Why Men Fall in Love: The Real Reasons post image

It’s easy to know what makes a man fall in lust. It’s also not hard to know what makes a guy like a girl. But what makes a man fall in love?

That seems to be the elusive million dollar question. But … it’s not so elusive.

Love doesn’t grow from a checklist for most men. In fact, it’s not always something he can explain or describe. Most men don’t go out seeking love or commitment, it just kind of happens and envelopes them and all of a sudden he realizes he’s in love with an amazing woman, a woman he wants to commit himself to for the long haul.

MORE: These Are the Undeniable Signs He’s In Love With You

Studies have found that men often fall in love faster than women.  Men usually know right away. Women are the ones who get stuck in their own heads analyzing endlessly … until she finally figures out where she stands.

Women can’t always see it clearly because women typically have a goal from the start, the goal being to get a commitment and have that rare, once in a lifetime, loving relationship.

But what causes men to fall in love with a woman? What makes one woman special and unique? Read on to find out.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Exactly How to Text Your Crush to Start a Conversation post image

Having to navigate the waters of romantic texting is a relatively new predicament. Our grandparents may have occasionally dabbled in poetic letters, but that can’t quite compare to the unique set of challenges that come along with texts.

In some ways, it seems less intimidating to text a guy than to communicate in person. You have more time to think of sharp, witty things to say. If he says something you totally don’t understand, you can consult with your friends before giving an answer. You don’t have to be hyper-aware of your body language, or of reading his.

MORE: The Biggest Signs He Doesn’t Like You

But a lot of the time, texting just makes it harder. Those pesky body language cues are massively helpful – not only for understanding his intentions, but also for making yours known. Humor is harder to portray over text. Worst of all, if you say something dumb, it’s forever in writing. You get to stare at it in panic as you wait an excruciatingly long time for him to text back.

Here are some guidelines to help you text your crush to get the conversation going:

[Click here to keep reading…]

12 Definite Signs Your Partner is in Love With You post image

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

Anyone who’s been in love can relate to that flicker (or tidal wave) of panic at the idea of being the first one in the relationship to say it. You know, those three powerful words. You’ve heard them said out loud so many times that they almost lose their meaning. So why are they abruptly terrifying when you try to make your own mouth utter them to a special someone for the first time?

MORE: The Biggest Signs He’s in Love With You

Loving is the most vulnerable thing we do. For something that happens to everyone, it’s surprisingly unique to each person experiencing it. You feel like you’re charting undiscovered territory as you navigate falling in love. Once you feel it, you get the urge to scream it from the rooftops. At the same time, if you haven’t said it to your person yet, even whispering the words seems a task far too daunting for a mere mortal.

To summon the courage to admit your feelings, observe your partner. There are tangible signs that a man is in love if you look for them.

[Click here to keep reading…]

25 Proven Signs You’re In Love post image

“I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”
Love is strange and mysterious: it can happen in the blink of an eye before we know what hit us, or it can envelop us slowly.
Because it’s not always the same for everyone, a lot of people don’t understand what love truly is. They mistake infatuation and obsession with true love because they can feel the same sometimes. The problem is that when you confuse infatuation with real love, it can mean getting overly invested when you shouldn’t, or spending too much time with the wrong person.

Why would you mix up infatuation with true love? It’s not always easy to tell the difference. Fears and insecurities can get in the way and cloud your judgment. If you’re busy worrying that he doesn’t love you back, or that he’ll never commit, or that he’s going to leave you, you’ll be in your head so much it will be impossible to be in your heart.

MORE: 11 Undeniable Signs He’s In Love With You

Even if you’re not feeling insecure, both infatuation and love cause chemical reactions in us that change the way we think and behave, and that can also cloud our judgment.

Some people say, “you just know,” but that simply isn’t always the case. Sometimes it helps to think it through and know the concrete signs that it’s more than infatuation. If you’re wondering if it could be love, look for these indicators.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Exactly How to Know If a Guy Likes You FOR SURE post image

“Does he like me?” is by far the most oft-asked question amongst girls in the dating world.

