10 Telltale Signs He’s Ready to Settle Down post image

No one wants to waste their time when it comes to dating and relationships….but sadly, most of us do. The reason is that we let our emotions overrun our common sense and reasoning. We cling to the vision of what could be rather than seeing and accepting what is.

 

I always know when a relationship is going to fail. It’s a very unfortunate superpower. I know the end just when things begin but I can’t really say anything, and even if I did, it would fall on deaf ears and that friend would probably stop talking to me. I always hope I’m wrong in these situations, maybe this time my Spidey Sense was a little off. But no, it’s usually spot on. (Recommended reading: 5 Signs He’ll Never Commit)

There are a few reasons why I can see so clearly: 1) I’m not in the situation and that makes it easier to be objective. 2) I write about relationships for a living so I know a thing or two and 3) There are certain obvious, telltale signs that a guy is ready to settle down.

MORE: Why Won’t He Commit? 

So what are the signs that he’s ready to settle down? I’m going to share them with you below. If your guy is showing at least a few of these signs, he is most likely ready to settle down with you.

[Click here to keep reading…]

What Every Single Guy Does If He’s Cheating (And How To Know For Sure) post image

Is he cheating on me? How do you know if your man is cheating? If you notice your boyfriend or husband showing any of these signs, you should be very suspicious!

If you’re reading this article, there must be some doubt in your mind about your man’s fidelity. Before we delve deeper into this topic, take a moment to acknowledge that you have this funny feeling. A woman’s intuition is a powerful thing. Your feelings are valid so don’t dismiss them. Much of the time when a man is caught cheating, the woman has somewhat suspected it for a while – even if she didn’t want to admit it to herself.

MORE: 15 Definite Signs He’s Cheating On You

While you should lean towards trusting your gut, by no means is it going to be 100% right all of the time. Nobody’s perfect and we’re all susceptible to making mistakes, particularly if you’ve been cheated on before. If you have a history with infidelity, be aware of the fact that you could be looking at things from a slightly warped perspective. That’s only natural when you’ve been hurt before or are prone to insecurity.

Be as objective as you can as you look at your relationship. Considering how you would advise a friend in your position can be a helpful exercise in setting aside your own bias and tendencies.

And to help you gain more clarity, here’s a list of 14 things pretty much all men do if they’re cheating.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Are You Dating a Commitment-phobe? (Top Signs He’s Afraid of Commitment) post image

One of the biggest phobias women have when it comes to dating and relationships is dating a commitment-phobic man (see what I did there?). The fear is real and is what keeps our guard up and our eyes wide open for anything that looks like a bad sign.

Well here’s the good news. Most men are not commitment-phobes. I would say that term only applies to a teeny tiny portion of the male population and when a guy truly has that phobia, it will be obvious.

So what about the rest? What about the guy you were dating for a while who seemed super into you but just didn’t want to be “official?” What about the guy who is so sweet and attentive and always there for you, but immediately clams up and emotionally withdraws anytime you mention meeting his family or taking the next step in the relationship? What about the guy who always has a reason for not committing … he’s stressed at work … he wants to wait until he’s more financially stable … he’s having family issues … as soon as the busy season is over … as soon as summer is over … etc. etc.

MORE: 5 Major Signs He’ll Never Commit

Well look, some people do have real fears when it comes to commitment. Fears aren’t the same a phobias, fears can be abated with time. A phobia runs much deeper and can’t always be reasoned with.

Almost anyone who has been dating for a while has some level of fear when it comes to relationships. Maybe it’s because we’ve been hurt before, maybe it’s because we’re afraid of going through another breakup because we all know how brutal those can be, or maybe our trust has been battered too many times and we just can’t let our guards all the way down.

This is how to know if your guy truly is a commitment-phobe, or if he just has commitment fears.

[Click here to keep reading…]

What Makes a Man Want An Exclusive Relationship With You? post image

What makes a man want exclusivity with you? It’s a question burdening countless women.

