11 Undeniable Signs He’s In Love With You post image

11 Undeniable Signs He’s In Love With You


He loves me … he loves me not … if only finding the answer were as simple as plucking petals off a flower. So what makes it so hard to determine if a man truly loves you?

A lot of us have ideas about what love should be, what it should look like, and how it should feel. A lot of the time these ideas are plain wrong (we can thank romantic comedies for that). Because of that, some of us might not recognize the real thing when it comes our way. Maybe it’s because of these grand visions of love that have been implanted in our minds, but it could also be the result of being burned too many times in the past and having walls up when it comes to either giving love or being able to receive it.

The point is, love is a tricky thing. A guy can say he loves you and not truly mean it, and a guy can love you a lot but not be ready to say it. Love, as beautiful as it is, can also be scary, and a lot of us keep our guard up until we’re sure he feels a certain way in order to keep from getting hurt. As the saying goes, before you fall in love, make sure there is someone there to catch you. The trouble with this is that when you get caught up in trying to figure out if a man loves you, you can no longer be present in the relationship. Instead of connecting, you are stuck in your own worried thoughts, and those thoughts produce fears and insecurities that ultimately block you from getting the love you want.

So how do you know if a man is truly in love with you? If he shows these 11 signs, then it’s pretty safe to say he is.

1. The way he looks at you.

He looks at you like you’re a unicorn, like he can’t believe you exist. He may even come right out and tell you, “I can’t believe someone like you exists.” It isn’t a look of lust and desire. Instead, it’s marked by a certain awe, serenity, and inner calm. It’s a look reserved only for you. It’s not only the way he looks at you; it’s the frequency. He can’t stop looking at you; whether you’re together or across the room from each other, his gaze will always be oriented toward you.

2. He wants to give to you.

Real love is about giving, not taking. This is why parents typically love their children more than their children love them. You would think it would be the opposite. From birth through our teenage years (and sometimes beyond!) kids take and parents give. Every parent will tell you that you never know real love until you have a child, and that’s because this kind of love is all about giving.

When you love someone, you want to give that person everything you have. This isn’t about material possessions. You want to give by being the best you can, you want to make them happy, to enhance their life, you want to do things for them that will make them happy.

Love isn’t merely a feeling; it’s a verb and it comes across in actions. The biggest action that indicates a man loves you is when he gives you all he can.

QUIZ: Does He Love Me?

3. He treats you like a priority.

Everyone is busy; we all have work or school or other commitments. When a man loves you, he will make spending time with you a priority. And if he really doesn’t have time, he’ll make sure to let you know when he will. When a man loves you, you’re the most important person in his life and he makes sure to carve out a place in it for you.

4. He wants to immerse himself in your life.

He wants to meet your family and all of your friends, and he really wants them to like him. He makes an effort to get to know them and make a good impression. He wants to know all about your passions and hobbies and tries to connect to these areas of your life as much as possible.

At the same time, he also wants to immerse you in his life and for you to meet all of his people. He wants you to be best friends with everyone he’s close to and he wants the people in his life to love you the way he does.

More than that, he includes you in his bigger life plan. He doesn’t speak about the future vaguely; instead he makes it clear that he envisions a future with you in it.

MORE: How Men Show Their Love

5. He really sees you.

He notices things about you that others don’t (maybe he even sees things that you don’t!) He notices how you interact with others, how people feel in your presence, how your mind works, how you process emotions, how you express yourself. He pays attention to all the little details and he remembers them. He appreciates the full scope of who you are, the good and the bad.

He doesn’t just love you, he loves things about you. Really loving people doesn’t mean you love the way they make you feel (although many people believe that’s what love is), it’s about loving them as they are at their core. This sort of love has nothing to do with how good that person makes you feel about yourself. That’s not to say someone you love can’t or won’t make you feel good about yourself, but you can’t truly love people only because they make you feel good. That’s a very selfish kind of love, a love that feeds your need to feel good in the moment, not a life-changing, deep love.

When someone really sees you, he sees not just everything you are but everything you want to be, and he’ll let you know when you’re falling short. The catch? This may actually make you feel bad about yourself. If you’re being a jerk to strangers, treating a friend poorly, or not living up to your obligations somehow, someone who loves you will let you know. It may not feel good, but it’s a sign that he really sees you, all of you, and cares about you. (I go into greater depth on this in my article on what no one tells you about being in a good relationship.)

