About the Author, Sabrina Alexis

I’m Sabrina Alexis, the co-founder, and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing relatable, insightful articles that help people understand relationship dynamics and how to get the love they want. I have a degree in psychology and have spent the last 10 years interviewing countless men and reading and studying as much as I can to better understand human psychology and how men operate. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Instagram.

Articles by Sabrina Alexis


Stop Doing These 6 Things If You Want to Find Love post image

If you’re struggling to find love for the first time or finding love again, maybe after having your heart broken, you’ve come to the right place. There’s a lot of misconceptions out there about how you will find love but no one ever talks about what it takes to have a lasting relationship.

How to Be a Priority, Not an Option: 6 Powerful Steps that Work post image

Do you feel like guys always treat you like a last priority? When someone treats you like an option, it can really make a dent in your self-esteem.

You think, “I don’t feel important” and that can begin to influence your behaviors, leading to a negative cycle of not feeling good enough and then being treated as such.

Not to worry though. Stick with me to the end and I will reveal what makes a guy really invest in you and treat you like a priority vs an option.

Dealing with Relationship Anxiety: Spotting Self-Sabotaging Behaviors post image

I get a lot of questions on how to deal with relationship anxiety and believe me, I get it!

Anxiety is a pervasive problem in general, and of course, it’s going to come out in relationships because relationships hit every emotional sore spot inside of us and there is a lot at stake.

MORE: How to Stop Stressing in Dating and Relationships

Your intentions are good, you want the relationship to last and you want to avoid being hurt, but the way it manifests could end up ruining the very thing you want so badly.

So let’s break it down and talk about why it happens and what you can do about it. Keep reading.

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5 Weird Traits that Make Him Want to Pursue You post image

Ever wonder why some guys act like they can’t get enough of you even though you’re not doing anything or even showing interest?

One of the secrets to knowing how to make men want you is understanding what they truly find attractive, even the things that make you go, “Really? That is why you’re chasing me so hard?”

I’ve been doing this for a long time and in summing up all of my experiences, there are definitive common denominators in how women go about trying to win a man over and get him to like her… and usually, these are wrong!

MORE: How to Make Men Chase You Without Playing Games

I get where you’re coming from though because I once thought the same way and did the same things. Society teaches us a lot of things about what we think men find irresistible when it’s oftentimes completely off track.

The traits I’m going to share with you may seem like they go against everything you thought about how to make a man like you, but stick with me and you’ll see it all makes sense. If you can follow these tips, I guarantee you’ll see a dramatic shift in your love life so make sure you follow through until the end and no skipping!

5 Steps to Stay High Value When He Doesn’t Text or Call post image

You’re seeing a guy, all seems to be going great… and then you just don’t hear from him. What?!What happened? What did you say or do wrong?

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He Stopped Texting: Here’s What to Do Now post image

“I’ve been seeing this guy and he suddenly stopped texting me out of nowhere, now what?!”

Sound familiar? This is such a common situation that there’s actually a term for it — ghosting.

It’s so confusing because everything seemed to be going great, at least in your mind. But then you stop hearing from him. One day goes by. Then another and another. Maybe you shoot him a text but you get crickets in response. What is happening?!?!

MORE: Why Guys Ghost and How to Get Over It

Almost nothing is worse than no response. You thought things were going great, but now you’re wondering if you’re crazy and just made everything up in your head.

Now what? What do you do next? Do you show up where you think he’s going to be? Do you try to track him down through some other means of communication?

No!

I’m going to share the most crucial do’s and don’ts of dealing with ghosting so keep reading.

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7 Stages of a Breakup For The Dumper: How Guys Deal With Breakups post image

Wondering what happens in a guy’s mind after he dumps you? Of course, you are! You want to know if he regrets it, if he misses you, and if he wants you back. You just want to know if he’s going through any stages of grief, as you certainly are. 

The panic and heartbreak after a breakup is intense and we don’t think rationally when we’re feeling these heavy and tumultuous emotions. It almost feels like a death of sorts. Operating from this place of pure emotions can cause you to do things that you later regret.

And chances are, he’s a lot less “fine” than he seems. After a breakup, there are certain stages every dumper will inevitably go through, and yes, some of those include pain and regret. They may not happen in the exact same order, but most dumpers will hit them all and I’m going to break them all down for you. 

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What Men Find Attractive in Women post image

What do men truly find attractive in a woman? What makes a woman stand out from the rest?

These are questions many women ask but few know the real answers to.

A lot of women have false ideas about what men really want. Or they don’t have any ideas at all and are just flying blind.