Here is how it usually plays out. You’re seeing a guy that you really like. He seems to like you a lot too. You hang out often, you laugh, you connect … but you’re not an official couple. You try bringing it up to him, but he either changes the subject or gives you some excuse as to why he doesn’t want to be exclusive. You feel hurt and confused. It doesn’t make any sense, everything seems to be going so well, why doesn’t he want an exclusive relationship with you?

When you’re in it, it’s a painful question and the answer can seem hard to find. But it’s actually all pretty basic.

MORE: Major Signs He’ll Never Commit

So let’s look at exactly what it takes to make a guy want to be exclusive with you.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Why a Man Won’t Emotionally Commit (and What To Do About It) post image

You’re seeing a guy… but he just won’t emotionally commit. Ouch.

This is usually how it unfolds. You’ve been dating for a little while, the momentum is strong, things seem to really be driving along in the right direction … but then it stops. He starts to pull away and withdraw and you feel like you’re losing him.

Is he a commitment-phobe? Did he lose interest in you? Did you push him away? Why won’t he commit, and what can you do to get things back on track?

MORE: Why Do Men Pull Away – 3 Main Reasons

It’s a devastating feeling. You can’t help but blame yourself. You must have done something to cause this. You go through all the possibilities in your mind and come up empty and meanwhile, he’s slipping further away. What happened?

I’m going to break down exactly why a man won’t emotionally commit and what you should do about it.

[Click here to keep reading…]

12 Definite Signs Your Partner is in Love With You post image

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

Anyone who’s been in love can relate to that flicker (or tidal wave) of panic at the idea of being the first one in the relationship to say it. You know, those three powerful words. You’ve heard them said out loud so many times that they almost lose their meaning. So why are they abruptly terrifying when you try to make your own mouth utter them to a special someone for the first time?

MORE: The Biggest Signs He’s in Love With You

Loving is the most vulnerable thing we do. For something that happens to everyone, it’s surprisingly unique to each person experiencing it. You feel like you’re charting undiscovered territory as you navigate falling in love. Once you feel it, you get the urge to scream it from the rooftops. At the same time, if you haven’t said it to your person yet, even whispering the words seems a task far too daunting for a mere mortal.

To summon the courage to admit your feelings, observe your partner. There are tangible signs that a man is in love if you look for them.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Guy Talk: 10 Undeniable Signs a Man is Ready To Commit post image

You are ready to commit … but is your man on the same page?

It’s a very common question that plagues many women so let’s get into it and talk about the signs a man is ready to commit because no one wants to waste their time, right?

There is this idea that men are commitment-phobes. The second a guy hesitates about his feelings for a girl, he’s branded a “phobe.” But that’s not true. Most guys aren’t commitment-phobes, they’re bad relationship-phobes. Is that a thing? I think we should make it one!

Guys aren’t afraid of relationships, we’re afraid of bad relationships. Most guys don’t go out seeking commitment. We’re not usually on a quest to find a relationship. We date around and then when we meet a girl who just makes everything better… we want to be around her more and more. And before we even realize it, we’re in it. We’re committed and can’t imagine life without her. It’s as simple as that.

But what are the signs he’s ready? How do you know if you’re dating a guy who is ready to commit, or if you’re wasting time on a dead end?

Here is how to know:

[Click here to keep reading…]

When a Guy Says He Never Wants to Get Married … post image

So he said he never wants to get married … ouch! Now what?

I recently wrote an article on the signs a man is never going to marry you. And they are all true. But you don’t need a list of signs if a man flat out tells you he never wants to get married (the same applies if he says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship), you need to just believe him and take it at face value.

So why is it so confusing then? Why do women stay in these dead-end relationships?

The reasons vary. Maybe she doesn’t want to end this relationship and start all over with someone new because that’s just exhausting. Maybe she thinks there’s a chance she can change his mind … that if she sticks it out a little longer he’ll realize he absolutely can’t live without her (hate to break it to you, but that only happens in the movies).

She thinks maybe he’s just saying he doesn’t believe in marriage, but he doesn’t really mean it. She thinks maybe his ex really did a number on him and now he’s all messed up and he needs her love in order to heal, and then he’ll give her the commitment she wants.

