Is there anything more relatable than listening to a girl wonder aloud if a guy likes her? That particular human experience is universal. Everyone knows the vulnerability of liking someone. Just the very idea of confessing your feelings is alarming enough to make a team of energetic butterflies swirl pirouettes in your stomach.
Just like women, guys want to do their best to avoid the crush of rejection. Eventually, one of you has to be the first to admit their feelings. To make this prospect a little less terror-inducing, guys will look for signs that you like them beforehand. Sure, sometimes signals can be misread. But a little evidence is better than nothing when summoning the courage to make your intentions known.
Here are the signs that he’s in the process of gauging how you feel about him.
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The Top Signs He’s Trying To Figure Out If You You Like Him Too:
1. He initiates texts.
One hefty clue that you’re on his mind is the frequency and manner in which he texts you. Is he the one that initiates the conversations? Does he respond immediately when you text him? This shows that he is prioritizing you above other conversations or activities in his life.
Does he keep responding, even when your text doesn’t really require an answer? A palpable eagerness to continue the conversation is key here. Sometimes texting can be tedious. Sometimes conversations don’t flow effortlessly, especially via text
Conversations can be challenging to keep interesting and progressing. If he’s consistently making an effort despite this, he’s got a motive behind that.
2. He has called you his “girlfriend” as a joke.
While it may be oversimplifying or hyperbolic to say that there’s some truth in every joke, it really can be a way to test the waters on certain subjects. There’s a certain safety in throwing an idea out there when you disguise it in the cloak of a joke. If there’s a bad reaction to it, you can just give a sheepish smile and say you were kidding.
Pay attention to it if he jokes about you being his girlfriend, or if he teases that you two are going to get married one day. Underneath the protection of humor, he’s really bringing the subject up quite purposefully.
You can give this notion a little less weight if it’s a one-off. If he jokes around about it on a regular basis, know that he’s doing it a for a reason.
3. He invites you to “hang out,” but not on a “date.”
Here’s another example of making a move without technically making a move. Asking you to hang out is like asking you on a date with a security blanket. If he picks up on any hesitation on your end, he can safely say he was just being friendly.
However, if you seem interested, he can use it as encouragement to press forward. He might arrange it so your “hang out” really is structured like a date. If he’s less bold, he might use the casual time spent together as an opportunity to continue feeling you out.
Studying your responses to things will probably be a prominent part of this experience, so be very deliberate and positive in your actions. Feel free to look at him longer than would be normal for a friend, lean close when he talks, and smile or laugh openly during conversation. Just don’t be too over the top because this can come across as desperate and give the wrong impression.
4. He makes sure to let you know he is single.
Social media statuses aren’t the only way to let someone know of your availability. When a guy likes you, he’s going to make sure you know he’s single, he’ll also probe to find out your relationship status. There’s no way he’s going to let a misunderstanding about something like that stand in the way of being with you.
Even if you just lightly tease him about liking another woman, he’s going to be quick about shutting it down. He’ll probably even feign disinterest in other, clearly attractive women. Past relationships will likely be off limits as well because he wouldn’t want you to misinterpret it as him not being over his exes.
5. He’s super helpful.
Acts of kindness are a primary love language. Everybody knows that actions speak louder than words, and sometimes actions can be less nerve-wracking than words. By being eager to assist you with any problem you have, he can demonstrate that he cares about you. When he does this, your reaction will be really symbolic for him.
Be aware of the way that you respond to him when he offers to help you with something, whether it’s to come over and fix your dishwasher, or word an email to a colleague. When you say you’re a bit upset about something and he instantly asks if you’d like to talk about it, be thoughtful about your answer. If he’s trying to figure out how you feel about him, he’s likely going to read into everything from the tone of your words to the smile (or lack thereof) on your face.
6. He finds any reason to see you.
Do you remember having a crush on someone at school and using absolutely every interaction as a way to figure out their feelings for you? As adults, we rarely have that luxury of having eight hours a day, five days a week with our crush. Time is sacred. When a guy’s trying to calculate your intentions, he will work hard to spend as much time with you as possible.
The more time he can spend with you, the better he can study you and your responses to him. Even on a basic level, this lets him get an idea of how you feel about seeing him on a regular basis. Analyzing your attitude to the prospect of a more intimate relationship will be the next step.
7. He texts you before bed.
No, not a “hey, you up?” text, but rather a genuine message to let you know that he’s thinking of you. The subtext of this message is a question – “are you thinking of me?”
There’s something sort of vulnerable about the period of time right before sleep. All of your emotions can be a bit raw and heightened. You might be more open to emotional confessions. At the very least, it’s slightly more intimate to talk to someone when you’re preparing to sleep.
For all these reasons, a text before bed is a sign that he’s thinking of you in a special way. He’ll be restless about waiting for your response because a text like that might be easier to interpret for clues than a daytime message.
8. He shows up places he knows you’ll be.
Are you noticing that when you RSVP “yes” to an event, he’s very likely to be in attendance?
This could manifest itself in him showing up at every party a mutual friend throws, or even showing up to super specific places that you will be. For example, your crush might suddenly prefer your favorite gym to his old one. Maybe he’ll even express a newfound interest in an established hobby of yours.
Even more verification of this is when he checks with you if you’re going to be somewhere. Wanting to know if you are attending before making a final decision about going speak volumes about his intentions.
Essentially, he’ll get crafty about being where you are as much as possible.
What You Should Do:
Don’t obsess over how he feels, or if you’re giving him the right signals. Don’t get caught up in following rules or playing games. And definitely, don’t hide your interest. This is a huge and common mistake. Women think showing a guy interest will turn him off, and she mistakenly thinks she’s supposed to make him chase her, but if a guy likes you then indications that say you like him too will be a good thing.
In this case, it’s a very good thing. If a guy is trying to figure out how you feel about him, he’s probably on the more shy or insecure side. He’s afraid of being rejected so he wants to be sure you like him back before he does anything. So let him know you’re into it and he won’t be shot down if he makes a move! You don’t need to get carried away with this. Be your authentic self. If you like him, then don’t be afraid to show it.
These Are the Biggest Signs He’s Trying To Figure Out How You Feel About Him:
- He initiates texts.
- He has called you his “girlfriend” before as a joke.
- He invites you to “hang out” but not on a “date.”
- He makes sure to let you know he is single.
- He’s super helpful.
- He finds any reason to see you.
- He texts you before bed.
- He shows up places he knows you’ll be.