Ask Me Anything – Sunday, December 13th @ 8 PM ET

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This topic contains 363 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Eric Charles 5 years, 11 months ago.

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    Is it strange to take a break before getting married? I’ve been with the same person for 12 years, we got engaged a while back, and although I know he’s the one, I can’t kick this feeling of wanting to go “find myself” and live life before settling down. I feel I missed out on what all of my other friends have already experienced. He says he’s ok with it and will wait for me but I’m not sure that’s fair to him.



    Thanks for the daily email, checking your email everyday had became a routine for me and i enjoyed doing that. :)
    Met my boyfriend from tinder four months ago and we get on really well. I only found out that he only broke up with his 3 years ex-girlfriend 10 months ago, and he said that he is really heart broke and sad while then but he said he moved on and knowing that he’s not in love with her anymore. But he is still care about her… Which is I find that unacceptable, but i had decided to be understanding and trusting him. until i found out they still chat to each other and in a quiet flirty way and she even phone him and had the conversation nearly an hour. I don’t know how to deal with this. Help



    I have been seeing my current friend for over 4 months. We are in a sexual relationship. We talk and text over 20 times a day. I feel like I was too available and pulled away. I felt like a FWB and asked what I was to him. He said we were more than friends, less than lovers…..we have grown apart due to his travels for his job. I know he cares, but unsure if I should walk away or just wait until his job settled down and he is not traveling so much.


    lisa Nik

    I 1st started seeing a guy in Feb this year but because I was still involved with someone else emotionally I cut it off with the new guy but the new guy & I stayed in contact until I decided I wanted to try again with him in Oct and we went on dates,he has cooked for me,& he texts me & calls me and me as well. However It appears sometimes we have had communication issues & fights about who intiates seeing each other etc but other then that we do good when we are in other presence we get along great and just are completely comfortable. We started having a sexual relationship 2 months into dating again but we know a lot about each other family past etc. Now we have discussed being friends 1st & we both stated we want to build together but quick ?

    I notice he is still looking on the dating site we met on & I do to as well but want to know why is he still on the site if he claimed that he loves me & really want us to be together & he tells me he is not going anywhere? He treats me great & has introduced me to his son as his girlfriend but we are not official yet. How long should I wait for him to commit?


    Toni Rose Dador

    My ex left me for 1 month and he came back asked me if we can be together again and I said yes. He said he loves me and he really mean it. We were okay for 2 weeks and then when I have a chance to tell what I feel for our relationship I said I missed the way he used to be before. I said that because he will not text me if I will not text him fist. There’s a day that he really not text me. I felt that I am his priority before unlike now then he said there are other responsibilities as well. And thats our last conversation and we didnt talk to each other other again for 1 week now. He is from pakistan and Im from the Philippines. We didnt see each other yet. And he is a businessman.



    I have a dilemma. I’m halfway through my divorce (will be legally divorced in July; no children & i didn’t break up sooner because his mom was battling cancer. Our relationship was physically and emotionally over 2 years ago)

    Im only 30. There’s a guy at work. He and I have been flirting like crazy for 3 months ( his methods: intense eye contact, staring, flirting/laughing, hovering, proximity and making sure i have a buddy in staff meetings) The problem is he is extremely shy , sighs at the end of our conversations like he is waiting for me like he is wanting me to leap. Im conflicted because we get along so well and i want to date him. But im worried about his views on rebounding and my divorce. I need to do something because some days the attraction is so intense i cant concentrate. What should I do?



    I’ve been seeing someone for a year yesterday. Over the course of that year, he asked me to move in with him, to grow old with him, put a ring on my finger, taught his grandchildren to call me grandma, and many other things. About 4 weeks ago he told me that he needed space (and we know what that means) and today I learned that he is seeing someone else. He asked me to give him some “time to be me,” and to wait for him to come back to me. I know I need to move on, but I don’t know how…
    Thanks for your advice – love your daily emails.



    I’m 25 years old and have never been in a relationship. My friends and family members are all in relationships and I’m constantly reminded that I am not. My friends always talk about guys chasing them or their many boyfriends, even guys they’ve had a fling or shorter with always coming back and I’ve never experienced this. Any guy I’ve ever been involved with has never resurfaced. Guys I’ve known for years, deeply, and intimately never even resurface to say hey how are you. I feel like I’m not memorable or anything to these men. Im not even a priority when they’re bored. I never contact them after they disappear no matter how long I’ve known then but Is there something wrong with me that
    makes guys stay away from me permenantly or is it just the nature of the guys. I always the single one.


