When a guy says, “I miss you,” does he really mean it? Check for these 15 signs and if you notice several of these are true for you, you can be sure he really means it!
You’d think that we would just know when a guy misses us. It seems like something that should be straightforward.
Honestly, in most cases, it is. If you catch yourself desperately studying a text for signs that he misses you, take a step back. You’re undeniably miss-able, and if someone makes you doubt that, he may not be the right one.
But there are certainly grey areas. Thanks to technology, we’re able to stay “connected” to each other through many different avenues. Do you have people you “talk” to regularly – say by sending an adorable weekly snap of your dog snuggled up on the couch – but who you have no real relationship with? Most people do.
It’s very easy for a guy to say he misses you. What may cause you to question his intentions is if he doesn’t act like it and you suspect he’s not being genuine. This is possible … and it’s also possible your insecurities are getting the best of you.
Don’t look at his past behavior. Don’t put too much weight onto his words. You need to take the whole picture into account. And also remember that men communicate through actions more than words.
If your guy says he misses you but you’re not sure he means it, check out our list of signs that indicate he definitely does:
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
When a Guy Says He Misses You – 15 Signs He Means It
1. He finds every excuse in the book to contact you.
There are plenty of reasonable, suspicion-free reasons to contact a person. A work-related question or a clarifying follow-up on a previous conversation could slide as being every-day kinds of inquiries. These are also the kinds of chats that end relatively quickly. No additional effort is made to lengthen them.
Sending you funny memes, links that he thinks you’ll find fascinating, and random “how are you” texts all cross the line into the extra friendly zone. Repeated contact for totally unnecessary reasons is hugely suspect.
When you like someone, everything you see makes you think of them, so it’s only natural that you’re going to want their opinions on it all. What do they think of this news story? How is their day going? A guy who gets in touch for reasons like this is a guy who’s got you on his mind.
2. He doesn’t limit the conversations to texts.
Texting someone is a relatively low-commitment endeavor. You can do it while you’re doing other things or even hanging out with other people. Long gaps can go by between responses. It’s not terribly personal. Bringing the conversation out of texts and into phone or video calls suggests that he’s more invested.
You can’t multitask a conversation when you’re actually speaking to and looking at the person. It’s also a more intimate way to connect with someone. Taking in the details of their face, responding to their facial reactions – all of these things take much more energy and attention than simply typing up a message.
When incorporating video into the call, it’s also a way to see what that person is up to. Instead of saying “I’m watching the sunset,” you can show them the exact golden glow you’re looking at. There’s a bonding that happens over shared experiences like this, even when you can’t physically experience it together.
3. He doesn’t speak in clichés.
We can always feel when a statement rings true or has an air of insincerity to it. It’s like when a guy says, “you have beautiful eyes” instead of something like, “I can’t get over the ring of hazel around your irises.” The former could be said by anyone to anyone, but the latter comes out of a genuine appreciation for you.
A flaky guy who wants to keep you on the hook could easily throw an “I miss you” your way. Is that all he says? Something more powerful would be, “I miss that perfect cup of coffee you make in the morning.”
When a man talks in clichés, it could indicate a lack of real absorption or interest on his part.
4. He’s your number one fan on social media.
When you miss someone and just want to see them and know what they’re up to where’s the first place you go (save for showing up at their door)? Their social media accounts, of course.
When you are crushing on someone, you tend to be one of the first people to “like” their latest selfie. Even if it has the most cringe-y caption in the world, you think it’s the greatest thing on your feed. It could be just a picture of the yam roll sushi they had for lunch that day, but you’ll still jump to acknowledge it.
Pay attention to his response to your social media presence. For better or worse, it’s one of the best tools we have for keeping tabs on each other today. Does he eagerly “like” each one of your statuses? If you ask a question, it is pretty much guaranteed that he’ll respond in the comments?
5. He makes concrete plans to see you.
Anyone can say “we should go for coffee soon” or “I miss hanging out.” It’s actions, not words, that define how we feel about a person. Beware of the guy who always waxes poetic about his desire to see you, yet never puts a date on the calendar. In pen.