MORE: 5 Signs He’ll Never Commit

The fact is, the human mind is a master at coming up with rationalizations when presented with a reality we don’t quite want to accept. It can convince you of anything. And so you stay.

Maybe part of you knows this is the wrong call. And maybe that’s how you landed on this article.

So let’s dive in a little deeper and talk about exactly what to do when he says he never wants to get married.

[Click here to keep reading…]

15 Definite Signs He’s Cheating On You post image

Cheating is generally considered the ultimate betrayal and the most difficult issue to bounce back from in a relationship. This is because trust is so critical … it’s the foundation a relationship is built on. If you can’t trust a man to be honest with you, then everything else you try to build together will just fall apart.

It’s natural not to want to admit it could be happening to you, so you may ignore the signs. Or maybe the signs are there and you’re willing to see them, but you don’t even know what to look for.

On the other hand, if you’ve been cheated on before and this is a major issue for you, you may know the signs all too well. This can be a good thing because you’ll be able to recognize what’s going on quickly and get out, or it can be a bad thing because you’re hypersensitive and zeroing in on non-issues because of the trauma in your past, so insecurity and paranoia take over.

MORE: The Real Reason Men Cheat 

Sometimes it helps to set aside your emotions as much as you possibly can. Maybe that means temporarily letting go of your fear that you could lose everything you have with him if you’re right, or your anxiety that it could be happening to you all over again. Set aside those feelings for just a minute and look logically at his behavior, and you can get to the answer you need.

One or two of these signs might not mean anything, but if they start piling up, you need to take the possibility that he might be cheating on you very seriously.

[Click here to keep reading…]

5 Signs He’s Not The One post image

5 Signs He’s Not The One


The most difficult relationship skill is recognizing when something isn’t working and summoning the strength to walk away. Love isn’t enough to ensure a relationship stands the test of time. Two people can love each other very much and still not be right for one another. We’d all like to believe that all you need is love, but the truth is, it’s a lot more complicated than that.

If a lasting, committed relationship is what you want, you need to be able to recognize the warning signs that indicate a relationship isn’t built to last.

Here are the top five signs that he isn’t the one:

[Click here to keep reading…]

10 Signs He’s Husband Material post image

A lot of women write to us begging to understand why their relationships always fail… why guys treat them badly…why they always get hurt…why they can’t get a guy to commit. The common thread in most of these cases is these women are choosing men who clearly are not husband–or even relationship– material and hoping by some chance he’ll suddenly transform and be the knight in shining armor she wants. This type of situation doesn’t exist anywhere aside from cheesy romantic comedies. If you choose to pursue a relationship with a guy who clearly isn’t relationship material, then you’re setting yourself up to fail before you even begin.

Trust me, I know all too well how enticing those damage cases can be. Sure, he’s has emotional issues, he’s jaded, he’s struggling at work, he has no direction, he still acts like a frat boy even though his acting like a drunk idiot and getting away with it days expired years ago, but there’s a really great guy underneath all that and as soon as we deal with all this other stuff, then we’ll have an amazing relationship. I’m sorry but no.
[Click here to keep reading…]

10 Ways to Stay Single Forever post image

10 Ways to Stay Single Forever


Being single for a certain amount of time has its benefits. I personally experienced the most growth and self-awareness during my years as a single girl, and while there were some painful and lonely moments, they all led me to a place where I could break through some of my walls and do some necessary inner work.

At the same time, no one makes it a goal to be single forever. We all want love; we all want a partner to share our lives with. Even though that is the goal, a lot of us mistakenly go about attaining the thing we want so much in all the wrong ways. We continue to live life in the same way and hope that it will somehow lead to different results. We know that this doesn’t really make any sense, and yet we continue to operate from a default setting.

Being single isn’t a curse and being in a relationship isn’t a cure-all. No matter what stage you’re in, it’s important to take a personal inventory—to look at the habits and choices that are helping you, and the ones that are hurting you. It’s not a matter of putting yourself out there more, of signing up for every dating site and side-swiping app—finding a truly amazing, healthy relationship is much more about being ready for such a relationship. It’s about identifying faulty patterns and thought processes that may be blocking you from getting what you want.

