The Main Difference Between Men and Women When It Comes to Relationships post image

The Main Difference Between Men and Women When It Comes to Relationships


There are many differences between men and women, both in the way we’re designed physically and the way we process things emotionally. And I’m sure you’ve noticed that the way we view relationships is also very different. The main problem in a lot of relationships is women don’t know what men want.

While the differences may seem vast, they’re pretty simple when you break it down. Once you can understand them, you’ll have a much easier time understanding your guy and making your relationship even more amazing.

I want to preface this by saying that I know there are exceptions but for the sake of clarification, I’m going to be speaking about the way men and women are in general.

In general, the appeal of a relationship for a women is the relationship. Women naturally gravitate towards the idea of marriage and see it as highly appealing. An ideal relationship for a woman is one where she feels understood and connected to her significant other.  An ideal man is one who truly understands her.

The ideal relationship for a man is one where he gets to feel like the man. Men don’t have the same need for understanding as women do. Rather, men like to feel acknowledged, respected, and appreciated. Men typically enjoy the role of being givers, so for a man, the ideal woman is one who can happily receive. There is nothing sexier or more appealing to him than a happy woman who appreciates everything he has to offer.

MORE: 5 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men

While men love to give, they don’t always know what is you need and most relationship problems arise from basic communication malfunctions where a woman goes about trying to tell a man what she needs in the wrong way.

For instance, if your boyfriend or husband is hardly ever home, rather than saying: “Why aren’t you ever home?” say “I really love it when you’re here.” If your partner isn’t meeting your needs, it is always a much better strategy to tell him what you want rather than constantly hammering in what it is you don’t want and pointing out the ways in which he’s failing to meet your needs.

Remember, he wants to make you happy and the more appreciated he feels, the more he will go out of his way to give you what you want.

It is also worth noting that men respond to specific compliments much more than abstract ones. For instance, saying something like: “Thank you for doing the dishes, that was so thoughtful of you” packs more punch than something general like “You’re so thoughtful.” This can be an area of confusion since women are thrilled with general compliments (you’re so smart/pretty/nice/funny/etc.)

While the principles I’ve outlined may seem fairly straightforward and universally understood, they often get completely ignored. The biggest mistake most women make in relationships is assuming men think just like they do.

And the key to a successful relationship is communicating your needs in a way that the other person can hear it. If you attack or blame, your guy will completely shut down and tune you out. If you come from a place of compassion and appreciation, he will tune in to exactly what you’re saying and will try to do whatever he can to make you happy.

MORE: Bite Sized Solutions to the Most Common Relationship Problems

It is only when we embrace our differences and see the other side more clearly that healthy communication can flourish. Try it out for yourselves and you’ll see what I mean!

Tell us your thoughts in comments!

18 comments… add one

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Amit

My girlfriend brokeup with me 2 months back… She was always with me in every bad situation and never wanted to stay away from me but now her mind has changed because of one of our mutual female friend,she manipulated her saying that she deserves better I tried many times to get her back but she don’t want to….I love her so much Please help

Reply December 4, 2016, 12:09 am

L

Hi, i’ve read many of your posts and think they offer a lot of great insight but not this one. I would completely disagree and say that women, at least me, require “respect” above all else from men. This is the main reason I broke up with my two last boyfriends. When they are trying to compete to get me they act like really nice guys. Once they have me and I treat them great they start treating me like a third priority and rudely blowing me off or go behind my back flirting with other women… None of this is acceptable and no one should be treated this way. It feels like a power trip, “how badly can I treat her where she will take it and stick around.” Yeah, not happening. I leave.
So what men need to get is the concept of “respect” towards women and not taking us for granted when we treat them well.

Second point, I am tired of having to treat men like glass dolls. When they act poorly you can’t get upset otherwise they run away and break up. The problem I see is that everything is catering towards the “needs of men.” So they expect to always get their way. Even this article is completely about how men should be treated with little to no emphasis on the mistakes men make towards women. The title of this article indicates it is about “both” but it’s completely slanted for men.

Let’s break that and start telling men to act like men. If they are so strong and tough then when a woman is rightfully upset then listen and take it, and change.
It just seems to be that only after months or years of time do these guys finally get that they lost a great girl, that he was in fact wrong and made mistakes, and that the grass was not greener. It is not until all this that he comes back with the attitude to change what he knew was bad behavior in the first place, but it’s too late. We move on and they are left with their regrets.

Teach men to be men now and not cuddle them to behave like children. This is the problem and also the solution. If men learn how to treat women right the first time then maybe, just maybe we would have more long term successful relationships.

Reply September 23, 2016, 4:53 pm

Kartikeya Singh

Women’s love through mind not by heart. That’s the ultimate truth for them sex is most important. If the other person have a bigger dick the left there husband or bf for the tha guy.

Reply July 31, 2016, 2:47 am

tshepang

i love my boyfrient so very but he does”nt see that i luv him s very much what can ido?????

Reply March 10, 2016, 1:39 am

Jessica

I don’t see the men being active on their counterpart’s behalf. Women should do this, consider this and maybe change your perspective on such and such. Ever focus on men and their part of the relationship? Or are you just trying to make it easier for yourselves, because men are always the winners here, let’s just utilize the unhappy female who skims over flaws bc of her infatuation and make her jump through hoops to save a relationship. I sure appreciate your service here.

