A whole new year is almost upon us. A time to do away with the bad and start anew with the good to make this next year a great one. We still have a few weeks before the New Year, but that doesn’t mean we should wait to start putting our best selves forward. From superficial improvements like buying clothes in the right size to mental improvements like letting go of the past, little adjustments can make a world of a difference when it comes to your life and overall happiness.
And with that, I bring you another installment of bad habits to stop and good habits to adopt.
1. STOP: Holding grudges ADOPT: Letting bygones be bygones
Holding onto a grudge is like a poison that does nothing to the “hatee” and deeply impacts the hater. I was once the kind of person who simply could not let go of her grudges. No sir, I stuck to my guns and stayed mad.
Where did that get me? Absolutely nowhere! Not only that, it just continued to cause problems in my life, especially when it came to dealing with people who I was still holding grudges against. One wrong move or misstep on their part and the anger accompanying my grudge would be wide awake and ready to attack.
When someone wrongs you there are two options: cut them loose and move on or forgive them and move on. Holding onto the anger and trying to maintain the relationship just doesn’t work and you don’t need all that hate/anger/resentment over whatever happened swirling around in your mind. You are much too good for that, don’t you think?
2. STOP: Buying clothes too small just to say you fit into a small size ADOPT: Buying clothes that fit and accepting they look better
I can not stress this one enough! I think I hold this tip near and dear because I wish someone had worked harder to drum it into my head before I knew better. Yes, trust me, I know how incredible it is to fit into a small size. But you know what’s not incredible? When you have to get rid of that item which has been left in your closet untouched because it simply doesn’t fit!
And even worse is when you wait so long that said item can’t be returned and cannot be found anywhere at a bigger size (trust me, I’ve been there; it’s painful!).
Accept your body for what it looks like right now, not what you want it to look like at some point in the future, and shop accordingly!
3. STOP: Seeking the approval of others ADOPT: Approving of yourself
It is really easy to fall into the trap of basing your sense of worth on the way others respond to you. I’ve had those nights when I would go out thinking I looked great and then quickly deduce I must look like crap since I wasn’t getting hit on (it’s shameful, but I think we’ve all been there).
Your boss doesn’t need to pat you on the head and tell you what a great worker you are for it to be true, your boyfriend doesn’t have to tell you how beautiful you are every minute of the day, your friends don’t need to tell you what a great/smart/funny/sweet/caring/pretty person you are.
You should KNOW these things. They should be so firmly ingrained that any outside affirmation is nice, but not necessary.
It is so liberating to not need approval from others. You know you’re great, you know you have so much to offer the world, we all do. Depending on others for assurance and affirmations is a surefire way to be endlessly disappointed.
So free yourself and love who you are. The other option just sucks!
4. STOP: Regretting the past ADOPT: Living in the present and looking to the future
We all have regrets and we’ve all made mistakes. Another mistake would be to spend your time dwelling on the past and thinking about how things may have turned out if you had gone a different route.
You are in the here-and-now. Going back and starting anew only happens in the movies. I often wonder what life would have been like if I didn’t date that guy, if I went to that other school, if I took that job, if I worked a little harder, did a little more, etc etc. I can’t think of any good that has come out of such musings. All I know is the path that I took brought me here not there and I’ve learned to make ‘here’ pretty wonderful.
So let go of the baggage holding you back and instead of thinking of how things might have been, work towards making them what they could be.
Do you have any bad habits to stop and good habits to adopt that didn’t make the list? Please share in the comments section!
– SABRINA ALEXIS