    Debra Gwy

    Dated single 54 year old guys, 6 wks NO SEX. Date 1 and 2 we exchanged question about what we were looking for in a relation ship. Date 3 talked sex. I asked him to wear a condom, he expressed he had it since college but out of respect for me he would have him self-tested. Date for come he greets me in the restaurant hello sexy lady walks up to me kisses me. This is the man who shows no affection publicly until he’s ready for a relationship. Day 5 comes he’s telling me he’s going away in two weeks Wyoming hunting with friends no problem enjoy yourself this is why you took you leave of absence. He returns two weeks later tells me something’s missing can’t quite put his finger on it. 55 minutes into the conversation was still at an open ending. He explained in the next 6 weeks I can’t fit you in my schedule for Thanksgiving to New Years it wouldn’t be fair for you. I express to him I know what the problem is you’re afraid of falling in love because you want to move back to Pittsburgh and if you fall in love with me you feel you won’t be able to leave New England. He answered painfully yes I’m afraid what do i do Eric I’m lost the man admits he’s afraid of falling in love 54 year old bachelor red flags I should have known from the beginning



    Me and this guy been talking for a couple of month he says he not ready for a relationship and he’s mean sometimes but always get jealous when other men show iinterest in me! Does he like me?


    Sarah lynch

    I am engaged to a man I love who I thought was a social drinker. He recently admitted he’s an alcoholic and been through AA before. He’s very loving for the most part.. Recently he seems to be a little hot and cold with me. He tells me he loves me all the time.. But it’s hard to communicate sometimes. I don’t know what to do. We have been together 2 years and got engaged this past February.



    How do you know if a guy is really interested in you or just want a hookup?



    How do you know if a guy is really interested in you or just want a hookup?



    How do you know if a guy is really interested in you or just want a hookup?



    Hi, this is so great that you are doing this,thank you! My question is my ex and I had been together for almost three years. He had cheated on me over the summer and I was devastated. We tried to work on things but about two months ago he broke up with me. He said he messed this whole relationship up and I do not trust him and he can’t live with me always suspicious. So currently we are not together. We have talked about getting back together in the future but he says right now its to soon,I still have trust issues and he is wanting to get his finances back in order. So we hang out etc.but it really is like friends. I hate it. My question is should I just completely shut him out for good? Its killing me being “friends” but I don’t want to lose the opportunity to get back together either.



    Weird relationship ever

    I loved this man for a year and according to him he loves me as well. But the whole time he has not trusted me. Even living with him he’s accused me of having someone at his home while he was on business trips. He has threatened to with hold trips from me, because of his assumptions, and accusations. I have never, ever, cheated on him but he swears I did. I haven’t done anything to give him the impression that I am. He says it’s in my actions. The odd thing is, we don’t see each other that often because it become to hurtful to hear and think I something I’m not. I even become a hermit. Now I’m thinking that it’s “the accuser that is the doer.” How much truth is the in that quote. Is my question and concern.
    I do nurture him as you say in chapter 5. I’m trying so so hard to work this out.
    There is one more thing that is so so weird. When I spend an evening with him and I take an overnight bag and clothes to his home and an argument or disagreement happens, he will kick me out or I’ll leave so it doesn’t escalate. He will not give my things back to me. I feel he holds my stuff to keep me in his life. I don’t know what to anymore. HELP




    I’m 25 years old and have never been in a relationship. My friends always talk about guys chasing them or their many boyfriends and exes even guys they’ve had a fling or shorter with always coming back and I’ve never experienced this. Any guy I’ve ever been involved with has never resurfaced. Guys I’ve known for years, deeply, and intimately never even resurface to say hey how are you. I feel like I’m not memorable or anything to these men. I never contact them after they disappear no matter how long I’ve known them but Is there something wrong with me that
    makes guys never want to be with me and stay away from me permenantly. Im always the single one.



    I have been struggling lately to find the motivation to start eating right and work out. I want to do this but it seems whenever there is temptation of unhealthy foods or whatever it is around me, I give in. I want to get in shape and eat right because I want feel more confident. I really just need advice on how not to give in to these temptations and find the motivation to workout. Thanks!



    I had the relationship talk with a guy I was dating. He didn’t say it wasn’t a relationship to him and at one point he said he thought this was a relationship but then he said it was all up to me, that I can put whatever label I want. Overall, he didn’t make it clear whether he wants to be in a relationship. I send him a follow-up text saying that I want a relationship with him. He never got back to me. What happened? Is he going to contact me again?



    My marriage is on its way out sadly. In the meantime, I have got close to a male friend – he’s been a good friend for 2 years. He frequently shows interest and even loves my daughter. But I have noticed a pattern: he says or does something very, very, sweet and then the next day, pulls away for a bit. Then after 2,3 days it’s like he can’t help it and is really, really sweet again. My question is this: he doesn’t really know the extent of what goes on in my marriage so is it a possibility that he has feelings for me but is acting strange due to my marital status? Thanks in advance.



    I have currently been in a situationship(dating but not committed into a relationship) and I decided to leave after a year and half bc his actions were not matching up with his words. His actions were showing me he wanted to be more serious, but his words were still telling he just wanted to be friends. He would get attached and then he would suddenly dettach from me(I have notice he has very bad mood swings) and this would coincide when he dettaches from me. We trust each other and we both feel we can talk to each other about everything..I even met his mom…talked about the future…we both have children, but never met each other children..we have had a couple of arguments recently about moving to the next step..but like I said his actions tells me he wants to..but his mouth keep saying something different. We have tried to walk away from each other numerous times..but all roads lead back to us….please help any suggestions..should I just walk entirely away..or should I just give it time…need advice?????



    Hello & thx 4 this forum
    Rekindled with father of my son. After yrs of women he wanted us 2 b 2gether thought he was ready 2 commit. Moved n March 2015. We did ave sex but i was reluctant/not married. I choose Christ & he has needs. Said 2 much pressure my being there w/his needs yet when i’ve tried 2 leave he doesnt want me 2 go. He ask me 2 leave last week cause i wouldnt have sex. A deep thinking male who doesnt communicate, throws tantrum by using silent treatment. Dont know why i love him but willing 2 walk away. Ive treated him with respect, im considerate & giving but it seems 2 b a problem. I think he resents me sometomes cause im an independent. solution oriented go getter. Im a giver hes a taker. Wants my help but rejects me when i try to give it. His way or no way. I can encourage his low self esteem positively yet he fights it. I stay active & he doesnt want 2 do much of anything but work. He says its about feelings w/no actions or words just critisism. What he thinks & doesnt share. Signed confused



    Hello. I’m 26 year old virgin (mostly by choice :-) I kinda want to get out on the dating scene and get to know different people. But I can be very, very shy. I am pretty and am in okay shape (going to gym). I’m nervous about talking to guys I like. It seems only the guys with no chance bother hitting on me.
    I need blunt advice on how to get out there and get over my extreme shyness around cute guys. And I am also a bit tired of being a virgin ;-)




    So, I really like my best friend, we’ll call him Bob. One of our friends told me that Bob has a crush on me. I really want to go out with Bob, but I don’t wanna be the one to make the first move, is there any way to get him to ask me out?


    Maria Sun

    I have depression and every time I go through a break up I fall into an episode. There are other reasons I fall into episodes but this a relationship forum so obviously I’m only addressing my past relationships. Because of depression I already have difficulty with letting people in especially during an episode when I really want someone to be there for me but at the same time I sometimes can’t help to want to push them away because of my lack self worth. It’s definitely something I’m working on. So when I go into a relationship I tend to put up this perfect girlfriend front aka the best best version of myself. I do this to protect myself from rejection and so a guy can fall for me for the best parts of me. Then about 6 months in I slowly let a guy into my life with depression. Instead of hiding when I’m upset, crying, stuck in depressed thoughts, I let them see parts of it while hoping they can be another support in addition to my family and friends. Then the relationship becomes different. The guy is more focused on his life and work which I’m usually ok with because I know guys get when they focused on these things and eventually we break up because things get complicated. I guess I’m just wondering if my approach with my mental illness needs some adjustments. Also, if you have any tips for me and other people out there with mental illnesses who want a genuine long lasting relationship.

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