6. Your happiness is as important to him as his own.

Your happiness may be even more important! When you love someone, really love someone, their happiness is your happiness. This is especially true for men who need to feel like they can make a woman happy. If you tell him that something makes you unhappy and he keeps doing it, this is not a sign that he’s in love with you. A man who loves you will avoid doing things that make you unhappy and will learn the things will make you happy, and he’ll make an effort to do those things.

… (continued – Click to keep reading 11 Undeniable Signs He’s In Love With You)

71 comments… add one

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Dezga

My B/F does most of the 11 things but he likes sex too much.We have sex almost everyday and that makes me feel like am just being used. I’m confused pls what do i do

Reply December 9, 2016, 5:30 am

Bbb

a guy has sex with a woman and then says it is showing affection between very good friends..what is that?

Reply December 8, 2016, 9:30 am

Leana

I’m not sure he loves me alot of the signs are true he tells me he loves me i tell him i love him too
I just can’t tell cause we are young love

Reply November 28, 2016, 9:55 pm

A

please! i need help. we’ve been friends for almost 2months. and 1month and 3weeks super close. as in super duper close that we sleep together hugging only each other. share in my towel and shampoo. he’s always in my room. he always give what i want. one night somethings happened i told him that i like him. he said he’s confused. coz he’s in a relationship with someone. and said that he’s just making fun of us. and after that he became more sweet. he’s hugging me in front of their friends.

Reply November 18, 2016, 10:11 pm

Fatimah

Am datin a guy 4 d past five yrs,he was the one that disvirgin me..i really loves him and am he also loves me,we fight nd quarrel alot 2 d extend that we wud brk up buh d next one month we would start datin again,e used 2 b d one 2 cum nd reconcile to me anytime we brk up.. I du accept him back cox e wax d one dat disvirgined me there wax a particular tyme dat we quarreled again for the past five month we did not talk anytime we quarrel e would start datin sum1 else later e wud cum bk 2 me again,afta dix quarrel e cum bk again ax usual i accepted him bk nd e changed for gud suddenly e started acting sumhw 2 me,nt callin me..nd i dnt knw wah apen i kad im nd ask im dat av i eva done anytin wrong dat makes im 2 b actin lyk dix e xaid no dah ntin,i rili love dix guy buh e is nt makin me hapi.what should i do?

Reply November 17, 2016, 10:56 am

dineo

Eish even me I have problem here with mypartner he told people that m his sister he said he shy to tell them true

Reply November 16, 2016, 1:59 pm

ADXRHDU @sarwer Bhai

Love is every thing

Reply November 9, 2016, 7:04 am

beti

when boys love….

Reply October 28, 2016, 8:21 am

As

I am suffering, mam. I think I am in love with a girl but I am not sure. Last time she texted me, I didn’t even reply. I am just worried about her feelings and her family. But the effect of staying away from her is affecting me coz I still didn’t say that I love her, I guess? So is this love.

Reply October 11, 2016, 2:42 pm

Namina

Guys… everything is so simple! Soooo simple!
If the man loves a woman… no matter what… he will do his best to be with her. Not from time to time – all the time. As close as possible. And he will hear her when listening. And see when looking for….
Simple as that!
All the rest behavior – not true love.
Thats it.

Reply September 17, 2016, 3:49 am

Alex

Wow this is so true. I have a crush on a girl and this is exactly the way I feel! We work together and are friends -but I’m working hard to get out of the friend zone!

Reply August 28, 2016, 6:18 pm

uduak

My boyfriend doesn’t save my number on his phone but others …do u tink he luvs me?

Reply August 6, 2016, 4:20 pm

beti

yes he love’s you b/c your phone no is his heart beat

Reply October 28, 2016, 8:23 am

Layma

Can you do anything to MAKE him love you?

Reply August 5, 2016, 1:54 pm

Ash

It really depends on the person/situation. There are things you can say or text to him. I’ll leave a link to a helpful guide below:
truthsaboutmen.info
Are you already seeing him?

Reply August 13, 2016, 7:06 am

Trish

Hey Sabrina
your aticle is awesome swt sis ,it really helped me and i hope am gonna find one like those advise

Reply August 5, 2016, 8:09 am

Debbie

I live with my mate in the same house and I think we like each other but he has a lady and sometimes tells me he really likes me. we do most things together except sleeping on same bed. please is it love and what should I do.

