December 13, 2015 at 8:54 pm #487479
Best friend won’t ask to hang out
I have a best guy friend (for 3+ years) that I adore and have been wanting a relationship with. I lived in a different country for a year and came back 3 months ago. When I came back for a visit half way through my trip, I asked if he was interested in dating me, in which he said ‘I don’t know’ bc he was enjoying being single for the first time in 5 years. My friend is finally single and I have been so excited to see him and spend time with him, so I kept initiating hang out nights, but I’ve only been able to see him about 4 times since I came back. Since I realized he never initiated hanging out, I decided to draw back and give him space to initiate hanging out, and he hasn’t asked me to hang out in a month. WHATS GOING ON?! He texts me every day without fail! We have never slept together but made out twice…. right now I am trying to not worry about him and start dating other guys but I honestly cannot forget about my friend. What do I do?!December 13, 2015 at 8:54 pm #487480
is he serious about me. he works 6 days a week an hr away and he has only asked me on one date. he text me first all the time and flirts with meDecember 13, 2015 at 8:54 pm #487481
I’ve been friends with this man for 5.5 years. Even though we’re not together in a relationship, we act like it most of the times we’re together. I’ve gotten to the point now, though, that what I want is to either be together or just be friends and ONLY friends. The last time we talked about it he said that he does like me but he’s not interested in a relationship right now (should also mention he’s in the military stationed in another state). Okay, fair. But every single time I try and move or change the relationship into something more platonic, he becomes upset. I kind of feel like he wants to have his cake and eat it too (and I’ve allowed it for a while) but I no longer want that anymore. I feel like he takes me for granted now, like he knows I’ll be there for him no matter what he says or does. How do I change this relationship into something where we will just be friends and not give in to him when he pushes the right buttons or says what I want to hear? Or is there anything I can do to get us to be an official couple, especially since we act like one already? I’m so frustrated by this cycle and would greatly appreciate any advice y’all may have. Thank you.December 13, 2015 at 8:55 pm #487482
I have a guy friend and last year we were a “thing” and then it slowly went away during the summer and he now has a gf who is a freshman and the other day i was working in concessions with him because nobody else could so it was us two, and he was flirting with me a lot when were in there and he was holding me like i was his gf, even though im not, and i tried talking to him about it and he says he was just being “nice” to me. I’m unsure what to doDecember 13, 2015 at 8:55 pm #487483
Hello & thx 4 this forum
Rekindled with father of my son. After yrs of women he wanted us 2 b 2gether thought he was ready 2 commit. Moved n March 2015. We did ave sex but i was reluctant/not married. I choose Christ & he has needs. Said 2 much pressure my being there w/his needs yet when i’ve tried 2 leave he doesnt want me 2 go. He ask me 2 leave last week cause i wouldnt have sex. A deep thinking male who doesnt communicate, throws tantrum by using silent treatment. Dont know why i love him but willing 2 walk away. Ive treated him with respect, im considerate & giving but it seems 2 b a problem. I think he resents me sometomes cause im an independent. solution oriented go getter. Im a giver hes a taker. Wants my help but rejects me when i try to give it. His way or no way. I can encourage his low self esteem positively yet he fights it. I stay active & he doesnt want 2 do much of anything but work. He says its about feelings w/no actions or words just critisism. What he thinks & doesnt share w/me. Signed confusedDecember 13, 2015 at 8:55 pm #487484
Hello & thx 4 this forum
Rekindled with father of my son. After yrs of women he wanted us 2 b 2gether thought he was ready 2 commit. Moved n March 2015. We did ave sex but i was reluctant/not married. I choose Christ & he has needs. Said 2 much pressure my being there w/his needs yet when i’ve tried 2 leave he doesnt want me 2 go. He ask me 2 leave last week cause i wouldnt have sex. A deep thinking male who doesnt communicate, throws tantrum by using silent treatment. Dont know why i love him but willing 2 walk away. Ive treated him with respect, im considerate & giving but it seems 2 b a problem. I think he resents me sometomes cause im an independent. solution oriented go getter. Im a giver hes a taker. Wants my help but rejects me when i try to give it. His way or no way. I can encourage his low self esteem positively yet he fights it. I stay active & he doesnt want 2 do much of anything but work. He says its about feelings w/no actions or words just critisism. What he thinks & doesnt share w/me. Signed confusedDecember 13, 2015 at 8:56 pm #487485
There is this man that has always been there by my side, yet he is always a complete jerk to me and to everyone else and keeps himself locked behind a door. I have these large feelings for him, but I don’t know how to show him and make him feel the same way. How can I do this?December 13, 2015 at 8:56 pm #487487
The guy I’m seeing says he loves me and he ain’t leaving me, but he keeps disappearing and whenever he has vacation days he don’t communicate with me and disappears for days at a time. What can I do?December 13, 2015 at 8:57 pm #487488
ANne Marie – People aren’t good with relationship boundaries unless crossing a line would be a dealbreaker for the other person (and even then, who knows). People are going to do what they’re going to do, so I think what he “wants” from you/with you is to have your participation in whatever he’s doing at the moment… lots of people are just bored and lonely, but don’t actually want to change themselves or their lifestyle to have a relationship with a particular person (especially if that other person puts up with how they’re acting anyway).December 13, 2015 at 8:58 pm #487489
what are the signs he’s being unfaithful?December 13, 2015 at 8:58 pm #487491
Hi, Sabrina & Eric.
