Exactly Why Men Withdraw from Relationships post image

Almost every woman has experienced the panic and uncertainty that occur when her man starts pulling away or withdrawing. Maybe it happens out of the blue, maybe something sparks it, either way, it’s a miserable feeling, one that leaves you feeling powerless and painfully insecure.

You question what happened, why he’s doing this, and what you may have done to cause this sudden shift. The most common questions we get involve some variation of a guy suddenly backing off and the girl going into a tizzy over it and trying to figure out what happened and what she did wrong.

What usually happens when a man starts to pull away is the woman starts spinning her wheels trying to figure out why and what she can do to get him back. She stresses over it and works herself up and this usually makes the problem worse, not better

But let’s dive a little deeper and take a closer look at the exact reasons why men withdraw (or pull away or take space), and what you can do when this happens so you don’t sabotage the relationship.

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Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close (And Exactly What To Do About It) post image

Why do men pull away after getting close?

Is it something I did? Something I said? Is he losing interest? Is he going to break up with me? What’s doing on?!

Any of those questions sound familiar? You’re not alone. I’ve asked them many a time and so have countless others!

The fact is, men pull away sometimes. It can happen early in a relationship, it can happen further down the line. And it isn’t necessarily a bad thing! Relationships have ebbs and flows, just like everything in life.

MORE: These Are The Best Ways To Stop Him From Withdrawing If He’s Pulling Away

Most men deal with things by retreating, that is just the nature of a man and something about men that completely baffles and frustrates women. The big mistake here is making is all about you when really, it’s about him. But we all do this!

Women tend to take way too much responsibility in a relationship and we blame ourselves whenever anything goes wrong. If a guy is pulling away, it must mean we did something to cause it. And then we become little detectives trying to piece together clues as to what we did to cause his sudden shift and we participate in this whole drama that is fully fictional and self-generated!

Rather than torturing ourselves, let’s take a close look at what’s really going on and how we can handle it the right way.

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When He Pulls Away, Give Him Space post image

Something with your guy feels off. You don’t want to admit it but you know it’s there. He’s pulling away and you don’t know what to do. You know that you should probably give him space, but you feel afraid that with a little bit of space, he will completely slip away and forget all about you.

It may feel like you need to close the gap, like you need to bring him closer. You think maybe if you’re more supportive, maybe if you do really sweet things for him, maybe if you dial back the neediness (and yes, this is definitely always a good idea!), maybe if you just show him how wonderful you are, then he’ll come back and everything will be great.

That’s not how it works. When a guy pulls away, give him space. That is all you can do … unless you want to push him further away until he vanishes completely.

MORE: This Is How To Stop Him From Withdrawing When He’s Pulling Away

I know it’s scary. I know you don’t want to. I know you just want to keep him as close as possible, but doing that will not get you the results you want. You want to bring him back. You want to get the relationship back on track. The only way to do that is to give him space when he pulls away. That is the only way you’ll get him back.

And I’m going to explain exactly why that is and how to give space the right way, so keep reading.

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Exactly What To Do If He’s Lost Interest In You post image

We’ve talked a lot on A New Mode about how to tell if a guy likes you and how to tell if he doesn’t. We’ve also fielded tons of questions from you about how to tell if he’s losing interest or has lost interest completely.

But what can you do if he seems to be losing interest? Can you regain it if it seems to be slipping? And can you get it back if it’s totally lost?

If you’ve been paying attention and can identify the signs your man is losing interest, it’s possible to salvage things and re-route from the negative direction you’re headed in. Maybe you need to make changes in the way you relate to him, or maybe you need to make changes in your approach to your own life. Most likely you need to do a little bit of both.

It may seem counterintuitive, but what you want to do is usually exactly what you shouldn’t do.

These six steps are actually things you should integrate into your life all the time. If you do them consistently, you’ll have happier, healthier, overall better relationships.

If a man you’ve been seeing seems to be losing interest, review this list to make sure you’re on the right track and adjust as needed.

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10 Giveaway Signs He Doesn’t Want to Be With You Anymore And Doesn’t Love You post image

I know it can be heartbreaking when you feel like the guy you’re with no longer loves you and doesn’t want to be with you anymore.

He hasn’t said this to you outright, but you know in your heart something’s off.

You might have even asked yourself, why doesn’t he just break up with me instead of lingering and dragging things out?

The truth is break-ups are hard, even if you are the one who wants to leave the relationship. Inevitably, feelings get hurt and he may genuinely not want to hurt you.

MORE: 11 Definite Signs He Doesn’t Like You 

Knowing for sure where the relationship stands will give you what you need to take the next best step.

Oftentimes when we want a particular outcome in our relationships, it’s easy to overlook the glaring red flags. Instead, we hold onto signs that indicate that the relationship is the way we want it to be, no matter how minor those signs are. I’ve fallen into this trap too often in my relationships until I was finally able to see that wanting a fantasy led to all the heartache I’d been facing.

Seeing things clearly, for what they are, prevents us from wasting time chasing fantasies and gives us the clarity to see the paths that will lead us to the love we want.

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Ask a Guy:  My Boyfriend is Stressed and Pulling Away… post image

My boyfriend has become withdrawn lately. He’s really stressed with not working, his dog dying, best friend’s dad having lung cancer, and everything just adding up.

He’s been pulling away for a couple weeks and has recently started going a day or two without texting me.

Should I stop texting him all together, or will that be showing that I don’t care and that I’m not supportive? I want him to know I’m here for him and that I’m not going anywhere, even though it’s tough. What should I do? 

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“Is He Losing Interest?” Quiz post image

You meet a guy, sparks ignite, you spend time together, you’re into him, he’s really into you, you can’t help but think of the amazing future that lies ahead….and then something shifts.

Suddenly he’s not as attentive, he doesn’t pursue you with the same level of enthusiasm, he doesn’t text in the middle of the day just to say he’s thinking about you, he doesn’t go above and beyond. He’s still there…but something seems to have changed.

Sometimes this doesn’t mean anything. The guy just got busy or wrapped up in other areas of his life and the girl gets herself into a panic over nothing. Other times, he is over the relationship, he just doesn’t quite know how to break it to you.

No matter what, that sense of panic and dread can cause a real hindrance to your life and happiness. It can also put an unnecessary dent in your relationship.

To help you find out what’s going on and where he stands, take this super easy, super quick quiz to find out if he’s losing interest….or if you’re just being paranoid and everything is fine.

The quiz will ask you 10 questions about your relationship. As long as you answer honestly, you will get startlingly (even shockingly) accurate results and will know for sure how he feels.

Ask a Guy: He Said He Loved Me, But Seems to Be Losing Interest post image

I have been dating this guy for roughly 8 months. Things started out amazing, getting to know each other turned into mutual interest and before long he asked me to be his girlfriend. He even dropped the ‘I Love You’ bomb on me, which was fine because the feeling was mutual. I never invested myself in a relationship 100% before him, but he managed to get me mentally, emotionally, and physically. With all that being said, I understand that a woman should not put too much out there or be too available in the beginning. I did that and lived by that in the past … Hell, I got him by doing that.

Lately, however, I’ve found myself living around him, being super available and maybe even a little needy. I’ve also noticed a change in the way he is around me. He seems to slowly be losing interest. He makes time for me, but I don’t feel like it’s enough and things just feel different.

My question: When you are in a relationship with someone, how do you ensure that he wont lose interest? He says he loves me and wants to have a future but sometimes I feel like his actions aren’t matching his words. Am I reading too much into this? What’s going on?
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