So you fired off a text to the guy you’re seeing and now it’s crickets. He’s not texting back and you’re staring at the clock wondering what’s taking him so long. The longer it goes on, the more your mind races with possibilities and you’ve got another text lined up ready to go before hitting send.
Not to fear, I’m going to share examples of texts to never send a guy, unless of course, you want to scare him away for good.
Look, we all have good intentions. The problem is that those good intentions can get lost in translation via text and may make you come across in a way that is negative or doesn’t clearly reflect who you really are as a person.
Then all of a sudden, a guy who seemed super into you is acting cold and distant and seems to be losing interest. What gives?
I’m going to share the biggest man-repelling texts so make sure you read all the way through to the end.
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1. Endless Paragraphs
Guys don’t need to hear every tiny detail of your day. Maybe that’s how you talk to your girlfriends but it’s just a bit much for guys. They want an overview, not the details.
He doesn’t need to know your every move and this is a great opportunity to create a little mystery by not texting him every single thing that’s going on with you. Instead of spelling out your entire weekend getaway with your friends to him, just tell him you’ve got weekend plans with the girls. Simple and to the point.
A little mystery is good. It makes you seem like someone who has stuff going on and he’s going to be more intrigued as to what you get up to all the time in your life when he’s not around.
The next time you find yourself wondering “Should I message him?”, ask yourself why you want to message him. If it’s just texting for the sake of texting, step back from the phone and find something else to do (or someone else to talk to).
Also, pay attention to how much you’re saying verse how much he’s saying. Are your texts to him big giant blocks while he’s giving back a sentence or two? If so, it’s time to pump the brakes and give him room to speak. Let him be an equal part of the conversation.
2. The I’m Bored/Boring Text
Don’t text him that you’re bored or ask “Hey, what’s up? What are you up to?” in the hopes that he will entertain you. When you send boring texts, you come off as a boring person, like you have nothing going on in your own life and nothing to offer the relationship.
You see, guys communicate for a purpose. They don’t like to go back and forth aimlessly just for the sake of it. When guys text each other “Hey, what’s up?” it’s to find out what their friends are doing so they can make concrete plans. They’re not asking for the sake of asking or to text back and forth all day.
Instead of sending him a bored/boring text, send him a question or a funny story that happened to you. Text him something that adds value whether it’s getting to know each other deeper or revealing more of your personality and showing off your attractive qualities.
3. Passive Aggressive Texts
This happens when you’re mad at him and instead of telling him you’re mad, you drop clues via text hoping he picks up on them and then makes some grand gesture to apologize. If I could put in big blinking lights what not to text a guy, this would be high up on that list.
You give him a “K” or “ok” or even worse, you put a period at the end of your one-word sentence to send the message that you’re mad and he better be able to figure out what it is that upset you (with no clues or direction) as well as how to fix it or you won’t be happy.
Instead, what ends up happening is he doesn’t get your hints and you get even angrier and it turns into a way bigger deal than you already felt it was.
If you’re upset, just tell him in clear and concise language if something really is a big deal to you. Even better, do not text him and instead save the conversation for in-person or a phone call. You will both feel much better communicating this way and you will have the better outcome that you’re looking for.
4. Why Aren’t You Answering Texts
So, you text him and he doesn’t reply for a few hours and you follow up with:
“Are you there?”
“Why aren’t you answering me?”
I don’t think I really need to explain how this quickly slides into desperate, crazy territory and that’s not a good look. We don’t want that.
The best thing you can do is not take it personally. It can be as simple as he’s busy or something came up at work. Or, as one of my exes did once upon a time, he left his phone at his brother’s house over an hour away and didn’t notice until it was too late.
If you don’t hear from him, just let it be. Focus on something else and do anything that doesn’t require a phone or looking at a clock. This is not the time to start panic-texting because you’re wondering “Did I scare him off? I should text and make sure he’s still alive at least?!”
If a day or two goes by and still no word, send something friendly and casual with no mention of the lack of text or communication. And if there’s still no word then just let it go. You don’t need to text him to remind him you exist.
If he likes you, believe me, he’ll find a way to get in touch. If he doesn’t, the just move on and don’t waste your time analyzing or trying to figure it all out.
