5 Ways to Be Irresistible to Men post image

5 Ways to Be Irresistible to Men

Being irresistible to men isn’t about playing games, manipulation, or forcing yourself to be someone you’re not. It’s not about what you wear or achieving a certain beauty look.

Being the kind of girl who intrigues a man to the point of real interest, and interests a man to the point where he is eager to commit, starts from within and then radiates outward. It’s important to have an awareness of what it is men want and also an understanding of why developing these traits will not only help you in dating and relationships, but will make your life better overall.

Over the years, I’ve analyzed and interviewed countless men. Through my research, I’ve discovered five traits that men across the board find irresistible in a woman. Learning what they are will help you attract the right guy if you’re single, and will help you re-ignite the spark if you’re already in a relationship.

Here they are:

1. Be Confident

This one is the winner every time. Guys want a confident, happy woman. A woman who loves herself, knows her worth, and knows she can get what she wants in this world.

Healthy self-esteem is a prerequisite for healthy relationships. It gives you the confidence to choose who to be with and to believe someone worthwhile will want to be with you.

If you have low self-esteem, make it a priority to work on this. Learn to find more joy and meaning in your life. Until you get there, act like someone with high self-esteem. This means not being jealous of other people, not needing guys to validate you, not putting yourself down and complaining about your life.

Try to maintain a vision of who you want to be, and what confidence looks like, and try to act accordingly.

MORE: 11 Ways to Find True Happiness

2. Be a Mystery

The only way to turn attraction into passion is to insert your way into a man’s thoughts. This doesn’t mean wearing something revealing so he’s picturing you naked while talking to you. It means making a strong impression, one that leaves him unable to stop thinking about you for days.

The best way to do this is to be a little mysterious. He doesn’t need your whole life story right off the bat. Part of the excitement of starting a new relationship is the discovery process, it’s that desire to know more and more about the other person. The human mind loves to fill in missing gaps and the unknown always has a certain level of intrigue.

Studies have shown that we are most attracted to people when we don’t know exactly how they feel about us. If he knows exactly where you stand he may get bored and move on. If he knows he doesn’t have a chance, he won’t want to bother. If he thinks he might have a chance,  you’ll have his full attention.

3. Be Easy to be Around- No Drama

Men like their lives to be easy and pleasant, no muss no fuss. The biggest turn off to a guy is a drama queen who makes mountains out of every molehill.

The way guys see it, they have enough stress in their lives as is and a relationship should be an escape from that.

If you’re cool and easy to be around, men will want to be around you!

Smile, relax, don’t over think or overanalyze. If you can take a more easygoing approach to relationships (and life in general), then suddenly, and without much effort, things will start to work out how you want them to.

4. Embrace Your Femininity

Most men want to feel like the man. The best way to encourage this is to embrace your femininity. Tap into your soft, gentle, graceful side, we all have it in us somewhere.

I know today’s society encourages women to be bold, tough, and aggressive. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be a strong woman, I’m just saying to temper this out a bit by not neglecting your femininity.

Men want to be the providers, they want to feel like the man. If you dress like a girl, act like a girl, and let him take care of you a bit, you’ll tap into a deep fundamental need of his and he won’t want to let you go.

MORE: 5 Things Every Girls Needs to Know About Men

5. Have Your Own Life

A man’s greatest fear is losing his freedom and being trapped in a relationship. Men pick up on how much you need them and instantly feel pressured and back off.

If you have your own life (and maintain the life you had before the relationship once you’re in it), he won’t feel this pressure and will give more of himself to you.

No matter what stage of a relationship you’re in, it’s essential to remain passionate about your life and to never stop setting goals for yourself and pursuing your dreams. A relationship isn’t a final destination. It’s part of the journey that can help you reach your potential and get exactly what it is you want out of life.

