he’s ny best friend. . Whenever I ask him whether he likes me not he keeps on saying no n he acts likes he really likes me and then one day we had a fight about this I started cutting in front of him and he seemed to be very worried he keeps on asking my best friend about me but he told my bestie that he doesn’t like me but act like he does…. I seriously don’t know what to do… I need u r help

Reply May 3, 2015, 12:07 pm

Joey

Reena – You cut yourself in front of him?? If so, you may have more important issues to deal with than with a boy from school. You probably creeped him out, but he seems to care about you genuinely. Focus on improving your mental and physical health first. Get into more positive groups, music, books, etc. You deserve better for yourself. Don’t let what this guy does or does not feel for you determine what your state of mind will be for the day. Free yourself of that. Focus on helping others, contributing in places that need your time/skills. You’ll grow in so many ways and you’ll forget why you were so caught up about this guy. There’s more to life…

Reply May 3, 2015, 9:00 pm

manreena

Joey u see I seem to really like him… n he seems to care for me I don’t cut every time. . I cut on purpose to see whether he cares he really does.. but is afraid of telling me he likes me.. can u please help me.. my friends keep on saying we make a cute couple… and his friends too say that too him

Reply May 3, 2015, 10:07 pm

confused girl

Hi Joey,
I’m 16 and I have a problem.
I am friends with this big group at school. there are heaps of guys and a few girls. There’s this one guys in the group I was really good friends and we were kind of flirting. My other friends said that we would make a cute couple and that he so liked me back. Everything was awesome until we were messaging each other one night, when I told him I liked him. he didn’t respond to the message and unadded me on all social media. At school the next day he didn’t say anything to me so I just let it go. That afternoon I asked if we could talk over message again and he said he took it too far and we could be friends again. but the rest of the week at school was awkward. he told a few of his friends about it, he hasn’t talked to me yet and if I am talking to his friends first he wont join us he goes to another group. Some of his friends have no idea what is going on and I just need to know what I should do and what I should say and he is sending mixed messages as to whether he likes me or not.
Please help me.

Reply May 1, 2015, 9:57 pm

Joey

Make sure you don’t take his reaction to hard. It seems like he likes you to a point, but it’s rather unclear if it’s romantic feelings since he retreated…it’s possible that he’s just scared, or just not interested in that way. He might feel like he’s on the spot to do something now that you told him how you feel towards him. You both are young, and he probably has no idea how to deal with this yet. Just be yourself, and focus on caring about him, yet give him his space if that’s what he needs. Keep yourself light-hearted about it. Things may simmer down in a little while. You can send him an email if you want to just clear the air, saying that it’s ok if he doesn’t feel the same, you understand but still would like to talk once in a while as friends. Other than that, just move forward and don’t hang your head! Perhaps even find guys outside your circle at school, maybe even outside the school completely. Whether its through meetup, church, sports, book groups, etc., just challenge yourself to go beyond those walls and you never know, you may find someone who’s been looking for a nice girl like yourself!

Reply May 3, 2015, 8:15 pm

Deborah

Hi
I’ve been seeing a guy for 3 months now. Everything was going great ,until 2 weeks ago . I was getting off from work and he called me to ask if I was hungry. I said No thanks it’s been a long day .. He then asked if I was going to his house and I said yes . He said I’ll be right behind you I will stop and just pick me up something to eat .. I get to he’s house and hour later I text him (NO REPLY) I wait another hour and call him again (NO REPLY ) .. I was starting to go crazy ,so I left because I have been needing to get me some summer clothes for the next day anyway .. Well after another hour he finally text me saying he was cow chasing and be be here in a min .. I was on my way back to hes house ,When i get a text saying WHATEVER .then i stopped and when back to my house .He was so angry that we didn’t talk for 3 day’s and then he said he wasn’t going to date anyone but I could and we’ll play this by ear .. I’ve only seen him 2 hour’s in 2 weeks .. We had a date planned but he called and canceled and that Friday he disappeared and I text him Sat morning around 10 and asked him where did you go ,, He said the Bar and now I’m on my way to Houston for my job…..What do I do ???????

Reply April 27, 2015, 8:39 pm

Shim

I have this really big thing for this cute guy but I’m not so shore that he likes me in that way… HALP ME??????????????????????????????????????

Reply April 21, 2015, 5:51 am

lk

hes cute hes funny but just does not have eye contact hes looked at me and smiled at me. hes winked at me too but the thing is there is this girl that is ugly and gets between us . she has pimples and dresses so ugly she looks poor

Reply April 20, 2015, 10:39 am

susan

there is guy who talks to me on social networking site everyday.I have really started liking him very much.But he says he is looking for a girlfriend.He is often in the dilemma to how to make a girlfriend. He says that he feels lonely because of that.i have tried to check him through various ways and i am afraid that he would say a NO to me if i just proposed him. i am simply not able to get out of him .i think about him so much and he does not know anything. instead he tries to ask me things how to impress a girl.he talks to me very nicely and flirts with with sometimes(actually praises me very much… sometimes even for no reason) I have fallen for this guy and i feel helpless please help me…….

Reply April 17, 2015, 11:37 pm

hailey

why a guy still date a girl when he doesn’t like her that much anymore??

Reply April 14, 2015, 12:00 am

michelle

So i met a guy during my final semester of college and we became really good friends, i gradually started liking him and we became closer and closer. Now we talk everyday, know everythjng about each other and are comfortable with saying anything. He says he likes me but doesnt want a relationship because it brings alot of drama but he always mentions how theres noone else like me in his life. He doesnt talk to anyone else like he does to me, i am sure of that. Problem is the whole 2 yrs we been talking, weve only met up twice and its more of a friendly casual thing. He never mentions hanging out or meeting up and it scares me. Is he using me for my time or is he genuine and cares about me and really wants to take this far? He is a very shy guy and is very genuine his not a player of any sort. Really respected and honest. Anyone has any advice? It would be greatly appreciated.

Reply April 1, 2015, 8:42 pm

MsBelle

I’ve been in my relationship for 3 years now and he won’t touch me. He won’t hold my hand, kiss me, doesn’t get intimate often and it’s more of a wham bam thank you ma’am kind of event when it does happen…we are expecting a child so I guess I should feel the love but I enjoy the touch aspect of a relationship….which he is VERY aware of. His normal response when I ask for a kiss or a hug is that he’s been “lovey dovey” with other girls before and it’s never ended well so he’s not going to be that way with me. We’ve been through quite a bit the two of us together, he used to yell at me and shove me but the last year he’s really cleaned up his act. I’m not sure what to do, he has never left me and the one time I left for a week he stayed and waited for me to come home so we could fix things but he really just seems to hate to touch me and I’m not sure why…maybe I’m not appealing? Maybe other women really have messed up that aspect of our relationship before I got a chance to show him I’m different? He’s always saying how different I am and how he wants to be with me but I can’t help but feel like he’s not really into me…any suggestions?

Reply April 1, 2015, 2:15 pm

Joey

MsBelle,
He won’t show you any affection after 3 years together? Some guys show more than others…but how in the world did the two of you end up together then?? Anyway, sounds like he’s using you if that’s the only time he shows affection is in the bedroom. Something is WRONG, big time. He knows it too, but probably, like most guys, doesn’t have the first clue what to do about it. He’s about to be a father too, and that probably weights heavily on him also. Who knows what all the issues are, but I don’t think past relationships with women have been as big of factor as he believes. Affection comes naturally from a loving heart. If something isn’t right, usually relationally/emotionally, then it can hinder his display of affection. It may not have anything to do with you at all. Normally, my advice for something like this would be to LEAVE, immediately. However, he’s about to be the father of your child, so raising the child with both of you working together, preferably as a married couple, would be whats best for the child. I assume you’re already being careful how you approach him on this topic, as you don’t want him to feel like he’s being nagged/pushed. There are scores of women who are going through the same thing too, your’e not alone…and neither is he. Inject some positive energy into the relationship, and encourage him constantly. Notice the good things he does, even in his failures. Compliment him, and expect nothing in return. It’ll be difficult at first, but it may produce some positive results down the road – and may elevate your mood as well, and it costs nothing financially. You’ll have to make some changes in your routines as well. Get away from negative people, degrading TV/music, etc. Read positive, encouraging material. Find ways to make a difference. The tide will turn in your own life – and may infect others near you as well. Also, you could enlist some help, maybe his family, best friends, professional counselors, etc. Always keep perspective: it could be worse! Hope this helps

Reply April 13, 2015, 8:11 pm

janet

Others a man that has been coming in to where I work for almost a year. He started giving hugs the second time he came. All the while telling me how beautiful, sexy, etc
.. I am. About 6 months later he started missing me on the cheek or forehead before he left. I fell for him months as go, but wasn’t ready to act on anything. I was scared. Last summer I gave him my phone number so he could send me a picture. He began texting every morning with “morning beautiful” & every night ” night sweetheart”. He would call me at various times around the clock just to let me know where he was. Now, he goes MIA a Lot! I finally decided it was time to start seeing him when we can in January. He even stops by to give me a kiss if he doesn’t have a delivery at my job. He’s the father of two boys, divorced and a truck driver/reserve police officer. I’m recently separated, and work two jobs. We both work out and we live in different towns. I know we’re both very busy, but texting and phone calls are our main line of communication. Now he won’t text and rarely answers his phone. What’s my next step?

Reply March 29, 2015, 9:25 pm

As

Everyone shut up!

As a guy i say one thing.. If he thinks your an idiot then he doesn’t like you…. Do something cute, if he is attentive then he likes you, if he thinks your a idiot then move on… Simple!

Remember every hot woman will virtually seem like a genius to most men…

Reply March 29, 2015, 8:55 am

Ronnie Greenspan

I agree. Plus it is not fun when someone thinks your a idiot and your not one. Let him have his
hot girl who he thinks is a genius but is not one.

Reply April 30, 2015, 7:44 am

Julia

So there’s this guy and i like him a lot but he is dating the most popular girl in school and she’s cute and i don’t know if the girl will get mad at me if i tell him i like him because she has a lot of friends and i don’t want to mess up their relationship. What do i do? Do i tell him or what untill they brake up? Life is so hard when it comes to this because hd is the only guy i truly like but hes dating the most cutes stylish and popularest girl so i guess i should give up and backk off there relationship

Reply March 28, 2015, 12:17 pm

Earl

Unfortunately, it may feel like it would be a good thing to get that off your chest to him. It’s unlikely any good will come of it, and it will very likely cause tension or trouble. If someone is in a relationship, a third party telling them that they are interested in them won’t help much. It’s extremely unlikely that the best case scenario would happen. That being: he says “me too” and dumps the girl to be with you. Unfortunately that only really happens in fantasy and movies.

“i don’t know if the girl will get mad at me if i tell him i like him”

Yes, she will get mad. You will be interfering. She will probably tell her friends, and her friends may even harass or bully you for it. This happened to me when I was in school and did the same thing as you are thinking of doing.

Either wait until they break up, and try to get close to him. Or move on and find someone else that takes your interest. This is probably not the answer you’d want to hear. But it’s one based on direct experience.

Reply March 29, 2015, 1:54 am

Brooke

I moved into a new school before Christmas last year because of being bullied and made a new friend called let’s call her X. We became best friends and did a talent show together. After that I got a crush on a really nice guy (he’s 13 im 12 almost 13) I have a lot of confidence issues social anxiety trust issues and suffer from depression. X was really nice about it and even helped me arrange to go to the cinema and my crush (she is going to come to back me up). After that I felt happy but really shaky and scared. So I tell the guy I like him I said: this might be a bit shocking to hear but I like you… Something like that. I sit there waiting for 2 hours and no reply my best friend x just suddenly dissapeared and I am really upset. She might blocked me or deleted her account. I’m just really scared tbh right now. Please help. I’m trying to fake illness for school tomorrow. Feeling horrible right now ????

Reply March 26, 2015, 7:02 pm

Mary

You need to calm down. You shouldn’t label your self that’s just a crutch you use to explain a weak character. You are 12 or 13 that’s is the most awkward point in life. If he likes you then you will both get board and find new people within two years and if he doesn’t like you then oh well on to the next one. Just Try to relax and remember that you will grow into yourself one day but if you label yourself then you will grow into your labels

Reply July 24, 2015, 11:51 am

discoverer

A girl met a guy on net..he starts liking him…he never seen him..jus in pics…once she tell she likes her..but in anger…the guy insults her..make fun of her..n his friends also..guy have a different religion too…now the girl is not talking to the guy for about 4 years..the girl thinking that guy likes her…but may be his ego comes jus to say that….is that girl is wrong???

Reply March 25, 2015, 12:28 pm

Mymy

I feel desperate! I hadn’t seen him since we were little. We are in touch for a few years now, once in every six months we’d text each other, just check in and ask how life is going. We’ve seen each other on a wedding six months ago. He was like ‘you’re prettier than I imagined’ and I was all shy because I had not expected to be this drawn to him. Ever since he texts me almost every day. He wants to know all about my everyday things. If there is something going on like trouble at work, he goes out of his way to call me for hours, and likes to share his stuff as well. He underlines that he is not much of a sharing type and feels comfortable with me etc. BUT. He never wants to meet up. He is always too busy. And I know he really is. But it’s been six months! He still texts me ‘I want to know all’ EVERY day, he is the initiator 90%. But he doesn’t want to hang out. I’m frustrated as to what he wants. I know there is no one else. I don’t feel we are just friends. I’d know because I have a lot of male friends.

Reply March 25, 2015, 12:29 am

ehh

Mymy

It’s been a while since you posted this not sure if your situation changed etc. But to me it sounds like this guy has a girlfriend that’s why he doesn’t want to meet up, that’s why he’s always “busy.” And of course he’s not going to tell you because he likes you and doesn’t want to lose you. I may be wrong but eh this is what I believe is going on based on what you wrote on here .

Reply May 19, 2015, 5:35 pm

silke janssens

Hi Joey,

I need your help! There’s this guy I’ve known since I was a little kid, but we never really spoke to each other. That changed 6 months ago, when we were at this party. I must say I was a little drunk and he was probably too, and all of a sudden we were outside, just the two of us, talking while he was taking a smoke. When he finished his cigarette, he suddenly started kissing me. I would’ve never seen it coming, it was totally out of the blue and I kissed him back. It was one of the best kisses I’ve ever had. I totally didn’t/and still don’t understand why he did this: he’s one of those guys that every girl has a crush on, and he knows it. That’s probably part of why I was so shocked he kissed me, I’ve always found him attractive, but I simply never acted on it because I thought I could never get someone as goodlooking as him to like me. The next morning I found out that he actually had a girlfriend, and that she broke up with him because his friends had texted him about him kissing me. I should have felt guilty, but I didn’t. Since then, I couldn’t stop thinking about him and all these ‘what if’s’ came up in my head. What if he might like me for who I am? What if he is interested? What if we kiss again? You can imagine… And it didn’t make it any better that he was a phenomenal kisser. Moving on, the next time I saw him, he was always joking around with the things I said, and I could feel that he was looking at me more than usual. More weeks passed by, (i don’t see him that often), and it felt like he was really opening up to me. One day, the two of us were walking in town, it was a sunny day, and it was one of the first times I actually was alone with him, and with that I mean, alone and sober ;). I thought it would be really awkward, but it wasn’t awkward at all. He told me a lot about his personal life, like how his mom wants him to stop smoking but she knows how difficult it is because she had a really tough time quitting herself, how his ex broke up with him because she thought he was too immature (although I don’t really know if talking about your ex is that much of a good sign), and he asked a lot of questions too. And the entire time, right at the moment when I thought it would get awkward/silent, he started telling a new story. You can sort of imagine that I was very positively surprised by his willingness to open up to me, especially when he’s one of these guys who can get any girl he wants. But here’s the struggle, after that, we went to a couple of parties, (we didn’t go together, we just have the same friend group), and that’s when he didn’t showed any interest in me whatsoever. We did say hi and talked a little bit, but I honestly hoped for a little bit more… Now we are 6 months further, and this weekend we went on a group weekend with 15 friends, including me and him. And this is where it seems to really bother me: we barely spoke to each other. He’s very attractive, and I know he knows it (he can be so goddamn arrogant and full of himself, but in some weird way, that’s exactly what I like in guys), but this weekend I just couldn’t stand it. It was like all he was trying to do was impress his friends with his witty comments. I really don’t know where I stand for the moment, and I can’t move on (I’m such a girl.) because if there could be like this tiny little bit of hope that he might be into me, I don’t want to miss my shot. What do you think? Please help me!!!!

Reply March 23, 2015, 3:01 pm

Joey

Hi Silke,
So he opens up his life to you for a while, now he’s aloof? It’s hard to say really. There are a lot of possibilities as to why he’s acted toward you the way he has. You’re hoping for the version where he’s into you, but might be a little tentative about asking you out. That’s probably the best case scenario among a multitude of scenarios. You have a few options though. 1.) Do nothing, wait for him to make a move. 2.) Ask him if he wants to do something together. 3.) Tell him how you feel, and wait for his reaction. Don’t come off needy, just be honest about some of the positive feelings and experiences you’ve had with him thus far.
Now, with that said, let me give you a word of warning: Be very careful how this moves forward (if it does). If you already feel like this after one kiss and some time together, imagine what would happen if you were both sleeping together, then he went into “aloof” mode like you described earlier…not talking to you, doing his own thing, etc. Establish some unspoken boundaries…for your own sake. If you feel like he’s using his good looks and charm to have his way with women (sex, attention, etc.) you should be very wary. If he’s truly arrogant and self absorbed, that’s not really someone you want in your life…is it? Good looks come and go, but a person’s character runs deeper. Maybe dig deeper and find out what this guy really made of…how loyal is he to commitments? He “committed” to a girl, but kissed you also…and he was drinking so…maybe he can’t be trusted to make proper decisions when he’s under the influence? Will those thoughts pop into your head if you and him were a couple? You have some things to think about…I wish you the best

Reply April 13, 2015, 7:07 pm

Shri

Hi ,

I know this guy and we were very close but he got upset with me over reading some old conversation and even though he never committed ,we really had a strong liking towards each other. I dont want to end things and want to settle things down but really dont know what to do as he does not want to talk to me at all.

Though after not talking for 4- 5 days i sent him a text and the following day he sent a song and the conversation was very abrupt and strange .

Please help me as i really dont want to lose him and want things to be normal and him to understand that it was in the past and even without any commitment when he was in my life i was a 100 % with him.

Waiting for a response.

Thanks

Reply March 21, 2015, 3:31 am

blozzy

hey eric,
can i please get your email. i was to discuss something really important

Reply March 10, 2015, 9:49 pm

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

hi

Reply March 18, 2015, 8:00 pm

KK

Ok so I have known this guy for a little over a year now and I really like him and everyone tells me that he likes me too but to be honest I’m not sure that they are right even if I want them to be. I dont see him all that often and when I do we don’t always Talk but when we do talk it seems like he likes me. I might be ready to give up and just move on. I also just messaged him and told him I liked him straight out which may not have been the best idea but I did and he never messaged me back. What does this mean is he just shy like everyone says?

Reply March 8, 2015, 11:21 pm

DuskPort

If everyone is saying that he likes you back then he probably does, especially if when you talk to him it seems like he does. He’s probably just shy and doesn’t want to ruin your friendship, If you really like him try telling him again in person as just say you don’t want to ruin the friendship but I have feelings for you and if he says he does too then there you go but if he doesn’t then just say that’s fine lets just keep being friends.

Reply March 31, 2015, 5:20 pm

Someone

Months Ago.there this guy who actually admitted to me that he have been sending off clues that he actually likes me .. I responded with are you messing with me ?
And that was it since then..
I responded like that bec my friends have been telling me how he is attached to someone to some extent and sending off signs ..
I m not sure who to consider his words or my friends observations

Now I feel regret for blowing my chances for something
I wasnt accepting at that time and now I am..
Please Help ! Is there anything to do ? Or wait for ??

Reply March 5, 2015, 2:19 pm

Kat

Alright, I need an outside point of view on this. I like a guy, and I think he likes me back, meaning he makes eye contact a lot, and who I see/ run into frequently. He has a lot of girl friends, but not in the romantic way, and I’m positive he hasn’t dated anyone before. He moves on quickly from other girls that he flirts with quickly, but for as long as he’s given me attention he’s moved on from several girls. I’m not sure if this means he has feelings for me because he’s paid attention to me longer, but I’m not sure. An outside opinion would be helpful!

Reply March 4, 2015, 10:23 pm

Thulichrist

IF IS NOT CLEAR, DON’T CONFUSE YOURSELF WALK AWAY NURSING A BROKEN HEART AIN’T NO JOKE…

Reply March 13, 2015, 4:51 pm

Earl

Don’t listen to Thulichrist, that is lame advice.

Uncertainty doesn’t mean give up, it means try to find out. It’s also better to find out, even if it’s not the answer you want, than to wonder for the rest of your life.

There is a lot of risk in coming out and saying “hey i like you”, you don’t have to that.

He may or may not be flirting with you more intensely than other girls, you can’t really know that, because you will (obviously) see it more when it’s happening to you. Maybe try escalating it, just a little bit. Nothing too obvious, but subtle things. If there is eye contact, maybe make it a bit more intense, see what the response is, if any. If there is a hug involved, see what happens if you hug for just a little bit longer. Things like that. If he reciprocates each time, take it a step up each time with little things. Each time you do it, there is a low risk, but eventually it will become clear, if he doesn’t reciprocate those things, then you will have been able to tell whether he is interested without having to be overt and risk humiliation.

Reply March 29, 2015, 2:04 am

Emma

Hi

I’m in a tricky situation with this guy…so I met this guy on tinder…we spoke for nearly 6-7 weeks before we actually finally met…we went on a few dates and everything was going great he would always call me gorgeous and beautiful and call me babe on Messages etc…anyway this weekend was THE weekend and on Sunday everything seemed Abit odd. He wasn’t very cuddly or touchy feely with me and as a woman that made me feel Abit pissed off…I didn’t say anything to him as i put it down to us both probably having a hangover

Anyway all day Sunday he seemed okay he was still calling me babe and said he had a great night etc.

Since Monday he’s not sent one flirty message, called me babe, called me beautiful said I’m gorgeous like he normally does…all he’s done is call me ‘Em’ which is fair enough but normally he would be like ‘night babe etc etc…’ We’ve not really spoke a lot either to be fair and he’s not very talkative with me. We’re going out on Saturdah and I’m getting to the point now where I’m thinking…what’s the point in even going out if he’s going to be like that with me?! It’s as if he’s calling me ‘Em’ for a reason and its standing out more because when we speak it’s like he’s making a concious effort to replace ‘babe’ with ‘Em’ all the time. So I’ve started to replace ‘babe’ with his name.

It’s really upset me to be honest and I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal but us girls are so observant and it would be nice to be spoken to the way he has in the past…ive done nothing to merit him being like that and he doesn’t even send me any flirty texts anymore or make me feel wanted. I just don’t know what to do?! :(

Reply March 4, 2015, 2:59 pm

Anonymous

Girl, stop being so insecure. When a guy really likes you he’ll want to say your name more. sounds like he’s being more comfortable and committed with you, especially knowing he has already planned your next date. Have fun and don’t get too stressed out over what he calls you. Him making time and definite plans with for you is a bigger indicator of his feelings for you.

Reply March 4, 2015, 3:11 pm

anonymous girl

I have the same problem as Avie. I really don’t understand this guy that I like. I need to know if he likes me or not. I want to be his girlfriend so bad. He once asked me out and I screwed it up. I said really like five times. Then he said he was kidding, and that he wanted to see my reaction. Then he said, “What would have said if I really meant it?”. I told him that I would have said that I would have to think about it. The after that, like 3 moths after, somebody told him that I liked him. That happened today. Anyway when they told him he got surprised. I really need help to konw if he likes me or not.

Reply February 24, 2015, 7:40 pm

Joey

Wow, why would a guy jokingly ask you out? He must be immature. My first instinct is that he likes you, but because you second guessed him 5 times, he may’ve felt awkward because his approach wasn’t well received at first take (or 2nd). Take what he says at face value the first time. Just remain actively interested in his life. Ask him specific questions, how he’s doing with such and such (sports, projects, classes, etc), if he wants to eat lunch together, go shopping, bowling, etc. Otherwise, just sit back and wait for the guys to reel you in. Make sure you give those signals that girls should give to let the guy know you’re interested, the rest is up to them.

Reply February 25, 2015, 8:08 pm

The BFF

Hi Joey, You share great advice. Maybe you can help. Here’s a situation: This guy has known this girl for almost a year. They worked together briefly, but got a chance to know each other during that time. The girl has reached out from time to time to say, they guy has reached out maybe once or twice. At one point he expressed interest in a physical relationship, but the girl turned him down saying she’s not into things that does not involve emotion. He had come out of a long-term relationship so the guy could not handle emotional commitments. Later on, the girl noticed he was dating some girl. They apparently have spent some Holidays together. The girl found out, because the new girl he is dating posted pics of them together on facebook, however, the pics he posted do not mention the new girl he is dating or that they were together those days. The girl asked him if the new girl was his girlfriend he said no, but they were dating. The girl basically told him she wanted to date him, but only if he stopped seeing the other girl. He responded to the girl that he was only into dating one girl at one time. She thinks maybe he needs some time to sink in what she said. The guy and the girl who likes him -(not the one he is currently dating)- have never been on a date, speak mostly via text she initiates, and he has never asked her out, although they made tentative plans to that never solidified… (Writing this out is actually bringing clarity to the situation…) But, what are your thoughts: Is that new relationship serious? How long would it take for him to really consider what the girl (who likes him) told him? The girl said she is going to just back off and is even thinking about defriending him on facebook, because she really likes this guy and has put it all out there that she wants to date him… Would love to hear your thoughts on this situation.

Reply March 11, 2015, 1:02 pm

Avie

I like this guy, and he acts like he likes me back. The thing is that when I asked him if he liked me back he said no. I’m not sure what that means. Can somebody help me?

Reply February 24, 2015, 7:30 pm

Joey

Avie – No means no…sometimes lol. Depends on maturity level, age, personality, etc. He might be shy and doesn’t want to admit his feelings for you. If he likes you, he should approach you for a date. If he doesn’t, he’s just scared/immature, or he just isn’t interested in that way. He may just like talking/joking with you because he’s comfortable with you. Don’t overthink these things. Be yourself. Have fun and enjoy your life. Take interest in other things to keep your mind off of this guy.

Reply February 25, 2015, 7:55 pm

Anon

Hi Joey, I’m very confused at the moment and this drives me nuts. Help! :(
This guy started texting me two years ago and it wasn’t intense until probably begining of 2014 til recently. We used to text each other from morning to night every single day! All this while though, he never ask me out. It’s ok i understand it took some courage to ask a girl out. So he finally did late December 2014 and we went out quite a few times. Though I did suggest rain checks from some of his invitations (he couln’t be turned off by these turn downs, could he?) The dates were good, a bit awkward but good. And not long after that i felt that he changed. He didn’t text me as much anymore and so I did my bit and text him first and ask him out and he said yes. Again, a good date. From then on, nothing from him at all and it’s been three weeks now. Question is, does he like me or not? Or am I just thinking too much? If he does like me, what could’ve changed in such a short time? And if he doesn’t like me, why keep the conversation for years? He showed mixed signs and he never really say he likes me and he’s kind to almost everyone but I call feel that he’s different with me. I don’t know what he’s thinking. What should I do next?

Reply February 24, 2015, 7:34 am

Joey

If he’s not contacting you, then check in with him from time to time like you have been, but you may want to be more direct in terms of a possible romantic relationship with him. You might have to just ask him if he’s ever considered it. He may not be interested anymore, or he may just need a jumpstart to get comfortable with being with you. It’s difficult to know. You might want to let him know that you’re interested but aren’t going to wait around…or you can just demonstrate that by moving on in silence. Guys have to learn to take more initiative if they want a woman. Women need to know the obvious signals to give a man so he knows they’re interested and can make an approach. If you know those signals, and have given them, then you can be confident that he isn’t interested.

Reply February 25, 2015, 7:48 pm

anonymous

Hey so me and this guy have been talking for about 6 months we went from hanging out every weekend to hanging out every 3 weeks now. Could it be because he needs his space with his friends?. This recently just started happening. He’s a really nice guy and tries to write to me everyday of the week. I know a lot about him and he knows a lot about me. But he’s never told me he likes me or is into me. I mean I feel he does. But then i don’t know. I could be wrong :/ I’m 22 and he’s 22.

Reply February 23, 2015, 8:20 pm

Joey

Many possibilities. Write to you? You mean texts, emails? He may have a busy schedule, personal problems, or he’s losing interest (if he had that). Don’t hound him. Perhaps check in with him every now and again to see how he’s doing, maybe even slip in a fun, stress free hangout. If he says yes, try to get some information out of him as to what’s going on in his life. Tell him you’re there for him to listen, etc. If you’re having sex with him on these weekly, every 3-week hangouts, he may just be using you. Be careful, unless you don’t mind the “FWB” tag. Other than that, just act interested and concerned. Meanwhile, chat up some other guys, enjoy your life and explore your interests.

Reply February 25, 2015, 7:36 pm

Sarah

I honestly don’t understand my ex. I was the only girl he ever loved and he broke up because he wasn’t sure about living me passionately anymore. Two days later he is helping to move me out and is acting like he is 100% happy and that he is already talking to other people and already had a girl he wants to date who is prettier, with a better body. I told him compassion is what stays in a relationship and passion comes and goes but it is like he is in denial or something. He kept bragging about all the people he is talking to because he heard I was on tinder and meetme (I was on it just for fun). He told me he made a point to swipe left on me on tinder. And when we were leaving his apartment, he saw this creepy guy check me out and he said “why don’t you go out with him?! He was checking you out!!!!” He acts like he 100% doesn’t care about me and that he is completely fine. He is talking to a ton of girls that he isn’t even interested in. He claims his feelings for them might’ve changed but honestly they are girls that either liked him in the past or he thinks likes him. What is his problem??

Reply February 23, 2015, 11:18 am

Joey

Sarah –
He’s immature. Don’t be sad that he is gone. That’s a blessing! No more wasted time of your life on that guy…there are plenty of guys that will adore you and treat you like a woman. Choose your boyfriend wisely next time, and learn from past experiences…oh, and don’t harbor any ill feelings toward him at all. Make sure you purge those if/when they develop.

Reply February 25, 2015, 7:29 pm

Ximena

I have a fella who gives me really mixed signs….
We met as roommates. He was close friends with my ex (who later became my x husband) . We all lived together for about a year. So I know him comfortably. Eventually he moved to another state and I got a divorice . We had kept in touch and when my divorice happened he was very supportive and even bought me a vacation to spend time with him…..I thought this would be it be cause I always felt there was an attraction there . But than nothing did…. (Mind you we were both a little depressed at this time which was another reaason for commin together) The last day when he takes me to the air port he kisses me ! Than tells me he misses me already.

Confused by this, I let it go figuring I’m in no star to start a complicated long distance relationship . Through our the next year we see each other 3 more times dispute being in other states…. He is sweet to me. Pays for everything and takes care of me when we are near….. I’ve told him I love him, he has told me he loves me . We talk openly. He had a short relationship with another woman durring this time …. I never got to meet her, but on one visit to her family (which is in my home state) he joined but didn’t stay with her. He stayed in a hotel and we hung out everyday.
I feel like there is obvious tension…. I don’t know how to Handel it, he’s a dear friend so I guess I’m afraid that if he doesn’t feel like I do it will hurt our friend ship .
I usually have good response with the men I’m attracted to and they get the hint and make the first move. So this is different because he doesn’t make moves, even though we’ve been in pretty good predicaments to make something happen…. I’m confused . Any words of advise? Fellas what does this sound like to you?

Reply February 23, 2015, 11:09 am

Lakia Dula

I just don’t understand my ex boyfriend said that i was the sexiest woman he has been with and I am I’ve seen his ex’s and I am. Now he lives like 2 hours away from me and one day he randomly messaged me on facebook saying that he misses the people he left behind he didn’t say me directly and then he told me that he is moving back towards were i live and he said he wanted to meet up again.. And he told me not to be offended if he doesn’t message me on fb again because he said he is going through some things and is focused on bills and his kid? Am I a distraction ? why is he avoiding me?

Reply February 20, 2015, 9:16 pm

Joey

He wants to meet up? Could be for romance, or could be a booty call. Looks aren’t everything, if they were, he would still be with “the sexiest woman he has been with”, or perhaps his relationship with you was mainly physical and it never evolved beyond that? He may be busy with bills and his kid, but that doesn’t stop a man from communicating with someone he really cares about. He’s giving you mixed signals, typical guy thing. Be careful. Don’t let yourself be used, physically or emotionally. Put up some boundaries with guys. It’ll keep you from being hurt more than you should be, and it’ll help you find a guy that really, truly desires you. He may have a lot going on, but that’s his issue. We all have things going on in our lives to deal with. If he needs time to deal with his life, then give it to him. Sounds like he needs time to sort things out….but again, beware of the booty call if you really want to establish something more with this guy.

Reply February 21, 2015, 9:14 am

Ruth

Hi Joey! I have a boy problem. I’m not going to say I’m in love, I’m only sixteen. I do, however, feel a STRONG affection for an eighteen year old boy from my church. He has told me that he likes me, then that he doesn’t know how he feels, then that he wants to be with me but it isn’t the right time, then that he doesn’t want what I want and I am so confused! He wants to talk about “us” tomorrow, but I don’t trust that he will be completely honest while he’s sober. He manages to have an effect in me that keeps me from saying what I need to for fear that he will become upset. What should I do?

Reply February 19, 2015, 10:09 am

Joey

Ruth, well sorry I got to this a bit late. How did the talk turn out? One thing I noticed, is that you said you don’t trust he’ll be honest with you while he’s sober…how often do you see him under the influence? That’s a red flag to me. And why are you afraid of telling him how you feel and getting him upset? So we have a guy that 1) Is using drugs to feel better and 2) Makes you feel like you can’t be open with him on how you really feel? You don’t need to tell him all the feelings you have for him. If he’s wishy washy he’ll have to eventually move past that – and leave the drugs behind so he can deal with himself properly, and effectively communicate his feelings toward you. He probably knows what he wants, but he doesn’t want to commit to one person yet, or he’s just afraid about making the wrong decision. You need to keep a handle on your feelings – they can cause you to have affections for someone that wouldn’t be a good companion. Look at the obvious signs. I don’t know if you have, but make sure you don’t ever begin a physical relationship with someone like this – they can and will break your heart and leave you in shambles.

Reply February 21, 2015, 8:27 am

Capria

I really like this one guy in my class and my friends try to get me to talk to him, but every time I try to talk to him I get all nervous. Plz help me -(-///-)-

Reply February 18, 2015, 7:47 pm

Joey

Capria – You’re not alone, guys get the same way. Find out a few thing he’s interested in, or involved in. Come up with a few questions related to those things that you can ask him…or even better, ask for his help on something that he’s good at. If he has a good grade, maybe ask for his help on some homework, maybe even working out a time to work together on it. It may get you headed in the right direction and eventually develop into something more…or it could be fruitless. Either way, it’ll give you good practice talking with guys you like and are nervous around, instead of practicing letting fear be a giant obstacle. You’ll see pretty quickly it’s not as big of deal as you thought!

Reply February 21, 2015, 7:45 am

mamas

i been talking to this guy for a week,when we met we had a god time & stuff. we kept in contact with each other but now he doesnt reply & blames on work & him moving to fast with life. Friday i told him lets hang out just me & him, he wanted to bring his friend i told him no . what do i do ?

Reply February 18, 2015, 5:55 pm

Joey

Sounds like something may’ve changed. Either he’s telling you the truth, or he’s no longer interested in pursuing you. Let him move on with his busy, “fast” life. You really don’t want a part of that. He may come around later on, but for now just take what he said at face value, and don’t make any assumptions.

Reply February 21, 2015, 7:35 am

bella

Joey I feel so heartbroken, I feel inadequate. Just feel like I wasn’t good enough I know I shouldn’t. Feel that way and that I’m not inadequate but I just can’t help the way I feel. It’s like in my head I know I’m ok and that it’s his loss, but in my heart I keep feeling like I there’s something wrong with me, mayb I wasn’t pretty enough, or fun enough or interesting or I loved too much. Do you get?

Reply February 17, 2015, 9:01 am

Joey

Bella – Actually it’s pretty normal to feel those things, especially after what you just went through. I know it doesn’t feel “good” to feel them, but keep this short phrase close to your heart: “This too shall pass”. It won’t last forever, but make sure you’re not feeding the fire either. Allow yourself to get over it, just let the feelings come as they may. Something isn’t wrong with you – this guy wanted to use you and act out of line. Let the grieving process do its thing, then let it go and embrace the idea of moving on. Don’t be a slave to your feelings. They don’t always tell you what’s true and what’s good. They just appear – sometimes due to chemical imbalances, sometimes they’re legitimate, and sometimes it’s something else.

Nobody can be “everything” to their significant other – ever. We’re not meant to be. No matter how pretty, or funny, or successful, or interesting you are, it will never ultimately fulfill the deep longings of the heart for someone else – even a “soulmate”. You can never love too much, just make sure it’s real love and not lust, or idolatry, or covetousness, envy, etc. Love at it’s highest level is willing to sacrifice life for life, with no strings attached. Work on being someone that can love to the fullest, forgive, nurture, encourage, teach….and also receive correction. Be humble. Be loyal. Commit yourself to these things in healthy balance, and understand that in life lows will come so that we can greater appreciate the highs.

Reply February 17, 2015, 8:37 pm

bella

Thanks Joey, you’ve been a great help to me. Thanks.

Reply February 18, 2015, 9:49 am

Bob

I am not a coworker just a friend of the family. That was asked to take him to work, he has no other way at this time. Did not mean this to happen it just did. He will have his drivers license soon. I am helping him to get them. Then I will not see him as munch.

Reply February 15, 2015, 7:29 am

Bob

Forgot to tell He knows that I am gay also.

Reply February 14, 2015, 4:31 pm

Joey

If you know he’s straight, what are you hoping for? Don’t let every feeling be your guide…just be a friendly coworker, and if that is too difficult to handle emotionally then have him get a ride to work with someone else so your heart can move on.

Reply February 14, 2015, 9:26 pm

Bob

I am 63 year old male. I feel in love with a guy that’s only 22 years old. He is straight. I take him to work for his grand mother. I feel in love with him almost that first time I picked him up for work. It has been about 6 months now that I have been taking him to work. We are very good friends to him, but I love him and I want to tell him but I don’t no how well he will take it and I do not want to jeopardize are friend ship. What should I do or do not do?

Reply February 14, 2015, 5:54 am

Aniahh

Hi I need help. Okay so my crush knows that I like him. He likes all my pics on facebook but we dont talk. He is very shy. Earlier whenever he came in front of me I turned around and now he does the same thing with me.

Reply February 12, 2015, 9:08 am

Joey

Aniahh – You’ll need to provide some more details on your interactions with him. Are you saying that whenever he approached you, you would turn your back on him? Now he’s doing the same to you? Well if that’s true, you’ve given the impression that you’re not interested in talking with him – even though you “like” him. Btw, how does he know that? Are you 100% sure you portrayed that to him properly? Sounds like you both need to just work on communication. Perhaps start with chatting online, then move to a quick discussion. What you may want to do is approach him, and ask for his help with something – maybe something he’s good at or really interested in. That could ignite a conversation, but don’t hang in there too long talking and talking. Bring it to an end after a few minutes or when you think it’s a good time without being rude, and tell him something like “Ok! Let’s talk about this more later…thanks for your help! Meet me at …” Think it through. That may help bring down the barrier for him. Perhaps there’s a way to get this same advice through some friends of yours and his so he can do the same thing to you! You have nothing to lose…

Reply February 12, 2015, 7:41 pm

Shae

Hey, so I’m in love with a guy, hence why I’m here. Recently I had the guts to ask him on a valentines date. He said yes! Unfortunately we both work that day so we decided we’d go on another night. However when I text him my schedule a day ago and suggested a day he still hasn’t gotten back to me. I get that people get busy I know. I just figured if he wanted to go on a date he’d be more enthusiastic about it. He seemed pretty happy when I asked and over all he’s an extremely honest guy and doesn’t seem like the type to say yes to a date if he didn’t want to. Am I over thinking everything?

We tease each other constantly, we can talk for hours without getting bored. He’s told me things he normally doesn’t tell others, I’ve seen him get emotionally and he’s held me while I’ve sobbed over a crisis. He’s been there for me more times than I can count. Surely those are signs he has feelings towards me?

Reply February 12, 2015, 12:48 am

Joey

Shae – Sure, he definitely has feelings towards you, in my opinion. Does he feel what you feel? Maybe, maybe not. Have you talked with him at all since? Just send him a gentle reminder from time to time…or when you see him next say something to him. There’s a lot of reasons why he may not have responded to you by now…I’m not going to speculate. The verbal commitment has been made though, which is good. Lets see if he follows through or not. Be patient. If he shrugs it off constantly then he may’ve changed his mind. I’ve had girls commit to a date, then suddenly fade off not long after…not sure exactly why but probably for some of the same reasons a guy would do the same thing. People can be finicky…I know, it sucks but it’s true. Good luck

Reply February 12, 2015, 7:33 pm

bella

Ok joey I know u prolly tired of hearing from me by now, but I jst saw a picture of my bf and a girl, in diff postures, she was sitting on his laps in one, she was standin with her leg on him in another and him holding her bum, he was holdin her in another, I think he’s cheating on me, what do I do? Do I confront him, I was looking thru his emails wen I saw it so I wasn’t actually supposed to see it, I was kindoff snooping I know that’s not right but I just wanted to know watsup, my hands are shaking as I type this. What do I do?do you think he’s cheating?

Reply February 11, 2015, 3:20 pm

Joey

Well, he might call that “hanging out” and “having fun”, which is “fine” if that was someone else’s bachelor party and she was the “stripper”, but if my g/f were in those pictures doing those things while I was dating her, I would probably break up with her. Why? Well, that doesn’t demonstrate discretion on her part. I prefer someone who knows how to be more discreet and not provoke men. You, and others, may disagree. If you would like a man to keep his hands to himself, then I don’t think it’s asking much. Looking through his emails may be crossing the line, because you should trust him, but you obviously don’t. This won’t end here either…even if he has a good excuse. You’ll probably never trust him out with others again. I don’t know if he has a “relationship” going on with this girl behind your back or not, it may be her just flirting with everyone there, including him. Maybe the pictures are from before you were with him. Either way, you may want to think about what type of guy you are with, what his intentions are/were, and if you should move forward with him. Sometimes people deserve second chances, etc. If you ask him about the photos, he may go off on you for snooping and be so upset that he won’t want to explain the content of the pics to you. You haven’t trusted him for a little while now, he doesn’t pay attention to you, doesn’t consider your feelings in regards to affection and acknowledgement, you’re not married to him, and there’s no kids involved. I think that’s a recipe to leave and start new before it gets worse. He needs to grow up. You should work at finding better men by filtering the ones you meet through a strict “boundary” regimen. And…make sure you hold yourself to that same standard…hope this helps Bella

Reply February 11, 2015, 6:34 pm

bella

Thanks joey, I ended things with him, don’t think he’s the right guy for me. He said it was just harmless fun, but I feel he can have fun without touching another girl. Thanks for your advice.

Reply February 12, 2015, 1:47 am

Joey

Good for you Bella! Glad I could help. I wish the best for you in your future relationships…

Reply February 12, 2015, 6:35 am

Payge

so there’s this boy I’ve known since 8th grade and I liked him ever since I saw him. we became best friends but I still secretly liked him. I was there when he was dating other girls and he even dated my best friend at the time. I waited and waited for him to like me back but he never did. and he also knew that I liked him but I would tell people I didn’t because I didn’t want him to think I still liked him for that long. I’m now in the middle of 10th grade and I’m still head over heels for him. I’ve told him recently that I don’t feel that way about him and idk if he believes me or not. but Ive never had my first kiss and he’s super duper touchy with me. he will always be super close to me and randomly grab my hand and look at me and not look away and just stare at me and when I finally stare at him he just tells me I’m pretty or that he loves me. and I can’t help but notice that he keeps trying to kiss me because he’s always staring at my lips and teasing me about not kissing anyone and has gotten super close to kissing me many times. I don’t know if he just wants to be my first or if he likes me? he never texts me, I’m the one to text him first all the time. but at school HES the one who approaches me and gets super touchy with me. I don’t know what to do. I want to believe that he likes me but I don’t want to get my hopes up.

Reply February 10, 2015, 10:22 pm

Payge

???????

Reply February 11, 2015, 6:44 pm

Joey

Payge – yeah he likes you. He’s really confident around you too. However, all this time has gone by and he hasn’t approached you for a date yet? Wow, you’re so amazing to him that he’s delaying asking you out and thereby taking the chance of you being picked up by someone else? It’s not that he’s shy or nervous around you, so I think we can eliminate that. He may just respect your friendship and likes teasing you as a friend. Doesn’t sound real mature if he’s tempting you knowing that you haven’t kissed anyone before, and that you probably like him still. Doesn’t sound like a great “friend” to me. Keep some distance. Find other interests and activities. Build yourself into a wonderful young woman. Don’t spend any energy trying to make him feel jealous, notice you, etc. Just be YOU, and work on some things to make a better you. Read some books on relationships. Pray – ask God to free your heart (this could be a form of idolatry and covetousness). Seek wise counsel, especially from your parents, grandparents, etc. Having their support can make it feel like you’re not alone with your feelings. It may be hard to talk with them about it, but it might be one of the big steps to making a better you. Oh, another thing, don’t let your feelings push you around…which is easier said than done. It can leave you depressed if you go on without having those feelings returned. Find a PERSON to love and be loved by. Don’t chase feelings that a person can bring. Feelings come and go like the wind.