Reply August 3, 2016, 4:20 pm

Five star

What should you do? Anything beside reciprocate that feeling outwardly, at least currently as he as a lady. If he truly loves you, he will choose you over her. People say you can be intimately in love with two people but just never at the same degree. FALSE! Intimate (relationship between lovers) love is about giving someone your all. It cannot be split between two people. So Mabey he really loves you and doesn’t love her. But do not act on what he says or expresses. It is wrong to engage as he has a significant other. You can always inquire if he is serious about you. If he is, he has to make a decision between two people. However, this can lradio him to breaking his significant other’s heart. How would she feel? Then again, if he truly doesn’t love her, she hasn’t lost anything. But one should get rid of the old before exploring the new.

Reply August 10, 2016, 3:38 pm

Spin

Did a women write this

Reply July 31, 2016, 5:01 am

Favour

There is this boy that i hav a crush on nd he likes me too but when is he going to ask me out i have been waiting for 3yrs now

Reply July 30, 2016, 10:08 am

Thoughts

I’ve been dating this guy for 8 years.. We actually live together.. I have stuck by his side even when he wasn’t working. He hurt me by conversations with other women behind my back in the past like he was living another life and not in the same household.. He never last takes me out.. We don’t travel.. We don’t even go to the movies.. When he says let’s watch a movie he goes to sleep.. I have a son and he never supported anything I had to do on my job or even my son sporting events..graduation etc… No my son is not his.. I’m tired of feeling like I’m just going through the motions .. All he does is go to work and when he off doesn’t even initiate any time to have fun.. He says I’m too busy.. Which is an excuse from having to fulfill my single mother duties and responsibilities ..he says why should he stop doing what he’s doing to please me when I don’t have anything to do at the time.. That’s crazy .. He is just hanging out while I’m at home but that’s the time when we can do while he’s off and I’m off.. I work in education so we know how much time I get off really.. I really want to stop wasting my time .. I’ve told him I’m not happy and I want out.. He acts like I’m just playing.. I really want to be by myself . I can’t continue to live like this.. Then he wonders why I don’t want to be imitate.. I have no reason to .. This can’t be love.. What is this?

Reply July 28, 2016, 12:59 am

Rachel

I think you’re used to living with him and being with him. For him it’s probably also comfortable coming home and having you there. A relationship is about being there for each other even if you don’t “feel like it” and giving up things you love for your partner (cause you love them more!). This guy sounds like he’s taking you for granted and that is a very dangerous place to be. Even in healthy relationships- taking for granted makes one forget how amazing their partner is and that could lead to hurting their partner. being in a relationship is about not being selfish, putting your partners needs first.. sounds like you need to be on your own.. and maybe find someone else that would actually appreciate you and love you for who you are. ‘Next time you tell him you’re leaving- do it!

Reply November 7, 2016, 9:37 am

Far

I dont know is it he truthly love me or just like me. Sometimes we hangout together and the way he treat me was like “i’m yours baby girl” but till know he never told me that he love me. I’m just scared cause i’m very confusing with his way. I dont want to end up by getting hurt. I dont know should i stay or forget him.

Reply July 20, 2016, 2:38 pm

atinuke

pls I really need ur help, I ave a guy that I dated for four years and doing our dated period he uses to take my love for granted to d extent that three month can not passes without tearz, I used to cried a lot due to the pain he caused to my heart. aldou he also love and don’t double date BT he don’t let me feel the true love that I deserve. and their was anoda guy that is pleading me to date him for gud 5years now ave say YES to d other guy due to not finding apines in my relationship. and my boyfriend was awared dat am double dating so he begged me to leave that guy and come back to him that he has learnt his lesson and he will Neva take my love for granted again. but the second guy that I said yes to within a month of dating him I felt the really love that I deserve. my question now is that should I tell him am no more interested and go back to my formal boyfriend cos everybody is begging me to go back to him that he has realised his mistake. pls I really need ur advice should I go back or I should continue with the second guy

Reply July 20, 2016, 11:07 am

pertunia

Love is tricky…..you can be sure about someone
But the next minutes he hurts you…

Reply July 20, 2016, 6:31 am

han

hi,
i have an ex bf broke up more than year ago..he’s too jealous on my bestfriend which he thinks we have an affair and thinks that i cheated on him the mere fact it wasn’t.
after broke up no contact at all then suddenly at a very long time message me say hi….how are you?then ask me for a date time was fast we sleep together which i never expect to happen…after 2 weeks no communication…i still feel the love and feelings when we make love still same old feelings we had from the past.
after a month we met again…it was sweet,we talk like couple,bestfriends and he ask me not to stay away from him. he regret everything he said and felt sorry for leaving me.he want to take me to be he’s love forever…seems everything was perfect that night.
days past random message reminiscing our love…then suddenly become cold…no txt no calls simply nothing. i felt bad coz i dont want to guess whats running in he’s mind. i don’t want to think that i was just he’s fucking gf at the end. ilove him and im scared that he might just having revenge on me after all.

