The Real Reasons You’re Not Over Your Ex post image

The Real Reasons You’re Not Over Your Ex

No matter how toxic (and pointless) it is to continue pining for an ex, most women have a near impossible time letting go and moving forward.

Let’s say you had a job where you felt perpetually stressed, anxious, and miserable. You put in all you could, even if it came at the expense of your ego and sometimes, your sanity. And let’s say you got fired from that job. Yes, being unemployed is scary so at first you’ll feel upset and worried, but you will also probably feel relieved.

You’ll realize it was for the best and will be thankful that you are now free to find a job that is better suited for you, one where you will feel valued and appreciated. You won’t spend sleepless nights pining for that old job, wondering what went wrong and what else you could have done. You’ll realize, with perfect clarity, that it wasn’t the right place for you.

Now let’s say you’re in a relationship where you feel perpetually stressed, anxious, worried, and miserable. You put everything you have into making it work, you give it your all, even at the expense of your dignity and emotional well-being. You put up a good fight, but it’s not enough and he breaks up with you. You were miserable with him, and now you’re even more miserable without him. You spend months, maybe even years, pining away.

Unfortunately, a relationship is hard to view through the same objective lens as a job. With relationships, it’s not just our emotions that get involved, it’s our egos, our past pain, our childhood traumas, our insecurities, our fears. Everything gets activated and when the bomb detonates, it can take months or years to clear the wreckage.

As a result, when a relationship ends it’s not just the other person that’s missing, a lot of pieces of yourself also need to be retrieved. Many people make the mistake of thinking that the reason they’re so sad after a breakup is because they genuinely miss their former partner. This is true to an extent, but it’s far from the whole picture. The pain we feel comes from several sources, and most have nothing to do with the ex himself.

1. You Think You’ll Never Find Anyone as Amazing as Him

This is the biggest breakup myth of all and the reason most people find it so hard to get over their first love. They cling to the belief that since they never experienced anything like that before, they never will again.
You convince yourself that no other man on the planet has the same qualities as him and thus, you have two choices: get him back or settle for someone who will never measure up. I hope you can recognize the absurdity in this! Will you meet someone else exactly like him? No, because no two people are exactly alike and even still, you and he broke up proving someone exactly like him is not exactly what you need. You won’t find someone with his exact qualities….you will find someone even better and more compatible with you.

QUIZ: Can You Get Your Ex Back?


2. You Were Infatuated

Most people confuse true love with infatuation even though these two concepts couldn’t be more different. Love is about realistically seeing who the other person is, flaws and all, and appreciating the entire picture. It doesn’t make demands or need things to be a certain way, it grows and flows effortlessly creating an environment where both people bring out the best in one another.

Infatuation is about creating an unrealistic image of who the other person is and turning him into some supreme, perfect being. The biggest sign you’re infatuated is if you can’t find a single flaw in the other person. Infatuation usually happens because you have a void in your life that he fills. You don’t feel good enough about yourself and this supreme being shows interest in you, making you feel desirable and worthy, and you cling to him for more of that feeling.

His approval makes you feel OK…it makes you feel “good enough,” at least temporarily. Since he gives you something you need so desperately, you become terrified of losing him, and then the panic sets in…what if he loses interest? How can I keep him?

You let him get away with as much bad behavior as he wants because you’re too afraid to call him out and risk losing him. As he retreats, you do anything in your power to reel him back in. You’re in a  relationship where you’re not being treated the way you want, and yet, you can’t rip yourself away. So you stay.

MORE: 10 Best Quotes to Get Over a Breakup

Eventually, it ends leaving you more fractured and empty than before. You continue to idealize him and think the only way you’ll ever feel better is if he comes back. Self-love always starts from within, it can never be attained from the outside. Until you realize this, you will remain in heartbreak’s unrelenting grip.

3. You Sold Yourself Out

get-over-him-tips-2This ties into being infatuated. In unhealthy relationships, we will often “sell ourselves out” in an effort to make it work. Selling yourself out means accepting behavior that you would otherwise consider unacceptable, or attempting to be someone your not. Maybe you don’t speak up anymore, maybe you aren’t the same bubbly, confident person you once were, maybe you put him and his needs above your own.

The emotional devastation you feel after a breakup is usually proportional to the extent you sold yourself out. When these relationships end, you will often feel like a piece of you is missing, like you aren’t whole. It’s a miserable, almost sickening feeling. You might feel like getting him back is the only cure, but it’s not. What you need to do is look at yourself and really try to determine why it is you accepted such poor treatment for so long, and what steps you can take to avoid getting into a situation like this again.

MORE: 6 Ways To Get Over A Break-Up

4. You Miss the Way He Made You Feel

Most of the time, it’s not the guy you’re missing…it’s the feelings you experienced when you were with him. You miss the intimacy, the closeness, the feeling of being desired and admired. You miss the way he made you feel more than who he actually is.

There is almost always a period of withdrawal after an important element of our life is gone. Whether it’s your decision to make the excision or not, there will suddenly be a void and you may feel unbalanced as you try to cope without the thing that was once there to fuel you. It’s like quitting coffee or cigarettes.

At first, you think you’ll never be able to make it through the day without your “fix.” It will definitely be hard at first, but when you push past the initial discomfort, you will be able to function just as well, or even better, than before!

When you go through a breakup, you may be missing the feeling of being loved and cared for. To fill this empty space, surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and love you for who you are. Focus on re-building your life in a way that makes you feel fulfilled and content with who you are. You probably relied on him to give you a feeling of worth, and now it’s time to take ownership and give it to yourself.

5.You Gave Up Your Life

get-over-him-tips-7A boyfriend can often quickly go from being a part of your life to being your entire life. You stop seeing your friends as much, doing hobbies you enjoy, pursuing your passions. You want to spend every free moment with him and can’t pry yourself away.

It feels like he’s your everything…because he is! And when “everything” leaves, you’re left with nothing. You feel empty, like a piece of you is missing.

The fact is, a lot of pieces of you are missing and he isn’t the final magical puzzle piece. It starts with re-building your life and making it full and balanced. When you drop other elements of your life and have your guy fill that space, you will have a huge hole once he leaves you. Realize that this hole isn’t because he was the other half of your soul, but rather because you threw a lot of important elements of your life overboard.

