10 Things Confident People Do Differently in Dating and Relationships post image

Healthy self-esteem is a prerequisite for healthy relationships. From my personal experiences, and my years spent writing about relationships, I’ve learned that poor self-esteem is the number one cause of unhealthy relationships, as well as the top relationship killer.

Self-esteem isn’t an essential need like food or water, but it’s a supplement that can either dramatically improve your life, or keep you stunted and unfulfilled. The fact is, you can only let in as much love from the outside as you feel on the inside. If you don’t feel good about yourself, you will never truly believe that someone else can love you and you will constantly be on the lookout for the other shoe to drop, for the guy you care about to leave, thus validating the fact that you are unworthy of love.

Poor self-worth is what traps us in bad relationships, what sabotages new relationships, and what causes us to feel so devastated and broken when a relationship ends.

Self-esteem doesn’t come from blowing kisses to your reflection in the mirror or repeating “I love myself” over and over. It takes time and it takes work and it isn’t always easy. Everyone’s path will be different, but no matter what, having a picture of what high self-esteem looks like, and how it can play out in relationships, is helpful and can help reveal the areas you may need to work on.

Having high self-esteem doesn’t guarantee a happy relationship, but it does equip you with the skills to identify what you want and realize you deserve to get it, and the strength to walk away if something falls short. Here are ten things people with high self-esteem do differently in their relationships:

[Click here to keep reading…]

Get the Relationship You Want: 4 Rules to Live By post image

I know it may not seem this way, but relationships are actually surprisingly simple. And if you can master a few basic principles about relationships, and what it takes to have the right relationship, you will be better able to navigate through the confusion and heartbreak and will effortlessly get the relationship you’ve always wanted.

Whether you’re involved or single as can be, here are the top four rules to live by to get the relationship you want: [Click here to keep reading…]

Are You Addicted to Approval? post image

Are You Addicted to Approval?

There is an epidemic that is reaching an all-time high. It’s called AA (Approval Addiction), and luckily, you can overcome in it less than 12 steps.

In this day and age, if you cook a nice dinner you take a pic and post in on Instagram; if you have a cool sense of style, you start a personal style blog; if you do a good deed, you post about it on Facebook. There is very little that’s kept private and personal and as a result, the vast majority of us have become addicted to approval.

I’m not saying I’m immune. I will admit that if I write what I consider to be a great article and it gets a lackluster response (or worse, no response at all!), I feel a little bummed. And if an article I wrote gets an extremely positive response, I’m ecstatic.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling happy when something you did gets praised. The problem emerges when you rely too heavily on the approval of others and not enough on how you feel about yourself. [Click here to keep reading…]

5 Tips To Be a Better You This Year post image

A new year is upon us and with that, a time to turn over a new leaf and make some tweaks to ensure this year is better than the last.

New Year’s Resolutions are great and all, but they are usually superficial (lose weight, quit smoking, stop procrastinating, etc.) and don’t lead to lasting changes since it’s all over the first time you slip up. Getting what you really want out of life requires internal changes that in turn, change the way things work out in your life.

To help you get more happiness and satisfaction out of your life, I’ve rounded up five essential tips to help you be at your best.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Link Love post image

Link Love

Dating Don’ts: 10 Things You’re Probably Overreacting About
– The Frisky

How to Be More Confident: 6 Tips & Tricks From Celebs -Her Campus

6 Reasons Women Should Initiate in Online Dating– Your Tango

The Ultimate Post-Breakup Hotness Manual – Refinery29

9 Fashion Blunders You Never Want to Make – FabSugar

Happy Birthday A New Mode! Top Lessons on Life and Love post image

A New Mode is officially three years old. I honestly can’t believe how fast the time has gone, it seems like only yesterday that Eric and I were sending e-mail blasts about the site to every single person we knew (and begging them to send blasts to everyone they knew!) to spread the word, while refreshing Google Analytics every 30 seconds to see how many visitors hit the site. These days, our readership has happily expanded way beyond our friends and families and instead of being a side project, ANM has turned into our sole project.