Reply July 2, 2016, 4:47 am

keri

being that I am on the outside in and looking in I would say that this gentleman of yours sounds like a prime example of a narcissist. If you haven’t done research on narcissist relationships please look into it. It could explain a lot.

Reply July 26, 2016, 10:54 pm

NZGAL

Run, run, run! This guy is a head f**ker. Life is too short to waste your time with this type of creep.

Reply August 12, 2016, 6:34 pm

Fml

Well my bf definitely does not love me

Reply July 1, 2016, 9:46 pm

mabel

my guy does everything listed in the article. i dont know if it is because of my heartbroken past but i find it difficult to trust him even though i love him so much n he shows he loves me too. btw, we live far apart but see time to time

Reply June 14, 2016, 4:18 pm

Lovely

@lost and confused be smart cut it off if he still has not made it official in 3 month he won’t change. Sadly in today’s society men want the benefits but, no relationship why because sadly we but not all pit our heart into the situation of hopes to have a relationship with this person. If he is on a dating site trust me if he deleted that one there’s another one. Be strong get you some girlfriends to hang with cut it off. It’s obviously you love him but, sadly he don’t love you or respect you. You gave him a special piece of your self yet he still is seeking other women. I feel after 3 months a man should know if he want something or not. Beither strong and don’t limit your self to getting half of it when you can have it all.

Reply June 11, 2016, 9:11 am

Henrietta Sasu

Hmmmmmm

Reply June 7, 2016, 9:51 am

JB

Careful. This description also describes a narcissist in his “love bombing” stage.

Reply May 21, 2016, 3:29 pm

Lost and Confused

Ok so now after reading many articles on here, I’m starting to wonder about this incredibly mixed emotion situation that I am in with this guy now for almost 2 years.
Long story short, we started off “Dating/hanging out” as he liked to call it. We did that for about 3 months. Things were good, I would come over about once or twice a week. We would chill, eat some dinner, watch a movie and then I would spend the night. We would spend some time hanging out in the morning and then I would go home. When I wasn’t with him, we would talk (mainly through text) the rest of the time. After 3 months he vanished from my life. come to find out he was talking to some girl he met on a dating site and well I guess they started dating.
I moved on, didn’t really care that he ditched me, I guess I was pretty much expecting it. He was the first guy I had been with since my child’s father (almost 8 years). After a few months passed, he popped back up into my life and of course I stayed very distant when it came to him. I stayed that way for several months before finally starting to open back up and trust him. Within that time I actually moved closer to him (was only a 5 min drive down the street, now we are neighbors) Since moving, him and I have gotten EXTREMELY close and for the longest time, I was the only female in his life….. He really acted as if we were a couple. Not making any decisions without my input. Telling me where he’s going when he would leave that house. He would even check in with me when he’s out and about. All of that was done completely on his own, his doing, not once did I ever ask him to do any of that.
A few months ago, he was going to move half way across the US. Well I finally got the nerve up to tell him that I love him. No, he didn’t say it back. However, he did end up changing his mind about moving the very next day. If I had anything to do with that, I don’t know. I think that timing on his decision was rather coincidental.
Well, the end of last month, I found out he was getting on a dating site again. Granted him and I are not a couple, he claims he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. He claims he has me and doesn’t need to have any other females in his life. He claimed he was only getting on the site when he was bored, just flipping through the pictures. What really pissed me off was that he was jumping right on there after we would have sex and I would go home.
So here for almost 2 years I’m thinking we are exclusive with each other so I don’t talk to, hang out with, or have sex with any other men but he loses his mind and starts doing this. We argued for 2 weeks because he started lying to me about the whole situation. Claimed he wasn’t talking to anyone, yet tells me hes going to a family members house but was really supposed to go meet her.
Long story short, I called him out on his lying and I told him that if he wanted things to stay the same between him and I he needed to get rid of the site. Well, he choose to get rid of the site and not speak to the girl anymore. It upset him to see how upset things made me but what confuses me is, if he wants me still in his life. He wants to still sleep with me, hang out with me, have me around all the time; why not just make me his girlfriend and be done with it. I mean come on he got rid of his dating site because I told him to. That has to say something, right!?!?!