MORE: 5 Things Men Want In a Woman

Over the years I’ve interview countless men to find out what really captures their eye and more importantly, their heart. What is it that makes a woman a cut above the rest, the type of woman that really inspires him to commit and invest in?

I’m going to share everything with you so keep reading!

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What Not to Text a Guy: Never Send Him These Text Messages! post image

So you fired off a text to the guy you’re seeing and now it’s crickets. He’s not texting back and you’re staring at the clock wondering what’s taking him so long. The longer it goes on, the more your mind races with possibilities and you’ve got another text lined up ready to go before hitting send.

Not to fear, I’m going to share examples of texts to never send a guy, unless of course, you want to scare him away for good.

Look, we all have good intentions. The problem is that those good intentions can get lost in translation via text and may make you come across in a way that is negative or doesn’t clearly reflect who you really are as a person.

MORE: How to Get a Guy to Text You Back

Then all of a sudden, a guy who seemed super into you is acting cold and distant and seems to be losing interest. What gives?

I’m going to share the biggest man-repelling texts so make sure you read all the way through to the end.

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How To Be A High-Value Woman: Feminine Qualities That Men Look For post image

I’m going to tell you how to build your self-esteem and self-worth so you stop wasting time on losers and chasing damage cases and get the love you truly want!

I talk to you guys a LOT about how important it is to be a high-value woman, so I figured it was time to talk about what that means and what it looks like and how to do it.

When you know how to show up as a high-value woman, your relationships flow, you don’t worry and stress about “losing” a guy, and you just plain feel great about yourself.

MORE: The Top 5 Things Men Want in a Woman

A lot of times, what keeps us in bad relationships is low self-esteem. Deep down, we don’t think we can do any better, so we stay and put up with bad treatment because we think we don’t deserve to be treated well or loved, or maybe it’s the fear that we won’t find anyone better so we have to make this work.

Being a woman of high self-worth and embracing the strong feminine qualities in a woman is what will allow you to get the relationship you truly want and deserve. It also makes you stand out so that you’re attracting high-quality men!

Here is how it’s done:

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Irresistible Attitudes Men Really Want in a Woman post image

Let’s talk about the attitudes men love about women because a lot of people get this wrong and it’s important.

Here is some good news: Unlike your physical appearance, your attitude is completely under your control, and it plays a huge role in your overall attractiveness.

I’m sure you’ve experienced this in your own life.  Someone may be only average level when it comes to physical attractiveness, but as you get to know them they can become super attractive. Or someone can be extremely physically attractive but those attributes get decimated the second they open their mouth.

MORE: 5 Things Guys Secretly Want From You (But Will Never Tell You) 

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13 Signs He’s Playing Mind Games post image

No one wants to be be played with. That’s a major fear that causes people to put up walls, preventing them from getting the love they truly want because love can’t flourish behind a plastic wall.

I want to start off by saying that very few people intentionally seek out playing mind games- most guys aren’t out there just looking to screw with your heads.

Mind games are usually a manifestation of his own ambivalence towards you and the relationship. Maybe he just doesn’t like you enough or maybe he just has issues with relationships in general and can’t commit.

Now on your end, you just feel totally confused. You spend more time trying to understand the relationship than you do actually enjoying it, and hence the term mind games. You feel like you’re trying to solve some intricate puzzle rather than build a relationship and form a connection. You feel like you can’t totally drop your guard because you’re afraid of being blindsided with a breakup.

MORE: 13 Definite Signs He’s Not Serious About You

Well to clear things up, I’m going to share the biggest telltale signs a guy isn’t sure about you and is playing games so keep reading.

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Fun Questions to Ask a Guy That He’ll Love post image

Creating a connection comes down to one important thing: questions.

And it seems in this digital age, the art of conversation has been lost and we don’t know how to ask the right questions to really get to know someone. And that’s what dating is … it’s a discovery process. And the best way to discover someone and to assess how compatible you are, is through asking the right questions.

There’s a time and place for the right questions … a time to keep it light and a time to go deep.

MORE: 225 Amazing Questions to Ask a Guy

This doesn’t mean you can’t ask serious questions when you’re first getting to know someone. There aren’t strict rules you have to follow because things like context and tone really matter. But you probably don’t want to pull out “When was the last time you cried?” on a first date (unless it somehow comes up naturally and you really get the vibe that he’s open to talking about it …)

Tone is key. Asking him “What is one thing you’re judgmental about?” can be either lighthearted or serious depending on the context, how it’s asked, and how he chooses to respond.

