This topic contains 23 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Kate 2 weeks, 3 days ago.
March 29, 2018 at 1:59 pm #694972
Today 12:12 AM
I have been seeing my girlfriend for about 10 months. At the start I took her out on two dates and then for a week or so she stopped texting me, then came back out of the blue. We went out on a third date and then progressed through to our current relationship. I just found out that after she met me she went out on a girls night out and met someone else. She went on several dates with him and ended up sleeping with him. She states this was a mistake, that she wishes it hadn’t happened. Our relationship was fine up until this discovery but this has upset me and caused me to think about whether we should continue even though I love her.March 29, 2018 at 2:09 pm #694977
Were you exclusive at the time? If not then she had the right to do as she wanted……if you were exclusive then she cheated and is not worth your time, find a more honest GF.March 29, 2018 at 2:09 pm #694978
How did you find out? Did she tell you or someone else told you? Did you two have sex before she slept with someone else?March 29, 2018 at 2:14 pm #694979
No we hadn’t slept together when she went off the radar for a couple of weeks. We weren’t exclusive I guess and I found out by seeing a pic of her on social media with this guy.March 29, 2018 at 2:29 pm #694982
I know this stings, but if you weren’t exclusive, had never had any kind of discussion about being in a relationship, and you hadn’t slept together yet, she didn’t do anything wrong.
In early dating, people often go out with a few people around the same time — sometimes this will progress to physical intimacy. You weren’t her boyfriend. She was single. she did absolutely nothing wrong.March 29, 2018 at 3:24 pm #694999
I think you should give her a pass on this one. You weren’t exclusive at the time and you weren’t intimate. It was just casual dating at the time. You weren’t in an established relationship like you are now. When I met my BF of almost 4 years now, he was dating someone else for about 2 weeks. He was up front about it and told me I could do the same. So we casually dated but realized within about 3 weeks we were awesome together so we both stopped dating others and became exclusive. You seemed to never have a conversation like this so I would not dwell on it. When you 1st start dating someone it’s not exclusive until you both agree to it. HOWEVER, I would have a conversation with her and let her know it bothers you but now that you are exclusive and in an established relationship you will not tolerate infidelity. Let her know where you stand and make sure she agrees with you. Once this is established if you both love each other you should be fine. Don’t let something like this ruin what you have and what could be the one. If she had done it last month I’d say run but this isn’t her cheating. This was just her casually dating until she found the man she wanted to be exclusive with. She obviously chose you! Congrats! Be happy about that and move forward.March 29, 2018 at 3:57 pm #695003
That is American style dating. It’s hard to wrap your head around it sometimes, but she didn’t really do anything “wrong”. Enjoy your relationship now and move on from the early dating.March 29, 2018 at 4:29 pm #695013
I think your title is inaccurate. You weren’t “dating” when she slept with someone else. You had only gone on 2 dates and hadn’t discussed being exclusive or not dating other people. She spent a couple weeks deciding whether or not she liked this other guy and in the end she picked you and here you are 10 months later. I know it hurts to think she was with another guy after you met her, but if she’s been faithful since then and you trust her then this is definitely something you can get over and work toward a future together. I assume you wouldn’t know she went on several dates with this guy and slept with him unless you asked her about the picture and she was honest with you. If your relationship was fine up to this point it should be fine again. You love her and I would treat this just like any other guy she slept with before you two start dating. They are in the past.March 29, 2018 at 5:23 pm #695023
If you only went on 2 dates and did not have sex, then you need to let it go. Of course you feel hurt, it is natural, but in this case you shouldn’t let it get to you. If you slept together, this would be different. Dating or not dating casual or not casual, once you have sex, things change. But you haven’t slept together at that time and you were not even “dating” yet. Only two dates is just a start. Let it go kiddo. LOLApril 1, 2018 at 11:45 am #695408
My advice to you is that,just stop that relationship, is it mandatory that you need to sleep with her to show that you are in a relationship? certainly not.
Even if you continued with that relationship,what proof do you have that she won’t sleep with someone else. she has just shown you her true colours of what she can do When you aren’t available.
