A goodnight text is different than a regular text. There is something extra special about hearing from the person you care about at the end of a long day, as you’re starting to wind down and make your way into bed. It gives you one final smile for the day and a wave of tingly butterflies.

Men aren’t immune to the power of a goodnight text, it has the same dizzying effect on them as it does on us ladies.

I’m going to be honest with you, and I don’t mean to brag, but I’m something of a texting master. I have the do’s and don’ts of texting down pat and always get an eager response. (And if a guy doesn’t text back, here’s why.)

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The purpose of this article is to show you how you can quickly and easily see if you’re in a toxic relationship.

The term itself is interchangeable. I could just as easily refer to these relationships as unhealthy relationships or emotionally abusive relationships.

After years of talking to women from all over the world, I wanted to talk about this subject because I observed that these destructive and heartbreaking relationships all had one factor that ultimately made them turn toxic… even if the relationship started out well.
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My boyfriend has become withdrawn lately. He’s really stressed with not working, his dog dying, best friend’s dad having lung cancer, and everything just adding up.

He’s been pulling away for a couple weeks and has recently started going a day or two without texting me.

Should I stop texting him all together, or will that be showing that I don’t care and that I’m not supportive? I want him to know I’m here for him and that I’m not going anywhere, even though it’s tough. What should I do? 

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Long distance relationships (LDRs) are more common than ever in today’s world, thanks to the internet, social media, and Skype.

While we might have more modern ways to keep in touch, that doesn’t necessarily mean making a long distance relationship work has become easier for most people.

When you’re in an long distance relationship, most people will tell you that LDRs don’t last, that they’re a bad idea and that you shouldn’t get your hopes up.

For most of us, the inside of your head isn’t much better: Your mind is constantly worrying if the relationship will last, wondering if the other person is as committed as you are, fearing that it could all end suddenly and you’ll be left to pick up the pieces.

Yes, they say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” but when you don’t have a clear, easy, and effective approach to LDRs, it’s more like, “Absence makes the heart grow more fearful about the relationship.”

The good news is, long distance relationships can be easy if you know the right way to approach an LDR. I’m going to share 8 powerful tips that lead to having a successful long distance relationship.

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Marriage is a joint effort. You are a team, a duo, a couple. The relationship has many facets. You are lovers, friends, and family. So when one of the spouses veers off the marriage path and into the arms of someone else, it can be devastating.

Inevitably the other spouse asks all the why questions: Why did he do this to me? Why did he fall for her? Why did they think this was ok? Why didn’t he love me enough?

With all the heartache it can cause, many times, infidelity leads to divorce. But what if you are both interested in saving the marriage? If your marriage has sustained any sort of infidelity, and you want to stay married, here are 22 ways to survive.

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Do you have any advice on how to tell if a guy loves you?

I’ve been seeing this guy for almost a year know and though he says he loves me, I just can’t tell if he’s just saying what I want to hear or if he really does love me.

He’s not the type of guy to gush with lots “romantic talk”, but it’s more than what he says that makes me worried… sometimes I feel like if I didn’t text him or set up dates, he’d disappear or forget I even existed at all.  Is it possible for a man to say he loves you and not actually be that into you?  How do you know if a guy loves you?

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I think  most women run into issues and confusion in their love lives because they don’t know what a truly healthy relationship looks like, and is supposed to feel like. And it’s not surprising given the very unrealistic portrayals of love in movies, TV, and music. There is this idea that we have one soul mate and that real love stories are supposed to be filled with obstacles and drama. While this makes for good entertainment, it isn’t real life.

Most of the love stories we see in pop culture are rooted in infatuation…not real love. Some degree of infatuation is fine, but a relationship entirely rooted in infatuation is usually doomed. It’s usually based on an obsession, or idealization, more than a genuine appreciation and acceptance of who the other person is.

There is a tremendous difference between real, true love and unhealthy obsession or fixation… but it doesn’t always feel like that.

What do I mean by love and fixation?

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“There’s a guy at work that I’ve been interested in for a while.  The problem is, he sends mixed signals and I can’t tell if he really is interested in me and flirting or if he’s just being friendly.