Reply February 11, 2015, 6:57 pm

Hazel

Hi Joey. I have been dating this guy for 3 years now and he has helped me through everything. Recently he asked me to marry him and now we are engaged!! I was head over heels for him but then I found out he was out with another girl one night and had sex. I spent the next three months crying my eyes out. He came back to me and said he was sorry and I hit him multiple times with my heels. After he left I went onto a dating site where I found a man. His name is Chris and we have been dating for 4 days. He took me to a beach where we had sex in the water! Best thing ever by the way. And after I cummed he proposed holding my breasts. We instantly got married on a cruise together. To summ it up, what is wrong with me?

Reply February 9, 2015, 11:54 pm

Joey

Hazel – That’s a interesting question. I’ll tell you what I think is wrong based on the comments you made – which were very contradictory and confusing. You wrote about 2 different men, both in the present tense. Your third sentence and second to last sentence are baffling if taken at face value.

Anyway, I think we are both in agreement that this behavior was erratic. You threw yourself into the arms of another man pretty quickly, especially right after your ex tried to fix things with you. It sounds like it was done on a whim and in the throws of lust – not a good combination if you’re truly seeking intimacy. I would advise you to seek professional advice. Your marriage can work, but you need to ask yourself if you’ve truly dealt with any bitterness and resentment from your previous relationships. If not, those things will follow you into any relationship and will rear its ugly head eventually – destroying you and others in the process. Do yourself a favor Hazel – and own where you are at. Just analyze yourself and don’t give any excuses. You have already acknowledged that something is “wrong” anyway – which was the first big step, so now it may be time for the next step.

Reply February 10, 2015, 7:24 am

bella

JOEY!!!!!!!! ANSA ME!!! THANKS

Reply February 9, 2015, 2:30 pm

bella

He plays with other girls, dotes on them, chats but he isn’t like that with me, half the time I feel like I’m disturbing, or I’m only good enough for sex, and it hurts terribly, i’m just lonely. Beginning to think he might be cheating on me.

Reply February 6, 2015, 6:29 pm

Joey

Bella,
Well, 9 months is plenty of time to have direct communication with him about how you feel. After all, if you’re going to be in a lasting relationship with him, you and him will have to hash these things out, communicate, be honest, etc. Sounds like he likes female attention, and if he’s not affectionate in public, you should tell him that being somewhat affectionate when out together would be very reassuring. You’re having sex with him though, which complicates things because, as you said, you already feel like you’re only “good enough” for sex, which probably means you’re starting to feel used. Just ask him if he wants to be with you anymore, tell him the concerns you have that you mentioned here. Just open up. If he gets defensive, angry, changes subject, trivializes it, etc. then your gut instincts may be right. What then? Well you’re not married to him, so you can walk away. Get into the habit of establishing some boundaries in your relationships to prevent from being used. Guys use women all the time because it’s easier than establishing boundaries, which they often don’t know how to do – or if they even should. If you’re “his” and he’s “yours”, then you should be treated with more affection, honor, and love. Don’t expect it 24/7, a guy has to live and breathe too…but there should be a balance. Just because he doesn’t feel comfortable with affection doesn’t mean he should ignore making adjustments. ALL relationships require adjustment and compromise, and it starts via communication. Good luck

Reply February 7, 2015, 8:06 am

bella

Thanks joey, I tried talking to him but he said I should leave those things for children, but then I told him it wasn’t childish that I just wanted intimacy and affection and he said he was sorry, I just feel like when a guy really loves you certain things should come to him naturally, I feel like I’m forcing stuff, he swears he loves me tho, and anytime I talk about breaking up he begs me to stay, He used to be a lot more distant but when I told him I could be in such a cold relationship he made very obvious changes we use to see like once a week but now we see like four or 3 times a week, I don’t know what to make of him.

Reply February 7, 2015, 10:36 pm

bella

He started calling more, and texting more.

Reply February 7, 2015, 10:42 pm

Joey

Hi Bella – Well if he’s responding more, then that’s a good sign I think. However, if he thinks affection is childish – that’s a big red flag. It may mean he has a lot of pride and he’s not used to showing affection… so he trivializes it. It also shows a lack of respect for what deeply matters to you. It’s not like you requested him to do something outrageous that would hurt him, you, or someone else. Although, you don’t want him hanging on you, smothering you all the time, always talking to you and petting you while out with friends, etc. That’s not balance, and it exudes neediness. I’m assuming you have a good handle on what balance looks like, but it doesn’t hurt to look at your desires and get a sense if they are off base at all (such as coming here). Sometimes friends and family can give you great advice on whether your requests are valid. All I have to go on is your description and I don’t know anything about you as a person…so I’m just saying my advice is to be taken tenuously. SO, you can simply give it some more time and see how he responds over the coming weeks/months. It’s up to you. He may be addicted to the physical aspect of your relationship, and afraid of not having a girl around to give him company rather than actually loving you. This is where strict boundaries can help identify if he cherishes YOU as a person, or just a hangout buddy that has some physical benefits. I don’t mean to sound old fashioned, but it works if you’re really trying to figure out his feelings as you move forward in the relationship with him.

February 9, 2015, 7:37 pm

bella

I’m not childish by the way, i’m 23 and he’s 26.

Reply February 6, 2015, 2:13 pm

bella

Ok, so I feel like when I’m hanging with my boyfriend and his friends he wants me to disappear or something, I don’t know the right word to use, yea he talks to me but it feels like there’s a barrier, he won’t hold my hand, or act affectionate, and I don’t know how to bring it up with him, how do you explain to a guy that you want to be acknowledged, you want to hold hands in public, u want ur pictures put up on instagram, u want him to give u a bit of attention and actually talk to uu even when we hanging out with others without sounding childish. Sometimes it feels like he’s attentive to everyone but me. He uploads pictures of other girls on instagram, Has so many other girls calling him and him calling. I just feel like I’m outside the loop withh him, and we’ve been together for 9months.

Reply February 6, 2015, 2:09 pm

Dominique

Ever since my sophmore year my friend and i would talk all the time. Last year i started getting feelings for him. We would have picnics every other week and watch our favorite show. In the beginning of the year we would still be talking all the time but once he turned 18 he completely changed with me, he stopped talking to and acknowledging me. But when we are around other people he talks to me and flirts. And then it starts all over again where he ignores me. Ive tried talking to him but he ignores me. Did i do something wrong?

Reply February 6, 2015, 9:00 am

Joey

Dominique – He probably doesn’t have a romantic interest, just a friendly one. Those feelings developed for you, but may not have developed as much for him. It’s hard to tell. Perhaps the friendship ran its course for him – but he doesn’t have ill feelings toward you – so he jokes with you sometimes. If you want, write him a letter. Just tell him that you enjoy spending time together and miss your friendship. If he responds, whatever he tells you, just take it at face value. We can speculate all we want, but it won’t do any good. He may have a romantic interest that has captured his attention – who knows. The separation may be a good thing if he doesn’t have those feelings for you…it’ll help you to move on. Feelings are strange at this age…don’t take it too personally (easier said than done). Just take it as it comes, don’t look to much into these things. Focus your life on moving outward and forward, and don’t let rejection turn into bitterness. Let your love for others trump your pride every time.

Reply February 7, 2015, 8:57 am

iqra

At the start of year 7himhad a crush on my true love and this is my first crush. Luckily I was in the same form as hI’m I started to look at him and tried grabbing his attention to me but that didn’t work so in year 8 now I went to my cousins house and I met his neighbour and I got his phone number of her and she gave it to Me but now he says to give him sweets so I do but then today he said that why did I get his number and that I am a big liar because I used to say that I will bring him sweets but not everyday so today he said that he doesn’t like me but I truely still know that he does because he still looks at me.

Reply February 3, 2015, 4:16 pm

Mia

You have to chill out girl. If he says he doesn’t like you then move on. If he does he will come running after you later.

Reply February 3, 2015, 10:29 pm

Grace

To be honest (not trying to be rude) you’re in the creepy love phase. Every girl has this with some guy, usually around your age. Getting his number from a neighbor can look creepy and stalkerish to him. I say, completely ignore him. I think hes taking advantage of you liking him. Just dont talk to him until you’re both mature, and if you still like him, and he likes you, then go for it. Dont push “true love”. Also, relationships tend to last longer when youre not in school. High school lovers almost never make it. So just wait, and maybe he’ll come back in your life.

Lots of love,
Grace

Reply February 19, 2015, 11:26 pm

Clarra

I had a crush on this guy since like last year. I think he also thought the same bcuz he always shows signs like he likes me. That happens everytime were in tuition class last year.This year, we are classmates. I was like YAY bcuz I still have a crush on him without telling the truth to him and everyone. But now, I think he does not like me anyomore bcuz we seldom talk. But I think he has a little feeling to me. Please help me. Is he still have a xrush or me or not?

Reply February 3, 2015, 12:46 pm

Joey

I don’t have any idea if he likes you or not. There’s not much to go on. Talk to him. Get to know him some more if possible. Invite him to lunch or something where you can talk about your class then get to know each other more. Find out if he’s seeing someone or not. Be friendly and inquisitive, but don’t be needy. If you don’t something may not ever get generated between the two of you…or you can just move on.

Reply February 5, 2015, 6:43 am

sadie

I’m in love with this guys 11 years now and I’ve known him 12 years. 3 years after we met, I find out we’re 3rd cousins. I was already in too deep. The first year of loving him, I told him I liked him at least 3 different times. His response was, so what do I want to do? & do I want to kiss. After I tell him how I feel, everything is always awkward the next day. He was only 12 then, I was 15. I didn’t kiss him. He tried kissing me countless times subtly but I never gave him the chance. He always finds an excuse to touch my hands, even now. He stares at me without looking away, I only see love, when we’re hanging with others. He is super handsome btw and I’m average. He had a lot of girls. He was with a bad crew, my other cousins, he started drinking and he still does. Only when he drinks he approaches me, he always flirts and the next day it’s like a different person. He’s more serious and chill and it’s like I’m a total stranger, he never talks to me. He always introduces me as his cousin. Well at 16, my aim was to make him jealous. I would always talk to guys on the phone in front him just for the satisfaction of seeing him angry. He told me I like too much men. My goal from then till now was to make him jealous, make him want to be with me. I fell for a guy at 17 and he became my first boyfriend. I can’t remember what my crush well the love of my life did to me, but at 18, he probably cursed me or something and I left him behind for 7-8 months. I limed with his crew as they were my cousins. Months after he sent his bff my cousin, to call me. I was hanging with my cousins/friends. I went, he was crying. He ran away the month before I heard. He fell in love with a girl but she had to move back to New York, a different country. I’m from the Caribbean. He was depressed, he had family issues as well. He apologized crying, drunk, I told him apologize when you’re sober. He said he will. 3 weeks after I was trapped awkwardly alone in my brother’s room with him, he just said I know I didn’t call. I couldn’t, I feel nervous around you when I’m sober. This year, he hugged me on his couch while his sister (i.e.my best friend) was sleeping. He even bought me food and canceled his Christmas eve plans and brought the lime to me, at his house. I was spending it there alone. I’m not a people person. I was not expecting anybody to be home. He told his friend I wasn’t well. That was a lie. It was suspicious that night, he almost had them leave early so it would be just us. It was uncomfortable because I didn’t know him or spoken to him in person in years. I made it noticeable and he made them stay. I came on to him, a week after kissing his neck and biting his shoulders and we even kissed. He stuck his tongue in my mouth after I teased him and we kissed for 6 seconds before I pushed him away, his finger was sliding over my private area in front. He whispered desperately for me to stay that night. Actually everytime we’re drunk he never wants me to go home. I went back old years night to spend it alone at his house and he was in a good mood ready to head out to lime. He hugged me like nothing happened and say happy new years Woo Hoo. I was devastated. I felt so used. He left with his friends. I was there alone at his house. Don’t forget that’s also my best friend’s house. She was at my mother’s for Old Years service. We don’t have the same beliefs. I don’t keep friends, only her. I was woken up by her phone call 2 am saying she’s coming. I assume he was home at 1 am bc I was having the worst New Years 12 am, then I struggled and finally fell asleep, surprisingly strong too. I got up to see him in his bedroom sleeping ( the door always open). I was surprised because usually when he hangs with them, he comes home like 6 am. The following day, I called him telling him I need to talk to him. Please don’t set me up, if you’re not going to come, just say so and don’t have me waiting. He said ok he’ll come now, he has to go home first and have a bath. 2 hrs after, bff told me, he’s home and he knocked out in the bathroom (sleeping). He got super drunk. Odd because, his stomach is alcohol strong. He slept the whole day. No phone call from him, no text. I failed to mention, during the making out, I told him he’s so perfect, I kissed his heart. He told me he can’t fall in love. He had me on top him with our clothes on, pulling my ass onto his d*c*, I was moaning and he stopped after 1 minute and I continued. He asked me if he could hug me, I said yes, he did. I was between his legs, he kissed my forehead unexpectedly and we slept away. So he stood me up. My birthday was 22nd January. My bff ask him and his friend to take me out for my birthday. I didn’t want to but she managed to convince me, they wanna hang out. His bff told me and my bff, the love of my life ( he didn’t use those words), planned for us (4 of us) to go to the beach. That beach was mostly for couples, it was romantic but cool to hang as well. Our lime was in the night. We were drunk, as usual he approached me. We had fun, he had me laughing. On the way back, his bff asked me if to drop me home or if I’m staying over by my bff’s house. My bff and the love of my life said she’s (me) spending the night. I did. He told me he loves a school teacher. I told him I didn’t want a relationship because he’s an alcoholic and my father is one, I promised myself to never go with one because they’re abusive. I told him I loved him for so long until I realized how serious it is, we’re 3rd cousins. He wasn’t making sense, he pulled me but gently and desperately saying, we are not. He was trying to convince me. Weird, because, he always introduces me as his cousin. I should mention, I told him trust is earned and he never gave me a reason to trust him. He told me to trust him. He was telling me to watch him in his eyes. He sounded so deep. He said he wouldn’t lie to me. He’s protective over me as much as he is, his own sister and mother. <– His words. Night ended with us cuddling. He spend the whole time kissing on my neck and nibbling my ears. He almost sucked my finger but I pulled away. He did already the first night though, I let him. His father caught us cuddling a couple of times. His father came home quiet and angry. He stopped kissing my neck abruptly even though his father was home like 35 minutes before. I thought something was wrong with me. I asked him after, he called me in his room. He told me he was trying not to get me in trouble. He pushed in his door and held my face to kiss me. That would've been super hot but I pulled away. I told him I thought he had feelings for me that's why I did all this before but then him standing me up that day, I realized he didn't. He took a while to explain how he's different from other guys, how all of his exes are good with him and he left all of them I asked him what is he scared off.Everything went blank there. I was drunk. He told me lie on top of him, I did. He said I'm like a teddy ( no I'm slender). He came on top me kissing my neck, dry humping me and I stopped him. He asked me to kiss my stomach. I let him. He said he liked it. I was about to push him away again, and he bit me and said that's for teasing me! Lol, He asked to hug me again and I said yes. We were about to fall asleep, when he said: Nothing we do is in vain, I like you and it's up to you what you want to do with that. My hand was in his and I rubbed it gently with my thumb and we fell asleep. Okay my question is, what's up with him?

Reply February 1, 2015, 1:58 pm

Joey

When did all of these things happen? Recently? If the two of you can’t enjoy each other without alcohol involved, that’s a red flag. Also, he seems shy and unsure about himself and his feelings for you. You’ve known each other a long time, and he hasn’t made a real move to get you to be his yet….so he’s nervous. That’s what he said. You need to be very careful with a guy like this, you could end up hurt even more, or pregnant. This whole thing doesn’t sound stable. Use caution.

Reply February 7, 2015, 7:35 am

sadie

I failed to mention I’m super shy and awkward when I’m sober. Yes this was recent, this year Jan 22nd. We haven’t seen each other since. Nothing unusual, we never text, or call. I believe he’s getting to know another girl. Before I told him I love(d) him ( I also told him I didn’t want a relationship because he drinks too much and my father drinks and he’s abusive), he told me he loves a teacher ;/. Why would he love another girl and be sticking to me and kissing me up, even kissing my forehead before we sleep. Remember, he approaches me when we’re drunk and 2 times in 12 years I’ve ever responded and hugged/kissed him. I used to be quiet when drunk, he would try to get me to tell him about myself. I never did. He would talk. Now i’m full of questions and he’s quiet. Looks like he doesn’t care. He was in love with another girl, he called her ‘the one’ in 2011, last I asked him about her (Jan 22), he said she was perfect. I don’t know what to do. I would be embarrassed to see him next time, supposing he has a girlfriend now. I really want to be his girl.

Reply February 10, 2015, 2:00 pm

sadie

Thank you so much Joey! I appreciate your time and your wisdom.

Reply February 10, 2015, 2:04 pm

Mia

I’m depressed about everything. The guy I was almost in love with played with my feelings. I am now falling off a cliff of depression. I can’t get out of it. I’ve already tried so hard with him and then he tells me me loves his ex. Do you think the whole time he was playing me up that he thought all we were was friends that flirt with each other then he ignores me. I am so sad. We even planned a date. At least I thought we did. ;(

Reply February 1, 2015, 1:19 pm

Joey

Mia – as I said before, you don’t want any part of that love triangle. It’s probably a blessing. Don’t allow yourself to be taken hostage by your feelings. What exactly are you in love with, him or your feelings for him? Most of the time it’s the latter, not the former. Allow yourself to come down from this properly, and don’t beat yourself up. You’ll get there – but don’t dwell on him.

Reply February 5, 2015, 7:05 am

Rhen

I… have a problem. There’s this guy that I’ve known for almost the whole of my life but we were just like aquaintences and didn’t really talk much. I just knew about his existence and he had his own fair share of relationships but recently we just suddenly started talking alot because of this common topic and gradually it went from just texting to walking home together (we live near each other) just for casual conversations. Then things started to get awkward cause his friends would see me and make teasing remarks. Most of the time, I just simply brush them off and ignore them, but all of a sudden, he just became… cold. He’d just not reply/continue the conversation and I just really hate it when people ignore me. So I shrunk back too and everything just… disappeared. The casual convos, the texting… but he’s a guy. And I don’t understand these creatures, because even when he ignores me, he’d see me in school and drop everything he’s doing just to say “Hi” or wave IF we bumped into each other. Otherwise, he acts as if I’m made of glass and pretends I’m non-existent.

Don’t kill me, but I’m not even 100% sure that I really like him (I’ve never really liked a guy before ;yes, I’m weird and guys don’t even usually see me as a female because I game/swear/have a huge appetite/am a messy person) but I think about him all the time and it’s so lame to admite, but I feel butterflies in my tummy whenever I see him.

If there is even a way to solve this problem, please do help out this poor soul. It is about to drive me insane!!!

Thank you.

Reply January 31, 2015, 7:38 am

Joey

Rhen
Nothing wrong at all with caring for someone, seeing them in a special light. It seems that the walks home, the causal conversations, etc. are what caused you to develop deeper feelings for him. That’s not uncommon at all. Good news is, you can move on and find other guys that are more interested. It’s not that he doesn’t care at all…but perhaps his friends teasing you bothers him too and he wants to keep them away so as not to upset you, but he may still have positive feelings for you, since he acknowledges you at school and what not. He may not be ready to be in a romantic relationship with you though. He may just feel very comfortable with you…which is a good thing. However, you may want to keep some distance in order to protect your heart from going into emotional distress. In the meantime, enjoy being YOU! Sounds like you have amazing qualities – but life is about change and adjustment also. Continue to engross yourself in uplifting and encouraging activities to engage your mind in positive growth. Your brain “remembers” 100% of what you see and hear, and it changes you ultimately – that’s what the neurosurgeons say at least. So, if that’s true then keep the “bad” stuff out as much as possible…focus on loving others and not as much on how they feel toward you. You’ll truly benefit moving forward.

Reply January 31, 2015, 9:49 am

Mia

This guy told me he liked me the other day and j told him that I may like him too! I used to glance his way almost every 20 seconds but I caught myself and decided I would try to fix it cause I think he would think I was creepy. But the catch is that he looked my way the same amount, most of the time we would look into each others eyes and then quickly look away. I fixed it an I try not to look at him as much but now he doesn’t seem so much into me? Do you think he might think I dont like him as much? What should I do without having a deep convo with him?

Reply January 28, 2015, 6:28 pm

Joey

Mia,
He told you he liked you and you said you might like him? I’m not quite sure what that’s all about., but he may be trying to play the same game you are, you know the game, it’s called “I’m crazy about you but I don’t want you to know unless I am 100% sure you are just as crazy about me as I am about you, and even then I probably still won’t want you to notice me checking you out.” That game is lame. Love is about giving more than receiving. If you’re going to explore that with another person, you will end up having to go out on a limb to some degree. Typically its the guy who does the approach, or else they simply won’t get any women, but they FEAR the approach with great horror often times. Women would benefit from learning the signals they can give a man so he knows you are receptive to him moving in for the approach. For example, the next time he looks at you, hold your eye contact for a second, and smile. If he continues to look, push your hair back over your ear and kind of tilt your bare neck toward him, all while making eye contact and smiling. Then look away, then make eye contact again and smile…give him those puppy-dog eyes. He’ll either get it or he won’t. Repeat if necessary. Touch him on the arm as he walks by and when he looks at you say “have a nice day” with a genuine smile. Practice this in the mirror if necessary so it becomes second nature. He’ll get it eventually. If he avoids, he’s either not interested or he’s nervous. If he’s nervous, he’ll avoid repeatedly until he’s 100,000,000% sure you won’t reject him. Keep reassuring him using the methods above.

Reply January 28, 2015, 10:23 pm

Mia

Thanks for the advice, but I just found out that he still “loves” his ex!! How can he tell me he likes me then tell me he is still in love with his ex. And his ex is my best friend…. God! Now i guess I know when we looked at each other I was looking because I thought he was hot and he liked me and he was just looking cause he thinks I’m a creep for looking at him??? Can you help me out. What do you need to know to get this sorted? Anything? I am heartbroken

Reply January 30, 2015, 9:27 pm

Mia

By the way. Reese- the guy I likes ex and my best friend, does not want to get back together with him at all. She will probably never date him again.

Reply January 30, 2015, 9:35 pm

Joey

Mia – well that’s some information I didn’t know. Is your friend Reese ok with you and him dating at all? If she’s your best friend, she may not like that…that’s a love triangle that may not work out well. Plus, he still has feelings for her – sounds like he needs to sort his feelings out first before dating ANYONE, let alone his ex’s best friend. Just be patient…don’t concentrate so much on this guy. If you do, your feelings will push you off an emotional cliff into depression, anxiety, and despair. I wouldn’t recommend entertaining any feelings for this guy – get to know some other guys. Let a good amount of time go by. I dated my best friend’s ex girlfriend many years ago, it worked for a while but there was a couple years of time in between their break up and our first date. Also, her and I were no longer living in the state. He was fine with it…and happy for me. Things have to be in good order before going that route. Generally speaking, as I already said, it’s not a good idea….but it “can” work. Don’t hang on that though. Your life doesn’t depend on whether this guy likes you back or not.

January 31, 2015, 8:37 am

Mia

Thanks. Ugh. I really thought I had something going. And I am really depressed about it. But I guess I’ll have to move on. It may take a while ;(

January 31, 2015, 7:00 pm

Eleanor

okay so I need help .. I liked that guy for about a little bit less than a year . He’s so great and funny and the best of all SINGLE ! I met him at school ! he was my classmate ! then thanks to an art activity we both were partners at ! we became friends .. then best friends ! Its like we were meant to meet .We have the same interests , the same way of thinking , the same personalities and even the same hobbies and skills ! When I look at him its like Im looking at the mirror . Okayy anyways , I want to know whether he likes me or not so here’s some details about his behaviour with/around me .
Okay so he accompanies me everywhere ! Since that boy teased me and he doesn’t let me go anywhere (at the school) without taking him with me ! its so cute .
2- he is a bit jealous at me .. ! he hates when I call 1D cuties ! even though he didn’t admit it ! but I can see it in his eyes ! he also doesn’t like it when I talk to boys or when any boy touches me !
3- We are like tom and jerry ! he teases me .. ALOT ! we never stop teasing eachother whenever we are next to eachother !
4-I was holding something heavy once and asked him to help me so he put his hands on my hands ! and held that thing with me !
5- He sometimes puts my hair behind my ears !
6- He tells me his secrets like he tells me and only me !
7- I caught him staring at me a few times ! and his eyes light up whenever we talk and he never breaks the eye contact between me and him during a conversation !
8- some people at school think that he likes me and sometimes they talk to us as if we were a couple and he doesn’t really deny it ! he just laughs and sometimes blushes !
There are million of things he does but I’m just confused because sometimes he does thinks that make me think that he just doesn’t like me !! so do you think he likes me or we are just bestfriends ? thanks xx

Reply January 27, 2015, 9:41 pm

Joey

Eleanor,
Wow, sounds like you both have great energy together! How long has this been going on between the two of you? I can’t be sure, but if he gets jealous when other guys talk or touch you, that could be a definite sign. The fact that he puts your hair behind your ears is also another good sign too. If he likes you, he may be waiting for the right moment to ask you out. Sometimes the next step can be difficult for the guy because he doesn’t know how to do it, the right time to do it, or if you will reject him. Be patient. It may come, but it also may not. Give him subtle hints that you feel more for him than just “best friends”. Perhaps write him a letter about how great your relationship is and how you want to maybe explore the romantic side? Or maybe keep it casual…just ask him what he’s up to on the weekend and if he wants to go to a nice dinner with you, or something where you can dress up real nice (e.g., semi-formal dress- NOT provocative!). Show a slightly different side of you other than the typical “school clothing” you wear. That may get him into a romantic state of mind. Perhaps a fun dance (if he’s the type). You have some options. Just don’t come off as desperate or needy. Set your boundaries too. If you do go out, and you both get hot and heavy…where’s the line? Beware that exploring the romantic side could possibly destroy your friendship, temporarily or permanently, if it doesn’t work out.

Reply January 28, 2015, 9:43 pm

Mia

This is a great site to get advice! I think Joey is such a great guy to be giving it too! He has helped me with a lot of things and it doesn’t even matter how old you are, every piece of advice he gives works! <3 this site!!

Reply January 26, 2015, 5:29 pm

Joey

Hey thanks a lot for the kind words Mia!!! I’m glad my advice has helped!

Reply January 27, 2015, 9:30 pm

bella

So i’m dating this guy who claims to love me. But he rarely texts, communication between most times is just monosyllabic and 2 mins calls. He doesn’t tell me he loves me, he doesn’t say he misses me, I don’t even know if he misses me cos he hardly ever asks me to come around, when I do go to his place tho, he begs me to spend days with him. He’s not affectionate as in, he calls me by name, hardly suggests an outing or plans our visits doesn’t say I love u or I miss u, hardly uses any endearment on me, am I missing something? We’ve been together for 9months. He says he’s not the emotional type. And he doesn’t like chatting or texting.

Reply January 26, 2015, 2:26 pm

Joey

Bella-
He “claims” to love you but doesn’t say it? That’s a bit confusing…If you’re not happy with his behavior and he doesn’t show interest in changing some things, then 9 months is plenty of time to know whether it’s time to move on. I know you may really be into him, and want to give him a chance, but you’re not married. Marriages go through things like this, and when you’re married one day, you’ll need to be with a partner that doesn’t use excuses as a reason not to WORK at the relationship. Lots of guys don’t like talking on the phone, texting, verbalizing their feelings, setting up dates, etc., but if he wants to keep you he needs to get it together and learn to compromise…or risk losing you. Makes me wonder how he picked you up in the first place. Honestly, leaving him may be the best thing that you can do for him. Who knows, it may just be the “wake-up call” he needs to jumpstart positive change in his life. Good luck!

Reply January 27, 2015, 9:20 pm

Distraught

I met this guy on a dating app, I hadn’t really liked him at first but decided to go on a date with him just to see if we would hit it off and we did, after three dates I had sex with him, and we continued that over a period of to weeks, I then asked him were we stood over the phone, he said he didn’t like labels or did not make commitments easily, i felt like he was feeding me lines and wanted to end it immediately so I told him to make up his mind and call me when he does, he called later and told me he wanted to date me, fast forward a month now , we have been dating,he has introduced me to his stepmother (who he doesnt like) but I havent seen his father (who he has a close relationship with),on the other hand he has met everyone im close to,he is busy at work and I am in school we text a lot and he calls occasionally,he was living at home when I met him and his stepmother basically told him we couldnt have sex under their roof fast forward again I just helped him to move into a new apartment. He is always attentive in the; beginning provides basic necessities- food, medicine when im sick ask me about ma day, but I feel like when we are together in person he never really listens to what I say or that he is closed off most times. e shows me other girls on his phone in scantily outfits and ask questions like ” why would anyone dress like this?, women are getting so daring now a days” or ” you have to see this girl its ridiculous”, Also when I talk to him sometimes he doesn’t even look at me, nor respond and im feeling like the distance is growing, he is like in this little world sometimes and i feel left in the cold, we have been together a month and wonder if im over analyzing things,he also recently spoke to one of his friends for (reference sake call his friend “bob”) about a comment I made on one of bobs pics and refered to me as “this girl” not his “girlfriend” or even by name…quote from the convo “this girl said you looked goo in your picture”.*sigh* I dont know what to do please help

Reply January 23, 2015, 11:28 am

Joey

Sounds like you already have the information you need. I think you know what to do. If not, my advice is: MOVE ON! He’s using you. If you mattered to him, he would’ve introduced you to his dad by now, he’d listen to you, and wouldn’t refer to you as “this girl”. Tell him it’s over. Consider not jumping into bed so early – or at all…unless you don’t mind casual sex and having guys flake out on you. Your intentions are good…but guys too often look at women as objects instead of people. Therefore, you have to play it smarter. Go into relationships with that in mind. Hold to some basic rules and you’ll benefit from it.

Reply January 23, 2015, 9:44 pm

Jackie

My husband just told me the other day he hasn’t been happy for months he misses his daughter and he wants to go he says our past is holding us back from progress which is true but when he announced he was ready to leave it broke me up really bad I have not thought of our past since he said that to me I didn’t know that I was tearing him apart with my accusations and actions, well not enough for him to leave me because I should have been the one to leave and now we are lying in bed together as I type this but I just don’t feel like we gonna be good because he pretended to be happy I didn’t know he was feeling like this I mean I’m confused should I just let this go im33 and he will be 28 soon what to do

Reply January 22, 2015, 10:22 am

Joey

I’m not sure what happened in your past – but is it all in the past? If so, then forgiveness hasn’t taken place for him, so the hurt from the past is in his present. If he’ll ever be able to move on he’ll have to deal with it – and that takes time. If he’s not getting guidance/therapy for that, it may just fester and bleed into another relationship he gets into. Both of you need serious marital counseling. Things can improve, sometimes quickly, but you have to have support – especially from both sides of the family as well. You may want to involve them to some degree and show support around him, not make him feel like getting out is the answer. He probably feels running away will make things “happier” for him, but that’s not usually the case. It’s easier to run than deal with yourself – not to mention someone else. Exhaust your resources. Pray for each other. Revisit your vows (if you had any). Stoke the fire and it can reignite again.

Reply January 22, 2015, 9:19 pm

Elsa

hi cathy,,, your story almost same with me,, he ever say if he want married with me but i am just LAUGH ,,,but actually in my heart i want… he say that with all people,,and all people laugh too…he always imagine if we have children…but i know it now,,,he just kidding not serious… because he has girlfriend…you know cathy …it’s really hurt,,,i hate him…

Reply January 21, 2015, 10:45 pm

Cathy

So, there is this super hot dude I had always been attracted to (still am) and eventually we ended up as best friends. Or so I thought.

I mean, I really really like him. I don’t know about him though. Been reading all the posts on ‘how to tell if a guy likes you’ especially the ones that include ‘through texting’ since we don’t meet up much and been texting everyday. Referring to those posts and his’ texts it seemed like he does like me too.

He told me he liked me a few times but I brushed them off as joke. Was i being stupid? I guess it comes from my own issue because I can never understand how would someone like me. Especially someone like him. There are 2 known women who had been pestering him about wanting to be his girlfriend and he rejected them both. And don’t get me started on those girls who gave a vibe of liking him but never actually said so (maybe it’s my paranoia but really the way those girls looked at him was wayyyy over the line)

back to him, how do i know if he was actually serious? I don’t know if he texts other girls that way. Or if he really text other girls. when I asked him he said he only text me. But I don’t know if I can believe that.

He told me he wanted to marry me the other day and can you believe it I LAUGHED at that? How stupid was I? I was so afraid of losing him I couldn’t say yes to that. But I do know I love him and in all honesty I want that. He always joke around so I always take his words as merely joke – so how do I know if he was joking or was being serious?

Oh god I’m so confused it’s killing me

Reply January 20, 2015, 11:08 pm

Joey

He told you he liked you, but you don’t believe it. He told you he wanted to marry you, and you didn’t believe it. Why? Because he jokes around a lot. What guy would joke around with you like that? I’m not sure how you ended up as “best friends” but you are going to drive yourself nuts if you don’t distance yourself from the “friend zone” thing. Why don’t you just “joke” back with him and say “So…when are we getting married? Where’s my ring? Shouldn’t we go on a date first??” See what he says. If he blows it off, he’s either scared or not interested.

Reply January 21, 2015, 6:16 pm

Mia

So I texted this guy I really like last night and we were perfectly flirting!! Like I was about to explode with happiness cause I didn’t think he was into me. So we ended up planning a date, he was so sweet but then he asked “can you tuck me in?” I felt so weird I thought maybe one of his friends was texting me instead of him to make fun of me. I flipped out and it was actually just him. I felt so bad, I said I was sorry but now he doesn’t seem like he likes me or has time to text me. What should I do? I need an answer asap

Reply January 19, 2015, 5:51 pm

Lindsay

Why does Joey answer some people the day of their post and Mia has been waiting for weeks! Totally not fair.

Reply January 24, 2015, 12:02 pm

Joey

Thanks for saying something Lindsay.

Reply January 24, 2015, 12:48 pm

Joey

Mia
I know this response comes late. Somehow I missed your repeated inquiries…not sure how. I apologize!
It’s hard to say without knowing more about how you reacted to him, but I’m assuming that he may’ve been turned off by your explosion to him joking around. Either way, if he’s interested he’ll be in contact with you. Do you see him somewhere regularly? If so, maybe go up to him and tell him face to face how sorry you are for blowing up, perhaps even take him out to lunch on a weekend. It might sink deeper with him, but as long as you said you were sorry, and it was authentic, I don’t think there’s much else for you to do. In the future, just relax and be calm even if someone is trying to make fun of you. Assume nothing. It’ll make you come off as confident and in control. You will show you can take a joke, or that you’re more mature. Additionally, phone calls will be better than text messages so that you don’t get mixed up on who’s speaking with you.

Reply January 24, 2015, 12:45 pm

Elsa

i definitely need advice..so i have my friend ,, i always talk with him and laugh together with him…until all my friend say with us ” one day me can be his girlfriend ” …but i am just laugh i say we are just friend i think impossible.. because i love with another boy more handsome than him,,,me and him always have competition to get the best rank..and i am so proud with him because he hardwork to pay his school,,, slowly but surely i feel he likes me because when i hangout with my friend i always beside him,,,but now he has a girlfriend,,i am so confuse with my self sometimes i feel jealous sometimes not,,,and since he has girlfriend he never beside me again…. :(

Reply January 19, 2015, 3:40 am

Sara

Go up to him and ask him to talk. Tell him how you feel, things will get better, guys sometimes just need to be told what they are doing cause they don’t realize it!

Reply January 25, 2015, 11:22 am

Ashley

I definitely need advice. So I met a guy on Tinder and I am aware of the skepticism of using an app that has a rep for hook ups. But I thought this was different but, well I met this guy like a few weeks ago. And we were just texting but then he called me and we talked for almost 4 hours on the phone. We had the craziest connection so many things in common. So we finally went out on a date last Friday. And it was good until at the end of the night he rushed in to kiss me and it took me by surprise. So I guess I made it seem like I wasn’t interested. So I messed up there. And ever since then things have been weird I would text him and he wouldn’t reply till like time later. And I finally sent him a text asking him is it that he didn’t like me? And he said not that I made it seem like he was a monster. And I told him he had the wrong idea. That I did want to kiss him but it caught me off guard. I basically told him that I am interested and that I thought there was something there. But that I would let him decide and that it was just one date and that there is no hard feelings. But he never replied to that text. So I guess he’s basically telling me that he’s not interested anymore. But I mean yeah I messed up but it wasn’t that bad. Now he’s ignoring me. It’s like do I have to beg??! I have pride to you know. But I do like him…it’s crazy.

Reply January 18, 2015, 3:03 pm

Louise

Hey Ashley, here is my take on your situation. I think you hurt his pride. You tried to fix it by telling him how you feel about him and you have left the ball in his court. Give him time to sift through his feelings and see if he is still on the same page. If he does like you and want to try again he’ll most likely text you. DO NOT TEXT HIM ANY MORE ABOUT THIS SITUATION! Over texting him about it could be viewed as desperate, pressuring him or your bombarding him. I have BEEN this girl, so i do know that the waiting is painful. If he doesn’t message you in a few days, send a nice hey or what up, then see if he responds if not i would suggest moving on. Like you said i was only one date. All the luck in the world. Louise.

Reply January 18, 2015, 3:14 pm

Ashley

Thank you Louise. That is what I needed to hear.

Reply January 18, 2015, 3:21 pm

Louise

Your welcome Ashely, a wise girl told me that too when I was where you were. If it makes you feel any better i kicked him to the side and now im going on a first date tonight and I am scared shitless. I hate first date lol Louise

Reply January 18, 2015, 4:11 pm

Alice

I need some advice. I’ve read some of your articles on how to tell if he’s not interested versus interested and I have a situation that may encompass both but I can’t tell. I have a co-worker who I’m interested in. We got together for two weeks or so and he told me he was really into me and he went home with me a few times but he said he didn’t want to have sex. After 3 weeks or so, he backed off completely and shut down. He called me one night to apologize for it and tell me that he couldn’t do a relationship and if he kept hanging out with me, he would want one. He told me that he was terrified of a relationship and that there was stuff I didn’t know, etc. but that we should stop hooking up. I was upset because I didn’t know if that meant that we couldn’t hang out as friends either although since it’s been two months since that conversation, I think he meant that. I see him at work every day and he always stares at me and has good body language signs but he doesn’t text me or call me and the only times we hang out are at work events. Since he sent me that text, we’ve gotten together a few sporadic weekend nights but each time we’re intimate, he doesn’t want to be touched that much or have sex but he still wants to be intimate with me. Most of the stuff I read has said move on but if he comes back with me when we don’t have sex, it doesn’t seem like a booty call. I can’t tell if he’s got something else going on emotionally or if these are signs that he really isn’t interested in me anymore.

Reply January 18, 2015, 11:30 am

Meghan

Okay. So I’ve had a crush on this guy for maybe like 2 or 3 years now. We’ve dated, broke up (after like 3 days because he wouldn’t do long distance), and we’ve still managed to be ‘friends’ all this time. I only see him about once a year (if I’m lucky) and after every time we see each other again we start talking more but then as time goes by we just slow to a stop. This past time I saw him was for a three day period time and the WHOLE time he flirted with me. I’m not one to notice a guy flirting with me or even begin to think that he may actually like me, but I was like 99% sure he still had feelings for me. It seemed like every time I turned around he was finding some way to just be around me or make physical contact. I probably shouldn’t have asked if he still liked me, but ii did and his response was “as a friend”.. The only problem with all of that is the fact that he had/has a girlfriend. Which makes things soo much more confusing! So my first question is: Why was he showing all the signs of liking me, saying he doesn’t, and whilst have a gf?
Also, my friend, who is a couple years younger than us, admitted to liking him as well on the last night. (I won’t get into how I felt about that bc that’s another story) Anyway, they exchanged numbers and such and began texting like allllll the time, way more than me and him. Months later from this event and he still ONLY replies to her (occasionally me on like Christmas or something) . Which is my second question: Why on earth is he talking to her but not me? Idk if they have something going on or what, it just bugs me so bad. .. I would really appreciate your help or anyone’s for that matter because I am so confused. Thanks in advance xx

Reply January 17, 2015, 4:28 am

Joey

Meghan,
Ask your friend if they have something going on. Sounds like there’s “something” there if they’re texting a lot…but it may just be texting and nothing more. Don’t worry yourself too much about what those two are or aren’t doing. Focus on who you are, your life, and what you are doing. I know it must hurt to see him give more attention to someone else (especially your friend) after giving you a lot of attention, and the feelings must run deep since this crush has been going on for several years now. It’s natural. I wouldn’t put a lot of stock into flirting and what it all means though. If he has a woman, then by all means let them have space. He shouldn’t be in a committed relationship with one girl then flirting like he does with you and your friend anyway. Ask yourself if you want to be with a guy like that. Can you imagine him flirting with your friend if you and him were together? However, girls and guys can look at flirting differently. For me, I may joke around with lots of girls…but at the same time not have a romantic interest. I just feel real comfortable with them and have good energy, but I wouldn’t consider it flirting. However there are times where I’ll act the same way but I do have a romantic interest, and I may show other signs like hugging them, rubbing their back quick, touching them on arm/side, etc. Not all guys are the same…and it can be confusing. For that, I’m truly sorry!!
Anyway, for you, there are a couple ways to take things from here. First, you can just move on. You’ve spent a good amount of energy and time longing for this guy, and he’s clearly not on the same page. Perhaps he’ll develop more interest over time and start talking with you more, but until then do your own thing. Besides, you don’t want to be caught in a weird love triangle between you, your girlfriend, and him…do you? Also, he’s long distance, which will only put strain on a possible relationship. Second, you could just come out and tell him how you feel. Perhaps write him a letter explaining everything, or just a face to face or phone conversation. It puts you out there he’ll know exactly how you feel. He already told you he likes you “just as friends” and he doesn’t text you much, so it sounds like you already know where he stands, but perhaps you don’t accept it yet? This is my best advice to you. Hope it helps!

Reply January 17, 2015, 3:43 pm

Claire

The other week I went out to a bar that I’ve been to before with my husband. We’ve been having challenges in our marriage, talked about them openly, and contemplated splitting up. He left me all alone for the night, and went off talking with his friends, etc. During this time, I’d been chatting up the bartender when he leaned across the bar, grabbed my hands, and told me that he wanted to have sex with me. I’d noticed him eyeballing me before, so I wasn’t totally surprised. Then throughout the night, he’d touch my back when he walked by me, etc. I was doing a little flirting back, when out of the blue he said, “I could go along with this, but you’re married, and I respect your husband.” He totally cut it off. Was he just playing around to see “if” he could get me?? What a weirdo. Any thoughts, people?

Reply January 16, 2015, 2:30 am

Joey

Claire,
He was sexually attracted to you but decided not to be a home wrecker. Good decision on his part. Do yourself a favor and work at your marriage until you have exhausted all your resources. Involve your family and his for extra support. Marriages are for better or worse, and it’s possible to rekindle it if you both decide to do it. Get some counseling if need be. Don’t just give up. Honor your vows until the end – whether it’s death or divorce.

Reply January 16, 2015, 5:45 pm

Claire

Hi Joey, Thanks for your reply. I think you’re right. Sometimes it’s hard to navigate a situation when you’re so invested and involved, and feel like you’re running out of options. Having a totally objective, 3rd party opinion is really valuable. ‘Night!

Reply January 17, 2015, 3:47 am

Joey

Thanks Claire! I can imagine it can be very difficult to work through. You have many options left it seems. Don’t let feelings be your guide – commit with your actions/words, the feelings may follow later. There’s hope left. I wish you the best!

Reply January 22, 2015, 9:28 pm

Andrea

I started talking to a guy a few months ago. I’ve known him since high school and we ran into each other and clicked. We spent practically every weekend and the holidays together. He tells me he really likes me and loves hanging out with me. I just recently noticed his phone is always on silent and he became friends with an ex girlfriend on FB. I had a gut feeling he was chatting with her. This girl is married and he said it’s nothing like that. He said I am not his gf and he has many friends that r girls that he talks to. He said his intentions were not to hurt me because he really likes me and likes being with me. I told him I’m hurt and I need some time and space. I’m not sure what to think or do or if he will ask me to forgive him. Another thing his birthday is coming up and I planned a party for him as well as bought concert tickets for the following month. What do you suggest I do?

Reply January 14, 2015, 6:01 pm

Joey

If you’re not in a committed relationship with him, what did he do wrong? Sounds like you developed a deep connection with him already, which is why you might be a little tense about him chatting up his ex, and other girls he knows. He might be playing the field, trying to see where the deep connection will develop for him. He already has made a connection with you – as he said he really likes to spend time with you. When you’re ready, you can start seeing him again if that’s what you want. You may want to cancel the party and go to the concert with someone else though. If/when you do see him again, be cordial, be loving, be honest. Don’t hold grudges. Make sure to put up strict boundaries though until you get the commitment you’re looking for from him. If that means no sex, then no sex. If it means no kissing, then no kissing, etc. He’ll respect that. If he doesn’t, then he doesn’t respect you. In the mean time, chat up some other guys. Good luck Andrea

Reply January 14, 2015, 9:18 pm

Nancy Kingu

Hlw pls help…..another girl posts pictures of my boyfriend or uses his pictures like her profile pictureon social medias when i ask him he says she only wants to cause peoples attention..i dont know what to do pleas

Reply January 9, 2015, 5:35 am

common_sense

Close down your social media account. Problem solved.

Reply January 11, 2015, 12:32 pm

Yaz

I met this guy in one of my classes and we ended up being in the same group for an assignment. However, we didn’t really start talking till after the semester was over at which he had asked me out three different times. For each time I couldn’t make it due to work, getting ill (I had let him know the day before the date that I wouldn’t make it), and seeing family as it was over the holidays and I very seldom get to see my relatives. We had finally worked out a date but seeing that I had came from work, I was extremely tired and I think it just made me seem uninterested the whole time. A week later he texts me, but I was a bit taken aback by it because I thought he had moved on. He basically went on to asking me out again. I had told him that I wouldn’t mind seeing him again but January was a really packed month for me, even worst than December had been (the month when we were trying to work out a day). He responded with a ‘if you won’t want to see me anymore it’s fine…’ and I replied with a ‘trust me, I would have let you know that I didn’t want to see you anymore, I just don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep’.