First of all I want to thank you guys for your articles, I always read it and they have been really helpful in my life.
My question is, I have been with my boyfriend in a not-so LDR (we live 3 hours away) for 1 year and 3 months now. Last October I met a nice guy who asked me out on “a date”, well, he wants to invite me a cup of coffee, he did this when my boyfriend and I were having problems so I agreed but now my relationship is good and I don’t know if cancel this date, if going, and if I go, should I tell my boyfriend? Help!December 13, 2015 at 8:58 pm #487492
I have been dating a guy that is separated but not divorced and he tells me it will be done after the holidays (wanted the kids to have one more normal x-mas). He seems to keep pushing it out but how do I know if he really is going to get divorced. His soon to be x lives in a different state and with one boy. He lives with a boy too so she came here for thanksgiving etc. The worst part is his kids don’t know they are getting divorced so I have been the secret girl friend. He wanted us to be exclusive in September. I have been exclusive but I wonder if I am wasting my time. He does have a tendency to discuss things we should do etc our future together etc but yet he can’t seem to get the divorce done. I feel like I am always uncertain of the situation especially when we are apart- but then when we are together I feel better again. My x cheated on me and I think some of my insecurities is still from that (divorce was final oct 2014). I have probably gone on dates with over 100 guys over the last year but this is the guy I always liked even when I tried dating other people before we were exclusive. I have known him since my divorce and he was my first date after divorce was final. I am worried I am wasting my time on someone that will never be available. BTW he also dated a lot and some how we found ourselves back together after dating others. I think we are both in love- I think I see it in his eyes. Or is he playing me? What should I do, continue to wait or ?December 13, 2015 at 8:58 pm #487493
Hi, Sabrina & Eric.
First of all I want to thank you guys for your articles, I always read it and they have been really helpful in my life.
My question is, I have been with my boyfriend in a not-so LDR (we live 3 hours away) for 1 year and 3 months now. Last October I met a nice guy who asked me out on “a date”, well, he wants to invite me a cup of coffee, he did this when my boyfriend and I were having problems so I agreed but now my relationship is good and I don’t know if cancel this date, if going, and if I go, should I tell my boyfriend? Help!December 13, 2015 at 8:58 pm #487494
My ex is trying to come back into my life, and I do not want a hook up, FWB, or anything casual. I’ve asked him for a promise ring to signify that we’re building (in our case, re-building) the relationship. In your opinion, what are the details that we should discuss?
Thanks!December 13, 2015 at 8:59 pm #487495
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now and everything of course was wonderful in the beginning he was love struck I mean he acted as though he couldn’t breathe without me!! Well we both were head over heels for one another! Not sure if this makes a difference but I am 10 years older than him and I am 30 so yes he is very young, but our age has never ever been an issue for us! When we got together however I was only about 8 months out of a marriage of 10 years in which ended badly! So anyway our relationship stood the test of everything we had to go through and I want get into details but we have went through some major life changing events together and have always managed to stand by one another! He talked a lot of wanting to marry me up until about 9 months ago when I was pregnant with the first child together! So we delivered our son in July not to mention he had finally got a good job I thought everything was great! Until about September, he started becoming so distant hateful everything I done was wrong so us with a newborn baby of course I kept giving more and more and he kept pullin away further and further! So by October he left me saying he just wasn’t happy and he was depressed blamed it on new baby! Only to find out the next day he was sleeping with a coworker who I will admit was a pretty girl nothing Speacil but he seemed very crazy over her like he once was me! I had a gut feeling it was someone else! So anyway over the month of November I educated my self on men and made all the classic mistakes of trying to get an ex back out of desperation! But, just as I started to stop contact and act as though I could and would move on he texts me in the middle of the night asking to work things out, and after asking myself if he was really what i wanted I decided to give us a Chance! We decided to treat it as a fresh start and things have been amazing he has been so sweet loving compassionate and I do believe by his actions that he isnt no longer seeing anyone else so idk of he just had to make sure that there wasn’t something else out there he wanted more before committing to me completely or if maybe new baby new job having a family scared him into wanting to have all his freedom he did before us??? But, either way things are great but my question to you all is how do I get him to finally pop the question without It being my idea or him feeling forced or pressured?? And how long should I wait since we have been together almost 3 years, but have started over as well??? Please any advice would be so appreciated thank you both so muchDecember 13, 2015 at 8:59 pm #487496
Is there a nice way to tell a guy he’s being a dick?