They discuss with their girlfriends, they read articles about what “signs” to look for, they analyze every interaction, every text, every facial expression, all in the hopes of finding that elusive answer.

The sad fact is, this is a huge waste of time and energy because deciphering whether or not a guy likes you is incredibly simple. In fact, I can sum up this article in one sentence: when a guy likes you, it’s obvious!

Every day, on Facebook, in the comments section, in the forum, in my inbox … day in and day out I hear variations of the same question: Does he like me? How does he feel about me? Is he committed to me?

And really, when you get to the heart of it, if you have to ask … you already have your answer.

It really is as simple as that, but I know people love to look at signs, because that just makes it more tangible and easier to see. So I will give you a list of signs that a guy likes you, and then we’ll go a little deeper and talk about the number one thing to look for, the thing that matters more than anything, as well as why women get so confused by these situations. We’ll also look at ways we set ourselves up for heartbreak. Let’s begin.

[Click here to keep reading…]

35 Beautiful Romantic Ways to Say ‘I Love You’ post image

Communication is key in a relationship. And nothing keeps a bond eternally strong like communicating how much you love your partner. Saying “I love you” is an obvious way to go, but that can get flat and stale over time, especially if it just becomes a part of your routine and “I love you” is just another way of saying hi and bye.

Saying “I love you” isn’t the only way to communicate that you love someone. And sometimes, stepping outside of convention and thinking of something new conveys even more love, appreciation, and positive regard.

Making a point to consistently affirm your love and affection for your partner is what will keep your relationship strong and happy. It’s all too easy to just settle into complacency in a relationship, but that’s what causes relationships to wither and die. You need to look at your relationship almost like a plant, it needs to be watered and tended to in order to grow and thrive. The way to nourish your relationship is to express your love and admiration. (Make sure to also read this article on questions to ask a guy to reach a whole new level of depth and connection in your relationship.)

And with that, let’s look at 35 beautifully romantic and unique ways to say ‘I love you.” You can go old school and write them as a note, be new age and text them, or say them out loud while looking your partner in the eye. No matter what, these are guaranteed to convey your deep and profound love.

[Click here to keep reading…]

225+ Amazing Questions to Ask a Guy: The Ultimate List post image

Breaking the ice with a guy you like can sometimes be challenging. It can also be tough to break past the typical flirty banter and really get to know each other.

I don’t know about you, but nothing is more painful to me (in a not physical pain sort of way) than awkward silences, especially on a date. And talking about the same old things can get tedious.

I started keeping a list of cool and interesting questions to ask a guy a while ago in an attempt to avoid awkward silences and generic conversation. Early on when I started dating my husband, we had a “questions” date night and it really brought us closer and helped us discover things about each other, and ourselves.

And this is something important to keep in mind about conversation in general.  Conversations aren’t meant to impress another person, but to discover them. Most people don’t take this approach and that’s why dating can feel so stressful and overwhelming. You can’t just be, instead you try to be what you think the other person wants. The best approach is to go in without an image of them, and without wanting to seem a certain way in their eyes. It’s to see them as a blank pice of paper and see how they fill in the blanks.

MORE: 20 Questions to Ask a Guy to Get Closer

And with that, here is my ultimate list of questions to ask a guy to bond, connect, and just have a laugh! Some are silly and lighthearted, others are deep and serious and will really force him to step out from behind the mask and share his true self… and that is what creates a connection and real intimacy.

I gave a little bit of explanation for the first 50 questions, just to show you why they are such good questions to ask and what they will reveal about a person. For the remainder, I just listed everything out.

All of these questions will open the gates to a deeper connection and bond, something so many people struggle with in this day and age. So enjoy the list, jot down your favorites, and have fun going through them with a guy you like.

[Click here to keep reading…]

15 Undeniable Signs You’re Not Over Your Ex post image

The end of a relationship can stir up a variety of emotions, doubts, and fears. It can have us question our ability to find love again or even our worthiness of love in the first place.

