20 Questions to Ask a Guy to Get Closer post image

In this age of endless connection, we are more disconnected than ever and most relationships don’t go very far beyond the surface. Maybe it’s because we hold ourselves back or maybe it’s because we no longer have the tools to genuinely connect, like face-to-face and via conversation.

In order to build the foundation for a relationship, you need to create a meaningful connection, and this comes when you truly connect with who the other person is.

A little while back, I discovered this site called Thought Questions and I started keeping a list of some of my favorites. When my husband and I were still dating, I pulled up the list one night and suggested we play the “questions game.” We also mixed it up by seeing if we could guess what the other person would answer. It was a lot of fun, but also a very profound experience and we ended up learning so much about each other (and about ourselves!), which brought us even closer. To this day we make an effort to spend time asking each other deep, meaningful questions that go beyond ‘how was your day?’ And every time we do this, we discover new and interesting things about each other.

In his book “The Seven principles of Making a Marriage Work,” famed relationship researcher John Gottman (the dude who can predict whether a couple will get divorced with something like 95% accuracy after watching them interact for only a few minutes) cites “enhancing your love maps” as the first principle. A love map is essentially knowing all relevant information about your partner’s life, from small things like the name of their first pet to big things like significant experiences that shaped who they are. He explains that couples who have detailed love maps of each other’s worlds are much more equipped to cope with stressful events and overcome conflict.

The point is, knowledge is powerful and asking the right questions can unlock the gates for a meaningful connection and deep understanding of one another. It doesn’t matter what stage of a relationship you’re in, it could be the first date or your 10th year of marriage, people are deep and complex and always evolving so there is always something new to learn.

To help you tap into the power of knowing, here is a list of my favorite bonding questions to ask your guy in order to get even closer and more connected.

[Click here to keep reading…]

5 Signs He’s Not That Into You post image

There is nothing more exasperating in the world of dating than a guy who seems really interested, but then also maybe not…but then yes…but no again. I’ve been there, and I know most of you have based on the comments and e-mails we receive.

When a guy really likes you, it’s usually pretty obvious. So too when a guy doesn’t like you. The uncertainty usually runs rampant if a guy seems to fall somewhere in between.

He disappears for days at a time and then texts you the sweetest message you’ve ever received. He says he really cares about you, but doesn’t really act like it. And while you’re on this topsy-turvy ride, all you want to know is does this guy like me or not?! You see, a guy can be somewhat interested, but not into it. Instead of seeing it for what it is, women make up excuses and justifications to rationalize the bad behavior away. They say he’s sending mixed messages or playing games or is afraid of getting hurt.

Ladies, my many years of dating and writing about dating have taught me one thing: there are no mixed messages. Either he’s into you or he’s not.

Here are five tell-tale signs that he’s not:

[Click here to keep reading…]

Men and Relationships:  5 Signs He’ll Never Commit post image

The one question you will never hear a guy ask when he starts dating a girl is: “Will she commit to me?” It just doesn’t happen. Questions and uncertainties regarding commitment seem to be reserved for the ladies.

Women of all ages and across all cultures are united in their quest to determine the following: Does he like me? Is he serious about me? Will he ever commit to me? And trust me, I get it.  I’ve experienced those gut-twisting feelings, the ones the leave you with a constant sense of impending doom in the pit of your stomach causing you to question everything, including yourself.

It’s understandable. I mean, there is a lot at stake when you put your heart on the line and you can end up wasting months, or years, of your life on a man who never intended to keep you around for the long haul. And the aftermath of these situations is never pretty.

So what can we do to spare ourselves the time, energy, and heartbreak that goes into determining how a man feels?

After giving this topic a lot of thought and consulting with several guys, I’ve uncovered five tell-tale signs that he isn’t going to commit to you now or ever.  [Click here to keep reading…]

9 Secrets To Make a Long Distance Relationship Work post image

Long distance relationships (LDRs) are more common than ever in today’s world, thanks to the internet, social media, and Skype.

While we might have more modern ways to keep in touch, that doesn’t necessarily mean long distance relationships have become easier for most people.

When you’re in an long distance relationship, most people will tell you that LDRs don’t last, that they’re a bad idea and that you shouldn’t get your hopes up.

For most of us, the inside of your head isn’t much better: Your mind is constantly worrying if the relationship will last, wondering if the other person is as committed as you are, fearing that it could all end suddenly and you’ll be left to pick up the pieces.

Yes, they say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” but when you don’t have a clear, easy, and effective approach to LDRs, it’s more like, “Absence makes the heart grow more fearful about the relationship.”

The good news is, long distance relationships can be easy if you know the right way to approach an LDR. I’m going to share 8 powerful tips that lead to having a successful long distance relationship.

[Click here to keep reading…]

11 Undeniable Signs He’s In Love With You post image

He loves me … he loves me not … if only finding the answer were as simple as plucking petals off a flower. So what makes it so hard to determine if a man truly loves you?

A lot of us have ideas about what love should be, what it should look like, and how it should feel. A lot of the time these ideas are plain wrong (we can thank romantic comedies for that). Because of that, some of us might not recognize the real thing when it comes our way. Maybe it’s because of these grand visions of love that have been implanted in our minds, but it could also be the result of being burned too many times in the past and having walls up when it comes to either giving love or being able to receive it.

The point is, love is a tricky thing. A guy can say he loves you and not truly mean it, and a guy can love you a lot but not be ready to say it. Love, as beautiful as it is, can also be scary, and a lot of us keep our guard up until we’re sure he feels a certain way in order to keep from getting hurt. As the saying goes, before you fall in love, make sure there is someone there to catch you. The trouble with this is that when you get caught up in trying to figure out if a man loves you, you can no longer be present in the relationship. Instead of connecting, you are stuck in your own worried thoughts, and those thoughts produce fears and insecurities that ultimately block you from getting the love you want.

So how do you know if a man is truly in love with you? If he shows these 11 signs, then it’s pretty safe to say he is.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back? post image

My ex broke up with me last month after being together for over a year. The last few months were rough because his grandmother passed away after being in the hospital for a few months. I tried to be there for him but he totally withdrew and would reject my advances and we started fighting a lot because of it.

He told me he loves me, but felt like I was smothering him and he needed to find himself. I told him I would give him space while he figured things out but he said he couldn’t ask me to do that. I asked if there was a chance for us once he got things sorted and he said he isn’t sure if he sees a future. He said he worships the ground I walk on and should never change because I was perfect in the relationship and will go far in life whereas he feels like he has nothing to offer since he is grieving and stuck in a job he doesn’t like.

He suggested we stay friends but I told him that would be too hard on me and he said I can contact him anytime. I know I came across needy over the last couple of months and am wondering if there’s anything I can do to get him back. Should I text him? Try to stay friends? Is there any hope of getting him back?

[Click here to keep reading…]

Recent Relationship Forum Activity


Sign up for our
free newsletter
and get a free chapter
of our book,"He's Not
That Complicated"