5 Common Misconceptions About Love post image

When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to fall in love. I vividly remember getting frozen yogurt with a group of girl friends when we were in middle school and one of my friends saying, “Guys, how excited are you to fall in love?” The rest of us couldn’t help but giggle at the silliness of her statement…but we all felt an undeniable rush of excitement over the prospect, and nodded in agreement.

I didn’t fall in love until many years later, when I was a junior in college. I had some false alarms before that, but it’s only when you experience the real deal that you are able to recognize how far off the mark everything else was.

I loved him with all my heart, with every fiber of my being…and let me tell you, it was nothing like the movies. While he loved me very much, there were too many other variables that stood in our way and the relationship was always strained and on the brink of implosion. We had maybe a month of being drunk on love…and then almost a year of pain and problems. I didn’t understand, this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.  The challenges and differences aren’t supposed to matter…it’s supposed to all just work itself out and then you make promises of forever and you keep them and of course, a happily ever after is the expected and rightful reward for making it through the storm.

The last thing in the world I ever anticipated was for my one true love so abruptly fall out of love with me…and in love with someone else. It left me broken,  jaded, and utterly confused. Was it not really love? It sure felt like it, but true love is supposed to last forever, isn’t it?

I’d say just about every person on the planet  is seeking, or trying to maintain, lasting love. The problem is most of us have longstanding, firmly ingrained, highly unrealistic ideas of what love is supposed to be, and feel frustrated when reality falls short.

No one would deny that love is a beautiful, transformative experience, but at the same time, it’s important to have a realistic understanding of what it actually is. Here are the top five biggest misconceptions about love:

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Ask a Guy: I’m Afraid the Guys I Like Will Never Want Me Back post image

When I meet a guy I like, all I can think about is when he will walk away/get tired of me/declare he doesn’t give a hoot about me. I also keep thinking: How soon before he sees I am not that great a catch?

But with the guys I totally don’t want, I am subconsciously aware this person would be in it for the long haul without me constantly having to prove my worth. Perhaps in those situations, I totally relax and give off a different vibe.

Basically, once I like a man, all I can think about is how much time do I have before everything shatters? A day, a week, a month? I immediately start waiting for the end. Maybe some part of me is tensed up the whole time waiting for him to leave. When I meet a guy I like,

How can I fix this? How can I change my vibe so the guys I like will like me back?

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How to Be a Great Girlfriend post image

How to Be a Great Girlfriend


There is so much misinformation out there on what it takes to be a great girlfriend. It’s not about cooking his favorite food or wearing sexy lingerie or mastering some crazy sexual trick (not saying these things don’t help, but they don’t get to the heart of the matter!). Understanding how men think and what they need in a relationship makes an enormous difference in the way you are able to relate to one another.

The top prerequisite for being in a great relationship is to be your best self. A trap that many people in relationships fall into is blaming their partner when problems arise. Rather than seeing what they can do to make things better, they blame him for not being what they want and think that if only he did xyz, everything would be fine.

It doesn’t work that way, though. You can’t ever make someone what you want them to be. All you can do is bring your best. When you do this, the other person will usually rise up and match you at this level.

Here are six ways to be the most amazing girlfriend ever:

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The Real Reasons It’s So Hard to Get Over Him post image

No matter how toxic (and pointless) it is to continue pining for an ex, most women have a near impossible time letting go and moving forward.

Let’s say you had a job where you felt perpetually stressed, anxious, and miserable. You put in all you could, even if it came at the expense of your ego and sometimes, your sanity. And let’s say you got fired from that job. Yes, being unemployed is scary so at first you’ll feel upset and worried, but you will also probably feel relieved. You’ll realize it was for the best and will be thankful that you are now free to find a job that is better suited for you, one where you will feel valued and appreciated. You won’t spend sleepless nights pining for that old job, wondering what went wrong and what else you could have done. You’ll realize, with perfect clarity, that it wasn’t the right place for you.

Now let’s say you’re in a relationship where you feel perpetually stressed, anxious, worried, and miserable. You put everything you have into making it work, you give it your all, even at the expense of your dignity and emotional well-being. You put up a good fight, but it’s not enough and he breaks up with you. You were miserable with him, and now you’re even more miserable without him. You spend months, maybe even years, pining away.

Unfortunately, a relationship is hard to view through the same objective lens as a job. With relationships, it’s not just our emotions that gets involved, it’s our egos, our past pain, our childhood traumas, our insecurities, our fears. Everything gets activated and when the bomb detonates, it can take months or years to clear the wreckage.

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5 Telltale Signs He Likes You post image

5 Telltale Signs He Likes You


He likes me, he likes me not…. now that is the real question.

Eric and I say over and over again that when a man likes you, it’s obvious. However, given the high volume of questions we receive from readers asking us to decipher whether a guy likes them or not (and the fact that “Does He Like Me?” is the most popular article on the site), it obviously isn’t so obvious to you when a guy likes you.

Even though I write about relationships for a living, I too can get thrown off when it comes to a guy I really like. When you add emotions (and a bit of ego) into the mix, it can be hard to see things clearly. Instead you’re seeing the situation through a lens of wishful thinking and sometimes a bit of self-deception.

Trust me, I know how confusing and frustrating it can be at times but the fact remains that when a guy likes you, it is obvious….you just need to know what signs to look for.

Read on for five tell-tale signs that he for sure likes you. [Click here to keep reading...]

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The “Rules” of Facebook for Dating & Relationships post image

After scanning the comments on A New Mode, I have noticed a very common topic in almost every discussion. Somehow we always manage to fit Facebook into all relationship/hookup/guy-meets-girl talks. I understand it. The image we portray to the world is now through statuses and pictures.  But how does that fit into our special, or not so special, someone?

I am happy to do my best to shed light on how to navigate the complicated world of The Facebook with the first ever ultimate Facebook rule book!

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