6. You Took it Too Personally

A lot of the time, the pain we feel after a breakup is really the throb of a severely bruised ego. Rejection hurts, even if it had nothing to do with you it can still sting and make you feel like you’re somehow not good enough. Sometimes two people just aren’t a match, it’s as simple as that. Sometimes both people can see this with perfect clarity, and sometimes only one person does.

MORE: How to Handle Rejection

Being single can be tough, dating can be exhausting, but neither of these options is as bad as being stuck in an unhealthy relationship. Everyone has something they want to give to a relationship and get from a relationship. If what you give is what the other person can receive, and vice versa, then it’s a match. If not, then it doesn’t mean either of you is bad or damaged or not good enough, you’re just not a match and that’s OK.

Try not to take it to personally and instead realize that while this might not have been the right relationship for you, the next one very well might be so your best bet is to mentally and emotionally move past this relationship so you can open the door for something even better to walk through.

7. You’re Idealizing the Past

Most women seem to develop selective amnesia after a relationship ends whereby they only remember the good times and completely ignore everything that went on the rest of the time. I’m sure you shared plenty of good times and happy memories, but that’s not all that went on or the relationship wouldn’t have ended.

Be real with yourself and honest about the relationship. Remind yourself of the reasons why it didn’t work instead of going over what you could have or should have done differently in order to make it work. Chances are, it would have ended no matter what you did differently.

Breakups don’t happen because of small details, they occur because the two individuals in their entirety simply weren’t a match. No amount of ruminating will change this so it’s best to just accept it and move forward.

MORE: 5 Steps to Heal a Broken Heart

A breakup can feel almost like a death…and it kind of is. It’s the death of potential, the death of all the possibilities of what could be and where this might lead. In the beginning, you were so full of hope and optimism, two of the most uplifting and exhilarating feelings there are. And you’re having a hard time parting with it, a hard time accepting that while what you and he shared was good, it wasn’t good enough to stand the test of time. But it’s OK. Not every relationship is meant to last so don’t think of it as the end, think of this time as just the beginning of your journey towards finding the right one.

I hope this article helped you understand the real reasons you’re not over your ex. It is possible to get your ex back, but it won’t happen because you want it to. You can get him back, but you need to know a few things. Do you know what makes your ex desperately miss you and realize you were the “one”? If not, you need to read this article next: Do You Want Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Use This to Get Him Back...

These Are the Real Reasons You’re Not Over Your Ex

  1. You Think You’ll Never Find Anyone as Amazing as Him
  2. You Were Infatuated
  3. You Sold Yourself Out
  4. You Miss the Way He Made You Feel
  5. You Gave Up Your Life
  6. You Took it Too Personally
  7. You’re Idealizing the Past

Written by Sabrina Alexis

I’m Sabrina Alexis, the co-founder, and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing relatable, insightful articles that help people understand relationship dynamics and how to get the love they want. I have a degree in psychology and have spent the last 10 years interviewing countless men and reading and studying as much as I can to better understand human psychology and how men operate. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Instagram.

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hi, i am ashamed to be writing this, however, i need help. desperately, i need help. several months ago i became involved with a married man. i myself am also married. a group of us were on vacation at a beautiful location . neither of our spouses came along. the affair began almost immediately upon our arrival. over the next few months we thought god had brought us together. we are both divorcing our spouses and going to be together, forever. i miss my husband, bill. i regret what i have done to bill. my new found love, carlton left his wife and they are in the process of divorce. i do not know how to tell carlton that what we did was a huge mistake. that i want to return to bill. i believe carlton and i became caught up in our affair. we were selfish and didn’t think about what we were doing to ourselves and others. honestly, if i had wanted to divorce bill i would have done it years ago. that is the truth. god didn’t bring carlton and i together. god’s hand was not in the making of this relationship. carlton and i are both cheaters! how could either of us ever trust each other? i am sorry for hurting bill. bill and i have talked and he will take me back. bill would never hurt me, he loves me unconditionally. i do not know how to tell carlton. i do not want to hurt carlton. deep down i believe he needs to stop his divorce proceedings and return to his wife. i would like the break up to be carlton’s idea. i want him to say it is over. i would play the scene, crying, begging, etc. so carlton would not be hurt. i do not want to talk about the situation with carlton, it would be too ackward and uncomfortable for the two of us. can you help me? please, i want to be with bill. i want to spend my remaining days with bill. we are not young people. there is another problem, my sister judy is best friends with carlton. judy and i are extremely close. this news will shock judy. i do not want to hurt judy either. i am trapped. please, i want carlton to go away. i want to go back to my life before carlton. i am sorry and ashamed of the damage we have done. i am guilty of hurting people. people who did not deserve to be hurt. i know carlton still loves his wife, he needs to return to her. we each need to return to our spouses and beg for forgiveness not only to them but to god as well. i do not want to have this conversation with carlton. i want it all to just go away. i will deny. what can i do to help him see the light without hurt and drama? i realized i love bill. i want bill. i want carlton to say to me, i need to go back and see if things will work between the wife and i. i will put on an upset show and beg for him not to go back. but i want out. i want carlton to return to his wife. i want a friendly breakup. no hard feelings. i cannot and will not talk about this with carlton. i am so ashamed of what we have done. please god, help me to end this and soon. let carlton see he belongs with his wife as much as i belong with bill. i love bill. being “in love” is not permanent, being loved and loving someone is permanent. and i love bill. please help me. god forgive us. carlton and i could never trust each other, we are cheaters! i am hoping, fingers crossed, that carlton will somehow find out about my postings and end this affair. yes, i am a coward. i love bill. no one will ever love me like bill does.

Reply April 6, 2020, 2:28 pm


I was having some misunderstanding with my husband and it was tearing our marriage apart to the extend my husband do not come home anymore and he was seeking for a divorce. I tried to make things work for us again but he has already made up his mind against me because another woman was already involved and he choose to settle with her.

Reply April 2, 2020, 7:39 pm


Well this is the last place i thought i would come to. Well may i ask if any one can give me some advise what i must do cause it is eating me up slowly. I found 6 years agou a wonderful person she was the funniest gile i ever had. We made jokes we laughed we cried ajd we had our ups and downs. After a year and a half we started to have more arguments about money. My salery was not as strong as heres( her own bissnuss).
We started to drift apart. We desided to go our own pathes. I usealy called her we spoke on the phone send emails an talked. But for some reason i could never tell her how i still love her. Untill now i still love her and thinking of her every day. Is that wrong?? What is my way forwerd?

