Home › Forums › The Community Lounge › Ask Me Anything – Sunday, December 13th @ 8 PM ET
This topic contains 363 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Eric Charles 7 years, 3 months ago.
December 13, 2015 at 7:59 pm #487209
Guys are usually very into me in the beginning of the courtship/relationship but as things starts getting serious and starts progressing they would step back and look at me as someone to just have sex with.
Can you give me some insight as to what causes that?December 13, 2015 at 7:59 pm #487210
Heartbreak after heartbreak, I have lost faith and hope in love. I keep myself busy with school and friends and I love my life in general, but how do I restore faith in my love life? I’m a hopeless romantic :(December 13, 2015 at 7:59 pm #487211
How do I get a guy who was once interested in me interested again? We ended it on good term because of conflicting schedules and him unable to follow through with plans even though he kept saying he wanted to.December 13, 2015 at 8:00 pm #487213
I constantly have friends, friends of friends (male), random men saying that I’m “intimidating.”
Even after we have a friendly conversation and I agree to hand off my phone number. But I feel as if that “intimidation” is what prevents them from calling or seeing me. I don’t know why I’m so “intimidating” and how I can redirect that without putting up a fake front, and for men to not be “scared” of me. I’m not scary! Thanks.December 13, 2015 at 8:00 pm #487214
PS – Thank you and Sabrina for giving to the universe in this way – you have matured me in many ways relationship wise. Sincere thank you!December 13, 2015 at 8:00 pm #487215
My guy best friend from HS and I have had our ups and downs for the past 10 years (we’re 27 now) It’s seems as though no matter where we go in life we always find ourselves back into each other’s lives. In my perspective, after HS and going into college into present times, I’ve always felt that he likes me but won’t come out and say it. He’s always asking me about who I’m dating or if I’m in a relationship and with who. I feel as though if he did have feelings he should come right out and say so right? After all guys go after what they want no matter what right? Or do you think he’s waiting for a sign from me as a green light to go ahead and pursue? I’m just confused. Please help!December 13, 2015 at 8:00 pm #487216
My ex boyfriend sends me mixed signals and im not sure what to say to figure out where his mind is at with out making him pull away? He intiates the contact, but i can’t distinguish if hes really wanting to try to work things out to see where they go. Im confused and need expert advice! Dont want to mess up any chance i have with himDecember 13, 2015 at 8:01 pm #487218
Hey please help! My ex and I broke up 5 months ago due to my depression turning me into basically a monster… after about 3 months of no contact I started texting him and sometimes I got really great responses, other times he just seemed disinterested (nothing negative though). I’d pretty much given up hope that he would ever like me again but I invited him to come to the gym with me, it was a lot of fun and he kissed me out of nowhere afterward. I told him I wasn’t expecting that, but I didn’t want him getting the idea I’d be his friends with benefits. He said he knew that and he missed me but was happy lately being single and needed to focus on his grades so he didn’t want to date then basically he said we’d reevaluate next semester. After that more texting some banter and flirting etc but still some indifference though. Next we physically saw eachother was at our university’s winter gala. He came to greet me the second I walked in, at one point he kissed me on the forehead when he was walking away to see another friend, and then later in the night he pulled me to him to dance with me and he gave me one quick kiss while we were dating. But then later he pulled my best friend away to talk and just blurted out he doesn’t want to get back together with me but he wants to sleep with me. She said I would never do that and he said he knew, so she asked why he kissed me and he said he doesn’t know. And he said he knows I’ve changed but he still doesn’t want to date me, he just wants to be fwb. They were both pretty drunk at this point so idk how much that influenced the validity of this conversation. He was being so sweet to me though, and he made all the moves never me, and he never tried to get me to go home with him. It’s like his actions toward me don’t match up with what he is saying to others. I’ve never known him to be manipulative (and we dated almost 3 years) so what gives? Did he lie when he said he possibly wanted to date again next semester? My friend says she think he knows I still have feelings for him so he’s just trying to keep me in his back pocket… I still love him and I don’t know what to do.December 13, 2015 at 8:01 pm #487219
Hi there my question is this, I am with a man currently who is head over heels for me and ready to propose, however my mind seems to keep drifting to a previous relationship I had before him. The previous relationship the man, Lee, wasn’t available emotionally. He had been cheated on in the past and had trust and commitment issues. I eventually moved on despite still having feelings for him and then found my guy now who is great. Lee was upset when he found out I had a new guy, but he never would commit to me. My problem is I can’t seem to reach that same level of emotional connection with my new guy as I did before and I just want to make sure I should continue with my current relationship.December 13, 2015 at 8:01 pm #487220
Is it okay for an 18 year old female to date a 24 year old male?December 13, 2015 at 8:01 pm #487221
Letter to Sabrina
Six months ago, the owner of my yoga studio – a man ten years older than me – we’ll call him Jonah – asked me out via email by going into the studio database to get my email. I thought – huh, weird move. I am attracted to him but never ever crossed paths with him until eight months into going to the studio, then this. definitely a strange way to start this.
