The Main Difference Between Men and Women When It Comes to Relationships post image

The Main Difference Between Men and Women When It Comes to Relationships


There are many differences between men and women, both in the way we’re designed physically and the way we process things emotionally. And I’m sure you’ve noticed that the way we view relationships is also very different. The main problem in a lot of relationships is women don’t know what men want.

While the differences may seem vast, they’re pretty simple when you break it down. Once you can understand them, you’ll have a much easier time understanding your guy and making your relationship even more amazing.

I want to preface this by saying that I know there are exceptions but for the sake of clarification, I’m going to be speaking about the way men and women are in general.

In general, the appeal of a relationship for a women is the relationship. Women naturally gravitate towards the idea of marriage and see it as highly appealing. An ideal relationship for a woman is one where she feels understood and connected to her significant other.  An ideal man is one who truly understands her.

The ideal relationship for a man is one where he gets to feel like the man. Men don’t have the same need for understanding as women do. Rather, men like to feel acknowledged, respected, and appreciated. Men typically enjoy the role of being givers, so for a man, the ideal woman is one who can happily receive. There is nothing sexier or more appealing to him than a happy woman who appreciates everything he has to offer.

MORE: 5 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men

While men love to give, they don’t always know what is you need and most relationship problems arise from basic communication malfunctions where a woman goes about trying to tell a man what she needs in the wrong way.

For instance, if your boyfriend or husband is hardly ever home, rather than saying: “Why aren’t you ever home?” say “I really love it when your here.” If your partner isn’t meeting your needs, it is always a much better strategy to tell him what you want rather than constantly hammering in what it is you don’t want and pointing out the ways in which he’s failing to meet your needs.

Remember, he wants to make you happy and the more appreciated he feels, the more he will go out of his way to give you what you want.

It is also worth noting that men respond to specific compliments much more than abstract ones. For instance, saying something like: “Thank you for doing the dishes, that was so thoughtful of you” packs more punch than something general like “You’re so thoughtful.” This can be an area of confusion since women are thrilled with general compliments (you’re so smart/pretty/nice/funny/etc.)

While the principles I’ve outlined may seem fairly straightforward and universally understood, they often get completely ignored. The biggest mistake most women make in relationships is assuming men think just like they do.

And the key to a successful relationship is communicating your needs in a way that the other person can hear it. If you attack or blame, your guy will completely shut down and tune you out. If you come from a place of compassion and appreciation, he will tune in to exactly what you’re saying and will try to do whatever he can to make you happy.

MORE: Bite Sized Solutions to the Most Common Relationship Problems

It is only when we embrace our differences and see the other side more clearly that healthy communication can flourish. Try it out for yourselves and you’ll see what I mean!

Tell us your thoughts in comments!

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Sam July 27, 2013, 6:37 am

I am really sad at the moment as my guy the one I just date lst 4weeks and I was dumped to tell me I was married and wanted him to commit. He said he is not that level so far and wish me can find another man more mature or same level with me. I know he likes me lots as just only 4 weeks we had spent a lot of times together and see each other.
Well,I just texted him to say thank you for anything he had done. I really to take him back but……I dont know I want him back or not and would he comes back as he told me he wont commit or looking for a relationship right now. We had slept twin times this week weekend.

Please help me ! Let me know what I should do !

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Andrea July 22, 2013, 3:01 am

….. I enjoy reading all of these articles in this topic. I just hate the feeling that run through me as I think ball and reminise of the times that I could have done things a little smarter. My actions and the way I handled certain situations got the best of me and it resulted ine losing not only a boyfriend, but a good friend…. things work out the way they do for a reason. And with that being said thanks for the insight. I will incorporate this into my future possible connections. But not for a long time. For now I have to attend to me before anyone else.

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Angel July 1, 2013, 11:22 am

My ex broke up with me a year ago, due to my actions (kept pushing him away). He tried to get me back twice but I wasn’t emotionally ready. He agreed to meet for coffee, but also told me he’s just met someone. I aksed if it was serious but he said they just met. Maybe this is the kick I needed, and now in a good place emotionally. Do you think I still have a chance?

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Paul June 24, 2013, 6:23 am

Dear Brooke:
Don’t take your boyfriend’s behavior as a negative. I can’t speak for all men, but my experience is that my male friends and I compartmentalize. My various male buddies don’t know each other. We meet one on one, infrequently, to review events and exchange advice. Your boyfriend may want to be with his male friends without women around. He may not want to offend you with misogynous language. Just like a group of women can get into male bashing. He might also be embarrassed of his friends but hangs out with them out of loyalty. Men also require a sense of independence, and of not being controlled by others, and he may subconsciously feel you are monitoring him and thus trying to control him by wanting to join him. I suggest you go out with your girlfriends, or do something you enjoy. After you’ve been married to this guy for 20 years, you’ll relish the time he is away from you. You’ll be upset that he is always around, bugging you.

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Josh June 22, 2013, 9:02 pm

Bullshit. Men want a relationship where they never have to talk about what they want in a relationship and the sex is good.

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D June 22, 2013, 12:53 am

Brooke, while he’s away you should do things that make you happy, take up a hobby, or go out with girlfriends. Make him wonder about what YOU are doing. Other than that, let him have his space.

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Becca June 21, 2013, 3:29 pm

This article was very onesided. How about what mean should do instead as well.

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Mallory July 8, 2013, 1:19 am

Before you decide to make complaints about something, you should really take the time to pay attention to the surrounding content; had you done that you would of realized this is a website aimed at offering FEMALES advice.

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Brooke June 17, 2013, 11:21 pm

I feel like framing wants/needs in a way that’s only positive can make it too subtle for the guy to realize you are wanting him to take action or even frustrating on my end because he can’t see how upset it really makes me. For example, my boyfriend doesn’t invite me to hang out with his friends much. The rare times it happens, I make sure I let him know it makes me happy when he includes me. So far that hasn’t made him do it any more than usual. Thoughts?

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