Reply October 29, 2019, 1:52 pm


As you mentioned looking like it as a job, I will. I had a job for 28 years that I loved. I was appreciated and did not feel unwanted. Suddenly, out of the blue, I got fired. 3 years on I am still in love with my ex-husband. He did wrong and I kicked him out. Now the only person in the world I want is him. I am left thinking I should’ve put up with his affair. Too late now. Divorced. No contact for 3 years. I am told he constantly asks after me and wants to know if and who I am dating. His child with the other woman is nearly 3 now. All I do is miss him and all I know is I will love him until the day I die. I have tried therapy. I have tried new hobbies and friends. I just want my husband back and its killing me. How can I forget him?

Reply June 3, 2019, 8:09 am


That is so sad. I feel your struggle.
I read the book “ you are enough” by Mandy Hale.
It was uplifting and helped a bit.
Best of luck !

Reply July 2, 2019, 2:44 pm


Things have been rocky with the guy I was in a relationship with for a few months. We would go a couple days without talking but he has now stopped all communication with me and I have heard nothing from him. I keep asking why is he doing this and he will not even reply to me. I just found out that he moved to another state. I am so hurt and broken! Ive been crying for days, can’t eat , , feeling depressed because I just can’t understand. I was good to him I loved him hard! He never had to question me at all because I was extremely loyal to him! I tried so hard for him. And he just left me without a word and won’t even at least talk to me. This is a hard breakup for me. I just feel like I am such a good girl someone that most men claim they want but I always end up hurt! It makes me not want to love any more! I put everyone’s happiness above my own! I stay way longer than I should for the very thought that I will keep trying because I wouldn’t anyone to just give up on me. I can’t even get out of the bed. I would’ve nevertheless imagined that he would do me like this he just up and left and won’t even talk to me. The pain hurts so bad!!!! And then we live in a world that makes you feel like you aren’t doing something right if you aren’t married or have children yet. I’ll be 29 soon my family keep asking where is your boyfriend when are you having a baby? And I play it off but deep down inside I am dying. It just hurts so bad to love someone and think they love you too but they just leave you with no explanation. Torn into pieces!

Reply September 10, 2018, 5:02 pm


I can’t cope with the pain of my break up. Can’t eat or sleep, I feel depressed. Can’t sleep without the sleeping pills. And to make things worse I think I’m getting addicted to them. How can I make myself feel better and sleep better?

Reply August 8, 2018, 9:42 pm

Ebony Smith

Hey Nathalie.
One of the wisest things I have ever heard someone say is, “if people can walk away from you. LET THEM WALK.” Your destiny is not tied to him. If I were you I would look up the 5 second rule by Mel Robbins, and I would read the happiness advantage by Shawn Achor

Reply August 13, 2018, 9:28 pm


Good article. Pretty sure all these apply to guys as well.

Another reason one might pine over an ex, at least in my case, is because they feel like a part of them only came alive around the ex, and that the ex was a “key” that unlocked a certain side of them. The “part” could be a personality trait that existed prior to the relationship, emerged during the relationship due to happiness, or emerged during the relationship due to it rubbing off from the ex. When the ex is gone, that side (e.g. enthusiasm for life, sense of humor, optimism) may not come out anymore, and it’s kind of sad to lose that. It may feel like the ex holds on to a piece of you, and you want to go back to revisit who you once were, like one may revisit a childhood home for nostalgic purposes.

However, in the case of the loss of a “pre-existing personality trait”, I suppose it could also be due to a lingering depression (e.g. prompted by the breakup), or maturation as a person/loss of naivete (e.g. due to lessons from the relationship).

Reply June 2, 2018, 6:06 pm


Got dumped and I don’t even know what I did…thanks a lot for this, I needed to hear it

Reply September 11, 2017, 12:29 pm


Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I found myself in so many of these aspects and I will re-read this article everytime I feel like crying over him.

We were just not suited, even though I still love him with all my heart.

Thank you, I really needed this read.

Reply September 6, 2017, 5:37 am


It is difficult to let go , but you only become stronger and learn from your past most importantly you need to find balance and love yourself i share to you from experience

I was with someone for 7 years in certainly drain me in pieces and broke my heart , i miss him once in awhile but you have to let go and be positive their someone out there for you , dont rush it also take some time dont jump into a relationship things happen for the reason find peace in your soul and forgiveness

Cry if you have too , but remember to smile after we have a lot to be thankful

Reply August 15, 2017, 3:14 am


should i leave him im so scared cause i love him so much

Reply August 7, 2017, 1:21 pm


Why do you feel like you should leave him?

Reply September 6, 2017, 5:42 am

Ben S.

Its been 2 months for me and i still have pain everytime i hear his name or someone brings up a memory i have of him. even harder i know ill prob never see him again because he moved away. but with all my heart i miss him and all i want is him back :””””(

Reply June 25, 2017, 5:41 pm

Lisa Bleeke

I like so many others am extremely grateful for this article. Everything in this article was something I so needed to read. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!!!!!

Reply April 10, 2017, 2:45 pm


<3 I felt the same way. Keep your chin up, we are warrior queens!!!

Reply September 6, 2017, 5:43 am


Its been a week and I can’t get over him I would rather share him with another girl than not to have him at all. He is a good the fact that he wants to be with his childs mom for the sake of the child even makes me want him more, he is a good looking man and replacing him will be hard, the sex was great, he used to hold me tight I miss all that, I’m taking him back sorry

Reply April 5, 2017, 9:20 am


I can relate so much..

I met this guy in college, he was everything a girl could ask for I fell in love with him the first time I met him.. maybe that was the problem, I never saw anything wrong with him even after I found out on Facebook that he just had a baby and was still in a relationship with the mother of the child, he told me that he would leave her and be with me and I believed that and forgave him. He treated me so badly, he would disappear for weeks without calling and when he did call, I would forget everthing and go back to him Whenever I asked about the situation with his baby mama he would get angry and walk out. He eventually stopped calling me and we stopped communicating all together and this was 11/2016. Last week I called him and he pretended not to know me and dropped the call, this shattered me.. I want to move on but I cant, I think about him everyday, even if he would come back now, I would fogive him and this scares me, I really want to carry on with my life and see new people but I cant.. Im stuck..

Reply March 20, 2017, 5:17 pm


I needed this article right now. My ex and I split a little over a month ago and it has been so hard to let go. We work together so that makes it even worse. I am pretty sure he is now seeing his ex before me and that is breaking my heart. I am trying to just move on and let go of what was but it is so hard when I see him everyday. We had so many issues when we were together but I truly love him and wanted to make it work. I know I have to see the value in myself and move past the hurt. Especially since he has clearly moved on. These words helped so thank you.

