Ask Me Anything – Sunday, December 13th @ 8 PM ET

Is it strange to take a break before getting married? I’ve been with the same person for 12 years, we got engaged a while back, and although I know he’s the one, I can’t kick this feeling of wanting to go “find myself” and live life before settling down. I feel I missed out on what all of my other friends have already experienced. He says he’s ok with it and will wait for me but I’m not sure that’s fair to him.

I have been seeing my current friend for over 4 months. We are in a sexual relationship. We talk and text over 20 times a day. I feel like I was too available and pulled away. I felt like a FWB and asked what I was to him. He said we were more than friends, less than lovers…..we have grown apart due to his travels for his job. I know he cares, but unsure if I should walk away or just wait until his job settled down and he is not traveling so much.

My ex left me for 1 month and he came back asked me if we can be together again and I said yes. He said he loves me and he really mean it. We were okay for 2 weeks and then when I have a chance to tell what I feel for our relationship I said I missed the way he used to be before. I said that because he will not text me if I will not text him fist. There’s a day that he really not text me. I felt that I am his priority before unlike now then he said there are other responsibilities as well. And thats our last conversation and we didnt talk to each other other again for 1 week now. He is from pakistan and Im from the Philippines. We didnt see each other yet. And he is a businessman.

I’ve been seeing someone for a year yesterday. Over the course of that year, he asked me to move in with him, to grow old with him, put a ring on my finger, taught his grandchildren to call me grandma, and many other things. About 4 weeks ago he told me that he needed space (and we know what that means) and today I learned that he is seeing someone else. He asked me to give him some “time to be me,” and to wait for him to come back to me. I know I need to move on, but I don’t know how…
Thanks for your advice – love your daily emails.

Dated single 54 year old guys, 6 wks NO SEX. Date 1 and 2 we exchanged question about what we were looking for in a relation ship. Date 3 talked sex. I asked him to wear a condom, he expressed he had it since college but out of respect for me he would have him self-tested. Date for come he greets me in the restaurant hello sexy lady walks up to me kisses me. This is the man who shows no affection publicly until he’s ready for a relationship. Day 5 comes he’s telling me he’s going away in two weeks Wyoming hunting with friends no problem enjoy yourself this is why you took you leave of absence. He returns two weeks later tells me something’s missing can’t quite put his finger on it. 55 minutes into the conversation was still at an open ending. He explained in the next 6 weeks I can’t fit you in my schedule for Thanksgiving to New Years it wouldn’t be fair for you. I express to him I know what the problem is you’re afraid of falling in love because you want to move back to Pittsburgh and if you fall in love with me you feel you won’t be able to leave New England. He answered painfully yes I’m afraid what do i do Eric I’m lost the man admits he’s afraid of falling in love 54 year old bachelor red flags I should have known from the beginning

I am engaged to a man I love who I thought was a social drinker. He recently admitted he’s an alcoholic and been through AA before. He’s very loving for the most part.. Recently he seems to be a little hot and cold with me. He tells me he loves me all the time.. But it’s hard to communicate sometimes. I don’t know what to do. We have been together 2 years and got engaged this past February.

How do you know if a guy is really interested in you or just want a hookup?

Hi, this is so great that you are doing this,thank you! My question is my ex and I had been together for almost three years. He had cheated on me over the summer and I was devastated. We tried to work on things but about two months ago he broke up with me. He said he messed this whole relationship up and I do not trust him and he can’t live with me always suspicious. So currently we are not together. We have talked about getting back together in the future but he says right now its to soon,I still have trust issues and he is wanting to get his finances back in order. So we hang out etc.but it really is like friends. I hate it. My question is should I just completely shut him out for good? Its killing me being “friends” but I don’t want to lose the opportunity to get back together either.

I’m 25 years old and have never been in a relationship. My friends always talk about guys chasing them or their many boyfriends and exes even guys they’ve had a fling or shorter with always coming back and I’ve never experienced this. Any guy I’ve ever been involved with has never resurfaced. Guys I’ve known for years, deeply, and intimately never even resurface to say hey how are you. I feel like I’m not memorable or anything to these men. I never contact them after they disappear no matter how long I’ve known them but Is there something wrong with me that
makes guys never want to be with me and stay away from me permenantly. Im always the single one.

I had the relationship talk with a guy I was dating. He didn’t say it wasn’t a relationship to him and at one point he said he thought this was a relationship but then he said it was all up to me, that I can put whatever label I want. Overall, he didn’t make it clear whether he wants to be in a relationship. I send him a follow-up text saying that I want a relationship with him. He never got back to me. What happened? Is he going to contact me again?

I have currently been in a situationship(dating but not committed into a relationship) and I decided to leave after a year and half bc his actions were not matching up with his words. His actions were showing me he wanted to be more serious, but his words were still telling he just wanted to be friends. He would get attached and then he would suddenly dettach from me(I have notice he has very bad mood swings) and this would coincide when he dettaches from me. We trust each other and we both feel we can talk to each other about everything..I even met his mom…talked about the future…we both have children, but never met each other children..we have had a couple of arguments recently about moving to the next step..but like I said his actions tells me he wants to..but his mouth keep saying something different. We have tried to walk away from each other numerous times..but all roads lead back to us….please help any suggestions..should I just walk entirely away..or should I just give it time…need advice?????

Hello. I’m 26 year old virgin (mostly by choice :-) I kinda want to get out on the dating scene and get to know different people. But I can be very, very shy. I am pretty and am in okay shape (going to gym). I’m nervous about talking to guys I like. It seems only the guys with no chance bother hitting on me.
I need blunt advice on how to get out there and get over my extreme shyness around cute guys. And I am also a bit tired of being a virgin ;-)

Thanks.

I have depression and every time I go through a break up I fall into an episode. There are other reasons I fall into episodes but this a relationship forum so obviously I’m only addressing my past relationships. Because of depression I already have difficulty with letting people in especially during an episode when I really want someone to be there for me but at the same time I sometimes can’t help to want to push them away because of my lack self worth. It’s definitely something I’m working on. So when I go into a relationship I tend to put up this perfect girlfriend front aka the best best version of myself. I do this to protect myself from rejection and so a guy can fall for me for the best parts of me. Then about 6 months in I slowly let a guy into my life with depression. Instead of hiding when I’m upset, crying, stuck in depressed thoughts, I let them see parts of it while hoping they can be another support in addition to my family and friends. Then the relationship becomes different. The guy is more focused on his life and work which I’m usually ok with because I know guys get when they focused on these things and eventually we break up because things get complicated. I guess I’m just wondering if my approach with my mental illness needs some adjustments. Also, if you have any tips for me and other people out there with mental illnesses who want a genuine long lasting relationship.