Reply May 17, 2016, 11:20 am

Lovely

@lost and confused be smart cut it off if he still has not made it official in 3 month he won’t change. Sadly in today’s society men want the benefits but, no relationship why because sadly we but not all pit our heart into the situation of hopes to have a relationship with this person. If he is on a dating site trust me if he deleted that one there’s another one. Be strong get you some girlfriends to hang with cut it off. It’s obviously you love him but, sadly he don’t love you or respect you. You gave him a special piece of your self yet he still is seeking other women. I feel after 3 months a man should know if he want something or not. Beither strong and don’t limit your self to getting half of it when you can have it all.

Reply June 11, 2016, 9:15 am

debbie

I met a guy on a personals site. He lives on the other side of the country. I’m female 59 he’s male 56. We stated out e-mailing then texting. He calls me several times a day and we text on and off all day. After 3 weeks he told me he loves me I said it back. He’s moving to my city in July I will pick him up at the airport. He wants to be in a relationship. Here’s my problem I am a plus size woman and he says that’s ok but I tried to tell him how Big I am but I don’t think he really gets it I’m really afraid once he sees how big I am he won’t want to be in a relationship with me I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to lose some weight

Reply April 29, 2016, 12:12 am

Jill

You size has nothing to do with love. If you have shared photos of yourself and been honest with him, it is not an issue to him. I am in my mid 30s, also a plus size woman (3x) and my husband has never had an issue with my size, not even in our most angry moments has he said anything about my weight, and we have been married twelve years. Also, on a regular basis I am approached by very attractive men before they see the wedding ring, some try anyway.
He may be the one, he may not be, but if you love yourself it will show and THAT is very attractive .

Reply May 1, 2016, 4:32 am

Brittney

So this is a pretty complicated situation. I need input please. I’m going to try to sum it up. I was with the father of my child for 7 years after I left him I got with a guy from college we were together for 2 years. He started breaking up with me for silly reasons then we would end up getting back together. The last time he had broken up with me he said he never wanted to be with me again. So after 3 weeks of him not talking to me I had a one night stand with the father of my child. My ex had started talking to me again we hung out I ended up telling him what happened. I also told him I was pregnant it wasn’t his. He was mad but we still hung out through my pregnancy until the last month he wouldn’t respond to me. So after I had my baby he contacted me again and when my kids would go with their dad we would hang out.we hung out one night and hooked up he told me he loved me still. When I asked him he said he was drunk, so I told him it was to much I still had feelings for him. After a week or so he started taking to me again.I still hung out snuggled with him when I didn’t have my kids. Then one day I went there and found heels there from another girl he said I shouldn’t be mad cause we were not having sex. So I told him I couldn’t do that. We started talking again he said he is no longer with anyone else we have hooked up but he says he doesn’t want a relationship but still does everything he did when were in one I still hang out with him and his friends. I’m just confused. Any advise? He sends me mixed feelings but says he doesn’t want to talk about it.

Reply March 31, 2016, 9:43 pm

AR

These paragraphs consist of the following idea:
Basically, he found out I googled “the signs he is in love with me”.

Here is in detail: I think I’ve been reading this article more than 10 times for the past 2 months. Well, I read basically most articles online related of “signs he is in love with me”. I’ve only been with the guy I’m dating now for nearly 5 months, though we really clicked and he satisfied if not all, most of the list. I’ve met his parents 2 months ago and turned out I’m the first girl he brought home. He makes me really happy and we really bring out the best of each other.
Though he hasn’t said I love you. I started googling about the “signs”. Yesterday, while being ill staying at home the entire day, I opened again this site and any other sites to read again (though I know what are they by heart) the problem was.. I fell asleep when I was googling and only closed my laptop I did not exit all the tabs. When he came last night to check on me, I opened my laptop, forgetting what I did and thus he saw my google search. I was shocked. He looked at me only replied with “really?” I only looked at him I was speechless and he only said “Weirdo”. Last night went pretty awkward. I didn’t want to talk about it.

Today he’s being really nice to me (even nicer than usual, though the usual is more than enough), helping me with my household because I’m still ill and kept on mentioning he is helping me because he likes me.
The thing is, when is too soon to say I love you? I am confident about his actions that set aside all doubts but I want to hear him say it. What should I do now that now he knows something is up?
Thank you.

Reply March 30, 2016, 8:48 pm

zoila

ok so heres it. its been a year of him asking me to meet up and stuff…but he doesnt talk to me directly and we have had a LOT of moments… but hes a player and i dont want him to play with me. i have feelings for him. WHAT SHOULD I DO? OR WHAT DO YOU SAY?