What do guys like in a girl?  What makes a guy want to date a girl versus not seeing her as “girlfriend material”?  What do men want in a woman that makes them see them as a catch?”

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The holidays are prefect for celebrating, but aren’t exactly ideal for healthy eating. Fortunately, you can make it through the holidays with your figure intact. The most important thing is to be aware of common traps that can pile on the pounds which is why I’m sharing some important do’s and don’ts for surviving Thanksgiving dinner.

Time to pack on the fun, not the pounds this holiday season!

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I’m at a place in my life where I want to find true love – not another fling, not another dead end relationship, not another man who just wants something casual.

How do you find love?  I want real love, the kind of love that lasts with a man who loves me for who I really am and wants to be with me forever.  Where can I find love and how do I know when I really have it?

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I’ve been with my boyfriend for four months and he’s been acting more and more jealous.  At first, I found it sweet, but this weekend he snooped through my phone and accused me of talking to other men.

I can tell you with complete honesty that I haven’t talked to any other guys… the thought doesn’t even cross my mind.  I kept telling my boyfriend that I’m only interested in him, but he seems cold and withdrawn now. It’s like I’m being punished for a crime I didn’t commit.

Is this normal jealousy or is this something beyond? Can you tell me what to do when a guy is jealous?

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Toxic relationships are tricky things because they rarely start out toxic. They usually start out nice and fun and exciting, giving you just enough happy memories to hold onto when the toxicity starts to creep in. It usually starts out slowly, and before you know it, you are stuck in a toxic relationship that you can’t seem to leave even though you feel totally miserable.

In my last Ask a Guy article, I discussed the defining features and signs of a toxic relationship.

Please, before you begin reading this article, make sure that you have read and understood the previous article entirely.  In this article I want to go a little deeper into how to repair a toxic relationship, and how to know if it even can be repaired, or if it’s time to walk away.

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I was having a conversation with a woman last week and had embarked on one of my typical, now practiced monologues about why all guys are di*$& and all girls are crazy. She didn’t object to my ripping apart the male species, but she did jump on my words about the crazy factor inside all women.

She said, “What makes you think all women are crazy?”

I’ve been asked this question before in similar discussions, so I knew the drill. Normally I would bring up 10 or maybe 35 examples of crazy stuff that girls from my past had said or done, then end with the simultaneously cynical but hopeful conclusion that a man’s mission is just to find the LEAST crazy girl and marry her.

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I’ve been in my relationship for over 2 years. We started out great. He was attentive, sweet, caring and I felt on top of the world with him. However, looking back I can see that after 3 months, the relationship dynamic started to change and I started to change. He started to put me down, get cold emotionally or get really angry from time to time… It wasn’t over-the-top or out of the ordinary and I would just let it go since I just wanted the relationship to fall back into harmony.

Now, after 2 years into the relationship, I’m starting to question if I’m in a toxic relationship. I have felt for a long time that I have to walk on eggshells around him… I’m afraid to say or do the wrong thing around him because I never know what will trigger his anger or harsh criticism.

On the other hand, though, when things are good, they’re really good. Our sexual chemistry is amazing, I have never connected with a man the way I connect with him and when he’s happy with me I feel like I’m on top of the world. I still love him very much and despite the negative ways he acts sometimes, I believe he loves me very much too. He’s always been faithful to me, he pays all my bills and we live together now.

I feel so conflicted: Am I in a toxic relationship? Are toxic relationships repairable? Is what I’m experiencing normal in a relationship from time to time?

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Question: Hi Dr. Jen, I want to work out, but I never seem to have any energy. Is it because I have a slow metabolism and if so how can I boost it?
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Everyone in the world has an ex. At least, everyone in America in their mid-twenties does. Exes are a tricky topic of conversation, always. Some people have exes they hate, some have exes they still love, and some have exes that they have somehow managed to keep around as a friend without any complicated emotional ties, lingering doubts, and regrets from the past.

Let’s talk about those people, the ones who seem to have mastered an impossible form of coexistence with a former flame. They are exes with the benefit of being friends, so, “exes with frienefits”? Let’s go with that.

