The Real Reasons You’re Not Over Your Ex post image

No matter how toxic (and pointless) it is to continue pining for an ex, most women have a near impossible time letting go and moving forward.

Let’s say you had a job where you felt perpetually stressed, anxious, and miserable. You put in all you could, even if it came at the expense of your ego and sometimes, your sanity. And let’s say you got fired from that job. Yes, being unemployed is scary so at first you’ll feel upset and worried, but you will also probably feel relieved.

You’ll realize it was for the best and will be thankful that you are now free to find a job that is better suited for you, one where you will feel valued and appreciated. You won’t spend sleepless nights pining for that old job, wondering what went wrong and what else you could have done. You’ll realize, with perfect clarity, that it wasn’t the right place for you.

Now let’s say you’re in a relationship where you feel perpetually stressed, anxious, worried, and miserable. You put everything you have into making it work, you give it your all, even at the expense of your dignity and emotional well-being. You put up a good fight, but it’s not enough and he breaks up with you. You were miserable with him, and now you’re even more miserable without him. You spend months, maybe even years, pining away.

Unfortunately, a relationship is hard to view through the same objective lens as a job. With relationships, it’s not just our emotions that get involved, it’s our egos, our past pain, our childhood traumas, our insecurities, our fears. Everything gets activated and when the bomb detonates, it can take months or years to clear the wreckage.

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How to Handle a Breakup: 5 Steps to Heal A Broken Heart post image

Life can throw many challenges our way and in my experience, there are very few that are as trying and agonizing as mending a broken heart. Be it the drawn out, painful end to a long term relationship or the abrupt collapse of a relationship that was just getting off the ground, the aftermath leaves you hurting in places you didn’t even know could feel pain.

I’ve been there, you’ve probably been there, and no matter how many times you go through it, it doesn’t get easier.

We’ve covered a bevy of relationship topics on ANM over the years, but we haven’t really gone into the nitty gritty of how to heal a broken heart. It is a very important step in the finding-love equation….the sooner you can put yourself back together, the sooner you can move on and find the right relationship.

And with that, here are my tried and true steps to heal a broken heart: [continue reading…]

From Heartbreak and Back: He Left Me For Another Woman post image

My four year relationship ended three days before Valentine’s Day during my senior year of college. I was about to graduate and had planned on moving to be closer him. I figured three years of a long distance relationship was more than enough and I was ready to see where the relationship was heading. Me moving had also been our plan since I started college. Little did I know, he had planned something else entirely- a future without me. [continue reading…]

From Heartbreak and Back: When He Leaves With No Explanation post image

Love will make you forget time and time will make you forget love. ~ Anonymous

After graduating from college, I moved to Israel hoping to experience life outside of my comfort zone. I started waitressing at an International restaurant/bar, where I met David. I remember laughing to myself right after meeting him- “you and this British dishwasher, as if that would ever happen!”

For the first two weeks, our verbal exchanges were kept at a minimum: speaking only Hebrew, saying only “thank you” and “you’re welcome.” It took two weeks for him to realize that I wasn’t Israeli (as he had assumed), and for me to realize that he, in fact, was not British. He was an American who grew up in Miami and had recently completed his three-year term in the Israeli army. From there, we became fast friends.

We spent a lot of time together over the next month; hanging out after work, during work, outside of work. I felt so comfortable around him, and felt like I could truly be myself and tell him anything. He was my best friend. I’m sure you all can tell where this is going…

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From Heartbreak and Back: When It Doesn’t Turn Out The Way You Planned post image

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met~ Anonymous

As a child, I never dreamed about my wedding like a lot of little girls do. I always knew I would find my soul mate, but it wasn’t something I really thought of, until I met him.

I met him at 23, fell in love with him by 24 and at 25, he broke my heart.

In the early stages of our relationship, I knew right away that I had found him- the one person on this Earth for me. I can’t tell you how I knew, but something felt so right. It took me seven months to become his girlfriend and I felt in my heart, this was it. This was the man I would spend the rest of my life with, raise the children I never wanted to have with, have the house, dog and family with.

So what happened to the dream we both had? He lost his job and drifted away. He wanted to deal with this part of his life on his own, to not have me worry about him, us and the future. He left and broke my heart.

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From Heartbreak and Back: When Love Turns Violent post image

“The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of” ~ Blaise Pascal

I was barely fifteen years old, sitting outside secretly smoking cigarettes at my uncles house, just lying back with my cousins on the roof and looking out at the vast, beautiful summer sky. A virgin in all senses of the word, I had yet to even kiss a guy at that point, but as I stared into the sky that night, a peace came over me and I suddenly looked up with a smile and said, “I think I want a boyfriend. My first serious boyfriend.”

Given that, I simply thought it was destiny when less than a week later, at the start of my sophomore year, Anthony (*names changes) caught my eye. We would smile as we passed each other in the halls and he would always come linger next to my desk before the start of class. The first Friday of the school year, at the football game, me, my best friend, him and his best friend, all left the game to go to the movies- he had been asking me non-stop. Shortly into the movie which was, of course, a horror movie, he kissed the side of my face and whispered, “Will you be my girlfriend.” And just like that, one of the most powerful relationships of my life began.

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From Heartbreak and Back: Getting Over Your First Love post image

We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first- George John Whyte-Melville

It feels like the pit in your stomach is going to crawl up into your heart and die a slow, painful death. Killing you softly, the pit requires certain sustenance to go on. So, you begin to torture yourself, feeding the pit, because without that pit you feel empty and alone.

I dated him for four years. During my freshman year of college we locked eyes and it was all very magical. I assure you. I was a young, hopeless romantic. As I got to know him better I was sure that I would never love anyone as much as him. That I would never feel as comfortable naked around anyone else. That I would marry him, that we would have babies, and live happily ever after. I was seventeen.

Four years later I think we both knew, him consciously and me subconsciously, that there was no way we would work out. We wanted different things. I see that now. But back then all I saw was him pushing me away for no reason. I was mad at him and he was avoiding me at all costs. When it came time for it to really end I was devastated.

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Introducing From Heartbreak and Back post image

One of my main inspirations for creating this site was not only to share fabulous fashion finds and style tips, but to empower and inspire ladies everywhere with knowledge and insights to help them really savor the good and be confident enough to persevere through the bad.

A few years ago, I endured the worst, most agonizing pain of all- the breakup. I don’t even need to describe the pain associated with this rite of passage because I’m sure you’ve all been there- you feel sick to your stomach, you feel more alone than ever even with your girlfriends around tell you you’ll find someone better, the world just feels empty, and it feels like a dark cloud will loom over your being for the rest of your days.

Read on for more! [continue reading…]

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