Thank you! I have been looking for advice like this.
I entered a relationship because I wanted someone to make me feel better and tell me that i was beautiful. I now understand that i cant expect to get that from him and I will try to love myself. Hopefully I will learn to love myself and the relationship will improve.

Thank you so much.

I loved this- thank you so much.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but is this site geared only to females? Well I’m a man, and I found myself reading this article and was just captivated by all the great information that I will apply to my life! I’m going through a divorce as we speak, so you can only imagine my self esteem, confidence and so on is low. But, having read this I’m already starting to feel better! I’m looking at the positives in my life, my daughters, my great job, my great family and friends, but most of all now, myself. Thank you SABRINA ALEXIS!

I just want to say that you and Eric are Awesome!!! I needed to hear (read) this!!! I am grateful to God for allowing me to stumble upon this website. It has been a very informative and inspirational ,blessing to me and I am SURE to many other women!!! Keep doing a GREAT JOB as you have been. You both are going to go far!! THANK YOU SO MUCH for your sincerity, encouragement, and efforts (in general)!!

-Avis

awesome article! but the phrase “easier said than done” seems to apply here – at least for me. how do you feel confident when your personal encouragement feels like you’re lying to yourself? sometimes i think, “oh don’t be stupid any moron with a brain knows ________ isn’t true!” you know? help!

Sabrina,
I think you have made some excellent comments regarding the importance of feeling good about yourself and possessing a healthy self love and image. I am in a great relationship now but read your posts because I enjoy breading them, they are very worthwhile and I have some single girlfriends that I forward them to.

I do feel however that as humans, we are inherently programmed to desire companionship and even the most self confident and independent person (male or female) is subject to feeling s of loneliness after some time when they do not have a significant other to enjoy spending time with and providing some emotional security.

Even if one has a full life, good career, good family,friends, and support system, there is nothing wrong with wanting companionship and love. I am always leery of feminist inspired articles that state that you “don’t need a man (or woman.)” We DO need each each other mentally and physically. There’s a difference between a healthy normal need and an insecurity based neediness.

I am a mature woman who was married for 23 years, then divorced and spent many years in the dating pool. I have grown children, great friends, family and am independent and self confident. I traveled around the world solo on several occasions and have a full life. During the time that I did not have a partner I missed having the companionship and did feel lonely many times. I must say that now that I am in a relationship it is much better than being single. I do not depend on him to fulfill me, and unlike your article, if he says something that I don’t agree I stand up for myself and don’t let his moods/words control me. The person that allows another person to control how they are feeling is neurotic and immature, that isn’t normal behavior.
But if my partner was not in my life I know that it would be very lonely without him. When you are over 45, the dating scene is very challenging as there are fewer eligible men, and many of those men prefer younger women. I know how lucky I am. That doesn’t mean that I will be a doormat, but I am willing to compromise a bit more than when I was younger because the “pickins’ are slim and one needs to learn acceptance.(That’s another subject.) But I would never put up with disrespectful behavior.
I’m juust saying that “needing” someone is a normal human feeling. Do not make it out to always be a bad thing. Loneliness is proven to be a conduit to depression in humans.

Well, I say rock on Sabrina! I came out of an abusive marriage 7 years ago. I have learned to be happy with myself. Ive only started dating recently. Havent even been on 3 dates to this day. My problem was fear! I was fearful that I would end up with another loser! This made my second marriage. My dad didnt help matters by telling me that I always end up with losers! So, Ive been alone without a boyfriend for 7 yrs. But, I feel that Im ready to move forward in my life and find a great guy! Im 53 yrs old and look 40, so I dont have problems attracting men. But, I had to learn to first love myself and the interests I have. Your message is very wise and I hope more women will learn the value of this truth….

Preach on… Years ago, I learned this lesson all too well. I love me some me!

Nancy

I think I don’t give a damn about men anymore. I DO WHAT I WANT AND WHAT MAKES ME FEEL HAPPY. It’s true if you are not happy, no man can make you happy, you are the source of your happiness.

This is such an inspirational article to women. I recently came out of a bad relationship and I have completely lost my confidence, I was constantly being dis respected and it wasn’t a healthy relationship. I’m currently unemployed after uni, no boyfriend and living at home with no money. But now I am going to take your advice and change my life for me! Be a strong, confident, independent woman and knock out all negative comments. 2012 I will have a job, move out and be in a much better mind frame to be in a healthy, equal relationship. I really admire all the advice you 2 give.

Thanks for this article. I really appreciate it.

A funny story. I had been seeing this guy for about 2 months and when I am with him, I noticed that my confidence was way up and I felt ‘loved’ even though we are not dating. He surely has a high confidence to be able to radiate it onto other ppl like he does to myself. The morning after I had hung out him, I was at the laundry mat. The place was empty except for 1 person in there besides myself. I was in a rush, my hair was a muck and I’m tossing clothes in the washer when out of the corner of the room I hear this loudish “HI!” I look over my shoulder and out the corner of my eye and see this elderly man – veteran, standing there smiling away at me. I gave him a nice Hello back and left. I returned about 1/2hr later to put my wash in the dryer. Im in the same position as before when he walks by and says “Have a good day, Pretty Lady” That totally made my day and I thanked him for it. This was the FIRST time I had a complete stranger do that to me and I believe it is because my confidence was radiating.

I wanted to share to go along with the article and its positive word.

I love this article. I definitely can relate and I’m struggling to find that inner happiness. Im rushing in everything lately and I feel like nothing works. I’ve been working on myself. I hope to be a different person soon. I really need to work on confidence

I love every word of this post, and I’m re-tweeting it.

Thanks for this!
Love yourself and others will follow .

This was encouraging. I think for a while I relied on my boyfriend for happiness and security and I ended up really isolating myself. It was a horrible time for me because he ended up leaving and I had to get myself back on my feet again. I’m a whole lot better now, but there are times here and there when I need to remember to love myself and to keep a positive outlook. I almost forgot what it was like to be me, and it was definitely an eye opening experience to go through. Thanks for this post. It’s a good reminder.

This is a great article! Love yourself and the world will follow. Love the world and life only gets better!

Great Article! Just Love It!!!
Natalia from Argentina