I have written many articles on how to get the relationship you want. There are also ways to guarantee that you never get what you want. Seeing what they are is the first step in correcting the problem. And with that, here are ten ways to stay single forever:

[Click here to keep reading…]

9 Questions To Consider Before Committing post image

9 Questions To Consider Before Committing


It’s tempting to jump into relationships when we meet someone we believe is wonderful. But if it takes a few months to begin gauging someone’s character, and two to three years to truly know them, we are setting ourselves up for disaster if we commit too soon.

Here are nine essential questions to help guide us: [Click here to keep reading…]

16 Signs Your Man is Emotionally Unavailable post image

If you feel like you’re pulling teeth with two thumbs and no anesthesia every time you try to get your guy to talk about his feelings, well, you wouldn’t be alone. Plenty of men find they can’t, because they’re cut off from their emotions. Society still tells guys, from the time they are very little, to deny their feelings or better yet, not have them at all. Unfortunately, women are simultaneously being primed by society to believe that men should fulfill them emotionally.

So little girl and little boy grow up, get married, and become frustrated with each other. Amiright?

Sigh. We’re here to help you recognize when your man is having a hard time getting in touch with his “feminine side” (see what a sexist world we live in?). Patti Henry, therapist and author of The Emotionally Unavailable Man, writes that there are various behaviors suggesting a man is emotionally shut down.

Here are 16 signs your guy is emotionally unavailable.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: Is My Relationship Heading in the Right Direction? post image

I have been dating a guy for six months, but we’re not official. I like him a lot and really enjoy spending time with him and I know he feels the same about me.  Since we both have busy work schedules and children, we do not see each other often, maybe every other week, and we’ve taken two trips together (including one last weekend). In between seeing each other i person, we text and e-mail sporadically. 

I’m just wondering if this relationship is heading in the right direction, and if it will lead to something lasting. I am also worried about coming across as needy and sometimes I hesitate to initiate texts with him. For instance, is it needy behavior to send the text: “Thank you for yesterday – I like when we see each other, it feels good”?

[Click here to keep reading…]

4 Ways to Make Him Commit and Want Only You post image

What does it take to get a man to truly commit and want only you? It’s a question I’ve been asked more times than I could ever quantify.

What men desire most is a woman who inspires them to be their best self. Being that woman is a much different mindset than what most women typically do these days.

So what’s the major error that trips women up? It’s their focus. Instead of focusing on the feelings and experience they create for the man, the woman fixates on her own wants, her own worries, her own fears.

And amidst this completely self-absorbed mindset consumed by what she wants, it’s no wonder that she’s unable to hook a man’s interest in a significant way, one that goes beyond just hooking up.

Sure, that woman might cook him dinners, perform in bed, and tell him how much she likes him, but none of that stuff penetrates a man’s psychology on a deep and meaningful level.

Forget about just getting commitment. When you really understand and master the art of tapping into the deep parts of a man’s psyche, he will want to move mountains to possess you.

MORE: 5 Signs He’ll Never Commit to You

Men don’t start out there when they first meet a woman, though. She needs to reach him at that level by recognizing his ambitions, his fears, his motivations, his “mission” in life and where he ultimately wants to “win.”

Here are four ways to reach a man deeply and make him want to commit and devote himself fully to you. [Click here to keep reading…]

5 Ways to Ruin a Budding Relationship post image

Relationships are really quite simple when you understand the core dynamics at play. When you don’t, however, you can drive yourself half insane trying to figure it all out.

The beginning of a relationship is often the most confusing time, a time when everything seems precarious and you don’t quite know where you stand or where, if anywhere, the relationship is going.

Men and women are different and as such, the way we experience and process relationships is different. Men tend to be much more in the moment, if the relationship is enjoyable in the here and now, they’re happy. If it’s unpleasant, they either distance themselves or leave. Women, on the other hand, tend to get stuck in the details, the nuances, the “clues” both real and perceived. In the midst of this quest to figure out what’s going on and where he stands, they often lose sight of what’s important (the actual relationship, and how it is in the here and now).