I was friends with a guy for two years and recently after my relationship we started having a friends with benefits kind of deal, but I was only looking for sex and treated it as such (even though it never got to that point). Considering how we both said we didn’t want relationships I thought it was a good deal but one night when I called him to come over after a few drinks at the bar, he said he didn’t want to because of his principles and I asked him why lead me on if sex wasn’t going to happen to which he didn’t answer. Essentially in the conversation he asked me if i liked him and i said I like someone else and after that it was just us ignoring each other. I didn’t realize i actually liked him emotionally until it was too late. So now his friends all talk to me hang out with me and bring him up while I play it cool, even though he still ignores my texts most of the time. Question is, is he still into me and how would I rekindle the relation with him from this point on? Thank you!December 13, 2015 at 9:00 pm #487497
I just want to know why this guy over almost 2 years has come in and out of my life. He’s had other girlfriends but still randomly texts. He has said he’s lost and he is definitely not the guy I first met. How much longer do I put up with this. I love him but I deserve better than his confusion.December 13, 2015 at 9:00 pm #487498
If you’re waiting to be asked out on a second date, at how many days since the first date have you become an option if he hasn’t asked you out again (despite his high level of enthusiasm and attraction on the first date)?
Fyi- he sent a message the next day thankful ng me and asking about my day, but didn’t ask me out again. It’s finals time right now and he teaches if that helps.December 13, 2015 at 9:00 pm #487499
This is a little heavy. Several years ago I was assaulted. Since then I’ve gone through therapy and the guy in question was held responsible and I’ve moved on from it emotionally and I’m in a really good place right now. I haven’t really dated during this time (I wanted to focus on getting better on my own) and I’m kind of nervous at what a guy might think of that or how I should approach dating now? I’m in a pretty good place and I’d like to start dating, but I’m pretty nervous about what a guy might think of it. Any thoughts?December 13, 2015 at 9:00 pm #487500
I have been seeing someone for almost a year. Things were wonderful in the beginning and we really connected. About three months ago he found out he was not getting a dream job that he was hoping for. A job that was going to change our lives and move together. He is already successful and had a great career although he feels unfulfilled. Since then I have noticed him withdrawing. We still talk every day and see each other weekly. But he is no longer saying I love you first. He is. It saying the things he used to to me. He said it’s not me its him. He will say I love you back to me when I say it to him. He says he wants to spend his life with me. This behavior is confusing me. Is he depressed? How do I get through this because I feel lonely and confused. I really love this man.December 13, 2015 at 9:01 pm #487501
Hi! I am in an LDR with a man I met on eHarmony in September. We talked and texted for 6 weeks before meeting in real life. We had great chemistry and hit it off, and we ended up sleeping together. He was still himself after we went back to our homes. Not two days later, I had a misunderstanding with him which cause unnecssary tension and while I was trying to control the situation, may have inadvertently suffocated him. He started distancing himself but still texted a couple times a week and made sure to call. I did apologize but I am not sure whether that has changed things for us as we never got back to the talking and texting we did before the misunderstanding. However, he still calls me once a week and he texts on occasion. he says he is just busier now but he did make plans to see me for christmas.
I would just like to get to recapture some of that spak we had before the misunderstanding and have him text me more keep more connected.He calls but I don’t get those wonderful good morning messages I used to. I imagine he is still interested in me if he is meeting me over Christmas but something just feels like it is missing….I don’t want to make things anymore awkward than they were. How can I get him to unconsciously connect with me more?December 13, 2015 at 9:01 pm #487503
I am in a relationship for the past 4 years. We have been dating on and off since then. Recently he broke up with me but I still convinced him for a chance at the relationship. He is talking to me but he is very formal in the conversation. He was showering me with lots of love just before the break up. So right now I am lost as to how to get things back on trackDecember 13, 2015 at 9:02 pm #487504
I am currently in a relationship for almost a year now and on our date night at the movies my boyfriend was on his phone as I glanced over I noticed pictures of other girls that he claimed was from the Internet. Mind you the pictures were provocative. Should I be concerned? Or let it go because I think in this situation boys will be boys. Please help me with an advice I would greatly appreciate it.
Kimberly A.December 13, 2015 at 9:02 pm #487505
Currently dating someone for the last 3 months. See eachother once a week. He basically has told me he’s deathly afraid of commitment (past issues) but truly enjoys my company and had me to his family’s Thanksgiving. We care about eachother a lot, have known eachother for a few years. Do I just enjoy the ride and see if things change or do I just kick him to the curb and move on?December 13, 2015 at 9:03 pm #487507
I’ve been a been a fan and I wanted to ask when you mentioned that when a women becomes too invested into a relationship, she should lay back. This might sound silly, what and how do you mean by this? And how would she know that she is establishing a better connection with her guy rather then just scratching the surface of things that he would give to anyone else? Like if he is or has been telling both his girl and other people about his dreams and goals, how can you know if he is telling you something more meaningful then what he has already told other people? Thank you again for all your advice!
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