When I get into something with someone I don’t like having my time wasted as I am pretty busy as is. But with a ‘girl’s reputation’ of saying, ‘I can’t, I’m busy’ can mean, ‘I don’t want to see you anymore’ is linked together, it can get confusing and I think it happened with this guy. I also have a hard time with showing emotion at times and during our date, I wasn’t really 100% there with how tired I was. However, before the date, we had flirted over text quite a bit (which I’m also horrible at, but I tried my best) and I really did want to spend more time with him. He had also initiate most of the text message conversations.

He did not respond to the last message about me not wanting to make promises that I can’t keep, but I know for a fact he opened it (it was done through snapchat… Don’t judge). I texted him the next day saying ‘what is your schedule like? If you’d like, we can try to work something out?’ No response. I mean I wouldn’t want to be chasing someone either who constantly made excuses to see me but they were legitimate, I would tell him sometimes how swamped I would be at my internship or how tired I would be after work after picking up extra hours. I actually would want to see him again but I feel as if my emotionless facade made him think otherwise? We currently have no classes together this semester and it would be very unlikely for me to bump into him as the school is quite large. Is reaching out to him twice over text enough and just let everything fall as it should or should I make an extra effort to work something out? Advice?

Reply January 8, 2015, 7:58 pm

Joey

Sounds like you’re very busy and you don’t have the time and energy to devote to a man. Don’t worry about turning guys away, they’ll respect it if that’s the truth. In a relationship, you have to have time for each other, and if you don’t, you need to MAKE time by pushing other things out of the way. The busyness of life will always find ways to fill up your schedule. What about time for YOU? Time alone with your thoughts, to reflect…you know, like quiet time. You need that too. Reduce things in your life to the bare essentials. Concentrate on school, your internship, and your personal time. Don’t try to squeeze a guy into your busy schedule – that’s not right. Remember, you’re the one who decided to attend school full time, so that’s on you. Commit to it. See it through until the end. If you are always tired after school/work, then you need to focus more on your sleep, nutrition, exercise, etc. Your mind, body, and soul will benefit, then you can focus more on your other relationships after.

Reply January 9, 2015, 7:45 am

Mia

Hi so I have been interested in this guy on and off for the last year. He is funny and outgoing and really hot but I don’t know if he likes me. First he almost hated me it seemed like and then he seemed like he likes me and wanted to get closer to me and talk to me. This was about Two weeks ago. We had plans for him to teach me how to ski cause of course in all of my years I haven’t been skiing. I got really exited and I got a cute new coat and everything. I went to practice one day so I wouldnt embarrass myself. Now he looks at me like he did before but he doesn’t say hi or talk to me at all. I really like him but it doesn’t seem as if he is interested at all. Do I keep trying? Act like I don’t “like” him? Or just keep doing what I am doing aka feeling weird about the whole situation? Should I even bother asking if he is still up for the ski trip? I asked if he was up for it a week ago and I don’t want to nag. Help?

Reply January 7, 2015, 4:19 pm

Mia

Can someone help me? Please . I need an answer ASAP

Reply January 10, 2015, 9:36 pm

Paul

Go up to him and say “I’m really looking forward to that ski trip so is everything ready to go” in a positive and cheery voice. If he is cold and doesn’t give any firm details then leave it at that and don’t talk to him anymore.

Reply January 14, 2015, 2:09 am

Joey

I agree with Paul. If he’s as great as you make him sound, he probably has other girls in his life that think the same way about him as you do, or perhaps he’s just busy and maybe forgot. Just gently remind him of the plans. If he seems aloof or uninterested in following through with his agreement – you may want to move on.

Reply January 14, 2015, 7:28 am

Mia

Hi so I have Ben interested in this guy on and off for the last year. He is funny and outgoing and really hot but I don’t know if he likes me. First he almost hated me it seemed like and then he seemed like he likes me and wanted to get closer to me and talk to me. This was about Two weeks ago. We had plans for him to teach me how to ski cause of course in all of my years I haven’t been skiing. I got really exited and I got a cute new coat and everything. I went to practice one day so I wouldnt embarrass myself. Now he looks at me like he did before but he doesn’t say hi or talk to me at all. I really like him but it doesn’t seem as if he is interested at all. Do I keep trying? Act like I don’t “like” him? Or just keep doing what I am doing aka feeling weird about the whole situation? Should I even bother asking if he is still up for the ski trip? I asked if he was up for it a week ago and I don’t want to nag. Help?

Reply January 7, 2015, 4:18 pm

louise

Hi. So I have been dating this guy B for three months. When I met him he told me I he only wanted casual dating. I was okay with that at the time. Then we say each other pretty much 1-3 times a week. He works shift work so some times its more than others. We slept together on our third date and we watched a tone of of movies. We had a fight about where this wad going. He said i wasnt giving us a vhance beacuse i wanted to know that if in three to six months if i asked him to be my bf wpuld.he say yes or automatic just fwb. He got mad and i told him i was not giving up on us just dont wanna break my heart. This lead to text silence for a day then a convo in person and i thought he would end it soon. However he kept spending time with me. He told me how his ex finace was not supportive of him.He came to meet my friends on Halloween. An in November I asked him too meet my family. He said he felt it was too soon. I told him I have never asked a person to meet my family before and I don’t want to pressure him. He then came to an ugly sweater party with me in December as well as two other parties where he even came and met my family. We had our own Christmas and when one of his female friends dropped by with gifts randomly. He got flustered. It didn’t bother me and I told him that. He told me that he thinks she likes him and that she knows he is dating me and that this is why he didn’t want a relationship. I should have called him on that there but I was so excited that he final said he was dating me. By this point he as told me i could keep shampoo at his house and he never commented on if i left something there. He merely said it was there when i needed it. I made sure to take it home with me next time. Before he came to the christmas party i askef him if i could call him my bf yet but he ignoref it. He also pointed out one time that he thinks my friend M likes me. I said no. He seemed realived.
He left for Christmas and we texted through out. He even told me the loved how good I am too him as well as comforting me when my grandfather was sick. He was always does when I’m worried. He even jked about it with my family. Some days we text more then others over the Christmas break. However near the end I found it was more me then him. But he would send me a message. i also asked him to come to dinner with two different sets of friend and a new years drink with just us when he got back and he said he could do that. He also would not say goodnight as much. But if I didn’t get answer it didn’t bug me I’d msged him if I thought of something funny or something he’d like. Maybe too much
We pretty much have talked everyday since I met him. But then he’d said he be home Sunday or Monday. Sunday he texted for a bit then nothing I said goodnight like normal but hockey was on and I always get ignored when hockey. Nothing was too we did he refused to call me my name because everyone else called me that so he calls me hun pretty girl or girl or babe which he was still doing until this morning. Then he told me that he wasn’t home that he was in niagara falls. I said ok well I guess I’ll see you when you get back. He didn’t answer so I may have sent too more msges then told him to have a goodnight. He said “you have a goodnight too. I’m turning my phone off so I don’t get bombarded while I’m in Niagara falls”. I had a mini melt down in my doctors office in the back room. I was sure he was seeing someone else. By the this point he had not flat out told me we were dating each other. I just had the one earlier comment.
I Went to my bffs for dinner and she pointed out roaming charges. I said oh right. Then an hour later he was on facebook and said the only reason his phone was on was for hockey. He even made plans with his bff which is fine I can stay busy without him and he hasn’t seen Alex in a while. Then this girl posted pictures of them. I was like okay. He has lots of female friends and cousins so okay and he was wearing the shirt I bought him in the pic. I liked a few pics and turned off my computer. I was able to sleep and I turned to my phone and she posted more. 32+ ppl liked the one image. A few commented. And she said when they asked who he was she said ” B. ( : ) ) he’s such a sweet heart”. She also posted a pick of him kissing her cheek. He was still wearing a he shirt i bought him. I creeped her (not my finer moment) a little bit and he has know her for a while. He doesnt call her any pet names i can see. Hes called me hun on fb a couple times for all to see but none on hers. So i msged him and said hey id like to talk with you when you get back. Now what? What’s going on? What do I say now that I’m calm. I even called him over Christmas. Phones scare me so it was a big deal. He knows too because he knows my phone feelings and he prefers it
I am however resloved to not message him again till he messages me.

Reply January 6, 2015, 4:32 am

louise

Hi. So I have been dating this guy B for three months. When I met him he told me I he only wanted casual dating. I was okay with that at the time. Then we say each other pretty much 1-3 times a week. He works shift work so some times its more than others. We slept together on our third date and we watched a tone of of movies. We had a fight about where this wad going. He said i wasnt giving us a vhance beacuse i wanted to know that if in three to six months if i asked him to be my bf wpuld.he say yes or automatic just fwb. He got mad and i told him i was not giving up on us just dont wanna break my heart. This lead to text silence for a day then a convo in person and i thought he would end it soon. However he kept spending time with me. He told me how his ex finace was not supportive of him.He came to meet my friends on Halloween. An in November I asked him too meet my family. He said he felt it was too soon. I told him I have never asked a person to meet my family before and I don’t want to pressure him. He then came to an ugly sweater party with me in December as well as two other parties where he even came and met my family. We had our own Christmas and when one of his female friends dropped by with gifts randomly. He got flustered. It didn’t bother me and I told him that. He told me that he thinks she likes him and that she knows he is dating me and that this is why he didn’t want a relationship. I should have called him on that there but I was so excited that he final said he was dating me. By this point he as told me i could keep shampoo at his house and he never commented on if i left something there. He merely said it was there when i needed it. I made sure to take it home with me next time. Before he came to the christmas party i askef him if i could call him my bf yet but he ignoref it. He also pointed out one time that he thinks my friend M likes me. I said no. He seemed realived.
He left for Christmas and we texted through out. He even told me the loved how good I am too him as well as comforting me when my grandfather was sick. He was always does when I’m worried. He even jked about it with my family. Some days we text more then others over the Christmas break. However near the end I found it was more me then him. But he would send me a message. i also asked him to come to dinner with two different sets of friend and a new years drink with just us when he got back and he said he could do that. He also would not say goodnight as much. But if I didn’t get answer it didn’t bug me I’d msged him if I thought of something funny or something he’d like. Maybe too much
We pretty much have talked everyday since I met him. But then he’d said he be home Sunday or Monday. Sunday he texted for a bit then nothing I said goodnight like normal but hockey was on and I always get ignored when hockey. Nothing was too we did he refused to call me my name because everyone else called me that so he calls me hun pretty girl or girl or babe which he was still doing until this morning. Then he told me that he wasn’t home that he was in niagara falls. I said ok well I guess I’ll see you when you get back. He didn’t answer so I may have sent too more msges then told him to have a goodnight. He said “you have a goodnight too. I’m turning my phone off so I don’t get bombarded while I’m in Niagara falls”. I had a mini melt down in my doctors office in the back room. I was sure he was seeing someone else. By the this point he had not flat out told me we were dating each other. I just had the one earlier comment.
I Went to my bffs for dinner and she pointed out roaming charges. I said oh right. Then an hour later he was on facebook and said the only reason his phone was on was for hockey. He even made plans with his bff which is fine I can stay busy without him and he hasn’t seen Alex in a while. Then this girl posted pictures of them. I was like okay. He has lots of female friends and cousins so okay and he was wearing the shirt I bought him in the pic. I liked a few pics and turned off my computer. I was able to sleep and I turned to my phone and she posted more. 32+ ppl liked the one image. A few commented. And she said when they asked who he was she said ” B. ( : ) ) he’s such a sweet heart”. She also posted a pick of him kissing her cheek. He was still wearing a he shirt i bought him. I creeped her (not my finer moment) a little bit and he has know her for a while. He doesnt call her any pet names i can see. Hes called me hun on fb a couple times for all to see but none on hers. So i msged him and said hey id like to talk with you when you get back. Now what? What’s going on? What do I say now that I’m calm. I even called him over Christmas. Phones scare me so it was a big deal. He knows too because he knows my phone feelings and he prefers it
I am however resloved to not message him again till he messages me. Also she lives super far away. And this is the first time I have ever seen her on his fb.

Reply January 6, 2015, 4:37 am

louise

Sorry for the double post. Phone issues

Reply January 6, 2015, 4:57 am

Joey

Louise – he’s not committed to you. In future relationships, if you can’t talk face to face then use the phone more instead of texting so much. You need to beat your fear of phones. So much is lost in a text message. Don’t waste any more time thinking of this guy. It sounds like after having sex on the 3rd date that you tried to establish some boundaries, but he didn’t like it. You may not have realized it, but by doing that you caused him to reveal his true colors. I applaud you for trying to draw the line, that’s usually what the guy should do, but this is 21st century western society. It would’ve been better if you established the boundaries right from the get-go. Telling a man no sex until committment may make them move on pretty quickly if they don’t value you. A few may try to slither their way in anyway, enticed by the challenge. Also, if you saw a recent picture of him kissing another girl, even on the cheek, it’s a big red flag that he’s not committed to you. Move on and consider it a lesson learned – set those boundaries asap and you’ll filter all the wrong guys out of your life.

Reply January 6, 2015, 7:51 pm

Louise

Hey Joey,
Thanks for the advice it was the kick in the pants i need to tell him how i felt and that I need time to myself and maybe I’d come back and be his friend later in a couple months or so. Probs not lol he finally fessed up that he likes her and me and he stated in his own words that he is not seeing anyone. Not sure hes happy that i called him on his bs and deleted him from fb for now. I couldn’t handle the picture of them. I just feel bad for her because I feel free now and I have a feeling she is even more into him then I was. Now is see everything clearly and you are night I was nothing but the girl on the side to him. So for the last two weeks I have been working on my self. Lost 7 pounds with 23 more to go. I posted an after gym picture on my online dating account and so far this week my account has gotten spammed. Not sure why. if you could fill me in on that i would love some in site. So far there have been duds but I took your advice and if they mention sex right away I walk. I am up front with what i want and I even have accepted the new moto no sex before commitment. I have already weeded out one. But there are two hopefuls lol signed Louise ps. im happy!.

Reply January 18, 2015, 12:33 pm

Joey

Good for you Louise! Sounds like you’ve had some success already with setting boundaries with guys. I’m glad you’ve taken it upon yourself to get in shape also. I don’t have much advice as to why your online dating account got spammed. Not all dating sites are what they seem though. Do some reviews on which are the best ones, you may have more success. Most guys, unfortunately, are there to find sex, and if lucky a lifelong partner. Be patient. Work on a better you. Stick to your boundaries. The right man will come along in time, but until then enjoy your single life!

January 23, 2015, 7:26 am

Jenn

So my boyfriend and I have had our ups and downs but recently I have been the only one that says “I love you” anymore. When I approached him about it. He tells me that he just didn’t feel like saying it.. So I have been asking myself. Does he love me? I think he does because about a month ago he told me that he really does love me but now he doesn’t say it anymore.

Reply January 3, 2015, 4:05 am

Joey

Jenn – You’re not alone. Married couples go through this too. How does he treat you besides that? Does he show you he loves you by his actions? If he didn’t love you, what then? I’m not sure how long you’ve been dating, how old you both are, etc. There’s a lot of possibilities and without knowing more it’s hard to tell. Maybe he’s depressed. Maybe he’s feeling like the relationship is at a point where he needs to decide to take it to the next level – or break up. It’s possible you’ve given him too much of yourself without drawing some boundaries, and now he’s become complacent. Perhaps he loves the sex, the companionship, the attention, but doesn’t feel love for you as a person. Does he have feelings for someone else? It could be a combination of things. Don’t be discouraged. I look at love like a fire, it will burn hot and furiously at first, then it burns down to a steady flame, then eventually it will be just a pile of ashes. Most people think this is the point of “we don’t love each other anymore”, but it doesn’t have to be. Many times the fire looks like it’s out, but underneath the ashes it’s still hot and can be reignited by feeding the fire carefully with some small branches and paper to get it going again…then you can add the big pieces of wood. What does this mean? Your relationship may need some WORK, like boundaries, counsel, one-on-one communication, etc. Be careful not to place blame on him or act like he’s having issues or it may discourage him. If he doesn’t want to go to work in his relationship with you, or gives a poor effort and complains, that should send you a message loud and clear. Ask yourself if you want to be involved with someone who doesn’t give an effort. Think about being married to someone like that and what it could do to you. You may want to give it some time, but since you’re not married you don’t owe it to him. I hope this advice helps!

Reply January 5, 2015, 10:42 pm

Eva

Hi, so for 6 months I’ve been sleeping on and off with this guy, B. I was his first, he’s also 2 years younger than me, I’m 18. Basically he’s really attractive and sexy, he knows it as well. We’ve had to have our whole ‘thing’ in secret because his sister is my friend and his family is extremely religious. Anyways he’s been acting really rude and disrespectful for a while now and I always let it pass but I’m getting tired of it, yet I always go back to him. First he calls me bitch all the time and only calls me to have sex and then leaves, but then at other times we secretly see each other at a party and actually hang out. He invited me over once to chill at his and it was really good, no sex, until I drunk told him that I made out with his best friends a few months ago during our ‘relationship’. He was really mad but after a week he was fine with both his friend and me. We were at a party a few weeks ago and he offered to take me home instead of getting a ride with my friends and when I got to my house he whispered I love you. I didn’t say anything and I think he thought j didn’t hear and it was fine. Yet he saw me again 2 days later only for sex and he kept whispering I love you after we finished having sex, this time we were with his best friend in the living room. I didn’t say it back and he just laughed and said he only likes me and that I just got ‘friend zoned’. I just brushed it off and we kept cuddling. We didn’t see each other after that, I texted him a few times but I felt like I was doing all the effort. Especially since he didn’t even want to buy me the morning after pill and rudely texted ‘go get it yourself’. He didn’t call for New Years either, we’re now in different places. He’s in Egypt and I’m in Dubai for the holidays but still.
I honestly don’t know what to do, does he like me? Should I just move on? Why did he say I love you if I never asked him to or made him feel forced to? Is he just playing me to hurt me to get back for kissing his best friend? Help!!!

Reply January 2, 2015, 2:01 pm

Joey

Eva – He likes your body, the sex, and some of the attention you give him. The fact that he’s religious, treats you terribly, and that you’re keeping this from his sister all weighs on your conscious, in my opinion. This is simple: move on. It won’t be easy, but you must cut him off. The fact that he says I love you then jokingly says you are just a friend really shows how immature he is. Guys will say they love you if they feel it, don’t ever think you have to ask him or force him to say it. It should always be a genuine and unforced thing. There are better guys for you – trust me. Let him grow up.

Reply January 2, 2015, 8:40 pm

Eva

Thank you so much for replying!!! It’s really helpful, honestly. And no I never asked him to say I love you, he knows I don’t believe in it at this age either, yet he said it just out of the blues. Anyways thank you again!!

Reply January 3, 2015, 5:00 am

mockingjane

Hi,please help me decode how this guy feels about me.I have a longtime boyfriend and he knows it.We just met several months ago in the office and he is actually not appealing to me.He seems so full of himself and has a very high standards when it comes to the girl he wanted to be with.Well to cut the story short,during this pass few weeks he started acting weird to me,he teased me nonstop (he plays my hair,he laughs at everything i say,when we are in a group he always walk behind me,he always find a way to talk to me through one my co worker who is also my seatmate whenever he got a chance,he started to act as a gentleman which Ive never noticed before) but if theres just the two of us he act as if he didnt notice me,he always smile whenever i look at him,some of our co workers noticed this too but whenever they say something about it he just act as if he doesnt hear anything.Its weird because after he ask for my number he didnt text me anything, he also says that he didnt want to add me in Facebook because he is not that type of guy,he just wait for other people to add him.He is very weird that sometimes I want to set my mind not to talk to him for the rest of the day.

Reply January 2, 2015, 12:47 pm

Joey

mockingjane – So you have a long time boyfriend, you’re not interested in this coworker guy, yet….you want to know how he feels about you? Who cares. Move on. Guys sometimes like to flirt with girls at work. It’s easy, fun, and convenient. He may have the hots for you, he may not. He might want to explore things with you romantically, have sex with you, or just get your attention. He might be nervous around you when it’s just the two of you. Who knows, it doesn’t matter. Stop analyzing how he acts towards you. Concentrate on the relationship you’re in now…and if you’re interested in exploring relationships with other guys, then you MUST break up with your current man. How would you like it if the roles were reversed with your current bf?

Reply January 2, 2015, 9:09 pm

ROSE

Hi, i started dating a guy i was working with, he was in he’s last stages of he’s ex relationship. It was a long relationship between them and broke up when they were about to get married. I shows love and cares for me but he’s still with contact with he’s ex. He saying because she is trying walkout of the relationship and its hard for her so he needs to help her out. She contacts and texts him often and so does he. I checked her social media sites and when she got to know it she had questioned him about it. He was so mad at me and recently too he said i screwed things up by doing checking her profile and stuff. He had said he will never do anything like that to her and he said that because he said i don’t want to just tell her off cuz it will hurt her feelings. I have met he’s family and he’s the one actually told me all these things about what he told when she questioned i checked her profile, Please help me. I love him a lot but i’m bit confused on he’s actions.

Reply January 2, 2015, 5:48 am

Olly

Get out of it fast. They will be back together very soon. Are you sleeping with him

Reply January 2, 2015, 6:04 am

dayja

so i liked this guy in sixth grade and i still do given im n sevnth but he is givin me mixed signs what to do

Reply December 27, 2014, 1:39 pm

Joey

Start conversations with him, maybe write him a letter. Get to know him. Perhaps you both can eat lunch together at school, just the two of you. Find out what his likes/dislikes are and perhaps buy him/make him a gift related to that. Maybe a custom t-shirt or something. You are both very young…his romantic feelings for girls in general may take more time to develop. In the meantime, do the same thing with a few other boys. Talk with them, complement them, ask them questions. Boys need the practice. Some will respond well, some may act aloof because they don’t know what to do, or what your intentions are. Just relax, have fun, enjoy your life before all the responsibilities come, and get to know people! Good luck!

Reply December 28, 2014, 6:31 pm

Amy

I am a junior in high school and i have a Crush on a guy for a year now. We known each other for two years and we have texted each other frequently. I would usually wait for him to text me first. However whenever we see each other in school, it would be awkward and we would not talk. Just a few months back, we have gotten closer and texted quite frequently and then suddenly he tild me he likes me. He is nice and friendly and he likes to make this type of jokes to girls. Hence i did not believe him at first and i told my friends about it. They told me that he sounded quite serious but wasnt sure an told me to ask him. And i did. He said he was serious an i told him i like him back but did not want a r/s. It was very awkward. Then he blocked me for a day. The next day he started the convo and pretended nothing had happen. Then for the next two weeks we texted each other almost everyday and flirted. But i was quite mean to him in a joking way. Then he said i was very mean and that he did not like me. I was very angry and embarrassed. He tried to calm me down by sending me pick up lines and telling me to reply him but i did not. After that, i calmed down and tried to talk to him but He ignored me for 3 months even when i apologised. However, recently i tried to start a convo with him and replied me and we talked as though nothing ha happened. Then he asked me to ask him if he likes me but i refused because i believed that he doesnt like me and wanted to embarrass me again. I asked him why he ignore me for so long and he said because i was mean to him. Then he asked me to get into a r/s with him again but he did not confess to me, he just asked me and said he is really serious this time and it was different from the last. I did not believe him and he asked me for the answer for the next two days. I said no incase it was a troll and after i said no he ignored me for a day. Then he asked me to hang out several times but i rejected as i could not make it. However, sometimes he would just “K” me and ignore me when i did nothing wrong. I’m confused whether he likes me ornot because he is quite a flirty guy,help.

Reply December 27, 2014, 6:48 am

Joey

Yeah, he’s flirty, but he’s putting a lot of time into phone conversations, texts, etc. and you keep giving him the cold shoulder because you’re afraid he doesn’t like you? You need to have a face to face conversation with this guy so you can get better acquainted with him. Texts are shady – you can’t get to know someone through texts very well. It’s been over a year since you’ve had a crush on him. It’s time to move forward or leave it alone. He’s tried to get you into a relationship but you have rejected that because you’re being safe. Go on a few dates with him, maybe to the mall or lunch on weekends. It will get easier. Don’t worry about trolling – be yourself. Stick to your own values and don’t let your feelings for him make you so weak that you do whatever he wants. You’ll find out quick whether this guy is genuine or whether he just wants sex, but you won’t be able to move forward unless you decide to get to know him…or just cut him off completely and move on.

Reply December 27, 2014, 10:36 am

Madison

So I’ve known this guy for about two years now. I rarely see him because he lives a few hours away (we met through a mutual friend at a party). I had a little crush just because I thought he was cute, but I didn’t try to pursue it further.
We used to text only every few months or so.
But I went to a party recently with that mutual friend, and the guy was there. The whole night, he was teasing me, touching me, and just flirting a lot.
Since that party, we’ve been speaking to each other a lot more, almost every day.
Also, now he lives a lot closer than he did when I first met him (he’s started going to a college nearby).
Unfortunately, I know he’s a very flirty guy in general—or, at least, he was. But he told our mutual friend sometime before the party that he knows he’s a flirt and he feels really awful about hurting people, and that he’s trying to change.
I don’t know how I should feel about this. Obviously, I don’t want to get hurt and he is quite the charmer, but I don’t know if he’s really sticking with his plan to change or if he just returned to his old ways…

Reply December 26, 2014, 1:31 pm

Joey

Is it ok for a guy to be interested in more than one girl? I think it is…however if he’s flirting with multiple girls within the same room, it could be a turn off to a woman. You want to feel like you’re the only one he’s interested in. He wants to cast as much bait as possible and see who bites. It can also just be playful flirting, not romantic flirting. Other times it can be he wants attention from women without having to settle for one. We can guess all we want, but we may never know for sure. Seems like you are trying to protect yourself from being hurt. That’s understandable. I would probably feel the same way if I liked a girl that was a big flirt. Don’t judge him on that trait alone, but remain cautious. He would have to practice more restraint with that if he dated you, and who knows how successful that would be. Imagine being at a party with him as your bf, and he was still flirting with all the girls! That’d be mortifying. If he’s serious about you he’ll take it beyond flirting. Maybe propose he do something instead of just playing games. Take you out like a real man would. If he doesn’t, then you know he’s not serious. Say something like “So, when are you going to ask me out? Are you too afraid to commit to anything beyond flirting?” That’ll separate the men from the boys.

Reply December 26, 2014, 10:47 pm

Sapphire

Okay so this guy liked me for about 4 months. Then I decided to give him a chance because he told me how much he liked me then I realized that I fell in love with his personality. But then I told I liked him and then I told him about a personal secret with depression thing and he’s like I don’t want to date you because of that reason and like okay that’s stupid… He didn’t talk to me for about 4 days then I said we are friends nothing more right? and he’s like yea I guess. It’s like he lost all interest in me right after I fell for him!!! Please help I’m so, so confused.

Reply December 25, 2014, 3:48 am

Joey

Sapphire,
I see two ways of looking at this: 1.) This guy doesn’t like you at all – he only liked his idea of you…the “perfect” girl with no problems and you shattered that for him. Or 2.) This is a red flag for him, maybe because he’s had past experience with dating women like that, or it just seems to him that you’re not relationship worthy if you’re suffering with clinical depression. He may think you should seek professional help for it first before you try exploring a relationship with him.
You can choose how you approach this. One way will be beneficial for you as a person, the other won’t be. My suggestion, is that if you’re truly hurting because of depression, then make sure you’re seeking help for it, via counseling, group therapy, improved diet, other life changes, etc. You can also disregard it and just move on without changing anything. You have to realize that depression will come and go in your life – it can be healthy and useful as long as its not for extended periods of time, because it can make you physically ill. I’m not sure what’s going on in your life, but work on improving your mental/physical health first – live outwardly and don’t focus inwardly so much (easier said than done). A better you will arise in time, if you make better choices day by day, but complacency will destroy you. Find encouragement through books, poems, music, friendship, family, forgiveness, God, prayer, and giving to others. Don’t leave a stone unturned. Exhaust your resources and challenge yourself. It won’t be easy, but it will yield peaceable fruit in due time. If you focus your time/energy on why a guy suddenly doesn’t like you, you will sink further. Let him go and refocus your life, there’s a lot of work to be done…but enjoy the journey and all its lessons. I wish you the best.

Reply December 26, 2014, 8:11 pm

rue

Thank you for the great advice, including those found in the comments.
I do have a confusing situation that maybe someone could share some insight on, however… Why would a guy (whom I’ve had a crush on for some time) be sweet as could be to me one day, and treat me as less than a friend the next? He throws all the signs that he likes me one day (messing with me, trying to make me laugh, offer me support, convince me to join him on a trip), and the next day he could display signs otherwise… (ignoring, not wanting me around, hugging everyone in our group of friends as we say goodbye while avoiding me, messing with me in a more mean/rude tone). When a friend told me that this guy does like me, I gave little hints, being extra sweet to him (baked him a cake for his birthday, to which he responded nonchalantly). I know I should just give up and force myself to get over him. But why is he like this?

That, and the fact that guys view and treat me as the (and I quote from one guy friend) “cute, innocent, sweet little sister who has to be protected”…. I do look young for my 21 years, but I act maturely. I may be friendly and sweet, and I appreciate the brotherly love they give me and the fact that they trust me enough to share their relationship woes, but when they sometimes get my heart while acting as if they do like me as a little something more, flirting a little, and then put me back to that “sister/friend-zone” again, it does hurt. I explained this to one guy friend, and he said that it’s just how it is… “you’re one of the nicest girls; we can’t corrupt you with a relationship” — I don’t mean to be less than humble, it’s exactly what he said. And I’ve been in a relationship before — the guy was not very good to me, to say the least — so much for not being corrupted by one. So how do I get out of this “sweet little sister-friend zone”?

Reply December 22, 2014, 2:38 pm

Joey

Rue –
I wouldn’t worry yourself about getting out of any type of “zone”. I bet many of these guys are just looking for a sexual hook-up, hence why they use the phrase “we can’t corrupt you…”. How can you be corrupted by a relationship?? These guys see how innocent you seem to be, and they don’t want to spoil that. It’s a good thing because you’re keeping all the wrong guys from hurting you. Perhaps it’s also because they don’t look at you in a very sexual way, that they consider you like a sister and not a romantic partner. You listen real well, they feel comfortable with you and talking with you openly, etc. Women that are physically attractive, a great listener, a great personality, intelligent, funny, successful, financially stable, morally upright, clean mouth, nurturing, can laugh at themselves without looking immature, are the kind of women that men would desperately want to marry (or run away from because they feel unworthy). You can really make an impression on a guy if you not only listen attentively, but give thoughtful advice based on what they told you. Give real encouragement. Be authentic. Smile. Be empathetic. It shows you care. It shows you’re confident, but not arrogant. It shows you’re loving. A woman who doesn’t need to blab on and on and can sit quietly and listen without feeling the need to comment on everything will make an impact. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a guy without being overly flirtatious. Raunchy girls are the type guys like to have sex with and then walk away from. Oh by the way, don’t overextend yourself for a guy when he blabs to you about his life and problems…be empathetic, give advice…but don’t be there for their every tear. Guys who do that for girls almost always end up in the friend zone, and they hate it. Just be you and you’ll attract the right guy soon enough.

Reply December 26, 2014, 8:43 pm

Eve

This guy friend known 2 years, he’s married, I’m separated,I live where he drives to work, he has always wanted to trade drugs wife not knowing, met today I said beard looks good twice, thanks I left he text me min said was that you behind when I turned around? I text yes mom called and I said I was meeting my boyfriend, nothing back he’s shy I text just playing don’t let me scare you, he said I know flirting? Asknow him wanna go gambling? He said I spend to much money?

Reply December 16, 2014, 10:41 pm

Joey

Eve – Leave him alone, he’s married.

Reply December 18, 2014, 6:57 pm

Rona

Hi Eric Charles!

Awesome articles.
I feel like I’m a guy too. LOL

Reply December 13, 2014, 4:06 pm

Shy?20

Hi joey, good day!!
Thank you so much for explaining, and yeah you’re right he mentioned before when we first talked he was in love with his ex and they just broke up a year before we started talking so maybe he’s still not ready . He obviously does in love with his ex because he said he was about to visit her in her hometown but unfortunately they broke up before that happen. But he did say he’s trying to move on.

And so yeah im glad you help me understand this . Ive never been in a serious relationship(well its not me who broke up with my ex its them, it hurts though but yeah thats past i moved on)thats why i couldnt understand whats the guy-thing. 😉 sorry i forgot to mention about his ex.
I tell you , im not that picky but in online dating i honestly choose only profile that has included a photo(profile photo i mean) but its so unusual to me because i did accept his request eventhough he dont have a photo .i felt something stranged and its like there’s someone pushes/told me to accept him and either me couldnt understand why. Its like there’s something connection between us. Im not sure but yeah thats what holding me not to lose communication with him. How many times i attempted and did stop the online-dating site but there’s always a way to communicate with him. Like one day, when i came back to that site i talked to another guy and he told me try to download the whats app messenger so it would be easier for us to talk but i never expect that i could find him(the first guy i used to talk to) in that messenger. Like i said, whenever i tried to forget him , he will appear again . Its like destiny or something lol.
so yeah after i noticed that all , i did not stop communicating on him and believe that there’s something between us,
Til now , ive already been in soo much patience, do i need to move on? Or should i stick
to my feelings about that connection?? I dont know what to do actually, im afraid to get hurt again .
I know it sounds weird and confusing but yeah this is true and i actually dont believe much in that DESTINY word. Lol sorry if your a bit confuse. :-) thank you.

Ohh gosh!! I felt crazy about this ..sorry.

Reply December 13, 2014, 9:54 am

Joey

Hey Shy- no worries. You seem pretty level-headed about this actually. Don’t work yourself up too much about the whole “destiny” thing. I do feel that there are spiritual influences that try to get us to be with a person that would best fit us, but if you miss out on that person another one can come along, because all in all people get to choose despite external influences. Please also know that people through choice, forgiveness, adapting, counseling, understanding, and other methods can turn a “bad” partner selection into a wonderful relationship (it does take both working at it). It all depends on how people choose to live out their lives, but it’s never an easy journey even if you find “the one”. People change over time, slowly, day by day. Both parties must work each day at doing those little things that will bring them together, or else time and complacency will end up driving them apart.

With that said, I’m not sure what else is left for you to do. This guy is somewhat wishy-washy, and there are an ocean of possibilities as to what’s going on in his heart and life. What we do have is the fact that he wants to set up a date. He needs to fulfill that oath. If you don’t want to continue talking and growing closer to him without knowing when the dates will start, then by all means just tell him. It’s always a good thing to be honest with the guy and let him know where you stand. If he really wants you, he’ll make time to set something up. If he doesn’t, I wouldn’t entertain any more chitchat. What you said about his ex may be a factor in all of this…we just don’t know and don’t need to know. It’s been long enough, you’ve been VERY patient, so don’t beat yourself up at all, and don’t worry yourself sick. You’ve done your part and you can rest easy knowing that.

Reply December 13, 2014, 1:59 pm

Shy?20

Hi again!! Joey.
I know saying THANK YOU to you and to all “a new mode” staffs isnt enough but im still glad you give time to this thing and wasting your time just to help me understand this. I wish i could do something as a return for your goodness. THANK YOU so much thank you. And goodbless you all.
I know now what am gonna do, this would be the time for me to do things that ive never done before. I am not that bad and maybe i was too nice to any one , that makes unfair to me. :-) but yeah its not too late to do it right next time. So so so much grateful for your advices. THANK YOU again .. have a good day!!
ADVANCE MERRY CHRISTMASS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Reply December 14, 2014, 7:57 am

Joey

Most welcome. I’m not staff though – I’m just a random guy that had a terrible crush on a girl at work that somehow led me to this article lol. I read through some of the posts and started posting things to people from a guy’s perspective. I enjoy it. I’ve posted under the name “JJ” also, but now I just put my name. God Bless you Shy – Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you as well :)

Reply December 14, 2014, 8:44 pm

Shy?20

Oopsy!! Really?? Ohh sorry about that.. i just thought your one of the “new mode” staffs.. hehehe
But yeah.. thank you.. lol

December 14, 2014, 11:10 pm

Shy?20

Confused!! Help me! Please…
I just want to know what this guy(i used to talk to) really mean about what he told me.
Q
I talked to this guy almost a year , but until now he doesnt open up something peronal about himself. Funny i know! Im just stupid still continue talking to him eventhough he seems like he doesnt trust me. I just want to be friends on him (at the moment)
thats why i didnt stop communicating. He seems ok in talking with me because he really does respond in every conversation we had , well that conversation mostly about me lol. He asked me everything and i did tell him but he, doesnt tell me more about himself.We even have a laugh , something fun honesltly, he even sent me some photos on what he’s doing. He obviously ok with me.
I never had a chance to meet him in person since he always busy at work he cant leave but he did tell me that he wants to set up a date to meet me. Im not sure if he does mean it or he just making an excuse.
And then one day he’s stressed so i cheered him up but in the middle of our conversation, he suddenly say sorry if he’s distant all the time and he said he’s a bit reserved. I dont understand why he suddenly tell me that thing. What does he really mean ? Hope you can help me explain this. It does bother me eveytime. Thank you :-)

Reply December 12, 2014, 11:39 pm

Joey

Wow, after reading your post I can see why you’re confused…I’m left a little confused too. You’ve been talking with him online or on the phone I suppose, since you’ve never met him. Maybe this is why he hasn’t opened up more to you – he’s reserved like he said and he’ll need time together to grow more attached. Some guys have been seriously hurt in relationships and it’ll make it tough for them to trust someone else. I’m not sure what his deal is, but at least he acknowledged his behavior towards you. It could be a good sign.

What does it all mean? Well, spending actual time with him could clarify that. He’ll have to schedule that date – you could gently prompt him. He might be real nervous about meeting you and “messing things up”. Depends on his past like I said earlier. Are you sure he’s not married? You can do a quick background check online. Make sure what he told you matches up with the background check. Be patient. This guy hasn’t moved forward with taking you out even after a year of talking with him. He can’t be that busy at work I don’t think. What does he do? It doesn’t seem to follow a natural progression so something may be up. You’ll have to go through with dates to get answers…but don’t be afraid to walk away either. There are other guys for you.

Reply December 13, 2014, 7:30 am

Shy?20

Thank you again joey for making me understand this. And sorry you left a bit confused i forgot to mention about his ex. So should i forget him ? And stop communicating him again??
It would be hard i suppose especially if u felt something connection on him but yeah if thats the other way then i will try.
Thank you again.
Love lots. :-)

Reply December 13, 2014, 10:07 am

Shy?20

Im not sure if he will set up a date for meet up . At the moment, . i cant ask him to meet me either im too afraid if it will get worst , maybe i should wait a bit but if he still wont then might be the time to decide whats right.. is that a good idea? Or not? 😛

Reply December 13, 2014, 10:19 am

Jen

So, there’s this really close guy friend that I’ve known for several years now and I felt that my feelings for him change and so recently i confessed and he told me he would like to think about it and that he was definitely interested in me. The conversations changed and he would tell me he liked me a lot, we’d kiss and flirt, but he didn’t want to make it official yet, especially because he’ll be going overseas for a month in december. He left recently.. but for a couple days now since he’s been overseas, the only conversations he’s had with me consists of him telling me how pretty the girls are, how he wants to stay in that country because of the girls, etc. I feel really crushed because it seems like it’s reverted back to our casual conversations as friends and he doesnt think the same about me anymore. I also feel really stupid for ignoring the advice of defining our relationship before he left or at least trying to make it official… what should i do? :(

Reply December 11, 2014, 6:05 am

JJ

Jen,
Sounds like you told him how you felt, things started to move forward but he didn’t want to be “tied down” with a new relationship while overseas. He made the decision not to make it official – so there’s nothing you can do with that. At least you know where you stand with him – he likes you but doesn’t want anything permanent yet. Wait and see what happens when he comes back. Let him lead.

Sounds to me like he still wants to sow his wild oats by commenting on all the hot girls there. One more thing, if he was very romantically interested in you, he probably wouldn’t have mentioned the other girls he’s looking at out there (#2 in the article). I wouldn’t hold your breath on this guy. Consider some other guys, focus on other things you enjoy about life, and don’t spend any time dwelling on this guy anymore. It’s out of your hands anyway.

Reply December 11, 2014, 7:34 pm

Jen

Hey JJ,
Thanks so much for your feedback :) ~ i just wanted someone else’s opinion.. especially after seeing #2 on the article… i guess i just didnt want to believe it because he didnt go as far as saying he wanted to date them.

Another thing is that you brought up is that he told me during one of our conversations that he wants to enjoy his single life for a while before we become official because he’s not ready yet, hence he wants to enjoy himself overseas. But he did ask for what would make me uncomfortable such as stuff he shouldnt do such as sleeping around, etc… do you think that changes anything? Or should I stop holding my breath and try to slowly move on?

Reply December 11, 2014, 10:18 pm

JJ

Hi Jen,
I’m not sure why he asked you that…he could easily keep it all to himself. It’s been said “what goes on overseas stays overseas” just like the popular Vegas phrase. If he wants to be respectful and not sleep around over there, then perhaps he shouldn’t be telling you about all the hot girls that are giving him whiplash and making him think about living there permanently. Perhaps he was joking, but honestly, I wouldn’t say that to a woman I was interested in pursuing…would you? It’s a nice gesture to consider what your feelings are on his behavior while away, but that’s about it. Actions speak louder than words, and you’ll have no way of knowing what went on behind closed doors during his stay there.

I don’t think it changes anything – try not to overanalyze the things he says. He’s been clear about not being tied down, so give him that. Assume he won’t want a relationship when he comes back either, and if he does it’ll be a pleasant surprise. He’s probably thinking he has you if he wants you when he returns – maybe for a relationship, maybe just to have sex with. Guys can be like that, so be prepared on setting boundaries in terms of his pursuing you…if he does. Hope this helps you Jen.

Reply December 12, 2014, 8:47 pm

Hannah

I dated this guy for 2 and a half years. We both loved each other a lot and I still do. He thinks his feelings have changed and gone to another girl, but i still feel he likes me. One of the problems is that my family hates him but I always supported him and promised to make everything right. I don’t know whether i should wait for him or not, but i reall love him, i can’t seem to forget him. What shall i do?

Reply December 9, 2014, 2:17 am

JJ

Don’t blame yourself for being so attached to him. You were with him for a long time. It’s a good thing to care for someone so deeply. Don’t ever harden yourself to that. However, when you realized that your family didn’t like him, that’s usually a red flag. The ones that love you the most and are closest to you should have your best intentions at heart. It’s not always the case, but you need to be somewhat objective about this guy and listen to your family’s opinions, especially if there’s more than one person in your family that dislikes him. Your heart can heal from this, if in fact you are broken up…or about to be.

Feelings are weird. They are strong one day and seemingly gone the next. Feelings are important and they play their role in relationships, but they aren’t to be your guide always. Feelings will come and go for others, which is normal but especially if you don’t guard your heart properly. It doesn’t matter how wonderful that person is or how great the connection is, many people will at some point have romantic feelings for someone else – but they can be dealt with. It doesn’t have to mean hop onto the next person though.

Tell him how you feel, what you want with him, and leave it there. Let him decide what to do next. Give him a time frame – the shorter the better. Be prepared to walk away and be mindful of heeding your closest friends and family’s intuition in future relationships.

Reply December 10, 2014, 7:43 am

hannah

Im 20 this guy is 4/1 years younger then me he name Kyle but ge ia dating anirher girl i likw but we use to flirt with each other but idk he likes me

Reply December 5, 2014, 10:00 pm

Kari

I was so reluctant to try online dating. but I finally gave in and gave it a try. There was one guy who I corresponded with back-and-forth for about a month before he went out on a first date. We had a great time and went out for a second and third date. This guy was texting me many times throughout the day complementing me constantly and maybe feel very special. We had a very strong connection and he were very comfortable around each other. He arranged his weekends with mine since we are both divorced and have children. When we got physical it was amazing!!! By the time we got to our 6th D I had a feeling something was wrong. I asked him if there is something bothering him and he said no. After our date I contacted him and again asked him if everything was okay. He said he feels we moved very fast and felt a little overwhelmed. I said okay and waited a few days, and wished him a good day via text one morning. He didn’t reply. So I texted him again asking him just for an explanation, he’s the first person I’ve dated since my divorce and I felt devastated and very hurt. He responded a few days later and just said he didn’t want to end things but just needed to relax a little bit.I should’ve just given him his space, but I just couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t give me the courtesy of more of an explanation. This is someone who pursued me and even told me that they loved me. I just don’t know what happens and I am beating myself up over it. I haven’t heard from him in a week now. Does anyone have any thoughts as to what could’ve happened here?

Reply November 26, 2014, 8:38 pm

JJ

Lots of possibilities. It’s hard to say without more details. According to what you said, it seems like everything was great until after the “physical” stuff (I assume sex). He feels turned off by it somehow, probably because he feels torn. Maybe you were his first since his divorce, or he’s right and it is going too fast. Have you considered that it may be better for you if it slowed down? I would take what he says at face value and just wait for him to contact you and move things along. Don’t be surprised if it fizzles out, but if it reignites you may want to tell him that sex is off limits. Don’t be afraid to do that. If he pursues a sexual relationship with you again, he may be trying to use you. After all, everything was peachy before the sex started. I’ve done the same thing to women before. Things were great until we had sex and it changed everything deep within me and I acted distant, but would come back after a short while for sex only. I can’t explain it. Some men are more sensitive to sex in relationships than others. Don’t beat yourself up. Just learn from it and know that sex shouldn’t define a relationship, your commitment to each other does. If you withhold sex and your man doesn’t like it and leaves you, he never loved you. Any man who truly cares for his woman would respect her wishes to remain chaste until further notice or marriage.