Women, on the other hand, tend to get stuck in the details, the nuances, the “clues” both real and perceived. In the midst of this quest to figure out what’s going on and where he stands, they often lose sight of what’s important (the actual relationship, and how it is in the here and now).

No one intentionally seeks to sabotage their relationship (at least, not if you really like the guy). Conversely, women usually go in with the best intentions and can be blindsided should the relationship crumble before it really gets going.

Here are five things you might unknowingly be doing that can ruin your relationship:
[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: Is There Any Chance this Guy Will Finally Commit? post image

I was dating this guy for a few months and things were great. He was fresh out of a relationship when we met and told me off the bat he wasn’t looking for anything serious. After three months, I got sick of this arrangement and called things off. A few days later, I asked if he wanted to hang out as friends. We had an amazing time and he ended up apologizing and asking to date me again.

Things were even better this time around. He opened up even more and talked to me about his issues and insecurities. Then he ended it again saying things were only going to get more serious and he couldn’t handle it.  After that we would hook up here and there but I wasn’t comfortable with the situation and said we should stop being friends with benefits and just be friends.

We still hang out here and there and text periodically. Every time we see each other we have an amazing time and I feel like we really connect. The problem is he tries to hook up with me when we hang out and I don’t want to do that unless we’re back together.

I was hoping that by staying friends he would be reminded of how well we click and was hoping he’d get over his issues. This plan doesn’t seem to be working, though. Part of me feels like he senses on some level that we’d be great together, but I also feel like if he was going to come back he would have done it by now. Will he ever come back and commit or am I wasting my time?

[Click here to keep reading…]

5 Types of Men to Avoid Dating post image

5 Types of Men to Avoid Dating


They say experience is the greatest teacher and if my dating experience has taught me anything, it’s that there are certain types of guys who always spell trouble.

Eric and I get flooded with questions from readers asking: “Is he serious about me?” Will he ever commit to me?” “He says he cares but he’s not acting like it.” This game of he loves me, he loves me not is exhausting and can ravage your self-esteem.

Think about how much time, energy, and heartache you would save if you could determine if he’s the kind of guy who will commit right off the bat.

The first step in having an amazing, healthy relationship is to choose wisely. To do that, you need to know what red flags to watch out for so you can extricate yourself from a bad situation before you get in too deep and wind up brokenhearted.

And with that, I bring you the five types of guys to avoid dating, and tips on what to do if you’re already dating one of the types. [Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: How Do I Get Him to Commit? post image

I’ve been seeing a guy for about six months now. Everything in the relationship is great- we get along, we have fun together, we just get each other. The only thing is he won’t commit to me. He said he wasn’t hooking up with anyone else, only me, but he’s not ready to use titles.  I know his last relationship ended badly, so that might be part of it. I just don’t get it, the relationship is so great in every way aside from this.

How do I get him to commit to me? [Click here to keep reading…]

Why Women Get More Attached (Blame Biology!) post image

Women are known to “obsess” a bit when it comes to relationships. Okay, obsession may be a strong word, but there are biological reasons why women become more emotionally attached to their lovers than men do.  At the turn of the 21st century studies were conducted to better understand romantic attachment. The results were quite jarring to say the least and it was discovered that orgasms cause both oxytocin and vasopressin to be released from the hypothalamus, which is the part of the brain that is responsible for pleasure and mating.  Although the two neuropeptides associated with continued attachment are secreted in both men and women, oxytocin and vasopressin have stronger influence on women .

Oh yes, it happens to everyone. [Click here to keep reading…]

A New Take On Why He Won’t Call You His Girlfriend post image

A popular question we get for our famous ‘Ask a Guy’ section is: “Why won’t he call me his girlfriend?” I am not surprised at all, this situation is the worst! I’ve been there, my friends have been there, and it’s so frustrating and makes zero sense. I mean, you’re with this guy, you’re spending a lot of time together, you are in a relationship in every single way except for the fact that you’re not technically in a relationship.