MORE: 5 Things Every Man Wants in a Woman

I hope this article helped you understand what men find irresistible. But it takes more than that to have a lasting relationship. At some point, a guy will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to commit myself to? The answer will determine everything. Do you know how a man decides a woman is “girlfriend material” as opposed to “fling material”? Do you know what inspires a man to want to commit? If not, you need to read this article next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman

Here is another issue almost every woman will face: He starts to withdraw and seems to be losing interest. He doesn’t text back, he is less attentive, and something is just off. He seems like he’s pulling away and you might lose him completely— do you know what to do about it? If not, read this right now If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...

This is How to Be Irresistible to Men:

  1. Be Confident
  2. Be a Mystery
  3. Be Easy to be Around- No Drama
  4. Embrace Your Femininity
  5. Have Your Own Life
Young handsome man whisper to his gorgeous woman while have romantic dinner and drinking wine on valentines day

Written by Sabrina Alexis

I’m Sabrina Alexis, the co-founder, and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing relatable, insightful articles that help people understand relationship dynamics and how to get the love they want. I have a degree in psychology and have spent the last 10 years interviewing countless men and reading and studying as much as I can to better understand human psychology and how men operate. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Instagram.

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What about the guy thinks I am aloof and complained of my communication? Because I am away from my phone a lot. He seems like the type who appreciates his own space but he does always respond very fast to my texts and keep the conversation open…

For my part i get overwhelmed and need to pull away and recharge which I told him. I am confident and have a life, very full plate.

He’s fine with that but says he’s cautious to come meet me because I might disappear for days , which is not something I’d ever Really do. Texting is different than a plan to meet!!! I understand his reason but I want him to take more control by reciprocating my excitement to meet instead of making assumptions about my erratic texts.

Is this an excuse?

I feel like he wants me to be more vulnerable but I have already put myself out there and he is holding back. I don’t want to have to reassure him. It feels like he likes me for an ego boost.

Also I am concerned it will kill attraction, for me as well as for him. I almost feel like he wants me to reassure him but will then be less attracted to me if I do…I feel desperate as a woman trying to convince him we should meet again (it’s been a long time) like ugggh I already initiated by reaching out again. And he is not sure I want to meet him???

This is a sexy handsome successful man! Makes no sense

But I don’t know if stopping texting him is good. Because he might really be unsure I like him and not want to be a “chump”

I do really like him but I am afraid of enmeshment.

Reply January 9, 2020, 6:50 pm


nice one, have your own life and your friends too…so the relationship won’t choke him

Reply September 22, 2016, 7:57 am


You are right I don’t know what I want but honestly very few people really do, besides the common wants of being content with life and satisfied. Which i already am. All I know is I enjoy your company and personslity, and I think about you often. Life is life and it takes you in so many directions and paths, there is a reason for everything that happens and a reason for the people you meet in it as well. Don’t be scared Jonny of anything. Im not going to beg you or plead I’m happy being a friend. I am still down to take you to Boise to find a car, I like being able to spend time with you.

Reply January 3, 2016, 12:20 pm


Hi There This certainly is great advice for women. They are all great points but As A man I love the confidence, the mystery and the fact that she has her own life. It makes her come off as a mysterious non needy person and its very attractive. We love women That are with us but dont need us. It’s Such A turn On.I have many related posts like this one on my site if its ok with the site owner I would like To leave My website.