Reply February 20, 2017, 3:53 pm


I so needed this article tonight, it’s been two months and I still can’t get over this relationship. It wasn’t even that wonderful but every day I’m reminded of something I miss.

Reply January 24, 2017, 11:11 pm


This article was everything I needed to hear thank you so much.

Reply December 9, 2016, 2:57 am


Thank you for your on point article, for me its already been a year and though it has less of a sting its still there the pain of the break-up from a 15 year relationship. It’s quite amazing how the universe of what ever you believe, gives you these small gifts when you need them. That’s the way I feel about this article right timing, right message. I will be printing this out and in times of the heart and head disagreeing I can read this and get back to the truth. Thank you this will help a lot of people along.

Reply November 15, 2016, 10:48 am


Hi kim. Reach out to me. I myself was in a 15 year relationship and 3 months shy of it being a year since the breakup I am still hurting too.

Reply July 25, 2018, 9:08 pm


I broke up with my him it’s 2 weeks now we stayed for 3 years .I can’t stop thinking about him even for a second he is always on my mind and having sleepless nights .I need your help to overcome this fear that I will loose a guy who treats me wrong.I feel I miss him around we don’t talk to eachother going crazy am loosing my mind and thinking of going back to the wrong relationship please help me .I see him everyday at work.

Reply November 13, 2016, 11:29 pm


All of these things are exactly how I have been feeling. Reading your words is helping me figure out why this happened, that I’m not alone, and reaffirms everything wrong with what happened. I broke it off with a guy I really truly deeply admired and cared for after we had only been with each other a month. I was truly crushed by him because I thought we both cared for each other, I spent many nights with him, and made myself a part of his friend circle. I accepted his sexual wishes even though I was debasing myself. I held back on defining the relationship with the excuse that it was too early, but in reality scared he would run away. In the end he didn’t see me the same way, he told me he was moving away to SC and when I told him I wanted to continue and that SC wasn’t too far, he declined. Hurt, I realized he just wanted fun and casual -maybe I was just a piece of ass to pass the time. But I know I am a catch because my love and affection ignites others. And I have come to realize now after being burned out a few times that I KNOW now what it feels like when someone cares about me, and that my doubts are founded in reason. I KNOW now that a guy who wants me around will make an effort and make it known to me. I hate that this has affected me so much and affects me still a month after it happened. Breaking up with past boyfriends has been nothing compared with this. And I hate especially that I cannot hate him. There is just no capacity in my heart to hate him. I keep thinking about all the goodness I had with him, how much I admired his mind, body, and how he took everything upon his beautiful shoulders, and how insanely happy out of my mind I felt with him -so happy I was scared and excited by it. The days leading up to me cutting it off, I kept randomly shutting down and needing space. Not being able to do anything but lie in bed and I couldn’t sleep the night before. And the day after it happened I totaled my car by doing something stupid. I’ve been varying degrees of hot mess and total wreck since, and was finally doing better until I began seeing him again. My heart still wants him, no matter how much I beat down on it with the fact we have no future. No matter how much I’ve been hurt, I see him and I melt. I think about all the future plans we almost had, that we had discussed, and get increasingly sad. This is so unhealthy. Please, let it stop. I was fine before this whole ordeal… my heart has never been so confused…

Reply October 30, 2016, 1:43 pm


First off I want to say thank you Sabrina.

Reply October 30, 2016, 1:37 pm


I really identify with you so much. Today I broke it off for the final time. I accepted being treated horribly while I continued to give so much. People treat us this way because we allow it, we know we deserve better but we are afraid of being alone. They continue to use us and kick dirt in our face. Each day with that person kills a little more of your soul.

Reply September 6, 2016, 11:52 pm


I meant to address my earlier comment to Sarah who posted on 8/20/16. I clicked reply under her comment but it did not reply to her post, it showed up as a separate post.

Reply September 6, 2016, 11:59 pm


This article describes how I exactly feel at this point. It’s been 2 weeks since I broke up with my boyfriend. It has been so hard, I cannot explain the feelings. It’s a Rollar coaster.

This was my first relationship I loved him so much. He treated me so poorly but I accepted his behaviour I do not know why. We broke up twice before but this time it’s for good. He was so stubborn and angry. His anger used to scare me. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with his behaviour. He knew I was the sort of girl he could control. I loved him more than myself. He never appreciated me at all. He would always do want he wants, didn’t respect me at all. I was so in love with him that I forgot about myself. I sometimes think I am crazy the amount of things I have done for him. When you do so much for someone and they treat you like a door mat. I knew it was wrong being with him, I had red flat signs from before but I kept ignoring it. Something in my heart didn’t feel right. He smoked weed everyday, gambled had serious anger issues and was so stubborn. I accepted his behaviour. I thought it was normal. I was scared of being alone and no one will love me. The more I did the more advantage he took. I was so romantic treated him like a king. It makes me feel so sad. That I wasted all my time effort and money into this relationship and ended up with a broken heart. Even tho I ended it I had to. It was not right at all. I hope he realises what he lost one day. His behaviour and attitude towards me pushed me away. Other people could see it except for me. Women are just so emotional and weak we accept men treating us unfairly and that’s not right. Even after all this and his treatment towards me I still love him I don’t know why. He has made me cry and out me through a lot. He won’t treat the next girl in his life like this because he knows they won’t put up with it. I was quiet non argumentative, insecure and he saw straight through me. I keep thinking he will have a perfect life and have a prefect girl. It makes me upset I can’t stand the thought of him being with another girl. I hope I can get through hi. At times I honestly feel so down and depressed feel like ending it all. This was a toxic relationship I wish I can be strong and it gets easier.

Reply August 20, 2016, 4:20 pm


This article exactly exactly exactly describes what I am going through right now. I am so glad I came across it. Wow it is word for word perfect and I am the person they are writing about!!! Haha! I feel and did everything it says. I’m an idiot. Stupid fool. Let myself get into this situation. Brilliant article. I will keep reading it. It will help me move on. Yes I’m crying when I think about him all the other stuff the article says. So true. Every single word.
Thank you. I think this will help me a lot x

Reply July 31, 2016, 2:28 pm


I loved each and every word from this article. I have to say, this is something I needed the most at the moment. Thank you. Thank you.