Eric does a great job explaining what might be going on in your guy’s mind but I have some insights that, although from a female perspective, will be of great value as well. A few years ago I had my heart absolutely broken. The experience caused me to completely shut down emotionally. I was aloof, I was hard to read, I didn’t get too close, I was present but never available, essentially, I was a guy (in the psychological sense anyway!). [Click here to keep reading…]

Ask A Guy: If He Won’t Commit Now, Will He Ever? post image

I have been dating a man for about 5 months and everything is pretty good. He was married for 10 years and has been divorced for about 2. His ex still gives him a hard time, but he says that he has moved on. He has custody of one child and she the other.

We spend majority of our time together. We go out often, I’ve been introduced to the family and he to mine, and he treats me like I’m his girlfriend. Last week I bought up the subject and the answer wasn’t what I expected. He told me how great I was and that he loved what we have, but at this time, he didn’t have the capacity to commit to more. I processed this and the next day told him that we probably shouldn’t talk or see each other anymore. My rationale was that I was too emotionally caught up and didn’t know when he would have the ‘capacity.’ He was in utter shock!

He said that he expected me to pull back, but not cut it off completely. Then, he back peddled and said he prays daily for god to release some of the things in his life. He also said that just because he doesn’t have the capacity today it doesn’t mean that he won’t have it in 2,4, or 6 months. Being a woman, I accepted his logic and things have been good. He continues to treat me well, but in the back of my mind I’m scared things aren’t going to change and that I’m wasting my time. I want to have kids and he knows this (and says this is fine) so this further complicates the situation because I don’t want to waste these years with someone who doesn’t have the capacity to commit at this time.

Lately I’ve also notice that when we talk about things like houses and cars he uses ‘us’ and ‘we.’ For example, I am considering purchasing a new car (sports). We were talking and he told me to purchase whatever I like, but remember that I want to have kids in a few years and that I would have to get a new car. I said that my future husband would just take my car and I would take his. He told me that if we marry that that car switching wouldn’t work (he doesn’t like small cars) and that I better buy a car that could hold the entire family (including his family). Mixed signals?

I’m really confused. Do I leave since the one thing I know for certain is that he doesn’t have the capacity or enjoy our time together?

See our guy’s response after the jump!

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask A Guy: Why Do Guys Vanish After A Great First Date? post image

I’ve gone out with three different guys in the past month. With all of these guys, we talk and have a good time for a few hours over coffee. He asks me out for a second date, and takes down my phone number. He even talks specifics for the next date (what day, what we might do). None of these guys actually call me to schedule the next date.

What is going on here? I can see this happening maybe once, but three times? …and what is the rationale behind asking a girl out and then never calling? If he doesn’t like me, why doesn’t he just not ask me out again, or just not ask for my phone number?

Read on for our guy’s response!

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask A Guy: Am I Wasting My Time? post image

I was at a party with some friends, and one certain guy was there that was a friend of a friend. I had known him throughout high school but we never really spoke or spent time together. I was very much attracted to him and wanted to get to know him better. At the end of the night we ended up talking for hours and then impulsively slept together.

Not too much was expected afterward from either one of us. However, I spent the night at his house a few days later and we ended up hooking up again. The next day he sent  me a note saying that he was really sorry but he wasn’t in the right mindset to be in a relationship right now and we should start spending time as friends and nothing more. As upset as I was, I accepted it and was happy to at least still have him as a friend. I really feel like we have connected ever since then.  He shares everything with me, and me with him.

Over the next two months, we hung out as friends. We started to hook up twice but he immediately pulled away and said that he doesn’t want to hurt me.  He said he wants me and that he really likes me but he couldn’t see the relationship going anywhere since we were both planning on leaving at the end of the summer. However, neither of us is planning on leaving anymore, so I can’t understand why he still won’t commit.

I feel like he’s afraid of getting hurt- he battles with depression issues and doesn’t seem strong enough to handle any sort of disappointment. I just get very confused because he runs so hot and cold with me. One minute I feel like he’s changed his mind and wants to further our  relationship and make a commitment, but then he’ll pulls away. At this point, I’m not sure if I should wait it out and see where it goes because I’ve really started to like him and can see myself dating him. On the other hand, I feel like I’m wasting my time and it isn’t  fair to put myself through the constant disappointment.