That’s why it can be so hard to let go. We fear that the relationship we had was our one shot at true love. So, we over-analyze things. We put our ex on a pedestal. And sometimes, we hold onto “what-ifs” as an escape from the reality of what’s in front of us. I know; I’ve been there.

The truth is, the only way to get the relationship you want is to let go of the past; put down the shoulda…coulda…wouldas and trust that you have everything you need to generate love in your life in a powerful way. You can only do this, however, if you are willing to drop the stories you’ve created about how things should have happened and open yourself to the possibility of what could be next.

MORE: Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You (Even If He Says He Doesn’t)

The most important thing is to be honest with yourself first. Are you ready to move on or are you still holding onto something you no longer have? After my last relationship, this was one of the hardest questions for me to answer because I knew I had to face the fact that things were over, and it was time to move on. And fortunately, that realization was exactly what ushered new love into my life.

In order to have the relationship you desire, you must make room in your heart to receive it. When you’re filled up with thoughts, wishes, and fantasies about your last relationship, there’s little space for new love to enter.

If you are not sure if you are still hung up on your ex or if you’re ready to move on, these next 15 signs will definitely help you get clarity.

[Click here to keep reading…]

5 Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You (Even If He Says He Doesn’t) post image

“The hottest love has the coldest end.” -Socrates.

Breakups are never easy. In fact, knowing you might never hold the person you love again is one of the hardest things a person can do.

After a breakup, you might feel helpless and scared he’s gone forever. You may have realized you made a big mistake or wish you’d done things differently and could rewind the clock to have another chance with him.

As for him? His post-breakup behavior might be confusing. For example, on the one hand, he texts and calls you telling you how much he misses you… and on the other hand, he ignores you and purposefully posts pictures of himself with another woman on social media knowing you will see it. Or he blocks you on Facebook and then sends you an emotional text while he’s drunk one night.

You might ask yourself: “Does he still have feelings for me or not? I just want to know!”

I am going to give you the “hidden” signs that your ex does still have feelings for you.

In addition to giving you the signs, I’m going to give you tips underneath each sign so that you can have the best chance of getting him back (if this is what you want).

[Click here to keep reading…]

Why the Guys You Want Don’t Want You post image

One of the most frustrating and puzzling relationship issues is determining why the guys you want don’t seem to want you.

A lot of our readers are in these types of situations; that’s probably what led them to A New Mode to begin with. They are involved with a guy who just doesn’t seem to be as interested. He’s into it, he’s attracted, he likes hanging out with her, but he’s not quite there. She, on the other hand, has gone all in and the fact that he isn’t at the same point leaves her with a constant feeling of unease just beneath the surface.

If you have been in several situations like this, you might start to wonder if it’s you, if you’re doing something wrong. But then how can that be when all these other guys, the ones you don’t want, are desperate to date you? Why is it that the commitment and the proclamations of love and devotion only seem to come from the guys you don’t want and not the ones you do?

[Click here to keep reading…]

Link Love post image

Link Love


10 Ways to Know You’re Dating a Keeper – Em & Lo 

5 Small Things That Will Bring Big Happiness to your Life – Your Tango 

8 Questions You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask Your Gyno – Her Campus

5 Relationship Resolutions That Will Bring You Love in 2016 – Elite Daily 

Why Good People Ghost: The Rise of a Dishonest Dating Culture – Thought Catalog 

8 Basic Rules for a New Relationship post image

A new relationship can be as exhilarating as it is terrifying. You finally found that guy you click with, someone you really enjoy spending time with who seems to really like you … and you’re terrified of screwing it up, of making some deadly mistake that will end things before they even start.

It’s so sad to see how many women can’t even enjoy being in a new relationship because they’re so worried about ruining it. I get e-mails every day from women all over the world begging to know the secret formula for how to behave so they don’t scare their new guy away. The levels of worry are so high you would think they’re dating a baby mouse rather than a full-grown man!

[Click here to keep reading…]

11 Undeniable Signs He’s In Love With You post image

He loves me … he loves me not … if only finding the answer were as simple as plucking petals off a flower. So what makes it so hard to determine if a man truly loves you?