My mission in starting the site was to help our readers become the best versions of themselves and in the process, I have undergone a profound transformation of my own. Along the way, I have learned so much about life, love, happiness, health, and– thanks to Ask a Guy–a LOT about men.

The other day I was reflecting upon how much I’ve learned (and how badly I wish I knew all these things sooner!) and realized that sharing these insights would be the perfect way to celebrate our birthday. [Click here to keep reading…]

How to Be the Most Attractive Woman In the Room post image

It’s the stuff of countless romance films and perfume commercials: An insanely alluring woman walks into a room (almost comically slowly) and all eyes turn to her. The gentlemen present are so compelled by her charms that they immediately abandon their dates and rush to her side. Women want to be her and men want to be with her.

Now let’s get real. While we may idolize aloof Angelinas on the silver screen, in our everyday lives, it’s the friendly, girl-next-door Jennifers who we’re truly drawn to.

So what exactly are those seemingly intangible qualities that make a woman seem to light up a room? Obviously, we can’t deny that beauty is a major factor. But there are plenty of charismatic people that we’re inexplicably drawn to even though they’re not a 10 (or even a 6) in the looks department. Bill Clinton certainly springs to mind as does, say, Lady Gaga.

With that in mind, we wanted to find out what exactly charisma is and why we’re so captivated by the most charming person in the room. More importantly, is charisma something you’re simply born with or can you learn to exude charm?
[Click here to keep reading…]

The Most Important Relationship Advice You Will Ever Receive post image

Over the years I’ve been in my fair share of relationships. I’ve also been what felt like the third party in many of my friends’ relationships as I used my years of wisdom to help them through every step of their relationships. There is one key ingredient that will determine the success, or failure, of a relationship. When I look back at the times when I’ve struggled and felt tortured trying to figure out why guys act the way they do, and when I see my friends in similar predicaments, one major and fundamental issue is invariably at the heart of the matter.

Eric and I dish out a lot of relationship advice on this site. We help you understand why that guy who seemed so into you at first is suddenly acting shady or why the guy that acts like you’re boyfriend won’t just call you his girlfriend. While we’re happy to supply you with these explanations, we’d be remiss if we didn’t cover one fundamental truth about relationships: you will never find love with another until you find it within yourself.

I know, it’s one of those facts that makes you roll your eyes but in truth, it makes all the difference in the world. When you love yourself, you don’t care why he’s being shady and blowing you off or why he won’t just put a label on it because you know your worth and your value. You won’t even need to call up your loyal girlfriends and listen to them tell you that you can do so much better than him because it’s a freakin’ given! [Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: What Do His Excuses Really Mean? post image

I’ve been friends with this guy for nearly two years now and I’ve been completely hung up on him for about eleven months. For the majority of that time he was in a relationship that had been going on for a while, but about three months ago he ended it. A while later, we had a talk about our feelings for each other and he said that he wanted a relationship with me but that he needed a little time to get over what was quite a messy break-up (especially since his ex spread a few not-so-nice rumors about me and him following it).

After the talk we got a lot closer and it felt like we were really going somewhere. However, that all changed when we went on holiday with a group of friends recently and it felt like he started to pull away big time. He acted extremely distant towards me for the whole week and he’s been very flirty with a friend of mine who is actually in a relationship and trying to help me get to the bottom of all this.  Everyone on the trip expected something to happen between us whilst away and I don’t know if this freaked him out or something, but since then we haven’t been the same together. And now he’s saying that he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone until the next Uni year, which isn’t until September. He’s also said that I’m free to do as I wish with any other guys since he doesn’t think it’s fair for me to have to ‘stick to any rules’.

The problem I’m having is understanding where he’s coming from. Is he relationship-shy because of his messy break-up? Did things get too real for him on the trip? Or, are all of these excuses his way of telling me that, when it comes down to it, he doesn’t actually want to be in a relationship with me? [Click here to keep reading…]

4 Weeks to a Sexier You post image

4 Weeks to a Sexier You

It’s not the shoes, or the lipstick, or even the curve-hugging sky high miniskirt–confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have on. Confidence is what makes people turn their heads and take notice when you walk by, what gets you that promotion and what gives you the strength to manage each busy and stressful day without breaking a sweat. The most powerful sort of confidence is sexual confidence, which can empower you like no other.