Reply November 29, 2014, 9:20 pm

Kara

Hello, thank you for your feedback I really appreciate it. The last time we saw each other was when he spent the weekend at my house. It was his idea to spend the entire weekend together. Although there were times I felt overwhelmed by things moving so quickly I went with it because he made me feel so special and I thought he was so special. It was halfway through that weekend that I noticed something different about him. And you’re right, maybe there was something that turned him off. But if he feels the strong feelings for me like he says why wouldn’t he share them with me? I do wish I gave him the 30 days that I’ve read so much about since this happened. I did lash out at him for not talking to me. I did apologize and he said he isn’t mad. He also said that he never wanted to not continue our relationship. But I haven’t heard from him and it’s so confusing. All he talked about was spending the weekend together and how he couldn’t wait to hold me and have been close to him. He told me he had he had come to terms with how he is feeling about me and told me he loved me on that Friday night. But Saturday evening there is definitely something wrong.I am so beside myself because I waited so long to date in I finally let my guard down. I don’t know what happened or why. This one’s sweet thoughtful kind person has completely turn their back on me.

Reply November 30, 2014, 9:29 am

Bob

I am a guy who stumbled upon this page out of curiosity and ladies I have too say this site is 300% accurate about what I do when im not into a girl. Am kinda freaked out about the accuracy of it though…

Reply November 26, 2014, 10:22 am

Kara

I’m particularly curious about no. 7. yes, he flirts with me along with everyone else. I don’t know if I’m exaggerating but I still feel something different. He flirts with me less than he flirts with others, but he does more genuinely sweet things to me than others. (My opinion is, he just doesn’t tease me because every time he does, our friends would tease US.)

Whenever we walk around in a group, we always seem to walk beside each other. I don’t know if he ever stares at me but whenever we accidentally look at each other, he would hold the stare–I would always be the one to break away. He also acts a bit shy around me, never on others. So what the heck does that mean? Is it really something special or I’m just reading too much over the signs?

Reply November 26, 2014, 5:09 am

JJ

Flirting comes in all kinds of flavors, let me explain: 1.) There’s the type where you both are mutually into each other romantically, 2.) there’s the attention-whore type where you just want the other gender’s attention but aren’t interested, and then 3.) there’s the friendly flirting where you’re just joking around more like friends but aren’t interested in each other romantically. I’ve “friendly flirted” (#3) before and other women thought it was the mutual type (#1), but It wasn’t. So, which type do you want to see from him? If you like him like that it may be very difficult to be objective about his flirting towards you. Want to find out? Flirt with him, and when you do, touch him on the arm, chest, or back. This will indicate flirting type #1. He’ll get the drift. And if he starts acting differently towards you, one way or another, you’ll know.

Reply November 29, 2014, 9:36 pm

josephine

I recently got in contact with old high school friends ,one of which was a man that separated from his wife of 27 yrs. They have been separated for 2 yrs. This gentleman, started texting me stating that he wants a sexual encounter and loves the fact that we are so “LIKE MINDED”. He would text me from work and late at night. Telling me one moment that he won’t be in a relationship for a long time just wants a hook up then states What happens if we fall in love, and he is living in the moment, then states he already has a major crush on me. Please keep in mind that I am in a unhappy relationship, and he loves to go on those POF sites. So this was the attention I longed for. This man stated he has more female friends then guy friends many of which are extremely attractive. he wanted to see me and stated that the only reason he was coming to the reunion was because of me. Calling me Bella telling me how gorgeous I am …you get the Idea. Well one thing led to another and not only was I stupid enough to fall for his praise I met up with him a week later after hrs of texting. Believe me when I say this is totally out of character for me. This man was so charming with his affections but once we did “THE DEED” classic player move he stopped talking, not all together but not the marathon sessions we had before. He would take a little longer to text back, would tell me he will text me later then not until the next day, yet before he would state that and text me throughout the day several times a day for hrs. He told me he would always be there for me but I believe that was just a line… please someone confirm what I already know…. I have been played… so why did I get so emotionally attached so quick and why am I letting it bother me so much.

Reply November 23, 2014, 12:45 am

JJ

He told you from the get-go that he didn’t want a long relationship, just a hook-up, but then mixed it in with some savvy talk about “what-if love” that kept you intrigued. You don’t like your current relationship because you are attention-starved, so you cheated on your man with this new guy who gives you that to see if it would perhaps turn a flame into a giant fire of love, but it didn’t. You gambled, and lost. Do yourself a favor and break-up with your man. Have some respect for yourself and don’t dive into a man’s need for sex unless you can deal with him ditching you after (which is really hard). If you are committed to someone, then commit. If you can’t do it any longer, than have the guts to be honest with him and walk away. And one more thing: don’t mess around with another woman’s husband, which is what he is until the divorce is final.

Reply November 29, 2014, 8:51 pm

Pamela

I was dating a guy for the last 7 months. Just like your article says, he would put me down, make me feel like shit about where I am in life, and then he would do nice things that would make me forget about our roller coaster. We “were” monogamous for the last 3 months -trying to see if we can work on being in a committed relationship. I had doubts checked his phone and saw that he had raw sex with a women who has a boyfriend. I’ve been completely torn since I thought we were trying. Like your article he was unsure about me and has his own issues to work on.

My question is–why do guys that have their own mental issues put women down? I had never been with someone who put me down like he did, or that made me feel insecure. Confused as to what really happened. Clearly he’s not that into me, but why the manipulation.

Reply November 20, 2014, 1:16 pm

JJ

Guys put women down because they are insecure about who they are as a person, therefore they cannot love a woman they way they should. Women fall prey to that too – it’s not gender specific. When thy see how they are treating you is wrong, it makes them feel worse. They may try to justify it, act like it’s your fault, etc. He’s pushing you down to make himself feel like he’s higher up. He needs some counseling is all. He can get over it if he chooses to. Forgive him. Forgive yourself. Move on.

Reply November 22, 2014, 12:41 pm

katty

I have a guy but its alot more complicated.After the break up he was really messed up with what he said because one girl tryed to claim him as his gf when I really was his gf after agrueing I found out he didnt love her and wherent together and me and him broke up after argueing. Later on she started saying where in a relationship with him and he whent along with it knowing he doesnt love her or care about her. His family loves me and hates her.he told me multiple times he cares and loves me just hes being childish then I heard his family saying he wants to bring his gf to his house but his family dont want her in the house. He has plans for me in the futer which I dont know if its real or not.the girl doesnt even message him as much as I do and doesnt visit him.he keeps saying to me I wont do anything to her and I just dont know anymore everyday I feel like I’m not the person he truely loves like I’m always in the way.

Reply November 16, 2014, 1:00 pm

JJ

Get away from this guy. Tell him you’re not interested in a relationship with him. He’s double-minded and unstable. He’ll only do to you what he’s doing to that other girl. There’s a better man out there for you, you’ll find him and he’ll treat you like a special woman. You’ll never look back. Don’t settle.

Reply November 22, 2014, 12:33 pm

Joyce

A neighbor has shown interest by talking on the phone, texting and dinner dates. My problem with this is…..He lost his wife of nineteen years ONLY three months ago. I Feel that he is moving way too fast and doesn’t seem to have mourned or grieved properly. He shows sign that he is interested in a relationship because he has told his children and a few friends about US, but I feel like giving up on the US until he grieves properly.

Reply November 15, 2014, 8:01 pm

JJ

If it’s a red flag for you, then you should listen to your conscience, especially this early in. Tell him you’d rather stay friendly neighbors for now. I think it’s too soon also. If you lost the love of your life, having another relationship after a few months wouldn’t feel right. He’s probably lonely and would like female interaction, but he should seek out healthy male friendship for now. If you want, talk to him about how he feels, and his thoughts on dating so soon after being widowed.

Reply November 16, 2014, 6:11 am

Sapphyreopal5

I don’t understand why people assume everyone’s the same when it comes to grieving. May be the guy is lonely and is having a hard time with being alone, or may be their marriage wasn’t all that great before she died. You never know what happens behind closed doors, even if you live next door. If that’s how you want to go about it that’s your choice, but don’t assume everyone grieves the same way or has to take many years to get over the loss of their significant other. It’s foolish to assume we’re all the same. Ever think about that, or did you put him in your shoes as to what you think he should do (instead of you putting yourself in his shoes as you should)?

Reply November 16, 2014, 10:09 am

JJ

You’re right, not everyone is the same. If their marriage wasn’t good, it’s reasonable that his grieving process may be affected by that. We don’t want to judge others, but without knowing any details you’re left with your own assumptions – such as the obvious – why is he trying to go on dates only 3 months after his wife of 19 years has passed? If his marriage was bad, then why? There’s a difference between judgement and discernment. There’s lots of possibilities, therefore its’ hard to put myself in his shoes.

Generally speaking, Joyce doesn’t feel comfortable with it so it stands to be solid advice to go with your conscience and take a step back just to make sure he’s not in rebound mode. She’s looking out for herself too. I wouldn’t let romantic feelings cloud things until I knew him much better. I never said she should avoid him, but instead be “friendly neighbors”. Joyce indicated that the guy seems interested in a relationship, not just neighborly chit chat. There’s a big difference there. SO: go with your gut and be a friendly neighbor. Just be sure he understands no romance until you’re more comfortable.

Reply November 16, 2014, 4:53 pm

Joyce

Hello it is me again, about my neighbor losing his wife of 19 years. Well it was only 10 DAYSs then(now it’s 3mo) after his wife’s death, that he showed interest in a relationship. Yes he has seen me out walking my dog and I would speak to him AND his wife before her death. His pursuit was scary because it was SO SUDDEN, I’m still confused and he is STILL interested. He told me that he tell his mother, friends, children about me and tell they tell him the same that I HAVE been saying all along . SLOW DOWN/TAKE THINGS SLOW. I like the guy a lot. We have good conversations , one dinner date, and a few movie nights but I just think he is lonely and wants me to help him grieve and get through this trying time but I’m afraid of my time being vested in a relationship that’s going WHERE!? P.S. He does say things like “I Love my wife BUT” which might mean there was problem in the marriage but I don’t know how to pry into their relationship.

Reply December 12, 2014, 7:14 pm

JJ

Hi Joyce,
Well, it sounds like you have more than one source telling you to take things slow: 1.) your own conviction, 2.) my advice, 3.) his mother, 4.) his friends, and 5.) his children. Perhaps you should ask YOUR family and friends too, just for curiosities sake. I don’t see anything wrong with watching movies and eating dinner, but don’t let him think those are dates if you don’t want them to be taken that way.

So, you like the guy a lot…nothing wrong with that. You might need to decide, at least for the interim, what you are going to be to him. Are you a friendly neighbor or a possible romantic partner? Just decide now, and keep those boundaries in place no matter how enticing – because you don’t want to send wrong messages to him. Don’t be wishy-washy. Tell him you don’t want to pursue a relationship or he’ll get confused, especially since he’s already told you and his family that he wants you in his life and you’ve joined him for dinner and movies already. If you want, tell him you don’t want the romance, but you don’t mind coming over to talk and drink coffee…or something like that.

December 12, 2014, 9:06 pm

Ash

How do I post a question the forum?

Reply November 14, 2014, 9:45 pm

anisha

i met this guy on facebook, and i started lykng him and therefore started flirting with him…he responds to my flirt and he has told my frnd that he likes me and wants to propose me but he wants some time….what does this mean??? do he really likes me??? i love him alot and cannot forget him…what shud i do???

Reply November 14, 2014, 12:24 am

JJ

Propose after talking on facebook? Sounds a bit fast to me. You shouldn’t do anything. Let him make the moves. Don’t get your hopes up.

Reply November 14, 2014, 10:42 pm

dwell

This guy and I met in party, we had sex but from the beginning he said he’s not looking for gf, he’s an expat, intern in my country. But we always met like once every 2 weeks, sex and conversation. always in his place. at first im ok to be his sex buddy, but then I like him more. We’ve been like that for almost a year. this sounds ridiculous but I believe him not doing much with other girls, because he is kinda guy who spend his time in library. but he has something with girl, I always believe it wont more that he was with me. His facebook not has many activities from other girls, and no add activity from other girl from my country. We always have good conversation, and he would hug me for almost one hour after sex. Well yesterday was last time I saw him, because I had to go for a year, and he will have to move out from my country soon. As usual, sex and conversation, I never said I like him and neither him. He just had long stop yesterday when I said I had to go, silent for few minutes and held my hand, I really hoped he would say something, but at the end he just kissed me and had sex again. We said goodbye, and he said that he was sure that we would meet me again. and I am clueless, I would like to believe he has a feeling to me but he never introduced me with his friend, never go out together, although he’s ok I post things in his fb wall and give “like” to his sister photos. I cant say that I like him, im worried I ruin everything :(

Reply November 12, 2014, 12:33 pm

JJ

Many times, feelings end up following sex. Sex is the most intimate act you can have with another person, so it’s not a mystery why people end up having feelings afterward. He obviously likes having sex with you, talking with you afterward, etc., but he doesn’t want you to be his. If he felt love for you, he would remain in contact with you over distance, he would plan things out for future dates, etc. Doesn’t sound like he has those kinds of feelings though, judging by your description of him. You should either tell him you’re interested in pursing more with him, and if he can’t, then break contact – for your own emotional health. If you were fine being his sex buddy at first, and I hate to say it this way, then you set yourself up for being used by him. In fact, you were both using each other for sex, and it doesn’t always end well. Draw some boundaries for yourself in future relationships. If the guy doesn’t like those boundaries, then he doesn’t care about you and you can move on knowing you did right.

Reply November 13, 2014, 8:42 pm

Elaine

Wow….. Can’t believe I am writing this but guess everyone needs advice from time to time. I am an older lady working at a grocery store part time. Began to like a guy MUCH younger than me. In fact, when he found out my age tears actually welled up in his eyes. He has introduced me to his mom and she has come into the store to eyeball a few times since. Long story short…..I tried to turn off my affections but my heart would not listen. He came in back of me one day and says he wanted me to view him as older and I was the only reason he continued to work there. I did not respond because I did not know what to say to that. Anyway…..he would pop up everywhere I was at work and seem to flirt with me. I wrote him a note just letting him know I cared and that I would like to meet up with him for lunch. Left the note on his truck. He got the note and came running into the store yelling my name. I said to him in a low low voice…..” don’t embarrass me” I had a customer and he was charging towards me like a football player. The next day…..ICE COLD. I approached him and told him I did not mean to make him feel bad or reject him but I was shy and I did not want us to get in trouble with the manager. He now acts like he does not know me. Days have passed and he goes out of his way to avoid me. My heart is broken……I asked him if he read the note and he told me he still had it in his truck. Yeah….sure. The other employees to my dismay seemed to know he liked me as they would give me messages and I would just smile. I am a very private person and cannot believe I liked someone so young. Very heartbroken over his actions but confused by them as well. Never meant to like anyone at my workplace as this situation has made things uncomfortable for both of us. Any suggestions would help.

Reply November 12, 2014, 12:11 am

JJ

I’ve been through something similar myself recently. I tried to turn my heart off like you did and it didn’t work either. I hate when it gets awkward, but that’s the risk you take with coworker relationships. I’m not sure how young this guy is, but it sounds to me like he was offended at your response to his immaturity. He feels like you’re embarrassed by his feelings for you. Any decent person should know that relationships like these need to be very private until ready to disclose to everyone else. Also, you should be aware if there is a company policy for coworkers who date. Make sure you abide by it if there is one. He doesn’t like the fact that you seemed a bit embarrassed by his excitement, but he should know that you’re interested anyway so it shouldn’t be a big deal. You already approached him and set the record straight, so you covered yourself. You should work on letting this go and allow him to get over his shame. Perhaps in time things will lighten up between the two of you. If not, it’s not your fault he responded this way to you, so don’t blame yourself. He’s a bit immature apparently. Find a guy closer to your own age maturity-wise.

Reply November 13, 2014, 8:08 pm

Kay

Okay so a guy who I didn’t really know too well approached me one day and started talking to me and whenever he sees me after school he continues to do so. I started liking him and, he shows pretty much all of the signs and I was pretty much 100% positive that he was into me(WAS being the main point here). He shows all of the signs of liking me in person, he treats me differently, he’s protective of me, he always keeps the conversation going, asks me questions, breaks the touch barrier, focuses on me, etc, etc. But online he’s only messaged me once, and he’s always commenting on this one girl’s statuses, and liking her pictures and she does the same to him. I thought that he liked me, but now I’m not so sure. Help?

Reply November 9, 2014, 7:55 pm

JJ

He’s attracted to you in some way, that’s why he approached you. He’s interested to a degree, but you’re probably not the only one he’s interested in. He may be weighing his options, trying to figure out who he’ll ask out. Just be patient. Be kind. Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket with this guy though. If he wants you bad enough, he’ll make a move.

Reply November 11, 2014, 6:36 am

Pearl

I really need a heavy dose of advice :( please let me know if someone can help me preferably a guy with experience with girls and relationships :'( I just feel so heartbroken and I don’t know how to feel about my relationship atm….this whole post just confused me… especially because I’m having a HUGE fight with my boyfriend of 4 years… :(

Reply November 9, 2014, 2:21 am

J

Hi Pearl. I can offer advice if you’d like. Maybe offline?
The post actually doesn’t clearly reflect things I have done in my interactions with women – but I’m not the average guy. I’ll respond to the items I disagree with in the article:

1. “He’s Not Around You”: I was super into a girl I worked with, downright CRAZY about her…and I steered clear of her like she had a contagious disease. That’s how nervous interacting with her made me feel. I fumbled with my words. My hands were shaky. I constantly talked about myself lol. All the wrong things to show a girl. Avoiding her made sense to me because the further away I was from her the more calm I was haha.
3. “He has no interest in talking to you.” Wrong. See #1 above.
4. “His body language/general behavior.” This is difficult. If you’re nervous, you might be looking all over the place. It depends. The girl I liked would say hi to me, then look away before I could make eye contact. Or, she would talk to me while looking down or off to the side, even after approaching me first. If she’s interested but just nervous, it could be the same for a guy too. It was with me.

Reply November 9, 2014, 4:00 pm

Janice

@Morgan: because.. They only like you for sex! Duhhhh

Reply November 5, 2014, 12:42 am

shaz

Very childish attitude and comments towards people that have problems, some serious can cause lasting damage and even harm, so comments like yours are best kept to yourself.

Reply November 5, 2014, 8:01 am

ana

I first off want to let you know that reading everything you have to say makes me feel so much better, it’s empowering and brings me back to reality…
I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years, we have lived together and have gone through so many stages together, we’ve been through the good and the bad but always there to help eachother and most importantly being there for eachother when we need eachother the most, two nights ago we had a talk, he’s been so distant and I told him we needed to talk, he couldn’t even look me in the eye and he said he felt like we are a married couple, that he needed a break and time to work on himself and be selfish? Then he said he had fallen out of love with me , I’m the type of person that holds on to all the stuff said :( I started crying and asked him what hapoened, I found out not to long ago he had started talking to a friend who was interested in him and I had confronted him about that and they ended up not talking anymore so I asked him if there was someone else, they had plans to meet up and hangout and at that moment that was extremely painful but we decided to move on, now I’m lost Idk if I’m wasting my time with him anymore I still love him very much but if in continue in this relationship any longer the pain will be worse :( what’s confusing me is after he dropped me off he wanted me to kiss him? He said he did love me and that we could work it out.. is this normal for a guy to think like that ? Should no let go of the voices in my head or just cut ties? I’m so confused and hurt :(

Reply November 4, 2014, 9:50 pm

shaz

Yes you are bound to be feeling hurt right now and so upset, he wanted you to kiss him because he still loves you and is mixed up” some guys dont like the thought of getting to settled and would like to know if there is something better out there for them, he basically wants his cake and eat it at the same time, if he gos off he wants to know he can come back and that you will have him back! so his just checking to see if you still love him by wanting you to kiss him, Id say for get him and move on, he wants something more and is after something more than what he has with you, he wants to play the field so to speak! and hopes you will be there waiting for him if it all gos wrong. How ever painful it may be for you id cut all contact and try to move on , hoping that you will find some one who DOES deserve you as he clearly does not.

Reply November 5, 2014, 7:51 am

Ana

So in a situation where you have a talk and you give him an ultimátum, he decides he wants to work things out he doesn’t want to break up, he would just like me to make it interesting again like before? What does that mean? To show up at his house in costume lingerie? Lol I’ve tried looking up new restaursnts, walks to the park I just don’t know what direction to go towards, what does it mean when a guy asks you to make it interstitial again?

Reply November 7, 2014, 12:27 pm

JJ

In the early stages of relationships, they’re always interesting. It may or may not be directly related to you as a person. One problem with your relationship may be that you have been living a “mini-marriage” without actually being married. That’s why he said he felt like he was in a marriage. It works for some but not for others. What do you want? What does “Work things out” mean? Marriage? Here’s the deal: 4 years is PLENTY of time for both of you to know if you want to marry each other. If he hasn’t married you by now, he feels that you’re not special enough to be taken off the market. The ultimatum should be something like: “Lets get engaged and married within 6 months or breakup”…unless you’re fine living together and never getting married. Obviously he’s not ok with the mini-marriage – he’s getting bored and the easiest thing to do when you’re not married but bored of your g/f is to ditch and jump onto the next interesting ride. Relationships require actual work, which he doesn’t seem interested in. Sounds more like he wants you to take the reigns and spice things up while he measures up your efforts with other women available to him.

With that being said, you can still try different things to make things “more interesting”, such as some of the things you mentioned. You may want to consider showing him you mean business by moving out. You also should cut down time with him, it will make your time together more meaningful. I honestly think he’s strayed a lot because he doesn’t feel like he will lose you. I had a gut feeling I should’ve told my best friend he was going to lose his g/f of 3 years if he didn’t marry her, but I didn’t say anything thinking it wasn’t my business. Then almost 3 more years go by and he lost her. He DESPERATELY wanted her back too…he even proposed on a whim but she had already moved on with another guy. They were living together and having sex (mini-marriage), she was supporting him, etc. Many guys will take whatever they can get from a girl and drag their feet. It’s sad, but it’s the truth. Some guys recognize what they have is a special thing, and they put a ring on the finger asap. There really needs to be more boundaries regarding dating or else marriage can lose its value. Wish you the best

Reply November 9, 2014, 4:57 pm

shaz

Some guys “love” being in love, and a new love excites them so much that they seek another partner or seek a different sort of love just to get that new love feeling back again.. (falling in love for the first time with some one) is so special and excites both partners you know the feeling ? after some time that feeling is not there anymore …. some guys love that feeling and crave it as well as seek it else where time and time again till they are satisfied and no longer crave the first love reaction, an old love does nothing for them unless you both make it exciting again… but this is a hard one, how ? and even if you do some sort of role play or something different in the relationship, you can not keep up the interesting new love for very long …he will always want more until he has had enough of the first love feeling and settle.

November 11, 2014, 7:35 am

Morgan

Why do guys always tell you they use to like u afterwards but never told you they liked you the time they did this has happened to me a lot ?

Reply November 4, 2014, 6:25 pm

shaz

Get to know a guy for a while first, i mean really get to know them!…. if they want sex, the first week or days you know there only after one thing!! and as soon as they get it, they dump you, Thats why its happening to you alot, there is more to a relationship than just sex, so explore that with your new man first. never give them what they want, a great relationship is built up on friendship then love, and sex comes much later.

Reply November 5, 2014, 7:56 am

Piper

I met this guy online and immediately we hit it off. We would text each other in paragraph format! About 2-3 months later, her told me that he liked me (this was prior to meeting) and I sort of felt the same way for him. We did end up meeting and hung out the entire day together! It was a good meet up because i took my friends and we all went out to the beach and had a really good time. After that, everything was going great we started to really have interest in one another, we continued texting and communicating with one another a lot more. The second time we met, we had decided to meet up half ways in a poor little town (we didn’t expect for it to be the way it was) and we had spent the whole day together and did little cute fun things, we pretty much tried to make the best of it and enjoy each others company! I got home and we said good night but the next day I had noticed that our texting wasn’t as fun like it used to be. It felt to me like he had lost interest. I asked him and he said that he still was interested in me, yet i just wasn’t sensing that from his side of the conversation. This went on for about half a day almost a full day. We began to text again more but I keep sensing that he’s not into me and that maybe he doesn’t want to tell me yet because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. We live about 4 hours away from each other! This is the first time I have ever been exposed to what a long distance relationship could be like. As weird as it may seem, but before he wouldn’t go on his fb and now he’s beginning to go on in constantly, i think it’s maybe to communicate with other girls? It’s interesting because he also had mentioned, after our last meet up, which was this weekend that he wanted to take things slow. That the reason for him not even holding my hand was because he didn’t want me to flip out. I’m not sure, it could’ve also been that he lost interest because i’m really shy and i find it hard to hold up a conversation when i am shy. Once i’m no longer shy, i break those barriers and can be myself 100% which is really outgoing and goofy!! What do you guys think? Not enough information?

Reply November 4, 2014, 5:38 pm

Tam

I think it’s best to just have fun and not think about how much he likes you too much. You are a confident woman and you don’t need that validation from him. I wouldn’t invest too much energy and thought into him yet and talk to other guys too since he didn’t make you his girlfriend yet. Best to assume he likes you and have fun.

Reply November 7, 2014, 11:08 am

l

My boyfriend(now ex-boyfriend) broke up with me this past Thursday, after being together for 9 months. He said that he wasn’t happy anymore, and that he didn’t want to be tied down. He is 17 and I am 15. I lost my virginity to him, and he lost his to me. I am very confused because he would tell me that he loved me, and he was acting normal until Thursday. Now I look at his snap chat best friends and it’s #1, his girl bestfriend, and #2 is a girl he had a thing with before me ): I check to see who’s he’s following he followed 4 girls on instagram ): and in his snapchat story he looked happier then ever, this is killing me, the pain is just terrible. I have depression, and I just started taking depression medication. I have been thinking of suicide more then ever. I feel as if he just no longer loves me, or cares about me, and that is killing me. I cannot deal with this pain any longer. I don’t know what to do. I have skipped the past 2 days of school, if I have to see him with someone else, it will kill me. He hardly got any girls before me. I’m so heartbroken and hurt. What do I do, I just want him to still care about me… ):

Reply November 3, 2014, 3:13 pm

JJ

There is more in life than this, don’t worry! I can’t imagine your pain, especially since it seems like this guy was your first real experience with deep-rooted love. There’s so much I want to say, but I want to keep this simple…you need to figure out how to move in a positive direction or else this will destroy you.
1.) Begin to find a way to refocus your mind on other things in your life. The heart is a great thing, it can survive tremendous heartbreak. You will prolong the process, and hurt yourself more, if you dwell on it. It’s out of your hands anyway. You have to respect his decision, though you may not like it. Read through some blogs on other people’s experiences with gut-wrenching breakups, it may help you feel like you’re not alone and there could be some good advice there. Also, find several things in life that are positive and encouraging to “reprogram” your thought-life. There’s an old saying “As a man thinks, so he is.” Your mind is so powerful – harness the power to your advantage and channel it by doing other constructive things/thoughts.
2.) Forgive him! Seriously. Don’t fault yourself, or him. Forgive yourself also. Now is the time, at 15 years old, to begin doing this habitually. A broken heart that doesn’t deal with pain properly by choosing to forgive (and be forgiven) can lead to a bitter, wretched heart. You don’t want that. It’ll stay in there until you deal with it, and many will tell you how many years/decades they spent bitter over a broken heart when they could’ve released themselves via forgiveness. Choose it today. Choose it tomorrow. Choose it forever.
3.) Commit some good quotes to memory so you have something to come back to when the depression comes swooping in. I like poetry and bible verses. I also like stories of epic challenges that were overcome through much adversity (Ernest Shackleton’s voyage to the antarctic, Joseph and his 11 brothers in the book of Genesis, for example).
4.) Put it in perspective. Though your pain is intense, look around at a world that is full of people in more dire situations: The infant children left on the street with no food and no family, victims of rape/incest, orphaned children with nobody to come visit them, etc. Maybe choose to volunteer at a few local shelters, libraries, churches, etc.
5.) Don’t follow him. Follow other things that will be inspiring and help you grow as a person. Following him has caused you nothing but despair. Don’t waste your time on a past you can’t change. Learn from it and move on.

You’re so young, now is a great time to challenge yourself to work through this. Doing these things may be more difficult than drugs but will produce long lasting results that you can share with other young girls as you get older. They will need someone to light the way in a world that can be so dark. I wish you the best!

Reply November 3, 2014, 9:08 pm

death by heartache

I could not have said that any better. You are a wise lady. I have lost my strength and to hear you speak so gently brought tears to my eyes. So thanks for sharing with us all.

Reply November 5, 2014, 6:14 am

JJ

You’re most welcome. I’m actually a guy – but no biggie. Thanks for the kind words. You’ve lost your strength too? You could be in a very good position right now actually…see 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. I’m trying to commit this to memory for my own sake.

Reply November 6, 2014, 9:38 pm

Online problems

Hi guys i dont know how to put this whole situation into words but here i go, Basically I met a guy online in a chat room and we hit it off, he was one of the first people i had spoken to in the room, i only spoke to him when i was in the room but we spoke everyday. i got his skype and we messaged each other alot, thing is i know hes had little friend ships with other girls before me online as he was in the room 3 months longer then me. But we had become awesome friends and i found it hard to not talk to him everyday and he didnt seem to mind as he would always reply. problem is from day 1 he made sure i knew he didnt want a relationship online and i was the same and would assure him i wouldnt “fall in love” lol. Months later i realise i have feelings for this guy and i tell him and he tells me he would love to date me too but we live too far and its just not realistic i agree with him as we live across the world from each other and circumstances just wont allow us to meet. We flirt alot and stuff but he wont show me his face, i know its odd how i can fall for a guy ive never seen besides in one picture but i have i dont go for looks i go for personality and he has one of the best out there. He has mic’d with me so i know hes a guy lol but i cant help but feel like the other girls who also havent seen him. he assures me that i am one of the only girls online he has grown to truly care about but he still treats me like the others, he said he doesnt want his real life getting influenced by whats online and i understand that but now whenever i mention him not cam’ing he says “this really bugs you doesnt it? if it does bug you that much just dont talk to me alot then”
He doesnt understand that i have tried to avoid him but i always find myself coming back, hes not a bf but i do care about him and want to be in his life and want him in mine. How can i tell him this without him using the “dont talk to me then” reply.
Oh also i call him by his name when we talk on mic or in skype but he always calls me my chat name which is odd because he knows my real name, i find it annoying because it feels like he doesnt see me as a person and i used to correct him but i just dont do it anymore.
I know he wants to talk to me too because i left chat because id wait for him and it was getting too much for me to do that and i told him that the only reason i went was to talk to him he said i was the only reason he went there too and he hasnt even been back since even though ive popped in a few times. he has talked to me on skype. I just find it hard to like him so much and for him to not trust me enough to cam (he has seen me on cam many times). i dont even know if he likes me or if hes using me for stress relief. every time i make a joke about saving myself for him he replies with “you need to find yourself a real man not one online” i know he knows its a joke but i feel like he makes a conscience effort to remind me we will never work out. Help me its been 8 months :'(

Reply November 1, 2014, 3:11 pm

Shaz

You are being “USED” this guy is either married or in a relationship already and is looking for fun, he is using you for a bit of fun as that what the guys call , sex chat. Dump his ass before you really get hurt . There are many online esp on social sites, that look for girls to get there rocks off, if they start sex chatting dump them! you are worth more than a bit of fun!! and no woman should be treated like this by any man.

Reply November 1, 2014, 4:36 pm

Online problems

We arent dating so i cant dump him and i find it hard to dump him as a friend, we never talk about anything sexual and if it is its literally just a little flirting like me saying im gonna marry him as a joke. i know i sound like im sticking up for him but he is honestly a great guy and i dont know how seriously i should take the no camming thing, i might just not reply to a message he sends on my skype for a few days and then tell him i cant deal with it if he doesnt cam but i also dont wanna be that girl that is forcing him into a corner to get what she wants. Thank you so much for replying its given me alot to think about but i feel like i need a way to get him to open up and just cam already.

Reply November 2, 2014, 2:40 am

shaz

Seems to me your mixed up , one minute you care and have feelings and even joke that you love this guy, but honestly … the fact is you do love this guy” you are acting in a manner to say that you do. Even being on the defensive mode proves it, He is what he is and you clearly have problems yourself to deal with, decide if you do actually want this guy as a friend or not, because thats all its going to be and it will not be anything other than just friends, so stop complaining his not camming you. Men dont like playing games,. and your clearly playing games.

Reply November 2, 2014, 7:04 am

Vickie Van

Ok. I met this guy who I really like. We talked for s couple of months before we got intimate. The intimacy turned out to be great, especially to him, we had an altercation and stop talking for about two weeks. I really was ready to move on but suddenly I started to miss him, so I texted him and told him I missed him. He called me immediately. We talked and texted for about 2 more weeks before we saw each other again. During these two weeks he told me he missed me, he loved me, and he wanted me intimately again. The feeling were mutual. So we ended up seeing each other and fulfilling each others needs. The next day after, I didn’t hear from him by text or by phone. This worried me a little , because for we seen each other it was a daily keeping in touch. The day after next I texted him and asked how he was doing, he answered ok. Then nothing. So I asked him were we still talking. Later when I talked to him he said he didn’t feel good so I left it alone. The next day I asked him was anything wrong he said yeah he just can’t forget about what happened between us that caused him to leave his job. So he was putting the blame on me. All the time I thought he had forgiven me because he had moved on and found another job in his profession immefiately and said forget those people he was about to leave them anyway. So we continue to talk. Now I started having problems at work and wanted to change companies also. ( truck driving) I tell him what I’m going through, he gives me dierections to get my way back to terminal and I drop truck off. So when I get home we talk he really didn’t want to engage in a long conversation, so I text him something I really wanted him to know cause I felt he wasn’t really responding to me. We end up say harsh things to each other and him telling me to get a life! After this I told him I really didn’t want to fight and could we still remain friends, possibly me being a girlfriend if he cared. He text me back and ask could we still be intimate. I tell him he ismy only partner and I wanted him. He asks again, can he have more pu__y? I asked him is that all he wants from me he says no. So I ask him what else does he want, he says pu__y and money! I asked him is he trying to pimp me cause I’m not a whore he says no. I also let him know I need money too! I tell him a couple of things I need money for right now and he doesn’t respond, and I never asked him for anything. He still doesn’t respond. So I send a text telling him if he ever decide that I’m a decent enough woman to consider being a girlfriend of he’s and we can communicate, get along with each other and have fun , plus share our finances together he could give me a call. So far it’s been about 3 days and its driving me insane that I haven’t heard from him. I’m just wondering will he ever call?

Reply October 27, 2014, 7:00 pm

shaz

Dump this scumbag !!! and also tell him – every body is responsible for there own actions in life , and not to hold you to blame for his fu”k ups!. This guy just wants money and sex and your being easy, thats why he comes back because you give him what he wants, its clear he does not want a relationship with you as he would be calling and texting you, instead your doing all the running (so to speak) so its one sided. Get RID asap, your worth more and are better than he is, ,you will find some one soon who does deserve you !!!

Reply November 1, 2014, 4:48 pm

Yuki

I have a crush on someone. He goes to the same college with me. Since we come from different countries, I thought that it’s not a good thing to have relationship with him. When we first met, he showed me some hints that he was kind of interested in me. I totally ignored him at that time. He is a nice guy and he is friend with most of people I know . I mean my friends. We got to know each other through friends. I told my friends to come to my birthday treat party because they made surprise birthday video for me . He came too because he was in the video ! Then, we did not know each other I mean introduce ourselves ! I was shocked when I saw him in the video. He said happy birthday to me and also told that he wants to be close with me. At the party , he sat right in front of me with the help of friends cos they changed seats when he came ! I cooked something at the party but I cooked really bad. So, I apologized to people who came . And he asked me i really cooked the foods and he ate every foods I cooked even some are burnt and some are too salty . He gave me compliment that it’s delicious and helped me washing dishes after the party. After that, I feel like he is really nice n kind and my feelings for him grew bigger and bigger . He always come and say hi whenever he meets me . Always says that I m pretty but actually I m not ! He acts shy when he sees n talks to me. Those made me think that he is interested in me. On his birthday, many friends made a surprise party n I was there ! There were so many people wish him happy bday ! So, I was not that distinct among those people but he found me n came to me and thank me . I had Bday present for him but I m afraid people would find out I love him ! So, I took my present back with me. I could not sleep the whole night , feeling sad n confused what to do . Finally, I decided to give him a card at least ! When I gave a Bday card to him, he was so happy (I swear) he was so happy and told me “this is the best I’ve got” ! I was so surprised to hear that because I gave him just a bday card ,nothing else big n special! I asked him why and he was hesitate to give me answer n then said “oh because it is a letter “! That does not make any sense , does it? He also sent me message saying that he likes my hair because it’s pretty ! When I say congrats to him for something n he replied that congrats is the gift for him ! Whenever I said something on my FB wall, he did something related with that . For example, I posted that I wanna go to a place n later he posted the photos of that place ( he went there) ! So, those things he did made me really confused if he likes me or not ! Sometimes I think he does not like me cos he does nothing to improve our relation. But sometimes I think that he likes me for what he has been acting ! I would like to know if there is a little chance of knowing that he likes me or he liked me ! Help please :) thanks

Reply October 20, 2014, 1:20 am

raven

I started a job at a smoke shop almost 3 yrs ago. A group of Native American guys came in who were lo ud and obnoxious and would come in every day and make a dent in the quiet.By the 3rd day i decided that the only interesting man that walked in the door was one in that group. Will they pretty much disappear except for the one. He grew up and lives right down the street.He is an on and off customer as he lives on a res a lot of the time with his grandparents. But this on an off customer spends time with me. Talks to me.At the time I met him he was getting past a 7 yr relationship. (Thats done.Been clarified.) He stops in the store even if he is not buying anything to say Hi when he is in town even if it is just hi and bye or he spends time. I took 3 mos. off work and saw him walking down the street once.I came back to work. He started showing up.Sometimes to buy smokes and would be in a hurry. But other times he would just stop buy and lean on my counter for 15 to 20 minutes. In feb he had to go up north. About 3 weeks ago his brother who unknowst to him has become my little buddy over the 2 plus yrs as well comes in says says i was told to say hello to you make sure I say hello to you. he said hit him up on facebook. So I did. Went to his timeline. Ran onto another person I know who is now a friend on and off fb. No coincidences. more to that but..He started posting stuff and I fell in love with him. We were all over his timeline and news feed. His phone got shut off.HE was on an off a few times didn’t comment on all this stuff I posted stopped reading m private messages. being he was a close friend i could see his newsfeed . that was an accident. he commented on other girls picks and made to new femal friends.He had told me he would be here on the 19 and he didn’t want to communicate on facebook. i did anyway. He deleted alot of stuff including a haircut pic which is like a yearly thing that he posts pics before In the before pic i said don’t you dare on the comment. Then ne posted at the barber or hairdresser. And we had a whole conversation about it. he deleted it and a bunch of other stuff. So I took all my personal stuff off his timeline and left the friend stuff.He took a photo album he posted for me down. And then he showed up on the 21st.Told his brother that he was drunk talking o me and din’t realize how deep he got . i say bs. he knew who he was talking and where i was going and he would not make that mistake with me. not a chance because i have a business relationship with him as well and he has to run into me in the neighborhood.So he shows up . Not for me but for dinner at the taco stand next door with his 2 little brothers.Came in , while they were waitng and he said he would be back but i had to close up. He was in the next day i was at work. pretense sodas for hjimand little bro. but it as obvious little bro knew he was supposed to wait. Then he came in again. With another brother. Brother got a call from his cousin who can’t stand stand me.Made his brother wait and his cousin wait. then he sent his brother off. said he would catch up with them later.I stayed awhile longer and left. Said he would see me tomorrow. I didn’t realize I don’t work tomorrow. But he came back. Pulled up the chair in front of the counter and started talking to me.Backed off when customers came in.Polite to customers.Itting there in my store like it was totally normal for him to be there. My male customers checking him out. Didn’t phase him. I asked him on fb to tell me his hopes and dreams. He told me over the last few days. told me problems and obstacles and financial and legal stuff. Navajo law.I took a pic and asked him if i could post it before he left the 2nd time he said yes. go ahead . when he came back i showed it him and he made sure i TAGGED it. Today evrything is gone from his news feed but I stuuf I shared with him is on his timeline. plus family pics I took and sent him from my store.So the whole 1.5 hours he spent with me the 3rd time during my 15 hour shift, he made his bro and cuz wait for him outside. He went out and had a smoke and dealt with their objections once. So my questions is what is up with him ? I mean there are obstacles. I am way older than him and I am white. and now he knows I am Jewish and that carries some weight for him. Yeah there is predudice but that is besides the point. Then there is peer pressure.his family and friends liked my pics of the bro and little sis and some friends/relatives, but no one like the pics we posted together that he is here in town with me. He did not come back here for me. there is a compelling reason he is here which he explained to me. I just don’t know what to thing. He will see me the next time i am at work. That is as far as it has gone. I mean he is getting to know me and letting me get to know him. W have always talked. we can tell each other anything. There is no such thing as platonic. i has been told.Is this guy considering me or what? what does anyone think?

Reply September 24, 2014, 11:57 pm

dwiyan

I hope my boyfriend want to be say honestly me!!

Reply September 13, 2014, 9:58 am

Grace

About 2-3 weeks ago, i began crushing on O because of the moments we have had lately.He teases me a lot, does lil pranks on me, and every time we would walk by each other, we smile or laugh for no reason. Also I’ve caught him looking at me from afar in the store, then i look at him and he just keeps staring.That has been happening in the days we have worked together. Also he checked me out because he said “damn that ass” when he was standing behind me, but in a playful manner. So its just small things like that that has happened recently, and we haven’t had the chance to talk about ourselves. Except that he also works in a gym and used to study culinary. Then this past monday he initiated the conversation, he asked “sooo, how old are you [my name]?” and we had that lil chit chat. So do you guys think he might like me or is he just being friendly? I think he might like me, but then i think about how he is a pretty boy, fit, muscular, and hes about two inches shorter than me. I’m like 5’9, “thick” not obese or super fat just a lil chubby, trust me lol. I’ve been called beautiful and pretty and stuff, but I’m just insecure at times. So what do you think?

Reply September 11, 2014, 11:25 pm

Rachel

I met this guy at work an we’ve been chattin for over 2 yrs now and started seein each other on an off when possible..I’m separated now an he stays over odd times..he seemed to be very attentive to my messages and everythin else but since he found out my age..I’m older than him..he thought I was same age..and I never told him cause he never asked and I never lied either..just seems he is on an off with txt messages..not as attentive ..although he is very carin..doesn’t show much or say much bout feelings..can anyone help..I want this to work ..he’s like my prince charmin..an I do tell him that..

Reply September 7, 2014, 4:31 am

ClassicReader101

He’s been texting me and I’ve been texting him. I even left my phone alone for a few days to see if he still wants to talk if I’m not the one starting the conversation. So far everything is positive, but he’s across the country, on a NAVY base in south carolina. We both have admitted to eachother that we want to cuddle with eachother, but him being the one with the more reliable bank funds, doesn’t try to visit. Lately I’ve been thinking he only likes me because i am over here and not right in front of him. I’m safe, it just puts a major damper on my self esteem….

Reply September 3, 2014, 6:54 pm

zainab ali

So I have known my best friend for over a year now hes liked me an expressed it but stupid as I am I thought it wouldn’t work as he lives 3 hours away I had a problem a few months back N spoke to him about it tbh he took it to the next level of caring about me now he’s protective anyways he has a gf but he’s not happy with her I told him I liked him but it was a shock to him as he was with someone at the time my mates say he likes me but I think he dlesent he has family problems an when we planned to meet up he cancelled as his parentd eeded him there he hasent told me he hates me he just cant decide how he feels unless he sees me he wants to see if we get along like we do ober internet and bbm he calls me beautiful whistles at my pictures but lately he’s not been answering his phones or text whats going on please help I need to know if I should stay or leave btw hes not that spoken meanin like he bottles all his feelings up and doesent say anything for example when canceling on me he didn’t tell me he was upset cause he really wanted to see me instead he told my male friend another thing im concerned about hes cjanged a lot cause when I used to date my ex he hardly reacted to it now if I have other male friends who flirt with me he gets all hyper about ig an frustrated its like he doesn’t want me to talk to them he even asked me who that lad wad the one who spoke to him for me please help me :'(

Reply August 31, 2014, 8:31 pm

michaela

Ok so there was this boy who i thought loved me but now he wants to be friends telling me what’s wrong being friends or why are you mad or that I will satisfy your needs and wants and I care about you I just don’t love love you anymore and that he was cold and really didn’t care how I felt he’s changed and I don’t like it what should I do?

Reply August 28, 2014, 2:42 am

shaz

Sounds to me that this guy does not love you im sorry to say , but wants to be your friend… So you have a choice – Walk away and dont speak or see him again, Or tell him ok, it will just take time for me to see you as a friend because you meant more to me than just a friend, please give me time ok and then walk away …. (i know its hard but hold your chin up and walk away with pride act like the grown up that you are). When your ready and after you have dealt with the pain of rejection, and you are ready to be friends with this guy you will know when the time comes.

Reply August 28, 2014, 6:27 am

Puzzled

Ok here’s the deal. We both work for the same company, but at different places. He found me in the end of July, I was doing some work over there. Any ways he comes to see me, tells me he’s been looking for me for a couple of years, every time he comes to my work I’m not there I’m all ways out, well he goes on to say he that he’s been wanting to talk with with me so I gave him my #. We’ve been on several dates, had sex several times . He makes feel like no other man has. It’s like I found my sole mate. Were done having kids neither one of us want any more, all of his are out on their own, on they other hand I have a revolving door my kids are grown but they have problems of some sort that brings them back home for a month or 2 some times longer. There’s more about me and he knows all of it well most of it. He wants me to go with him on weekends but I haven’t been able to go because of work, so now I wanted to do the holiday weekend with him. He’s going to visit some relatives, so I told him I could go with him there he said I wouldn’t like it. So of course I’m asking why is it getto or worse or is it high class and he has not responded back, the only thing he said was for the following weekend. But little things like this has got me thinking. He treats me with kindness and respect and I to him . I know our relationship is just beginning, ,,,, but there is that BUT Oh I almost forgot next month we both go back to work full time and he stated that there won’t be time for us maybe a weekend but no week days, this was mention about a week ago. I really believe he’s my solemate, we have so much in common. When he does come back from his weekends it’s like I can’t wait to see him, he seems happy to see me to. Am I reading to much into this? Or am I jumping to fast. He’s like the best that’s happened to me in a long, long time….Thanks for reading!**!

