What Men Find Attractive in Women post image

What Men Find Attractive in Women

What do men truly find attractive in a woman? What makes a woman stand out from the rest?

These are questions many women ask but few know the real answers to.

A lot of women have false ideas about what men really want. Or they don’t have any ideas at all and are just flying blind.

MORE: 5 Things Men Want In a Woman

Over the years I’ve interview countless men to find out what really captures their eye and more importantly, their heart. What is it that makes a woman a cut above the rest, the type of woman that really inspires him to commit and invest in?

I’m going to share everything with you so keep reading!

1. Easy To Be Around

I would say the #1 thing men want is a woman who is easy to be around.

Men like their lives to be easy and pleasant, no muss no fuss. The biggest turn off to a guy is a drama queen who makes mountains out of every molehill. The way a guy sees it, he has enough stress in his life as is and a relationship should be an escape from that.

If you’re cool and easy to be around, men will want to be around you! Being easy-going and friendly and relaxed is part of what makes an attractive woman, and an attractive person in general.

MORE: Irresistible Attitudes Men Really Want in a Woman 

Now, I’m not saying you have to roll over and be a doormat or put on a smile when you’re actually not feeling it. Otherwise, you’re just accepting bad behavior. What I mean is that you can have boundaries and self-respect while being relaxed, fun, and easy to be around. And I can’t emphasize this enough: no drama.

2. Confidence

Confidence is just simply the key to life in general. Healthy self-esteem is a requirement for healthy relationships. It gives you the confidence to choose who to be with and to believe someone worthwhile will want to be with you.

Only people with low self-esteem settle for poor treatment and bad relationships, maybe because they don’t think they can find better or that they deserve better. This is a huge turn off and not at all what makes a woman sexy and gives her that allure that makes a man want to know more and be around her, getting to know her.

MORE: What Confident Women Do Differently in Relationships

Confident women have standards and men love a woman with standards! In theory, a man would love a woman who would just let him get away with everything but men never end up staying with women like that. It’s just not what men find attractive.

A great way to build confidence is to ask yourself, “What would a confident woman do in this situation?” and then take on that energy and action that you see her doing.

3. When You Have A Full Life

Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but no man wants to be the center of your entire universe. It’s way too much pressure and it comes across as neediness and desperation.

Instead, you should be focused on building your life to the fullest and filling it with the things that make you feel alive and whole on your own. When you have an exciting life, he wants to be a part of it and that’s so much more intriguing and alluring than being sad and empty and waiting for a man to save you from yourself.

What men find attractive in women is independence and a zest for life. If you have your own life, he won’t feel pressured and instead will give more of himself to you without hesitation. You need multiple sources of happiness. It cannot come solely from your relationship.

MORE: 5 Ways to Be Irresistible to Men 

No matter what stage of a relationship you’re in, it’s essential to remain passionate about your life and to never stop setting goals for yourself and pursuing your dreams. A relationship isn’t a final destination. It’s part of the journey that can help you reach your potential and get exactly what it is you want out of life.

Other experts tell you to play hard to get, but it’s so much better to actually be hard to get. When you have a full and busy life, you’re not jumping at the chance to hang out with him or anxiously waiting by the phone for him to text you back.

Attractive qualities in a woman are made by doing your own thing, focusing on yourself, and seeing the relationship or guy as an addition to your already amazing life, not the end-all-be-all of it.

4. You Are His Safe Place

What do men want out of a relationship? To feel safe, secure, and that the woman they’re in a relationship with is in their corner and there to support them. This woman sees him as the man he is and also the potential for the man he could be and is striving to become.

This is what makes you irreplaceable. When he feels like he can let his guard down around you and be himself, opening up his vulnerable side.

For example, maybe a guy comes off as super macho and tough but deep down he’s actually a softy and just puts up a front to protect that part of himself. The right woman who comes along can bring out that side of him that he hides from everyone else.

When you give him that space to be his true, authentic self, that’s when he starts to form a strong, intimate bond with you.

MORE: 5 Things Guys Secretly Want From You (But Will Never Tell You)

5. Embrace Your Femininity

For some reason, I feel like this one is going to be controversial but it shouldn’t be. Being feminine is a good thing and that will make you highly attractive to men.

Tap into your soft, gentle, graceful side and lead with that. We all have it in us somewhere.

I know today’s society encourages women to be more bold, tough, and aggressive. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be a strong woman. I’m just saying to temper this out a bit by not neglecting your femininity. You don’t have to suppress your feminine side for the sake of having more bold personality traits.

You can be both. I’m both. I am a very strong individual and I’m also feminine and lead with those traits in myself.

You don’t need to deny your toughness, just lead with the softness. What men really want is that balance of femininity and independence.

MORE: 5 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men

6. Take Care Of Your Appearance

I’m sure you’re familiar with this one but that’s because it’s important. This doesn’t mean you need to look perfect but it’s important to put some effort into how you look.

Notice how we put makeup on to leave the house but at home, we’re barefaced with a messy bun and ratty sweats when we’re with our guy?

What if we did the opposite?

I’m not suggesting that you do a full face of makeup and dress to the 9’s every weekday just to look good at home. But be aware of the times you’re making the bare minimum effort around your guy and step it up a couple of notches.

