Ask Me Anything – Sunday, December 13th @ 8 PM ET

I worked with a guy for 3 years. We got close and became really good friends. Just recently we started sleeping with each other but he has an Ex girlfriend he hasn’t quite let go.I feel like it’s a thing of she’s been around so long that letting her go is a scary thing for him. Is any real relationship with him doomed already? I feel like he enjoys our time together. He texts me everyday and goes out of his way to help me with random things done. He tells me his plans and I really feel like we have a connection. Other people have said it to me, that we have this vibe with each other that can be felt, that it’s obvious.

What do you do if a man won’t commit?

I have gotten so much useful information from subscribing to your emails! So helpful! Thank you. My question/situation: 2 + years, living together, decided to separate so we got our own space, still seeing one another and it’s great! but he will pull the no contact card out without notice If I text him a compliment. (There’s more to it than just a compliment but he deserves it!, he try’s to tell me he thinks I’m still in love with him, who gives a damn? That’s none of his business! Haha) it’s driving me crazy! It never lasts long a few hours, a day at most, I give his space because I need it too. How do I tell him that if I am making him feel like a winner it isn’t fair for me to feel like I’m not winning when he pulls that card?

Hi Eric and Sabrina,

My guy doesn’t want a relationship and is afraid of marriage. We are in a 24 hour long distance
“relationship” for more than 2 years!! We used to work together before that and got to know each other only for 5-6 months but no dating till the last month . Then I changed Job (which I had planned before but he didn’t know till that last month). I am in my late 20s. I will move to a place 4 hours from him in 1 month. I both do like each other and have been honest throughout as far as I know. I am also going through some career changes . I do see the potential in this guy but should I stay or just focus on myself and leave this “relationship”.

I am in school working on my degree and I met this guy who is really sweet, gentlemanly and we have a good time together. There are a couple of issues. Some superficial and some are not. The predominant issue is what he is studying in school he doesn’t actually have an affinity for and I don’t know if I can support him in a career that he will not be successful in… He also seems to be moving a little fast like stating that he wants me in his life for a long time etc. only after a few days of knowing each other and he just now went cold. No contact for a few days and I’m not sure how I feel about it because there are so many deal breakers in place already, but I still kind of like him. Thoughts?

Hi! I am in a LDR with someone who is 8 hours away. He and I started datin in September (met on eHarmony) – he referred to our phone conversation as a date (I didn’t think about that) but we talked basically every other day by text and calls in the beginning. At 6 weeks, we met halfway from where we both lived IRL, hit it off with amazing chemistry and ended up sleeping together. He was still pretty sweet to me when we returned to our homes but within days of meeting IRL, I misunderstood something he said and had a bit of a freak out. I realized that I overthought everything but could tell he was pissed at me. I tried apologizing but he didn’t contact me as much – just texting every few days to check in with me and call me once a week. It has been a month like this. I figured he just needed time and space so I gave it to him.

Now I think I have inadvertently set a standard with him because he now only calls me once a week and rarely texts me anymore. He still seems to want to talk to me and be with me sexually (and every once in a while that old spark comes back…the chemistry is still there) but I would like a way to encourage him to text me again the way we used to. He must still be interested in me because we have made plans to see each other at Christmas, but I just wish he would go back to involving me in his life more. Is there some way I can do that without having to outward mention that I don’t feel he is connecting with me as much as he used to before the misunderstanding and how I can encourage him to reconnect with me even somewhat the way we used to?

i met a divorce man w two kids. He is always busy with his kids, work and sport training. He also always cancel our date even if it is only a one hour lunch date. I only get to see him like 1 hour lunch a week or some time 2 hour after work in 3-4 weeks. The time we spend together is really little and as he cancel more and more often he also reduce his text because he claim busy. When I push him he said I am impatient and I keep pushing. He is a future talker and he tends to talk about a lot of things we might possibly do in the future, but with the amount of time we spend together I think that will only happen 2 years later and I don’t have the time for that. His text is always short and no feeling, hard to communicate using text. And he sheild his thing and what he do most of the time as he is very private so many time he avoid most of the question. It is hard to get him to share as he is someone who need to earn his trust but how to earn when text is not working and I don’t get to see him. It’s tiring. When the ex wife is in town for treatment he have someone to talk to at home he text lesser and meet even lesser.

I dated a guy who seems very confused. We dated and had amazing chemistry in and our of the bedroom, but eventually had to end it. He moved away because he was training to be in the army, so he didn’t want to be in a relationship. After evaluating the situation, I was fine with that. I was prepared to never speak to him again. But on the day that he was leaving, as we hugged goodbye, he said to me to contact him as he will have his current number for awhile still.

After several days, I decided to see how he was doing. And we sort of continued texting from there, almost every week, at least once or twice. About a month and a half later, I needed to know what he was thinking, he gave me his new number and would continue to text me, but never seemed to have much interest in how my life is doing. So I brought up how I was feeling and that’s when he told me that he feels like I may not be his “forever match”. He said that he’s not sure if that is how he really feels as he under a lot of stress but he likes me a lot and thinks I’m really sweet. I said my “goodbye” and stopped speaking to him, I deserve better than that.

Am I being too harsh?

Hi Eric/Sabrina, What makes a guy like a girl enough to ask her out? What are some signs he wants to ask her out?

Sould we have audio with this?

I was recently dating this guy for the past five months. Things were going good, except the occasional ignoring my calls when he went home to visit his family. I moved to another city and would come back to visit him on weekends. The last time I seen him we had a great time together, but after that weekend he just started ignoring my calls and texts for about a week. He would then call out of the blue and act as everything is fine. I then decided to stop contacting him and move on. He then started calling and texting me weekly, “just to check on me.”

I would just like to know what was up with the check ins after we suddenly just started ignoring each other?

If it is about “winning” with men, is cheating inevitable? Meaning, the thrill of the hunt/conquering by being with different women? Also, is “losing” for some men mean being with someone who is sick?

I made a mistake a big one a few months ago. I hurt a a guy friend. I tried to apologise but they felt I was insincere. He told me to never contact him. I felt very lost sad and anxious for several months. I feel like in my heart I tried and I think I’m finally ready to just let it be and move on. I’ve done a lot of soul searching and growing but wondering if reaching out would be ok. Not sure what to do? Should I just let him be or try to fix things?