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I’d like to know specific things I can do to turn on a man.  I read your last article about the having the right mindset to seduce men, but I’d like to know what behaviors, tactics, and actions a woman can take to make a guy really turned on and hot to pursue me.

Can you talk about how to turn a guy on through specific actions?

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Question: Hello, Dr. Jen. I want the super charged energy that comes from superfoods, so how do I incorporate as many of them into my diet as possible? I thought superfood smoothies might work, but in the past I’ve given up on them because I can’t make them taste good? Do you have any suggestions or superfood smoothie recipes that actually taste good?

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Question: Hello Dr. Jen, I heard that doing a sugar detox is great for losing weight, increasing energy, and burning fat. Is that true, and if so how would I go about it? Because I crave sugar all the time!

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I’d like to know your rules for having a friends with benefits arrangement.  I’m not looking to be in a relationship right now, but I’m only human and I have needs.  I want something that’s dependable enough that I can take care of my needs without having to jump from guy to guy or pick some guy up at a bar or club.  Yes, I understand that this isn’t what women say they typically want, but I just got out of a long, difficult relationship and I don’t want to dive right back into commitment again.  

Can you tell me the best friends with benefits rules so I can make this happen without drama or complication?

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Dreaming is good.

In America, “dream big” is often the mantra of success. It’s not uncommon to hear actors, entrepreneurs, politicians, musicians, and athletes attribute their accomplishments to an undying commitment to never abandoning their dreams, no matter how bleak the path ahead may have appeared. In the words of Jim Carrey, “It is better to risk starving to death than surrender. If you give up on your dreams, what’s left?”

It is indeed inspiring to hear tales of perseverance: stories about people who held onto optimism and the hope that somehow, someday, the life they were living would match the life they could only imagine. That the wait would be over, and the finish line would make the whole journey—all the pain, the disappointment, the rejection—finally worth it.

But does dreaming big work well for your love life?

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Question: Hello Dr. Jen, I have a two-part question. The first is I’m wondering what I can do to get a thigh gap. Also, is it true that it’s impossible for some people to ever have a thigh gap?

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The Beatles sang, “All You Need is Love” and it’s true, we do need love…if only it could be easier to find.

Love is a small word with a big meaning, a meaning that is a unique experience for everyone and can mean very different things from one person to the next. A man might say he loves a woman and not feel it…or he might feel it strongly but be unable to say it. Knowing how he feels is a lot more complicated than just hearing the words. Fortunately, how much he loves you is something that can be measured and quantified which is why we’ve created this quiz.

Take this super easy, super quick quiz to find out if this guy really loves you and wants to commit to you for life.

The quiz will ask you 9 questions about your relationship. As long as you answer honestly, you will get startlingly (even shockingly) accurate results and will know for sure whether he loves you or not.

Note: In order to receive your quiz results, we collect your email at the end of the quiz. Just wanted to give you a heads up so you know what to expect. :)

You meet a guy, sparks ignite, you spend time together, you’re into him, he’s really into you, you can’t help but think of the amazing future that lies ahead….and then something shifts.

Suddenly he’s not as attentive, he doesn’t pursue you with the same level of enthusiasm, he doesn’t text in the middle of the day just to say he’s thinking about you, he doesn’t go above and beyond. He’s still there…but something seems to have changed.

Sometimes this doesn’t mean anything. The guy just got busy or wrapped up in other areas of his life and the girl gets herself into a panic over nothing. Other times, he is over the relationship, he just doesn’t quite know how to break it to you.

No matter what, that sense of panic and dread can cause a real hindrance to your life and happiness. It can also put an unnecessary dent in your relationship.

To help you find out what’s going on and where he stands, take this super easy, super quick quiz to find out if he’s losing interest….or if you’re just being paranoid and everything is fine.

The quiz will ask you 10 questions about your relationship. As long as you answer honestly, you will get startlingly (even shockingly) accurate results and will know for sure how he feels.