Not only will he notice you making an effort, but you’re also going to feel good about yourself too! Part of what makes a woman attractive is the effort we put into our own looks. Men notice and they also notice when you stop making that effort to be attractive to them as their partner.

7. You Bring Happiness Into The Relationship

A lot of people expect a relationship to bring them happiness but the reverse is true. Happiness is something you bring into the relationship, not something you extract from it.

As human beings, we love being around happy people. They’re magnetic and inspiring and make us feel happy. It’s a great contagious feeling.

MORE: 8 Things Every Man Wants in a Woman

Just as a bad mood can put people off and repel them, a happy attitude and positive personality draws people in like a magnet. Happy people are usually confident people which means they have fulfilling, meaningful lives.

Attractiveness isn’t just physical. Beauty is skin deep. Your personality matters! Your mood matters. Your vibe matters.

So take another look through these 7 characteristics of what it means to be an attractive woman to men. Let me know what you think in the comments below.

I hope this article gave you more clarity into what guys find attractive, but there is more you need to know. Do you know what takes him beyond just feeling deeply attracted to feeling truly connected and committed? Do you know what makes a woman “the one”? If not, read this next:The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman

Written by Sabrina Alexis

I’m Sabrina Alexis, the co-founder, and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing relatable, insightful articles that help people understand relationship dynamics and how to get the love they want. I have a degree in psychology and have spent the last 10 years interviewing countless men and reading and studying as much as I can to better understand human psychology and how men operate. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Instagram.

5 comments… add one

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Bonnie Juarez

Hi. I’ve read your articles for some time now and although a lot of your advice is helpful it seems like it’s intended for people just starting out. Any advice for those who’ve been with a guy forever with kids and 100 things to do, and forgot they are in a relationship or a sexy, desirable, hot blooded woman?
It’s easy to get lost in the daily demands and responsibilities of family life too exhausted to interact or remember how to.
How do I get reacquainted with myself and with the love of my life for the past 14 years?

Reply September 27, 2021, 9:20 pm

Eric Charles

The answer is through reconnecting with yourself.

Love, in its essence, is experienced through our soul in its deepest sense.

When we’re caught up in our mind or thinking, we are cut off from our soul. Sometimes that disconnection from our spirit is rather light and benign, sometimes it’s a thick, opaque mass of clouds obscuring the light of our spirit from shining through.

When we’re caught up in thinking that we need to get the other person to be different or act different, that’s just another way of being caught up in the mind.

In its simplicity, the way we bring the people we love back into love is through our own shining connection to the light, spirit and sanity within us.

Most people are caught up in their minds in one way or another. If you are deeply rooted in your own spirit and, when you speak to them, you speak to the sanity, light and spirit in them, then you will reach them.

To do this, you cannot be interacting with them through the mind that sees the problem or views how they are as wrong.

There’s a pureness to it. You drop all that mindstuff and live from the spirit of you, not through the mind, and you speak from there to the spirit you know they are. The best version of them. The one that already does everything you want and love, so much that you don’t even have to look to them to give it to you because you know you already have it whenever you want it.

I know this might not be the typical response (even compared to previous content I’ve written here), but this is actually the cleanest, most precise and most effective way for you to get what you want.

Be whole first, then talk to them as the best version of them.

Reply September 28, 2021, 5:35 pm


Great article! #4 is so important – a woman should create a safe space for her man so that he can let his guard down and be connected with her.

Reply February 17, 2021, 10:45 am


Thank you so much Sabrina for the messages. They are so educating.

Reply January 29, 2021, 11:43 pm


Thanks for these Sabrina. I’ve been watching your videos and reading A New Mode’s articles the last month or so and have found them very helpful. I find I’m prone to drama, and its something I’m working on in myself — not to eliminate feelings, but to process them and manage them moreso before talking about them. Recently I met an amazing man and things were moving along beautifully. He told me a few times how “easy” it was to be around me, and i felt the same. Then one evening i invited him to meet up with me and my gf and he was zeroing in on her and basically telling a story just to her, which i found to be extremely rude and a turn off. I mentioned something to him, didn’t make it a huge deal, but conveyed my feelings. Another instance he was hanging out closely with his ex gf in front of me, which i found to be very threatening. Long story short, i found my “easy” demeanor becoming shaken because of his flirtatious ways. He told me about a week later that he wants a poly relationship. That is not something I want, and so its over. I’m proud that i’m not bending my ethos given i’ve tried poly before and know that its not for me. But i can’t help but wonder that if i were more mellow and easy then maybe he would have realized that I’m the one he wants. Honestly, i dont think that is the case. I think his truth would have come out sooner or later. I mention all this because the first bullet “Easy to be Around” hit me deep – i know i was easy to be around for him, but once he violated a boundary or felt guilty that he was hurting me, the relationship stopped. I like that you mention being easy is not being a doormat, bc i could have been a doormat or not said antying in those situations and still be with him, but my self esteem would have plummeted. I miss him dearly, and wish things were different. Thanks for all you do to empower women. I hope to hear any feedback you may have for me via my email address above.

Reply January 19, 2021, 2:55 pm

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