More Bad Habits To Stop And Good Habits to Adopt post image

More Bad Habits To Stop And Good Habits to Adopt


A whole new year is almost upon us. A time to do away with the bad and start anew with the good to make this next year a great one. We still have a few weeks before the New Year, but that doesn’t mean we should wait to start putting our best selves forward. From superficial improvements like buying clothes in the right size to mental improvements like letting go of the past, little adjustments can make a world of a difference when it comes to your life and overall happiness.

And with that, I bring you another installment of bad habits to stop and good habits to adopt.

1. STOP:  Holding grudges ADOPT: Letting bygones be bygones

Holding onto a grudge is like a poison that does nothing to the “hatee” and deeply impacts the hater. I was once the kind of person who simply could not let go of her grudges. No sir, I stuck to my guns and stayed mad.

Where did that get me? Absolutely nowhere! Not only that, it just continued to cause problems in my life, especially when it came to dealing with people who I was still holding grudges against. One wrong move or misstep on their part and the anger accompanying my grudge would be wide awake and ready to attack.

When someone wrongs you there are two options: cut them loose and move on or forgive them and move on. Holding onto the anger and trying to maintain the relationship just doesn’t work and you don’t need all that hate/anger/resentment over whatever happened swirling around in your mind. You are much too good for that, don’t you think?

2. STOP:  Buying clothes too small just to say you fit into a small size ADOPT: Buying clothes that fit and accepting they look better

I can not stress this one enough! I think I hold this tip near and dear because I wish someone had worked harder to drum it into my head before I knew better. Yes, trust me, I know how incredible it is to fit into a small size. But you know what’s not incredible? When you have to get rid of that item which has been left in your closet untouched because it simply doesn’t fit!

And even worse is when you wait so long that said item can’t be returned and cannot be found anywhere at a bigger size (trust me, I’ve been there; it’s painful!).

Accept your body for what it looks like right now, not what you want it to look like at some point in the future,  and shop accordingly!

3. STOP: Seeking the approval of others ADOPT: Approving of yourself

It is really easy to fall into the trap of basing your sense of worth on the way others respond to you.  I’ve had those nights when I would go out thinking I looked great and then quickly deduce I must look like crap since I wasn’t getting hit on (it’s shameful, but I think we’ve all been there).

Your boss doesn’t need to pat you on the head and tell you what a great worker you are for it to be true, your boyfriend doesn’t have to tell you how beautiful you are every minute of the day, your friends don’t need to tell you what a great/smart/funny/sweet/caring/pretty person you are.

You should KNOW these things. They should be so firmly ingrained that any outside affirmation is nice, but not necessary.

It is so liberating to not need approval from others. You know you’re great, you know you have so much to offer the world, we all do. Depending on others for assurance and affirmations is a surefire way to be endlessly disappointed.

So free yourself and love who you are. The other option just sucks!

4. STOP: Regretting the past ADOPT: Living in the present and looking to the future

We all have regrets and we’ve all made mistakes. Another mistake would be to spend your time dwelling on the past and thinking about how things may have turned out if you had gone a different route.

You are in the here-and-now.  Going back and starting anew only happens in the movies. I often wonder what life would have been like if I didn’t date that guy, if I went to that other school, if I took that job, if I worked a little harder, did a little more, etc etc. I can’t think of any good that has come out of such musings. All I know is the path that I took brought me here not there and I’ve learned to make ‘here’ pretty wonderful.

So let go of the baggage holding you back and instead of thinking of how things might have been, work towards making them what they could be.

Do you have any bad habits to stop and good habits to adopt that didn’t make the list? Please share in the comments section!

– SABRINA ALEXIS

4 comments… add one

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Tami

Struggling with my kids – 20 and 24 both boys – their good kids but they just don’t get it and it’s causing a lot of heartache within myself and with my fiancé .. we live together – just me and my finance because I’ve kicked my boys out cause they just have done all wrong possible, and they still haven’t learned … my fiancé has tried with them but he doesn’t want to give them another chance but I bring mom does .. my oldest supposedly has a baby coming but , the first one isn’t his , the 2nd baby on the way , they say it is , but I can’t trust that being the first one wasn’t ..he’s living with her and the parents of the Gf and now we continue to have a stranded relationship – the youngest – I want to bring him back but there’s a lot of differences between me and my finance because of the first child and somewhat of the 2nd — who is only 20 years old .. I know that my fiancé wants to create a scenario that if I bring him back , it will all go to s**t and now we are in a situation where my fiancé is wanting out , been together for 12 years . I help s much as I can with my youngest but he can’t stsy here — stays at his gf with her mom but they got into a fight and doesn’t even want to stay there either .. love my boys to the moon and back, but I also , for the first time , love my life , but without my kids , it’s tough . Don’t like the oldest gf, the youngest gf, I like — I want to help and I do try little things , but , it’s just tough without not being able to bring them back into our home – it just causes alit if chaos .. I don’t know what to do .. I’m sad , I’m angry , I’m remorseful , and I nEver was like this . It was so much easier when they were young , but now they are grown , I don’t know what to do ..I used to be so happy and now I don’t know what I am . I just want them to do what they need to do to grow as adults but at the same time I want to comfort them and help in small ways .. ‍♀️

Reply September 17, 2019, 7:50 pm

Tami

Preventing me from happiness

Reply September 17, 2019, 7:50 pm

Esther khan

Hi I like very much what I read here and it’s very helpful indeed…but I have question and I need some answers come you help?

Reply April 20, 2010, 10:36 am

Harry

Sometimes it’s easier to use a new habit to replace an old habit.

For a simple approach to tracking habits, setting goals, and being more productive, you may want to check out http://www.GoalsOnTrack.com, a very nicely built web app designed for tracking goals and todo lists, and supports time tracking too. It’s clear, focused, easy to navigate, worth a try.

Reply December 10, 2009, 12:52 pm

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