Ask Me Anything – Sunday, December 13th @ 8 PM ET


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This topic contains 363 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Eric Charles 5 years, 9 months ago.

Viewing 25 posts - 301 through 325 (of 364 total)
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  • #487508

    patty

    My boyfriend lives in another state and recently went back home from being here on vacation. I sent him a text asking him if he had settled back in at home and if he forgot me. Its been 5 days and i havent heard from him. Is this soething that could upset a guy after we shared a wonderful time together ?

    #487510

    Aqsa

    I am in a relationship for the past 4 years. We have been dating on and off since then. Recently he broke up with me but I still convinced him for a chance at the relationship. He is talking to me but he is very formal in the conversation. He was showering me with lots of love just before the break up. So right now I am lost as to how to get things back on track

    #487511

    Ashley Kushner

    In case it wasn’t posted the first time: been dating a guy for 3 years. Never officially been in relationships. Keeps telling me he wants to be in relationship with me one day when he is emotionally ready. We have discussed marriage twice. He started the conversations. Should I wait for him or not?

    #487512

    Mary Jane

    My boyfriend broke up with me in oct. on my birthday after going together for a year. He went back to his ex girl friend. Why did he do this after a year. I had no indication that he want to break up. it was a all of a sudden action

    #487513

    Effleurer

    Hey Eric!

    So my bf of 2 1/2 years broke up with me over a month ago, after someone who was near to him died and I didn’t notice him being so sad and so we fought over something ridiculous and he broke up with me, saying I am selfish and it’s better for us.

    2 weeks later I called him and we met to talk, we talked for hours and he said he still loves me a lot but he thinks we maybe don’t fit and we’re too young and he has commitment issues and that he thinks it could work in the future. That he would love to be able to tell me he just needs time but that he doesn’t know how much time he needs and he doesn’t want me to wait for him.

    So we had some issues but they were minor, it was mostly small fights that we discussed the same day and were okay afterwards. I think he doesn’t know how to deal with the death and he needs space.

    Now I’ve gone NC for almost a month, I have been doing research on how to improve myself and have been doing good mostly. I know what I need to improve and have been working on it, for myself and not for him. He hasn’t contacted me either although he said he wants to stay friends and that he is always there for me and that it’s not the end, that he still has hopes that it could work in the future, because if it’s mend to be, it will happen.

    So for next week I was invited to a party by one of his friends, that would be a day after a month NC.

    My question is, should I go? I want to get him back and I want to fight for it, so at least I can say I tried even if I fail. But I don’t know if a party is a good start or if I should just start texting him and maybe start meeting him again.
    What is your advise?

    Thank you!

    #487515

    Eric Charles
    Keymaster

    Camila – Nobody knows what the future holds, so the best anyone can talk about is a “good bet”.

    A “good bet” that you’re with the right person is that you are always on each other’s side and have each other’s backs, even in (especially in) arguments or disagreements.

    Warning signs are when one person is “against” the other person, as if the other person is their adversary, enemy or opponent.

    Another warning sign is if one or both of you do things to get the other one to do something, say something, be something… or else. That’s a big warning sign.

    Regarding happiness and confidence. A big pointer is that you, and only you, are 100% responsible for your moods, emotions, actions and reactions. Nobody else is responsible for yours, and you are not responsible for theirs. When you can 100% realize and embrace this, you’ll also realize that its up to you to make your own mood, comfort, happiness, well-being your responsibility and priority because nobody else will (nor should they try).

    I understand what it’s like to feel unappreciated or be self-conscious. Thing is, even there, you’re looking to others to “make you feel” a certain way about yourself. They are not ULTIMATELY responsible for how you feel about yourself, and you’re not ULTIMATELY responsible for how anyone else feels. When you realize that you ULTIMATELY have control over your emotions, mood, actions and reactions, your entire life (and love life) will shift.

    #487516

    Angella

    how to distinguish if a guy treats me so nicely and seemed sincere when we are together really likes me or actually has other intention?

    i met this guy a few months ago when we were both traveling in asia. we spent two days together. it was fun and he was so nice. took my to good restaurants, we went shopping, so gentle and considerate when we were together. sex was amazing though i did not fancy him.
    in the past four months after the trip, we only messaged once on his birthday because i thought friends would send bd wishes. i tried to be nice because i felt that he was nicer to me than I did.

    last month, he suddenly messaged me that he is visiting my country in December for two weeks, asking me if I’d be around and asking me for trip advice. i was busy and i tried to avoid spending too much time with him so i only set up two days for him at the end of his stay.
    we had dinner and drinks together, was nice to catch up. he kept saying he came to see me, he’s upset i couldnt spend more time with him, he will take me to good places if i go visit him; he could connect me with some job opportunities and he wants to help me because i’m really special and he believes that i’ll be so successful; he invited me to a trip in Dec and a trip next Feb, saying i don’t need to worry about any expense.
    he was so nice and seemed very sincere i felt like he likes me but also felt skeptical at the same time.
    he wanted to take me home but i didn’t want to. we’ve talked for like 2 hours i told him how things are different after half a year and i thought we’ve reached consensus that we could be friends.
    on his leaving day i was nearby his hotel so i went say goodbye we had lunch(he thought i went to have sex with him…) so i made it clear again i don’t want to do it. then we had pretty good conversation in the afternoon then he decided to changed his flight to spend more time with me.
    the trip ended up with no sex just talking. i thought we could be friends and he did send a friendly message before he got aboard. however after a few messages he stopped messaging. just a few days ago i shared with him an article related to our conversation but he hasn’t replied yet.

    is it normal when a guy show up after a few months no contact being so nice to me just because he likes me?
    did i do anything wrong to mislead him or hurt his men pride because i didn’t believe him he just wants to be nice to me?
    should i try to message again even if he doesn’t text back? (i really want to be friends with him)

    #487517

    María

    Hi! Thank you for answering!!
    So this is about how to know if you should work with someone to make them your partner for life or move on.
    I’ve known Jon for 5 years — we dated the first 3, and were very serious and loved eachother. But we argued bc he wanted smoke pot or drink daily, whereas I did not, except for drinking socially – not enough to be drunk though. Also he’d sometimes use acid with his friends. Anyhow, I broke it off due to these reasons.
    After about a year of trying to convince me to be with him, he got another girlfriend. They dated for almost a year, and when they broke up, he contacted me, and I got back together with him. He gives me the ultimate feeling of trust and comfort and safety. I love being with him.
    However…..
    Come to find out, his ex girlfriend is pregnant. She is the ex from hell.Currently she’s on the other side of the country. The breakup was hard on her and she had to leave to live with her dad (28 years old). He is lying to her about me. He tells her he is single and just wants to be single. She found out about me because we all got chlamydia and no one knows who got it and spread it. All I know is that it was not me.
    I’m just not sure why I’m doing this. She messages me everyday, asking if I’m with him, and at first I was honest and said yes, but Jon has gotten mad at me for talking to her and says to lie about being with him, because it will hurt her and she will beat me up. Sounds stupid. I know. But she is a judo person and has beat Jon up before.
    Am I holding on to potential for a happy future or am I just setting myself up for tears and pain?

    #487518

    priya

    hey guys
    so I’ve been dating my bf over 14 months and from the start it’s been rocky but it’s got really bad the last few months. I live with my parents and I’m in grad school. so we don’t have a normal relationship (we’re both in our 30s and my situation isn’t the best for a relationship) but we both want a future with each other we just are so stubborn. we fight about just everything mostly small issues we never make it to big issues, but no matter how big the fight we still text everyday. I know it’s not easy for him, and I tend to fall hard and I really want him. I think he’s pretty close to giving up (he’s less affectionate and he doesn’t reply to my flirty texts and is now taking longer and longer to reply to texts). I’m not nuts I don’t send a million msgs and wait all day for his reply with nothing else going on but it does upset me what happening and how neither of us is getting what we want. we both love each other and I’d like to know if situations like this have any hope of standing the rest of time?