A lot of us have ideas about what love should be, what it should look like, and how it should feel. A lot of the time these ideas are plain wrong (we can thank romantic comedies for that). Because of that, some of us might not recognize the real thing when it comes our way. Maybe it’s because of these grand visions of love that have been implanted in our minds, but it could also be the result of being burned too many times in the past and having walls up when it comes to either giving love or being able to receive it.

The point is, love is a tricky thing. A guy can say he loves you and not truly mean it, and a guy can love you a lot but not be ready to say it.

Love, as beautiful as it is, can also be scary, and a lot of us keep our guard up until we’re sure he feels a certain way in order to keep from getting hurt. As the saying goes, before you fall in love, make sure there is someone there to catch you. The trouble with this is that when you get caught up in trying to figure out if a man loves you, you can no longer be present in the relationship. Instead of connecting, you are stuck in your own worried thoughts, and those thoughts produce fears and insecurities that ultimately block you from getting the love you want.

So how do you know if a man is truly in love with you? If he shows these 11 signs, then it’s pretty safe to say he is.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Links We Love post image

Links We Love


Tinder is Tearing Society Apart – NY Post 

8 Ways Your Relationship Goals Change in Your 30s Versus Your 20s – Your Tango

Dating Women is More Fun Than Dating Men – Em & Lo

10 Funny & Serious Things to Do After a Breakup –Her Campus

Why Taking Your Relationship to the “Next Step” Isn’t a Way to Save It- Elite Daily

The Truth About Calories – Refinery29

Exes With “Frienefits”: Is It Possible to Be Friends With an Ex? post image

Everyone in the world has an ex. At least, everyone in America in their mid-twenties does. Exes are a tricky topic of conversation, always. Some people have exes they hate, some have exes they still love, and some have exes that they have somehow managed to keep around as a friend without any complicated emotional ties, lingering doubts, and regrets from the past.

Let’s talk about those people, the ones who seem to have mastered an impossible form of coexistence with a former flame. They are exes with the benefit of being friends, so, “exes with frienefits”? Let’s go with that.

[Click here to keep reading…]

10 Signs He’s Husband Material post image

A lot of women write to us begging to understand why their relationships always fail… why guys treat them badly…why they always get hurt…why they can’t get a guy to commit. The common thread in most of these cases is these women are choosing men who clearly are not husband–or even relationship– material and hoping by some chance he’ll suddenly transform and be the knight in shining armor she wants. This type of situation doesn’t exist anywhere aside from cheesy romantic comedies. If you choose to pursue a relationship with a guy who clearly isn’t relationship material, then you’re setting yourself up to fail before you even begin.

Trust me, I know all too well how enticing those damage cases can be. Sure, he’s has emotional issues, he’s jaded, he’s struggling at work, he has no direction, he still acts like a frat boy even though his acting like a drunk idiot and getting away with it days expired years ago, but there’s a really great guy underneath all that and as soon as we deal with all this other stuff, then we’ll have an amazing relationship. I’m sorry but no.
[Click here to keep reading…]

Relationship Reality Check: 5 Harsh Truths About Being in a Relationship post image

When you’re single, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everything will be perfect when you find the right guy. I’ll admit that I was once guilty of this line of thinking. It can seem like a relationship is that one missing piece and once you have it, you will finally have it all. Then maybe you meet a guy, you click, you start dating, and all seems to be running smoothly until certain unpleasant realities of being in a relationship start to creep in, either slowly and by degrees or quickly and all at once.

Relationships take work; there is no way around that. You can be totally perfect for one another, you can love each other like crazy, you can be wildly attracted to one another, you can even be soul mates, and you will still have to work at it. When you’re in a relationship, it isn’t just about you anymore. Your choices, your actions, your behavior, your tone of voice, your mood, and so forth all affect someone else (and vice versa). A relationship is a partnership, and having a partner is amazing in many ways, but it also means there is someone else in the picture who matters. And like you, he also comes with a fair amount of baggage, issues, unresolved pain from the past, etc.

