I always say 95% of relationship success is who you choose. All the advice in the world won’t save you if you choose guys who aren’t on the same page as you and who don’t want the same things.
It’s really important to recognize the signs of a man who is ready to settle down and wants a serious relationship so you don’t end up wasting your time and getting blindsided when after months of pouring your heart and soul into this guy and into the relationship, you discover he’s not on the same page.
Sometimes we don’t see the situation clearly because our feelings are too involved. We want things to turn out a certain way and so we hone in on the signs and clues that say reality is as we want it to be.
But doing this doesn’t serve you and it won’t help you get the love you want. Read on for the signs he is ready for something serious … and that he’s serious about you.
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1. He is growth-oriented
I am always telling you guys how important it is to work on yourselves. Well, it goes both ways. You also want this in a man.
The worst kinds of people are the “I am the way I am” people. Now in some contexts, this is fine. I happen to be a Type A personality and that’s the way I am so it will be hard to change that. But for a while, I had a very dominant personality, I always dominated the conversations and a lot of people were put off by that. Instead of saying I am the way I am, I fixed that and worked on it and worked on really listening to what other people had to say rather than waiting for my turn to speak, and this made me a better person!
So yes, there are certain things we can’t change. But for the problem areas, we should try to change, or at least manage, them and you need a man willing to work on his weak spots.
No one is perfect, we all have flaws. And these flaws aren’t black and white- usually, a person’s greatest strength is a hint to their greatest weakness.
In a relationship, his behavior affects you (and vice versa), and sometimes his less developed traits will have a negative impact on you. A growth-oriented guy will want to strengthen his character and work on it. A guy who isn’t growth oriented will say your problem and this is the way he is and you need to deal with it.
Maybe he has a very harsh, to-the-point personality and sometimes you need more empathy and softness. A guy who wants to develop and grow will hear that and work on it. And for a relationship to work, two people need to be able to bend in certain areas to meet their partner’s emotional needs.
Watch The Video: “8 Signs He’s Ready For A Serious Relationship”
2. He factors you in
The biggest sign a guy is ready to settle down is that he makes room for you in his life.
He checks with you before making plans. He makes major life decisions with you, he doesn’t make them on his own and tell you about it after the fact. You are a factor in his decisions. You’re a big consideration.
He considers you and your needs, he isn’t only thinking about and living for himself. He has made room for you and he considers how things will affect you.
3. He deepens the relationship
The surest signs a guy is serious about you is he is consistent and he deepens the relationship.
He is not stalling for time, saying he likes things how they are and why change anything? He wants to take the next step and move things forward. This doesn’t mean he’s racing down the aisle, it means your relationship slowly and effortlessly evolves, it isn’t at a perpetual standstill.
He shares more of himself with you, the relationship moves forward, you comfortably talk about the future and even plan for the future. These things don’t make him squeamish or scare him away.
4. He is settled in his life
Here’s the thing about guys- a guy will not want to settle down until he feels settled in his life. Until he feels like his life is moving in the direction he wants it to move in.
Maybe he doesn’t have much money as he’s like, maybe he isn’t exactly where he is in his career, but he is on the right path. He is living his mission he is pursuing his passion and he is emotionally healthy overall.
If a guy is just a mess, he won’t want to commit. Most women can always make space for a relationship, it doesn’t matter how down in the dumps we are. Men aren’t like this. If a man isn’t ready, then he’s not ready. And most men will not want to be in a relationship if their life is in shambles.
Unfortunately, most women see this as an opportunity to play savior and swoop in and help him heal. But this rarely is effective and usually, she just ends up with her heartbroken.
If a man doesn’t feel like a winner, he won’t want to be “seen” and there is nowhere to hide in a serious relationship so chances are he won’t be ready to settle down until he gets his ducks in a row.
5. He is committed to making it work
A guy who isn’t ready to commit is always looking for reasons to leave. A guy who wants to commit fights for it and looks for reasons to stay.
He wants it to work. It’s important to him, it matters, and he wants to see things through. When a guy isn’t ready to settle down, he has a take it or leave it attitude with his relationships. He doesn’t invest too much of himself. If things work out, great. If not, whatever, no big deal.
When a guy is in it, he is in it.
MORE: Why He Won’t Commit
6. He’s done sowing his wild oats
He’s been there done that with the wild party boy scene and he’s over it. He has no desire to sleep around and blackout with his boys every weekend. He just feels done.
The abandonment of the party boy lifestyle is just a natural shift that occurs as a guy matures and really wants to settle down and enter a new phase of his life. And women experience it to. At a certain point, we just feel ready to move on and to slow down and make a life with someone.
Also, pay attention to where his friends are in life. If most of them are settled, chances are high he’ll want to settle down soon too.
7. He really lets you in
He lets you see his true self, the man beneath the mask. We all wear masks in the world. But that mask is rarely who we truly are, it’s how we want to be seen.
When a man is serious about you, he shows you hidden parts of himself, the sides he hides from everyone else, the sides that only a privileged few have access to. He can be real with you, no fronts, and no facade. He opens up to you, confides in you, and trusts you fully.
When a man does this, he’s investing in you and committing himself to you.
8. You just know
And now for the clearest sign of all that he’s ready to settle down …you just know.
You just know he’s serious about you. You feel totally secure in the relationship. He cares about you and meeting your needs. You don’t have this underlying feeling of fear writhing in the pit of your stomach warning you that he’s just going to leave. You can relax and just be.
You know the feelings I’m talking about. They are the same feelings you’ve ignored and pushed to the side so many times before.
People assume relationships are supposed to be hard. In some regard this is true, relationships do take work … but the work does not come in the form of figuring out how he feels. That’s the easy part!
If it feels like a struggle and if you can’t tell where he stands or how he feels, it’s a strong sign he’s just not on the same page as you.
I hope this article helped you understand and identify the signs a man is ready to settle down and commit. But there is more you need to know. Do you know what makes a man see a woman as “the one”? Do you know what inspires him to commit and settle down? To find out, read this next:The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman