Bad Habits to Stop and Good Habits to Adopt post image

Bad Habits to Stop and Good Habits to Adopt

I am definitely not perfect, nor is anyone else out there. However, I am someone with a vested interest in improving myself and finding ways to live a happier, more meaningful life. I know what it’s like for things to seriously suck. I know what it is to feel like the world is conspiring against you. I also know that changing the way you think about yourself and carry yourself in the world can have an enormous impact on your life as a whole.

I have thought a lot about the idea of bad habits to stop and good ones to adopt (no, I’m not talking about things like smoking, eating fast food, biting your nails, etc).  It isn’t always easy, but I do it and in turn, I have seen some pretty incredible results.

Read on to learn how to improve your life and happiness with a few minor adjustments!

STOP: Thinking/saying bad things about people.
ADOPT: Looking for the positive in people

We have all been guilty of this one at one point or another- ‘she’s not pretty, what does he see in her?’ ‘She’s annoying why does anyone like her?’ “Ew, that guy is gross, why is he talking to me?” “What in the world is that girl wearing?” And I think I could go on and on for days. The things you say/think about other people actually say more about you than they do the other person. These things usually reflect some deep-rooted insecurity or bitterness and manifest themselves as ‘projection.’

Not only that, when you think mean things about people, it just changes your whole vibration and effects the energy that you put out to the world (not to sound too new age but it’s true!). Sure sometimes people annoy us or do things we don’t approve of, but instead of dwelling on the negatives, why not look at something positive? Trust me, thinking positive thoughts about other people is a much healthier way to truly feel good as opposed to putting them down and subconsciously reveling in your supposed superiority.

STOP: Putting yourself down
ADOPT: Total acceptance for who you are

“I’m so fat” “I’m so dumb” “I’m so lazy”- do thoughts like these bring any value to your life? NO! These thoughts only bring you down, zap you of all motivation, and make you feel like crap. Sure, striving towards improvement is a wonderful thing, but you will not get there by being your own worst enemy.  Instead of ‘I’m so fat’ why not try: ‘My body isn’t perfect, but I do have great (insert positive attribute) and I can work on improving everything else.” Sounds simple (and it is), but trust me, it works. People don’t give thoughts enough credit. Thoughts affect everything- how we feel, what we say, how we interpret the world around us. What you think has a huge impact on your mood, so what do you think is gonna happen when you allow yourself to be consumed with negative thoughts? Well, you’re gonna end up in a negative mood!

Positive people who truly love and accept themselves are like magnetic attraction-fields. Those are the kind of people that others really want to be around because of their infectious aura. Well now YOU can be one of those people.

STOP: Criticizing
ADOPT: Understanding

Criticizing others is a surefire way to not get them to respond in the way you want. When you criticize, it stirs resentment in the other person more than anything else and severely cripples their motivation (just think about all the times you’ve been criticized). Instead, try to offer praise, acknowledgment, and encouragement first. People are much more likely to do something (and to want to do it) when they know their work is being valued and appreciated. Also, it never actually feels good to be the criticizer (it usually makes me feel guilty and kind of like a bitch). Trust me, you’ll get the results you want and will feel a whole lot better if you use appreciation, kindness, and some helpful and constructive suggestions rather than an outright attack.

ADOPT: Being humble

Bragging is the biggest indicator that someone is insecure. When you brag, it isn’t usually because you really think you’re so great and incredible, it’s because you don’t believe these things but want to make other people think they’re true, make sense?

Bragging will get you nowhere. Well it will get you a few places, it will annoy people, it will incite eye-rolls galore, and it will make people think you’re either painfully insecure or annoyingly full of yourself.

Sometimes it feels like we need assurance, like we need someone to say: ‘Wow, you did that? That’s amazing! You are so incredible!’ However, just because it feels like we need it doesn’t mean we actually do. You know what’s even better than relying on other people to pick us up when we’re down? Picking ourselves up! You can’t find happiness or confidence on the outside, these things come from within. So praise yourself, acknowledge your achievements and know that you’re awesome.


Written by Sabrina Alexis

I’m Sabrina Alexis, the co-founder, and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing relatable, insightful articles that help people understand relationship dynamics and how to get the love they want. I have a degree in psychology and have spent the last 10 years interviewing countless men and reading and studying as much as I can to better understand human psychology and how men operate. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Instagram.