Whether the gesture is as lofty as booking a flight or as mild as buying a movie ticket, committing to plans is what’s important. You want to focus your energy on the guy who shows up, not the one who always has a last-minute excuse.
Life happens. Sometimes there are legitimate reasons for having to bail, but these situations should be the exception, not the rule. A guy who wants to see you will make sure it happens instead of offering weak excuses.
6. He drunk-calls you.
This is a tricky one because we all know the drunk-dial can’t always be trusted. There’s something to the idea that alcohol could give a guy the bravery to say what he struggles with during the light of day, but the reality is you want to be with someone who can just tell you he’s into you.
The other problem with the drunk-call is that it often occurs after midnight and can have a lewdness to it that’s undesirable. There’s nothing wrong with a guy showing you he wants you, but if the communication consists of only those kinds of messages, that call is crass. There has to be a relationship already established where that makes sense.
So be wary of the alcohol-infused contact. It can be flattering to know that when a guy feels extra emotional he chooses you to talk to, but there’s no guarantee that you’re the first (or the only) one he thought to hit up.
7. He gets nostalgic.
Getting nostalgic about your relationship is a classic sign that a man is missing you, especially when it comes to an ex-boyfriend. You’re not going to bring up the good ol’ days with someone if you’re not actively thinking about that person. We may all have fleeting thoughts of past relationships but taking the additional step of contacting the person to talk is a major one. You wouldn’t do that unless you wanted a reaction of some kind.
When you have good memories with someone, even if those are also laced with lousy ones, it’s tempting to romanticize the past. Even people who hated high-school or college usually feel a little misty-eyed on the last day. For this reason, try to keep a clear head when thinking about all of the good times you’ve had with a guy. You want to be able to stay objective and consider what’s best for both of you.
8. He acts jealous.
Jealousy isn’t always as easy to spot when you’re not physically with someone, but it can still rear its green-eyed head. When you’re not spending time with someone and keeping track of what they’re up to, it’s easy to imagine them doing all kinds of fun things without you. A guy who misses you will be extra inquisitive about what you’re up to and, more specifically, who you’re up to it with.
As petty as it might be, he might “like” all your pictures except the one where there are other guys standing with you. He’ll probably have a lot of questions about any new characters in your life. Depending on how he handles his feelings, he might also become distant if he thinks that will have a desirable effect on you.
Don’t let an overly possessive guy stop you from living your life, but also don’t actively try to make him envious. If you like him, these little hints of jealousy will probably be charming. It might be tempting to bring up another guy just to see how he reacts, but that falls into mind-games, which should be avoided.
9. He falls off the map.
When you’re really into someone, you want to do everything with them. Going to that new Vietnamese restaurant doesn’t seem as appealing if you can’t bring them with you to try it out. Hitting a club loses some of its appeal when you can’t dance with the one who occupies the most space in your brain.
If a guy becomes reclusive, this is a sign he could be missing you. Does he bail on guys night in order to stay at home and text with you for hours? Does he put off checking out a place or event until he can bring you with him?
Isolating himself from his social life, especially if it’s one that’s normally very active, is a sure sign that he’s pining.
10. He’s full of questions about your life.
Instead of asking merely the polite questions that stem from your average small-talk, he’ll delve deeper into your life. When you say you went to an event, he’ll inquire about details rather than just responding: “cool.”
If he’s not sure what your relationship status is, this is definitely an area he’ll be poking around in. Bolder guys might straight-up ask you if you’re dating anyone. Shyer or more discrete guys might ask you who you went to that concert with last night. However he digs around for the info, he’s doing it with a goal in mind.
If you have mutual friends, they’ll probably be on the receiving end of some of these questions. Take note of it if your friend tells you that a guy’s been asking questions about you. He’s doing his research for a reason.
