He likes me, he likes me not…. now that is the real question.
Eric and I say over and over again that when a man likes you, it’s obvious. However, given the high volume of questions we receive from readers asking us to decipher whether a guy likes them or not (and the fact that “Does He Like Me?” is the most popular article on the site), it obviously isn’t so obvious to you when a guy likes you.
Even though I write about relationships for a living, I too can get thrown off when it comes to a guy I really like. When you add emotions (and a bit of ego) into the mix, it can be hard to see things clearly. Instead you’re seeing the situation through a lens of wishful thinking and sometimes a bit of self-deception.
Trust me, I know how confusing and frustrating it can be at times but the fact remains that when a guy likes you, it is obvious….you just need to know what signs to look for.
Read on for five tell-tale signs that he for sure likes you.
1. He initiates.
If you’re at a party, he comes up to you and strikes up a conversation. If you’re not in the same immediate vicinity, he reaches out to you. Finding an excuse to talk to you doesn’t require much creativity. If he wants to get your attention, he’ll think of something.
If a guy likes you, he might ask you for things he didn’t necessarily need to ask you, or starts a conversation he didn’t need to have with you. Maybe his company is hiring and he asks if you know anyone looking for a job, or he knows someone looking for a roommate and he asks if you know anyone, or he asks if you have any recommendations for a place to take his parents for dinner. When he wants to get your attention, he’ll think of something, even if he just makes it up.
2. Listens to what you say and remembers the details.
When we like someone, we can’t get enough. We want to know every detail, every story, even the insignificant ones. If a guy asks you a lot of questions about yourself and your life and shows a genuine interest in who you are and what you like, he is investing in you. You’ll get further confirmation of this if he remembers the things you told him: where you went to high-school, your major in college, the name of your first pet.
QUIZ: Does He Like Me?
3. Body language cues.
A guy might come across all slick, but his body language can tell you a lot about how he really feels. Mirroring is one way to assess if he’s into you. If you notice that he mimics your body language, it means he’s trying to connect to you and is completely focused on you. Other body language cues to look out for is if he leans in when talking to you, maintains eye contact, and points his feet towards you.
Also notice if he looks at you after he makes a joke or does something funny. If he likes you, he’ll look to see your reaction right away. Many experts claim that a guy’s pupil will dilate if he’s interested but this can be kind of tricky to assess. Another strong tell is if he finds ways to touch you. It could be “accidental” like brushing against your arm, seemingly innocent like a high-five that lingers a little longer that it usually would, or intentional like putting his hand on your when you’re telling a story.
4. Acts different around you.
If a guy likes you, he’ll act a little different when he’s around you. He might seem a bit nervous and fidgety, or maybe he tones down his usual “macho” attitude. You may notice he seems a little flustered or maybe even blushes a bit when you talk to him. If he behaves differently with you than other people in his life it’s a sign that he holds you in a different regard. Pay attention to the way he is with his friends and other people to get a baseline for how he usually acts. For example, if he flirts with everyone or is super friendly and attentive when he talks to anyone then it won’t necessarily mean as much if he acts that way with you.
5. He compliments your appearance.
Every guy I spoke to while gathering intel for this article said complimenting a girl’s appearance is the clearest sign that a guy is interested. If a guy is into you, he’ll pay close attention to your appearance and won’t be shy about letting you know it. Compliments are his way of telling you he notices you and wants to make you feel good. The only caveat is if it’s a guy who is already a close friend of yours. In that case, he might be complimenting you to be nice and doesn’t think you’ll take it the wrong way.
So there you have it, the strongest indicators that a guy is interested in you. Hope this gives you a bit of clarity and clears up any confusion for those grappling with the age old does he or doesn’t he question.
Side note: We have a whole chapter on knowing if a guy likes you in our new book, “10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men,” available in kindle and paperback on Amazon.
– SABRINA ALEXIS