Thank You

Reply March 18, 2015, 1:41 pm


I have a boyfriend that we meet 10 months ago 4 myths into the relationship we moved in together we hit it off very well at first we were so compatible with each other well the last couple of month I notice that he stays on the Internet for hrs at a time I found out that he is on line with other women. Telling them all how much he loves them and how they made his day because he spoke to them and he don’t know what he would do without them in his life and how beautiful that they are and one day they will be together he starts off his conversation with hello my beautiful wife this is to more than one one day his Internet didn’t work so he blamed me he was truly upset said I had no reason to be upset or jealous because these women are over seas and it was fun to him but I asked him what was more important me or those sabers pace hoes he laid right in the bed beside me continuing to interact with them. I have treating to leave and he ask like he doesn’t care but then walks around like he is a lost puppy and say things like I font know who’s going to cook for me now or I guess I have to wash my own clothes and why do I want to break up a happy home but he doesn’t see it is not a happy home when he is the only one happy in the home he now complains about my weight which when he meet me I was the same size I’m not fat I just have a belly.he is more fussy about things then before he says he doesn’t like my hair now it is the same way when we first met if I make a comment about him being a dirty olé man being on those sites getting these young girls to send him pictures he gets afendent he says why can’t i let him have his fun i told him because it takes away from us he is more focus on them then me we start off watching a movie together than he drift of to his computer with them when we have conversations it’s like nothing i say interest him but he could be on line texting back and forth all night now it has gotten even worse he is doing voice text now we’re they talk to each other i want to leave but when we are paying attention to one another we have so much fun. I to play his game started to get on line and chat with other men he tries not to show jealousy but it eventually comes out now if it’s OK for you why not me he has become do insecure that i am going to leave him i am trying to get myself together to leave I’m working more to be able to save to make that move he says everything has his season and that to will pass but i feel neglected by him and i don’t think i should stand by on the sidelines and wait for no man to sort his wild oats i know pyshically he’s not cheating but he is so hooked on these chatting sites what do i do

Reply December 9, 2014, 3:20 am


Vickie, one of the most important parts in a relationship is loyalty and trust. It is obvious he doesn’t care as much about you as he should because it is disrespectful to look at other people’s pictures and flirt with them while you are dating someone else. He isn’t respecting your thoughts on it and we can tell he doesn’t love you. This is a toxic relationship that you can not fix, and need to get out of. Sorry.

Reply March 31, 2017, 4:49 pm


It’s been less than a year? Just move out and move on

Why are you cooking and doing his cleaning? Does he pay your bills?

This sounds like a relationship based on using each other rather than loving each other

Reply January 9, 2020, 6:54 pm


What if the guy tells you ohh guess who likes you(: you ask who? chewbacca? Making it a joke right then he says well your on the right track? (: then your likw ohh so who might this be and he ends up saying its another co worker? what to do? help please

Reply August 5, 2014, 6:31 am


There’s this guy who’s older than me. I’m 20 and he’s like 29 or 30.. I’m not really sure whether he likes me or not. he’s done some things that made me think he does but sometimes I think maybe I’m reading him wrong and thinking what I want to happen. He smiles at me quite a lot, teases me about the way I speak, initiates conversation in person, compliments pictures of me, has asked to dance with me at a wedding, and says things like its good seeing you. I’m just assuming or does he like me? Btw we don’t talk on the phone. Please help.

Reply January 30, 2014, 5:14 am


Of course he likes you. Guys rarely do anything for girls they dont like.

Reply April 21, 2014, 8:43 pm


i been married over 10 years now my husband i believe he must be gay because he dont care for sex at all with me nor does he like oral sex either with me, but anyways i ask for a divorce which he told me he will give me it when i find a man that wants to marry me because i am 18 years younger than him. So now i have been dating online for the past year trying to get to know guys i came across one that i find to be quite jealous of other men commenting on photos on facebook etc etc, i do like him alot but he keeps getting angry at me an would speak to me every two months, now i live in a different country he is from the usa california, now i just find that he is a high risk relationship an i certainly cannot afford to lose out if he has a problem with me. I surprised myself at refusing to meet him when i am going newyork because if a guy says maybe if i am good enough or meet his expectations only then he will take me away to his state, i cannot risk losing everything because i am in a process of getting a divorce everything i have back in my country if everyone knows that this guy comes into my life an then leaves after sex an tells me well i dont meet his expectations i would be embarrassed so i rather not meet him at all not in this manner, if he wanted to do it in a more discreet way until he is sure he wants me for marriage then fine so do u all think i did the right thing by protecting myself in this way?