Reply August 24, 2014, 9:48 pm

Nikki

I started dating a guy who is in the navy about two months ago and is say we got kind of serious quick. I would see him night before he left for his underway then when he got back we continued where we left off. He recently decided that he wanted to get out of the navy sooner than planned and asked me to move with him to another state. After that night, work was really busy for him and he wasn’t texting me at all. I texted him asking if he was mad at me for some reason and he told me he was sorry and that work has just been crazy busy. He used to text me whenever he could but now it seems like I have to be the one to text him and he hasn’t made plans to see me again. Should I be worried or just wait it out?

P.s. He hasn’t been in a relationship for a while and the girl he was with was for 3 years and she cheated on him and had gotten pregnant. So he has trust issues.

Reply August 24, 2014, 5:06 pm

Nikki

Oops I left out that we would see eachother every night until he left for his underway

Reply August 24, 2014, 5:08 pm

shaz

Just wait it out, dont text, if you feel the need to text, quickly do something to keep your mind of texting, as you could spoil the relationship if you get cross or angry and say it in a text message, so dont text what ever you do. I have made the same mistake and very much regret what i said. It could be that the Navy is causing him alot of problems and thats why he wants to leave, his not happy for some reason? And maybe he thinks things are moving to quick for him… so his backing off a little as not to get hurt again. If he does have trust issues he would be worried where you are and what you are doing and who you are with ? but it seems that he is not worried about any of that as he would be texting you night and day… So i doubt its because of trust. I would just sit and wait and give him time to work things out… thats all you can do for now.

Reply August 25, 2014, 10:02 am

Mr.cat

Forget it.. The ship just sunk way too deep.. I have now been officially placed into the bro or brother-zoned.. He will only think of me as a bro… Talk to me when he is bored.. Completely ignores my messages to him and views them tommorow.. And we got way distants to the point that even i could care less what he will message me cause i know its just going to be more and more bullshit.. I can delete him anytime i want to.. But that will only make me bitter or worse.. Defeated.. He wants a bro.. I’ll give him a bro.. A bro who will just joke around with him but never sent out caring messages.. No more cute stickers to send each other like we use too.. And if he dares to call me in skype like he used to id hang up and make up a lie like he always do when i try to talk to him… Sometimes fight fire with fire is tough but you must learn to do it… Sooner or later one will crack.. He will start to miss our chatting video days or our days when we would share pictures of our visits to places.. Yes we were super close like this.. He even sent me heart stickers… And confessed that he got really close to me for some reason.. Winking emojis and cupid struck heart emojis… Goodmornings to each other ever day.. No more.. Im done being ignored when im pouring all my careness to him.. Even had the nerve to post his sick and in the hospital.. And says he isnt ignoring me but simply cant look at the screen for too long…. And then i see him online in skype and in fb for hours.. ( obviously having a good chat with someone eles ) i wont be bitter and say rude things to him.. But one thing i will say is.. I just wished that he would be prepared because karma will get you.. Someday he too will feel this feeling i felt to someone he will crush over.. And when he needs someone to cry on the shoulder too.. Well he wont get one from me..

Reply August 16, 2014, 6:36 pm

hilarious

Amen sister… be a lady about it. And keep your head up…

Reply October 29, 2014, 7:57 pm

luz

hi, my boifriend and i have been going out for a year now, the first time i saw him was at a friends howse. i inmediatly loved him. after that night i saw him three months after at the same friends howse, they were both friends. i made a move and told him i liked him and we started to go out. my problem is that i feel insecure , jelous,doubtfull and sad most of the time because i think he does not like me as much as i do. i adore him! The reason i feel insecure is because i asked him out he dint.. that makes me think that he may have never asked me out if i hadnt… i feel jelous because i think he likes my friend, he talks abot her like if he knows her very well and comparing that to me it seems he knows me very little. she is also very funny and i know she likes him.i feel doubtfull because he did say he does not like her but when she is arround he gives her full attention, not only that he also looks happyier. he gets exited when she is comming, and they stick together when i get drunk and smak my head and bleed. so yes i feel sad because i am in love with him and dont feel the same back from him even if hedoes tell me that he does. thanks for reading.
luz

Reply August 9, 2014, 1:34 pm

Mr.cat

Waoh.. Okay first off red flag for him when getting too excited bout your friend and talking bout her all the time.. That right there sounds like he is thinking about her more then you.. I havent been in a serious relationship. And personally im into guys then girls.. But i do know the fact that my brother who iam ashamed off.. Have used my friend.. They became bf and gf.. And in the end broke up with her because he really wanted the friend of my friend… He got closer to her through my friend.. And honey i dont want to be the bad person here.. But if you had the courage to ask him out and not him them another red flag.. Signs you need to watch out: was he into you when you asked him out.. Its possible he might be shy thats why you got the first pitch.. But it could also mean that the guy is just being nice and doesnt want to be a jerk for rejecting you ( which is also very jerky to accept your proposal and not like you ) and the worst kind is yes.. Became your boyfriend because he is only interested in getting close to your friend.. Does he laugh at your jokes? Even though its not funny.. When a person likes you they will laugh at your jokes no matter what and are more interested in your background / history then others or his.. Also does he confess alot to you ( meaning his past/ story etc ) that means that he really likes you and that he trusts you with all his secrets and stuff… Now if his avoidable with those questions it could also mean his insecure bout it and that he likes you alot so he doesnt want you to distant away due to his troubling or disturbing past.. Confront your friend. Tell her that his your man but at the same time dont make it sound too jealousy.. You dont want to lose your friend aswell.. Also confront him as well.. But this time not about you.. But about your friend if he likes her. Because he can repeat ove rand over that he likes you words wont mean nothing its by actions.. But you need to confirm if he has feelings for her too.. Have you met his parents? Thats another rule that the guy wants to be in your life. ( goes with any gender ) does he like to cuddle with you alot? Hold hands? Kisses?? ( in public? ) does he do that to you when your friend is around or is he distant with you when she is around?. Peoples emotions can change rapidly.. Try to make him feel special! But also try to show him that you are also special. Show him that if he loses you.. It will be a regretful one… Its okay to be jealous thats understandable but guys doesnt like being push around.. They dont like being grabbed by the neck.. Let him hang loose and make it seem like you trusr him ( ofcourse dont let him on a loose too much… That will give him an idea that he can do whatever he wants and that it will be easier for him to break up with you )

Reply August 17, 2014, 12:29 am

Annoymous

One guy in particular at was and is nosy and curious about my romantic life.One day durning break he asked “Do you have a boyfriend?” I responded with a No.He asked if I ever had one, I said yes, he then proceeded with what did you like about him? Do you miss him? Do you plan on moving back to be near him.I responded with “His personality, the fact that he liked me for me and not my looks.” I said “A little, but he obviously wasn’t the right guy” I said, no I will be staying here.That was that.I thought it was odd he was asking these, but just assumed he was a really nosy co-worker lol.

4 months later, my brother in-law was in a bad accident.I was waiting to punch in and so was my co-worker.He asked if I was okay, I said No, but I will be.He asked what happened, I told him, He pulled me in and hugged me, kissed my hand and said he was there for me.That was even stranger than the question, but again passed it off as a friendly co-worker.

Then one time I was in shopping with my mother, and He was the bagger, he came behind me and put his hands on my shoulder, then walked away, I brushed it off as him just trying to get by.At this point I was kind of interested lol, and thought I was reading into it too much. Its been 7 months now, and this past Sunday we had break on sunday, he asked me how old was too old of a guy for me, he then said one of co-workers said we should go out.

I was taking off guard, I wasn’t sure how to respond because he didn’t actually say “Will you go out with me.My response was “Mark’s teasing you”

Then he has held my hands, rubbed my cheek, has called me beautiful etc.He did ask “How about going out with me?” I said yes and we scheduled a date, but he had to cancel due to his brother having a heart attack.We haven’t rescheduled, but he keeps bringing up, saying “Just let me know when you want that rain check! I haven’t forgotten about it you know”

Then on Sunday, he told me about a dream he had.We were in the break room upstairs and I was texting, he started laughing and here’s the conversation

Me: “What’s so funny”
Him: Oh nothing -continues laughing-
Me: “Why are you laughing?! Is it because I’m texting?”
Him: “What?”
Me: “I like a good laugh too, what’s funny”
Him: “I had this dream last night about….you”
Me: “About me?”
Him: “Yeah, you were texting on your phone and I said “knock knock” and you let me in, we talked and had a good time…then you kissed me, I said “I loved you, and loved working with you, your a hard worker” and then you responded with “I think the samething.And by the way, you owe me dinner from when we had to cancel”
Me: I just mumbled on and didn’t know what to say.

There are times when he doesn’t seem interested.But then there are.Like last week, he was constantly in the same area I was, I was outside bringing carts and stuff in, and he was out stealing my carts.I jokingly responded “Stop stealing my carts” he laughed and said “I just wanna help you”

So I’m so confused on whether he is interested or not.XD

Reply August 6, 2014, 10:48 pm

Annoymous

I could really use an answer.

And the past few weeks he’s began to tease me… a lot.
Yesterday, he kept getting real close, I was bagging and he was so close that my hand almost touched his lower back, I had to pull the bag holder closer to me, so I wouldn’t accidentally touch him.He turned and looked when I backed away a bit.

Reply August 25, 2014, 11:38 am

shaz

Do you like him ? if so pluck up the courage and ask HIM out……… this guy likes you alot and your backing off for some reason…….. do you not like him ? do you not trust him ? are you scared of what might happen ? because if something is holding you back then you need to sort what that is thats holding you back.

Reply August 25, 2014, 12:59 pm

Annoymous

I just keep thinking he doesn’t like me, that he just feels bad for me.
There’s times when he doesn’t seem interested, but as soon as I’m not giving him attention, he seems interested again.

Last week, he asked me to let him know when would be a good day for our raincheck on that dinner, so I texted him and told him my days off, but he completely ignored me, I waited 4-5 days, then sent him a facebook message, and he ignored that. So I assumed he wasn’t interested, so I started backing off, and as soon as I did, he was like “What’s wrong? Are you mad at me?, Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong Sweetie?” I’m very confused, I tried rescheduling and he ignores, but he is the one that brings it up.

Reply August 25, 2014, 1:51 pm

shaz

If his ignoring your messages to arrange another date, then asks you whats wrong, then his messing with you just playing games,. Men get a ego boost when women like them, when women are not interested they think whats wrong with me ? im a god and all women should fancy me…. Does he act the same way with other girls / women ? where you work ? if so i would avoid him like the plaque

August 25, 2014, 2:12 pm

Annoymous

Nope, he doesn’t. In fact, he does the flirting in front of everyone as well.

I didn’t let the facebook message bother me too much because I noticed that he didn’t respond to any posts on his page, not even to his siblings who wished him a happy birthday etc. But the text message, he could have responded to.

August 25, 2014, 3:14 pm

Annoymous

I also notice he gets offended if I don’t let him help me with things.
For example when I was checking out at the register, he was the one bagging, I mistyped my pin for my card.He asked if I was okay, you need help, I said Nope, I’m fine.He was like “I just wanted to help sweetie”
And he’s always trying to impress my mother.One day she finally said in the car “Does that guy have a crush on your?” lol

Reply August 25, 2014, 3:19 pm

Tam

Girl….he obviously likes you and wants you to tell him when you’re available for that date he needs to make up to you. You should flirt with him back to let him know that you’re interested in you. Maybe he doesn’t know how interested you are. He did say you owe him dinner for that canceled date. Did you tell or ask him when he wants to make up for that date?

November 7, 2014, 11:20 am

Mr.cat

Im gay and i have a guy friend and he doesnt know im gay. i met him online. He was the first to interact with me. Very attractive i dont know him at all and then added me on FB. I always add friend request but they never talk to me. But he is different.. He talked to me and we started having a nice long conversation.. At first he asked for my skype and said he wants to hear my voice cause he thinks i have a cute accent.. So we chatted in skype video.. And went on for hours and we said our goodbyes.. Couple of days past i got more and more interested in him because when i do dirty jokes he would play around and do dirty jokes as well.. He would always be the first one to call me in FB or do a video chat in skype, we got very comfortable with each other as we would sent funny pics to each other or pics of places we go to.. He even confess to me one time that he had a co-worker that is a guy and had a crushed on him. He said he doesnt know that until that co-worker quit and confessed it to him.. He wasnt also very close minded about it.. He didnt say stuff like eww this gay guy liked me.. Because obviously he has some gay friends in FB. Now days passed im the one doing the effort on chatting him first and commenting first.. But he keeps becoming distant.. Takes him hours now to reply to my comments.. I would often catch him online in FB and skype and id be online but id wait a min or an hour and not reply to him and he wont reply to me at all.. But when i reply he reply back but it would take a min. He wont even say goodbye when he logs out or wont even say he will be back.. He would only say that if i chat with him. Is it possible his just those type of guy that is very friendly and that he may be leading me on but he has no clue at all.. I wondered that he probably broke many hearts and he doesnt know it.. His comments would consists of ( cute huh ) ( i appreciate my friendship with you ) ( when i joke to him about me sleeping in his bed and that im a heavy sleeper *which is obvious im flirting with him* he would suprise me and comment back like ( i will bite your ear and wake you up ) he would send me emoticons like the winking one.. The heart emoticons.. Blow kiss or blushing emoticons.., but i still cant figure him out. Its eating me slowly because im now crushing over him badly and he doesnt know it but im afraid if i confess i might end our friendship.. But he would make me feel special sometimes but other times makes me feel like a fool because he wont comment at all.. He would rather end our skype call just to answer the other friend who skype call him.. Yes im felling jealous.. When we are doing video chat i would see him making expressions at me like raising his two eyebrows repeatedly. He would laugh at my jokes even though i know its not even funny.. I often got hid in his pillow when someone went to his room and talked to him.. I heard everything and i was shocked that he hid me for no reason.. After the conversation he took me out of the pillow and talked to me like nothing happened.. Im really confused now

Reply August 5, 2014, 1:02 pm

cara p

It sounds like he likes you alot but isnt sure if he’s gay? Have you discussed this? The reason he hid you is probably because he didnt want people to see him talking to another guy on cam. You can tell if two people like each other. Maybe he’s still in the closet and trying to stay there, which means distancing himself from you. Try talking to him, tell him how you feel. Sometimes you just have to put your heart out there you know? Thats what im doing with the guy I love, we used to kiss and hold hands all the time, always flirtflirting and teasing each other. Then we didnt see each other for a week and now hes distant, we still tease each other and flirt but its not as heavy as before. And when I hugged him he seamed suprised, but still huggrd back. I guess both our crushes are confusing huh :) still, you should talk to him xxx

Reply August 14, 2014, 3:52 pm

Mr.cat

Wow tnx for the reply.. Honestly i didnt know id get a reply. I know this blog is meant for girls.. But since i was soo confused and needed some answers or motivation i searched online and found your blog tips! I too am a closeted gay.. And its hard for me to come out because my family and i are religous.. Anyways it really irritates me going to his fb pictures and seein all the girls hugging him and stuff.. My gosh i cant tell you how attractive he looks… And thats why im afraid id lose him just like that.. But its not just his looks that hooked me.. Its his very down to earth friendly attitude… We have only been talking for weeks and it felt like we have known each other for years.. He explained to me that he had his internet cut off and will be back on somewhere this week.. I miss talking to him.. But i feel like im the only one who misses him.. I do admire his effort when he uses his data and and have a little conversation with me.. I guess im just thinking too much and assuming too much.. To be honest his very verry different when chatting with him in video then chatting with him through fb messages.. In the video his lively and energetic. In the fb messages he only comments 1 to 2 words and very dull ones.. I dunno… I really really wish i can do what your suggesting me cara p.. But you see.. Its kinda hard because the situation is long distance relationship.. His all the way up in canada and im here in vegas.. I dont want to confess to him and scare him off.. Cuz that might be the last time id be able to talk to him.. We have never met each other out of the net.. I told him i want to go and see him and he also said hed like me to come to his place… But that was before we had a great chat…. Now that we got distance more often.. He started calling me his bro!! Omg i dont want to be friendzone hahaah im crying while laughing depressed and confused.. ~sigh~ i wish you all the luck on your relationship cara p :( ty

Reply August 14, 2014, 4:44 pm

Vivica

Only sum of these are true about me and my crush#sad

Reply August 4, 2014, 2:23 am

Vivica

Only like a few that were on this list were true btw saddnes

Reply August 4, 2014, 2:18 am

Talia

Okay so I have a question. I’m wondering if a guy likes me.. we have been good friends for about 5 years now and we hang out with all the same people. He has said in the past that he wants a girlfriend but it wasnt directed to me. recently I started crushing on him. Quite often i find him looking at me and we’ll make eye contact then i always look away. and we hang out almost every weekend. We dont really text at all but when we’re together were always with our other friends and we can talk about anything he loves to talk to me about farming which he does for a living. Also when we’re together. ..with our other friends He is always wanting me to rub his back.. idk if it’s because he wants me close to him or if he just wants his back rubbed. A fee weeks ago He asked me for a picture of my boobs and I told him no and he apologized immediately and said he was sorry he asked and was also happy i didnt do something that i will regret. Things were never awkward between us after that.. it wss like nothing ever happened. went to high school together and we also attend the same church and have the same beliefs. We share many hobbies. My confusion is that he’s never dated so i don’t know if he’s just not sure how to ask me out or if he’s even interested in me or if he’s worried about ruining a friendship. If you could get back to me that would be great! ! ?

Reply July 26, 2014, 10:12 am

Joi..

What does it really mean when someone says you always choose the same type of men. Does that mean, mentally, physically. I dont.know.if I truly understand that.

Reply July 18, 2014, 1:15 am

patricia

i have dis guy who he said he loves me and wants to be with me…at first i insisted and told him am not into that but he continue pressing me that he really loves me and wants to be with me so i agreed to be with him that was on campus…meanwhile we were doing it secretly since we didnt want our mates to kw about it….we talk,we chat, he advices me…we kissed several times but we didnt have sex..but the lat time in the course of french kiss he asked me to have sex but i denied…because i have not have sex before….when we vacated and came back to the house i started sendin him some flirts but he told me to stop my nonsense for he is not interested…and he also said he is a religious man and he loves god more than anything else and he also said the more i know the better for me…..lastly he said that the feelings that i have for him is lust…….pls what does he mean and what should i do too…

Reply July 8, 2014, 12:31 pm

patricia

pls i need a reply

Reply July 8, 2014, 12:34 pm

shaz

He loves god ? but wants sex outside of marriage ? He just wanted to bed you i am sorry to say and is just giving you the brush off because your not putting out. More like he is saying to you, the feelings he has for you is lust and he just wants sex. Find a man that deserves you, this one does not you are worth more than that, Please do not txt him, even if he txts you, because he may think he still has a chance of bedding you if you txt him. His a player and a loser !! No real man would treat a lady like he has and is.

Reply July 8, 2014, 3:14 pm

patricia

again he also said that i should focus on my future in heaven first then my future as a career woman before handling this fire that i know will surely burn me …and he also said that the earlier i realize that he love god first before anything the best for me and also i should focus on my life and build it first and he also said we have a long time to talk about things like this….i can say that when we were on campus he forced me to love him but now i dont know what he is thinking about now…….sometimes he behaves as if he love me, then other time he behave as if am just a sister to him…..is kind of confusing to me …….serious i love this guy….i have given my heart to him but it seems he doesnt care about me at all…..pls what should i do……because he doesnt call me or txt me..am kind of worried……pls i need i reply…

Reply July 9, 2014, 6:25 am

patricia

pls i need a reply

July 9, 2014, 7:04 am

eldon

Shaz is telling you the truth…he lied for sex and since you aren’t putting out now, he’s not working on you anymore. He’s playing games and you are looking for something that is not there…Go on with your life and put all of this energy into someone else. The infatuation/love/crush will leave but shop fueling it….let it go…

August 10, 2014, 10:43 am

Ms.adorn

There is guy in my life named DJ.At first we started talking then we started dating a few weeks after.He seemed like the right one but then he stop replying to my emails.I really love and very afraid of losing him.i have no idea about if he still loves me.I hope he still does.so can someone reply and tell me what I should do cause I do not want to lose him

Reply July 5, 2014, 3:47 am

kathleen

I have been talking to a guy for about 6 months now. When we first started to talk we told each other that we liked each other. He wanted to take it slow get to no each other more, I agreed because I thought it was a good idea to. He asked me to be patient with him and I have. Still am. We have gotten really close. We talk about everything and anything and are completely comfortable with each other. When we are around each other we hold hands and act like we are together. He always says things like your perfect and between us it always will be. When he hugs me he says I wish I could hold u forever and when we arnt together he says he wishes we r. But the past couple of time that he has said let’s chill he never texts with a time and I’ll texts him to ask if we r and never texts back. The other night we made plans too hang after I got out of work. I texted him after and no reply back. He texted me latter that night and said he was really sorry and that he wants to make it up to me. I told him its ok and he can if he likes and he said he pinky promises to. After we stopped talking that night he hasn’t talked to me since. I don’t want to jump to conclusions so I figure he is busy, but its very confusing. Because I feel like one minute he likes me and the next it seems like he doesn’t want to see me. And when he says he does he never goes threw with the plans. I tryed talking to him about my feelings once and that I was confused and he said he didn’t have to deal with this, so now I don’t want to ask why he never goes threw with seeing me. Does he still like me or is he over me? Am I just over thinking it? Please help!!

Reply June 30, 2014, 1:39 pm

kathleen

I have been talking to a guy for about 6 months now. When we first started to talk we told each other that we liked each other. He wanted to take it slow get to no each other more, I agreed because I thought it was a good idea to. He asked me to be patient with him and I have. Still am. We have gotten really close. We talk about everything and anything and are completely comfortable with each other. When we are around each other we hold hands and act like we are together. He always says things like your perfect and between us it always will be. When he hugs me he says I wish I could hold u forever and when we arnt together he says he wishes we r. But the past couple of time that he has said let’s chill he never texts with a time and I’ll texts him to ask if we r and never texts back. The other night we made plans after to hang after I got out of work. I texted him after and no reply back. He texted me later that night and said he was really sorry and that he wants to make it up to me. I told him its and he can if he likes and he said he pinky promises to. After we stopped talking that night he hasn’t talked to me since. I don’t want to jump to conclusions so I figure he is busy, but its very confusing. Because I feel like one minute he likes me and the next it seems like he doesn’t want to see me. And when he says he does he never goes threw with the plans. I tryed talking to him about my feelings once and that I was confused and he said he didn’t have to deal with this, so now I don’t want to ask why he never goes threw with seeing me. Does he still like me or is he over me? Am I just over thinking it? Please help!!

Reply June 30, 2014, 1:33 pm

sharon

Can some one try and shine some light on this for me , and has it ever happened to any one else ? …. i have been just chatting to a guy on facebook over the past two weeks just general chat about things we have in common, he doesnt say much and never talks about himself at all. This is fine i do not mind at all, as i know its a sign of him not being into me, its just the friendly chat i like. Yesterday he messaged me and said “Hi” i said Hi how are you ? no reply then he said “Hi again – no reply………. ok not talking then i thought fine by me, so just left it at that, then low and behold out of no where he shares MY timeline, direct link to my time line on his page ? ….. this has got me stumped,…. His not doing it for attention, because he would message me and not ignore me, so why has he done this ? never have i come across a guy /girl doing this,,,, i am wondering is it him showing me off to his mates ? …. anyone else had this, i mean i am pretty much in touch with men and there behavior but this has got me stumped. maybe some one can shed a light on this ? am i right ? in thinking his showing me off ? hopefully it may help others if they have come across this.

Reply June 26, 2014, 6:17 pm

Brittany

I had too many red flags that the relationship was only gonna crash and not be the same again. I met this guy on fb and we got alone real good, he was eager to meet me and told me and others that he liked me. He was always texting me, calling me beautiful and said that I would give him butterflies whenever I would talk to him. We finally met 2 weeks later and it was a double date, we got alone fine and had our 1st kiss and told me how much he enjoyed himself on his fb status. We hung out a few days later went to his place and watched movies, and made out. Afterwards I haven’t seemed him a couple weeks bc I was busy. We were suppose to hang out again but he didn’t wake up in time bc he was out late partying he stood me up a couple times always hanging out with his best friend who was a girl. I got jealous over that. We hung out the 3rd time and he seemed different. I confronted him and wanted to know what his problem was and he finally told me that he that was having second thoughts and said that he could see us together for a while but not forever and said that I needed someone better than him and kept distanced. I find out bc he was a heroin addict. I was so heart broken bc he led me on to vanish later. We didn’t talk in 5 months And met again at a funeral, he looked shocked to see me he hugged me but would stick around me and stayed cleared like I was intimidating to him. I contacted him on th and said that I accepted that we didn’t work out and wished him the best and that I wasn’t mad anymore. He messaged me back and told me that I caught him off guard but that it wasnt weird seeing me saying that he missed me and kept me in his thoughts and sometimes wished that we would of worked out. Still says that I’m beautiful and amazing. I tried asking him if he wanted to hang out this Sumer just as friends but he never got back to me so I feel stupid and shouldn’t of bothered. I won’t ever do that again but someone please tell me what you think?

Reply June 8, 2014, 5:16 pm

Jessica Lee Hughes

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months tomorrow we have 5 kids toget ther 3 are his and 2 are mine he works and i take care of them my 2 go to there dads every other week but his 3 live with us. But i really want him to love on me more or help me with thing when i ask i do everything he askes me to do and he dose nothing i ask but the mane thing is when we get ready to have sex he wants me to just please him like he dont kiss me or anything to get me ready he just wants me to suck him off wich i dont mind but i just wish he would like kiss me and rub on me first but its like there is no real Passion for me what should bi do?

Reply June 4, 2014, 11:24 am

eldon

Why are you taking care of him after only 5 months? Why are you allowing him to do NOTHING but babysit he and his kids? And the loving ain’t all that either? Go back, read your post and ask yourself what do u want..

Reply August 10, 2014, 10:52 am

sharon

Sounds to me this guy has the perfect slave ? it takes two to make a relationship work not one – (you). if you want to be a slave then let things be, but you have posted a comment about it , so your far from happy at being a slave to this so called man who thinks his GOD” (Show the guy) the DOOR…. right now. if it was me he would get my size 8 on the way out.

Reply August 14, 2014, 4:40 pm

Cute

Just to clarify on the question below , it’s only been a month since we started texting and we haven’t talked face to face in the one month.

Reply May 1, 2014, 5:26 pm

Cute

There’s this guy I’m totally into, met him 2 or 3 years ago where I used to work. Our interaction wasn’t much, but I bumped into him a few times over the last few months. And recently I realised that I actually like him, and he is friends with some friends of mine. So I got his number from my friend and sent him a text to say hi. We chatted a bit then next day he sent a text asking what made me text him and asked me if I had a thing for him, which I admitted and then he said he’s always found me attractive and wanted to get close to me etc but hadn’t wanted to do make it awkward because of my work. So we continued chatting everyday, he would text to say good morning etc although sometimes he would take long to respond to my messages but I understand he had work. Then there was an event over easter and I asked him if he wanted to come ( I had no one to go with but also thought I would enjoy his company) but he said he wouldn’t make it. After that I felt like maybe he didn’t really like me that much and after the whole easter thing it became awkward, and I also felt like maybe I pursued him too much by sending him that very first text to say hi and also asking him to go with me to the event. So I decided to lay off. Then the Tuesday after easter he called (until then we had never spoken on the phone, we would only text) to apologise for his silence and that he had a lot of pressure at work and he tends to withdraw when under pressure so I should not think he doesn’t want to talk to me. And we talked again the next day but I had still continued with my decision to let him be the one to pursue me. But since then he has been completely quiet and it’s a week now. Could it be that he really doesn’t like me? I don’t know if he expects me to reach out to him just because he told me about his work pressure, which I can’t do because I need to know that he’s interested in me by making an effort. At one point he told me that he ended an engagement last year, the girl really hurt him and he now has issues with trust and commitment. Was it a way of saying he doesn’t want a relationship? Please help, I don’t know what to make of all this. Thanks

Reply May 1, 2014, 5:18 pm

emma

i met this guy online… i know it wasnt planed. anyways we chatted and set it off flirted like crazy. then i messaged him and never got a reply… a week later after i stopped giving him attention he messages me and is even keener, and then is like can i kiss you wen we meet, and then asked to meet up in the next week, he then procceds to ask me if i thought he was hot (he would go to the gym alott and send me progress shots) i mean i found him attractive. and im not going to lie i am not ugly… but then he stoped txting me and i txt him asking wen he wanted to meet up and we arranged a time at night, and he suggested we go lay down on the beach, i sent a txt that day to confirm (heard nothing back) then it was begin to reach 6.15 pm and i got a txt saying sorry quit my job in the morning really stressed out and messed up cant make it…sorry.and then we did not speak for 8 weeks, i sent him a fb post wishing him a happy easter then got a reply 3 days later so i messaged him just being friendly asking how he was, he message back surprisingly and then i asked about the gym and yeah would say things like awww so proud of you babe. “you would look adorable in anything” then he started flirting with me, and asked me do u think friends with benefits ever works? i said well depends on the situation, some people develop emotions and thats not good” he said i just honestly can’t take the time out for a relationship at the moment and i replied “mmm dont know how thats going to work” i think he got a little cut. then we flirted again after that and the next day i messaged him (heard nothing) then sent another (heard nothing) what i wanna know is what the hell is his game? seriously , i no longer like him i am just curious

Reply April 25, 2014, 3:55 am

Jennifer

I met a guy that’s 39 yearsold on a dating site a couple of months ago. I’m 42. We went on few dates we get along great. I’ve held his hand twice and he put his arm around me. I met his family. He hasn’t ever dated anyone else and is a virgin. We had a conversation the other day where he told me he really respects and likes who I am but I’m not the type he is attracted to normally but him attractive enough. He asked if it came down to it would I marry a man that I was best friends with but didn’t sleep with. He also said he might eventually want to but as of right now he isn’t sure he would want to.

Reply April 19, 2014, 4:47 pm

Jenna

He’s gay.
Hun, what kind of man is 39 and a virgin and meets a beautiful woman such as yourself but doesn’t want to throw you on a bed and ravish you? Tells you you aren’t attractive enough?! I’ll tell you what kind. The gay kind. Ditch him.

Reply April 22, 2014, 11:01 pm

Meredith

He could also have erectile dysfunction, fear of scaring her away with his poor technique, or even be asexual and trying to clumsily cover for any of the above. Remember that he says he’s 39 and never been in a relationship, which is honestly a bigger deal to me than than being a virgin. Why don’t you just ask him what his type usually is? He COULD be gay, seeing as how he’s perfectly fine with you meeting his family but may never want sex with you. I always feel better after getting something big out in the open with boyfriend. And we’ve had some pretty comically big misunderstandings. If he means enough to you that you’re wondering about this instead of breaking up with him no questions asked, talk to HIM.

Reply May 2, 2014, 5:42 pm

Meredith

Now that I’m thinking about it, it’s possible that he may have a sexual hangup or kink that he doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you about yet. My advice stays the same: Ask.

Reply May 2, 2014, 5:53 pm

sharon

Sounds to me that this guy is being honest with you, he is a true GENT. Some people meet and are not always attracted to each other, but they get on like a house on fire …. this guy is telling you he doesnt fancy you but values your friendship he is being honest. But its possible that if your friendship grows, love might blossom.

Reply August 14, 2014, 4:52 pm

CuriousGirl

Okay,I’ve recently just started talking to this guy online(for about a week). He contacted me first actually wanting to get to know me! (Nothing sexual) He always told me “if you had anything to talk about,call me,wether im at work or whatever,i wanna be there for you”! Everything was goin good untill the 3td day,he started talking about sex! Like,he would say things like ‘When we get to that point,can we………’. Now all he talks about my butt,aha.Its turning me off!

And it kinda has me thinking he just want sex!

But i dont wanna come off as mean or pushy,because he told me “How you treat and talk to me,is how imma do you”.
Because he can.be a little sensitive! He’s white and im black,im 18 and he’s 23!

Does he just want sex? Is he a good guy? Should i stop talking to him?

Reply March 25, 2014, 3:20 pm

Jenna

The man is a straight up DOG! Be mean and pushy girl. He doesn’t deserve you. He only wants one thing, and it’s definitely not your heart….

Reply April 22, 2014, 11:04 pm

Lauren

I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 2 years;but we lived only a couple of hours away so that’s not so bad. We’ve decided to move in together next year because I had to stay for professional reason.
Although last week, before he said he didn’t want this relationship anymore. So I went there to talk it through and he said he needed a week to really think about what he wants. He has an ex gf who he stayed with for 4 years but it was over a few years ago. Now he said he misses her because she has the same hobbies and she’s perfect outdoor sports woman like him (but i’m not so good at them).
So he thinks she’s better match and he doesn’t know if i’m the love of his life. But he keeps saying i’m the perfect woman and that he misses me but he’s too confused and can’t ask me to wait so we broke up a few days ago. The thing is, his ex gf is not even single and she’s been in a committed relationship for a few years too now.
Is it wrong that i still want him in my life? that i still think he’s my perfect man.. I know it sounds wrong but yet I don’t care because I had my doubts before and now he has his.. I wanna support this through but I don’t even know if that’s a good idea. Advice?

Reply March 24, 2014, 4:53 pm

mia

so there is this guy that got back in contact with me out of the blue, after a couple of years. Initially, the few months after, we would chat. He would occasionally ask to meet up. then one day we did. Afterwards there was very little contact with him. He would never be available to chat. I didn’t mention anything since i figure he was busy with work and whatnot. This continued for months. I would always check for messages, or leave ones, but got short responses. We haven’t had a real conversation, let alone chat, in a long time. However, a few months back, we met briefly since he was around the area. Afterwards, again, hes never really there to chat. Im tired of mentally making excuses for him. I just want to talk to him as friends, but how can i if we dont talk? What does this mean/ why is he distant when he was the one who got into contact with me? Should i ask him about it, and how so? Is it a lost cause? I would like to know whats going on.

Reply January 24, 2014, 11:28 pm

Sapphyreopal5

I would move on with your life. If someone actually likes you, he will keep in contact as opposed to playing B/S games like this. I think that when people forgive things they actually do not appreciate at all and keeping doing such (and also making excuses for the person), they are doing themselves and the other person a disservice. It makes people more likely to try taking advantage of you. I think this is more of a lost cause honestly. It’s up to you what you do and asking doesn’t hurt, but I honestly would not get your hopes up about him.

Reply January 25, 2014, 11:07 am

Emily

Please the guy I like toled me he likes me. He would talk to me then it was Christmas break and we did not see each other when I got back he started to ignore me I will see him stare at me then whin I look at him he looks away like nothing happened when I talk to him he will answer then look away and whiny say any thing else

Reply January 24, 2014, 6:41 pm

Caroline

Ok so I’m a freshman and I met this junior, Bobby, in student council this year. He plays soccer. It’s January and our relationship has been building very well. He sits by me everyday usually and we talk and laugh and I even asked him for advice on this guy that liked me but I didn’t like him.also he had me as his secret Santa and he went so it off his way to make sure he got me something good that he asked my brother for advice and he’s not even really depends with my brother anyway.then the day we were supposed to exchange gifts he couldn’t be there cause he had the flu but he was so concerned that I want going to get my present that he came in that morning and dropped it off with a 100 degree fever. Another thing is last night after my bros basketball game I went down on the court to say hi to that guy that liked me because Bobby was down there.I was like hey Bobby and he was like hey Caroline. I was going for the first bump but then he hugged me! The hole time I was talking to the guy that liked me Bobby was making faces behind him cause he knew about it and I was like shut up Bobby playfully and he laughed.also we snapchat all the time.I always start out but he usually replies but some times he doesn’t which worries me and I really don’t want to be that annoying little freshman that has a crush on him.sorry this is long but any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Reply January 4, 2014, 11:21 pm

Abby

The boy I like has never spoke to me. We always, I mean ALWAYS make eye contact. I sometimes wonder if he’s maybe too shy to talk to me? I would try talk to him but I’m afraid he thinks I’m a creep..
I got moved to his group in one of my classes with 2 of my friends and he only speaks to them which then again makes me think that he dosent like me..
Then again, when I never liked him, I never seen him around.. But now I have feelings for him and after all the eye contact we make in classes he’s always there when I turn around!!
Any suggestions?

Reply January 1, 2014, 7:56 pm

Kay

For one keep calm and don’t make it too obvious to him that you like him. Since you’re in his group, ease your way into his conversation by laughing a bit at something amusing or saying a small comment about w/e. See how he is with you in conversation wise and maybe things will go well after that if he isn’t a jerk.

Reply January 1, 2014, 11:49 pm

Sara

I’ve liked this guy for about a year and over the summer we texted a lot, and they weren’t just flimsy conversations. When we saw eachother in school this year we had almost every class together. He walks with me between classes and we texted almost every night about homework or just to say good night. Then he started gving me mixed messages he would always tease me for liking our mutal friends who were guys, which I would deny and he even joked about holding my hand . Recently I went to suport him at one of his matches, he acted really excited to see me and I sat next to him while he waited for his turn. He then ignored me and only talked to the girl on the other side of him, but he kept taking pictures of me. I am so confused. I thought maybe he didn’t know I liked him so I’ve been trying to talk to him more and clue him in(basically everything short of saying I like him). So my questions are: does he like me? and what should I do?
Thank you,
Sara

Reply November 22, 2013, 11:57 pm

Jane

I met a guy like three years before. I liked him so like after one and half year i proposed him. He said no but we became friends and then after sometime we were in a relationship. it has been almost a year and half but i dont feel same anymore. The problem is he never did the thing i expected from him then we have fights and he promises to never make that mistake. I believed but then he does it again. I am so tired of all these things. Today i don’t wanna meet him and i hardly call. Whenever he calls he says he misses me so much and i feel so irritated. but when we have fights its again me who fix it up. I can’t breakup with him nor i wanna be in this relation. What should i do please help me

Reply November 5, 2013, 10:14 am

Jane

I met a guy like three years before. I liked him so like after one and half year i proposed him. He said no but we became friends and then after sometime we were in a relationship. it has been almost a year and half but i dont feel same anymore. The problem is he never did the thing i expected from him then we have fights and he promises to never make that mistake. I believed but then he does it again. I am so tired of all these things. Today i don’t wanna meet him and i hardly call. Whenever he calls he says he misses me so much and i feel so irritated. but when we have fights its again me who fix it up. I can’t breakup with him nor i wanna be in this relation. What should i do please help me

Reply November 5, 2013, 9:53 am

Stephanie

I’m a Junior in High school. I can say that I’m known by a lot of people and friendly to everyone. I’m a cheerleader and I have a major crush on this football player. Let me be honest here, I’ve never noticed him until recently when we were on this college trip for school. I was going up the escalator to the 2nd floor with my friends because they were wanting to order some smoothies, I look down at the cafeteria, we were sitting and eating lunch at the school and I see him staring at me as I leave the area. It was full on eye contact. Not sure on how many seconds it was but it was for some time. That’s when I started noticing him more. Yeah, I said many times before to everyone, “he’s adorable.” but I meant it in a friendly way and all of a sudden, I’m just starting to notice him. Anyway, that night it was a away game and my friends & I decided to go with some parents to the game and cheer on the boys since we’re cheerleaders anyway and my one friends boyfriend is on the team so that’s also another reason. I was talking to my friend and I was telling her, “Yeah, T (1st initial of his name) is adorable” and cheering him on after he got off the field. Later finding out that his father was sitting next to my friend and heard everything that I was saying about his son (and it was all friendly things, nothing mean). Weeks pass and its just been small glances at each other here and there. I feel like I’m being shy around him but again I don’t, I’m just being myself. Recently at the a away game that we had to cheer at, I noticed him glancing over a few times but I’m not relying on glances to indicate anything. So, I decided to man or woman up and message him on facebook, I said “Hey T. We haven’t talked in a while, but how are you doing?” Really, I haven’t talked to him much but still I said small things to him before and he had English/History with me last year so he kind of knows me/my personality a bit. He saw the message but didn’t reply. My friend said it was good that I messaged him and I planted the seed in his head, as in me making the first move to be friends with him and to get him to think about me. On facebook, if you know where it shows friends box and few people, well he sometimes pops up on random things on my facebook page and it feels like he goes to look at my page but I’m not sure. What does that mean? Should I even be worried that he didn’t reply or maybe he read but forgot to reply? What do you think or maybe it’s better if I start talking to him in person 1st?

Reply October 29, 2013, 5:39 pm

Tyra Robinson

I must say, I have a crush on a guy that is popular and as for me Im just plain old me. But the thing about him is that it was freshman year in high school and he came to my table in English class and he started talking to us then I was the only one that talked to him the most and honestly I started to develop feelings for him. This year I’m a sophomore and everytime I walk pass we..well he glances at me and I look down because I’m afraid that he might scowl at me but I try my best to run because my body language gave it all away and I saw him today and he walked the other way far from usual. Plus hes around a lot of girls that seem popular plus he’s a football player. Another thing is that at times I see him grinning at me. Idk its blurred lines for me right now I’m just confused and a little hurt. Does anyone have a clue of what he is doing?

Reply October 29, 2013, 3:20 pm

Kay

Has anything happened since then?

Reply December 8, 2013, 8:47 pm

Christina

I have a crush on this guy. We don’t talk at all. He’s popular and i’m just…known. I catch him staring at me sometimes or trying to steal glances at me and we always do this eye contact thing when we look at each other at the same time, but it’s purely accidental. He laughs with his friends and he would be like red and about to die from laughter and as soon as i walk by he immediately looks at me with a straight face as if he was never laughing. It’s weird to me because we don’t talk and he just gives me these blank stares like he’s trying to figure me out. What does this mean?

Reply October 28, 2013, 9:30 pm

Tayla

So theres tis guy i met at a pure events party, we clicked and he asked me for my number, i felt nothing then up until he started to make moves on me like hugging me from behind and all that ish, then i started to fall for him, hes one of my best friends friend and they go to the same school. he told me he felt something for me and that that night wasnt a hook up, i told him the same. all of a sudden he stopped messaging me, so i said hey when i saw he was online… but he ignored me, i asked him why he was ignoring me and then he ignored me again. i dont know what i did, im really confused, any one got some ideas as to why hes ignoring me…

Reply October 15, 2013, 8:14 am

anonymous

. I met this guy online and at first he was very sweet to me. he Is a very busy with work and school so we hardly had time to see each other often. at first, I really didn’t feel anything for him but he kept texting me evryday and even sending me pictures of what he is doing and things like that so I negan to like him. we ve had sex 2 times but recently he has been so distant. he didn’t message me for 3 days and when I asked he jst told me he had been busy with lots of eork. but after then I was the only one initiating contact. I’m just really confused because he did tell me that he was interested in me and I told him also. sometimes I see him online and he woundn’t even message me. I just also made up my mind not to message him and live my life. I just wish he would tell me if he isn’t interested anymore to save me the stress of not knowing.

Reply October 9, 2013, 5:45 pm

Kristie

This guy sent me a friend request on Facebook I accepted. Then he asked me if we had ever met before my answer was no. Then he says want to. I really reply to it. Then we actually start messaging back and forth a lot. We’ll I agreed to meet. So we set a place and time. We meet things go good. He ask me if I wanted to meet again I said yes. He tells me that he’s free every evening except on a certain day. I said ok. When I’m leaving he tells me to call him the next day. And of course I did . He said he wanted to meet but he was working late. I said ok. The next day he txt me and says his girlfriends back. I told him I hope it worked out and wished him the best of happiness. Then 3 days later I see him at a football game with her. He had to walk in front of me to get into the game. After they pass me he looks back at me and smiles. Then watches me the rest of the game. He keeps on his close friends list. And he checks out my timeline. I really like this guy but I don’t know what to think. Ihe keeps tabs on me I know for sure. Is he trying to keep me on the back burner in case they don’t work out again. Please help!!

Reply September 26, 2013, 10:42 pm

Kate

There’s this guy that I used to work with and he would come up and talk to me quite a bit. He was quite shy but when other girls started to join our conversation he wouldn’t really talk to them the way he talked to me seeming a little bit disinterested. At the time I didn’t really think about it then all of a sudden I had this massive crush on him. He then quite where we were both working to focus on school. While this was happening I was still instant messaging him.

I’ve found out that we have heaps in common such as music, sport and subjects and other little things. Except I’m always the one starting the conversation and asking the questions. He doesn’t ignore them but i’m still the one doing the work. This has been going on for a couple of months in hope that he would start a conversation first, but it hasn’t happened yet. So i’ve decided not to talk to him for a while because i’ve been quite busy.

What I want to know is if he is interested in me. Because I think he definitely was before but ever since he quit and i’ve only been talking to him on Facebook it seems different. He is also really shy so i’m not sure if thats a contributing factor aswell. It could also possibly be that its our last year of school (we just have some exams in a couple of weeks then we’re done) and he doesn’t want a relationship at the moment. Or is he disinterested???

Reply September 26, 2013, 7:03 pm

stacey

I had a huge crush on a guy when I was a sophomore in high school who showed no interest in me whatsoever. He was a football & baseball player. I used to hang around the ballpark all the time just because of him. He knew I had a crush on him and eventually became irritated that I was showing up to his games all the time. He even told his friends that he had no interest in me. When they told me I was heartbroken & igot on with my life.

