Ask a Guy: Signs a Guy Likes You post image

Ask a Guy: Signs a Guy Likes You

I’ve been getting mixed signals from a guy I work with.  He’s funny and nice to me… but he’s an easy guy to like.  He flirts with me, but I can’t tell if he’s just charming in general or if it’s because he’s attracted to me and interested…

I’d love to know what you’d consider the biggest, best, most clear signs a guy likes you… I just want to be sure whether or not he’s into me before get too excited…

OK, so clearly you like this guy, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking me for signs he likes you…

So let’s get the obvious, tell-tale signs out of the way because that’s what you came here for:

  • He finds excuses to talk with you
  • He speaks to you “differently” than he speaks to others
  • He tries to impress you (either subtly or not-so-subtly)
  • He compliments you with words like sexy or beautiful or hot or gorgeous or cute, etc.
  • He talks to you outside of the place where you met him in (outside of work or school, for example)
  • He jokes around with you and if he teases you, it’s the type of teasing that makes you laugh
  • He’s suggested you two hanging out or doing something together
  • He seems to watch you or stare at you

I could go on and on with a list, but what I’ve given you above captures the best, surefire signs he’s into you.

With that said, I don’t think a list of signs is the best information I could give you…

I say that because in many cases, women fall into the trap of what I call playing emotional detective.

The phrase “playing emotional detective” refers to when a woman obsesses over looking for signs and clues for how the man feels about her…

When she sees good signs, she’s elated.  When she doesn’t see good signs… or sees warning signs… she’s terrified.

As she rides the emotional roller coaster of good signs and bad signs, she becomes increasingly dependent on the guy acting a certain way or it will ruin her mood.

This is a trap for a few huge reasons:

  1. Most guys do a ton of stuff they’re not even thinking about… which the admiring woman interprets as some sign or secret message to decode.
  2. When a guy likes you, it’s obvious… Stop obsessing over details, men aren’t subtle.
  3. It’s way more powerful to assume he likes you than to walk on eggshells, constantly testing the waters to see if you measure up.

Here’s the deal…

I’ve sat around with dudes in my living room, at barbecues and pool parties.  These guys are telling raunchy jokes, talking about sports and openly scratching their balls in public.

It always amazes me when I hear women talking about signs and signals a man is sending them, as if they’re trying to decipher the Da Vinci Code.

Listen… that guy who you like is just a guy… he’s not a psychological mastermind… he’s more likely the guy who was just scratching his balls twenty minutes ago and laughing at “Family Guy.”

MORE: 5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Guys

Relax… stop obsessing… stop analyzing… stop making men complicated.

One of the biggest reasons that I loathe having conversations with women about the signs a guy is sending is because usually people (men and women) see what they want to see and project their own meanings and interpretations onto things.

I’ve studied psychology as my most devoted passion for the past 14.5 years… and I still can’t read people’s minds…

So I’m here to tell you that you can save yourself 14.5 years if you stop playing emotional detective and instead take on this far more effective strategy: ... (continued - Click to keep reading Ask a Guy: Signs a Guy Likes You)

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Thank you very much for the article. I think we women need to have more confidence and rely on facts. The man who deserves is the one who truly says no more looking. I’m here.

Reply November 30, 2014, 5:06 am

nsho chi

wonderful :-)!

Reply November 7, 2014, 4:44 pm

Suzel so True

“When she sees good signs, she’s elated. When she doesn’t see good signs… or sees warning signs… she’s terrified.”

I think you meant to say disappointed, not terrified!

Reply November 2, 2014, 9:57 pm


Okay well if the boy you like is standing in line
And his friends tuch him and point and me wat dose that mean

Reply October 5, 2014, 12:37 pm


There’s this boy named Connor and he likes my friends (I think) but in 2nd grade(I’m in 4th) I was teasing my friend about that she had a boyfriend and Connor said” so what u have one to” I said “who he ” he said “u”

Reply August 9, 2014, 4:51 pm


Great point. The world will not end if his one guy doesn’t have the hots for you! He’s still cool to be around and fun to hang with. So be cool. If he doesn’t want you that way, someone else will.

Reply July 7, 2014, 3:13 pm


That was brilliant! Especially the advice about assuming that the man I question already likes me. It helped calm me down whenever I was around my office crush last year. It restored my self-confidence & faith in my self-worth.

Reply January 12, 2014, 9:04 am


I think the compliments of ‘beautiful, gorgeous, sexy etc’ are cliched. Personally I’m over them, I’d rather a guy compliment aspects of my personality and for who I am.

I feel more appreciated and comforted in the thought that he likes me than any compliment on my appearance.

Reply October 22, 2013, 6:35 am


damn that was brilliant!!!!! I was doing the doing the exact thing you were talking about ” paying emotional detective ” . A guy has been (what I think ) is flirting with me, he does everything on the list you wrote except for actually asking me out, which is the reason why I am confused. so thank you very much for your blog, I am going to take your advice and see how the cards fall…..
thx again :)

Reply July 16, 2013, 1:13 pm


So I’m curious how did it turn out? I’m in the exact situation as u, this guy who flirts with me in office but never ask me out, and I don’t know whether he’s making jokes or really likes me…

Reply October 27, 2014, 12:16 am


Is he single?
If single, a little flirt is ok.
If he is not, demand respect.
don’t play the game

Reply November 5, 2014, 1:42 am


According to colleagues he has a girlfriend, but when I asked him if he has a gf, he never replies to my enquires. I hate all these gestures of him flirts with me in the office, but when we were in maybe the lift or pantry, we barely even talk…

Reply November 6, 2014, 8:55 am

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