22 comments… add one

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Thanks for the read, I like how your put things and it gave be a new prospective on a lot and it make sense. In truth it would have never made any sense if it was not broken down the way it was. I wrote it all down of the things need to stop and I have it next to by desk so that it reminds me of what I need to fix. thank you

Reply August 9, 2021, 7:47 pm

Janet Schulenberg

This is an EXCELLENT article! In therapy I learned to re frame the way I perceived feelings and situations using Cognitive behavior therapy. The thoughta you describe are what we’re called automatic tgoughts because they seem to just come up and often they sabotage us. By conseriding (barnstorming) other ways to look at a negative thought about yourself or how you imagibe someone fwwla about you, you actually start to re-wire your brain! You learn to banish that inner critic and feel better about yourself. Those re framing thoughts that are positive work so well and you are spot on! Have a great dat!

Reply July 29, 2019, 12:17 pm


I’m glad there’s someone like you, to say what needs to be said about how we as a society act, and how people treat other people. I believe 85% of people in this world need to hear and think about who they are and how they are toward others. We are all equal when it comes to being human beings. However the lessons in etiquette stopped along time ago. Today everyone seems to be into their self’s, snapping pictures of them self, not one but 100’s, seem a bit self centered and self centered people can be mean. There are still polite, nice people in the world. For the most part people are mean and judgmental. It’s not men or women, it’s people, and people need to be taught morals, and how to respect them self’s as well as other’s. The fastest way to heal any issue is to find forgiveness and as you said just be nice. There is something special about every person in this world. If every person clicked what made them special into other people’s special the bond could be unbreakable and society as a whole may be happier. Sorry if that sounds stupid? Everyone of us, Everyone has beautiful in side. People should help people, and people should be fare with people. We all feel, there for we all know how we should act, not only with our self, but toward others. If we learn to respect our self’s, we can respect other’s. Especially women, we have a lot more control than we think. Use it to teach, it may be a mans world but when it comes right down to it girls, P.P.R.T.W. pussy power rules the world. So stop being mean to each other.

Reply July 26, 2019, 9:54 am


Thank you for all the great advice on relationships. I love reading your articles each day!!

Reply April 23, 2019, 5:34 pm


Thanks so much for your advice. I’ve made notes on improving “me” from being hard on myself. Thanks for sharing steps on looking for love.I need to love self first.

Reply November 24, 2016, 11:49 am


Hi Sabrina ,

Thankyou so very much for all your advice that you give. I havnt got a close enough friend to talk to about these things, so I always look forward to hearing from you. And a lot of advice that you have given has
proved so right

Reply November 14, 2016, 3:12 pm


Yet again excellent advise thank you and the energy from you is great its if your here in person with me x

Reply October 19, 2016, 4:14 am


Love it! Inspiring.

Reply January 5, 2016, 9:20 am


I find this awesome and very helpful. thank you!!!!!

Reply December 7, 2015, 2:06 am

Cathy Leasure

This makes sense just to keep practicing it on self I have lots of issues on self esteem

Reply August 7, 2015, 11:41 am


Hi Sabrina,

The universe has its own way to synchronize events in our life. I am equally guilty of those negative habits but always trying my best to improve. This effort is further reinforced by your article. Thank you so much!

Reply July 3, 2015, 9:33 pm


Thanks Sabrina.. It’s awesome..

Reply June 21, 2015, 12:13 am


thank you…I appreciate all of your advice

Reply February 1, 2015, 2:22 am


This was extremely helpful! I appreciate you taking the time to write it! I have been writing my neg. Thoughts down as soon as I think it, then write down a positive next to has helped so much and this email has helped me to move two more steps forward! THANX Lindy

Reply January 4, 2014, 4:06 pm


Am so loving you Sabrina right now! I found my answer through this article… thank you!

Reply September 5, 2013, 11:49 pm


Love this thanks Sabrina :)

Reply April 29, 2013, 6:46 pm


Thank you for writing this, truly helps!!!

Reply October 26, 2012, 1:45 pm


Thanks! That makes a lot of sense and I need to stop beating myself up!

Reply August 25, 2012, 8:10 am


Not only the stated fact in the article is inspiring but the energy of you within it that want us to be better is an encouragement for me.
Somebody out there is caring about others and writing by heart for me is a n inspiration!

Thank you Sabrina.

Reply May 19, 2012, 3:14 am


Just needed that boost..thank you. :)

Reply May 15, 2012, 1:20 pm


Great post. It helps a lot.

Reply May 6, 2012, 11:10 am


Oooo, great post. Its so true though: turning your bad habits into good ones is such a great thing to do.

Reply November 26, 2009, 7:59 am

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