About a year later later, in my junior year, I had a guy friend who was also friends with this same guy tell me that one day I was walking by them hanging out during lunch and this guy suddenly flipped out and told him I was “hot” and that he would love to go out with me but was too shy to come right out and ask. I thought that was strange because he had told people he had zero interest in me a year before. I remember whenever he would see me at his games he would get this irritated scowl on his face like he wanted me to get the hell away & now he is telling all his friends he wants to go out with me! Very strange!

By that time, I had moved on & was dating someone else. This guy now was the one who started showing up everywhere I went. He would walk by my classes all the time. He would stare at me the entire lunch period & wait for me after school. He found out where I lived & started driving by my house, especially at night. His friends would tell me that he talked about me non stop. It got really weird. This went on for over 2 yrs, even after graduation. It’s now been almost 30 yrs ago and a mutual friend from school, who I ran into a few weeks ago, told me this guy still asks about me to this day and wants to know “Whatever happened to that good-looking girl?”

Maybe my story is the exception, but sometimes they do an about-face. Same thing happened with a friend of mine & her husband. He used to hate her and thought she was a “leech” who wouldn’t leave him alone. They’ve now been happily married for over 25 yrs and have kids and grandkids. So yeah, it can happen sometimes.

Reply September 22, 2013, 2:53 am

Joe

I researched Softmore high school age, so assume you was 15-16 at that time, how old was he? Only thing I can assume is that at that age a year later can make a difference in a girls attractiveness. I know when I was that age group many 15 y/o dawky girls ended up becoming very attractive a few years later, and vice versa some of the most beautiful girls I remember when I was 15 had lost it within a few years later. But the stalking aspect and fact that he still goes on about you 30 years later makes me feel that his life screwed up and he sees you as the one that could of been.

Reply September 24, 2013, 3:01 pm

Confusedgal

It’s been about 9 months that I keep seeing a guy from my uni everywhere, he stares at me everytime he sees me and looks away when I look back. we see each other on the same train to uni or in the train station and at the start he used to look at me and instead of sitting facing me he would change seats so he would have his back on me, then turn around every few mins and check to see if im looking at his direction. This then changed and he started sitting opposite to me at the far end though, and just stare and look away. recently hes been smiling and walking past, but he has some sort of an arrogance in his behaviour, that tends to make me confused as to why he stares and smiles if hes not interested ??? he looks away like “I’m too good for you” then keeps looking back to see if im looking at him…. and well of course I AM ! :/ he has never approached me and stands as far as possible whenever he can, but still continues to watch me. is there a chance that he has a gf and that’s why he hasn’t approached me yet, but just likes to look at me, or is he playing hard to get ? and what should my reaction be from now on? sorry for the long question i’m just way too confused. I come home smiling and continuously remember hes looks and smiling, its getting way too much :/

Reply September 15, 2013, 4:14 am

Joe

So true. Considering linking this to my fb wall! Its exactly the signals I have been sending both subconsciously and consciously to a girl that I think might be interested in me. We are friends from Uni, since Uni finished I have only met her once, I have never been attracted to her in anyway but in Uni I did occasionally get the sense that she might of been attracted to me. Since we finished Uni, she would occasionally message me once in a while and we would chat on text/whats app or facebook etc and I had no problem with that, but then the messages started getting more frequent and more mundane. Just random hello how are u every couple of days etc. Before this she had a habit of imitating certain things about me, e.g I once mentioned I had a pet bird and then a week later she messaged me telling me she had bought a bird, she also seems to like going on holiday to places that I have previously visited etc. So once the messages from her became more frequent I thought the best way would be to just snub her politely, by not responding to her hello’s in a way that would lead to a conversation etc. E.g Her: Hey, how you doing? Me: Good thanks, hope your well. Instead of taking the hint she tried to adapt and find a work around, and resorted to asking random questions that she hoped would at the very least arouse my curiosity e.g one was “Hey what do you know about North Korea” to which I responded “not much” pretty certain she was hoping/expecting a “why” in my responde, also started inviting me to random facebook events, randomly liking pics I uploaded on FB months before at 3am, randomly messaging me telling she told a photographer friend she met on facebook to add me because I might be able to help him, even thou I have no clue about photography, but I do a lot of photoshop stuff etc. That was my last contact with her yesterday and the first time I have straight up ended up blanking her. I responded with: I don’t accept friend request from people I have never met, i looked at the link she sent of the guys work and really from the pics i saw felt indifferent to it but told her his work looked nice to be polite, I mentioned I don’t know much about photography but, being the polite guy that I am, I told her to tell him he could message me if he had questions and if I could help I would try. Thought that would be that but then she replies with a message trying to initiate a conversation, using his work and her analysis of it, and I just didn’t bother responding. Not out of rudeness but frustration that someone can miss such obvious stop annoying me signals! If the same annoying messages and behaviour continues I will probably just post this article on my FB wall, cos describes the news perfectly!

Reply September 12, 2013, 9:59 pm

Angel

I think you should post the article. Thank you for being polite to her, that’s a great type of character to have, but you’re also letting the situation continue. She probably stalks your profile, so after reading this, hopefully she’ll stop and won’t ever repeat her behavior in the future. Just my opinion..

Reply September 14, 2013, 1:44 pm

Joe

Lol, kinda hard now cos the minute she scrolls through these comments she will see mine and know its about her. Thankfully since i ignored the fb message i mentioned, she has not messaged me any personal messages or made attempts to start conversations per say, her only communication has been two messages with just the links to articles and no nonsense that she usually sends so that was cool and left me not feeling obliged to respond. So I think she has gotten the hint and now hopefully her response is not the usual resentment that some girls seem to resort too.

Reply September 21, 2013, 3:33 pm

Joe

Found a work around and hey presto no messages for 3 weeks now. Got a girl to randomly ask me that question on my wall saying she was researching male behaviour etc and I responded with my hints n other guys mostly agreed. The funny thing about my unwanted admirer is that the next day she sent me two messages just with links to articles, I am pretty certain not to appear ‘guilty’. Since then my news feeds have shown a couple of cryptic posts from her, but can’t say if she’s cursing me cos even before she was the type to regularly be posting cryptic attention seeking posts etc .

Reply October 19, 2013, 9:41 am

Angel

Haha smart move, & at least she has stopped. Hopefully she has learned a lesson on what not to do when you like a guy!

Reply October 20, 2013, 4:27 am

Fazela

I met this guy online at first he said he want to be serious and he says all the nice things that a girl would like to hear. I thought that I met prince charming. After 2 months he started logging off on me because I don’t want to send him a private picture then after a month he said forget about the picture he is just testing me to see if I am a decent woman. Since then we hardly get to talk I have sent him a lot of e-mails and messages and he said his working really hard to finish his contract job so he can fly and come to meet me. I keep telling him that when a man loves a woman he make time for her no matter how busy he is. He hardly log in to chat with me and when he does it is just for a short time and he gets angry when I ask questions. I seems he is stressed with his job and taking it out on me. He also swears sometimes and he tell me I don’t appreciate the time he is giving me. I feel like he is doing me a favour by spending time with me. I love this guy but i don’t like the way he is treating me. He logs of or threaten to log of on me somtimes. It seems he just want me to listen to him and respect him. He feels that he have the upper hand. I love this guy. I want him to see my true value and treat me like a queen and a diamond. What do I do? What do I say to him? When ever I tell him how I feel he says I am nagging. He sometimes send short messages that he is thinking of me day and night and I am always in his heart. Also the message says he misses me. I am confused if he misses me why does’nt he find the time to chat with me 1 hr a week at least. I put my self on hold for him for months. How do I get him to chase me? I want him to realize he would lose me and I want him to start thinking I do not want someone else to have her.

Reply September 5, 2013, 1:23 pm

Helen

I would just move on. What he is doing is abusive and if he is doing this now without even had met, he will be worse in person. I also have a feeling that he is fake. This is online dating right? I was chatting with a guy online and something similar occurred like your story. I would just move on. There are many people that will give you the time of day you deserve! Love yourself.

Reply September 10, 2013, 2:40 pm

zahra

no, he is not intrested in you . he is looking for some good time , he tried but you refused so now he has no intrest .you want him to treat you like a queen , how will you ask him ,well you cant, a good man will treat you like one , you dont have to ask them.

you are going to see a better man , a gentleman , who will love you and treat you better because you deserve one .and you will find him if you act wise ,dont make rash decisions and wait ….

Reply October 11, 2013, 1:48 pm

Cs

I had exactly the same experience like yours. I am true to my feelings, after few chats with some guys before him, he was the one I found really comfortable with. My dream is always to have a white bf. I am Asian,by the way. But, he was busy. After 2 weeks, I could hardly notice that his messages sounded just “COLD”. I knew the fact that he’s no longer interested or has no interest since the beginning. I did not ask him about that, I can take it that he is not serious.I gave him my time to talk, with all hope and my heart. It hurt me that he was not true. At least he should let me know that he did not like me. Boys are like that, they don’t want to admit their true feeling. They think it is a best way not to hurt girls and not having girls treating them as liars. Or they lose their manhood. In fact, we girl just want truth. It hurt me, but I want to move on. No one has right to break my heart. You should move on and you will find a man who will want to give you all his time, no matter how busy he is….

Reply April 22, 2014, 2:45 pm

Girl

There’s a guy that I like, he told me he liked me, and we hung out and flirted and had tons of fun! Then he ignored me, we haven’t talked in forever or hung out. He won’t answer my texts or anything. I’m wondering is he over me or is he playing some kind of game. Cuz whatever it is I don’t like it!

Reply August 21, 2013, 11:38 pm

Astrid

Been there. Best thing to do is don’t over analyze things. What happens happens. If you two truly we meant to be it will happen. Until then live your life each day to fullest. Make your life so amazing people will want to be in it with you. First step in that is positive thinking. Recognize just how beautiful and amazing you truly are. One in a million, and if he doesn’t want to meet back up with you, his loss. You would think he would have the decency to say why…but he is a guy and they are a different species. I’m sure a better one will some along, you were probably too good for him anyway. : )

Reply August 22, 2013, 5:40 pm

Izzy

So there’s a guy and he started talking to me towards the end of the year. He started talking to me but I’m afraid he thinks of me as a friend. I texted him and asked if he wanted to be a part of my quinceanera. He texted back saying that he was sorry but he felt he would embarrass me and that he can’t dance but he said that he didn’t want me to forget him and he would still like to be there to celebrate with me. A few days later I thought I’d text him. So I did a but he never responded. I’m a little confused…

Reply July 30, 2013, 5:22 pm

katy

I have to say Eric, I really wish you would just go ahead and write a book! Would buy that in a heart beat!

Reply July 28, 2013, 9:45 pm

lily

So there is this guy, we started texting for a while and he was so sweet.he put my name in his contacts as “babe* he kept on saying ilove you, but then he said i think of you as a sister! And then he kept on flirting with me in a physical way , lile holding my hand hugging me tight , he whispered i love in my ear.. And then he said as a sister! And he kept on flirting alot.. Then he stopped texting me at all.. And ignored me for a couple of times when i saw him and he always leaves early and i dont get to talk to him alot.. And i really have a crush on him.. What should i do please help:( please..

Reply July 10, 2013, 6:45 pm

Sapphyreopal5

I hate to break it to you Lily but this guy is playing you. His behavior is rather cruel and he is not into you. If he really liked you, he wouldn’t ignore you, find reasons to leave early, etc.; in fact, he’d be doing the exact opposite. He’d be looking for reasons to talk to you, hang around you longer, etc. The fact he telling you “loves you as a sister” is his way of letting you know he does not have romantic interest in you but is sending mixed signals with his hugs and holding your hands.

This is someone you should move on from big time. I don’t want you to get played, so please for your sake forget about this guy.

Reply July 27, 2013, 8:31 pm

misty

hi, I’ve known my current bf for a year and a half and we’ve just celebrated our one year anniversary. I am moving away for four years to somewhere that is an hour and ahalf flight from him. Weve been having confusion regarding what will happen in the future with respect to our relationship. Leading up to me leaving he has expressed that he’s had dreams of me cheating while I’m away etc. A month later while we had drank a bit after a romantic dinner he had told me that he is curious about other woman , wants to experience other ppl & misses the chase…I was shocked all the while he was telling me this, he wouldn’t look me in the eye. I tried to leave but he insisted on trying to make things better & talk. Eventually I talked to other men feeling rejected and he found out & became very emotional. We made up but I eventually began ignoring him. He flew in from a work trip to talk- I tried to break up with him several times but he insisted he did not mean what he said & that he realized he would never want that-Is he telling the truth? Did he really mean what he said about experiencing other ppl? Or did he say it out of fear and confusion over our long distance relationship to come?
Note: what he said was extremely out of character-throughout our year together he’s very loving & respectful

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! I need to know wether to let this go & believe or know that it is bull

Reply July 3, 2013, 12:24 pm

Sapphyreopal5

I don’t know all the details to your relationship or how things were before you moved. With what you said here, it does seem like he was feeling this way because of being confused and upset about your moving away so far away (not sure why you’re moving [school?]). Long distance relationships are pretty difficult to maintain for a multitude of reasons, one of the most difficult ones being that well you just can’t be near each other as much as you’d like. Can’t touch, hold, kiss, etc. each other and it can be rather painful and difficult.

To me personally it sounds like he is afraid of you leaving. I personally dated a guy for 2 and a half years only for him and I to discover I am moving to an entirely different state 650 miles away (am a college student currently living with my parents and felt it was best for my future to go with them for those reasons and more).

It destroyed our relationship the last few months we were together because both of us were very upset about my moving. He felt very betrayed and was thus very angry at me for “leaving” him. May be your guy is feeling the same way deep down, like you are “leaving” him behind and are “moving on” because of being so far away in the future. A lot of people wouldn’t want to know when their connection with life or with others is going to end. When people are given ultimatums like that, it really can wreck havoc on relationships (and people in this situation get fearful, hurt, highly insecure, etc.).

As the sad story goes, he ended up actually cheating on me a few days before I moved for me to have this fact discovered months later, some of the reasons including that he had serious abandonment issues and has severe fears of being alone. My point is that situations like this can really pluck away at people’s heart strings and that very well could be the case with your guy (being afraid of you ultimately leaving). I mean he DID fly out there to go see you after all; you can’t just not take that into account, you know?

Those are just my personal thoughts and something I can greatly relate with you on. I hope my post helps you out at least somewhat

Reply July 27, 2013, 8:19 pm

Sapphyreopal5

My point is, it sounds like he cares for you and said that out of fears of abandonment and well you leaving. I mean he might have curiosity about experiencing others and whatnot (by the way, are you his “first love”? This could have something to do with it too) but to tell you the truth, I think he cares a lot more about being with you than experiencing others.

I hope this helps you out and that my word of advice is not too late! Good luck with everything and hope everything turns out for the better no matter which route you take.

Reply July 27, 2013, 8:24 pm

angie

Mixed signals!
One of the boys at school started talking to me early this year.in fact,he started texting quite a bit and stuff and even walked me home from camp.i’d even heard from some people that he apparently liked me for a while but then again that could be a joke.At one point,even his brother started teasing us -,- .this guys not exactly much of an extrovert.Infact he barely talks to girls and mostly sticks around with his guy friends and plays bball.Suddenly, a week or so ago,he stopped texting me.These days,it’s just the customary “hi”or a few awkward glances.he never initiates a conversation and it’s kinda leaving me confused.i mean does he like me or NOT?!

Reply June 27, 2013, 5:55 am

Sapphyreopal5

It sounds like he does like you but is afraid to say it or act on it. Is it possible that may be the reason he doesn’t initiate conversation is because he is afraid he might be bothering you or possibly just doesn’t want to be rejected? He could’ve stopped talking to you because he doesn’t think things are going anywhere (like you aren’t getting his way of saying he likes you). I think you should say something like “why haven’t you been talking to me as much this past week?”

It’s unfair to expect him to make all the first moves, let alone to expect all guys to always make the first move. That can be very intimidating for many people (not exclusive to women either).

Reply July 27, 2013, 8:44 pm

zayaa

I am kinda having a liking for this guy because of how he treats me.

I am really confused.

There was this time when he knew that I was in a certain place and he texted me that he just arrived there. I told him(by text) where exactly where I was. And he told me that he didn’t know the place. I was waiting for his reply. It took so many minutes when I received his three texts that read “I don’t know where that is.”, “Oh wait. I know where you are.”, and “I’ll go there.”
I asked him where he was but we couldn’t seem to find each other. We were texting and texting what color was I wearing where he was. Until I saw him and called his name. He smiled. And I asked him if he wanted to come with me he said “No it’s okay.” And when we were a stone throw away he texted me “I didn’t come with you coz I’m kinda shy around your friends.”

There was also this time when we passed each other. I was walking on the catwalk when I saw him. I saw him first so I was just looking at him as we walk closer to each other. And then he saw me and he smiled and said something I didn’t understand ‘coz people were noisy. But I smiled back.

Also there was this time when we were coincidentally in the same place. I was standing behind him. So I called his name and he said “Oh! It’s you!”(His tone was really different) and after that sentence there was a really awkward silence. We were just staring at each other while he was smiling so I smiled too. I didn’t know what to do so I just said “Hi.” and walked away ‘coz his friends were at his back.
And after that he texted me immediately “I was out of words because I was stunned to see you there. Haha.”

(P.S. The tone of his voice was so diff. I was really expecting him to tease me. Because he does. But this time he’s serious. I’ve never seen him like this.)

I asked a guy a bout this and he said “Can’t you see that he likes you?! It’s obvious! The effort he made just to see you! And next time if you’re both in the same places at once, make sure you’re alone. Because he wants to spend time with you.”

But seriously. I don’t want to really start liking him if he doesn’t like me back. Answer me? :)

Reply June 21, 2013, 5:19 am

zayaa

Well, there’s this guy I am kinda having a slight liking to because of how he treats me.

When he knew we were in the same place, he asked me where I was and I told him he said “I’ll go there.”. And when we saw each other I asked him to come with me(while I’m with my friends), he didn’t come he just smiled and said “No, it’s okay”. And when we(me and my friends) were slightly far already, he texted me “I didn’t come coz I’m kinda shy towards your friends.” I asked a guy about this and he told me “He obviously wants to spend time with you alone. And next time, when he asks you or tell you that he’ll come to you. Maje sure you’re alone. Ok?”

And there was this time that we ran into each other I saw him first (so I was looking at him while he’s coming towards me) and when he sees me he smiled and said something I didn’t really understand but I smiled back.

And also, when I saw him and he was just 2 feet away from me (but he didn’t see me yet coz he was looking in front and I was at his back) I was surprised to see him there. So I called his name and he looked shocked and said “Oh it’s you!” and smiles. There was a really awkward silence there. We were just standing there looking at each other. And I just said “Hii!” and walked away(coz his friends were behind him and I was to shy). After that he texted me that he was out of words when he saw me coz he was stunned at my pressence.

(P.S. I was expecting him to tease me coz he usually does. But this time he’s serious. The tone of his voice isn’t the way it used to be. He was serious when he said “Oh it’s you! :)”. That’s why I was also out of words coz he was really silent while we looked at each other. Never expected that to happen.)

I asked about this to another guy and he said that “Can’t you see? The effort he did just to see you! He likes you and I’m saying this because of “guy intuition”.”

But I don’t really know. I’m confused and I don’t want to like him is he’s not gonna like me back. So answer me? :)

Reply June 20, 2013, 9:39 am

Destany

If your guy friends are saying, “yes, it’s obvious he likes you,” then you clearly need to take their word for it. I really don’t understand why you’re so confused about this guy. From a girl’s perspective, I can tell he likes you as well. Go for it!

Reply September 8, 2013, 8:00 pm

Madaleine

Well this just ruined all my hopes. Now I know for sure that the person I love so much really doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings. That’s really depressing…all my hopes have been officially crushed…

Reply June 5, 2013, 7:57 pm

Astrid

Do not assume Anything, this goes for anything in life.

Reply June 7, 2013, 4:38 pm

Ku

So I met this guy on Facebook and we were talking for about a month and then we started texting and we have been texting every day for 6 months. I really like him but there’s a problem he has a girlfriend of 7 months. Every time I would be like ooh how is your relationship and he would be like ooh it’s okay. Or he’ll be like ooh she always gets mad for everything and she wants to be with me 24/7 and he’s like come on I need my space but I told him that’s your girlfriend your supposed to spend time with her and he said no so I changed the subject I have asked him if he dad had any feelings for me and one time he said he liked me in a way but the last time I asked him he said not yet. I am super confused & idk what to do my friends say I’m just goanna end up hurting myself & I know but I like him a lot

Reply May 31, 2013, 2:54 am

Mya

I told a guy I liked him and he said that he doesn’t feel the same way. I apologised and he saidhe was sorry too. I said if he felt awkward then just tell me. He said its aawkward but it’s okay. Then I said don’t worry I think it will fade away. He didn’t replyme for two days then he ssuddenly pops up and says sorry I took so long to reply. Now he takes hours to reply one text but when I give him one word replies he still continues the conversation. Does he feel bad for me or smth? I’m just really confused if he doesn’t want to talk then he just doesn’t have to.

Reply May 30, 2013, 1:02 am

Chica-Advisr

Maybe he likes you as a person and wants you to stay in his life as a friend, but doesn’t like-like you. It’s pretty simple, really. If you think of yourself with someone who said “I really like you in that way” and then you said “sorry I don’t feel the same” but you think they’re funny/smart/nice otherwise in general, you’d just take a short break, let the awkwardness blow over, and then (try to) continue the friendship right?

Reply July 10, 2013, 6:20 pm

emva

I can relate to 9, doesn’t say I love you blah blah blah, aka i know you won’t react well to it….

thing is I calmly broke things off because I told him he’s not very affectionate….a week later he’s begging for me back….telling me it’s me that he wants etc….so what the hell does THAT mean.

Because if he didn’t like me wouldn’t me leaving him be perfect for him to leave and never look back?

Reply May 10, 2013, 3:58 pm

lisa

i have the same problem with my current boyfriend. he’s not as affectionate as i was expecting/hoping him to be. friends tell me i’m supposed to teach him by being patient and by telling him what i want. but i want him to just be affectionate and sweet and caring all the time naturally. i mean, come on. my ex was like that. he used to take care of me and cater to me. that’s my type of guy. so i always break up with my boyfriend because he’s not good enough for me. but he always begs for me to take him back. so it’s like a cycle. i really want to end this. right now i’m blocking his texts… so that i wouldn’t need to communicate or hear whatever he has to tell me……..

it all just sucks. the worst thing is, i might be pregnant. shit!

Reply May 19, 2013, 7:01 pm

Theresa

I have been a relationship with a very nice man for two years this June. We met on play station home of all places through his daughter. We have gone slow learning about each other not rushing things. He and I both feel that we’ve known each others for years. I’ve been having doubts about where we stand with each other since we haven’t spent time together on home so to speak. He says nothing has changed, still feels the same even though we are not spending time on home. He says he’s bored of home. So now he’s always on a Xbox game forezamotorsport, we’ve played. But I get bored of the game. I’ve asked point blank does he want to be together and he says yes. Bottom line I’m more social than he is and because he is not a talker it’s hard to tell what is going on. I think part of it is that he is comfortable and taking things for granted to a point. Just so you know we have met, and will be meeting again we get on great. I’m just concerned. I hear what you say about men and the way they are wired and agree wholeheartedly. He displayed his love by being with me through the game, giving me things. We say we love each other ll the time. Long distance is hard to say the least. He has already asked me
To be with him so it is a matter of timing when it happens, just there are times when I have doubts and I don’t think he gets it because men don’t think as women do.

Reply April 24, 2013, 11:43 pm

Ashley

Okay so I have know this guy for two years and we have a connection. I was not meaning to fall in love, but I am also very attracted to him. He lives in Va and is in the army. I live in Nc. Once a year I go up there and we see each other. Neither of us currently are looking to settle down by any means. I know he like me a lot, and I am confident enough in my self to realize if he feel the exact same way as I do, we will be together for love always finds a way. I got a little nervouse when I saw him last but in a cute way. I was very pretty that night, but at one point I had that thing happen in back of my through making it hard at one point for my words to come out. We held hands on the way to his house and made out….yes while he was driving, hot I know right! As he brought me home hand in hand, my palm began to sweat and he noticed…and im not the sweating type. I told him to text me anytime or i will just text next time im back in va. I might be over thinking this but would it be wrong to text him first? I get butterflies from this guy! Help me out gals!

Reply April 16, 2013, 9:04 am

Hello:)

the tone thing got me… he does the same thing with other girls U_U :'(

Reply April 6, 2013, 8:59 pm

Kiyana

So me and this guy liked each other forever until I moved then it got fuzzy and then I wasn’t allowed to date and now I am so we start texting him and we were just having the time of our life getting to know each other again I was so happy but my friend gets a hold of my phone and asked him if he still he still had feelings for me and he text back no not really and so u know I was crushed and I told him I did not ask that and he said it was okay and we don’t text as much any more he doesn’t talk to me the same as before and then months after I saw him at an important event and I saw and acted like I didn’t but then he came Nd sat next to me and my family we joked Little and then he left and I didn’t speak to him the rest of the night but we kept running into each other but any ways I think he doesn’t like me as much as we liked each other before what should I do.

Reply April 6, 2013, 5:25 pm

ann

I met this guy shortly after almost gettn married and still living @ my ex’s apartment; I liked him and he sorta startd asking for my number and wanting to be close I opened up n told him I needed a litl more time cos I wasn’t ready to be close @ dt time . He rememberd my birthday n got me a huge cake which gt me so emotional all so I told hm I didn’t wanna lead him on n I was sorry bt m just so scared of being close to any guy at the moment, he stopped calling n chatting wt me as often as before then . 2months later, I feel sorta better then he startd pestering bout us dating again so I agreed then I notice he only wants to visit @ night and he smokes pot . Talked to him bout stopping that but he doesn’t listen and once he tried smoking it when I came visiting. Lately, he doesn’t call for like 3 days in a row,doesn’t initiate chats even when I know he’s online, I ignored him for 2 days n he suddenly startd calling n acting good but the moment I startd chatting with him as usual he’s gone back to his no calls and no chats.don’t know what to do cos I don’t wanna be too impulsive and end the relationship but all of this just gets to me and I don’t know if am risking my emotions and should have waited a longer while before getting in a relationship. What do I do?

Reply March 30, 2013, 2:19 am

Iris

I believe you can do better than this guy. He is obviously now using you. Trust me I am speaking from experience. If a person truly cares for someone they wouldn’t be doing what he is doing to you. Forget about him and find somebody else.

Reply March 30, 2013, 12:32 pm

Chica-Advisr

I agree with Iris x 1000

Reply July 10, 2013, 6:42 pm

Brittany

Well i have been talking to this guy for a month now, im really starting to like him & we talk everyday but i use to make all the effort till i stopped then he did but lately he hasnt been keeping conversations going. Also when i would try planning to hang out he cant or doesnt seem to try. I mean i understand he is busy but still. So what should i do?

Reply March 25, 2013, 7:34 pm

Niki

Hi…what sighns You have written here are True… I am going through this in my life now. My ex keeps on talking about He having relationship with other girl and I know that very well that he is not interested in me or not into me. I m very hurt… I know he dosent want to be with me , He wants to give those things to the other girl. I have cried a lot … and i always wanted him to come back to me but i have realised its all about priorities and I am not at all his priority. After joining New Mode , I have realised many psycological things which are applicable and True. Well i have learned a lot from all This.
Anyways its high time for me to be an option in my ex’s life , when i know that he wants to be with some other girl and he dosen’t want me in his life. I have decided to walk out of his life…

Reply March 8, 2013, 1:49 am

RI

Hey all. My story is probably the opposite of this. I broke up with my boyfriend just almost a week ago (we were on and off) but it feels like this is final. I just have a feeling that he still loves me. But how do i know that when he hasn’t called me or ask how I’m doing? Has he stopped loving? We broke up because we both said something bad to each other so it was mutual.

Reply March 7, 2013, 3:31 pm

Mery

and what if the guy seems really comfortable with ALL the other girls around him? I mean, he touches and hugs them casually with no problem, he compliments them a lot, he’s kind and he like all of their pictures on Facebook?
And with you, you only, he teases you instead of making a compliment, he seems really troubled whether to touch you or not, he tells you in a straight way to avoid staying too close to him when you are alone, but at the same time he keeps on staring at you and watching every move you make and listening and remembering everything you say, he’s really hard to make you a compliment and never likes any picture of you on Facebook?
Does he like the whole girl world, except you?

Reply February 26, 2013, 8:01 pm

Lisi

It sounds like he likes you more than the rest of the world :)

Reply March 13, 2013, 12:17 pm

Romii

i have a crush on this cool guy who studies with me but the problem is that he’s always alone and never talks to anyone he doesn’t have friends in our college so i added him on facebook and we chatted twice he was nice a bit quiet and mysterious as usual , he said it’s just his nature being not talkative and he doesn’t mind people talking to him he’s not complicated , i also saw some of his pics on facebook with a lot of his friends having so much fun and mostly they are girls so he’s not a loner or anything he just doesn’t have friends in our college and i’m not sure he’s interested in making new ones he rushes out whenever he’s done in order to meet his buds and doesn’t hang much around there , so what should i do? how should i talk to him and get him to talk to me? cause i really like him and knowing that he still doesn’t know me in reality should i reveal myself out of the blue or wait for him to ask me to introduce myself?? please guys i need your answers real soon and thanks

Reply February 7, 2013, 5:47 am

Serena

I really need help. A couple of weeks ago a boy just talked to me at facebook. I didn’t really know him, but he was once at the same party like a half year ago. So he asked my number and we texted a lot, he’s was always texting me first and I actually found him annoying. A week later we got our first date, he asked me. It was fun, I was shy and we didn’t talk like much. We sheared a kiss at the end of the night. For 2 weeks we texted each other all the time and he asked me to go on a second date, so I said yes. It was fun and we kissed again & he walked me home. But after that date I got confused. He didn’t text me anymore, I always had to start a conversation, so I asked him; what do we have together? And he said, I want to try, but only if you want too. I just wanted to know where I was with him, if we’re a thing or I could still meet other guys.

But after that nothing changed, if I didn’t text him first we don’t talk with each for days. And if we’re in a conversation, he just stops texting me for 3 days. So I had nothing to lose and asked him if he liked me & he said yes I like you. But he’s still not showing it & I’m getting really tired and don’t text him anymore till he text me first. I don’t know what to do, he says he likes me, but he’s not putting effort in it.

Also, I’m very insecure about myself & he’s making that worse.

Sorry for my English! We’re both 16 btw.
I have always been marture for my age, and he’s not, and it’s really annoying.
My friends tell me I should stop with him, and I agree with them. Only I can’t. I don’t want to like him, but I do.

Reply January 13, 2013, 6:08 pm

vanisha

hey! why don’t you ask a guy friend of yours to act as your romantic interest? maybe that will get your guy to notice you! let him burn a bit, and hopefully he’ll realise :)

Reply February 3, 2013, 12:55 pm

Cassie

My problem is that I went out with this guy when I was younger (6 years ago) and now we are chatting and flirting again, He approached me by asking me about a cutesy nickname he had for me when we dated the first time and spoke about different things we had done together (days out etc.) He calls me babe and he arranges to meet (general, not specific) but I saw him when I went out with friends and he was quiet the next day (texting.) and he didn’t say hello to me that night when both sets of friends were there but he checked on me a few times during the night and asked me how I was etc. . When we talk he is sweet, looks at me and appears to be listening and all of his texts have kisses, but I don’t know if they mean anything. Also he is on holiday right now but we had a brief chat a couple of days ago and he seemed aloof, still polite but not as interested, if that makes sense?

I guess I’m asking, does he like me or should I give up? Because I am confused as to why he approached me how he did if all he wanted was a friendship, why bring up happy past memories of when we were together, for no reason?
I’m so confused!

Reply December 29, 2012, 5:48 am

nura

Hi all,
I need som advice/guidance (don’t we all!)
This is my situation; I knew this guy from the age of 15. He and I were friends, always have been. Fast forward to age 23; he likes me, I told him I like him too. Anyway we quickly become boyfriend/girlfriend, and we have sex (yes I lost my virginity to him). The problem is tthis guy is horrible. Not in the sense that he’s mean, he just never says or does anything nice. What I don’t understand is I’m way out of his league, and I’m not saying that because I’m delusional/cocky its actually the case; I’ve been told I’m very attractivee I graduated from one of the top universities in London, I work as a consultant, I’m very respectfule, etc. He just does not appreciate me. I’m convinced he’s using me for sex? He never makes time for me, claiming he’s busy but he will go out with his friends. And they last 3 times we met we had sex IN THE CAR. Gosh I’m disgusting. I want to punch his face . How do I get away from him? Honestly his dismissive ways are so attractive to me.

Reply December 19, 2012, 7:30 pm

Sabrina Alexis

I’m gonna be straight with you. People in general value that which they have to work for. That which is readily available isn’t nearly as special. You can be a supermodel, but if you act needy or are always available to a guy no matter how badly he treats you, he’ll continue treating you badly and won’t start appreciating you despite the fact that you’re way out of his league.

By sticking around, you’re telling this guy that you’ll put up with bad behavior…..so you’re getting more bad behavior. You’re letting him see you when he wants and call all the shots in the relationship. The only way he’ll start appreciating you is if you stop condoning his behavior and take action. If he acts like a jerk, then don’t hang out with him or answer his calls for a few days. If he doesn’t make time for you, don’t make time for you. This relationship is running on his time-table, it seems like you’ll show up when he decides he wants to see you. That’s completely unbalanced and unfair. Take back control and make yourself available to him only when you want to, not when it’s convenient for him.

Reply December 20, 2012, 1:21 am

Teddy

Nura,

Not sure how I stumble across this site but one of my favorite quotes goes ‘Never allow someone to be your priority, while allowing yourself to be their option.’ He’s really not that into you. With that being said you deserve someone that treats you with respect.

On a completely unrelated note I’ll be travelling Europe for awhile starting next month and if you need a good looking guy to treat you with respect from the States, you let me know!

Reply January 29, 2013, 10:54 pm

HoneyBee

Okay, so here is my question: met a guy in June, he hung out for a while. it was just about sex, i set it up that way. it was easier than getting emotionally involved. however, the more we hung out i got to know him and i started to like him for more than just sex. i tried to tell him but whenever i openned my mouth crap just came out and it didn’t even make sence. i decided that we needed to chill on the sex. we still kept in touch, he hung out a few times but nothing physical. recently we have been with mutual friends a lot and im seeing what i originally liked about him. okay, here’s the issue: when i met 2 of his friends they both said oh so you’re **, your name has come up in conversation, he talks about you no worries it a good thing… and another one said “he reminds me of myself, just give him some time”… he flirts with me and when i ask him about another girl, he quickly says they are friends, he knows her BF, been friends for a while, etc. He doesn’t always return text, but he does most of the time. is he interested?

Reply December 18, 2012, 11:29 am

Yukina

Ok, well…where to start? I’ve had a huge crush on this guy for 2 years. Last year in one of my classes, I only had him for that one class, it really made me happy! ^.^ He sat behind me in class,but I was WAY too shy to ever talk to him. I tried to work up the courage, but i only talked to him a few times. I turn red, thats why. And my friend smiled at me when he walked through the door knowing yay he’s in my class! Sadly…before winter break of 2011, two of my friends told him that they had a friend who liked him, and dude it got him alllll curious and he wouldn’t stop asking who it was!!! Then suddenly over winter break, they gave him my number and he TEXTED me asking who was I, and with friendly texts and smiley faces. I was kind of shocked and happy at the same time. At one point, I couldn’t take it anymore and I told him and he texted, “oh” and im like “I;m sorry” and he’s likes ” for what?” And I’m like for probably making you feel akward” and he’s like ” it’s cool.” then after winter break, omg my heart was freaking racing!!! xD when i walked into class he had his head down lol. after like 2 days I HAD to talk to him and i did work up the courage to do so, I turned around and said, hey. But he had his head down and I kind of took a deep breath and tried again lol. so i poked him and im like hey,can I ask you something..? and he’s like yeah? And im like about what happened over winter break, i just wanted to know if your not akward about it? and he’s like no its’ ok. And i’m ok, then im like so it’s cool between us.” and he’s like yeah. then i offered to shake hands, which we did lol. the after that i just felt like smiling lol, cuz i was like yay i did it :)!! and that’s not the end of it, my friends have been telling me that he’s talked about me with his friends in class sometimes last year after that. Then my silly friend asked him would he ever go out with me!! And he responded, “hmm…i don’t know, yeah i would.” I was like OMG!! Then idk, along the way i was still so ever shy to talk to him, then on valentines day, my friend gave me a silly idea to give him something , this cupcake, And i decided to do it, cuz i kinda did wanted to give the guy i like something for V-day. So after class i did, i was like hey! He turned around and i was like I kinda wanted to give you something, i was acting all shy and i looked down…lol and he’s like oh yeah? and i handed him the cupcake, i was like happy valentines day and smiled. then i suddenly noticed his friend was watching next to him. lmao! And he took it and smiled saying thank you, and he walked away smiling, i felt SO good after that, i was hoping he’d talk to me the next day, but no…then so on and so, no talking has ever happened between since….on the last day i tried to talk to him, but he said he had something to do, and i was like next time? and he’s like sure. but that next time never came, suddenly today he never tried saying anything and he’s been sort of avoiding me..i can feel it like yesterday when he saw me during lunch, he went the other way with his friends and walked away. I felt kind of hurt, I mean he’s never ever told me if he would be interested in me, or not. :/ I mean i can take it after all, and i can finally move on, but he hasn’t! In school, everyone looks at me as the very cute and super friendly sigh..innocent looking one. my friends r like saying he’s retarded sometimes and mostly is, i have to admit he can BE VERY stupid sometimes, but i’ve seen passed that in him, which makes me love him. honestly. But now…i don’t know what to do…plz help?

Reply November 7, 2012, 11:28 pm

Lyanne

If he is avoiding you, stop chasing him.. And I know it’s hard but if he was interested in you he would’ve done something ‘cuz you did the first move. My advice would be just to stop showing him you like him, stop looking at him and see if he starts talking to you.. And if he doesn’t then don’t put any effort trying to make him like you. If you’re in class or in the same place just act happy don’t look at him.. Ask your friends to keep an eye on him just in case he does look at you.. But if he really doesn’t do anything.. Move on and I know it’s hard but you’ll get hurt chasing him..
I hope this helped you and sorry for any mistakes but my English is not so good :p

Reply November 14, 2012, 11:59 am

Laura K

I know a guy in my class. I’m not sure if he likes me or just as a ‘friend’. What are the signs that you’re not in the friend-zone?

Reply November 3, 2012, 11:10 am

Lyanne

So there’s this guy I like but I’m not sure if he likes me too…
I don’t know why but I think there is a chance he might like me…
sometimes he is shy, but he talks with cute girls and doesn’t talk to me, he sometime looks at me and walks slow when I’m walking behind him…
I’m really confused because he talks with a lot of girls but as soon as he’s sitting next to me he gets uncomfortable…
(sorry for my English)

Reply October 27, 2012, 5:08 pm

Ely

I just broke up with someone very dear to me and the reason I did it was because things were not the same anymore he became very abusive with his comments. Every time I would tell him how he made me feel with a comment that was funny to him, he would call me dramatic. The last conversation we had he got mad because I said I had giving half of my life to helping him and being there for him and he still dare say I wasn’t committed enough to help him succeed. He got upset and as usual he ignore all my messages. Even those I sent apologizing for something I don’t have fault in. So, I sent on last message saying that I love him but I will not denigrate myself to beg for his attention and that to not further annoy him I will not be talking to him unless he message me or if he needs my help. I said I love him and I really do, but God knows I did all I could and beyond for us to work out, for him to simply stop talking to me. I guess my question is did i do the right thing? I really miss him and I love him, but he hasn’t even text me since this.

Reply October 20, 2012, 6:41 pm

Angela

It sounds like he was manipulating you. He was using your kindness to emotionally drain you. You did the right thing and you honestly deserve better someone who will treat you with respect with words and actions. Be strong in your decision because in the long run you’ll see that it was worth it. I honestly think that since this damage has happened to you, I don’t know how your confidence is but you should take this time to work on yourself and find out or do the things that makes you happy. Remember “alone” isn’t a bad thing and no one else can make you happy but yourself. I hope I’ve helped. Much love to you. <3

Reply October 21, 2012, 1:10 am

Ely

Thank You Angela it really did help :) Blessings!

Reply October 21, 2012, 4:11 am

anna

ok,so theres this guy,we talk to eachother all the tlme.allways tries to make me laugh,teases me alot.always stares at me,always says sexual things to me,always seems to be following me,always getting in to my convos, but,he talks about girs infront of me all the time.i dont think hes trying to make me jealous.plus when people ask him does he like me he says something like hell no or she ugly as f**k.(gy the way i want him to stop talking about his dick it is annoying)

Reply October 19, 2012, 11:10 pm

kimberly

girl try tasking to him about how you feel and how its getting annoying and if he doesn’t listen or walks away when you mention the topic just completely stop talking to him.

Reply October 26, 2012, 10:38 am

lulu

So there is this guy, we started texting for a while and he was so sweet.he put my name in his contacts as “babe* he kept on saying ilove you, but then he said i think of you as a sister! And then he kept on flirting with me in a physical way , lile holding my hand hugging me tight , he whispered i love in my ear.. And then he said as a sister! And he kept on flirting alot.. Then he stopped texting me at all.. And ignored me for a couple of times when i saw him and he always leaves early and i dont get to talk to him alot.. And i really have a crush on him.. What should i do please help:( please..

Reply October 7, 2012, 10:42 pm

Jamie Wood

Hey. So there’s this guy that I’ve been friends with for about a year and I really like him. Idk if he knows, Im pretty sure he likes being around me but only as a friend. Lately, he and I have been staying up late texting and that has been really awesome cuz he’s really funny and sweet, and I know he loves me as a person but not in a romantic way. I’m not going to act any different, Im just gonna stay the way I am and see what happens. Because I think he sees potential in me. And if I just gave this some time, I bet he will start to have feelings for me. <3

Reply September 28, 2012, 7:38 am

Ashley

There is this guy I really really like and we hung out with eachother for the 3rd time. We kissed and cuddled. I was actually kinda surprised cause we did that the 2nd time we met and during the summer, it felt like he wasn’t interested in me cause he didn’t talked to me as much and if he did it was short. And now he’s making me feel like that again. I told him I really really liked him and he said” I like you too you’re tons of fun to be around.” But last week I said I wish we could hang out more often and all he said was “me too always fun.” Like I wish he would ask me to hang out and ask me to be his gf. I feel like I’m just being paraniod a lot but at the same time I feel like the only time he wants to see me is when he’s alone. I feel like I’m being used… I thought he really cared about me. Maybe he does and is afraid of sayin anything or taking things to the next level. I haven’t told him how I felt abou it cause I’m scared.. Idk what to do. I start cryin randomly when I think of him or see fb posts when he’s hanging out with a girl.

Reply September 26, 2012, 10:10 pm

Maria Sanchez

So there’s this guy that i really like ,, He stares at me all the time across the classroom , we have another class together and i sit behind him , and he turns and talks to me and stares at me. idk if he likes me though he asked me for my number i gave it to him , he txted me that same day and he walks me halfway to my bus , hugs me really hard when we have to go. and one day he huged me we almost kissed,, as soon as i got on the bus he txt me saying that i should of kissed him , he calls me boo , bae , babe , when we are not in a relationship… he asked me bae send me a sexy picture please i told him no i aint like that txt some other girl that does that stuff he said no that hes good that he was testing me and thats good im not like that because he doesnt want a girl like that sending dirty pics , please helppppp meee please ,, does this mean he likes me :(

Reply September 16, 2012, 7:39 pm

( that it girl )

~* why do i always gotta get hurt *~

Reply September 9, 2012, 2:48 am

Ely

Because you are looking in the wrong place. You gotta make sure you know what you want from a relationship and stick with your standards. Figure out who you are, love your self and find out what you want. Then with that in your heart set out, but don’t get desperate because being desperate make us always loose sight of our morals and values. Let your smile and your past experiences be the mirror you use to not get hurt again, but also let go of the past forgive but don’t forget. Every relationship has teach you something valuable. :)

Reply October 20, 2012, 6:28 pm

deja

Hi there,
i am in a relationship and its very complicated. i just dont understand why
he dont show that he loves me but he tells me that he love me. i dont know what to believe because does anyone on here knows what kind of soccer pratice ends at 12:00pm cuz if yall do pleaz let me know. but he hangs around my bestfriend more than he hang around me and now my bestfriend is starting not to care about me anymore. i sit and stay up all night and cry over him and ask myself is he cheating and lieing. so does he love me or is he just saying that 4 letter word to me just to say it.

Reply September 9, 2012, 2:44 am

Mahima

Well i chat with this guy who is my cousin’s cousin. We dont meet often, we last met about 3 months ago. Since then we chat on whatsapp, he tells me about his flings, his girlfriends. he tells me things that no one knows, not even his best friends. he sends me ‘:*’. i tell him my problems and all. and he sends me kisses ‘ :* ‘ , like in every sentence. what does that mean ? is he flirting? or he actually likes me? please hellpp :)

Reply September 2, 2012, 3:32 am

deja

he is showing that he loves you very much and that he wants to be with you so show it back because i am in a very crazy relationship i really love this boy and i dont know if he really loves me he say he does but how do i know if its true…HELP PLEASE !

Reply September 9, 2012, 2:19 am

kimberly

he is showing that he loves you because he has lots of trust in you if he actually tells you things that no one else knows about you.show him that you love him too and show that you care about him and maybe he will end up asking you to be his girlfriend.

