So you want to know how to get a guy to like you, how to be more interesting and appealing to the opposite sex.
I don’t blame you for any confusion you might be feeling. Most of the information out there on this topic is horribly misguided. It tells you to hide interest, to play games, to make him chase you. This isn’t an effective long-term strategy. Sure, it might pique a guy’s interest, but it isn’t enough to sustain it, and isn’t that the goal? Where did we get the idea that men want aloof women who play hard to get? It’s one thing to have a little mystery around you, but it’s an entirely separate thing to act distant and cold to the man you’re interested in.
Here is a key thing to understand about men: men move toward what feels good. If it feels good to be around you, he’ll want to be around you a lot.
Try to remember this when you are interacting with the guy you like. Being kind and lively is going to serve you well. Being an ice queen, meanwhile, will leave you lonesome. This is the core understanding that underlies all the points in this article.
But let’s dive a little deeper and look at what it takes to get a guy to really like you:
1. Talk to him about his passions
Men love talking about things they’re passionate about. It makes him feel seen and appreciated, so ask questions! Skipping the draining small talk and getting to what makes him who he is will be satisfying for both of you.
Inquire about his hobbies, his passions, and what he likes to do with his spare time. Don’t just drop it once he gives you an example. Ask for specifics about it, and be genuinely curious. It’s even better if it’s a topic you know nothing about because then he can teach you about it, which is something men love to do.
Once you get to know him better, really dig deep. (For some men, this may be easier after a beer or two.) Find out what makes him tick. What are his greatest goals in life? What motivates him to do what he does every day?
It may take a while for him to feel fully at ease telling you about himself, but he’s always going to be flattered by your keen interest. It’s unusual to feel like someone is giving you their undivided attention with sincerity. He’ll be enamored with this feeling and will always look forward to talking with you.
2. Show appreciation for who he is
Showing your appreciation for a man is about more than acknowledging you value him. It’s about taking the time to see what makes him an individual and celebrating that. The first step in doing this is meticulously getting to know him. Observe the little things that make him “him.”
Once you have a good grasp on these things, make that clear to him. Cook him the meal he told you was his favorite as a kid. Leave a note wishing him good luck on a day you know is important to him. Offer to give him a back rub after a particularly tough day at work. Thank him for any and every little thing that he does for you, and be specific about why it matters to you.
3. Give him space
Guy’s aren’t afraid of commitment, they’re afraid of having their freedom stripped away by a woman who can’ handle him doing his own thing on occasion … don’t be that girl. Give him space if he needs it and don’t make him feel guilty about it.
A co-dependent couple incapable of spending any time apart is not a healthy couple. Keep your relationship strong by giving yourselves time to unwind alone. If he says that he needs space, give it to him without bitterness. There will be times when you need to clear your head, too, and so extend to him the same courtesy that you will want.
It’s a great idea for a man to have “guy time” with his friends. This is another opportunity for you to give him some space. Absence can honestly make the heart grow fonder. Once you’ve had a chance to miss each other, you’ll be even more excited to spend time together again.
4. Be happy
Happiness is sexy. Men may vary in their types and preferences, but all men want a happy woman. You are responsible for your own happiness. A man can be a wonderful addition to your life, but he can’t be the sole source of your joy. Make sure you are capable of providing yourself with all contentment you need before you partner up with someone. Expecting them to make you happy is unfair, and it will lead nowhere good for either of you.
A cheerful, lively woman is captivating to be around. Of course, you are entitled to have your down days just like anyone else, but those should be the exception. Being an optimistic person will not only make you happier, it will also make you irresistible to be around.
5. Flirt with him
Channel your inner vixen and flirt with the man you’re interested in – even if you’ve already “got” him. Playful, flirtatious banter keeps a relationship fresh and stimulating.
Women are skilled at reading small facial cues, so use that to your advantage. Observe how he reacts to your moves. Men can sometimes be oblivious to your advances, so you might have to dial it up. Less is more in the beginning, though – you don’t want to come on too strong. The desperate look is unattractive for both men and women.
Compliment him, smile frequently, and laugh at his jokes. Some mild, teasing jokes at his expense can be a fun way to express your sense of humor. Maintain eye contact when you’re speaking, and don’t shy away from playing with your hair. Be confident, playful, and flirty and you’ll have him hooked.