Is he ever going to come around, or am I wasting my time? Does he really like me or is he just making up excuses to cover his fear of commitment or lack of interest??

Read on for our guy’s response!
[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask A Guy: Is He Committed To Me? post image

I recently started dating a guy who sometimes works night shifts and sometimes day shifts. When he works the day shifts I see him every day, but when working night shifts, we only have time on weekends which means I don’t see him at all during the week. Anyway, when Friday comes along he chooses to go out with his friends rather than being with me and I’m really confused because he always tells me that he loves me.

He also suggested that we buy each other rings as a symbol of commitment to one another. I told him I will think about it since we have only been dating for two months but I now I’m don’t think it’s a good idea to buy the rings, especially if he can choose to go out drinking with his friends over spending time with me.

I just don’t know how to tell him that I think it’s a bad idea since he hasn’t shown he’s really committed to me. What should I do?

See our guy’s response after the jump! [Click here to keep reading…]

Ask A Guy: Is He ‘Just Not That Into Me?’ post image

I met this guy online about two years ago. Everything was amazing at first and we dated for a month before he left for medical school. For that whole month, we saw each other almost every day and he said he really liked me and I was everything he was looking for and all the stuff guys say in the beginning when they really like a girl. After that month he left for medical school in Nevada (I live in California), making it a long distance relationship.

We tried to keep it together at first, I even flew out there one weekend, but he ended up sending me a long email telling me that he just couldn’t handle a relationship at that time because he had just started medical school and he was dealing with a lot. I didn’t talk to him for about six months after that. For the last two years we have been talking off and on but never actually got back together. Recently, we started talking again, but just as friends. About a month ago he confessed that he’d had a girlfriend for the last 6 months and she just broke up with him and he was really upset.

I gave him advice and I was there for him as a friend, trying to make him feel better, all the while still having feelings for him and wanting him to like me. I finally decided to tell him that I wanted a relationship and nothing else and if he didn’t want the same thing I couldn’t handle being friends with him and to not call me again.

Read on for the rest of this question and our guy’s response! [Click here to keep reading…]

Ask A Guy: When He Suddenly Gets ‘Turned Off’ post image

There’s this guy at work that was pursuing me since last November. We’re so similar that it is scary. He used to joke that I was his twin who was separated at birth or his future wife.  It started as just a joke and then I think he actually developed feelings for me and started asking me out. I was hesitant because I have dated guys at work before and it’s always gone sour. He told me “Life is what it is and things happen for a reason. You just haven’t met the right person.” Anyway, he kept pursuing me an I finally gave in and we went on out first date in March.

It was lots of fun and I never really felt I connected with someone like this before. I didn’t feel like I had to impress him, I was myself.  We were seeing each other like that for about two months and then we slept together. I made the mistake of asking him if there was a future for us. I wasn’t asking for a relationship, I just wanted to know that there could be because I dated this other guy for two and half years and he never committed. Anyway, this new guy also asked me to do something in the bedroom and I said no.

After that he started to become distant and when I confronted him about it he said that I did two things that turned him off. The first was talking about having relationship too soon and the other was that ‘you never say no in the bedroom.’ I told him that I understand that he felt this way but I am not a mind reader, and you should tell me or tell the person you are with when you are turned off. He told me “it was a no brainer.”

Read on for the rest of this question and our guy’s response after the jump [Click here to keep reading…]

Ask A Guy: Does He Just Want Sex? post image

I’ve been seeing someone for about 2 months now, and we have sex often but he won’t call me his girlfriend even though we’ve met each other’s families, spend a lot of time together and act like we are dating. Is telling him I won’t have sex with him anymore because we aren’t dating, and I’m now uncomfortable with it, a bad idea? I think it might help me see if he’s only in it for sex, but I’m not sure.

Read our guy’s response after the jump! [Click here to keep reading…]

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