Reply October 26, 2012, 10:44 am

bonnie

Theres this guy i really like, he’s in a different class than me so it’s really hard to hang out. We only talk and hang out a bit but he always keeps wanting to play basketball with his friends so i always have to sit and watch him play allll~ lunch!
Its really hard to tell if he even wants to be my friend because when we talk, he can’t really understand me that well (because he’s from a different country so he can’t speak english very well) It’s so hard to communicate and he doesn’t so me much signs that he’s interested in me.
He tells me i’m beautiful and when I asked him to be friends, he was really happy but after we hanged out abit he’s been acting really weird. Like he ignores me and when I say hi to him when we meet, all he does is stare at me.
just last week I got really upset with him asking him “Why do you ignore me? do you hate me?” He say’s no but when he say’s it, he doesn’t give me any eye contact. He just turns away. When he quickly left to go play basketball with his friends, I felt like he really does hate me.
I was so upset that when my friend came up to me and asked if I was okay, I bursted out crying so much say “I can’t do it, It’s just to hard”
Im pretty sure he saw me crying but all he did was play basketball.
A few minutes later he came back to sit with me but he said nothing. He just looked at me probably feeling sorry for me.
I told him I was really angry at him and that I was so confused but all he said was why I was angry. He should of known.
After I decided to leave, he waved to me smiling. Normally he never smile and wave to me when i wave and say hi to him.
stupidly i waved back giving a fake smile.
I’m so angry and upset at him!
what should i do to be friends again because i dont want to give on him.
I’m pretty sure he saw me cry but he didn’t do anything but play basketball.

Reply September 1, 2012, 5:04 am

kimberly

girl let him go he’s showing that he doesn’t care about what you are feeling because if he did he would have talked to you about why you were feeling the way you were feeling he probably just wanted to have some fun.try hanging out with other guys and see what he does .theres other guys better than him that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated don’t cry for him because he will feel like he got his way.just move on with life and have fun.

Reply October 26, 2012, 10:51 am

tina

I could use some advice when it comes to dating guys. I seem to always get the ” I don’t want to be in a relationship speech”. I will back off and just move on when I’m told this but then a couple of weeks later I’m being contacted again by the guy. I will give it another go and then again the guy backs off and stops communication once again. This has happened at least a couple of times. I am not one to constantly text, usually when I send a text message I leave it up to them to respond. I am however guilty of trying to decode mens actions and what a text message means. I try to look at my dating experiences as lessons but I seem to be attracting these men who are hot and cold with me. I am really looking to improve my dating skills as I have not dated very much. If anyone could offer up some dating advice I would really appreciate it. Thank you for listening. =-)

Reply August 23, 2012, 10:01 pm

Tamara Holoveck

I need some help with a couple I things:
1. Most ppl have 1 groups of friends well I have 3. The ppl in the first group I hang out with in class and normally at lunch and after school(not really popular), the ppl in the second group I hang out with them rarely at school and sometimes after school(popular). The third group I don’t really like (not popular).so here I am right in the middle of the groups and I don’t know what to do.
2. I hang out with groups 2 sometimes and they don’t like the ppl in group 1, but they like me.
3.i have a best friend in each group and some of the groups 2-3.
4. I don’t hang out with this one group normally but I went off grounds with them once and I was invited to 2 parties and most of them were guys.
5. At the parties everyone was dating except me and this other guys. Everyone was trying to set us up but we weren’t interested at all.
6. My best friend texted him and said “Will u go out with Tamara?”, and he said maybe if I get to know her better.
And those r my six problems I need help with. Any advice.

Reply July 16, 2012, 7:44 am

Beth Malloy

There’s this guy and he has a girlfriend but they aren’t really a couple because they ignore each other and don’t do or say anything. Well this guy makes excuses to talk to me all the time and if I don’t reply he will say something random like falalalalal. He loves to spend time with me all the time and his cousin who is his friend is also my BFF. So instead of saying hello to her, he will come right up to me and say hi and try to start a conversation with me. What do I do?

Reply July 16, 2012, 7:31 am

Maria Sanchez

I would keep talking to him b/c his relationship aint worth it if they keep ignoring eachother you know a relationship is for two and not for one like im saying he just not with her but with you ,, He’s probably interested in you and wants to talk to you more..

Reply September 16, 2012, 8:58 pm

Patch Contou

I have read on the Internet that if a guy talk to you about girls easily he doesn’t like you, but he also protects me.
So here’s the story we went out for a bit and he dumped me because someone told him 2, he was upset for a bit and I told him to move on. He talks to me about everything and everyone, but he protects me, but he says he protects all of him friends. Which is true but everyone says he protects me like no other. I don’t know y he does this and he’s really confusing me. He also said he likes this one girl and he says ily all the time to her but she doesn’t like him like that and in the past 2 months he has liked 13 girls and dated 2. He is really nice but he is confusing me and I just want to know what is happening.
P.S: we were really close friends about talking about suff and we stills but it’s just awkward now and he doesn’t like it when I ignore him or avoid eye contact. What does that mean.

Reply July 16, 2012, 7:24 am

Lisa

Ok Ive been talking to this guy for 3 months now, we have had sex 3 times, he is a security guard at my job, he initiated contact looking me up on Facebook, after we had sex he became distant always making me contact him first, I got tired of that game and started ignoring him, he knows where I live and drives by constantly and at work always drives by me when he’s driving the security truck around, he seems upset and angry with me for not talking to him anymore and is even initiating contact and trying to get with my friends to get my attention, total hot and cold here and I’m confused, he’s shy and quiet, and totally makes eye contact and follows my every movement when he sees me but ignores me now when I’ve texted him a couple times, the time we have talked I’ve grown to like him, help please.

Reply July 16, 2012, 2:55 am

brittany

so ive been talking to this guy who is older than i am for a month and a half that i met online and just last week i told him how i really felt and he told me it was sweet but that im moving to fast, and now he’s been totally distant from me and hasnt texted me or called and ive been upset because i really like the guy, so ive been the one to make an efffort to text him but he has not replied, i dont know what to do bc he doesnt live where i live and before we used to skype and stuff and now he says he busy and he told me if he did find someone he would tell me i dont know what to do? help me please!

Reply July 14, 2012, 2:22 am

Cassie

My guess is that he got panicked by the incredibly fast time in which you told him you loved him, a month and a half is pretty quick by anyone’s standards. But anyway… Don’t text or call him, make him put in the effort, if he does he really wants to get to know you he will put the effort in; if he doesn’t however you are likely being used as an online ego boost

Reply February 24, 2013, 2:57 am

EMMA

HI! ACTUALLY, I LIKE A GUY FROM LAST TWO YEARS, WE MEET EVERY SUNDAY IN THE CHURCH,HE TALKS WITH ME HE SPENDS TIME WITH ME SOMETIMES, HE ALWAYS ASKS ME ABOUT MY STUDIES, ABOUT MY DAILY WORKS AND OTHER ACTIVITIES, THE FIRST TIME WHEN I FELT THAT I LOVE HIM WAS WHEN WE SPEND FEW MINUTES ON TALKING ON SOME TOPIC,HE ALWAYS ASKS HELPS ME IN EVERY THING, WHEN EVER I HAVE ANY PROBLEM I TAKE SUGGESTIONS FROM HIM,WHEN EVER I LOOK AT HIM I SEE A STRANGE LIGHT IN HIS EYES AND HE DIRECTLY LOOKS INTO MY EYES , I REALLY LOVE HIM A LOT, HE IS HANDSOME, GOODLOOKING, SIMPLE,AND A VERY LOVING PERSON I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE, SO PLEASE HELP

Reply July 9, 2012, 7:00 am

Kim

Ok, doesn’t do any of those things but one. Am I supposed to still put him under the category of “he does not like me”?

Reply July 5, 2012, 9:01 am

alyssa

One more thing i forgot to add is he goes to a different school than me but lives near my family members house.

Reply July 3, 2012, 1:41 am

alyssa

I am a teenager and i really really like this guy and i cant tell my friends that i like him because of what happened to me b4. I told my friends who i liked years ago and they told him so i don’t know what to do. I used to be obvious when i talk to a guy i liked. But now i just hang out like we r friends he has so much prettier friends than me on face book . He is not even a year older than me just 10 months please please help me

Reply July 3, 2012, 1:35 am

Cassie

Facebook friends mean very little and quite a few people will edit their profiles to make themselves look better.
All I can recommend is that you ask him directly, you won’t know otherwise and do this by yourself… worse comes to worst there’ll be some awkwardness. But you won’t know unless you try!

Reply February 24, 2013, 3:01 am

Danae B.

So, he is my classmate, and we talk often, sometimes he is very kind and smiles when i’m around, but he also talks with other girls in the same way..he asked me out once with his friends but i wasnt able to go, and then he did again but he let it go, so we havent gone out together..he tells me about the girl he likes and i have my attitude is pleasant, he trusts me in general but these days he doesnt treat me the way he did..i guess he doesnt like me, but he keeps confusing me! i really like him and we have many many things in common..i dont know how to approach him more! anyone, any advice would be really helpful, i just wanna know how to make him see me in a different way..

Reply June 28, 2012, 12:09 pm

Cassie

I’m sorry to say this but you’ve probably been friend-zoned, he’s treating you like one of the guys

Reply February 24, 2013, 3:05 am

Tabitha

So heres my question/problem:
I’m 17 and met this guy Jeremiah at church. He went a few times and I hung with hm for a bit, but that was it. Fast forward to May 4th. Him and I are both on the wim team but we go to different schools that are like 10 miles apart. When our schools competed against eachother on May 4th, we hung out together the whole time. I kept giving hints that I wanted to pull him away from the crowd, and I finally succeeded. We made out behind a wall and no one saw. He got my number and texted me nonstop for a week and called me twice. Heres where I probably messed up: On May 14th I asked him to prom and he said he’d like to take me but his parents said no because of his grades. He seemed genuinely sorry and said that he owed me a date. Since then, i’m lucky if he texts me twice a week. He says he’s really busy with work, but i know he doesn’t work past 8 yet I hardly hear from him. On June 15th I asked him how he felt about us and he said “I’m not sure really cause it feels like your really far away”. I live like 15 min from him, yet he says it like we live in different states. Is he worth the fight? I feel that we could make this work. He told me that ‘m on standby, which by his definition means “you just have to wait”. He says he’ll take me out when he has time, but that seems like never. Should I take him on a date to a baseball game? He loves baseball, and ME taking him out is different right?
Please help me, I’m a lost teenager

Reply June 24, 2012, 5:59 am

Paige

My boyfriend drives fifty minutes to see me. And he can’t drive fifteen? He should have asked YOU to prom. A guy is NEVER too busy to make time for a girl. If he wanted to see you, HE would have suggested a time or place, not you. Guys like a chase, and he is obviously not chasing you whatsoever. If anything, you’re doing all the work. If he was into you, he would definitely jump at the chance of doing anything with you. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s his isues he needs to work out. I wouldn’t pursue it any further. If a man was into you, he wouldn’t DARE ever to tell you, “you’re on standby”. What kind of smart ass remark is that?! I suggest you stop texting him, delete his number, and show him that you’re not someone who can be put on a backburner. Find a guy would will pursue you, and find you worth it.

Reply July 25, 2012, 10:57 pm

nanthinni

i like one guy in facebook..bt he nt yt approve me also n i do poke him and he do poke me back..after that i dp poke him back..but he didn’t response.what should i do??PLZ DO RESPONSE I LIKE HIM VERY MUCH…

Reply June 22, 2012, 7:12 am

Sonali

I started talking to this guy in January. He has tried to talk to me through text before that but I avoided him and didn’t show him any feelings. We started texting each other a lot. I met him a week ago. I didn’t feel the way I did with him. Before he met me up he did mention about moving to another state where his family is. I was and still am upset. He told me more then once he likes me a lot and he doesn’t know what to do because h e wants to be together but his moving. He got a little mad when I mentioned about him just wanting one thing. He said no he didn’t just have sex but made love to me. His acting not like he was acting before. I really want to be with him and I think I don’t just like him but have fallen a bit in love with him. I want to know if he feels the way I do, like if he is starting to love me… and if that’s the reason he is trying keep a little bit of more distance from me. I am a very picky person but when he was over and when we went out he did exactly what I or any girl would want a guy to do. I also loved how he would look into my eyes and talk to me with his eyes. His eyes said a lot but don’t know if it’s true. Sigh :(

Reply June 21, 2012, 8:51 pm

Sarah

Okay so here goes…

I recently turned 17 and I stayed over my best friends house for the long weekend last week. Little did I know that her brother was there to until I went over on Friday and saw him. That was the first time of ever met him and from the start we hit it off. There was a lot of flirting going on between us and it continued on for almost two days. My best friend didn’t notice anything going on and I felt really bad because after all I’m her best friend and thats her brother. So when I was making breakfast he came into the kitchen and brushed up against me in a playful way and kept doing it. So by the second night we had realized that both him and myself had a lot in common. He is cute, nice, funny and has eyes that are to die for! All the flirting continued till Sunday night when my bestie put a romantic comedy on in the loungeroom and then said that she was goin to bed. I was really interested in the movie so I told her that I’d be in her room after it had finished. ( or at least that was the plan) so after my friend left her brother and myself in the room alone with the lights off we just started talking. We talked for like an hr and by the end of it I felt that I knew everything about him and that he knew everything about me. I started moving closer to him and I didn’t even realize it until he slid his hand under mine and started rubbing my fingers in a cute/flirty way which made me blush! He then kissed my hand which gave me butterflies because he’s not like other boys. We held hands and cuddled for a while until he suddenly kissed me. But it wasn’t an ordinary kiss it felt full of feelings and love which made me blush even worse (I was lucky the lights were off because I swear I probably look like a tomato) . Anyways we kissed and cuddled till 2am and it was so romantic and sweet the I put my head on his chest and we then made out. Now here’s where it gets confusing because I did something that I’m not entirely sure weither its good or bad but we did IT and many other things and everytime he kissed me it send shivers up my spine and I felt like I was a giant firework. After all that was finished we went and sat outside and watched the sun rise, cuddled in a blanket up next to each other. I was pretty tired by that stage and said I was going to bed so he said he’d join me. We ended up cuddling and falling asleep in each others arms and he didn’t Once let go of my hand. The next morning we just cuddled and looked into eachothers eyes until my friend woke up and then we couldn’t keep our hands of eachother. He was always putting his hands around my waiste and kissing me whenever we were in a room together. He had to leave to go back to his dads (my friends parents are divorced) and as soon as he left my friend told me that she knew what had happened because she hadn’t seen either of us that happy in ages. I admitted it to her and felt bad about it but all she could say was if you like him then that’s okay with me. I was so shocked because I’d expected her to feel betrayed and stuff but she didn’t. Not one bit. So it’s been a week now and we talk on Facebook everyday and he tells me everything and so do I. The only problem is that I can’t stop thinking about him! His laugh, smile, eyes and humor everything about him makes me blush. His sister told me that he talks about me non stop and keeps asking her when I’m sleeping over again. The hardest part is that I don’t know what he thinks of me and I’m too afraid to ask because rejection sucks!! I guess I need a bit of advice on how to ask without sounding needy. I wish I could just come out and say it but as I said before I’m a chicken when it comes to admitting my feelings. So can anyone HELP ME PLEASE!!!! :3

Reply June 21, 2012, 12:17 pm

Cassie

Write him a sweet note or wait till he’s not on line then ask him on there, if you really can’t face it

Reply February 24, 2013, 3:11 am

Kendahl

Hi Eric!

So, I’m not exactly ‘old’, because I’m in my teens and as I was reading this, of course, I was thinking about a guy that I really like. A simple crush, if you will.

This isn’t so much of a story-scenario-question, but considering the guy I do like a lot does and doesn’t do a mixture of all the things you listed, what does that mean?

For example, he was around me. It is summer, and unfortunately, I was too shy to get the boy’s number, but we ate lunch together with a few other guys and we talked a lot. He teased me, I teased him. It was a mutual teasing fiasco, but the problem is, he didn’t talk about other girls with me, yet sometimes I just felt like ‘one of the guys’ in the group so there were days when he would just talk to me very casually. He doesn’t put me down, he’s really a good guy, but I really never know if he flirts with other girls because I never see him interact with other girls because I only see him for certain parts of the day. Like you say in a lot of your article, girls try and over-analyze little details to try and convince themselves that there’s still hope that the guy likes you, but I’m trying SO hard not to do that. I guess I’m just confused?

Anyway, more or less, I felt like all we were, were just friends. He’d ask me random questions that he could have asked anybody else and there were times when I actually dressed up in a dress or something, when he’d talk to me more or seem more interested, but he’d also told me that high school relationships are so ‘stupid’. And I completely agree. Or at least, where I live. He says that they only last for a short amount of time, and if he really wanted a girl, he’d get one so I really do try and convince myself that he’s just a friend. But. . . I like to have a second opinion. And a guy’s opinion. I’m probably right or something and I sound very stupid, but I thought I’d might as well ask.

If I am right, and he just doesn’t feel the same way about me, then what’s the best way for me to get over him? I’m trying to cut out all hope of us actually working out and for some reason, for the first time, I can’t seem to do that. All my friends always think I’m not a girl, because I typically don’t like guys at all because I don’t like high school relationships, but for the first time, I seem to be stumped.

Thanks for the help!

Reply June 21, 2012, 1:10 am

Rebekah

There’s this guy I’ve been seeing on & off for almost 3 years. Recently he’s been “busy” & doesn’t return my texts, or calls. So I told him what was up, I snapped, & he hasn’t talked to me since. I texted him last night, apologizing. & no response. So, I know where I stand with him. GOTTA MOVE ON.

Reply June 7, 2012, 5:40 pm

Jordan

Yea, you can’t see guys “on and off” and expect them to respect you long term.

Reply February 24, 2013, 1:46 am

Amber

blah, this helped, but i kinda wish it wasnt true..
its so confusing with this one guy though cause he does some stuff(like hes with me almost all the time, stands suuper close to me, makes a lot of eye contact, jokes around with me) but then BAM! he tells me “that girl was cute” or “I hope a cute girl comes in today”(at work)
Its annoying! cause its like hes flirting but its all just a lie >.<
thanks though, now i know!

Reply June 7, 2012, 12:03 am

yowhatsup

Lets just put it this way i hate shy guys. period they sayy oooooooo im soooooo shy around girls and bam he talks to his crush all perfectly normal. Men are so frustrating.

Reply June 2, 2012, 10:01 pm

Emily

I’m totally crazy (I think I’m in love…) with my best friend’s twin brother. We’ve been friends for five years and I started crushing on him a year after that. He’s so nice and funny and just amazing, but I don’t know if he likes me back.
I was tired of pining after J, so I tried hanging out with my one of other guy friend who was really nice and sweet and I used to like him and my dad thought he liked me (Needless to say he wasn’t very happy about it.) but I couldn’t get my mind off of J.
Since his sister is mine and my older sister’s best friend, she and her family invited us to go to Mount Rushmore with them, and we did. When we went to the actual monument, J and I hung out the entire time, laughing and talking. My sister pointed out that we totally looked like a couple. When his parents and the other girls were looking around, he and I were completely alone and we found each other staring into each other’s eyes. I swear I thought we were going to kiss but I got nervous and ran off, which I totally regretted and practically cried about later.
He always starts up conversation with me when we’re together and recently we started texting a lot and he almost always replies even when I texted him at midnight the other night. (He was still awake on his laptop.)
I seriously think I love him. I think about him all the time and the other day when he texted me I swear I smiled as big as possible for the rest of the night and all he said was ‘Hi’.
Should I tell him I like him? A year or two ago he was going on about how these girls at his school had told him they liked him and he wasn’t interested in dating or anything.
Another thing, his dad took us and our sisters out to get ice cream and he and I were bored so we went to the car to talk. He claimed he called shotgun but when we closed the doors he moved to sit next to me. I thought of telling him how I felt but then my best friend walked to the car and got in. x(
Please help. Please please please. Everyone says I should tell him but there’s one more problem.
We’re both thirteen.
My parents act appalled at the idea of dating this young, I hinted by saying that if I liked a guy I wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship by dating and my mom scoffed and said “No, your parents wouldn’t allow you to.”
I just can’t get him off my mind, I’ve tried for two years but I gave up. Saying I’m in love sounds crazy, because I’m only thirteen and everyone I know says saying you’re in love this young is just hormones. I don’t think it is at all. I just wish I knew how I tell him without screwing up our beautiful friendship permanently.

Reply May 28, 2012, 1:14 pm

Fiona

Aw Emily, this is not ridiculous or anything at all. I just turned fourteen and this is what all the adults have been telling me. They think we’re too young to get things… even ourselves. But i dont think we are. Try teasing him a bit? Go like “hey look that girls hot!” or sth like that and see what he says 😉 this is one method i tried on a boy, though i was just joking- he kept asking me who i like (cuz everyone else are doing the same) and i just went like “YOU!”. lol he didnt believe me at first but after a really long chat… he confessed to me. LOL crazy, i know.
But I’ve got a problem too. I’m in this really weird situation right now. Well for starters.. We’ve been pretty good friends and everyone is saying that he likes me. I thought i didnt but now i realize, i really do. I think i LOVE him. i know i know, stupid. but hes just so funny and nice.. and he really gets me. He does. he knows how i feel about.. everything. But then he kinda ignores me in front of our friends when we’re out (not at school though) and online. i dont know why…
help? :)
best luck to you and that guy! 😀

Reply June 20, 2012, 10:48 am

Emily

Thanks, but now I’m rather convinced he has a crush on one of his guy friends. xP (I’ll feel awful for thinking it if he doesn’t.)
I think, just maybe, he ignores you because he doesn’t want anyone to know he likes you. Maybe he’s freaked out that they’ll make fun of him or something.
I’m not the best person at giving advice, I barely have any guy friends myself.
And yeah, I showed him a picture of this guy and claimed as a joke that he was my future husband, and J (The guy.) started saying stuff like, “Hey, I look like him.” He doesn’t. At all. And, “If my hair was lighter I would look just like him.” I really thought maybe he liked me, but then my sister pointed out that that’s how he acts all the time.
Hope you have better luck with your guy. I think you should tell him. He’d probably understand. J doesn’t, he got so freaked out when my sister made a small (Funny IMO.) joke about us being ‘together’.

Reply June 20, 2012, 11:13 am

Ariana

Okay so i like this boy named Roberto. I told my friend and she told him, only beacuse she is his bestfriend(But at the time i didn’t know) and so he told her that i seem cool and he wants to get to know me more. he also told her that he likes me and he thinks that i’m “Really pretty” sometimes my friends get him from playing basketball and make him hug me, he has no problem with it and he hugs me for a long time. but we don’t really talk, i kinda think its my fault because i get shy to talk to him. sometimes i see him staring at me but once i see him i look away… i really like him but i don’t know if he likes me still! he thinks i don’t like him! i know this because my guy friend danilo was talking to me and he said that he was talking to roberto and danlo asked him if he’d ever go out with me and roberto said “I don’t think she likes me though” so what do i do?!?! p.s my friends are 100% honest and trustworthy

Reply May 26, 2012, 4:36 pm

May

Theres this guy i like. He looks at me but not all the time. He has lots of girls hanging out with him. He never notice me. Whenever i look at him his always turned away. He already knew that i liked him because of my friends. I just dont know what to do. I want him so badly. I cry everynight just to hear his voice say “hi” to me. He never goes near me. Every night i wait for his friendrequest to be accepted i wait for him to answer back to my messages i sent him but i got nothing….

Reply May 26, 2012, 3:55 am

lory

its so difficult to have this crush. i pray to stop wantin him cause now he s trying to make me jealous with his old fat friend. i dont know if hes going out with her but once he told me he doesnt like her and she just an old friend of his. i know i m not supposed to want him but im only 27 and we stopped foolin around me and my hubby, no sex no fun no love im tired of this work work work all d time, wheere there i see this guy who breaks my heart. how can i make a spark or something to see if id fall for him? If he was another guy hed go for it. I dont think he likes me. please help cause im fallen apart. dont judge me i never cheated.

Reply May 19, 2012, 9:19 pm

lory

I m married. I dont have much comunication with my hubby but hey i never cheated on him ever. But theres this guy @ work & he so handsome and cute and beautyfull manners everything is so special in him. i see in his eyes kindness love and comfort. He told me if I wasnt married he d go out with me for sure and im not d only one who wanna be with him. I wish I would know whats goin trough his mind, today he told me he loves me cause i help him alotttt in work. i know he doesnt give a …. about me. I m imagaging being with him all d time, but not to have sex with him, theres more in him than just sex. help i dont know how i will cope with him around. i wish he never started to work with us.

Reply May 19, 2012, 9:12 pm

vvn

what if it’s long distance..? Which one of these apply..?

Reply May 18, 2012, 2:11 am

edrey

i like this guy and he is very nice to me so i guess he does like me and im not in his category so i feel bad for other people who r not loved also i think we all should give people time to meet them because if we see him or her and we like that person right away their going to think we are desperate thirsty ass people we all have enough time to get to know people all my frineds have a boyfriend or girriend and i was alone but u need to have time to actually know the person

Reply May 15, 2012, 11:15 am

lydia

The first time we met was about a month ago, our mutual friend was the one who introduced us. Few days after that, he started calling me and texted me and we met few times. And we both had a really good time. About 2 week ago, he got a job and he stop contacting me. But he replies whenever I texted him. I thought he’s busy since he just started working. One of my friends told me that he’s just backing off alittle bit, my other friend told me that he needs time to get use to his job, so I should just ignore the situation and wait until he contact me later. But I don’t know. Does it mean that he’s not that into me anymore, or he’s really busy? I don’t want to be a nuisance to him. Please reply…

Reply May 8, 2012, 2:33 pm

Taylor

Hey,
I need help I’m 14 and I’m in love with a 19 year old. He is amazing I can’t stop we both can’t fight or ever get tired of eachother it is amazing but, we are breaking the law. We want to run away but don’t know how like without getting caught by the cops I’m so screwed I need help!!!!!

Reply May 1, 2012, 5:03 pm

yowhatsup

you just posted on the internet ur in love with a 19 year old and u just said u didnt want to get caught by the cops…. HELLO THIS IS THE INTERNET I BET U THE PEOPLE WHO ARE READING THIS IS PROBABLY TRACKING U NOW TO MAKE SURE YOUR NOT HURT AND THAT HES NOT A SEX OFFENDER or something.

Reply June 2, 2012, 9:59 pm

yowhatsup

all i could say is be careful sorry

Reply June 2, 2012, 10:03 pm

sweet gurl

hey i have a boyfriend n we r in an L.D.R. (long distance relationship). we usually chat on a social networking sight. we used to call each other but now as he is in navy, he is not allowed to take phones n not even allowed to log in to net. so i haven’t talked to him since a long time. he had got a break of 1 month from it n he said that he would call me but he didn’t. and he went back to the campus (navy)….now i dont know when will he come!!!
he even declared our relationship officially n he used to send me very cute msgs but after sometime he stopped replying and when i asked the reason he told me that when he doesn’t reply it does not means than he dont loves me……..!!!
does he still loves me or not? m totally confused plz help!!!
(P.S.- he also told me very honestly about his past relationships n confessed many things!!!)

Reply April 26, 2012, 2:31 am

sam

not to be mean hun but he said e doesnt love you. dw im in the same situation and its not going to be easy

Reply April 30, 2012, 10:47 am

Yi

…….. sam is that U?

Reply May 19, 2012, 12:29 am

Leila Song

There this guy i like and we talked a lot before everyone found out and started telling him! I was so embarrassed i didnt know what to do then everyone started pressuring me to go to him and talk to him but i couldn’t because i would be so embarrassed in front of him!:( Some times we make eye contact for about 10 seconds but then he looks away. I am not sure what to do please help!!!!

Reply April 25, 2012, 3:40 pm

Tammy

There is a guy I like I’m about 4 years older than him and we’ve worked together for a few yars but I’ve always felt he was too young but he’s of age now and I’m really crushing on him, he’s a more reserved person but these past few months he’s really opened up but not to me, I’m really shy but I will talk to someone who talks to me and I do try to start conversations but he doesn’t seem to want to talk to me, he will talk up a storm around these older women when I’m around and I’m never included he never says more to me than hello and see ya later or general work related questions. I think he knows I like him and I feel the the women I work with know as well and they talk to him like crazy when I’m around. Do you think it’s to make me jealous? I’m such a nice person and I never get a chance, it hurts. I’m sick of this cycle whenever I show interest in a guy he backs away. :( I hate seeing him now I feel hopeless, can you help me at all?

Reply April 20, 2012, 10:49 pm

Kay

Tammy what happened since then?

Reply December 8, 2013, 9:28 pm

Patch Mcay

My boyfirend and i have been going out for 2 weeks now and he always use to follow me, but now he doesn’t, does this mean he doesn’t like me anymore or he just doesn’t think he has to be around me for 24/7.
When he is around I feel like he is keeping me company but when he isn’t I feel like I want him. What should I do (PS: This is my first boyfriend )?

Reply April 20, 2012, 7:09 pm

jesus

I have an idea, how about not trying to read signs and just ask us if we are into you or if we would consider dating you. its that simple…women are always just misreading what doesnt need to be over analyzed. Stop with the games already.

Reply April 19, 2012, 3:14 am

Eric Charles

Yup, I agree. Women make themselves crazy playing “emotional detective” and reading into a bunch of signs that mean *nothing*.
.
Usually when a woman is telling me about a dating issue and throwing in tons and tons and tons of little details, it’s because she wants to talk herself into something by beefing up a bunch of “empty evidence”.
.
“He must love me, he looked at me this morning…”
“He must be interested, he offered to let me stand under his umbrella when it was raining outside…”
“He must think I’m cute, he hugged me first before hugging the rest of the girls in the room.”
.
And on and on… But at the end of the day, if there’s one thing I’ve learned as a dating coach it’s to give people what they want and then slip in what they actually need.
.
People want to know about signs… so I give them signs. And then I try my best to explain that caring about signs is total BS. :)

Reply April 19, 2012, 10:00 am

themissus

Ha-ha. Men are simple creatures. When it comes to them, I don’t over analyze. I’m an old married lady now, but when I was dating I just took the guy’s behavior at face value. If he didn’t call he wasn’t interested, if he was standoffish, he wasn’t interested and I would just move to the next guy. There’s always a next guy! I never tried to figure out what his behavior “meant” cause at the end of the day I didn’t care that much. I was on a mission to get married and find the guy who felt the same way. When it hit the three year mark of dating I told my now husband that If we weren’t moving forward I would have to make alternate plans. That’s all I said and let the chips fall. Within months I had a ring on my finger. I say, observe what he does not what he says and make your choices, ladies. You’re in charge, and there’s always a next guy!

Reply May 9, 2012, 1:14 pm

marie

Well that doesn’t always work because i really liked this guy but he stopped talking to me so i straight out asked him if he didn’t like me and he said no he does….and then he never spoke to me again!

Reply September 6, 2012, 2:41 am

Joe

He just wants to keep you close enough for a booty call, when he wants it.

Reply September 30, 2012, 8:04 pm

annie

Let’s just get something straight here, shall we? Cause frankly I am sick and tired of this shiz. It doesn’t appear to change no matter how old you are, 12, 16, 24 or 31. It is the same thing over and over again.. MIND GAMES.

When you give someone attention, they disappear. You get hurt, ask yourself what you did wrong..did you wear the wrong outfit? did you have a case of bad breath or smelly hair when he came close? did you somehow fall into bad lighting when he saw you across the hallway?

The answer is simple. Sometimes in life things don’t work out, just believe in the fact that sometimes, yes sometimes, these things happen FOR A REASON and that DESTINY IS ACTUALLY GIVING YOU A QUICK WAY OUT OF A POSSIBLE PAINFUL SITUATION.

Some things are not worth the pain, life is short. You can be sitting here in your pastel dress with your orange-red lipstick feeling a little bit confused and hurt, wasting all these time when you could cuddle your cat or talk to your Dad. Life is precious, you wouldn’t know what you are missing out by wasting your time with garbage people like these.

Reply April 17, 2012, 10:40 pm

Paris

So right!

Reply May 17, 2012, 3:19 pm

jessica

There is this boy in my school that I just can’t get off my mind I think about him when I go to sleep sometimes he’s in my dreams its driving me crazy but the problem is he flirts with me a lot but he also flirts with other girls and I get jealous I don’t know what to do I know I like him but does he like me?

Reply April 15, 2012, 9:46 pm

Michelle

Well, there is this guy I like in school and I have NO IDEA if he likes me back..I need to know this because I dont want him to think i freak him out or something. I cant help myself by not looking at him, i always take a glance or 2. All my friends I know think he is really wierd or something. Exept for his girl friend. So I just play along with them. Should I tell one of them that I like him or something? Or should I still keep it a secret? I dont feel comftertable with my friends not liking him. I cant share my secret crush with anyone because im afraid they wont wanna be my friend anymore. I always have these wierd dreams about him kissing me or something. I tell my friends about these dreams but I act like its gross. Inside I think it is really sweet and it is a sign that he might like me back. The only problem is his girl friend.

Reply April 14, 2012, 1:01 am

jenna

Hi there is a boy in pretty much all of my classes that flirts with me (he constantly grabs my waist) I pretend I don’t like it but I do. I think I like him but he also does this to other girls (more to me) the thing that is confusing me is I don’t know if he likes me or that’s just his natural behaviour please help.

Reply April 13, 2012, 8:13 pm

Emma

the guy i like told my friends he liked me and might ask me out, but when im sitting with him alone or with another girl he talks to her and ignores me and he always is talking to my best friend and his best friend asked me if we were going out and i said no and im just soooo confused!! can someone please help!

Reply April 11, 2012, 6:23 pm

Tanya

I am 18 and joined these tutorial classes for a month. My “coach” (lol) is in his early 20’s. He graduated last year and just started working with one of his older friends in his learning business. He is a very smart and attractive. I did some really stupid and embarrassing things, in the first few times we met. Like one day before his birthday, I texted him to ask about the payment and of course I went a bit of topic and told him that I knew it was his birthday.
He replied, “nice research skill you got there…”. The next day, on his birthday I had to see him to do the payments and I was expecting him to literally hide from me. But he was all cool about it and laughed it out.
While he was typing away the invoice on his computer I asked him what he was up to?
He said, “Oh I don’t have any plans yet.”
I said, “Oh I meant what are you doing on the computer right now?” and I laughed
He replied,” I thought you meant later today haha.” and turned all read
I am pretty sure he has guessed I have a little crush on him. I had 2 classes since that day; we both talk normally and he sometimes even teases me about some of the silly things I did or said. I have been texting him about something or the other, and he replies back but with huge timing gaps and all formal. Today I jokingly, asked him if he was a bad tipper and he said he had other classes he was teaching. I told him he should have asked me to not disturb him, but then he says that it’s not a problem because he replies between the breaks. He texts back and we do talk about other things than tutorial work, we have some inside jokes and after classes when I wait for my ride to come we have nice light conversations. But when he texts he is all formal and I sometime feel that he is trying to either keep a distance or make it clear that he isn’t interested but it’s confusing at the same time as he replies to texts un-related to the work. We talk through his work phone, because I don’t have his personal number.
My friends say that because I am 6 years younger than him, he probably thinks it’s cute that I have a crush on him. And that is why he is nice about it. I think it could be true. But when we talk, from his body language I feel sometimes like he is sort off attracted to me.
I am pretty confused! What does this guy want!

Reply April 8, 2012, 4:01 pm

Eric

He is really goin crazy and would love to get u in his bed …. but he’s afraid that he might have problems with the law lol …. enough said

Reply April 18, 2012, 5:51 pm

Awua

18 isn’t illegal, dolt

Reply June 11, 2012, 12:24 am

Iris

Hi there!
I am really confused about this one boy, he has been with many girls I think but I have only
Had one relationship which I’m still in but this isn’t about my boyfriend! A few years ago we were at a party and apparently when someone told him that I was interested he got straight in the car to come see me, he is a really lovely guy and not an arrogant horrible boy at all really lovely. Anyway he didn’t try anything with me we only kissed and being 16 and 18 I thought he would have but he didn’t because I think maybe he either knew I wasn’t
Like that or maybe respected me? I don’t know.
Anyway when we woke up the next day he held hands when me in bed and when he left he took one of my belongings and wore them ?? Never really got this.
Every time we had met before this we had talked for quite a while and he always seemed kid of flirty but never ever tried anything on which I quite liked like he respected me? Anyway after this we both went or separate ways and I moved away for two years. But every time I came home and saw him he was friendly, once offering to give me one of his expensive bracelets. Anyway… What I want to know is… The other night I saw him and realized I had
Liked him all along, he wasn’t following me or looking for me across the room or anything that I was doing for him but was still nice. He asked for my number so we could party afterwards and he said he’d call really early in the morning but he didn’t! I just got a text and then when I replies a few hours later he never replied.
I want to know if for a guy to like you at all does he have to make an effort to look for you across the room on a night out and flirt? Or make any communication at all because I never text him but he never texts me.
Maye because I don’t really get with many people I am attached but he never felt anything to begin with…

Reply April 5, 2012, 10:00 am

Becky Leigh

I really like this guy. We met up had a couple of drinks, he kissed me.
Met up more, he kissed again. This happened several times and he even came to where I work and kissed me again. Couple of weeks ago, we were out. Sane thing happened. But at the end of the night, my friend told me she told him to ask me out, but I don’t want to rush things and neither does he. My friend keeps saying she’s sorry she did that but he might still like me. Since then , I’ve always been the one to text him. He did say last week, he wants to see me more but never texts me. I want to see him again, but has he lost interest?

Reply April 1, 2012, 2:05 pm

themissus

Yes, he has. If was interested he’d be texting you. Move on to the next guy.

Reply May 9, 2012, 1:16 pm

deja

hello themissus,
i just had to say that you must not understand how hard it is just to move on tot he next guy it may be for you but maybe you just havent found LOVE yet. love is not something that you just throw away just letting you know and heres my advice to you i think you should just try to talk it out and work it out and see what goes on from there !!!

Respectfully,
deja the lover <3

Reply September 9, 2012, 2:27 am

Maria

Hey Eric, please help mee /: ok , i really like this one guy iwanna know if he likes me though , i think he flurt;s with me . he poke’s me everytime he see’s me . and ihave a class with him and he sit’s right behind me , and he bother’s me alot he only does this to me not no other gurl. when i put my head down the desk he try’s many way’s to wake me up.. and then when we play around he fight’s me but we are just playing around , when he fight’s me he all trying to hug ma and hold my hand , and also keep’s poking me alot. sometime’s he look’s at me at class and hallways.. does this mean’s he like’s me too /:

Reply March 31, 2012, 1:28 pm

brit

Just enjoy the friendship. Some guys start getting all werid once you tell them u like or ask them do they like you. Because afterwards it wont be natural and then the fun is gone. But I think he likes you and your making his day a lot more intresting because he gets to play with you . Start playing too !

Reply March 31, 2012, 5:59 pm

Maria

soo you think i should keep playinqq ,, i really like him /:

Reply April 1, 2012, 2:40 pm

Maria

Please comment back :'(

Reply April 9, 2012, 6:15 pm

Ariel

So I’ve been dating this guy for about a month now and i really, really like him. Listen I’m in highschool and I have 6th perio with this girl named Sarah. I have no problem with her at all. She’s super nice, but sometimes my boyfreind would come into my class 6th period and talk to her and just not talk to me. I feel like he forgets I’m here. It makes me mad a little but it like hurts more. I like him a lot and he treats me better than my last exboyfriend. I just don’t know what to do. I’m so confused.

Reply March 29, 2012, 9:32 pm

mizredbone

Hey, i have been dating this guy for 6 years and we dont talk like a normal couplle should. We live together and he more stand-offish. We live together and we dont talk all that much. He talk to his friends all the time more then withme. He be on facebook all day long on his phone talking to people. He talks to males and females more then me. The only time he tells me he loves me is when i say it first. Im lost in words what to do. I love him and want to marry him one day. I just dont know if he into me anymore.he dont talk about his feelings to me or what he is thinking. He just holds it in. Everytime i say something he get all mad like i did something wrong. I just ask him a question and he gets all mad at meand go off the deep end. I really dont understand whats going on in his head. We did broke up for 6 months but we was still living together and doing everything that we did when we was in a relationship. He was talking to a female and some how felt in love with her, but she went back with her baby-daddy. Since she went back to her baby-daddy we got back together. We been back together for 3 months now and things still the same. We dont really talk at all but a word ot two every once in a while. Please tell me whats he thinking or what to do.

Reply March 28, 2012, 12:41 am

Awua

I’ve had quiet boyfriends, but quiet boyfriends talk to the woman in their life. They don’t get angry when I talk to them. They don’t talk to other women, never mind flirting with them or acting like they’re in love with them.

Get out. He’s not into you and he’s using you for the nookie and having a domestic servant until he finds someone better.

Reply June 11, 2012, 1:27 am

Elizabeth

There’s this guy from work that strange enough I can’t stop thinking about him and is really irritating. I know we could never be together since we are in different states, he’s different than me and he’s not even my type at all. We talk during the process of fixing issues and the conversation sometimes turns flirtatious. I try to treat him kind of like crap so that he doesn’t notice that I like him. I try to go on a time periods of avoiding him by ignoring him so that I can get him off my mind and so that he doesn’t get a clue that I like him, but somehow he always comes back with either a comments like “Are you ok?” or “Oh I see you still work here” and tells people that he misses me, what puzzles me is that he will tell me I had a date this past weekend, like I care we are not even close enough friends to discuss such things. What does this guy want? Does he like me or not? Personally I think he is a waste of my time.

Reply March 27, 2012, 10:26 pm

Anonymous

Hey,

I’m a woman and I have the same problem as you. It sucks. Like you, I’ve talked to this guy about our respective issues/problems and that is how we became friends. He shares things with me he doesn’t share with anyone else, and vice versa. Slowly, the conversations have also become flirtatious. He’s told me he likes me, and I have told him the same. However, about a month ago, something about him changed ever so slightly. I guess having a woman’s intuition, I picked up on it. Anyways, he will text me but not initiate an actual phone conversation. Sometimes, if I wanna talk to him on the phone, I have to ask him. A couple of times he said he doesn’t feel up to it (he’s going through a tough time)…so I play it cool and say it’s okay but really inside I’m wondering, why can’t he talk on the phone, doesn’t he want to hear my voice, etc etc. I can’t really stop thinking about him either. I’m caught in some limbo where I think of him all day, and I can’t help myself, I want to initiate contact with him. Anyways, he says he misses me too when we don’t talk, and we also live far apart so I don’t even know why I care this much, but I do. I am 26 and even though I’ve got a good amount of experience in relationships, I feel I don’t always understand men. I think this guy seems like he likes you, but he’s clearly sending out some mixed signals. Maybe, if it’s anything like my situation, and you guys talk about “issues” and fixing them, he could be going through something where his mind isn’t on having a girlfriend/relationship, but he can’t help his attraction for you and it comes through in the conversations with you. It’s hard because if you’re friends with a man and you’re attracted to him, and vice versa, it’s like you are more than friends but less than boyfriend/girlfriend. As a woman, I know it confuses me because I want a relationship and at the same time, liking this guy is preventing me from wanting to meet anyone else, and I worry that I will get my heart broken.

I think only you can be the judge of whether or not he is a waste of your time. If he’s stressed and has other things on his mind, I’d maybe try to figure things out more and take my time. Focus on your own life, your friends, things that make you happy in the mean time. If you’ve had enough, maybe talk openly and honestly with him, telling him how you feel, and that you’d rather have a straight answer of if he likes you or not so that you can move on. Many times, men and women play games with one another where one doesn’t want to feel vulnerable, by putting their feelings out there, so both people can end up playing mind games and pretending not to care. That can’t end well. The best, mature way to handle it I think would be talking to him directly, telling him what you’re thinking/feeling, and asking if he feels the same, and that you wouldn’t want to move on without knowing how he really feels. That’s his chance to tell you if he feels the same, if this is just something more casual, if he sees you just as a friend, etc. Life is complicated enough, just be up front and ask him directly. If he is honest and likes you and wants to have a relationship, great. If not, at least you know you’re not wasting your time and energy that you could be spending on someone who will reciprocate your feelings. If he plays the game where he doesn’t want you to know he likes you, so he gives you some sort of mixed answer, I’d say move on and try to leave him in the past (as someone you’d think of pursuing as more than a friend/relationship-wise) – because if a guy can’t see you as so special that he can’t tell you how he feels even when given the opportunity (ie. when asked by you) – then he isn’t worth it.

I feel your confusion, and I’m going to follow the same advice I gave you if I still have these feelings for him probably in a month or so. Eventually, I’m going to have to ask him how he feels about me relationship-wise, because I know he does like me. I can’t continue talking to a man who flirts with me but doesn’t want to be with me. In the future, would the man you’re with want u to be talking to a guy you once liked more than a friend and flirt with? I know most men wouldn’t. I say give this guy a chance if he wants the chance to make you happy, and if he doesn’t care to take that chance, move on. Good luck!

Reply April 4, 2012, 3:40 pm

Awua

1) It sounds like this is a work situation. Why are you flirting with a co-worker or colleague on company time? Knock it off. You’re there to work. Save flirting for lunch or your breaks, or after work.

2) It also sounds like you don’t know yourself or what you want at all. Why do you have a “type”, anyway? Can’t you appreciate a man for who he is?

3) He says he has dates. That means he’s not into you. Get the hint.

4) It sounds like he has sense to go out with other people, because you are a total nut case. Do you know how I know this? You lie to this man and push him away, and then you have the audacity to claim YOU don’t know what HE wants?

Are you for real? You should be ashamed of yourself for even daring to type that.

YOU’RE the one who is making things difficult because 1) you don’t know what the F you want and 2) you’re a liar and a manipulator. What else can anyone call your behavior when you tell him you don’t like him–when you do (LIAR), and push him away–when you don’t want him gone (MANIPULATOR).

Get help. You need it. Desperately.

Reply June 11, 2012, 1:19 am

Sapphyreopal5

Wait, so you are the one who is avoiding/ignoring him, treat him like crap as you put it, saying he is a waste of your time, etc. yet YOU are the confused one? Forgive me for being confused here but it sounds like the one who is playing anyone is you playing him. Get your sh!t together, figure out what on earth it is YOU want from HIM.

