Let’s talk about the attitudes men love about women because a lot of people get this wrong and it’s important.
Here is some good news: Unlike your physical appearance, your attitude is completely under your control, and it plays a huge role in your overall attractiveness.
I’m sure you’ve experienced this in your own life. Someone may be only average level when it comes to physical attractiveness, but as you get to know them they can become super attractive. Or someone can be extremely physically attractive but those attributes get decimated the second they open their mouth.
This article isn’t just about being more attractive to men, the attitudes and mindsets I’m going to share will make you attractive to all people and this will help you in all areas of your life.
Here they are:
1. Finding the fun in anything
Life is pretty much a series of unexciting events punctuated by the occasional exciting event.
At the end of the day, a relationship is about finding someone to “do life” with … and life can be pretty mundane overall. What men love is a woman who can find the fun in the mundane, be it waiting on line or sitting in traffic.
It’s refreshing to be with someone who has a light, upbeat attitude as opposed to someone who just wants to complain about everything.
2. The confident attitude
You know this one was coming because it’s so important!
A lot of people have misconceptions about confidence, a lot of people mistake it for arrogance. I see this confusion play out a lot in the comments section on my YouTube channel all the time. I’ll get comments such as “You’re wrong, men don’t really like confident women, my friend is really shy and quiet and men love her!”
This doesn’t disprove anything because confidence isn’t loud! In fact, confidence is quiet. It’s not something you declare, it’s just something that emanates and shines off you.
It definitely doesn’t mean you are being obnoxious and just loudly singing your own praises to anyone who will listen. Being like that isn’t confidence, it’s arrogance, which definitely is not an attitude men love. If anything, being arrogant will just scare men away.
Confidence isn’t basking in your own amazingness. Confidence is rooted in an attitude of “I’ll be fine no matter what.”
A confident woman doesn’t worry about a guy losing interest or leaving her. She accepts that these are possibilities, but she doesn’t worry about it because she knows she’ll be fine even if that does happen.
A confident woman also doesn’t need a man to validate her in order to feel good about herself. She already has a strong foundation of self-worth and while she appreciates the compliments, she doesn’t need them in order to feel good.
A good quote that sums up confidence is this: “Confidence isn’t will they like me?” It’s “I’ll be fine if they don’t”
3. Good vibes only
OK, I hate this expression, but it fits for the sake of my list, so let’s go with it.
We talk a lot about the power vibes on A New Mode, and I think this is something that distinguishes us from all the other relationship advice-givers out there.
Basically, your vibe is everything. It determines if people are drawn to you or want nothing to do with you.
The term we use here is your “vibe,” but you could call it your “energy” or your “way of being” or “how you come across to people” or your “charm,” you get the idea.
To have a great vibe, you need to understand that how you come across to people is a crystal clear reflection of how you feel on the inside. Not just in the things you say, but even the things you think within the privacy of your own mind.
Your thoughts affect your emotions and your emotions affect your facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc. And we have thousands upon thousands of thoughts all day long. That “soup” of constant thinking and having emotional reactions to our thoughts manifest in an immediate “vibe” other people can pick up on.
When you’re in a great mood, you give off a great vibe to others. When you’re in a loving mood, you give off a warm, loving vibe to others.
MORE: How to Turn a Man On
People can’t read your mind or know what you’re thinking, but people can certainly get a sense of whether you’re someone who thinks joyful, loving, positive thoughts or worrisome, fearful, paranoid thoughts… or anxious, tense, stressful thoughts or mean, negative, nasty thought, you get the idea.
When you feel great on the inside, it radiates outward and people will be drawn to you.
So how do you achieve this amazing vibe? You manage your thoughts. You actively fight against the negative thoughts that creep in and choose to replace them with positive thoughts. It may feel unnatural at first, but the more you do it, the more it will become just your natural mode of being.
4. When you don’t stress over the state of your relationship
There is nothing pleasant or attractive about an anxious stressful energy
A lot of women experience the phenomenon of a guy just suddenly losing interest seemingly out of the blue. But the fact is, it isn’t out of the blue. Oftentimes, he’s picking up on a stressful energy that you’re sending out and he just doesn’t want to be around it. He may not be able to articulate it with words, it will just be a “feeling.”
This anxious, stressful energy may cause him to feel a lot of pressure like you need the relationship to his a certain milestone by a certain date, or you need him to be a certain way in order to feel OK. And he just won’t want to deal with it.
When you stress, you’re interacting with the thoughts in your own mind rather than being present and engaged with your partner. And you just can’t form a connection this way.
Stress thoughts are negative thoughts and negative thoughts lead to a negative mood, which creates a bad vibe, and this is not a good thing as discussed in the previous point!
Here is another important thing to keep in mind. Men don’t usually make commitment a goal, it’s more of a byproduct. He doesn’t necessarily seek a commitment, but he meets a great girl, he enjoys spending time with her, they spend more time together, and a relationship unfolds.
A lot of women have the opposite approach to dating. They date with an agenda. They have a goal in mind and want to fulfill it at all costs. But it doesn’t feel good to be around someone with an agenda- like a car salesman or a salesperson at a clothing store working off commission. It stresses us out and we just want to get away.
The winning attitude is to just try to be present and let things unfold naturally without stress, force, or pressure. Remind yourself that no matter what, you’ll be OK. This relationship doesn’t determine your worth or your value. You will be fine no matter what.
5. Being feminine and flirty
Men love a feminine woman, so don’t be afraid to embrace that side of yourself. Smile, be sensual, and flirt! This will come more naturally for some women than others, but we all have that flirty, feminine side within us, so tap into it as much as you can.
Take a little initiative sometimes (I said a little, don’t be too aggressive, at least not if you’re in the early stages of a relationship), and be alluring.
And maybe it sounds antiquated, but make him feel like the man. This is what all men want deep down.
Being feminine and sensual really comes down to being comfortable in your own skin, so do whatever you can to get to that place.
6. When you support him
This is something all men want in a woman but very few will openly admit it.
Men love the feeling of having a woman in their corner who really sees and appreciates him for the man he is and for the goals he wants to pursue.
If you can be that woman, he’ll be yours forever. This is what will make him see you as a cut above the rest, a woman who stands out from the others, a woman he truly wants to share his life with.
When you are in a good place internally, you will naturally be able to be this woman because you’re not so caught up in your own wants and worries and fears. You’ll be able to be other-oriented and this is a crucial component of being in a relationship.
I hope this article helped you better understand the attitudes men love in a woman. But there’s more you need to know if you really want to capture his heart. Do you know what inspires a man to commit and see a woman as “the one”? If you want to learn what it takes, read this next:The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman