He Wants an "ORGANIC" Relationship?!

Home Forums Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals He Wants an "ORGANIC" Relationship?!

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  • #797168 Reply

    So, my guy friend and I care about each other deeply. lately I have been kind of pushing his feelings and this is what he said… ” I cant define my feelings, but it’s strong and it scares me” If I talk to you or are around you too much, they intensify, if I push you away, they are still there but out of sight out of mind”. Then basically at the end of our conversation, he just said I feel like our conversations are forced and I just want it to be organic. So what does that mean? Is he pushing me away like he thinks is easier? Or does it sound as if he still wants a relationship? Im so confused!

    #797172 Reply

    If you can learn one thing from here is that you cant push a mam into feeling it for you. A man fully wanting to commit to you doesnt need nudges, talks etc. It will be clear to you. This guy is not on the commited side. Leave him alone and move on

    #797178 Reply

    I 2nd what Newbie is saying.

    Also, what he means is he doesn’t want you to have to bring up these conversations. He wants them to happen organically, meaning no pressure. This also means he doesn’t want anything with you because he’s not bringing up the conversation about you two on his own.

    You need to back off and let him go.

    #797211 Reply

    When he says your conversations are forced and he’d prefer things to be organic he is saying STOP HASSLING ME very loudly and clearly. He does not want to have these conversations with you. He basically is not interested and has tried to tell you this. I’m not sure what you are confused by really.

    Please drop this with him asap

    #797241 Reply

    Organic, like a potato?

    #797336 Reply

    Long story short, he’s not interested in a relationship. He thinks he might develop those feelings at some point if things go as they are, but based on a few telling things you’ve mentioned I’d put my money on that never happening.

    By the way, “I just want it to be organic” means wanting the rship to _develop_ organically. Not an organic rship. But in your case it’s strange for him to use the word when y’all are already friends. Alas, that’s a sign he’s sugarcoating and letting you down easy

    #797481 Reply

    I agree with Anderson, in that, a proper relationship starts out “organically” where each can freely, without any pressure, allow their feelings to develop naturally.

    For instance, my (now ex) husband fell in love with me long before I was able to develop those feelings for him. The thing is, he didn’t pressure me, didn’t force me, and I was able to come to it on my own. Some get feelings faster, some slower but they have to come organically where the person can honestly look at the other and say “I love this person.” If they cannot, then they will not, and it sounds like this guy is sick and tired of you pressuring him into something he doesn’t feel, because trust me on this, a man falls in love in your ABSENCE so if he was falling in love, his feelings would be much stronger when you are not near him and when you are!

    He is not going to love you organically or he wouldn’t be able to get you out of his mind, and be driven to spend time with you because he can’t stand being away from you for too long. Leave the guy alone, and if for some miracle he gets there only then can you move forward but for now, you are pushing him away more than pulling him closer to you by constantly talking about it or bringing it up.

    #940400 Reply

    I’m going thru the same… Been in a relationship for almost a year with a short pause in between. Spend all weekends together, family events always together, key to his house, vacations, blah blah blah… I know he cares for me but when we had this discussion, he said that he wants to “Love” me organically. He has made many bad choices in the past and hung onto his ex for 9 years and was madly in love with her (in love with their past / sweethearts in high school 40 years ago and rekindled several years ago). Is he scared of a healthy relationship? We even make “future” references (very loosely i might add).

    #940403 Reply

    When it comes to men. Pay attention to actions and words. Both should match. When they don’t, pay attention to the less committed one.

    #940404 Reply

    Who cares if he is scared? You are not his mother. After a year he mentions the future loosely. Not good enough

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