Reply December 16, 2015, 10:15 pm

Mr. Sam

I hate being monitored buy my wife, each time i want to go out to watch my favourite club Chelsea play a match.

Reply May 20, 2015, 8:04 am

Bread

I see a lot of out of touch people here who are probably just going to worsen their problems by applying this article to their lives…
Stop taking advice about men from women. If you want to understand men, then read an article written by a man- chances are a man will understand other men better than a woman will.
Same rule goes for men looking for advice about women.

and ffs saying you want your boyfriend/husband to “feel” like they have freedom(or whatever) is stupid. It sounds like you’re just trying to hide the fact that they don’t have freedom.
I mean, you are aware that men are sentient, right?

Reply May 12, 2015, 11:47 pm

Cecilia

“Men don’t have the same need for understanding as women do. Rather, men like to feel acknowledged, respected, and appreciated” this sentence quite bugged me, I want to feel acknowledged, respected and appreciated too, because I know I can do as good a s a man at anything aside from biological boundaries. I can be such as good if not better at the same job, I want respect of my space and privacy too, I want that my evident efforts are appreciated as much as his, the seeking of understanding women need is exactly this, understand that we want to be acknowledged, respected and appreciated as much as men do, and this is not going to come just by saying “I love it when you appreciate me”. Just as Brooke pointed out, my experience has showed me it takes more than that. Often I’ve had to hold my ground and say “Hey, stop there and listen” and it has worked. Maybe this makes me seem like a very aggressive woman, I am quite competitive with both men and women, and this is exactly the kind of thing my man prices me about and complains about too, so I decided to have a special attitude towards him, I cook for him, I listen to him, I acknowledge him in every aspect of his life, why would you think I don’t want the same? Sorry but men are very very dense sometimes that is necessary to be more assertive.

By the way and I think I speak for most modern women out there, I don’t start a relationship thinking I am gonna marry the guy, I want to size thing first too.

Reply September 29, 2014, 2:40 pm

Sam

I am really sad at the moment as my guy the one I just date lst 4weeks and I was dumped to tell me I was married and wanted him to commit. He said he is not that level so far and wish me can find another man more mature or same level with me. I know he likes me lots as just only 4 weeks we had spent a lot of times together and see each other.
Well,I just texted him to say thank you for anything he had done. I really to take him back but……I dont know I want him back or not and would he comes back as he told me he wont commit or looking for a relationship right now. We had slept twin times this week weekend.

Please help me ! Let me know what I should do !

Reply July 27, 2013, 6:37 am

Andrea

….. I enjoy reading all of these articles in this topic. I just hate the feeling that run through me as I think ball and reminise of the times that I could have done things a little smarter. My actions and the way I handled certain situations got the best of me and it resulted ine losing not only a boyfriend, but a good friend…. things work out the way they do for a reason. And with that being said thanks for the insight. I will incorporate this into my future possible connections. But not for a long time. For now I have to attend to me before anyone else.

Reply July 22, 2013, 3:01 am

Angel

My ex broke up with me a year ago, due to my actions (kept pushing him away). He tried to get me back twice but I wasn’t emotionally ready. He agreed to meet for coffee, but also told me he’s just met someone. I aksed if it was serious but he said they just met. Maybe this is the kick I needed, and now in a good place emotionally. Do you think I still have a chance?

Reply July 1, 2013, 11:22 am

Amit

Actually it depends on you…as you said that he tried two times to get you back but you refused. .. he tried because he had feelings on u so now you should try if you want him atleast for once because real feelings never ends … . Be happy ☺

Reply December 4, 2016, 12:03 am

Paul

Dear Brooke:
Don’t take your boyfriend’s behavior as a negative. I can’t speak for all men, but my experience is that my male friends and I compartmentalize. My various male buddies don’t know each other. We meet one on one, infrequently, to review events and exchange advice. Your boyfriend may want to be with his male friends without women around. He may not want to offend you with misogynous language. Just like a group of women can get into male bashing. He might also be embarrassed of his friends but hangs out with them out of loyalty. Men also require a sense of independence, and of not being controlled by others, and he may subconsciously feel you are monitoring him and thus trying to control him by wanting to join him. I suggest you go out with your girlfriends, or do something you enjoy. After you’ve been married to this guy for 20 years, you’ll relish the time he is away from you. You’ll be upset that he is always around, bugging you.

Reply June 24, 2013, 6:23 am

D

Brooke, while he’s away you should do things that make you happy, take up a hobby, or go out with girlfriends. Make him wonder about what YOU are doing. Other than that, let him have his space.

Reply June 22, 2013, 12:53 am

Becca

This article was very onesided. How about what mean should do instead as well.

Reply June 21, 2013, 3:29 pm

Mallory

Before you decide to make complaints about something, you should really take the time to pay attention to the surrounding content; had you done that you would of realized this is a website aimed at offering FEMALES advice.

Reply July 8, 2013, 1:19 am

Brooke

I feel like framing wants/needs in a way that’s only positive can make it too subtle for the guy to realize you are wanting him to take action or even frustrating on my end because he can’t see how upset it really makes me. For example, my boyfriend doesn’t invite me to hang out with his friends much. The rare times it happens, I make sure I let him know it makes me happy when he includes me. So far that hasn’t made him do it any more than usual. Thoughts?

Reply June 17, 2013, 11:21 pm

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