    #487519

    Lori

    I’ve been seeing a guy friend from 20 plus years ago privately. I’m divorced with 2 children should and he has never been married. I know he loves me and I love him too. I am very busy with my children and they are always with me. I hardly ever have anytime without them right now so we don’t go out and he just comes to see me at night after my children are in bed. They have not met him yet a nd He has said he is concerned about how they will handle the situation. He never texts or calls me, but wants me to be the one to contact him whenever I can see him since he knows I have priorities with my children. Anytime I ask he always makes the time to see me. He is very affectionate so I think this is very important to him in a relationship. Is this common for some men to wait for a woman to contact them knowing they have priorities, such as taking care of children? In some ways I wish he would make more initial contact and take more of a lead, but in another way it makes me feel comfortable that he isn’t putting any pressure on me like other men have since I’ve been divorced. What do you think?

    #487520

    Lori

    I’ve been seeing a guy friend from 20 plus years ago privately. I’m divorced with 2 children should and he has never been married. I know he loves me and I love him too. I am very busy with my children and they are always with me. I hardly ever have anytime without them right now so we don’t go out and he just comes to see me at night after my children are in bed. They have not met him yet a nd He has said he is concerned about how they will handle the situation. He never texts or calls me, but wants me to be the one to contact him whenever I can see him since he knows I have priorities with my children. Anytime I ask he always makes the time to see me. He is very affectionate so I think this is very important to him in a relationship. Is this common for some men to wait for a woman to contact them knowing they have priorities, such as taking care of children? In some ways I wish he would make more initial contact and take more of a lead, but in another way it makes me feel comfortable that he isn’t putting any pressure on me like other men have since I’ve been divorced. What do you think?

    #487521

    Effleurer

    Hey Eric!

    So my bf of 2 1/2 years broke up with me over a month ago, after someone who was near to him died and I didn’t notice him being so sad and so we fought over something ridiculous and he broke up with me, saying I am selfish and it’s better for us.

    2 weeks later I called him and we met to talk, we talked for hours and he said he still loves me a lot but he thinks we maybe don’t fit and we’re too young and he has commitment issues and that he thinks it could work in the future. That he would love to be able to tell me he just needs time but that he doesn’t know how much time he needs and he doesn’t want me to wait for him.

    So we had some issues but they were minor, it was mostly small fights that we discussed the same day and were okay afterwards. I think he doesn’t know how to deal with the death and he needs space.

    Now I’ve gone NC for almost a month, I have been doing research on how to improve myself and have been doing good mostly. I know what I need to improve and have been working on it, for myself and not for him. He hasn’t contacted me either although he said he wants to stay friends and that he is always there for me and that it’s not the end, that he still has hopes that it could work in the future, because if it’s mend to be, it will happen.

    So for next week I was invited to a party by one of his friends, that would be a day after a month NC.

    My question is, should I go? I want to get him back and I want to fight for it, so at least I can say I tried even if I fail. But I don’t know if a party is a good start or if I should just start texting him and maybe start meeting him again.
    What is your advise?

    Thank you!

    #487522

    justina

    Myself and my lover he made plans for us to be together as a couple FINALY after 7 years of back and forth and hardship tough relationship then a woman came in between us again am so done but he keeps holding on and so do I. The love is powerful but am so tired do I throw in the towel. I don’t know what to do at this point he told me things will get better and he is working on himself. Thank you for all the points and suggestions. I did every excerise and practice all your Points and they work. Thank you once again.

    #487523

    patty g

    I am in a loving long distance relationship with a wonderful man. He was recently down on vacation and a few days after he left and went back home I rexted him and asked him if he had settled back in and did he forget me. I havent heard anything back from him in rgards to this text. Should I be worried he took my text wrong about forgeting me or am I worrying for nothing ?

    #487524

    s

    Please, help!
    Met this guy online and have been talking for a couple weeks. But never wants to meet me anywhere. He is trying to reset up his business that burned and has two kids that he shares custody. He says he is tired and that he is stressed out and I believe him cause he has sent me pictures of all as proof. We don’t talk or text a whole lot but he does text me good morning everyday and text on his way home and a couple times at night.

    How do I take this. We flirt but and keep trying to meet but he doesn’t follow through what should I make of the whole thing?

    #487525

    JJ

    I met an incredible guy whilst I was working in my company’s office abroad in Asia. We moved in together after a month and went on 4 holidays in 2 months, I was so happy! When my placement abroad came to an end it was so sad to say goodbye, he said he loved me but didn’t want to go long distance as we weren’t sure when we’d be together again and had only been together a short while.

