Relationship Reality Check: 5 Harsh Truths About Being in a Relationship post image

When you’re single, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everything will be perfect when you find the right guy. I’ll admit that I was once guilty of this line of thinking. It can seem like a relationship is that one missing piece and once you have it, you will finally have it all. Then maybe you meet a guy, you click, you start dating, and all seems to be running smoothly until certain unpleasant realities of being in a relationship start to creep in, either slowly and by degrees or quickly and all at once.

Relationships take work; there is no way around that. You can be totally perfect for one another, you can love each other like crazy, you can be wildly attracted to one another, you can even be soul mates, and you will still have to work at it. When you’re in a relationship, it isn’t just about you anymore. Your choices, your actions, your behavior, your tone of voice, your mood, and so forth all affect someone else (and vice versa). A relationship is a partnership, and having a partner is amazing in many ways, but it also means there is someone else in the picture who matters. And like you, he also comes with a fair amount of baggage, issues, unresolved pain from the past, etc.

When a relationship starts to get real, it can be confusing and overwhelming. You may wonder if you’ve made a mistake, if maybe this isn’t the right relationship. You may feel wronged because this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.  All relationships will hit points where you struggle, and actually, the struggles are a good thing. When handled right, they can make you even stronger as a couple. But when dealt with improperly, they can cause irreparable harm (to both you and the relationship).

Here are five not-so-fun facts you must face about being in a relationship:

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Ask a Guy: How To Turn A Guy On (How To Seduce A Guy, Part 2) post image

I’d like to know specific things I can do to turn on a man.  I read your last article about the having the right mindset to seduce men, but I’d like to know what behaviors, tactics, and actions a woman can take to make a guy really turned on and hot to pursue me.

Can you talk about how to turn a guy on through specific actions?

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Ask A Guy: How To Seduce A Man (How To Turn A Man On, Part 1) post image

There’s a guy who I’m really interested in, but there are all sorts of women throwing themselves at him and I need to stand out from the crowd.

I am not unattractive, but I don’t feel like I’m necessarily the hottest woman in the room either… I think I can look good if I really put in the effort.  I don’t have trouble with guys in general, but I really want this particular guy and since there’s competition, I really want to know how to seduce a man and how to hook a man’s interest.  Can you tell me what works best?

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Ask a Guy: Is His Reason for Not Wanting to Commit Real or Just an Excuse? post image

I have been seeing this guy for a little while now, it’s a long-distance relationship and we aren’t exclusive. When we’re together, he seems super into me.  He talks about me to his friends, engages in PDA, and compliments me all the time. He initiates every conversation, checks up on me if I don’t reply, makes plans in advance, clears his schedule for me, etc., and I know for a fact that he isn’t seeing or hooking up with anyone else. 

He tells me he misses me and that distance sucks because we can’t be together, but adds that we should keep our options open in the meantime. I tried ending it, but he begged me not to (although he also said he would understand if that’s what I truly wanted). In the end, we both decided to keep the lines of communication open.

I can’t wrap my head around the fact that he says he genuinely likes me but still wants to play the field when I’m not around and doesn’t mind if another guy snatches me up. Is distance a legitimate reason not to commit, or is he just not that into me?

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Thinking About Getting Back Together With Your Ex? 10 Things to Consider First post image

After my ex-husband and I divorced, I dated a lot. You could say I was sowing my wild oats, or the twenties I didn’t have a chance to experience. I had missed out on figuring out who I was, but also figuring out what I wanted in a partner. So, suddenly single in my mid-thirties, I had a lot of learning to do. I had two boyfriends during those six years of healing, and a few quasi-relationships in between. That time was strewn with breakups – some of which stuck, and some which did not. There were a multitude of reasons why this happened.

So if you’re nursing your breakup wounds and contemplating getting back together with your ex, before you do, make sure you’re not doing it for any of these ten reasons:

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10 Ways to Stay Single Forever post image

10 Ways to Stay Single Forever


Being single for a certain amount of time has its benefits. I personally experienced the most growth and self-awareness during my years as a single girl, and while there were some painful and lonely moments, they all led me to a place where I could break through some of my walls and do some necessary inner work.

At the same time, no one makes it a goal to be single forever. We all want love; we all want a partner to share our lives with. Even though that is the goal, a lot of us mistakenly go about attaining the thing we want so much in all the wrong ways. We continue to live life in the same way and hope that it will somehow lead to different results. We know that this doesn’t really make any sense, and yet we continue to operate from a default setting.

Being single isn’t a curse and being in a relationship isn’t a cure-all. No matter what stage you’re in, it’s important to take a personal inventory—to look at the habits and choices that are helping you, and the ones that are hurting you. It’s not a matter of putting yourself out there more, of signing up for every dating site and side-swiping app—finding a truly amazing, healthy relationship is much more about being ready for such a relationship. It’s about identifying faulty patterns and thought processes that may be blocking you from getting what you want.

I have written many articles on how to get the relationship you want. There are also ways to guarantee that you never get what you want. Seeing what they are is the first step in correcting the problem. And with that, here are ten ways to stay single forever:

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