Reply February 15, 2016, 7:49 pm

R

Run..run far..trust me never waste time on a player he’ll just play you

Reply February 22, 2016, 10:01 pm

Five star

They say everyone is capable of change. I believe love can be worth the risk. However, you shouldn’t get involved in a relationship wishing for someone to change. Also, if that person truly loves you he will change for the better if it means making you happy. There isn’t one answer to this. Please be smart with your decision. Broken hearts are not easily mended.

Reply August 10, 2016, 4:04 pm

Marianna Amoro

I agree with all of it…thanks..

Reply February 3, 2016, 1:08 am

Priscillia

I Love Hearing Dat

Reply January 20, 2016, 4:18 pm

maryanne

yes this guy who i was married to at first he was so sweet and i was so crazy about him and i feel that i never have to worry about anything as he looked as the type that would never hurt yr feelings…then bout 3 mnths after we married, i found out that he had so many of those young and beautiful girls in his page on fb. There
s this particular he gets in touch with and deleted messages after they done. I feel so hurt that my husband now and then gets to look at this girls pretty pictures and if he truly loves me he would never wants to look at another woman…is this true??? im so confused what love is as the way my husband is doing things to me

Reply January 18, 2016, 10:18 am

Jill

He can love you with all his heart and still look at other women. Looking is normal, all mend do it even if they don’t admit it. If he is talking with them that is a huge deal breaker, especially if he hides it from you. There is a difference between Facebook and pornography which is anonymous/ impersonal.

Reply May 1, 2016, 4:37 am

Amira

I’m so confused. Been reading different articles on this website and I am not sure what to feel anymore. There is a man in my life that shows a lot of the “signs” he likes or even loves me. It’s as if he knows we could be so much more if he wouldn’t keep fighting against his feelings yet at the same time he treats me like his girlfriend. But on the other hand, when we are apart I read articles like these and it makes me realise he is just being nice and gentle. Nothing more. Are my feelings and intuition incredibly off or is there something more between us? Thought I could handle it and just enjoy. I guess I can’t.

Reply January 5, 2016, 8:24 am

Athena

I’ve been reading your suggestions about relationships and I really grateful for the insights you presented to me. I have a problem that bothers me a lot. I have been in contact with a guy who seems to be interested in me, but we are just not there. He is immensely busy at work and now I am quite busy at school. I find myself in a pretty awkward situation: if we enter into a relationship, the long distance will probably frustrate me, while I am still quite hesitant in letting him go. I feel terrible because neither choice is desirable for me. We are now in two far away cities and almost have no opportunity to see each other in person. I don’t know whether this will change in the future. This really bothers me to the extent that I couldn’t fully devote myself to the study work at hand. What should I do to let myself get rid of this problem?

Reply November 24, 2015, 1:02 am

Shy Girl

There is this guy I met at work who initially seemed really into me and he still is but may be not as much as before. He is a genuinely nice and caring guy and I get that he likes me, as a person. We have a certain comfort level with each other since the beginning but I cannot tell if he likes me romantically or not. We come from very different backgrounds and from what I can tell he is reserved and doesn’t give himself enough credit so I feel like he might think I am way out of his league. I don’t know how to let him know without coming on too strong since as a person I am also reserved. Can you please help?

Reply November 23, 2015, 11:08 am

Shelley

Hey Sabrina

I met a guy at work and just as I was about to leave for a new job he declared his feelings for me at an overnight retreat.
Long story short we slept together that night and then the next day he told me he’d made a mistake because he still had a girlfriend who he wanted to break up with. We agreed he’d break up with her.

We live a bit of a distance apart but we saw each other a few times and he told me he’d fallen “100% stupidly for me”. Then he went quiet and it turned out he had a pre booked holiday with his ex and he didn’t know how to tell me he was away with her. Also that she still lived in his house but would be moving out.

When he came back we saw each other a few more times and it was always great and he’s told me he wants us to spend the rest of our lives together however we can’t start things until his ex moves out. He wants to protect us from any negativity and he’s also trying to keep any nastiness away from his sons.

Now I haven’t heard much from him in weeks. I’ve seen him very briefly and he’s always very pleased to see me, very affectionate and maintains that we are still heading towards the future.