    We stayed in touch with messages and FaceTime when we could, but weren’t official anymore and kept things casual.

    After being back in the States for a month he flew over to visit me for a weekend – we never talked about what this meant but things were just like when I was living with him in Asia. Again we said our goodbyes.

    Now I have found out I’ll be heading back to Asia in February – I’m over the moon but I can’t gauge if or when to bring up the topic of what we are. I know he is busy but he’ll go up to a week without messaging me then apologise and say the sweetest things. I have no inclination that he is seeing someone else seriously but potentially has been on a few dates as have I.

    But I’m in real deep and don’t want to get hurt. Do I bring up with him the situation or wait until I’m back in Asia to ask where we stand?

    #487526

    Maria

    My feb said that im his boo and he loves me but he needs to get his life together. A week before that he told me his ex wife was trying to get back with him. Now he is acting really distant. Wont answer my texts or calls but will still contact me occasionally saying good.morning beautiful, ect. Should I cut contact and just move forward till he figures his stuff out or what. I dont understand what is going on or what to do….. Help please

    #487527

    Brittany love

    Hi guys,
    Me and my son’s father have been separate for two years. Long story short since March of this year he has been telling me he want to work it. So we have been working on it only to fobd out that he has a girlfriend that lives with him as been cheating on her up until now. One minute he is hot telling me he wants his family back and loves me. Then turns around and act cold and tells me he has a girlfriend but still cheats on her with other girls.But when he gets around me he cant control his self and wants hugs and kisses to the point i have to push him away. I dont know to beleive. Should i just move on with my life or try to work it out for our son?

    #487528

    Angela

    When and how do we find your reply to the questions we sent in?

    #487529

    Maria

    Hi
    So I been seeing a man for like six months now. I really like him a lot he’s introduced me to his family and some friends. I really want to make us official but he said he’s not ready just yet. He tells me there’s no rush if it happens it will! It’s ashame cause we’re so good together u would think we were perfect for each other. What can I do ?

    #487530

    Nicki

    I was seeing someone for about a year and a half when he suddenly broke it off out of nowhere. We never had a first fight. He said he fell out of love with me 9 months before the break up (which would have been less than 2 months after he said I love you). He admitted he saw himself marrying me, wanting to have kids with me, etc. I heard from other people he broke it off because I talked about heartache from a previous ex a lot in the beginning. I’m not exactly sure why we broke up because none of those reasons feel like the truth. All I know is 7 months have went by and he is maintaining no contact with me. I still love him and want him back more than anything. Is there anything I can do? OR is it at the point that it’s safe to say he isn’t coming back? I don’t know why I can’t let go of these feelings for him but I’m completely miserable without him.

    #487531

    Maria

    My fwb said that im his boo and he loves me but he needs to get his life together. A week before that he told me his ex wife was trying to get back with him. Now he is acting really distant. Wont answer my texts or calls but will still contact me occasionally saying good.morning beautiful, ect. Should I cut contact and just move forward till he figures his stuff out or what. I dont understand what is going on or what to do….. Help please

    #487532

    Elizabeth

    Hey Are you or Sabrina going to answer all of these posts?

    #487533

    Michele

    Recently widowed after 30 years of marriage. I am finding that dating is very different. I just realized that all I want is a fwb. How do I get him to set up ground rules instead of when it is good for him?

    #487534

    Eric Charles
    Keymaster

    Kristie Turner – I never claim to be a mind reader, so bear in mind that this is just my opinion… I’ve seen that men who have gone through a lot of relationships (or have had a divorce) are more reserved with their behavior in relationships. It doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you, it just means that they’ve loved and lost and they realize that a good relationship is just a relationship that works on a day to day basis… no drama, nobody’s upset and you’re there for each other. It’s hard to get into “I love you’s” when they remember how their vocal affection turned out last time… That’s not to say that he never will say it, and introducing you to his family is certainly a strong statement that you’re in his world. If you’re enjoying the relationship, I would say roll with it and measure it based on the quality of your time together versus what kind of affection he voices. Some guys show love differently (check out Dr. Gary’s Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages for a quick read on different ways men show their love)

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