5. The “What Are We” Text
Men don’t like having “the talk” to begin with and they definitely don’t like having it over text. Guy texting rarely, if ever, involves intense feelings, emotions, and topics. They would much rather have a conversation one-on-one where everything is clear and can’t be misinterpreted through text.
Text is not the medium to use when asking about the status of your relationship or where things are going or if he truly likes you.
First off, a lot can get lost in translation on both sides. Because of the simplicity of it, a lot of context clues can get lost and that opens the door for you to look needy, even if that’s not at all where you’re coming from.
Texts to send a guy include flirting, sharing interesting information, and making plans. Essentially, you want to use texting as a means to get excited to see each other again, not a therapy session, airing annoyances or having long drawn-out talks about emotional topics.
Being obsessive or needy about the status of the relationship and pressuring him will not make him excited to see you again…
6. Jealous Text
Jealousy is never a good look, especially over text where it can quickly spiral out of control.
Maybe you caught him liking some girl’s pictures on Instagram or your friend spotted him out talking to another girl. Do not lash out at him over text!
If you want to know how to be a freak through text, then go ahead and send him something crazy and accusatory. I guarantee he will run for the hills. It’s just going to look like a million red flags to him if he starts getting bombarded with texts that seem to stalk his every move.
I’m not saying you can’t be upset or should just sweep things under the rug. Just don’t confront him over text about it. Take a step back, get to the heart of what’s really bothering you, and then decide how to deal with it in person.
7. The Never Letting You Go Text
This one isn’t about sappy texts like “I love you so much! I’m never letting you go!” (although please avoid sending ones like that as well!)
This one refers to just not letting the texting conversation die. Or rather, letting it end naturally without dragging it out on and on and on and on.
The heart of the matter is that guys don’t want to be texting all day. In fact, most guys don’t like texting to begin with, they just do it because they have to.
If he’s at work and you won’t let up on texting back and forth, it quicky becomes an annoying burden to him. He’s not able to switch back and forth as fast and efficiently as you may be able to.
With that said, when a conversation comes to a natural end, it’s ok to let it simply end. I promise you he’s not waiting by the phone to get some sort of conversation “closure.” He’s not going to think it’s weird if you don’t follow up with another thing to talk about.
Remember earlier when I mentioned how it’s good to leave some room for mystery and intrigue? That doesn’t happen if you’re constantly blowing up his phone.
It’s better to leave him wanting more of you, not feeling like he’s had enough of you! It’s also important to leave some space for him to make some effort and come to you. So, don’t feel obligated to take responsibility for keeping the conversation going.
8. The Stalker Text
In this digital age, we all have access to every bit of information and social media a person puts out on the internet. If you want to know what someone is up to, you can probably find out pretty quickly through their social media channels.
However, I strongly advise against bringing any of this up unless a guy tells you flat out what he’s doing. If you scour his Instagram and bring up his beach weekend without him mentioning it to you first, you’re going to look like a psycho stalker.
The sinister side of this too is using it to confront him about something. Maybe he said he was heading to the gym but you see that he ended up at a friend’s house. This is not something to use as “evidence.” Any number of things could have disrupted his plans to go to the gym.
I know pretty much all of us have probably been guilty of this at least once in our lives but I’m serious when I say this is a really potentially creepy thing to be texting him about. If you find yourself “investigating” him online, take a step back, and focus instead on your personal interactions with him.
“But should I message him when this particular thing I “found” doesn’t add up with what he says?”
NO! If you have concerns or want to know more about something, do it in person and in a non-accusatory way. I promise you will get a lot more traction and results from that instead of firing off crazy-sounding stalker texts.
I hope this article helped you better understand the types of texts that appeal to a guy and the ones that turn him off. But there is more you need to know. There is one defining moment in every relationship that determines if it will last, or if you will be left heartbroken. At some point, he will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to commit myself to? The answer will determine whether the relationship deepens or ends. Do you know how a man decides a woman is girlfriend or wife material? Do you know what inspires a man to want to commit? If not, you need to read this article next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
Here is another big problem most will face: He seems to be losing interest, withdrawing, or going cold. Do you know what to do? If not, read this next: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...