I know his ex is an ex because of her Facebook but all of this has taken 4 months and still I’m waiting in the sidelines. He definitely shows some of the love signs but he definitely isn’t putting me first… However he seems to be trying to do the right thing but others… Please help

Reply November 22, 2015, 3:39 pm

Five star

If u ask me she’s taking rather long to move out. If it is evident that she seems to be over the relationship because of her Facebook, ask yourself why is she still in the house? Looks like someone or something is keeping her there. I believe he really does not want her to leave. I know this might sound harsh but it seems as though she is the one who wants to end things but he is relunctant to let her go. You may be the second option when she does decide to leave. Their minds are not fully made up and him being a father is only one contributing factor. Ask him if he’s sure about moving on with you. If he responds “yes”. Simply say “prove it”. After saying this the anticipated response should be something you see not hear

Reply August 10, 2016, 3:57 pm

Amanda

Great article Sabrina, particularly the last point. I just knew my guy loved me. We had been dating for a couple of months but then I had to move away. I never had the guts to bring up the “what happens next” conversation and neither did he. I think it’s because he doesn’t want an LDR. This makes me feel like he never truly loved me because he won’t even try or fight for the relationship, whereas I’m willing to give it my all in order for me not to lose him.

Reply November 21, 2015, 3:47 pm

Kay

I truly enjoied read this article.
I scored my guy at a 10-11. We have been dating for 10 month’s we are about 4 hours from each other. He works long hours and most weekends. I’m a full time student as well as a single parent. I still finr to travel on the to see him but he has never visited me. He always check to see how I’m doing and even tells me he loves me each time we speak most time says it first and I can feel the smile on his face through the phone. He opens doors, rubs my back, we have a pretty go line of communication we dont yell or curse at each other when we have with each other. The one problem we have. I haven’t met anyone in his family but his brother and I feel that was for validation. Do we have a problem or should I be patient.

Reply November 21, 2015, 3:47 pm

Daniel

Sabrina, I’m very impressed with your emotional intelligence and writing. I didn’t know what it truly meant to be in love until I met Eileen. It was fun to read your article and realize I do an 11 out of 11 and we actually call each other unicorns because we didn’t think the other existed haha.

Also, your article about Why Guys Cheat was spot on, this coming from someone who has never cheated. You made some bold statements that are not PC but 100% true. I saw you got a lot of slack in the comments and wanted to give positive feedback. One of the things I love about my girl is how she makes me feel. She makes always me feel like I’m a stud and like I have the biggest cock in the room (sorry to be vulgar, but she’s really smart and knows what she’s doing). I’m so devoted to her I almost completely stopped masturbating so I am always ready for her and when I do I only think of her. It sounds ridiculous but it’s a decision I made to keep myself mentally “in the game” – something I’ve never been before. It’s also an attitude I’ve heard from other guys who are truly devoted.

In short, she makes me feel like man. I believe a vital role women need to play is to build up their man. The challenge is for the man not to let it go to his head and not take his awesome woman for granted. If a guy can manage this, he’ll show his love and affection all the time because she is the source of his ego (not just his penis).

Reply November 19, 2015, 7:34 am

Sabrina Alexis

Wow, thank you so much for your awesome feedback and your honesty- it’s always great when a guy can just tell it exactly like it is! Sounds like you’re in a great relationship and also that your girl has a good understanding of a concept Eric and I talk about over and over again, the importance of making your man feel valued and appreciate (and also like the sexiest stud on earth!).

Reply November 20, 2015, 2:47 pm

Cynthia

Sabrina,

I love reading your articles because they always hit home perfectly. My problem here is my man will not committed to a title yet because he wants us to spend more time together and do things to mk sure that’s what we want. However he told me he loves me, and I love him. We have a history together as we were great friends in HS then lost touch for 22 yrs. Our feelings are very strong and we just get each other BUT he works all the time and when he’s not working he has his son so he never makes time for me. He says he will start doing that and when I ask when we can spend time together he says very soon but it doesn’t happen. He’s the only man I have ever trusted because of past relationships. I really want this, I believe we can be an amazing couple and can be happy together for the rest of our lives. But how long do I wait….we started talking 8 mos ago, but he just told me he loved me last week. Idk what to do? I’m alone, I want a relationship and I don’t want to give him up but will be ever make the time for me? Ever make me a priority?

Reply November 16, 2015, 8:50 pm

Daniel

Hi Cynthia, this is a tough situation; You want something more significant from him and he wants the status quo. What you can’t do is be an awesome girlfriend (even thought he won’t give you that title which is very telling and demeaning) and mistake niceness for kindness. Never be bitch or desperate, but you may need to be more coy to see if he’s willing to make an effort. If he’s not then you do not have a healthy long term relationship on your hands.