Note: In order to receive your quiz results, we collect your email at the end of the quiz. Just wanted to give you a heads up so you know what to expect. :)

Looking to tone up your booty for the upcoming short shorts season? There are a variety of Pilates exercises that are perfect not only for glute strength, but for hamstring, back, and ab strength as well. Many of us who spend a lot of time sitting during the day have tight hip flexors. Hip flexors are a group of large muscles that connect the front thigh to the pelvis and are in charge of flexing at the hip joint. Tight hip flexor muscles can pull your pelvis out of whack, which can lead to bad posture and low back pain. Performing exercises that focus on the glutes and hamstrings is perfect for realigning the pelvis and opening up tight hips while also shaping up that booty.

In my last article about toning your abs, I mentioned that Pilates is a full-body workout with an emphasis on the core. Meaning you never just work one muscle group; instead, you use the core to develop a deep connection through your entire body, from head to toe. Strengthening the core connection can help correct posture, heal back pain, prevent injuries, and rehabilitate.

It’s no surprise that Pilates is gaining immense popularity in the fitness world. I truly believe that if done mindfully, it is the healthiest and most efficient form of exercise.

Here are my three favorite exercises to tighten and tone your backside:

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I have been seeing this guy for a little while now, it’s a long-distance relationship and we aren’t exclusive. When we’re together, he seems super into me.  He talks about me to his friends, engages in PDA, and compliments me all the time. He initiates every conversation, checks up on me if I don’t reply, makes plans in advance, clears his schedule for me, etc., and I know for a fact that he isn’t seeing or hooking up with anyone else. 

He tells me he misses me and that distance sucks because we can’t be together, but adds that we should keep our options open in the meantime. I tried ending it, but he begged me not to (although he also said he would understand if that’s what I truly wanted). In the end, we both decided to keep the lines of communication open.

I can’t wrap my head around the fact that he says he genuinely likes me but still wants to play the field when I’m not around and doesn’t mind if another guy snatches me up. Is distance a legitimate reason not to commit, or is he just not that into me?

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Cardio workouts are a great way to shed pounds, but my favorite way to tone up is by focusing on deep core muscles. Pilates exercises develop a strong core connection through a full-body workout.

We all hear talk about the core, but many don’t realize the core goes beyond abdominals. As defined in Pilates, specific muscles make up the core: the transversus abdominis, your internal abs; the pelvic floor, at the base of your abs and attached to the pelvis; the diaphragm, which extends across the bottom of the rib cage and is used for breathing; and the multifidus, a small but powerful muscle that supports your spine. Essentially, these muscles are in charge of stabilizing your trunk and pelvis, so a strong core will enhance balance and stability as well as help prevent injuries.

Pilates exercises are a great way to get you to a flat tummy because of their abdominal focus and overall core challenge. In addition to all the core muscles already mentioned, Pilates exercises can challenge the rectus abdominis, your superficial abs, and the obliques, your lateral abs. When engaging your core, imagine a corset around your waistline hugging your abs in towards your spine.

Want to give your abs a run for their money? Here are three of my favorite ultra-challenging Pilates exercises. As you work through them, pay attention to detail by beginning with a slow and steady pace.

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After my ex-husband and I divorced, I dated a lot. You could say I was sowing my wild oats, or the twenties I didn’t have a chance to experience. I had missed out on figuring out who I was, but also figuring out what I wanted in a partner. So, suddenly single in my mid-thirties, I had a lot of learning to do. I had two boyfriends during those six years of healing, and a few quasi-relationships in between. That time was strewn with breakups – some of which stuck, and some which did not. There were a multitude of reasons why this happened.

So if you’re nursing your breakup wounds and contemplating getting back together with your ex, before you do, make sure you’re not doing it for any of these ten reasons:

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So your friend is dating this guy and you’re thinking he’s bad news. It’s the kind of situation where you can feel stuck: On the one hand, you love your friend and want her to be in a healthy relationship. On the other hand, you know that if you say something to her, she may not take it well and it may ruin your friendship. What’s a girl to do?

Every situation is different, but here are some points that may apply to your situation and can be helpful to explore as you figure out the next right step:

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