Even a light touch from someone you are interested in can have an electrifying effect. Find excuses to make contact with him in a good-natured way. Keep it mischievous, and if you pick up on any reluctance from him, take a step back.
If he’s interested in you he’ll likely be thrilled with you initiating physical contact. It opens the door for him to do the same. Try “accidentally” brushing your fingers against his while you’re walking, or nudging him in the arm conspiratorially. When you compliment something he’s wearing, put your hand on or even run your finger along it.
Even the most discrete physical touch will be noticed by him.
7. Don’t jump the gun
Protect yourself and your heart by not going all in until it’s safe to do so. Until you have “the talk,” don’t assume you are his girlfriend. Don’t rule out every other guy you might be interested in just because you’ve gone on a couple dates with him. Until you two are exclusive, there’s nothing wrong with keeping other options open.
Many women find it too hard to “keep their options open” once they like a particular guy. If that’s the case for you, don’t worry about it. But keep your guard up just enough so that you won’t be devastated if things don’t pan out with the guy you like.
Respect yourself by valuing your time and your priorities in life. Don’t go all in until you are clearly on the same page. Don’t drop everything just because he texts you. Don’t spend every night at his place, making it inconvenient for you but easy for him.
Continue living your life in a way that feels full and satisfying to you. He’ll become a part of that life or he won’t, but if he doesn’t you won’t be left feeling shattered.
8. Be positive
Positivity is contagious and life-affirming. It’s also a choice. Once you actively make the decision to be positive, your whole life will improve. Your romantic life is no exception.
Practice mindfulness when you speak. An excellent experiment is to try and go 30 days without complaining. If this is too hard, try just a week, or even a day! It’s harder than you think. Once you start observing this habit, you’ll realize how frequently you complain without noticing it.
Everyone loves to be around an honestly encouraging and upbeat person. Making a choice to be that kind of person is a gift to yourself, and it will definitely be noticed by the fellas.
9. Maintain your own life
Being an independent woman fully capable of running her own life is sexy and intriguing. It’s so much healthier and more gratifying to be with a man because you want to, and not because you feel like you need him. When you choose to be with someone because they add to your already rich life, that is a relationship with a lasting foundation.
10. Look your best
We all know men are visual creatures. Physical attraction is always going to play a large part in how he perceives you. Don’t take that to mean that you need to change anything about yourself. You don’t. The right man will be attracted to you without you changing a single thing.
But there’s nothing wrong with aiming to look like your best self. Just like with working on having a positive outlook in life, this is something that will be good for you as well. We all have an extra bounce in our step when we feel like we’re looking our best.
Dress in a way that feels comfortable, a way that feels like “you.” Enhance your best features and be proud of them. Take care of yourself with exfoliation, moisturizing, and the occasional deep-condition (it just feels so good after!). Experiment with makeup, hair, and scent until you find things you like. Being creative in this area is pleasurable and will have an effect on your whole life.
11. Be present
“When you have an intense contact of love with nature or another human being, like a spark, then you understand that there is no time and everything is eternal.” – Paulo Coelho
One of the secrets to a successful and blissful relationship is the same as the secret to most things in life… being present.
Worrying about the future or past of a relationship is a form of time travel that rips you out of the moment, and you will never get it back. Honor your relationship by staying grounded in the reality of the moment. Whether you are grocery shopping, laughing at his joke, or listening to him talk about his day – be fully there for it.
If you can exist in that mindful state, you and your relationship will thrive.
I hope this article clarified what it really takes to get a guy to like you. But there is more you need to know. There is one defining moment in every relationship that determines if it will last, or if you will be left heartbroken, At some point, he will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to commit myself to? The answer will determine whether the relationship deepens, or ends. Do you know how a man decides a woman is “girlfriend material”? Do you know what inspires a man to want to commit? If not, you need to read this article next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
The next problem that can destroy your relationship comes when he starts to pull away and lose interest. Do you know what to do when this happens? If not, you run the risk of making the most common relationship-ruining mistakes. Read this now and learn exactly how to handle it: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
The 11 Best Ways to Make Him Like You:
- Talk to him about his passions
- Show appreciation for who he is
- Give him space when he needs it
- Be happy
- Flirt with him
- Touch him
- Don’t jump the gun
- Be positive
- Maintain your own life
- Look your best
- Be present