When a relationship starts to get real, it can be confusing and overwhelming. You may wonder if you’ve made a mistake, if maybe this isn’t the right relationship. You may feel wronged because this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.  All relationships will hit points where you struggle, and actually, the struggles are a good thing. When handled right, they can make you even stronger as a couple. But when dealt with improperly, they can cause irreparable harm (to both you and the relationship).

Here are five not-so-fun facts you must face about being in a relationship:

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: Is His Reason for Not Wanting to Commit Real or Just an Excuse? post image

I have been seeing this guy for a little while now, it’s a long-distance relationship and we aren’t exclusive. When we’re together, he seems super into me.  He talks about me to his friends, engages in PDA, and compliments me all the time. He initiates every conversation, checks up on me if I don’t reply, makes plans in advance, clears his schedule for me, etc., and I know for a fact that he isn’t seeing or hooking up with anyone else. 

He tells me he misses me and that distance sucks because we can’t be together, but adds that we should keep our options open in the meantime. I tried ending it, but he begged me not to (although he also said he would understand if that’s what I truly wanted). In the end, we both decided to keep the lines of communication open.

I can’t wrap my head around the fact that he says he genuinely likes me but still wants to play the field when I’m not around and doesn’t mind if another guy snatches me up. Is distance a legitimate reason not to commit, or is he just not that into me?

[Click here to keep reading…]

Thinking About Getting Back Together With Your Ex? 10 Things to Consider First post image

After my ex-husband and I divorced, I dated a lot. You could say I was sowing my wild oats, or the twenties I didn’t have a chance to experience. I had missed out on figuring out who I was, but also figuring out what I wanted in a partner. So, suddenly single in my mid-thirties, I had a lot of learning to do. I had two boyfriends during those six years of healing, and a few quasi-relationships in between. That time was strewn with breakups – some of which stuck, and some which did not. There were a multitude of reasons why this happened.

So if you’re nursing your breakup wounds and contemplating getting back together with your ex, before you do, make sure you’re not doing it for any of these ten reasons:

[Click here to keep reading…]

The Real Reason Men Cheat post image

The Real Reason Men Cheat


Being cheated on is one of the most painful, shattering experiences, one that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. I unfortunately know first hand how brutal it is. You feel betrayed, your trust is destroyed, your self-esteem is ravaged, and you can’t stop questioning what you did wrong and what signs you must have missed.

The one thing I wish I had realized a decade ago, when the guy I considered to be the love of my life cheated on me, is that it really had nothing to do with me, it was the result of his own internal issues. And that’s how it usually goes. The reason I was so confused back then is I didn’t have an understanding of the male psyche, and I didn’t know the internal psychological factors that cause men to cheat.

I am not saying there is an excuse why he did it, but there is a reason. And knowing the reason can be therapeutic in a way. So here is the real reason why men cheat:

[Click here to keep reading…]

Five Tips for Getting through Valentine’s Day When You Don’t Have a Valentine post image

Just when you feel like you survived being single through the holiday season, Valentine’s Day shows up. Hearing peers and colleagues speak about their Valentine’s Day plans and being asked about your own can trigger all sorts of feelings. For some, it can feel like February 14th is Prom Night for grown-ups, and there you are without a date. Sure, you’re looking better now than you did back in your high school days of awkward braces and shoulder pads, but adolescence doesn’t have a monopoly on the experience of feeling inadequate and excluded.

In the movies the leading lady ends up with a prom date at the last minute (and somehow has the perfect dress and a gorgeous updo done in minutes, but I digress), but hoping for that fantasy to be your reality may set you up for disappointment. So here are some helpful tips for getting through Valentine’s Day…sans Ben & Jerry’s.

[Click here to keep reading…]

“It Doesn’t Mean I’m Lonely When I’m Alone” post image

alone: adjective \?-?l?n\: without anyone or anything else: not involving or including anyone or anything else: separate from other people or things

lone·ly: adjective \?l?n-l?\: sad from being apart from other people: causing sad feelings that come from being apart from other people: not visited by or traveled on by many people

The other day, I was standing in line at Starbucks (I know, I should really just make my own, it’s way cheaper) and I observed a phenomenon you’ve probably seen, too.

All of the tables were occupied by solo patrons sipping their drinks, staring at their laptops and phones, gently nodding to the music being transmitted through bulky headphones. I got my drink and did the necessary hula-hoop walk as I navigated through the sea of tables to find a place to sit. I passed each table, looking for one that seemed relatively welcoming for the silent blind date I was about to initiate, and ended up sitting down with a lovely chap who made room for me at “his” table for two, and we both did our own thing.

As I sat there working, I couldn’t help but notice that many of the patrons around me were engrossed in some type of social media. It was an ironic picture; a room full of people, no one talking to each other, all focused on creating community through a glass screen.  Seeing this picture of everyone looking down at their gadgets, smiling at a device that can’t smile back, it got me thinking about relationships and the nuances between being alone and being lonely.

As noted in the above definitions of “alone” and “lonely,” the difference does not solely rest in physical circumstances. In other words, it’s not about what is happening around you, it’s about what’s happening inside of you.

You can be standing in a room full of people—even people who really love and care about you—and still feel lonely. Conversely, you can be alone on a hike and feel absolutely amazing. [Click here to keep reading…]

Can You Predict When a Guy is Going to Bail? post image

Can you isolate the exact moment on a date or in a relationship when you know–perhaps on a subconscious level–that it’s not going to work out? That the guy is going to vanish into thin air, in a not-so-magical swirl of dust? I call it the moment of “imminent poof.”

The signs are always there for the taking. So why do we ignore them?  Does our desire to convey that we are “open” and easygoing, or to be in a relationship, blind us from listening to our gut?

[Click here to keep reading…]

30 Lessons Learned On Life & Love in 30 Years post image

I’ll admit I’ve been afraid of turning 30 pretty much since I turned 22. With every passing year, I’ve felt a tug of fear over being that much closer. Now that I’ve arrived at what I long considered a dreaded destination, I must say….it’s actually pretty amazing. Like most people, my 20’s were replete with bad choices, too many shots, too little sleep, too much worry, valuable life lessons, ignoring of said lessons, repeating the same mistakes, self-doubt interspersed with feeling on top of the world, financial sloppiness, emotional sloppiness, waiting for it all to fall perfectly into place, and grappling with the painful realization that the real world isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. But now that my days as a 20-something are up, I can’t help but feel grateful, and—dare I say—empowered over how far I’ve come.

Every year on my birthday I like to reflect on lessons learned, defining moments, and whether I’m moving forward or standing still. Since so much of what I write is informed by my experiences, I could think of no better way to say goodbye to my tumultuous 20’s and usher in my (hopefully!) thriving 30’s than with the 30 best lessons I’ve learned on life and love.

Here they are (in no particular order):

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ladies: These Are the 10 Things Your Man Really Wants From You post image

While every guy has his quirks and preferences, when it comes down to it we aren’t that complicated. When we’re in a relationship, what we really want is respect, appreciation, admiration, and love.

Problems persist in relationships because guys have different ways of expressing these desires than women do. So how can a girl ensure she’s giving her guy what he needs so he’ll stick around for the long term?

Here’s a list of ten actions every woman needs to take in order to make sure her beau stays crazy about her.

[Click here to keep reading…]

What No One Tells You About Good Relationships post image

A lot of us have grand ideas of what a “good relationship” with the “right man” looks like. If you’re single, you use this vision as fuel to keep you going through the lonely nights and bad dates, telling yourself that one day all the pain will be worth it, that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel and he will be everything you’ve ever wanted and make you happier than you ever thought possible. If you’re in a relationship, you question if you should stay when things get rocky or problems arise. These doubts make you wonder whether he really is the man for you because aren’t you supposed to “just know” when the right one comes along? And if that is the case, then are these moments of uncertainty a sign that it’s not right?

It’s no secret that our society idealizes love. Starting at early childhood, we get inundated with idealized portrayals of eternal love. From Disney movies to Nicholas Sparks novels, we develop expectations of what love should be, how it should feel, what it should look like…and we feel disappointed when reality doesn’t quite align with that vision.