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10 Telltale Signs He’s Losing Interest In You post image

You know the feeling … it’s that palpable shift that you can’t quite put your finger on, it just hangs in the air sending waves of panic throughout your being. Sometimes you think you’re imagining things… that your insecurities and fears are acting up, and things go back to business as usual.

And just as you’re breathing that delicious sigh of relief, the panic reemerges and jabs you right between the ribs. Something is up, you don’t want to admit it, but you know it.

They say advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer, but wish you didn’t, and I most certainly agree! I get flooded with desperate questions from women wanting to know if their guy is losing interest.

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11 Behaviors That Keep You Single post image

Being single for a certain amount of time has its benefits. I personally experienced the most growth and self-awareness during my years as a single girl, and while there were some painful and lonely moments, they all led me to a place where I could break through some of my walls and do some necessary inner work.

At the same time, no one makes it a goal to be single forever. We all want love; we all want a partner to share our lives with. Even though that is the goal, a lot of us mistakenly go about attaining the thing we want so much in all the wrong ways. We continue to live life in the same way and hope that it will somehow lead to different results. We know that this doesn’t really make any sense, and yet we continue to operate from a default setting.

Being single isn’t a curse and being in a relationship isn’t a cure-all. No matter what stage you’re in, it’s important to take a personal inventory—to look at the habits and choices that are helping you, and the ones that are hurting you. It’s not a matter of putting yourself out there more, of signing up for every dating site and side-swiping app—finding a truly amazing, healthy relationship is much more about being ready for such a relationship. It’s about identifying faulty patterns and thought processes that may be blocking you from getting what you want.

I have written many articles on how to get the relationship you want. There are also ways to guarantee that you never get what you want. Seeing what they are is the first step in correcting the problem. And with that, here are ten ways to stay single forever:

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Mixed Signals From a Guy? Here’s What His Mixed Messages Mean post image

Wondering why guys are so confusing? What does it mean when he flirts then backs off?

If you feel like you’re getting mixed messages from a guy you’re interested in, then you’ve come to the right place.

There’s almost nothing more frustrating than wondering if someone likes you and not knowing how to read their mixed signals.

OK, let’s cut right to the chase here … there is no such thing as mixed messages. And if you’re getting “mixed messages,” the message is clear: he doesn’t like you the way you were hoping.

MORE: Definite Signs He Doesn’t Like You

Like I always say, if you have to ask, you already know the answer. But it can’t be that simple, right? If it were, then why is it so confusing?

Keep reading.

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6 Big Secrets Men Hide From You post image

I came up with the idea to create a website like ANM after realizing that most women don’t have a clue about men!

This realization came after I stopped going to my girlfriends for relationship advice and instead went to my guy friends. It was the epiphanies I had during those conversations that made me realize how important it is to get this information out there!

Guys aren’t intentionally hiding these things from you- a lot of men don’t even have the language to express their emotional needs or just don’t feel comfortable doing it due to societal conditioning.

MORE: 5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Men 

Knowing these secrets is what’s going to help you form that strong emotional connection that really rouses his desire to commit and what gets him to see you as a woman who is a cut above the rest. When you don’t know how to truly emotionally connect in a way that reaches you, you may notice he withdraws or pulls away, or that the relationship just doesn’t progress past a certain point.

It really comes down to understanding male psychology and what truly drives a man and I’m going to tell you everything so keep reading.

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How to Emotionally Recover When Your Ex Moves On Too Fast post image

So your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend. Oof.

It’s never easy when an ex moves on. Breakups are hard enough but then knowing how to deal when your ex moves on is a whole other ballgame.

This is a personal topic for me because I’ve been through this exact situation. It was the worst and most damaging breakup of my entire life. And I spent a year comparing myself to this other girl and wondering why I wasn’t as good as her.

MORE: How to Get Over Even the Worst Breakup

What did she have that I didn’t? Was I not pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough, fun enough? And how could I be more of these things so I surpass this other girl and get my ex back?

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8 Signs He’s Ready for a Serious Relationship post image

I always say 95% of relationship success is who you choose. All the advice in the world won’t save you if you choose guys who aren’t on the same page as you and who don’t want the same things.

It’s really important to recognize the signs of a man who is ready to settle down and wants a serious relationship so you don’t end up wasting your time and getting blindsided when after months of pouring your heart and soul into this guy and into the relationship, you discover he’s not on the same page.

MORE: Signa He’s Serious About You And Wants to Be Your Man

Sometimes we don’t see the situation clearly because our feelings are too involved. We want things to turn out a certain way and so we hone in on the signs and clues that say reality is as we want it to be.

But doing this doesn’t serve you and it won’t help you get the love you want. Read on for the signs he is ready for something serious … and that he’s serious about you.

