Home › Forums › The Community Lounge › Ask Me Anything – Sunday, December 13th @ 8 PM ET
- This topic has 362 replies and was last updated 8 years, 12 months ago by Eric Charles.
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December 13, 2015 at 8:04 pm #487236Nicole
Me & my ex have been broken up for about 6 months now. He’s been dating a new girl for 3 months now. We were in a serious long term relationship for about 3 years. He was even looking at engagement rings at the start of the summer but bailed out on me out of nowhere. & moved on so fast. I was really lost and confused as to why this man that I spent 3 years with would hurt me like this after promising he never would. We never really had closure. It was a very messy break up. We don’t speak but he still looks at my social media and even retweets some of my tweets every now & then. What exactly does this mean, if it means anything?
December 13, 2015 at 8:04 pm #487237MarinaHi, I have been dating different guys for like a long time and I haven’t found a guy that I actually have a connection with but like if I meet a guy I want to take my time to know him but guys don’t want that they ask you for sex right away what should I do? Just keep looking or stop dating? I really don’t know I’ve been single for 4 years now and I would like some love in my life.
December 13, 2015 at 8:04 pm #487238Eric CharlesKeymasterNafeesa – His father died and you’re wondering why he isn’t responding to your texts? Leave him be and let him grieve and much as he needs to.
Lili – When is it OK to express interest on Facebook? Whenever you want, as long as you aren’t breaking any laws. Expressing interest isn’t going to turn someone off – if they’re into you, they’re going to be glad you did. If they’re not into you, you didn’t screw anything up anyway.
December 13, 2015 at 8:04 pm #487239KatStill very unsure of how to ease a man towards at least a conversation about dating in a more formal or committed way. It seems that once you have sex (while not immediate) men are moving on. I get the need for the chase but how do I keep him chasing.
Love all your emails!
Thanks Kat……….
December 13, 2015 at 8:04 pm #487240LissaHi. I been going out with a guy for two weeks now and been on two dates with him and will be having a third date this week. Is something up when I have to make the call and plan the date? Also, when I text him, he doesn’t get back to me till a day later but I see him online on a dating website at the same time. I feel like he’s not that into me but he said he would tell me up front if he wasn’t. He always tells me he enjoys our dates together. I’m confused.
Thanks
December 13, 2015 at 8:05 pm #487241MaddieI was best friends with this guy and we both started to have a thing and then he ended it because he wasn’t ready for a relationship how can I get our friendship back and not make it awkward?
December 13, 2015 at 8:05 pm #487242SylvieCan’t wait to get the book, your previous ones and the newsletters helped me get my ex back ????. We are trying this again. My question: what is your best recommendation to handle miscommunications and avoid another break up.
December 13, 2015 at 8:05 pm #487243Red QueenI noticed some guys I meet will pursue me in the begining and then drop it. Should I eventually initiate contact to let them know I’m interested? Is my lack of initiating passing the idea I’m not interested? How can I balance the pushs and pulls?
December 13, 2015 at 8:05 pm #487244ivisHi I’m in love with a guy that I’ve been friends with for over a year. I’ve told him how I felt and we’ve even acted upon our feelings for one another. The problem is that were both involved with other people. He’s requested that I leave my situation and be with him but he refuses to give up his situation. He wants me but it seems to me that I’m just a convince to him. How do I make him see that I am so much more?
December 13, 2015 at 8:05 pm #487245KaitlinI will make a long story short. Girl(that’s. Me) starts a new job,girl meets cute coworker,he flirts she flirts,girl turns stupid girl and texts the guy first 3 times every few days for homework,guys backs off, girl expresses feelings(through text),guy doesn’t respond, guy acts rude at work and then turns nice. Basically what I want to know is when you’ve already expressed your feelings to a guy that had genuine interest in you but no longer does because you got clingy. Is there anyway to make him chase you again, or is there anyway to make him interested again? Also why is it after I told him how I felt he’s rude to me at work the day after but then acts nice and helpful the day after that? I’m an 18 yo girl so be brutally honest!