Here’s the thing that no one really tells you: good relationships don’t always feel all that good…but it’s not for the same reason bad relationships don’t feel good.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: When Can I Ask About His Past Relationships? post image

I dated a guy for two months and everything seemed perfect until he told me that his last relationship was three months ago. That relationship was a year long, so when he started seeing me they had only been broken up a month. Once that was out in the open he started distancing himself and I eventually broke it off because I was over the inconsistency.

I typically don’t like bringing up the past. I feel like the past should be left alone. But after my last experience I think it’s an important thing to know so that I don’t put myself at risk and end up the rebound girl.

So when you should ask a guy when his last relationship/serious dating/fling was? And how can you do it without it coming off in a negative way?

[Click here to keep reading…]

Giving Thanks: How Gratitude Can Save Your Relationship post image

One of the first life lessons little kids are taught is to always say, “thank you.” When someone does something nice for you, you thank them. It’s a concept that is drummed into our heads starting at the age of about two. But you’ll notice that saying thanks doesn’t come easy. Very rarely does a kid remember to say it – it usually follows a prompt by a parent…now what do you say? And it never gets easier.

Gratitude doesn’t come easily or naturally to most of us; rather, it’s a skill that needs to be honed and crafted. But when you get it down, it can literally change your life. Countless studies have demonstrated that expressing gratitude can vastly increase our physical and emotional well-being.

Gratitude can also have enormous implications for your relationship…and your ability to find love if you aren’t currently in a relationship. When both partners see the good in one another and feel appreciative, the relationship is filled with love, connection, and harmony. When both partners focus on what the other isn’t doing and take each other for granted, the relationship is filled with resentment, frustration, and bitterness.

The truth is, a good relationship starts with you. When you bring positivity and happiness into the relationship, your partner will rise up to match and then your relationship will flourish. I’m not saying the responsibility is on the woman – it goes both ways. But the only person you can control is yourself.

If you want your life and your relationship to improve, you can’t blame circumstances or your partner. Instead, you need to take responsibility and make internal changes that lead to external ones. And the most important lesson is that of giving thanks.

Read on to find out how it’s done and why it’s so important.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Guy Confession: Why I Cheated post image

Boston University. 2009. Fall. I am a senior and have about four credits worth of actual classes and 26 credits of drinking and partying. But then the worst thing possible occurs: I fall in love.

And I mean IN LOVE! Can’t eat, walk differently, wanna start volunteering in love. She was quite perfect in my eyes and she thought very highly of me as well. It was a relationship based on giving to each other as much as possible, and it doesn’t get much better than that.

The relationship was amazing and intense, but also very new. After a month of bliss I wanted to tell her I loved her. And that brings us to the night when I lost my mind, and nearly my college sweetheart…

[Click here to keep reading…]

How to Stop Stressing When It Comes to Dating & Relationships post image

In my article on why guys suddenly lose interest, I discussed how caring too much or stressing over your relationship can irreparably damage it. The article sparked an avalanche of e-mails and comments from women who were feeling panicked over the state of their relationship. Most understood the point I was making in the article, but rather than relaxing and just going with the flow, they wanted to know: “How can I fix it if I was stressing too much?” “What should I text him to fix the situation?” “Is it OK if I tell him XYZ?” “Is he gone forever?” “How can I get him back?” OK, full stop. This is exactly the problem Eric and I have been addressing at length, not only on the site, but also in the newsletter and on our Facebook accounts.

But I realized that identifying the problem is only half the battle. The next step is to get to the root of it and figure out how to solve it.

When you eliminate the care (or worry or stress or whatever you want to call it), you are free to really be in the relationship. You can see the other person for who he is and you can give yourself to him freely – no strategy, no game-playing, no manipulation. You won’t feel a need to control anything. You can just be and there is no greater feeling than that.

But how do we do it? How do we stop our minds from spinning into overdrive, sending out waves of unpleasant thoughts and alarm bells?

Read on to find out!

[Click here to keep reading…]

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