Reply July 27, 2013, 9:50 pm

Sarah Lee

So i knw this guy, we have been friends since form 2. I met him in spanish class & after dat we haven’t stopped talking 2 each other. I never liked him back then but i do nw & i told him & he also said dat he felt d same way… & after dat day wen i confessed 2 him i liked him, things were different. I mean we always wanted 2 see each other. I cant even remember one day dat we neva talked, i mean i loved talking 2 him…. & nw we barely talk. Back then wen i used 2 message him, in a split second he wud reply but nw in 2 days and more he replies 2 me. If I am on facebook, i see him online but yet he neva replies 2 my message but still puts up status and talks 2 his friends but guess wat? i brushed it off! & jus yesterday he puts up a status saying ‘CANT BE FRIENDS’ and i thought he was talking about me, but i was quick 2 come 2 conclusions because after dat i saw a picture with him and dis nex girl, Holding Hands :( I mean, i feel stupid! I dont knw hw 2 feel actually because he is nt even my boyfriend. I thought dat we were actually getting somewhere but i had my hopes up 2 high & nwi feel crushed…… hw do i solve dis…. shud i jus talk 2 him or leave him & move on……….. wat if my assumptions about this girl is wrong??

Reply March 26, 2012, 4:13 pm

Fay

Hi. I have a question. My boyfriend and I broke up 6 weeks ago. I actually broke up with him then immediately changed me mind. Well since then I called, texted and emailed a total of about 25 times. I know… toatlly pathetic.
Dring this time he responded nicely (not saying stop..were done… nothing) more like nice vague comments. Finally he texted me after I asked him to please just tell me its over and he did clarify at that point. Why would he respond those other two times?

Reply March 23, 2012, 2:17 pm

Eric Charles

Stop obsessing about this… you are guaranteed to drive him away and drive yourself crazy in the process.
.
The answer is: YOU DON’T KNOW. You can’t know – you’re not a mind reader.
.
Stop acting so needy and move on with living a happy and fulfilling life. If you want any chance of him coming back, you will destroy that chance by not giving him any psychological room to breathe.
.
MOVE ON.
.
He knows you’re there for the taking. It’s probably as obvious as the sun in the sky. Ease off and focus on something else. If he wants you back, he’ll make the move.

Reply March 23, 2012, 3:23 pm

Awua

Because he’s probably feeling sorry for you for being an immature neurotic who doesn’t know what she wants.

And maybe–just maybe–he’s tired of your manic mood swings.

Look, cookie, YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM.

If you didn’t mean it, tough. Maybe next time you’ll think before you break up with somebody willy nilly again.

Think of it as a life lesson. You desperately need it.

Reply June 11, 2012, 1:06 am

sexymama

how to tell when a guy doesnt like you and do like you

Reply March 21, 2012, 3:02 pm

becky

just like to add he wont stop liking my status’ and its starting to annoy me coz if hes liking them then why isnt he talking to me :@

Reply March 19, 2012, 5:07 pm

becky

theres this guy, like there usually is, and we met at ice skating a few weeks ago. We’ve been talkin on facebook for a couple of weeks flirting, hes been saying im pretty etc. He then posts a heart i my inbox saying he fancies me and i told him the same and weve been on skype during all of this flirting and getting to know each other. But the other day i posted in is inbox a LMS (like my status) and since then hes been really weird and egnoring me slightly and not making conversation, its like as if ive just told him i like him. Its like he likes me but is trying to forget me but the problem is i cant move on because i like him so much. Does he like me? Is he avoiding me? i dont know what to do because it just went from being really close and talking all the time and flirting to hardly any interaction what so ever and i dont know whether i should contact him first or what all i want to do is talk to him and see if hes out at the weekend but im just worried hes rejecting me!

Reply March 19, 2012, 4:21 pm

Ally

I just went on a date with a guy that showed 90% of these signs (this was our first date). He stared at every girl that walked by, never looked me in the eyes, flirted with the waitress he knew, and stood me up before we met. The problem is he actually likes me…lot.

Some of these signs are misleading. I even do some of those things on a date/ in a relationship, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not interested.

Reply March 16, 2012, 3:33 pm

Eric Charles

It’s true – to be honest, I’m not a huge advocate of looking for signs whatsoever. Much better to ASSUME that you’re hot and the guy wants you than to play “emotional detective”, obsessing over subtle, often meaningless “clues”.

Reply March 16, 2012, 4:00 pm

Awua

Well, that explains why I never lacked for a date when I was single!

I expect men to want to be with me–and by damn, they do. Even though I’m married!

Not a week goes by that I’m not asked out. I went out with a bunch of people at work not too long ago–and had three guys fighting to buy drinks for me, despite how there were a dozen women half my age (I’m 50!) in our party who would have loved to have the attention.

Any man who doesn’t want to be with me is a moron. That really is my attitude!

It’s amazing how many men think a particular woman is worth having when the woman herself thinks she’s worth having. Funny how that works.

Reply June 11, 2012, 12:42 am

Sara

So I really like this guy and he’s in my homeroom and a lot of my classes at school. So a little while ago he would like flirt with me and make me laugh and everything, but now its changed and I don’t really talk to him anymore. We’re not best friends and I’ve only known him since school started (about 4 or 5 months) and I think he might have liked me for a while and I like him too but I’m not sure how to flirt with him if he seems uninterested. How do I flirt with him? How do I know he likes me or not? Please Help!

Reply February 23, 2012, 10:34 pm

hottie

My boyfriend and ? A?????r? planning to get married,he is jobless but searching for work,? love him and he says he loves ???????????? too but in all our conversation he talks about his ex too much and that get ???????????? worried eventhough it is about Ho???? she dis appointed him but i sometime feels that girl has a part of ???????????? than him,he had engaged †?? girl but refuses to engage ???????????? with †?? excuse he has no money and now my problem is A????? scared if he gets a job and his ex needs him he might dump ???????????? for her. Pls help ???????????? on ??ã†?? to do

Reply February 6, 2012, 8:08 pm

chibiabos

I have a penis, and this article is asinine. The fact that someone doesn’t effusively crawl up your ass mean absolutely nothing other than that single fact

And FYI sniping out greetings when someone passes you by does not make you two friends and it doesn’t mean you’re a good person. If you really want to screw someone, which I’m assuming is the ultimate motive here since none of you are going to rush into a sexless relationship based on mutual respect and grokking (as it were), and you really feel like you could give it a shot then have the decency not to play some stupid game.

You don’t need to be vulgar about it and you don’t need to go harassing random people like some drunken fraternal dipshit, though that is the path some girls seem to choose, but people in this society need to start recognizing the difference between acknowledging their sexual wants and letting them consume your entire life.

Sex isn’t evil, and if it works out for you then great, but even the free love crowd tacks on so much overcomplicated crap to justify the getting someone else to get them off…

If you want a guy so damned bad then try treating people with respect instead of pretending that you’re somehow bound into this convoluted bullshit

Reply February 5, 2012, 9:30 pm

Summer

I like a boy and we have became very close friends recently again because we kinda just stopped talking to each other last time and now we became friends again but last time before we stopped talking he got a girlfriend and I think that’s what caused our friendship to slip! Any way the past couple of weeks we were talking to eachothermin school and I sit right beside the bin and he keeps coming over and pretending he needs to sharpen his pencil so he could talk to me but I didn’t know if he liked me. the weekend after he asked me to go to the cinema with him and his friend who is going out with my friend so you could see it as a doubl date but it wasn’t really. Then my best friend broke up with her boyfriend who we were at the cinema with and then out of the blue my crush announced that he liked my friend. I was gutted when I found out because I really thought we were going on to something. Anyway their dating now and now he doesn’t talk to me so he’s done it again. I just think I shouldnt talk to him again because I feel like he’s leading me on when he’s singl then ditching me when he’s in a relationship. I don’t know?

Reply February 3, 2012, 2:35 pm

Confuseddd!

Okay, let’s give this a shot, there’s this guy, and I am in love with him, and I know a lot of girls my age say that and in a month they’re over the guy, but I’ve liked him for so long that I just can’t stand this anymore.
Okay, so I’m actually really close with him as a friend, I know a lot about his past and him now, I know who he likes and everything, and he knows almost everything about me execpt that I love him, everyone thinks I fancy him, but I’ve been denying it, because I don’t, I love him. He always messes around with me and talks to me, I have so much fun when I’m around him and I feel he’s the only one I can trust, and when I’m around him, I feel like life makes sense again. And he put as his status on facebook “I wish that i’d be liked for who I am and for one girl to put me before any other boys” So I messaged him saying “Hey, I put you before any other boy, and I like you for who you are!” And he didn’t even reply after half an hour, when normally it takes him 10 minutes max to reply so I sent “Okay, ignore me then”

He still hasn’t messaged back after an hour.
Am I over-reacting? And will this make him hate me or something?
Please help:(

Reply February 3, 2012, 11:39 am

Confuseddd!

the hotmail account is .co.uk not com please change that if you reply thanks xx

Reply February 3, 2012, 11:42 am

Awua

Are you stupid? Why did you put that on facebook?

Do you realize that 1) It’s a public forum more or less, and you might have embarrassed him; or 2) that things don’t always come across the way you intend in print the way they would if you were talking, face to face? Print doesn’t have smiles or softness or tenderness. Print is print!

You’ve probably confused the hell out of him, and he doesn’t know if you like him as a man or as a friend, or if you’re joking with him, or what!

What’s wrong with you?

Reply June 11, 2012, 12:47 am

May

I’m actually interested in two guys right now. [I mean, it doesn’t hurt to look around my surroundings more right?] Wells, before i get into any details… i wanted to know if GUYS [you boys] talk to girls your not interested in.

Anyways, boy#1 actually said he has a girlfriend a month ago when we were getting into a conversation. But the thing is, he and i have a class together, and he always ends up talking to me. It looks like he talks to me more than any other girls in the room and always tries to get out of class the same time i do so we can both talk to each other casually after class. [cause i usually leave really fast cause idk what to do.. i mean i would REALLY love to talk to him after class all the time but if it doesnt look casual, im kind of afraid you know?] So like, i talk to him almost everyday now… but the thing is….. WHY IS HE TALKING TO ME when he has a gf? Whats going on here? is he interested in me or what? I really want to ask him whats up with his gf and him… [they both go to DIFFERENT college/ i have never met the girl] I mean like… are they still going out???!?!?!?! I want to ask him but i dont know how to start up that kind of conversation.. -_-xx sighh

Boy#2.
Okay.. so im kind of interested in this guy too. [Not as much as #1 lol] the thing is, He always use to say stuff to grab my attention.. Hi May!! and i’d just wave back.. and when i leave he’d be like BYE may!! and i’d just kindly smile back… and he did this 5 times before he finally got tired i think..cause i never said hi/bye first and never really tried to continue his conversation. BUT thats only because he made things awkward.. he’d like randomly blurt out that he can match me of what im wearing that day the next day and stuff.. i mean, what in the world am i to say to that? i dont even know him THAT well.. and yes,, im attracted to his looks and his clown like personality right now haha. i dont really know much about him just his major and how old he is…. BUT ASIDE FROM ALL THAT!! the most important part is…. his flirting with another girl now. LIKE WTH? i thought I THOUGHT!!! he was interested in me??!?!?! Like he talks to this other girl more now and today he even hugged her twice…[he never did that to me!] i heard that boys find many ways to touch girls they like, is this true? idk why but i kind of got jealous of her!!! Im sad/pissed and i dont even have the right to be. -_-x so my question is.. wthell is he doing? was he just playing nice to me or being a jerk? im confused..

so from #1 and 2…how do i go forward with my relationship? Advice me pls!

Reply February 3, 2012, 4:05 am

naomi

It has been over 4 years since I’ve had a crush on someone and having this teenage feeling is weird it sometimes makes me act clumsy around the guy I’m crushing on now. We work together and he is super hot, he’s very friendly with me and others. He also flirts a lot with me which is how I ended up liking him so much. The problem is that he now knows that I like him or atleast he can see that I do because I’ve been pretty obvious around him. I know he doesn’t he doesn’t like me because he sometimes takes days to text me back or sometimes doesn’t text me back at all. I never ask him why when I see him I just carry on as if it doesn’t bother. When I textd him my bbm pin and he never textd back or even invited me on bbm it hurt me real bad. So now I want to know HOW DO I WIN THIS SITUATION?? I tried to distance myself and flat out ignore him but because I am soo used to talking to him ignoring him just makes it obvious that I’m hurting. It makes me seem like I need his pity for not liking me back. How do I gradually ignore him?

Reply December 29, 2011, 3:04 am

Susana Ontiveros

Hi Naomi,

Its funny to mention but I was actually in a similar situation recently. I truly liked this guy at work and all of what you mentioned in your post happened to me. The way that I got distance myself was the fact that he obtained a job elsewhere and I can truly now say that I am actually happy it happened that way. He was completely playing mind games with me. The sad part about it was that we are both married which carried more guilt which was one of the reasons for me not wanting to have him around anymore. I hope that you pray on this and you will see that if you do it will be answered the way it did to me.

Reply March 12, 2012, 12:43 am

Awua

Why do you have to “win”? It’s not about winning and losing. He’s just not into you. That’s just how it is.

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, anyway? Why would you let it hurt you? There are over 3 billion males on this planet! Plenty to choose from! Stop being a child, grow up and GET OVER the fact that he isn’t into you!

It’s really that simple! He doesn’t like you! SO F’N what? The world doesn’t stop spinning on its axis because you don’t get what you want, cupcake.

You say he flirts with you all the time? Why do you let him? Give him the cold shoulder the next time he tries it–he will never stop if you keep letting him treat you like a toy. Tell him his behavior is inappropriate, and you would appreciate it if he dealt with you in a more mature manner.

STOP TEXTING HIM! Why do you do that, when you know he’s not into you? Has it occurred to you that you’re being a nuisance and borderline stalking? Would you want some guy you didn’t like to be texting you endlessly? Did you ever put your place in his shoes, and imagine how utterly deranged or self-loathing you seem to him to be texting him when he’s made it clear he thinks you’re someone he can use?

What is the matter with you?

Reply June 11, 2012, 12:58 am

Susy 84

So there’s this guy at my work who I began working with closely in a case together. Both of us are married and I have a child and he doesn’t. From the beginning I began to notice that he would do random things like try to ask me about my personal life but would act shy by not making eye contact while engaging in conversation with me. I have also noticed that he will often pass by through my work station about a million times but can’t tell if it’s on purpose or he really needs to get through. My supervisor happens to be his friend and I have heard from my supervisor that this guy will often compliment me about my work often. He will also tease me here and there usually when i’m alone and not around my other co-worker friends and call me on the phone for some absurd reason. Recently while holding a work related conversation with him he told me he had told my supervisor that I was the best employee he had and learned that if he could have me on all his cases he would but then he ended our conversation abruptly to throw something to the trash and seemed a little nervous. I don’t know what that meant? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Reply December 23, 2011, 2:00 pm

Awua

You’re married. He’s married. He isn’t your concern. You don’t want to be his.

Stop thinking about him, because you are going to hurt a lot of people if you don’t stop obsessing about your fantasies.

You don’t know what he feels–and it really isn’t your concern, as a married woman.

Forget about him, and get back to work.

PROBLEM SOLVED.

Reply June 11, 2012, 1:01 am

treionna

PLEASE HELP!!!
There is this guy i really like, like omg and he is sooo freaky fine man
but lately i am getting tired of him because he act like doesn’t like me
he always staring at me and i even heard from my friend he was talking about me and i ask his friend was he talking about me in a bad way and his is like no in a good way
and then he is always checking me out and i talk to him a few times i told him i had a crush on him and i thought he was cute and he smile and i told him i want to get to know him cause i am always hearing about him from other people and i am just getting tired of it and he says i can talk to him but i never talk to him like i try….
and he smiled at me like 2 times and i always use to say hi to him like for a week in a half and i started to see he wasn’t saying hi to me first at all so i stop saying hi to him i mean he say hi to me if i say hi to him
and i like i am so confused like i don’t want to like this guy no more but for some reason something keep pullin me back and i don’t know what it is
and i just need to stop this before i end of crying again cause i feel like he likes me but he doesnt know how to tell me and he’s friends i know think i am so freaky hot
and he told his cousin he thought i was fine and he think he have a chance with me but he doesn’t know how to approach me wtf
he can talk to every other girl accept me…
like he wouldn’t seat at my table at lunch time but his friend did…
and like i don’t know anymore
i don’t think i never have a chance with him
i want to be over him i swear i do….

Reply December 21, 2011, 6:51 pm

Riley

This guy, never stoped talking to me and now he never “has time”
I really like him and I know hhe really likes me but my friends say Play-Hard-To-Get
But how?

Reply December 17, 2011, 12:33 pm

Eric Charles

Right now you’re fixating your focus on the guy 100%. And all that’s going to do is make you nuts.
.
Stop focusing on the guy. Focus on your life. Focus on your own happiness and enjoyment of your life.
.
It’s not necessarily a matter of “playing hard to get”, it’s really just giving him room to reach for you. And to make that room, your best bet is to have a full and fulfilling life that keeps you occupied and engaged in the meantime.
.
Hope that helps.

Reply December 17, 2011, 1:46 pm

isabel

i agree

Reply December 26, 2011, 7:35 pm

MariLu

It’s all about intuition! How we do that? No idea! It’s so easy for us, women, to analyse every single detail trying to came out with de perfect reason why the guy went from hot to cold or smth like that! Believe me, girls, when you know that guy likes you it’s probably because he does!

Why he doesn’t make the move or he just disappears? Probably he’s got a lot on his mind or he’s scared or he thinks he just not that into you or actually he isn’t! But what about you? What do you feel? Do you like him? Did you act upon it? Go with you gut! If you feel like to talk to him just do it! Keep it in a light conversation! Are you intense: you go girl, give it hard! :p

Every case is a different story! Every story has unique characters! Every character has it’s own personality! So, girls, can you personality be described by “that guy”? Of course, not! You’ve got your work or/and your studies, your friends, your family, your hobbies and so on!

So, here’s a quick tip: it’s this situation annoying you? Yes! So act upon it! Don’t know what to do? So perhaps it’s because you shouldn’t do anything! Did you act the way you think you should have? Good! Girls, our thoughts, attitudes and behaviors are who we are! In this early stage of the “relationship”, if a guy doesn’t like your attitude or you don’t like his attitude it’s because right now it wouldn’t work!

Keep it simple! Do you want to move on? Do it! You don’t you know what to do…Well, I bet you’ve got friends to go out with or that dance lessons you’ve been dying to take…perhaps, that project you’ve been postponing :p

Note: sorry if this look like a know-it-all text! It wasn’t my intention! I’ve been trough a couple of these maddening situation and somehow I got to this conclusion! Right now I’m trying to do that! ahahah aahh ahahha

Reply February 4, 2012, 11:42 am

magdalena

okay so i like this guy very much, we have one class together and he flirts with me a lot. we make a lot of eye contact and for a long time too. But sometimes i feel like he is just not paying attention at all,sometimes he wont really talk to me. is it because he might have problems at home or somewhere else? it is really hard to read him. he tells me a lot of secrets about himself. I really don’t know what is going on in his head. I really want to find out if he likes me or not. sometimes it hurts because i always think to myself someone will steal him because he is very good looking. all the other girls like him because he is hot but i like him for the right reasons.please help :( what do i do?

Reply December 14, 2011, 6:15 pm

Brit brit

Ok , so my aparment neighboor as i walked by his doorstep opened his door and said ” what was ur name again ” ( i previosly introduced myself to him before when he approched me ) I told him my name and then he asked me where was i going, i said school. he then asked me what am i doing after school. i said i had to do some things with my mother lol. and then he was like ” theres always tomorrow” , i was kind of hessitant and thinking what to say. There was a pause…then he said , Can i get your number ? . now i wanted to give it to him but i keep thinking to myself this would make me look easy .like all he has to do is ask a couple questions a BAM he gets the digits or I kept thinking to myself he’s your neighboor this is a bad idea your already socially challenged what if you screw up ur hang out and cant hide cause he’s ur neighboor. sooo basically i just said ” I’ll see you again you live right there ” and then said i had to go so i wouldnt be late for my class. I was sooo happy that he asked me to hang out when i left that i couldnt believe i didnt just say yes. ANYWAYS , I didnt bump in to him for a couple of weeks less sooner than i thought. when i finally did he was in the parking lot getting someting out of his car and i was outside too with someone about to get a ride to work. He didnt say nothing , he was looking down at the ground. i wanted to say hi, but once again i was hessitant. He did go on the otherside of his window and peeked through at us . ( i saw him do it when i looked backed ) sooo, after we pulled off around the front of the apartments he was walking back to his place. i looked at him again … i think he was looking at me too. and then he started putting on his shades LOL and as we drove by i threw up the peace sign and he threw it back up at me and laughed and smilled while he did it.

SO what i want from this is you guys is feed back on what i shared. I do like him but i do believe he’s much older than me im 21. im guessing he’s in his late 20’s or maybe he’s 30 he has a mature but young look i cant tell.

I NEED ADVICE what should i do just leave it alone?
i dont walk by his apartment door anymore i take the back parking lot ally because i dnt want to look like im looking 4 attention or look like a stalker lol

Reply December 1, 2011, 3:15 pm

Crystal

I like this guy at school, yet I don’t know him or anything about him other then he’s a Raider’s fan, cause of a shirt he wore one day, I’m too shy too confront him and I have anxiety, I’m not sure how to go about initiating a conversation with him, but one day I was at the hospital tim hortons and he was there But I didn’t see him, I felt his presence sounds weird but it’s so true, There’s been allot of times where I’ll like a guy and there’s no interest on his part, But I feel different in this situation, I’ve never felt a guy I like’s energy before, And I’d like some advice, He’s looked at me then noticed me and glanced several times, But I’m not sure how to go about it. Help! :)

Reply November 30, 2011, 10:29 am

Crystal

He purposely met up with me at the door so he could open it for me!
????? Need advice!

Reply December 1, 2011, 2:38 pm

Mary

I sent this guy a birthday text message at 7.30 pm & called him out of the blue. No respond. He gave me a missed call at 10pm. I trying calling back but the line was busy so i text him asking: ” umm is it kurt :O ?” he replied: ” yeah, who’s this?” i replied:” 😀 ah forgot its mary. He responded:” hai how are you?”…
I began to feel awkward as if i were cheap or hard up according to his respondance. I’m still uncomfortable about it. I didnt reply him after that. Infact he didnt know who it was as it was my first time to text him out of the blue.
I was just wondering if he was bored or annoyed with the birthday text. :/
what impression did it give him?:O what was he feeling/thinking/reaction?:-| what/how does his conversation sound? What does his conversational signs mean? Please help!
:P:|:) :S thanks!!! 😀

Reply November 30, 2011, 1:49 am

Annie

Ok i really need help with liking boys.
So me and this boy his name is Brandon Holmes,we were talking for about 3 or 5 weeks now,then all of a sudden he stopped talking to me and that me upset. It was 6 or 5 day ago.He is 15 and so am i.Did I do something wrong????

Reply November 29, 2011, 8:45 pm

Tiffany

Same thing happened to me the guy I’m talking to stopped talking to me but he still talks to my friends.. :/ you should ask him why he stopped or maybe hes just really busy just give it about a week see if he texts or talks to you.. if not then ask him whats going on?

Reply December 20, 2011, 12:47 am

Rubi

HEY PLEASE HELP ME!!!
well theres this guy i like, lets call him M, he knows i like him my friends sometimes tell him he should ask me out and stuff. He flirts with me and shows off a lot even his friends say his showing off at me :) but i find out he apparently like this girl, lets call her K and they have a class and she always sits on the table in front of him and flicks her hair :/
I also hang out near him at recess and lunch and we sometimes kick the footy to each other and his shows off my kicking it really high and making its twirl and if im not kicking it and im sitting down he will aim at me and smile and laugh, he is so sweet to me, but he confuses me so much!!! PLEASE HELP also im 14 and he is 15 we are in the same year

Reply November 25, 2011, 1:38 am

Alison

hi :) I have a crush with a guy who is a year and a half younger than me, we are in high school, Im 16 a he is 14, well i stared to talk to him in facebook, at first he looked interested, then i continue saying hi at school, but after that he begun to flirt with another girl {comments in his profile} and he did not care about talking to me. well this girl have a boyfriend so the guy i like seems to give up. Then i begun to talk to him again {facebook}, it seems that he doesn t like but he doesnt ignore me, so yesterday i approached him to say hi, while going to school, because he was in the same way, he was serious, at first he did like he doesn t see me but then he answered me and we walked together for a while, there was an akward silence so i said WE ARE GOING TO ARRIVE EARLY uh? and his reaction was like from serious to a smile ..end of the story .. also in all that time he didnt make eye contact, he was looking at the floor all the time, and he is not shy. so he is not interesed in me? or what?

Reply November 22, 2011, 1:30 am

Morgan

Ok, so there’s this guy I really like but I don’t know if he likes me. We’re not in the same class so I don’t hang around him that much. But one time he sat by me while I was drawing in my notebook and we were laughing and he even drew something in my notebook. Then he left and I thought it was over but he came back. Like I said I really, really like him, so I’m thinking of asking my best friend to ask him if he likes me. Is this a smart idea?

Reply November 20, 2011, 2:59 pm

Kate

There’s a guy at my school which I’m really interested in. He used to look at me in the hallway and once he even smiled at me but not anymore. He totally ignores me. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never talked to him and I know I’ll never have the courage to do so either (I’ve never done anything like this). At lunch, he sits one table AWAY from me and my friends and he just never looks at me anymore. I’m so lost and sad and I don’t know what my problem is and why I just can’t forget about him. Please help me, is there anyway that I can get him to talk to me? Or just find out if the slightest chance of him liking me exists? Does he like me or is he simply not interested?

Reply November 14, 2011, 3:56 pm

Astrid

I am in a relashionship a fell for someone else. I currently living with that peorson while my crush pretty much knows how i feel. My crush worked with me and we would flirt and get along too well\. He is my perfect guy. Problem is i don’t know i he like me for sure. He told me he loved me casually in front of my cousin. He left town and i had plans of moving into my own apt. the apt did not follow through because of financial reasons. I’m friends on facebook with him and sent a message but he never wrote back . It kills me not to know. I need to know if the person who made me find problems with my relationship was for the best. I would do anything to be with him. Hurts to know that he just left even though we said our goodbyes. Should I peruse finding out how he feels? Or do I need to get over it? Feel like we could be soul mates and i think he realizes that too.

Reply November 12, 2011, 6:31 pm

john boy

I just want to interject that these are not cast iron rules and will depend on the context of the situation. For example a girl I work with and absolutely adore definitely believes in the first rule ‘he’s not around you’, because if I didn’t go and talk to her she would take it to heart and read to much into it. The problem was I spent a lot of time going and talking to her when I should have been working, but some days I was busy and had to work so couldn’t talk to her or ‘be around’ her. Nothing to do with me losing interest or whatever she thought was going on, I was just busy doing jobs that couldn’t be left.

Reply November 8, 2011, 12:09 pm

Carla

If a man doen’t have feelings for me anymore, will he loose his time arguing with me at 5am in the morning after a night out with his friends about my mistakes (that he think I did) in our past relationship?

I thins he still likes me, but I realised (at this argument) that he thinks I did a lot of things wrong. He was yelling at me about things I did wrong in our relationship. And it was 5 am and we were both tired from the night out. When I started crying saying that I couldn’t beleive what he was saying, he just said “I can’t argue anymore” and drove off very quickly with a lot of tires noise.

Would he loose his time arguing with me at 5am in the middle of the street if he didn’t stil have feelings for me?

Reply November 7, 2011, 1:54 am

Ben

Some of this is absolute rubbish. Guys get shy too. Sometimes if we don’t make eye contact or an effort to talk to you it’s because we’re afraid that A. we’ll say something stupid B. we’ll make an idiot of ourselves or C. we’ll annoy you. We can’t tell if you like or hate us either. Sometimes we may even talk about other girls to try and draw attention away from our feelings for you. I’ve been there. I’ve done all that. Sometimes we’re afraid of screwing up a friendship.

Reply November 6, 2011, 1:09 am

Eric Charles

I completely agree. SOMETIMES…
.
But the point of the article isn’t a guidebook on becoming a better “emotional detective” to figure out if a guy likes her or not – that’s the sort of thing that drives women (and sometimes men) crazy.
.
I give the most common signs, but I go on to say that playing the detective role is a losing game…
.
My main goal is to give women a focus on something that they can control and have power over, versus worrying and feeling powerless. So that’s part of the reason I didn’t go into every possibility – it’s really a moot point anyway.

Reply November 6, 2011, 10:33 am

Caitlin

Ok, so me and this guy talk to each other like everyday except for sometimes when it kinda feels awkward for no reason and I don’t talk to him cause I feel awkward too. Hahaha. I think he likes me because he comments about my eyes, always gives me direct eye contact, sits near me, makes jokes with me, teases me, and we just feel comfortable with each other. He always smiles when we talk, and I find myself smiling for no reason while were talking for no reason too. Like one time we were talking about something serious, and we were both trying so hard not to smile for some reason. The only thing is I’m afriad were just friends. I have no idea if he’s into me, and I’m scared to ask him because last year my good friend asked him out and he said they were just friends. And it was really uncomfortable for them. (Although when he told everyone in this one class about her asking him out, when I walked away from the group cause icouldnt hear anything, he called me back and was like “WAIT I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.” But I’m really not sure if he likes me. I think he knows too, since my friend deiceded to hint obvisously about it, and I think he told my friend too, cause whenever she sees me now she starts smiling for no reason. So he knows I like him but still he talks to me. And I just love the way he looks at me. But I’m afraid to ask him out becaus e I know he has lots of friends that are girls and I don’t want to lose him altogether. he even has this special tone of voice for me that I love. But I’m still not sure, I know I’m his type and everything. Sorry this was so long, haha, but help?!

Reply November 6, 2011, 12:40 am

Caitlin

Oh yeah, and I forgot to metion that sometimes when I don’t talk to him I notice him glancing at me a couple times seeing if I’m gonna talk to him, which makes me wanna laugh. And one time I was over his house and we were sitting on the steps and his little sister came out and said something cute and we just looked at each other and laughedtogether. Oh yeah and he always says hi to me first whenever imwith a person he knows. The day that my friend hinted around that I liked him, he was in my next period class and was all extra happy to see me. But I was embarressed cause I thought he knew so I was awkward. So this is kinda driving me insane, and I can’t take it anymore. Haha I can’t think of him without smiling or laughing, I can’t even look at his picture without laughing.

Reply November 6, 2011, 1:17 am

Ann

5 months ago I started talking to this guy and I felt we had a connection. We met up for lunch or dinner sometimes and he had a lot going good for him too. Well 4 weeks ago I went to his place and we kinda took things to the next level, no we did not go all the way. For me it was special and he even said he wants to keep seeing me. Well I talked to him once after and after that when I texted him 2 times he never replied? Should I text and see what’s up, it’s been 4 weeks, or should I leave it and move on?

Reply October 30, 2011, 10:51 pm

sarah

So My mom talk to one of the guys that im friends with an asked if he had any guys to set me up with. He said yes an this one guy quickly said how bout me. Well i started hanging with them every weekend an he started getting made when i talk bout my ex an always talking smiling making eye contact . He said how bout me to date im a nice guy, The other night he hugged an kissed me an danced with me an we cuddled all night. his friend told me to make my move. So does he like me?

Reply October 26, 2011, 7:07 pm

kiara

i mean realy not meaning to be a hack or anything..

Reply October 14, 2011, 12:13 am

kiara

no offence ladys but this is not a confetion booth but there are a bunch off old worn out sackmen trying to pose as sad percy girls no one u dont know shood be seeing this kind off deep personal feelings

Reply October 14, 2011, 12:11 am

Sandra

HElpp! I ment this guy and he made sweet comments that I was pretty And stuff and he started getting closer and closer to me day by day. Like we have partners and he tries to talk to me more so we can be partners. And hes ALWAYS saying to me we will go on a date confidently. And when we walk he touches my hand or gets near me all the time. And he makes a big scene that I want to hold his hand and stuff when its him. Then I picked a diffrent partner that was another guy and he totally got butthurt at the fact that I left him. He starts appearing everywere I am now. And he stays near me. He pokes me and stuff in a flirty way and calls me his girl. and his friends act all funny about us. He acts in a jerk to get my attention. but still does flirt alittle with other girls. I dont know if he Likes me or not?? I really need help On Thiss onee, Anyone?? :)

Reply October 13, 2011, 10:29 pm

Nessa

Hey Eric, I hope you have time for this, you are a guy so you need to help me.

ok so I’ve been talking to this dude since June 2011, yes that long. I’m getting mixed messages from this guy. At first all he seemed to be interested in is sex, yes sex sex sex, it was driving me crazy. When we first started talking he was in another city visiting his daughter, so we never went on a date. He got back at the end of July and we met up, and he seemed really shy it was kinda cute. Anyway he would text on and off, he would stop texting for 3 days and then lo and behold there he was saying “hey how are you beautiful” …. ok. He said he was moving and wanted me to help him look for a place and eventually he found somewhere really nice. Anyway he stopped texting me for two weeks but I did’nt care I was in Europe having a blast, men were the last thing on my mind. What do you he text me from a different number saying “hello beautiful” so I said hey I’m in Europe. Anyway I got back we kept texting and he started his sex talk again and saying I should come over. I told him I was not going to come to his house any hour of the night and if he wanted to see me it would have to be on my time. He stopped texting for 3 days and then he texted back saying how sorry he was and he wanted to take me out. I let him but I can’t read this guy he seems to like me and I like him but I’m not sure. He treated me to a nice dinner and everytime he texts saying he’s sorry he didn’t text me earlier but he was just busy…. Is this dude a joke, creep, or a lost soldier?

Reply October 4, 2011, 5:46 pm

britney

Wow. Honestly, this is the first time i had a crush and they did not like me back. It kinda burns lol. I got like 10/10 on this one. Oh well…cant have’em all. Its confusing though. I talk to him and he seems annoyed or when he says hi it seems fake or he’s mocking the way i greet people. Lolol. But at the same time it feels like he’s listening to my conversations or keeps me in his view, or talks to me randomly . Like get a lime soda, or hey brit u going to bible talk. Lol but anyways i think when we like someone we anaylize their actions 100% more and often times interpert them they way our perception see things which is blinded with the fact that we like them and we want all their actions and words to be directed toward us. But anyways im just going to ignore him , and only talk if he says something to me. Or only if were in group convos akd he says something funny, or just to be more pissed because i cant take not being liked lol. I will call him out on it . And ” do i annoy you when i talk to you, you act real stand- offish and uninterested “. Lmao hehehe

Reply September 30, 2011, 12:06 pm

unknown user

I just officially started dating my boyfriend a month ago, but we were like getting to know each other going out having fun for 2 months. 2 weeks ago I found out that he cheated on me. I saw a picture of him kissing a girl , he got his friend to take it off. his friend did.. i made him beg for 3 days he apologize he told me he was drunk, but he had told a friend of mine he got carried away in the moment, we went out to eat and walk around and I brought the subject up and he said he wasn’t going to do it again i was like okay, well last week he changed his relationship status to single, at first i was surprise i thought i had said somenthing wrong maybe, he was like no babe you didnt do anything somenthing happen that’s why i had to change my relationship status then this girl commented on it and was like i totally like this and I got mad i went off on him and told him that if i find out he is cheating on me again i was going to find the Btch and fight her LOL , i got carried away in the moment i guess. getting to the point i broke up with him and he said quit getting jelous, im fed up with it. i told him he gave me reasons to think he was talking to some other girl he was like Ima go bye i was like fine bye he said i dont beg so its up too you i was like neither do I, then he tryed to talk too me after he said bye i blew him off . our anniversary was the after i was really sad i went to visit my cousin 4 hrs away from where i live. when i got back on facebook he was like are you still mad and he told my cousin he still loved me and everything we got back together. well the next day he didnt talk too me at all he didnt even say happy anniversary he said happy anniversary 2 days later. i told him to come to my house so we can hang out and he said no i cant im getting my hair cut. then i was ok how about tomorrow and he said okay. he said but ima go now i was like awwh okay bye i love you he didnt reply too it. he actually didnt logg off til 10 minutes after it.
can someone give me an advice????????

Reply September 20, 2011, 11:57 am

Anonymous - girl

Ditch him. Permanently. *Nobody* deserves being treated like that. Tell him to shove it. He wouldn’t hurt you like that if genuinely liked you. Let me know what happens, okay?

Reply September 27, 2011, 11:54 am

Anonymous - girl

It’s funny, a guy in my class used to ignore me, but now listens avidly to every word that I say. And before he used to have a massive ego, until he discovered that he wasn’t the only top student in the class, since I started kicking his butt into the ground, and now his ego is really deflated. If he hadn’t had treated me like s*** for the past few months, the charming side of his personality would’ve won me over…as he’s trying to do now in order for me to share my notes, but since I know full well his true personality i.e. a using bastard, it’s really pathetic. Everyone in my class can see it…except for him XD. So yes, I agree with point 10, if he ignores you for months, then suddenly acts all friendly, ask Why. And learn to trust your gut instinct…mine told me for months what he’s truly like, and I’m all the better for it.

Reply September 18, 2011, 9:04 am

Eric Charles

Haha… what a jerk.

Reply September 18, 2011, 9:42 am

Anonymous - girl

lol I know. XD

Reply September 27, 2011, 11:50 am

Hollie

lol!

Reply October 25, 2011, 3:52 am

shilo

Confused! I met a guy through work. He repairs our large equipment. We have talked on the phone alot. It always starts off about work then rolls into a personal conversation. He some
times flirts and i flirt back. There are times though when he is in total “work mode” then he treats me like everyone else. I found out he lives on my street. He has stopped by several times regarding work and once just because i needed his help. I have two kids and am recently divorced. He has never even been married & is a few years you
nger than me. I cant figure out #1 if he likes me & #2 y hasnt he asked me out. Please advise.

Reply September 1, 2011, 10:26 pm

Chrissy

Hello,
I am in a similar situation, Can you e-mail once you get this and I will tell you all about it?
Thanks!
Chrissy

Reply November 21, 2011, 7:31 pm

Mandy

There is this guy i really like at my school, but I’m not sure if he likes me. I laugh at his jokes all the time. I don’t talk to him much at all. I don’t have very many friends because I’m not a big talker. He is the clown of the class. Once i gave my writing utensil to my teacher instead of my pop quiz paper, and i heard him start to laugh and so did I, but I’m not sure if he was laughing at the same thing. He sometimes glances over at me at lunch time for about 3 seconds and then I catch him staring at me and a few seconds later he turns his head the other way and starts talking to his friends. He doesn’t talk to me much at all, but when he accidentally bumps me with his backpack he says, “Sorry.” He talks alot to this other girl in my class that has blond hair and blue eyes. She is a tomboy and is really smart. She is one of the best looking girls in my class. She is kind of the type of person that has the personallity of “look at me, I’m the best, and no one is better than me.” The guy i like likes her and she likes him i think. Even though I’m smarter and younger than her, people look down on me more than they do this girl. I’m not sure to do about the boy i like. Should i ignore him totally or make him like me? If i try to make him like me, how should i do it?

Reply July 11, 2011, 10:49 am

Anonymous Female

My advice? Get yourself a brand new outfit and make yourself feel good about yourself. It seems like you have some hatred towards this other girl who didn’t do anything to you from what it sounds like. Then, after your make over, ignore him! Trust me! If he DOES like you this will make him like you more. He will be so confused as to why you aren’t giving him the time of day. Now, when I say ignore him, I don’t mean be rude. Say he asks you to do something, as HARD as it’s going to be to do, tell him you can’t because you already have plans but maybe another time. It will work if he likes you. If it doesn’t work? He wasn’t interested in you for the right reasons honey. Any guy that generally likes you will put the time and effort into getting to know you and such. Good luck.

Reply November 20, 2011, 9:05 pm

Anonymous

There is this guy that I like and I think he is giving me signs that he likes me but it’s kind of confusing to really tell. When I am in the same room with him I always catch him staring at me. When I am near him he never talks to me and looks extremely nervous. Most of the time he will avoid me. He makes eye contact with his other friends but seems to have a hard time looking me in the eye. He has talked to me online alot but when we are face to face he won’t say a word. My girlfriends tell me I am intimidating to look at because I am pretty. Could this be why he doesnt talk to ms face to face because I am intimidating? And about the other things he does, what is up with his behavior? Please help.

Reply July 8, 2011, 3:00 pm

Wanda McCartney

I have been flirting with a married man for over 4 years and we finally met. He said he has a rocky marriage. We had sex and now he has withdrawn. I know this is wrong. He hooked me in and now I don’t know what to do …. i know I need to drop him like a hot potato,, but help

Reply July 8, 2011, 10:56 am

SEZ2011

I like this guy and i thought he felt the same way about me, it was great at the start and well really its only just been over a month and already things are drastically stating to change. He will take ages to reply to text, drink and start arguments and say nasty things, but apologize about it later and make sure he expresses how sorry he is, his phone will just miraculously be switched off the day he’s supposed to come over, i will analyze whether its something i may have said or done and always have a way of making excuses for him and someone always putting it back on myself thinking there was some way i could have done something different because im confused as to why these things happen because i never get any explanation. Which like i said leads me to make excuses for him and valid reasons he could have for his actions or just feeling like its me even thought it really isnt!?
I am so confused and torn and i love every minute i am with him when i actually get time to spend with him, but i think the feeling of all the in between times of seeing him and the what if’s and buts, are starting to over power my feelings and energy to really want to try and make this work.
I’m exhausted!

Reply June 26, 2011, 6:31 am

LilMizBreh

I don’t understand if this guy I am interested likes me or not, we used to text and he lives out of town and mind you I work 3 jobs, and don’t have much time, and he would drive in to visit watch a movie then drive me to my night shift job. We kiss, we hold hands (all this in my own home) never really had a chance to go out and do stuff during the day due to how busy I am and he is etc. But .. I have’nt received a text or message from him in 2 days, it honestly is driving me insane, because I usually am scared of commitment but this is different I WANT to date this guy he’s basically everything I could ever hope for charming, funny, independent, has a job, very stable mind, close to my age as well just a bit older then I am. He has said he missed me, but he never asks to hang out I am usually the one to ask and he would say OK, and now its (I am not sure if he is joking around or not but he would be like I’ll see if I can pencil you in, then I say :O and he says you know I am kidding.. but is he really?) Please help me wrap this outta my head.. Thanks…. I would appreciate it a lot.

Reply May 13, 2011, 9:54 pm

Juztine

GUYS HAVE WEIRD MINDS THEY CAN GO FROM LICKING ONE MINUITE TO NOT WANTING TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU THE BEST THING TO DO IS JUST TO KEEP TRYING AND MAYBE ASK HIM WHATS GOING ON ASK HIM IF HE IS SEEING OTHER GIRLS BECAUSE ONCE YOU’VE DONE THAT EVEN IF HE SAYS HE DOESNT HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU YOU WILL STILL FEEL BETTER BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHATS GOING ON AND YOU WON’T BE CONFUSED ANYMORE.
HOPE I HELPED
GOODLUCK
JUSTINE

Reply October 24, 2011, 5:29 am

Mishka Fishka

Hello, This is Mishka Fishka, i really like that post, you are doing a great job. Thanks.

Reply December 30, 2010, 1:32 am

Ash :))

Okay, I’m talking to my crush on facebook and he sending the one word message. What do I do about that?

Reply May 29, 2010, 11:20 pm

Ash :))

Okay,
How would I know that a guy is not interested in talking with me?

Reply May 29, 2010, 11:16 pm

Me

Someone on here please give me some kind of opinion. I don’t usually do this but this site came up n I thought I would see what kind of advice or opinion I get. I’ve been seeing this guy who I knew in high school we hit it off good and later I heard from a few of his friends that he had always kind of liked me but at that time I was with one of his friends. So things were going good the first month or so. We saw each other on the weekends when he would get off work and I would stay with him and a few times here and there he would stay at my house in the middle of the week but I didn’t think it was overdoing it. I did blow his phone up at first I wouldnt txt him unless he texted me I started to give a little more and txt him and ask how his day was. I asked him about a 2 months in if he felt that we were spending too much time together to get we’re we were at and he said that he had thought about that to and didn’t know if it was good or bad the amount of time we were seeing each other but he thought we weren’t so things went on as normal. So now we have been seeing each other for about three months and keep mind that he still had never made us official what ever that is. Basically I wasn’t quite being considered his gf. So a few nights ago he txts me at 1 in the morning saying u still up babe kinda want to talk to you and I said k call me and he said nothing so I called him and no answer so I said well when you ready to talk let me know. Never heard back so I waited it out for a day and a half n got antsey to know so I texted him asking how his day was and he said ok and I asked him what the 1 in the morning txt was all about n no response. So my gf asks me about it and asked if he invited me up to his house because her and her boyfriend are going up there and I told her no he never asked me. So early this morning before he goes to work I texted him saying that the person I thought that I knew would be an adult n just say if he was not interested n that if I did something that bothered you let me know n that he can’t blame me for wondering because he kinda three me a 180. So he txt me back saying that he’s sorry that I feel that way he just was giving some seperation for us for the better to slow it down. What the hell. Please I’m a grown women I shouldn’t have to be some mind reader. So I told him that’s all u had to say n I brought that up to u before and I don’t know what your thinking if you don’t say anything so be strait forward. So I figure it’s done right?

Reply March 10, 2012, 9:11 am

Arianna

I like this guy, and we are really close family friends, but he is a couple years older than me. I am 15 and he is 18. He really seems like he likes me, and he shows all the “signs”, but he has a girlfriend… he touches me a lot, makes physical contact, and even holds eye contact for more than 5 seconds. He always seems to want to be by me. How do i know if he likes me?

Reply May 26, 2010, 8:42 pm

EM

i met a guy few months ago, i really really like him cant control the way i feel around him, hes got a different type but we’ve got pretty close recently and i got mixed emotions and feelings, he thought i liked him before but i lied and said only as a friend, im scared if i would tell him the truth we might not be tight no more and he may see me as a lair and the funny think i found out he liked a girl and have been trying to hook them up just to prove to everyone that i dont fancy him, which would make me look like an idiot, what do to do ??

Reply March 18, 2013, 10:48 pm

michael

true!

Reply May 16, 2010, 9:53 pm

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