Reply July 16, 2016, 12:53 pm


i have to say, this is THE best thing I’ve read about heartbreak so far in months! every word is so true for me… i can seriously relate. It’s amazing how much sense it makes but when you’re so torn up- it’s a dark devastating feeling and so hard to clear your head an your heart. So this is ‘truth’! Just remember you don’t want someone in your life that doesn’t believe in YOUR truth because they will wear you so deep down because of they’re own insecurities you loose yourself once you loose them. So realize it now before it gets there, know your worth, that is your truth… THAT is what matters!

Reply July 3, 2016, 4:37 pm


I wish I found this even 3 years ago. It would have saved me a lot of heart ache. After things ended with the love of my life I went down a terrible path of self destruction instead of confronting the reason why I thought I needed him so much. But now 5 years on, I’m ready to move on, discover who I am and fall in love with me. Thank you for this article. It is exactly what I needed to see today.

Reply July 2, 2016, 1:38 pm



Reply June 8, 2016, 2:55 pm


He didn’t told me that he had a son the moment he told me we had a fight but i broke up with him but i one week i forgive him and we talk to each other but my heart was painful. we haven’t see each other for two months .the moment I went to visit him the was a huge tension between us . so he told me he felt as I was cheating on him I refuse because I didn’t. but he said I making him a fool well I just end up apologising for the thing I didn’t been a month now we don’t talk to each other. i really miss him. What can i do because he don’t trust me and he is insecure about me.

Reply April 21, 2016, 7:35 am


I started crying to cry moments into reading this. I feel the way this article describes. I love my Chris of almost six years so much it hurts to breathe.I had the bestbsex in my life with him and he was my best friend. He stopped having much sex with me and staying gone in last three months. I stayed home taking care of his son while he ran the streets flirting and getting numbers I hear. I took a gamble to pay him back for it and stayed out one night to come home to him the kid and dog totally packed and gone. I was only gone 13 hours. How could he leave a woman who stood by him through it all. Even prison. Faithful loyal and loving even of a bitch?I feel lost scared and so utterly sad and empty. I don’t want to get out of he’d. I cry. I hear my head and heart crying out for him and it sickens me. I know he didn’t deserve me lately but the man he was months ago was great and made me feel like the world was our own. Idk how to get through the holidays without him and my stepson I raised his whole life. But I must for my two kids

Reply December 18, 2015, 1:48 am


Thank you so much for this article. I’m literally in tears after reading but I’m so glad I came across it. You have no idea how much of a blessing this is. The first person I ever fell in love with cut times with me yesterday — on the anniversary of my grandfather’s passing — and it’s been unbearable. However, your words come off as genuine, practical and encourage. I’m definitely saving it and re-reading it to help me get through this. God bless you!

Reply December 17, 2015, 11:45 am



Reply December 13, 2015, 11:49 am


Stunning article. Spot on

Reply December 3, 2015, 3:00 pm


It’s been a year now, I still think of him, I see him in my dreams.I always try to forget him but I just can’t. I just want to get better and move on.

Reply November 24, 2015, 4:20 pm

Shaimaa Jad

Hope you are better now. I am at the same place as you. I just can’t let go. He disappeared without a word. :(

Reply June 13, 2016, 9:44 pm


thiss iss sooo on Point. honestly i loved him soo much but one day he says he doesnt love me anymore like god damn it why! i mean how can someone just run out of love?! like how can u stop loving someone! and all hes like is i dont know i just dont feel the same anymore god idk what to do like how can someone do this to some other person

Reply October 29, 2015, 2:28 pm


I wanted to get some advise. But it’s not that clear where to submit my question?

Reply October 13, 2015, 2:17 pm

Yolisha moonsamy

It is good to

Reply October 12, 2015, 10:40 am


I lost my husband of 30 years 3 years ago. I’ve been involved in an exclusive relationship with a man who had also lost his long term wife. After a year he tells me he will never marry again and never wants to live together. This nearly destroyed me. For another year
We continued together. I went through periods of extreme loneliness . Finally I got the courage to move on. I’m 60 and terrified but I’d rather be alone than lonely.

Reply September 27, 2015, 4:24 pm


As usual, Sabrina – you’re a rock star! Thanks for the insights and helpful in getting me over the transition. May you keep up with the great work:)

Reply September 18, 2015, 11:07 am

karen cruise

I remember having a boyfriend that did not put up a fight on the breakup I feel betrayed is that normal

Reply July 27, 2015, 10:38 pm

Emma Driscoll

Thanks very much for sharing your insights Sabrina, thought that article was very well written with much truth to it! Funny when it comes to the tricks our minds can so easily play on us. Being aware of how and why is very important I think!

Reply May 11, 2015, 6:42 am


Thanks for another amazing article, Sabrina.

Reply May 1, 2015, 10:27 am


I remember where at times I held onto the the relationship thinking it was my last one. I gave my all only to be crashed and shattered when I got myself together. It was horrid. I watched and when she got with someone who sent red flags I tried to tell her he was bad. She didn’t believe me as things spiraled down I was willing to kill myself and give her all I had cause I would in life. However an angel prayed stopping me from killing myself and then when I told her I was she who loved me said you kill yourself I die too. It did cycle to hatrid at my ex. I felt like she threw me away but years later I come to find she came to her senses and is now with a good guy just as I’m with my angel. I sold myself so much my ego didn’t mean shit and the healing I was getting fell to the bottom

Reply April 26, 2015, 12:32 am

Jennifer M.

Good stuff Sabrina. I need to read this article at least once a day right now. It’s very slobbering and wholesome. Thank you!!

Reply February 12, 2015, 11:52 am


thanks alot sabrina …ur words are so true and realistic about relationd ..i rnjoy reading ur articles

Reply September 30, 2014, 3:37 pm


1 & 3. :/

Reply July 7, 2014, 9:57 pm


Thank you Sabrina ! You are so smart ! I m just wondering why we don’t teach these kind of things in school early on? It could save us a lot of heartache.

Reply June 14, 2014, 4:28 pm


Number 4 is me….ugh!

Reply June 9, 2014, 12:00 pm


Thanks Sabrina. I can see some answers to my questions in love life. I appreciate that.

Reply June 8, 2014, 10:22 pm


First of all, this article is amazing! I wish I had stumble across it years ago.
I have felt all of those seven things myself. Looking at the past, all of my exes have incredibly wrong for me, but for some reason I wanted it to work. Wether they were filling a void in my life, or I thought my worth was determined by the fact that I had a guy with me (although I never really had them), or I was addicted to the feelings of intimacy or just in love with the idea of being in love.