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How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work: 6 Tips to Be Together post image

I think we all know how hard long-distance relationships can be. Relationships can be a struggle, to begin with and adding distance to that just throws a whole new set of issues to deal with into the equation.

Any challenges you face as a couple are just that much harder when you’re trying to make a long-distance relationship work. Not to mention, you’re already missing out on all of the full-time benefits of being a couple when you’re living near each other.

MORE: Secrets to Making Your Long Distance Relationship Last

If you’re struggling with how to make a long-distance relationship work, you’re going to want to pay close attention. I’m going to share with you six simple and easy tips to make your long-distance love amazing and stress-free.

When you use these tips, you can ensure that your relationship stays amazing and strong until, hopefully, you are able to be in the same place at the same time. So make sure you stick with me until the end.

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When a Man Disappears Without an Explanation: Why Do Guys Ghost? post image

OK, stop me if you’ve heard this one before. You meet a guy you feel the spark, numbers are exchanged, you go out a few times, and everything seems to be going great.

And just as you start to get really excited about all the potential and possibilities … he’s gone. Either he does the “fadeaway” and pulls away slowly over time, or he straight up ghosts you and vanishes into the abyss.

What. Just. Happened.

What just happened?! 

Things were just ramping up! Everything was going so well! And now he’s just gone?! 

MORE: Why Guys Disappear and How to Deal 

It’s a painful, dizzying, knock-you-sideways kind of feeling. You just don’t get it.

But you will. I’m going to explain everything to you so keep reading.

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5 “Desperate Girl” Signals That Turn Guys Off: Signs of a Needy Woman post image

Let’s talk about how you might unintentionally be pushing guys away and turning them off by acting too desperate and needy.

I’m sure you have the best intentions. But as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

No one ever wants to be the desperate girl, but if that’s the place you’re coming from, then it will come across in your actions.

MORE: 5 Things Every Man Wants in a Woman

I know this might sound harsh, but I won’t be doing you any favors by placating you and encouraging bad behavior. It’s not only that- this needy behavior most likely isn’t the true essence of you you are … it’s a reaction to things you’ve been through. So in this article, I’m hoping to strip that away so you can be your authentic self.

You may not even realize that your actions are coming off as desperate, because some of these signs are subtle, which is why I’m going to set the record straight so keep reading.

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Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship: When You’re Dating a Toxic Person post image

Let’s talk about toxic people …

Here’s the thing about dating a toxic person, or even being friends with a toxic person, they very rarely start out toxic. Or at least, that’s not how they present themselves in the beginning.

If you’re in this situation I feel for you because I know first hand how hard it is. You want it to work with this guy, you see a lot of good in him… but something just doesn’t feel right. You don’t like the way you feel in this relationship. And he’s pretty awful to you.

MORE: The Number 1 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

In the beginning, he was so enraptured by you. He was so sweet and so into you- and now it seems like everything you do is wrong and you’re the source of all his problems.

But maybe you’re just being sensitive or paranoid. Is it really you or is he a toxic person? Keep reading to find out.

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Getting Ghosted: How to Deal with Ghosting post image

Let’s talk about how to handle being ghosted. Oof. This one hurts. And we’ve all been there. And if you haven’t been there yet, it’s coming!

My favorite ghosting story happened with this guy I’ll call James. We had been seeing each other for a few months and I really liked him, but then he vanished without a trace. But he did resurface a few weeks later … and I remember seeing his name appear on my phone and just feeling so happy and relieved to be hearing from him again. I forgave for ghosting me even before I heard the apology! But he wasn’t calling to apologize. He wasn’t even calling me … he accidentally called me thinking he was calling some new girl he was dating or hooking up with. He hung up on me as soon as he realized and I never heard from him again, ever. 

MORE: Why Guys Disappear and How to Deal

Whenever I discuss this topic, it generates a strong emotional reaction. And I fully understand it. It seems immature, it seems childish, and it’s just so disrespectful. And how can you not take it personally? He didn’t even care about you enough to tell you he no longer wants to see you? So did he ever even care about you in the first place?

You just feel so hurt and you feel like such a fool. What were you missing? How did you not see this coming? And how can you ever trust guys after this?

So let’s talk about how to make the experience slightly less awful. I’ll try to give you some perspective on why guys “ghost” and how you can move on without feeling bitter and jaded so keep reading.

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5 Clearest Signs He Wants a Serious Relationship with You post image

The biggest area where women feel lost or confused in the realm of dating and relationships is in understanding a man’s true intentions.

