Are You Addicted to Approval? post image

Are You Addicted to Approval?


There is an epidemic that is reaching an all-time high. It’s called AA (Approval Addiction), and luckily, you can overcome in it less than 12 steps.

In this day and age, if you cook a nice dinner you take a pic and post in on Instagram; if you have a cool sense of style, you start a personal style blog; if you do a good deed, you post about it on Facebook. There is very little that’s kept private and personal and as a result, the vast majority of us have become addicted to approval.

I’m not saying I’m immune. I will admit that if I write what I consider to be a great article and it gets a lackluster response (or worse, no response at all!), I feel a little bummed. And if an article I wrote gets an extremely positive response, I’m ecstatic.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling happy when something you did gets praised. The problem emerges when you rely too heavily on the approval of others and not enough on how you feel about yourself. [Click here to keep reading…]

Happy Birthday A New Mode! Top Lessons on Life and Love post image

A New Mode is officially three years old. I honestly can’t believe how fast the time has gone, it seems like only yesterday that Eric and I were sending e-mail blasts about the site to every single person we knew (and begging them to send blasts to everyone they knew!) to spread the word, while refreshing Google Analytics every 30 seconds to see how many visitors hit the site. These days, our readership has happily expanded way beyond our friends and families and instead of being a side project, ANM has turned into our sole project.

My mission in starting the site was to help our readers become the best versions of themselves and in the process, I have undergone a profound transformation of my own. Along the way, I have learned so much about life, love, happiness, health, and– thanks to Ask a Guy–a LOT about men.

The other day I was reflecting upon how much I’ve learned (and how badly I wish I knew all these things sooner!) and realized that sharing these insights would be the perfect way to celebrate our birthday. [Click here to keep reading…]

4 Easy Ways to Instantly Love Yourself and Be More Confident post image

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere” ~Agnes Repplier

I was once a very foolish little lady and I know I’m not alone. I wanted a boyfriend more than anything. I never stopped to wonder why, I just wanted it. Now this isn’t gonna be a tale about how I wanted it and it didn’t happen and then when I stopped wanting it, it did. My desperation did somehow result in a relationship and from there, chaos ensued.

Saying I wanted a boyfriend had a very clear underlying message- I wanted to be loved, desired, to feel good about myself, to have someone there to make me feel good about myself when I didn’t. During the course of our relationship my moods were totally contingent upon the way he responded to me- a compliment would lead to exhilaration. An insult? Well I’d fall to pieces.

Not surprisingly, the relationship didn’t last and it was only in the years after that I realized the reason why: I was looking outside myself for love and approval, a fatal misstep I see committed all the time. After this relationship ended, I truly learned the value of loving myself, and I found that with my newfound confidence, I was a much happier person out of the relationship than I had ever been when I was in it.

[Click here to keep reading…]

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