The fact is that a lot of the heartache you feel after a breakup feels a lot like an addicted in rehab. Like Sabrina says, you feel like you can not go on a day without your fix, so you feel like life is much better with that person in it, even though you´re not really meant to be. Also, I realized that you feel terrible after a breakup because you wanna be the person that is meant to be for the other person. The thought of not being their match is heartbreaking, beacuse you keep thinking you were not good enough for them even when you love them so much (or at least you think you love them).

My first great dissapointment was when I was 18yo. It took me like 3 years to get over him, but the fact is that I was too young and didn`t know that much about men, relationships and life itself. So, I went of thinking that no other man would make me feel like ke did, or that I would never love with the same passion again. Truth is he was a lier and a cheater.

Now, I`m 28yo, and over the years I have learned to value myself above anything else. You can say I have become a little selfish, with my time and my life and who I let into it. It`s easier said then done, but when you`ve been on so many bad relationships you learn a few lessons. So, I have learned to not sell myself short, to not accept crapy behavior just to keep the relationship going.

I encourage every women out there reading this to never think they`re not good enough, to never stay in a bad relationship just to be able to say they are with a man, to never think they will never survive without a man in their lives. If someone is not giving you what you really want, confront them, if they`re not ready/willing/able to give it to you, then move on. It always hurts at first, but we always make it through. Guaranteed. And usually something better always comes along.

Reply June 8, 2014, 3:43 pm


For me it’s 1, 4, 5 and 6..
Thanks for the author of this “A New Mode”…
God bless you more and more..

Reply June 7, 2014, 9:30 am


I really honestly don’t know which one applies to me. When we broke up it had nothing to do with the relationship. We had a wonderful relationship. He just started to change and that is what started to put a strain on the relationship. He just stopped doing everything he used to do while I tried to continue regardless of how he operated. He began pulling himself away from me and before you know it I was hearing the words “it’s over” and “it not you it’s me”. Totally devastated. All he said was that he needed to deal with some issues he had been pushing aside inside of him and he needed to do it alone without worrying about hurting me. I was hurt anyway. Still hurting. I knew I loved him. Even his quirks. I didn’t give up anything I enjoyed and even when he wasn’t around I knew how to enjoy myself. I still had a relationship with my friends and family even though I really enjoyed spending time with him. So what’s the difference here?

Reply June 6, 2014, 7:44 am


All 7 of these are true for me. I met my ex a year ago. Our one year anniversary would have been this month. He was my manager at work and he had this really mean tough exterior about him , but one day out of the blue I started liking him. I won’t lie. At first it was a sexual feeling. I really just wanted to know what it would be like to have sex with him. I know that was the first problem. Then we started talking and a month later we made love for the first time. By then I was deeply infatuated with him. I was 20 at the time and he was 36, when my mom found out she was mad at me because I still lived with her and had invited him over while she was out of town so of course we argued about it and I moved out shortly after due to other reason’s. Me and him started dating two weeks after our first time. We had amazing times together. And it was even better that I could see him at work almost everyday. We could never keep our hands off of each other and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Then my 21st birthday came and I didnt hear from him all day. His excuse was he was in the hospital. But I just shrugged it off. We argued but thats what most couples do. We talked about getting married and having a child together and we even stopped wearing condoms so I could get pregnant. I know it was stupid but I didnt care because I loved him that much. I had turned into the dumb chick in the movies. Everyone could tell we were in live and ppl would tell me they were jelouse of us. Then one day he finally spent the night with me for the first time. I never thought it was weired before that he never spent the night because he worked the over night shift, and he would go home and sleep on his off days and I didnt questio. That because we saw each other at work all the time. But this particular night everything felt wrong. And then when he woke uo at 7am to leave I knew something was off. After he left I emailed him (my cell phone was broken) and I told him that I felt like he was hiding something from me. I didnt know what it was but I just wanted him to tell me. The funny thing is God had been giving me clues for weeks but Ignored them. An hour after I emailed him, my mon called me and told me that his wife contacted her. I could not believe that he was married, with two kids already, but all the signs were there. I felt stupid for not seeing them. I cried for a month over him, and I missed him soo much, so I got back with him. I wasnt ok with being his sideline hoe but my dignity was gone. I was willing to do anythong to have him. So we kept talking behind his wife’s back. But things weren’t the same. He got more jealous and possessive and I kept going back and fourth wi th my heart and concious. I knew he was wrong for me and I wasnt the woman that I had become over him. So last week I broke uo with him again. Now I regret it because my heart aches for him, but I know im better then that. after reading this article I realize I feel all 7 of these things. Reading it hasn’t made the pain magically disappear, but it does help me try to move on with my life. Thanks Sabrina for your advice!

Reply June 5, 2014, 4:43 pm


great article with a lot of truth. as i am rebuilding my life, the ex who wanted out wants to be friends and will check in every other day and that makes me feel lousy when he vanishes again! when he shows concern, i don’t know in what capacity he is doing so. i need to toughen up!

Reply June 5, 2014, 1:09 pm


I think my situation is a combo of #5 and a little of #7, still trying to accept that we broke up…last time we actually saw each other was January, broke up in February….but also the occasional texting back and forth doesn’t really help.

Reply June 5, 2014, 3:14 am


I miss the way he made me feel…but am glad am single, I get to do my own thing.

Reply June 5, 2014, 3:01 am


I have to say that if someone has to read ONE THING about break-ups, this has to be it. I have experienced several of them and they are all true and real.

Reply June 4, 2014, 2:59 pm

Renaiza Basaluddin

Its my first to read ur pages its so nice very helpful.

Reply June 4, 2014, 12:54 pm


Hi ,
THIS is my first time on ur page.
To be very honest , “the way he makes me feel , and don’t know if I will find someone like him” .