11. He’s not dating anyone else.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, this is, of course, a given. But if you’re separated for other reasons, his romantic life – or lack thereof – will be very telling. Guys don’t generally like to be alone for very long. If he’s choosing to be alone instead of date, it’s very possible that he’s comparing every other girl to you and doesn’t find them up to par. It’s hard to even picture yourself with a different person when you’re hung up on someone, let alone take the step of going on a date.
He could take this further by opting to not even talk about other girls with you. If you bring up a girl, don’t be surprised if he acts disinterested and tries to change the subject. He wants you to know he’s available.
12. He asks for pictures.
Not the kind of snaps that your mind likely just jumped to. If all he asks for are suggestive pictures, disregard this as a sign he’s missing you, but you can definitely count it as a sign he desires you! But if he just wants to see your face and what you’re up to during your day, that’s sweet.
When a guy is into you, he’ll get a kick out of a shot of you wearing your weekly face mask. He’ll want to see your failed attempt at a chocolate soufflé. Mental pictures can only go so far. Putting images to the stories about your day is a great way to bond with someone more deeply.
13. He’s suddenly irritable.
We all have our bad days where we may not be at our most charismatic. Try as we might not to take it out on the people in our lives, sometimes we’re all guilty of snapping at the wrong person. Hopefully this is followed with an apology and explanation that you’re just having a rough day.
If a guy seems grouchy with you and there doesn’t seem to be any reason for his irritability, it could be he’s frustrated with the status quo. Whatever is stopping you from taking your relationship to the next level, whether that’s distance or nerves, he’s tired of it.
Don’t put up with too much grief in this department. It’s not your job to excuse away his bad behavior. At the same time, don’t take it personally if there’s some random and unexplained annoyance from his direction. It’s quite possible that he’s feeling emotional about you and he just doesn’t know how to handle it.
14. He’s ecstatic to see you.
When you finally do get to see him, does he totally light up at the sight of you? It’s super touching when someone has a visible reaction to seeing you. Even a guy who is generally reserved about his sentiments will be unable to hide it when he’s really excited. Sometimes the joy of seeing someone takes you by surprise.
This kind of thing is hard to fake. You can tell when someone is truly thrilled to see you. He won’t be able to stop looking at you and will likely be smiling from ear-to-ear. His body language will betray him. Rather than crossing his arms or being easily distracted, he’ll be wholly focused on you, leaning in when you speak.
Make sure your body language and facial expressions convey what you want him to know, too. If you’re elated to see him, show it. He’ll be studying you for reactions just like you’ll be observing him.
15. You can feel it.
As mentioned at the beginning of this article, most of the time it’s just obvious when a man misses you. He won’t want you to be puzzling over his intentions. Instead, he’ll be taking great effort to make sure you know you’re constantly on his mind. You’ll probably fight a smile when you read his texts or listen to his rambling voicemail.
You should feel butterflies when his name pops up on your phone. If instead you immediately prepare yourself to try and translate the meaning of his words, is that really the kind of relationship you want to sign up for? Either he’s indecisive, wants to keep you on the hook, or just isn’t into you. None of these options are worth spending your energy on.
I hope this article helped you determine how to know when a man really misses you and isn’t just saying it. Missing someone isn’t enough to fuel a relationship. Sometimes a man will pull away and withdraw, and it may seem like he’s losing interest and doesn’t miss you at all. Do you know what to do when this happens? If not, read this next: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
Also, do you know what makes a man decide a woman is “the one”? Do you know what makes him want to commit and see you as girlfriend-material, rather than a passing fling? If not, be sure to read this too: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
How to Tell When A Guy Really Misses You:
- He finds every excuse in the book to contact you.
- He doesn’t limit the conversations to texts.
- He doesn’t speak in clichés.
- He’s your number one fan on social media.
- He makes concrete plans to see you.
- He drunk-calls you.
- He gets nostalgic.
- He acts jealous.
- He falls off the map.
- He’s full of questions about your life.
- He’s not dating anyone else.
- He asks for pictures.
- He’s suddenly irritable.
- He’s ecstatic to see you.
- You can feel it.