December 13, 2015 at 8:05 pm #487246KarlaI’m dating this guy for for two months. He’s going on vacation for 1 month and I’m worried that he might end up hooking up with someone else on his trip. How can trust him that he won’t cheat on me?
Thanks
December 13, 2015 at 8:05 pm #487247MarieHello there,
I have this issue that I do not trust men. I’m always afraid i gonna get hurt, I’ve been played to many times that is heart breaking. I’ve work on myself alot, to get back my confidence, to let that role of victim go, I’m trying I know many of the bad experiences that i’ve had are because I lack experience and perspective and put alot in something that wasn’t. But know, I want to remain in control of my life and feelings again, so I can trust and find love, I don’t even do anything because I’m so terrified. What would you recomend me to do?Also, the relationship with my that has always been some kind of cold. He doesn’t speak too much nor accepts he’s wrong, so for me nowadays is been hard, and I know it’s not his fault but there has to be something related, I always end up with this kind of people that doesn’t speak about their feelings, you see? What would be the best thing for me to do? Is there any hope? I know there is. Thank you in advance if you could answer me.
December 13, 2015 at 8:05 pm #487248CamilaWhat advise can you give to someone with avoidance attachment from fear of being hurt? How can they learn to let go of the past? How can they learn to build better relationships and not let simple disappoints get to them?
December 13, 2015 at 8:06 pm #487249lovely01Hi guy!
I am in school working on my Bachelors and I met this guy who is really sweet, gentlemanly and we have a good time together. There are aa couple issues. Some superficial and some are not. The predominant issue is what he is studying in school he doesn’t actually have an affinity for and I don’t know if I can support him in a career that he will not be successful in… He also seems to be moving a little fast like stating that he wants me in his life for a long time etc. only after a few days of knowing each other and he just now went cold. No contact for a few days and I’m not sure how I feel about it because there are so many deal breakers in place already, but I still kind of like him. Thoughts?
December 13, 2015 at 8:06 pm #487250Mandy RoseHey! So i’ve been friends with this guy eversince i was about 16 now 25. Lately we’ve been texting and spending more together. More than usual. However he’s always busy with school and work. But he makes sure to always make time for me. So i asked him if he wanted to go to the movies. At first he told me he was too busy but then he invites me to the new Starwars movie with one other guy friend WOOHOO! lol. So i got super excited about that. Then at a party we hooked up again. We danced, laughing i cheered for him playing darts and i find myself thinking of him more and more often. He always looks in my eyes and smiles at me. Is it possible he wants to be more than just friends? I feel like i’m falling for him as we spend more time together. What do you think? Do I have a chance with him? {Please be gentle with comments/ Reply. That’s all i ask}- Thanks!
December 13, 2015 at 8:06 pm #487251ShanaMy married ex has reconnected with me in the last couple of months. He is not happy in his 2 year old marriage (arranged by his parents) but says he will compromise and live with her since they just had a baby. We have been in touch for a couple of months but just with texts and since we live in different cities there is no question of cheating. However, his talks do get romantic or emotional from time to time. Since his parents are here because of the baby’s birth, he is surrounded by people. Yet he wants to text/chat with me all the time. I’m unable to understand his motive. He seems to have everything in his life – so why does he need me around him? Should I cut out communication with him? I’m unable to understand his motives.
December 13, 2015 at 8:06 pm #487252ReenaI am sort of seeing a widower (of 64) who lost his wife one year ago (I’m 62 and lost my husband to cancer 2.5 years ago). He is good looking, wealthy and conservative (all the things I don’t trust)but he’s also thoroughly nice, and a very loving person. He is very drawn to me, but keeps sending me mi(perhaps he feels guilty because it’s so soon and because I’m so different from his wife). He keeps sending me mixed messages because I don’t think he knows what to do with his attraction to me. I’ve tried backing away and playing it cool but he keeps reaching out to me. We are also from different races. I can’t see this ever working, but I’m lonely and I am really wanting some companionship. I don’t know how long I can take this push-pull from him. Thoughts?