Learn from it and Change your Direction.April 24, 2018 at 6:13 am #698653
I read your thread, follow your heart…
if you still love her, forgive her and continue your relationship again.
Or find someone who can listen to your problem and be someone special in your life.
Check this site girlstravelling(dot)com ,this is a great site, to find someone who can change your life
I used this site, and met many in this site, who one of them be a special person in my life. I recommend this site for youMay 1, 2018 at 1:13 pm #699777
As alia said, this is American style dating where you treat sex like a commodity, have one night stands, sleep with people you barely know after a date or two, have high divorce rates then suddenly become prudish and upset when you realize the person you partnered with has been with a lot of people before and during you. Stop pretending like you are the innocent, hurt party here and you haven’t done similar stuff to other ladies or ghosted women after one night stands. And if you haven’t then maybe you and your current girlfriend should part ways but I strongly suspect you are similarly matched in your ‘morals’. Get over it dude and stop looking for something to be upset about when you aren’t a paragon of virtue yourself. You weren’t exclusive.December 13, 2018 at 7:05 pm #732240
I am I total agreement. She did nothing wrong but this shows she has wandering eyes as if she was Into you fully she would not have been sleeping with anyone else.December 13, 2018 at 8:57 pm #732245
Better off Single
Could it be possible Matt he may have been showing low interest between dates?
Low interest to me is “okay, I was really into this guy, he’s not stepping up with the communication or wants to play games so I’m going to keep looking. If he wants to continue to talk, I won’t completely write him off. I won’t stop keeping my options open until I know it’s a sure thing.”
There’s no point in getting upset over something that happened that can not be changed. You either move forward or move on.May 29, 2019 at 8:02 am #751683
How if I clearly mentioned that she was not seeing anyone else during the time when we were going out, but later after being in a relationship after 8 months found out she was in a physical relationship with a guy for 3 whole months when we were dating.
Basically after I send her back home, she went with him n slept with him
According to her everything was forced, but looking at the texts, the pictures, it doesn’t look that wayMay 29, 2019 at 9:40 am #751692
I don’t understand your timeline. What do you mean by “after I send her back home?” How and under what circumstances did you “send her home”? Without knowing the reason its impossible to know if she was rebounding after a ‘breakup’ or major fight (why you sent her home) or there was too much distance between the two of you to the point she got tired of waiting around for you to make long-term plans with her? Need more info. to know.May 29, 2019 at 10:03 am #751697
Better off single
Dude if you can’t let it go, just let her go.May 29, 2019 at 1:42 pm #751714
She swapped bodily fluids with this guy she barely knows, risked a possible pregnancy and STDs, and probably had her mouth on his genitals. Of COURSE it’s a big deal.
I don’t blame you for being completely turned off. If you truly can’t move past it, it’s best to start fresh with someone else.May 29, 2019 at 2:23 pm #751720
Did you guys not read the “it was forced part”. I mean did she actually say she was assaulted?May 29, 2019 at 2:32 pm #751724
This is fine on your gfs part as it was Before you became exclusive that she was out with someone else. My main question is why are you stalking your gf on social media and pulling her apart ? Dont you trust her ? Are you abusive and controlling ?May 29, 2019 at 10:13 pm #751763
Better off single
Sounds like it.May 29, 2019 at 10:50 pm #751768
If you guys hadn’t had the DTR-talk (define the relationship) back then, then both of you didn’t owe each other loyalty.May 31, 2019 at 3:55 pm #752120
1. Send her home meaning, after taking her out on a date, basically I’ll fetch her from her place go out, talk , laugh n all, after that send her back to her place. And at that point of time she really was going through a break up. The problem is she wasnt fooling around with her ex, it was a different guy
2. Abusive… lol… I never even yell or shout at her the day I found the texts, just happened I woke up that time found her phone buzzing and saw those texts. According to her she wanted me to see those texts
3. The day I told her that I liked her n all, she told me she wanted to know me more, n I told okay let’s start going out n exclusively asked her if she was seeing anyone else, she denied seeing anyone else that time. But after 8 months found she was actually sleeping with another guy at that point of time n claimed everything was by force, if she didnt commit to what that guy wanted he would threaten her with a knife.May 31, 2019 at 6:32 pm #752140
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