Reply November 19, 2015, 7:43 am

Sabrina Alexis

Ahh, I totally feel for you because I have been in that situation… where a guy said he loved me but couldn’t commit to me. The fact is, if it’s real love then there is nothing that will stop him from committing! And when a man loves you, he makes time for you and he factors you in and does all the other 11 things I wrote about in this article. Don’t hang onto the fact that he said he loves you, words are meaningless unless they are backed up by actions. It’s much easier to say than do. I know you have feelings for him and you love him, but it sounds like this situation is making you miserable and not giving you want you want and need and you deserve better. Don’t sell yourself short, by hanging onto this guy you might be overlooking a really amazing guy who can give you the love you want. (And btw, I was hung up on a guy who wouldn’t commit for almost a year. Then finally i decided to let go and to stop chasing guys who don’t want me and me and my now husband started dating a few weeks after this epiphany!)

Reply November 20, 2015, 2:52 pm

akriti

Hi Sabrina
I love reading your articles and I find them amazingly helpful.you are doing a great job making people find there right love.
I would like to tell you my situation I am in love with a guy Its been 3months we met and i am 2years elder to him.
I met him in a house party with my cousins and office friends I was never into him from the very first day but I think he was as he offered drinks to me spoke to me a more than others could.
Then we were not in contact for 3days we never shared our numbers wherein my sister saved his no into my cellphone own her own and then I called him by mistake where he seemed equally intrested in me.
We used to talk for hours nights dats went off he said he likes me and his feelings through emojis his eagerness when he used to ask me to come up for every party showed he likes me cuddling and kissing taking care of me while I was drunk …looking into my eyes .I could see that liking for me in his eyes while dancing together he used to sing for me n send me his pictures when I was off his site but he told me about his complicated relationship 7months of relationship he said they r not in contact she lives miles away from him they talk once in a week bcuz her family never wanted her to marry my guy.He tells me that he wants to come out of this complicated thing but it’s her tears which stops him to do that so she was nnot important at that time I could see that Now,after 2months I can see he has been changing
Not with his actions and words but he says she is bck into his life as she says we will see wat ever the future is till the time she gets married she will not leave him and he says I never committed to you (akriti) that’s me.He felt sorry apologize for denying the words he said to me he says he wants me in his life as his friend and dnt want to loose me.Now what I feel is love for him and I am unable to forget him he talks to me meets me the same way but sometimes I could see He is not talking To me the way he used to but I can also feel that he likes me through his actions he is so much attracted towards me and stays with me whenever we meet .

Please advice what can I do as per your article he scores 8-9 but what should I do shall I wait

Reply November 30, 2015, 5:05 pm

Rajvir kaur

My guy scores 11 out of 11. I am truly blessed??

Reply November 16, 2015, 7:22 pm

Rajvir kaur

Great article????

Reply November 16, 2015, 7:06 pm

lizz njeri

Sabrina what if he scores 10 out of 11of those. but catch,he is married.am in a country where poligamy is practised

Reply November 16, 2015, 4:00 pm

R

How do you feel about being the other woman and there being other other woman? Personally I wouldn’t even be entertaining him.

Reply February 22, 2016, 10:04 pm

Miriam

Hey sabrina,

Where do you get your ideas :)?

Reply November 14, 2015, 11:00 pm

Julia

Awesome article, Sabrina! Loved, loved, LOVED it! It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and I’m happy to report my guy scores at least an 8/11 (or even 9). 🙂

Reply November 14, 2015, 3:22 pm

Sabrina Alexis

Aw good. I love love hearing that 🙂

Reply November 20, 2015, 2:52 pm

john

Aw good. I love love hearing

Reply August 15, 2016, 10:12 am

Connie

I think this guys into me I’ve slept with him I got a boyfriend should I tell him or let him find out on his own

Reply November 13, 2015, 3:44 pm

Daniel

Connie, no decent or halfway intelligent man would ever date a girl who cheated on her BF for him. For him, you’re a fling and it will never be anything more.

Despite how much a guy may like you, he will always know you are they type of girl who can’t be trusted and not the type of girl to date. History doesn’t always repeat itself but t does have a rhythm.

Reply November 19, 2015, 7:08 am

R

Agreed. Do your bf a favor and leave him after being honest.

Reply February 22, 2016, 10:02 pm

h

After being honest about how badly I

Reply March 15, 2016, 9:31 am

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