Reply June 4, 2014, 10:11 am


Hi Sharon,

Am so grateful and pleased with your articles…to my surprise its like you know what i have been through or what am going through right now. I recently got involved with
a Portuguese man a month ago…we are currently working together on a road project here in zambia tho he is on the contractors side and am on the consultancy side…however we both living in the same camp in that we have different nationalities from Africa, England and Portugal till the next two years when the project ends…we started on a good note but things went bad some two weeks ago when he asked me for sex of which i refused for obvious reasons that it was so early for me for we need to know each other well…for me its not a priority cos i ve been disappointed several times…since then he does not talk to me nor pick my calls or we do is say ‘hi’ wen we meet during working hours…apparently all he does is passing close to my outside office window when going for his lunch etc…again he is been seen with some girls around this area…probably sleeping with them…I should confess i loved this person and one hurting thing is that we are in the same camp and seeing or hearing some bad staff about him really disturbs me and my work suffers at times…reading your articles will definately change my altitude towards relationships…am tired of being hurt and bumping into wrong men…

Thank you


Reply June 4, 2014, 11:42 am


inspiring and guiding..thanks
..yes..most women think that “it is their fault..that maybe they are not good enough”.

Reply June 4, 2014, 8:04 am

Amy Thatcher

This artical has hit home for me…Thank you ! :)

Reply June 4, 2014, 7:58 am


Hey thanx I’ll take yo advices.

Reply June 4, 2014, 7:22 am

Akinyi Brenda

I had given up on myself, wanted to be him all the time.

Reply June 4, 2014, 2:35 am


Circumstances separated us and fourteen years later, though married with kids, I still long to be with him

Reply June 4, 2014, 2:22 am


I think i ‘all never find someone like him

Reply June 4, 2014, 2:13 am


I’ m met this guy four years ago we hit it off start dating and 4 months down the road we made it official to be together a year later he told me he wanted to marry me and he treated my kids as if they were his own everything was great we were both so happy that we had met each other and he even had said I am glad that the last guy screwed up I went and now have his initials tattooed on me with a red rose about two years later he started lying to me cheating on me with my friend who is not my friend anymore, playing head games with me as well as becoming really controlling, so I left him, said goodbye and all in December of 2013 that was the last time I text him to leave him, he kept sending me messages until this month in June of 2014 he wouldn’t give up even though I wasn’t responding to him at all, I finally messaged him back, called him out and told him off and he still keeps messaging me, it’s so hard because I am in love with him and no matter how hard I try and I let him know I’m not coming back he always keeps coming back and I want to be with him but he is already starting to be controlling again and I have no problems with confronting him and calling him out I just don’t know what to do because I am in love with him and want to be with him but I don’t want him to be the way he is. I have even given him ultimatum. I feel I can’t move on because of the way that I feel about him, I feel like I am cheating on him even though we’re not back together. I’m not sure what I fit categories I fit into here. Please help me I’m confused on weather he really does love me and wants to be with me, or if he doesn’t care at all. He’s never hit me.

Reply June 4, 2014, 1:52 am


I met him on a job and he was lost to a terrible disease. It’s been over a year. I’m a very visual creature. I don’t have a self worth problem. I can not find anyone else as beautiful on the outside and inside. Nice but average looking guys just don’t turn me on. There is no spark. I have no dating experience and it’s not something that sounds fun for me. I am old fashioned and finicky… don’t know what to to about it. Friends and family can not help. Can not afford expensive therapy and counseling either. I feel doomed to be alone.
I can not hug and kiss myself even with self love. I miss that so much.

Reply June 3, 2014, 11:25 pm


I appreciate this article because I suffered from all of those points with the exception of no.2. I felt as though I would never find anyone like him nor as good. However, we were together for 4 years and it took me nearly 18 months to get over him. I was over the moon for him however he was all wrong for me. It wasn’t until we broke up and I stopped wanting him that I truly saw who he was. Selfish, rude, uncaring, unkind manipulative. Not any qualities that I want to see in any person that I allow on my circle let alone from the man I share my bed with every night. So thank you for reminding me of these things. I am currently seeing someone but because I opened up my eyes to see I know what things to look and what things not to tolerate.
Thanks again.

Reply June 3, 2014, 11:09 pm


1,2, and 4 omg I miss him soo much I feel like crying and there is nothing I can do except tell myself that he’s gonna be back just for me cause he just left everyone without telling anyone where he went not even me. It’s been 2 1/2 weeks now since he has been gone and I can’t stop crying his sister was like Love leave it he’s a prick and get over it but the truth is this that I can’t it’s just too hard. And loving a guy for a whole year and leaving him is way too hard expecially if he was the first boyfriend you ever had. I miss him soo much. :'(

Reply June 3, 2014, 11:03 pm

Marrisa Guerrero

I moved on took 5yrs but we now talk here and there see each other I do miss him the old him but I don’t see us getting back together. I know all his flaws and all his goods I accept him for who he truly is. People actually judge me cause I say I still love him. If he were to ever accept me for all of me and wanted to try again I would because I know I love him for who he is even when everybody thinks he is bad for me or just a bad guy. But I don’t linger in missing him I don’t make seem needy. And really when he pushes me away to if I’ll bag him to stay. I don’t and that bothers him because yes I use to ask him to never leave me but with the break up we had n the time to heal and find myself again I realized I don’t need him to live or full whole or even love. I actually have a hard time from even my family accepting me for who I really am there always something they complain about or want me to change about myself. I feel I don’t belong with anybody but myself. I have hope in there is a great gut that’s meant for me and will accept me flaws and all. But I do have a hard time with dating and finding a partner.
I feel all I attract are men who want to cheat or have a 3way relationship that’s where they are with me and living with me but also have a other woman and she also lives with us. I get men that lie to me and really well but I end up finding out they are married or have been with a other woman before me for a very long time. I feel like maybe it’s me I don’t know. But I know I’m a great woman and the men tell me it’s wasn’t my fault because before I did tend to say it was me it’s was something I done. But now I’m confident it’s not me but how do I find the right man.

Reply June 3, 2014, 9:25 pm

Robin C.

You absolutely hit the nail on the head.

Reply June 3, 2014, 8:32 pm


yes! that so true.. I’m on that “complicated” situation, but now I realize and I know what should I do.. Thank you :)

Reply June 3, 2014, 8:23 pm


I am not in a relationship, but I want to be. I’m open to love, very down to earth and caring. I really think that I’m hoping on the wrong type of guys…they have been in long relationships or married and they are a bit damaged. I’ve never been married, hope to one day. Most times I feel like a dinosaur in the wrong era. I take sex out the picture and want to spend time , get to to really know a person. Seems that it’s not the thing to do now a days. I’m just refocusing my energy…i read, workout, work, and stay connected to family and friends. I walk in faith and keep my heart, eyes and ears open. But I love the info I get from New Mode, it answers a lot of questions and enlightens me. Great jobs you guys. Oh, I am a number 4. I withdrawal into myself.