Reply September 6, 2013, 11:02 pm


There really is no one size fits all when it comes to relationship advice. The very best thing you can do for yourself and your significant other is to be yourself. That means discovering your inner purpose, your inner wisdom, and inner strength. It means personal development and working on yourself to become the highest version of you, the best version of you that you can possibly be.

It means being real. Being vulnerable. Having feelings. Telling him the truth of how you feel and not playing any games. Because when a person is insincere or is playing games, people can smell it from a mile away.

It means being positive and and recognizing your own worth and your own value.

To thine own self be true.

Reply September 3, 2013, 7:52 pm


I agree with the advice above. However, I met couples in which the woman was bossy, controlling, emasculating, a drama queen, emasculating, and not very demonstrate. Yet these women had managed to find husbands who worshipped the ground that they walked on and loved them in spite of their faults.

Go figure!?!

Reply September 2, 2013, 9:29 am


Many men will fall in love with big boobs, a firm butt and a small hip to waist ratio despite the personality of that HB10. Then it’s too late.

Long term men will leave a woman like that who emasculates him or he will cheat (come to think of it, they will cheat even if you’re perfect because biologically they need to spread their seed and who are we to come between nature LMAO)

Reply April 21, 2014, 8:46 pm


What do I do if my husband is asexual ? Which means he is not interested in sex at all. Please help.

Reply August 29, 2013, 9:43 pm


This is awesome! Nice site, great article! Instantly got addicted reading some more :)

Reply August 28, 2013, 5:34 pm


Hi monika,

That sounds so awful! In my mind, your husband needs to know you’d be willing to walk away from him if his behavior doesn’t stop. You deserve so much better than that crap.

He might or might not change but I think you shouldn’t just accept that kind of behavior.

Reply August 26, 2013, 7:37 pm


“Be Easy to be Around- No Drama
Men like their lives to be easy and pleasant, no muss no fuss. The biggest turn off to a guy is a drama queen who makes mountains out of every molehill.”

A lot of expert advice from men and women say this, and I agree. It makes sense to be easygoing but don’t be a doormat either. However then why is it that most of the women I know who have no problem finding relationships make a big deal about more things than I do, are more aggressive than me, like to curse, cause drama and their men feel like they have to run in circles all the time for them? It also seems as though in the past, when I caused drama with men it sparked more interest in the man if he wasn’t paying attention than how I handle things now with more feminine grace. But that aggressive dramatic nature felt unnatural to me because that isn’t who I really am. I just thought men preferred the drama. Am I just spending time with the wrong guys who are insecure and prefer a dramatic woman over an easygoing one?

Reply August 26, 2013, 4:49 pm


This is great Sabrina, am so used to being strong all my life sometimes i forget to be the girl. thanks for the reminder

Reply August 26, 2013, 3:41 pm


hi sabrina. I like the passage you’ve sent,i have a question, how can a woman be happy if her husband have secrits and how can she be confident if he contact his ex girls and hide it? What can i do to never chase after other women again? Please help?

Reply August 26, 2013, 2:28 pm


Great article Sabrina! ANM always gives awesome advice and I look forward to your and Eric’s posts. I learned that being feminine, stress-free, drama-free, but with boundaries, self-respect, real character and true integrity, then your man needs YOU! And when he does commit himself fully, that’s when you let go of your emotions and ‘romantic barriers’ – bit by bit, little by little. Maybe that’s the mystery you were talking about :) I never knew what “leave some for yourself” meant – but thank goodness I’m older and wiser now – and you and Eric have a huge part to play in my adult maturity! Besos y abrazos!

Reply August 26, 2013, 12:30 pm


This is great advice..Simple to follow guidelines. Ladies, if your man does not appreciate your behaving this way towards him and your relationship , then you need to leave very quickly, because he obviously does not understand the importance of having such a wonderful woman.
I am almost 50 years old, it has taken me the best part of 30 years to master this technique, and here it is in a list format for you to use..

Reply August 26, 2013, 11:50 am

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