6 Day Memorial

Last night he said he didn’t have time to talk about my day when I told him I wanted to tell him about my first day of work. I said ok I love you. He said nothing back. I said it would mean a lot to me while he is away for him to say I love you too. Nothing in response.

I just asked him how is it back East? Is it cold? Location says he’s in Los Angeles. What do I do? No comment since last night after I said while he’s away it would mean a lot to me if he said I love you too. I feel like that’s not being needy, I have been in relationships where I haven’t vocalized things I need. Now I see his location is in a whole different place per Bumble. Los Angeles vs back east. I said “how is it back east? Is it cold?” I want to see how deep he goes in this lie

Super sketchy!

Trust your gut.

Maddie is right. The three month mark is where it either flies or flops and most of the time it’s a flop. This whole thing sounds really suspicious. However, there may be an explanation. Just leave him alone, let him contact you. He’ll either ghost or explain himself. I’m sorry, this must be nerve-wracking.

I wouldn’t send a screenshot. I wouldn’t do anything. You’ll look like a stalker if you start sending screenshots of his Bumble profile (the fact that he hasn’t deleted his Bumble profile says a lot). I’d stop contacting him at all, just go completely silent. You’ve sent him multiple messages and he’s ignoring you. Take the hint. This dude is a lost cause. No man who cares about you would ignore you like this.

Whatever you do Kara, DO NOT send him one more text. That means don’t start drinking with your friends and decide to tell him off, teach him a lesson, etc. When you go all cray-cray he will just think he was totally right to get away from you and feel justified. He will not feel guilty or bad, not one ounce.

This man doesn’t love you. Liz is right. Men who love you, care for you, value you do not behave like this for any reason, ever. Remember that. This is a valuable lesson.

You shouldn’t have to ask someone to tell you he loves you while he’s away.

I’m sure your gut is right – he’s with someone else.

If you need to write down everything you’d like to say to him and then burn the paper, that would be a good way to get it out of your system.

He’s probably not going to contact you again. At some point when you’re calmed down you could send a short text or email saying,” I don’t know what happened here but I deserved to have been told you wanted to break up instead of you just disappearing. Disrespectful and cowardly. Please don’t contact me again for any reason.” And then you block him everywhere, process with your anger and pain and move on and forget him.

Why send this text ? Two reasons. One. He does deserve to be called out on his behavior in a straightforward way. Two. When they fade away like this, they often come back with lame excuses and try to worm their way back in to dating you. You’ve closed the door to that completely with this message. If for any reason he does contact you in the future, stone cold ignore him. You’re totally done.

I know silence of the pen and mouth is best. But I felt like I was being muted for no reason and lied to. I wanted to let him know I knew. And he never said anything in response. I don’t plan on having any more communication with him

What else is left to do but recollect myself and push forward. It was literally the second day at my job and this anxiety was way too much. I have a huge learning curve with my new job. I’m just not going to date for a while. This was too much anxiety and having other anxiety-inducing things at the same time is too much for me. I could see if he never had done something like this again—disappeared-I might have listened to him. But I know too much.

Still hasn’t said anything since Thurs. I plan to not even say anything if he contacts me. People who say I love you a week ago and go silent, wrong location, no I love your toos. I don’t need to ever write him again. He basically dumped me by default and he was caught in a multi layer lie. It’s not my job at this point to give reasons