Here to help women in the quest for sexual confidence is lifestyle expert and Booty Parlor creator Dana B. Meyers with her new book, The Official Booty Parlor Mojo Makeover. In the book, she provides 30 day program designed to make women, whether they’re single or coupled up, feel happier, sexier and more fulfilled.

Read on for a quick taste of how you can become more sexually confident in 4 weeks. [Click here to keep reading…]

How to Feel Great Even Though You’ve Gained Weight post image

I am currently struggling with something that I’m sure more than a few of you can relate to: I gained a bunch of weight over the holidays and am still trying my darnedest to get rid of it.

I don’t even really know how it happened, it was like I woke up one day and all of a sudden the jeans I used to be able to wear so comfortably became suffocating torture devices and I found myself going head-to-head with the stubborn zippers on my favorite dresses, the ones that used to glide right up so easily. I’m taking all the right steps, eating less, exercising more, but it’s been an agonizingly unfruitful process and the pounds aren’t melting away as quickly as they implanted themselves.

Now this isn’t gonna be an article about how I lost the weight, or about my valiant efforts to get back where I was. I was inspired to write this because I realized that this slight change on the outside caused some major changes on the inside and in the past month,  I’ve barely been able to recognize myself. All of a sudden I was insecure, introverted, and riddled with self-doubt. I also became someone who constantly berated herself which was disappointing because that is something I always speak out against. I was traveling down a very detrimental path, one that would have caused the Sabrina who started ANM a year ago to smack me right across the head, and justly so: I let myself get caught up in the idea that my weight meant everything.

So what happened exactly? Well I lost perspective and veered off course. Now I’m back and while I’m still working to get myself back to where I was, I have learned to accept where I am now and to feel great even though I’ve put on some weight.

Read on for my tips! [Click here to keep reading…]

More Bad Habits To Stop And Good Habits to Adopt post image

A whole new year is almost upon us. A time to do away with the bad and start anew with the good to make this next year a great one. We still have a few weeks before the New Year, but that doesn’t mean we should wait to start putting our best selves forward. From superficial improvements like buying clothes in the right size to mental improvements like letting go of the past, little adjustments can make a world of a difference when it comes to your life and overall happiness.

And with that, I bring you another installment of bad habits to stop and good habits to adopt. [Click here to keep reading…]

4 Easy Ways to Instantly Love Yourself and Be More Confident post image

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere” ~Agnes Repplier

I was once a very foolish little lady and I know I’m not alone. I wanted a boyfriend more than anything. I never stopped to wonder why, I just wanted it. Now this isn’t gonna be a tale about how I wanted it and it didn’t happen and then when I stopped wanting it, it did. My desperation did somehow result in a relationship and from there, chaos ensued.

Saying I wanted a boyfriend had a very clear underlying message- I wanted to be loved, desired, to feel good about myself, to have someone there to make me feel good about myself when I didn’t. During the course of our relationship my moods were totally contingent upon the way he responded to me- a compliment would lead to exhilaration. An insult? Well I’d fall to pieces.

Not surprisingly, the relationship didn’t last and it was only in the years after that I realized the reason why: I was looking outside myself for love and approval, a fatal misstep I see committed all the time. After this relationship ended, I truly learned the value of loving myself, and I found that with my newfound confidence, I was a much happier person out of the relationship than I had ever been when I was in it.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Achieving your Goals post image

Achieving your Goals

Goals are an essential part of human existence. Our goals breathe meaning into our every day lives. They push us forward, drive us, motivate us, and inspire us to become even greater. I have many goals- some big, some small. Over the years I have accomplished many of my goals and there are some that I’m still working on. This blog, for instance, was a major goal of mine for years and for some reason, I was unable to lift the idea off the back burner and move forward with it. I have been giving the concept of goals a lot of thought lately and have uncovered some wonderful techniques that have helped me and will help you in attaining your goals and becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.

Read on for more! [Click here to keep reading…]

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