I didn’t know his intentions exactly. But I moved last year and am still building up my base where I now live and want more friends and have been open to starting a relationship too so either one I was at least somewhat interested in and wanted to explore. I said I’d go to tea, on a Sunday evening. We just talked and tea turned into dinner too. Nothing more happened. I liked talking to him a lot but was not into him. He asked me out the next day for that night, to go to a waterfall after yoga. Sure, why the hell not. Again, seemed rather forward and impulsive but figured eh, ok.
We were hungry after, I’d mentioned my favorite seafood place and he drove us there without me realizing. Took me out to fancy fish and oysters. Wow. Now I’m starting to like him -ish.
So let’s cut right to the chase. Then I stupidly slept with him that night. Second date. And I didn’t even really like him. It just felt fun and nice and I didn’t care, I hadn’t slept with anyone in 5 months so why not. (I HAD NOT DISCOVERED A NEW MODE YET. Otherwise I’d of known WHY NOT.
Next day when I’d left, I was like oh my god I shouldn’t of done that – I don’t even have real feelings, or know him, I was just exploring, why the hell did I do that? I just want to be friends.
He had different sentiments. He went to California for a few days and while away he messaged me everyday. And called.
When he returned, I reached out to him to make plans, which he immediately rearranged his schedule to accommodate. My plan was to see him and try to take back the sex and just explore hanging out as friends. Ha. Oh the naiveté.
When I saw him, he looked even better then he had before, and he was wildly affectionate, sweet. Open. And then – wait for it Sabrina – in talking he tells me his ex fiancé of ten years left him, a mere three months ago.
And I’m the first woman he has been with since.
My thinking in hindsight is: Ah. NOW I see. This at least in part explains the enthusiasm and insistence with which this man pursued and responded to me. And why he reached out.
He had assured me it had not been a big dramatic break up and played the entire thing down very much so. Acted as though he was not the least bit broken up about it. This coupled with my original feelings, I told him I just want to take it slow. Not be sexual.
Well that didn’t happen.
We dated for three months.
And though he treated me well, texted every day, always thanked me for my time after we hung out, constantly complimented me and told me how beautiful and intelligent I am, how lucky he was to have met me, told he how deeply and strongly he felt for me very consistently, told me how deep of a connection he felt for me and confided so much in me, he was also so guarded and the entire time I felt this uneasiness.
Over time pieces came together, and it became clear he was not only V E R Y broken up about the 9 year relationship, and that she and left him in a very dramatic way that really devastated him; moved out entirely while he was out one day. Just gone when he got home – but was also still in communication with his ex fiancé and even BIRD SAT for her. He assured me it was all just logistical oriented interactions about collecting mail and sorting bills etc. but I knew in my heart that he was absolutely in no state to be starting something new and was not really available to meet me in what I was bringing to the table in terms of openness, emotional exclusivity in my heart, and commitment level.
And he had TERRIBLE reactivity over things so small and benign and would get SO deeply hurt and then close off and distance for days at a time with only texts when that happened. It was really charged.
And so I broke it off. In a way that was a bit reactive and I had not felt good about it, but knew it was right to have ended things at this time.
We met a few months after that to try to explain things to one another…& he is all over the map.