It’s easy to be misled, or to feel like we’ve been misled when our emotions are attached to a situation. You want things to work out … and you may want it so badly that you can’t see the truth about your relationship.

MORE: Signs He’s Serious About You

I know what it’s like to be stuck in a confusing “situationship.” It feels like he really likes you, but the terms of your relationship are unclear or undefined and you just don’t know if you’re wasting your time or energy.

In this article, I’m going to clear everything up and tell you exactly how to know if he has pure intentions and if he truly wants a serious relationship with you.

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What to Do When He Says He’s Not Ready For a Relationship post image

Let’s talk about what to do when a guy tells you he doesn’t want to be in a relationship or he can’t be in a relationship or he doesn’t like labels, or whatever the case may be!

If you’re going through this, I feel for you because I’ve been through this sort of thing many times and it really hurts.

MORE: 11 Definite Signs He Doesn’t Like You I always say it’s much harder to get over the guys who were never your boyfriend than to get over an actual breakup because the fact that he doesn’t even want to try is just so much more painful. You see how great you guys could be together … why doesn’t he?

I’m going to help you understand what’s going on and how to respond so keep reading.

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5 Signs He Likes You But Doesn’t Want a Relationship post image

If you’re a regular reader of A New Mode then you know our main mantra when it comes to deciphering how a man feels: when a guy likes you, it’s obvious!

OK … so then why does it get so confusing? Why are so many women feeling confused and despondent because they have no idea where he stands?

The confusion comes when a guy likes you … but doesn’t like you enough. When he likes you … but he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Ouch. 

MORE: 11 Undeniable Signs He Doesn’t Like You

This is where everyone gets stuck. You don’t want to let go because he does like you, and you like him, and it would be foolish to let go of a guy you like or even love! But at the same time, you are not getting what you want. You aren’t really getting anything from him … you’re holding onto the potential of what could be.

So how do you know what’s really going on? I’m going to break it all down so keep reading.

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How Do You Know You’re Not In Love? Signs You Weren’t Actually in Love post image

I get a lot of questions from you guys that sound something like this: My boyfriend or my ex or the guy I want to be my boyfriend is not nice to me, he ignores me, he’s disrespectful, he blocked my number, or he’s cheating on me or I just found out he has a wife … but I want him back and I want to make it work, what can I do?

Now I’ll usually respond by saying something like: “That sounds awful, why do you want to be in a relationship with someone like that?” And the answer always is … because I love him.

MORE: Proven Signs You’re In Love

Or I’ll get messages from women saying they can’t stop obsessing over this one guy and can’t move on. So I’ll ask, “what’s stopping you from moving on?” The answer … because I love him.

Ladies — or gentleman, because this applies to you too — this is not what love looks like or feels like!

To clear things up, I’m going to tell you the signs you were never in love, even though you thought you were.

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What A Man Is Thinking When He Ignores You  (Psychology of Ignoring Someone) post image

Let’s talk about why a guy you’re seeing or are in a relationship with is suddenly ignoring you.

Here is how it usually goes: the relationship gets off to a great start, you text and talk on the phone and hang out and it seems like this is going somewhere, and just as you’re settling in and enjoying the bliss of being in a blossoming relationship, he abruptly pulls back.

He may fade away slowly or just completely ignore you or “ghost,” and you have no idea what you did to cause this.

MORE: 5 Steps to Stop a Man From Withdrawing

There is nothing more frustrating than not knowing where you stand with someone. If he doesn’t like you, fine, that hurts but you can move on. When you’re stuck in this gray zone it makes you crazy and sends your brain into overdrive.

The human mind doesn’t like not knowing so we spin and spin hoping to come to some sort of conclusion. All that spinning gets you nowhere, it just makes you dizzy and even more off-kilter.

Don’t worry, I’m going to break it all down so keep reading.

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How To Make a Man Chase You: 6 Ways to Get Him Hooked post image

Let’s talk about a common term that gets flung around in the realm of relationship advice: the chase.

The chase isn’t about playing games or following rules or manipulating a man into wanting to be with you. If you go about it like that, you will always lose.

Why is it important for a man to chase you? Well, it goes back to basic biology. Men are hunters, it’s in a man’s nature to want to pursue… and unfortunately, a lot of women have taken that away from him by going after him hard… which actually only succeeds in scaring him away.

MORE: How to Make a Man Chase You Without Playing Games 

Maybe going after things aggressively has served you in other areas of your life, maybe it got you where you are in your career, but it won’t help you attract and keep a high-quality guy.

The chase is what gets a man to pursue you. Pursuing you leads to investing in you and this is what causes him to really fall for you.

This is how it’s done.

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