December 13, 2015 at 8:06 pm #487253allisonAlso one more – How should I go about reminding my boyfriend of something important without being nagging or annoying?
He isn’t as organized as me and does things at the last minute, which I find is common among all men not just him.
For example, if I need to remind him about a suit for a weeding and make sure he has dress shoes and all the necessary things for an event like that.December 13, 2015 at 8:06 pm #487254karenHow should you be around an ex you dated only for a short time but are interested in getting back together. Specifically in a social setting. Ignore and wait for them to approach? Or be happy and polite and let them see that I’m ok without them. I’m getting conflicting advice from friends.
December 13, 2015 at 8:07 pm #487255lovely01Hi guys!
I am in school working on my degree and I met this guy who is really sweet, gentlemanly and we have a good time together. There are aa couple issues. Some superficial and some are not. The predominant issue is what he is studying in school he doesn’t actually have an affinity for and I don’t know if I can support him in a career that he will not be successful in… He also seems to be moving a little fast like stating that he wants me in his life for a long time etc. only after a few days of knowing each other and he just now went cold. No contact for a few days and I’m not sure how I feel about it because there are so many deal breakers in place already, but I still kind of like him. Thoughts?
December 13, 2015 at 8:07 pm #487256lovely01Hi guy!
I am in school working on my degree and I met this guy who is really sweet, gentlemanly and we have a good time together. There are aa couple issues. Some superficial and some are not. The predominant issue is what he is studying in school he doesn’t actually have an affinity for and I don’t know if I can support him in a career that he will not be successful in… He also seems to be moving a little fast like stating that he wants me in his life for a long time etc. only after a few days of knowing each other and he just now went cold. No contact for a few days and I’m not sure how I feel about it because there are so many deal breakers in place already, but I still kind of like him. Thoughts?
December 13, 2015 at 8:07 pm #487257MariahDoes it mean that he’s definitely not seeing me as girlfriend material if a week after date # 2 (the first two were amazing and romantic and he’s shown a ton of respect and affection)
he texts me all day and then eventually invites me over after for what I assume is a hookup?
I am so into him and was really, really dissapointed when he did that, but my friend (male) says that it doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t see me as a potential girlfriend in the future. He seemed so “perfect” otherwise.December 13, 2015 at 8:07 pm #487258LucieI am a healthy woman who is 5’3″ and weighs 120 pounds. My boyfriend lives 6000 miles away from me but we skype and text and call each other constantly and plan to visit. Only thing is he is obsessed with having me gain 50 pounds. He says he wants a “fat chick”. Please explain this to me.
December 13, 2015 at 8:07 pm #487259SarahMy bf of 7 mths and I are having difficulties communicating. I know the differences in the way women & men communicate but it seems I am always the one compromising. Many of our disagreements end with him saying that if I love him, I should just “enjoy” our time together. However, he does things & says things that don’t make it enjoyable. He does not take responsibility for any of his bad behaviour or hurtful words. Sometimes he says sorry, sometimes he doesn’t. I try & talk to him which is usually not successful. When should I stop compromising?
December 13, 2015 at 8:07 pm #487260MarieHello there,
I have this issue that I do not trust men. I’m always afraid i gonna get hurt, I’ve been played to many times that is heart breaking. I’ve work on myself alot, to get back my confidence, to let that role of victim go, I’m trying I know many of the bad experiences that i’ve had are because I lacked experience and perspective and put alot in something that wasn’t. I don’t even do anything because I’m so terrified. What would you recomend me to do?Also, the relationship with my that has always been some kind of cold. He doesn’t speak too much nor accepts he’s wrong, I know it’s not his fault but there has to be something related, you see? What would be the best thing for me to do?
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