My questions for you are: 1) you guys say if a guy says he is not ready to be with you, he does not like you enough. Do you think this is an exception to that rule? That he has had real feelings but earnestly is not able to bring what a person needs to bring in order to have a real relationship? And 2) do you think this man can be in a relationship with me in time, or no. If so, what do you think needs to transpire for that possibility to work out? I am not going to wait around – if someone wonderful comes along while this an is healing, I will not hesitate to explore that. But I do care a lot about this person, genuinely so and al curious to hear your opinion because I value your input a lot. Thank you!December 13, 2015 at 8:02 pm #487222
I’m dating a guy who texts more than he calls. I’ve been clear from the beginning that texting is my least favorite way to communicate. Even when texting he’ll go hours before responding, so I’m going to end our “getting to know you phase” purely based on a conflict of communication. I’ll be taking the passive aggressive approach and by not responding to his text messages. Why do guys text more than call?December 13, 2015 at 8:02 pm #487223
I am waiting on money from a car accident I was involved in. Will it be coming my way any time soon.December 13, 2015 at 8:02 pm #487224
I am waiting on money from a car accident I was involved in. Will it be coming my way any time soon.December 13, 2015 at 8:02 pm #487225
I am waiting on money from a car accident I was involved in. Will it be coming my way any time soon.December 13, 2015 at 8:02 pm #487226
For the past couple of month’s my ex has a girlfriend that lives with him, but keeps telling me he miss me and loves me. Everytime he sees me he cant control his self and hugs and kisses me. But the next day he acts cold. So i believe what he says to me or just pay no mind. We have to communication because of a child we have together.December 13, 2015 at 8:02 pm #487227
Hi. I been going out with a guy for two weeks now and been on two dates with him and will be having a third date this week. Is something up when I have to make the call and plan the date? Also, when I text him, he doesn’t get back to me till a day later but I see him online on a dating website at the same time. I feel like he’s not that into me but he said he would tell me up front if he wasn’t. He always tells me he enjoys our dates together. I’m confused.December 13, 2015 at 8:02 pm #487228
I’ve been dating a guy for almost a year now. Up until a couple of months ago, things have been great. Lately, however, he’s been distant. He says he’s trying to work on some things about himself and just needs me to be patient. I trust that he’s not seeing anyone else. And it was suggested to me that he might be having a tough time dealing with his feelings for me (i.e. falling in love). Is it common for men to begin acting strangely when they are falling in love? Or should I assume he’s lost interest and doesn’t have the heart to end it?December 13, 2015 at 8:03 pm #487229
My ex broke my heart six months ago. Claimed he still loved me and was attracted to me, but he lost the butterflies. He told me he wanted to be friends because I’m an amazing person. Bumped into him a few times and it went fine. We even made plans to grab lunch for his birthday.
Fast forward to November. I bump into him at a bar and he is hardcore kissing another girl in front of me. Having a few drinks in me, I text him telling him how awful he is, that I would never act that way if the roles were reversed. I blocked him and we didn’t speak for a month. Ran into him again and he was lingering in my vicinity, trying to make small talk. Then a week later I bump into him again and he’s with the same girl and she is all over him, staring at me. This time I decided to maintain my conposure.
I don’t understand how someone who claims they once loved you could do this. Do you think he’s a narcissist? Why would someone intentionally go out of their way to hurt an ex who did them no wrong?December 13, 2015 at 8:03 pm #487230
Just coming out of a one year on again, off again relationship where I felt treated as an option. I realized it was a year of empty promises, and one where I believe he was also seeing others (even tho’ we agreed to be exclusive).
Here’s the thing, I am having an awful time getting over this man. The obsessive thoughts really bother me. Any “quick tricks” to get this out of my head?
And when would be the right time to get back out there to date again?December 13, 2015 at 8:03 pm #487231
Broke up with my ex because we could never see each other. 2 weeks after he dumped me he claimed to have found someone new. He now sleeps with girls every week and rubs it in my face. How do I get him back?December 13, 2015 at 8:03 pm #487232
For the past couple of month’s my ex has a girlfriend that lives with him, but keeps telling me he miss me and loves me. Everytime he sees me he cant control his self and hugs and kisses me. But the next day he acts cold. Should i believe what he says to me or just pay no mind. We have to communication because of a child we have together.December 13, 2015 at 8:04 pm #487233
How to tell a guy your crushing on them ?
What does it mean when you work with your crush and they always seems to want you to help them with a task and they always seem to look at you ?December 13, 2015 at 8:04 pm #487234
I have been in a long distant relationship for almost 15 years off and on. We are very passionate for each other. During this time he has a relationship with another woman that he claims isn’t romantic at all but yet they seem to have a lot of common stuff together and have lived with each other off and on, soon to buy a house together. He still claims it is nothing. He is 13 years older at 65 and I am 53. He says we will discuss it but it needs to be when we see each other. We Skype and text, talk but physically don’t see each other maybe 4 times a year.
I have tried to break it off many times through the years but am totally in love with him and he with me.
What is wrong with me? Should I stick with my gut and keep this up?December 13, 2015 at 8:04 pm #487235
If you have been hooking up casually with someone:
a) how do you bring up the conversation of what are we, if you want to make it more serious/exclusive
b) how do you turn this hook up into something serious? AKA how do you make the guy fall in love with you?
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