Reply June 3, 2014, 6:56 pm


I’ve been in a toxic relationship for 7 months. He’s lied repeatedly and cheated. All of the reasons applied to me in this article until this morning after reading it. I’m so done with him! I deserve better than what little he has given me and put into our so called relationship. I’m a great woman and when the right man comes along he will treat me right and cherish me and value me. Thank you so much for your articles. You have no idea how valuable they’ve been to me.

Reply June 3, 2014, 5:49 pm


Now officially guilty of all 7! Most recently number 3. I never thought I’d make that mistake but it’s been a learning experience for me. Thanks Sabrina for this article. Good food for thought :)

Reply June 3, 2014, 5:48 pm


Or, the sex was so great — maybe he (at first) got you to connect with a side of yourself that had been hidden i.e. female ejaculation.

And, you projected certain qualities in him that he simply DID NOT HAVE; but merely reflected back at you.

These two.

Reply June 3, 2014, 5:48 pm


Thanks, all your points are so true. I didn’t realise how much it’s the feeling of bring desired I miss, and also about selling out yourself to unacceptable behaviour. It’s do true it’s the great void you made in your life that you let one person fill, that makes it seem so devastating , like everything has been taken away from uou. It took me years, I wish I had read such a well thought out and clear article earlier.

Reply June 3, 2014, 5:41 pm


Like you Mona,
it took me YEARS, 8 to be exact before I walked away from a man who had absolutely no intentions of being with me long term! I can laugh now that it’s been 61/2 years later. But it hurt like HELL when I was in it. The kicker is I thought he was one of the “nice guys”! I dated him thinking YES a change from the aggressive, insecure, unavailable morons that I had dated in the past. And while he didn’t do something of the things that they did. His antics was just as bad! I remember feeling so “important” that he would chose to be with me! Plus he was from a race who didn’t date outside their race. So that really made me feel like he has to really like me then! Nothing could have been further from the truth! He NEVER intended on actually being with me. And “SELLING OUT YOURSELF TO UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR”! yep this was me! I COULD NOT BELIEVE THAT I LET MY STANDARDS DROP THAT LOW!!!!!! One time he said to me over the phone “I HATE that I love you”! It really took me some time to get over that! When you are completely IN LOVE with someone and they say something like that to you. It CRUSHES YOUR HEART! I knew I had to leave this man before I did something I would have regretted. Good riddance, leaving was the BEST thing I could have done for myself. And the thing I’m MOST PROUD OF is when I left I NEVER LOOKED BACK!:) But the CHERRY ON TOP was when he called back BEGGING for a “second Chance”.!LOL Please I told him he ran out of second chances a LONG TIME AGO!

Reply August 6, 2015, 2:29 pm


I do not know how I got on this mailing list, but I am thankful for it. I just read 5 articles that made sense, starting with this one. The information in the articles is no different than from what my good friends and therapist have been telling me. But somehow, reading the information struck me as truth. I emailed the articles to myself to read again. Thank you. I now realize that my self esteem was completely leveled by this man I thought I could not live without. It was slowly and suddenly at times, shredded away from me. I am left as an empty shell absolutely hating the whole idea of having to love myself. I have a lot of work to do before I become involved with another man. Thank you. Cathy

Reply June 3, 2014, 4:35 pm


To be honest, , I never falling love to someone ever thanks for that advice. .

Reply June 3, 2014, 4:19 pm


I was d one who ended it coZ it merely was getting reprimanded, misinterpreted, crying , hurting me every day. I had had enough n so had to end it when I realised there is no point to just drag a relationship. I did love him n expected of him a lil respect. . . But it never happened! Ah! I miss him alot but I cudnt mar my self esteem just to be with him. Still I don’t wanna be with anyone else n not even with him…

Reply June 3, 2014, 4:13 pm


It’s not till you read something like this article that you can find the excuse to reflect back.. God I really was miserable with him, he made me feel stressed all the time, I was so anxious of his infidelity that I ignored it.. I really knew inside me he was.. What a fool I was.. It wasn’t me that wasn’t good enough, I see that now.. He made me miserably unhappy and I pined for him! Actually makes me laugh now.. I was and am too good for that and him… Thank you Sabrina!!!

Reply June 3, 2014, 3:36 pm


well I’ll go wid 1n 3 in my case!! n I’m over him!! luckily;)

Reply June 3, 2014, 3:15 pm


I am the first one. Thought there will never be someone better than him :-(

Reply June 3, 2014, 3:08 pm


Numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 7! But the funny thing is we weren’t even official and I was the one that ended it! I miss him so much and I’ve been in constant battle with myself thinking “did I make a mistake, maybe over thought the whole situation? Or did I do the right thing because I wasn’t being treated fairly?” We were together for almost 4 months and I ended it but now I’m feeling regret and missing him. Should I try and get him back? Or focus on me? Plus even if I did try, how would I go about it and how do i do it? And would he even come back if I tried?

Reply June 3, 2014, 3:03 pm


(4) I miss the way he made me feel. I can see that it was not a good match and we we’re not to be together. It took a while to move forward but I am starting to and I am looking for someone else. He is a good man and loving just not meant for me. It was a good 3 years and I know I deserve better. I will always love him to a point. We will both find the right person for us. We are still friends and will always remain friends.

Reply June 3, 2014, 2:55 pm

natasha moona

Tnx Sabrina. .. exactly how I felt!

Reply June 3, 2014, 2:50 pm


Thank you Sabrina! My boyfriend of 2 and a half years broke up with me just over 3 weeks ago and all of these apply to me! Thank you for helping me see the way to move on ????

Reply June 3, 2014, 2:47 pm


thanks sabrina….ur points are very true for me.
except for 1st and 2nd points i think all the others are true for me
what i m mostly frustrated about is the time i wasted for him and how i ruined 4 important yrs of my life which were so important for my career build up. Another thing is that i m not hopeless that i wont find anybody better than him but i m much more eager to get this empty place filled in my life ASAP…that sounds like a desperate person but along with that i m afraid of getting hurt again…
what to do ?? how to cope up ?? plz help

Reply June 3, 2014, 2:45 pm


thanks sabrina

Reply June 3, 2014, 2:39 pm


You forgot that surge of seratonin that you are ues to getting from being with him, is now gone. Its actually a physical brain chemistry drain that happens and we sell oursleves short to believe its all about self esteem and behavior.

Reply June 3, 2014, 2:30 pm

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